Como Traumas na Infância Geram Dependência - Gabor maté, Carl Jung e Lise Bourbeau

Addiction is not just a repetitive habit. It's a sign, an alert that something inside us is out of place. It appears as an attempt to alleviate a deep pain, an emotional void that we cannot face directly.

But, instead of solving it, it ends up trapping us in a cycle that seems to never end. Imagine being stuck in a behavior that, even though it has negative consequences, you feel like you can't stop. It's like trying to fill a void, but never being able to.

Even if you satisfy this desire momentarily, it soon returns, stronger, demanding more attention, more energy, leaving you even more exhausted and lost. The problem is that addiction tries to fulfill false needs. It deceives, promising a feeling of relief or fulfillment that never arrives.

It's like eating without ever feeling satisfied. The brain keeps sending “I need more” signals, while other important life priorities fall by the wayside. But what is behind this seemingly uncontrollable repetition?

What makes someone insist on something they know is harmful to themselves? In essence, these behaviors are expressions of a deeper pain, an invisible wound. Have you ever reflected on why some people seem to fall hopelessly into the arms of addiction, while others manage, almost inexplicably, to escape these temptations?

Addiction is one of the most intricate and challenging dilemmas of the human mind. In our society, it manifests itself in countless ways – from the uncontrolled use of substances to compulsive behaviors that mask a deep existential void. Is addiction just a lack of willpower?

Or is there something deeper that most of us can't see? In this video, we will explore the phenomenon of addiction through the perspectives of Carl Jung, Gabor Maté, an expert on family health experience and child development, Alice Miller, an expert on traumatic childhood experiences, and Lise Bourbeau, an expert on emotional wounds. Let's uncover how addiction manifests itself and understand why it often becomes such a difficult cycle to break.

We will discover that addictive behaviors are not mere reactions to external influences, but reflections of unresolved internal conflicts. Here, our goal is to look at addiction not just as a behavioral problem, but as a symptom of something deeper. Carl Jung thought: "Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether it is drugs, alcohol or idealism.

" Addiction, for Jung, was not simply a character flaw or moral weakness, but rather a cry of the unbalanced psyche. He believed that, in essence, addictions are forms of escape: attempts to deal with psychological suffering or fill an existential void. When a person is unable to confront their own internal issues, they often turn to addictive behaviors in search of relief.

However, this temporary solution only serves to mask deeper pain. Jung viewed the human psyche as an interconnected whole – a complex network of conscious and unconscious aspects. Addiction, according to him, is often an unconscious attempt to fill an inner void.

This emptiness can come in different forms: a feeling of lack of purpose, emotional disconnection, or even parts of the personality that have been repressed or ignored. In a similar perspective, Gabor Maté believes that addiction arises as a way of dealing with untreated emotional pain, especially childhood trauma. For him, addictions are a reflection of an unmet need for love and connection, fundamental elements for healthy development, which, when absent in childhood, can manifest themselves in addictive behaviors in adult life.

Alice Miller, in turn, focuses on the experience of childhood emotional wounds. She argues that when these wounds are not recognized and healed, they shape how the individual responds to suffering in adulthood, often resulting in emotional or substantial dependence. Lise Bourbeau complements this view by observing that emotional wounds, especially those caused by rejection, abandonment or betrayal, can lead the individual to seek out behaviors addictions as a form of self-medication.

For her, addictions are not just an attempt to escape pain, but also a way to avoid confronting the true origin of this internal pain. Furthermore, Jung saw addiction as a way out of reality. In times of stress, anguish or existential crises, a person may seek refuge in substances or compulsive behaviors as a way to relieve the pressure of life.

However, this escape is always temporary. The return to reality is not only inevitable, but is often accompanied by even more suffering. Thus, the vicious cycle perpetuates itself: addiction does not solve the problem – it only deepens it.

Think about compulsive use of social media, pornography, video games, gambling, sex, shopping, or even seemingly healthy activities like exercise or work. Any of these practices can turn into an addiction. Maté highlights that “any passion can become an addiction”.

But how to differentiate between the two? What happens when something that starts as a passion turns into behavior you can no longer control? What are the roots of this uncontrolled impulse?

The central question is: who is in control – you or the behavior? Passions can be dominated, but an obsession that is beyond your control is what characterizes addiction. Could it be that the need to escape reality, emotional emptiness or deep pain is driving this behavior?

If you have doubts, Maté suggests a direct and revealing question: given the damage you are causing to yourself and others, would you be willing to stop? If the answer is “no,” it’s likely that addiction is in control. But why, even when conscience recognizes evil, the will to stop seems not to be enough?

Could it be that something in your history, something you have never been able to heal, is fueling this resistance? And if you find that you can't give up the behavior or keep your promise to stop, the reality is clear: addiction is taking over your life. What could be behind this?

What internal wounds have not yet been addressed that make them so difficult to face? You have fallen into an addiction. And now?

There is an ongoing debate about what actually causes this condition. While some claim that the problem resides in the person, a broader and more precise explanation reveals that addiction is the result of the interaction between the individual and the object. But isn't this interaction, in part, an attempt to fill emotional gaps left by childhood experiences?

In essence, addiction arises when someone constantly seeks to alter their internal state – their sense of being – and becomes dependent on an object or activity to achieve this desired transformation. What may be at stake, in addition to behavior, are the scars of a past. In the book Addiction by Design, Natasha Dow Schüll deepens this idea by highlighting that, just as certain individuals are more predisposed to addiction, there are also objects and activities with an inherent potential to intensify it.

This is due to its unique characteristics – whether pharmacological or structural – that facilitate or accelerate the development of dependence. The strength of these objects lies in their ability to provoke intense subjective changes, which some people come to depend on to escape their emotional pain. The reality is that we live surrounded by objects and activities with a high potential for addiction.

Social networks, games, chemicals or even routine activities can easily become traps. So what makes some people more vulnerable to addiction than others? The roots of addiction are not in the simple desire for pleasure, but in deep suffering – visible or hidden in the unconscious.

More than a search for moments of satisfaction, chronic substance use is, in fact, an attempt to escape. It's a desperate strategy to escape pain that otherwise seems impossible to bear. The forms of pain that lead a person to addiction are as diverse as their life stories.

For some, addiction is a form of self-medication against depression, insecurities or anxiety. Others turn to substances or compulsive behaviors as an escape valve from the stress of stressful jobs or relationships. And there are those who seek to avoid the suffering caused by the lack of purpose or the hopelessness that accompanies the existential void.

Gabor Maté shared an impactful story: in a conversation with a 47-year-old man, who had been addicted to drugs since he was a teenager, he asked him why he continued to use. The answer was direct and revealing: "I don't know, I'm just trying to fill a void in my life. It's boredom, just a lack of direction.

" This confession illustrates what many experience – an inner abyss that seems insatiable. Lise Bourbeau, a specialist in emotional wounds, proposes that this emptiness can be amplified by unrecognized or untreated wounds, such as fear of abandonment, rejection or humiliation, often originating in childhood. These wounds create unconscious patterns that lead people to look in the external world for something to alleviate the pain they carry internally.

Often, the emotional pain that leads to addiction is rooted in the past, especially in childhood. Studies show that a significant portion of hard drug addicts grew up in abusive environments. As Lise Bourbeau states: “Every unrecognized and unhealed wound drives us to create situations in which this pain manifests itself repeatedly.

” In the first years of life, when the brain is extremely malleable, the child is emotionally and psychologically fused with the parents. Just as a baby in the womb depends on the mother's body, at this stage, which goes from conception to approximately one year of life, the wound of rejection may appear, marked by the feeling of not being wanted or accepted. Between one and three years of age, dependence on the parents' emotional environment becomes crucial.

When the parent of the opposite sex is absent or does not meet emotional needs, the wound of abandonment begins to form. At the same time, the relationship with the parent responsible for physical care, usually the mother, can generate the wound of humiliation, if basic needs are not adequately met or if the child is subjected to criticism and devaluation. Between the ages of two and four, the connection with the parent of the opposite sex becomes even more significant, and breaches of trust or unmet expectations can give rise to the wound of betrayal, resulting in feelings of mistrust or hurt.

Between the ages of four and six, the wound of injustice can emerge, fueled by situations of unequal treatment, discrimination or violation of rights. This period is marked by a greater perception of the world around, and experiences of inequality can generate deep feelings of frustration, anger or impotence. A dysfunctional childhood, full of these wounds, plants seeds of deep suffering in the child's mind, repressing their emotional pain and significantly altering their brain development.

This toxic environment not only compromises psychological well-being, but also increases vulnerability to addiction in adulthood, directly impacting areas of the brain responsible for emotions, reward and impulse control. This type of emotional void, according to Miller, is especially harmful because the child cannot name or understand what is missing, but feels the disconnection in their essence, generating a lasting impact on their psychological and emotional development. She states: "Absence is not just physical; it is emotional.

Being present in body but absent in soul can hurt as much as complete abandonment. " Maté, in Kingdom of the Hungry Ghosts, explains that a child can experience emotional distress even with a caregiver who is physically present but emotionally absent. In normal situations, the child will try to reconnect emotionally.

However, if this attempt is ignored or inadequately responded to, they will develop unhealthy coping mechanisms such as rocking, sucking their thumb, or even emotionally disconnecting to escape the pain. These behaviors, initially forms of self-soothing, can evolve into seeking chemical relief from external sources in adulthood. Children deprived of attentive emotional presence of parents are more likely to turn to addictions later on, as their emotional and psychological development has been harmed.

However, Maté points out that even those who had a healthy and nutritious childhood are not immune to addictions these days. We currently live in a world that, like the decline of the Roman Empire, encourages the search for pleasure as a form of escape. The anguish generated by a bleak vision of the future and social decline pushes many people towards addictive behaviors – not out of physical necessity, but as a form of self-medication against the hopelessness that permeates modern society.

Understanding these dynamics helps us see addiction not just as a personal choice, but as a profound response to the emotional and cultural pain that shapes our lives. In modern society, conforming often means delving into consumerism and compulsively using technology, social media and entertainment to escape feelings of powerlessness and emptiness. This dynamic created a perfect social storm, resulting in a veritable addiction crisis.

As Carl Jung observed: "Modern man does not understand how much his rationality has been stripped of his ability to feel at home in the universe. " "A deficient sense of emptiness permeates our entire culture. The drug addict is more painfully aware of this emptiness than most people.

. . Many of us resemble the addict in our ineffective attempts to fill the spiritual black hole, the emptiness at the center, where we have lost touch with our souls, our spirit—with those sources of meaning and value that are not contingent or fleeting.

Our consumerist culture, obsessed with acquisitions, actions, and images, only deepens this hole, leaving us emptier. of than before. " —Gabor Maté, In the Kingdom of Hungry Ghosts Considering the large number of people who grew up in abusive or emotionally absent homes, coupled with the corrupted state of society, it is not surprising that so many turn to drugs, alcohol, and behavioral addictions as a way to cope with their life.

And, as destructive as it may seem, this resource is not completely irrational — nor completely ineffective. Addictions work — at least temporarily. They are extremely effective in relieving emotional suffering and pain.

Gabor Maté reports the testimony of a heavy drug user who stated: The reason I use drugs is so I don't feel. . .

the feelings I feel when I don't use them. " Likewise, Lise Bourbeau explains: "Discarding addictions as 'bad habits' or 'self-destructive behaviors' is to ignore the essential role they play in masking the unresolved pains and deep wounds of the being. " In addition to alleviating suffering, addictions also offer, albeit briefly, an escape from monotony or misery of everyday life.

They can transport a person to experiences charged with excitement, meaning and even ecstasy. At the beginning of the 20th century, psychologist Alice Miller, in her studies on the psychological impact of childhood experiences, pointed out how the search for relief. Emotional pain can manifest itself in a number of ways, including substance use.

Miller wrote: "Escaping emotional pain through substances is an attempt to alleviate the deep suffering that comes from childhood wounds. This temporary relief quickly turns into a prison, where the search for a sense of comfort becomes increasingly intense but never truly satisfying. " —Alice Miller "Although addictions may work in the short term, as we become dependent on shortcuts to emotional relief and ecstasy, we pay a price over time.

" — Alice Miller, The Bruised Child The longer we persist in an addiction, the greater our tolerance becomes, and the more dependent we become on the substance or activity to feel any positive emotion. Gradually , addiction It becomes the center of our lives, while everything else that could bring lasting satisfaction—our health, relationships, creativity, career, or life purpose—fades into the background. addiction alters the structure of the brain, compromising our ability for voluntary control.

When we are in the grip of an addiction, we often find ourselves in a state known as “brain block” — our actions follow the addictive impulses, while a part of our mind watches intently but helplessly, aware that we are destroying our mind, body and potential. However, not all relationships are beneficial. Often, ties to individuals or environments that fuel addiction or perpetuate destructive behaviors are directly connected to our shadows — aspects generated by repressed or hidden, unrecognized emotional wounds of ourselves.

The shadow, as Jung explains, represents everything that we cannot or do not want to accept in our personality, and it is often projected into our relationships, leading us to seek experiences that reinforce our addictions or self-destructive patterns. By not integrating these parts of ourselves, we perpetuate the search for temporary relief that only intensifies long-term suffering. “Shadow is not just a negative aspect; it also contains great potential for growth.

Individuation can only be accomplished when we accept the entirety of our psyche, including our shadow. " — Carl Jung Furthermore, the persona, the social mask we use to adapt to the expectations of the external world, can lead us to establish connections based on in appearances and convenience rather than authenticity. In the process of individuation, it is essential that the individual distance themselves from influences that feed these masks and that reinforce destructive dynamics.

growth, healing and reconciliation with the deepest parts of ourselves. Genuine relationships and safe environments become fertile ground for transformation, allowing the individual to shed the shadows that imprison them and come closer to their wholeness . moment when the person experiences a spiritual awakening and a radical change in consciousness.

This transformation goes beyond relieving emotional pain; it creates a space for addictive behavior patterns to dissolve. The profound shift in consciousness brought about by integration of self not only interrupts the cycle of addiction but also ushers in a more authentic and fulfilling life. By understanding that addiction is, ultimately , a reflection of the internal battle, the individual finds in self-knowledge and transcendence the tools to transform pain into growth and compulsion into freedom.

One of the biggest misconceptions about addiction is treating it as a simple lack of willpower. In fact, addiction reflects something much more complex: it is not just a failure of personal resolution, but a symptom of deeper problems. This, however, does not eliminate individual responsibility .

Instead, it highlights the importance of external forces – social, emotional and spiritual – that can both hinder and facilitate the healing process. The emotional support provided by a healthy community offers something fundamental: a sense of belonging. This is one of the most important pillars for healing, as it fills the emotional and spiritual void that often sustains addiction.

As Alice Miller teaches us, “only when we can truly be seen and welcomed can we begin to heal. When we are accepted, with all our flaws, that's when we can build the foundation of our authenticity. " This process of acceptance, both internal and external, is the key to transforming the shadows we carry and ultimately reintegrating them into our inner selves.

With the right support, the courage to reflect on one's wounds, and the willingness to transform, it is possible to not only overcome addiction, but also discover a new purpose. As Lise Bourbeau says, “True healing comes when we allow ourselves to be. who we really are, without masks, without shields, just with the courage to be.