Elon Musk Begs Retired Air Traffic Controllers to Return to Work, Trump Puts His Trust in Putin

-Enjoy yourself, everybody. Welcome, everyone. Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show"!

-[ Cheers and applause ] -"The Tonight Show"! This is it. Thank you for being here.

Thank you for watching. Well, guys, the 97th Oscars are this Sunday. Yeah, that's right.

Ten movies are nominated for Best Picture, including "Wicked" and. . .

[ Cheers and applause ] . . .

and nine others. The Oscars celebrate all the incredible, innovative, and inspiring movies that you're waiting to watch on Netflix. It's very exciting.

Well, this is very exciting. Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo will open the show with a performance from "Wicked. " [ Cheers and applause ] I don't know.

Does "Wicked" really work onstage? [ Laughter ] This year, the Best Actor nominees include Timothée Chalamet for his role as Bob Dylan. -[ Cheers and applause ] -Yeah.

And Elon Musk for his role as president. I heard that this year's Oscar gift bag contains $200,000 worth of items. -Ooh!

-That's right. It's one carton of eggs. That's a whole.

. . [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ Cool.

Yeah, the Oscars are this Sunday, and I read that President Trump is a big movie fan. And he actually put out his own reviews of all the Best Picture nominees. -Really?

-Yeah. Let's take a look. First up, after he saw "A Complete Unknown," Trump said.

. . -Oh.

-Who's that guy again? Up next, after he saw "Dune: Part Two," Trump said. .

. It's like, "Oh, it's not real. " Next up, after he saw "Emilia Pérez," Trump said.

. . [ Audience groans ] -Wow!

♪♪ -That's what he said. -Yeah, that's what he said. -Do you believe that's what he said?

-He put out his own reviews. That's the crazy part. -And then, after he saw "I'm Still Here," Trump said.

. . It's like, "Hey, oh, wait!

I'm over. . .

" Up next, after he saw "Anora," Trump said. . .

Wow, it was interesting. A long review. Wow!

-From the heart. -And, finally, after he saw "Wicked," Trump said. .

. Interesting reviews. It's cool that he's into movies at least.

Speaking of Trump, today, he said that he trusts Vladimir Putin not to violate a peace deal with Ukraine. Trump was like, "I mean, look at him. He'll give you the shirt right off his back, you know?

" Did you guys see this today? Elon Musk posted something on X that got people's attention. He wrote.

. . That must have been a fun tweet to read while you're in mid-flight today.

It's like, "What? " "We're going to go ahead and turn off the Gogo Wi-Fi for a little bit and. .

. Take that Gogo off and. .

. " Switching gears, Meghan Markle just announced her new lifestyle brand called As Ever, which is a little confusing, because it used to be called American Riviera Orchard. This is true.

And before that, it was called The TIG. Yes, confusing, but it's like -- You know, it's like food, beauty, wellness, home decor. This is branding, life-branding stuff.

So, we understand it can be hard to name your brand, so here to help you give your brand a name, we made this educational video. ♪♪ -Hey, are you interested in a whole lot of different stuff, but can't pick a brand focus? Just shove it all together under one lifestyle umbrella.

Come on, it's fun. Come on! ♪♪ ♪ Customers will understand ♪ ♪ When you jam it all into one big brand ♪ ♪ Take one letter from each thing ♪ ♪ Give your brand an international ring ♪ -♪ Kaleid-o-bility!

♪ -Oh, man. -[ Cheers and applause ] That is very helpful. That's very helpful.

Well, some business news. I saw that, tomorrow, Party City is closing all of their stores. -Aww!

-Yeah, there's nothing more somber than letting the air out of 100 balloons that say "Congrats. " And listen to this. Apparently, Tropicana orange juice could be headed for bankruptcy.

Right now, Sunny D is looking around like, "How the hell are we still here? " What. .

. What are we? " And finally, you guys, it's our last show of February, so you know what that means.

It's time for me and Tariq to rhyme the month. [ Cheers and applause ] You ready, Tariq? -Let's do it.

-Here we go. -♪ The name of the month is February ♪ -♪ Was it eventful, I'd say very ♪ -♪ Canada's our adversary ♪ -♪ And egg price is super-scary ♪ -♪ Bird flu, please be sanitary ♪ -♪ Mask up your pet. .

. canary ♪ -♪ Mitch McConnell fell down stairies ♪ ♪ Trump called pennies unnecessary ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪ -♪ Elon is a billionairey ♪ -♪ Feels like he and Trump are married ♪ -♪ RFK is secretary ♪ -♪ And he might give us dysentery ♪ -♪ Luka traded, so unfairy ♪ -♪ Now the Yankees can be hairy ♪ -♪ Eagles won, they're legendary ♪ -♪ Kendrick's jeans were extra flarey ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪ -♪ Grammys had that music blaring ♪ -♪ Benson's bulge was kind of glaring ♪ -♪ "SNL" had Roots and Cher-y ♪ -♪ That was awesome, I was therey ♪ ♪ Hooters bankrupt, might be buried ♪ -♪ Stepdads everywhere despairing ♪ -♪ Trump wrote the obituary ♪ -♪ I'm keeping up, but only barely ♪ -♪ The name of the month, the name of the month ♪ ♪ The name of the month is February ♪ [ Cheers and applause ] -♪ Yeah ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪ -We have a great show. Give it up for The Roots, ladies and gentlemen.

[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ Oh-ho! Oh, the best right there! Tariq Trotter from The Roots, Black Thought!

-Come on! The Roots! -[ Cheers and applause ] What a show we have for you tonight.

Oh, my gosh, so much talent. He's a very talented actor who you can see in the new movie "Mickey 17," which is in theaters and IMAX March 7th. Mark Ruffalo is here tonight!

[ Cheers and applause ] -Come on. -I love that guy. Plus, he's a very funny comedian who has a new Netflix special out now, called "Gabriel Iglesias: Legend of Fluffy.

" Gabriel Iglesias is joining us this evening! -[ Cheers and applause ] -Oh! -And that's not all.

-What? ! -We got great music from Giveon!

[ Cheers and applause ] Hey, everyone, it's a Thursday night in February, and I think we're all looking to get a little inspired for the weekend. Looking for a little -- a little change, maybe a little makeover, you know? Make you want to maybe look in the mirror and think, "Yassss.

" That's right. Someone's about to get Yassified. Here we go!

-♪ Yassify ♪ -Now, last week -- Thank you, Damon. [ Chuckles ] He passed out in rehearsal. It's fantastic.

Last week, we asked people to nominate someone that they thought needed a little push over the line to become their best self, someone who needed to be Yassified. We got submissions from all over the world. Grandmas, grandpas, coaches, teachers.

And tonight's lucky winners are Rachel and Steve from New York City! [ Cheers and applause ] Yeah. Rachel and Steve have had a very busy day.

Take a look at this. -Hi. I'm Rachel.

-And I'm Steve. -And today, we're getting Yassified. -My personal style -- I would say Muppet-adjacent is probably what I strive for.

Maybe a little Gimli, for obvious reasons. Rachel actually told me that if my ass didn't get Yassified, that his this was over. -Yeah.

-She's leaving me. -A make-or-break for our relationship. My biggest fear is that we're just gonna like it so much and they won't let us keep the outfits.

-I'm keeping the makeup on, though. We're going to dinner after this, and I'm keeping that makeup on. -Yeah!

That's right! Rachel and Steve have been -- They've been separated and sequestered since their Yassification and they haven't seen each other or themselves yet. Alright.

We're about to reveal Rachel and Steve's new look. Audience, are you ready for this? [ Cheers and applause ] Here's Rachel and Steve before.

And here they are now! Come on out! ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ [Laughing] Oh, my God.

Wow! That's Yassified! You -- You look fantastic.

Both of you look great. What do you think of each other's looks? -This j-- This feels so right.

-Yeah. You look stunning. -I've never seen a bedazzled beard.

That's unbelievable. -Everything's gonna be different now. -Everything's gonna be different now.

Now for the most important reveal of all. Rachel, Steve, are you ready to see yourselves? -Both: Yes.

-Here we go. I want you to look at that mirror. One, two, three.

Yass! -♪ Yassify ♪ -I think you look good. -Yeah.

-I think you got to rock this out. -Yes! -You have to wear this to dinner tonight.

-Oh, yes. -This is fantastic. -It's permanent.

-Yes, this is permanent. It's gonna change -- That wraps up Yassify Week on "The Tonight Show. " Stick around.

We'll be right back with Thank You Notes. Yass! -♪ Yassify ♪ -You guys look fantastic.

-♪ Yassify ♪ ♪ Yassify ♪ -Welcome back, everybody. It is the end of the week, and that's usually when I catch up on some personal stuff. You know, I check my inbox, I return some e-mails, and, of course, I send out thank-you notes.

-And I do that -- Thanks. -[ Cheers and applause ] Well, I was running a bit behind today. -Because you had to yassify yourself?

-I didn't have to yassify myself, but, yeah, I had to be concerned that people were getting yassified and stuff like that, and I wanted to make sure everyone was -in their best selves. -Aww! -And so, yeah, I was running a bit behind.

I thought, if you guys wouldn't mind, I'd like to write out my weekly thank-you notes right now. -Right now. -[ Cheers and applause ] That's okay?

You guys are the best. James. .

. That's James Poyser right there. -Oh, my God!

-James, can I get some thank-you-note-writing music, please? -[ Soft music playing ] -Yass! -Yass.

-Yeah! He's yassi-- Look at that. Yeah!

-[ Taps rhythmically on desk ] -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! -♪ Yassified ♪ ♪ Say yassified ♪ ♪ Say "I've been yassified" ♪ -♪ Unhh, unhh, eh-unhh ♪ -Meep-morp! -Meh-meh-meh!

-Meep-moop! -James, what if you took out your pocket square and used it -- and made it into a tie or something? Like, would that -- -Like a cravat.

-Yeah, or -- Yeah, that's pretty good. -Maybe an ascot. -Oh!

-Whoa! -Yeah, that's it. That's it.

Yeah! -Yeah! [ Soft music playing ] -Dude, it looks like you're in The Revolution, dude.

-Yeah. -Come on. -Yeah.

No, no, Prince and The Revolution. Yeah. [ Laughter ] -Oh, boy!

♪♪ [ Laughter ] -Oh, my God. Here we go. [ Soft music playing ] -Thank you, Academy -- -[ Laughter ] Dude, that's going to be a meme, you know, right?

Yeah. Or a GIF. Sorry, GIF.

Alright, here we go. [ Soft music playing ] Thank you, Academy Awards Orchestra, for being the classiest way to tell someone to shut up. Yeah.

Go to bed. Go to bed. [ Soft music playing ] Thank you, onions, for being like, "I'm literally getting cut into pieces, but, sure, you cry.

" Come on. [ Soft music playing ] Thank you, hair tie, for being something a detective can pick up and say, "A girlfriend was here. " [ Laughs ] [ Soft music playing ] Thank you, dream catchers, for looking like something a spider would sell on Etsy.

-Here you go. [ Soft music playing ] -Thank you, box of cords in my closet, for letting me rest easy knowing I can still charge the iPod Shuffle I lost in 20. .

. Darn it. -2007.

-Yeah. -I was going to say 20-'07. -20-'07.

-Yeah. That's not what you say for -- -No. -No.

-You should have -- -Trouble-'07. -Yeah. -That's how I say 2007.

-That's what you said? Triple-'07? -No, I said.

. . -You said 20-'07.

-20-'07. -Yeah. -Which is not something anyone says.

-People don't say that. -No. -Humans don't say that.

-No, but I do like -- -Oh, wait. Robots do. -[ Robotic voice ] Let's redo it.

-Oh, no. [ Soft music playing ] -Thank you, box of cords in my closet. .

. for letting me rest easy knowing I can still charge the iPa-- [ Laughter ] ♪♪ -Oh! Damn!

Oh! [ Robotic voice ] Does not compute. -I put the emphasis on "pod.

" -Yeah. -The "iPod. " The "iPod" shuffle.

Do you want to go get some ice "cream" later? -Yeah. -Gonna charge my "iPod.

" Is that the brand-new "iPod" you have? Who talks like that? -Robots do.

-[ Robotic voice ] Let's try it one more time. -[ Automated voice ] Stop. I can't take it anymore.

-Oh, hey, Alexa. . .

Alright, we'll try this one more time? -Alright. We haven't heard this at all.

We've never heard this before. -Yeah. I just feel like we're going to air this, and so you'll just see that we've done this joke twice and it's not worked.

But this. . .

-Each time, it gets better. [ Laughter ] -You think so? -Yeah.

-What if I change the date? Maybe 2008? -Oh, yeah.

Well, don't tell them. -Oh, yeah, yeah. -Yeah, yeah.

Make a new punch line. Yeah. I don't know what year you're going to come up with.

-Yeah, me neither, me neither. -Yeah. But don't say "20-something.

" Yeah. No, he might do it! -No, he won't.

I'll try this one again. -Okay. -And I don't think it's gonna work.

-Three's a charm. [ Soft music playing ] Thank you, box of shords in my closet. .

. [ Laughter ] . .

. for letting me -- for letting me rest easy knowing I can still charge my "iPod" Shuffle I lost in 2017. -Oh!

-[ Cheers and applause ] 2017. ♪♪ Oh, this one's great. I mean, I'm thinking of it.

-Yeah, the one you're thinking of right now. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -You're not reading it.

You're writing it. -No, no, no, I'm writing it -- -Yeah, you're in a state of gratitude. -That's correct.

Here we go. [ Soft music playing ] Thank you, door hook, for looking like an octopus challenging me to a fight. ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] -Last one?

-Eh. . .

Should have ended on that one. [ Laughter ] Oh. You know we can add a fake laugh track and applause?

Or maybe the audience could give this a standing ovation? I don't know what the -- No, no, no. -I don't want to tell anyone -- -[ Cheers and applause ] No, no, no.

I don't know what you're going to do. -Just 'cause you're in New York City, the greatest city in the world, yeah. -I'm not going to -- Yeah, just 'cause I'm in New York City, the greatest city in the world, I'm not going to -- [ Cheers and applause ] I don't know what they're going to do.

I-I-I-I. . .

I'm not going to tell you what to do. Here we go. Alright, here we go.

[ Cheers and applause ] I'm going to read this joke, and I'm not saying that if you stand up, you're guaranteed to be on television tonight. -Yeah, you're not saying that. -But.

. . -Friends and family.

Don't say that. -Alright. [ Soft music playing ] Thank you, hot sauce, for coming in two spice levels -- "a nice kick" and "fire in the hole.

" [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ What? No, no, no. Was it that good?

♪♪ ♪♪ There you have it. Those are my thank-you notes. We'll be right back with Mark Ruffalo!