how to manage your mind so it stops behaving badly

the quality of your mind is the quality of your life it took me 22 years to learn the incredibly simple but life-changing information I'm about to relay to you within the next few minutes because I don't know about you but I don't remember anyone when I was younger sitting me down no single sod said something along the lines of this leis there's this thing called your brain yep up here in your skull and sometimes it's going to be your best friend but more often than not it's going to be your worst enemy so here's the

blueprint on how to manage it no we had to sit there in school and learn bollocks about Longshore drift and Pythagoras Theorem so what I'm trying to say is I'm sorry I'm sorry no one has told you how to manage your mind and I'm sorry you have to rely on some stranger on the internet to tell you how to do so and don't laugh at my drawing in fact yes laugh because we've started off on a serious foot so should we get into it there are only three things you need to do to manage your

brain so you can psychologically flourish one you need to recognize who is in charge at any given moment we're going to cover the two brain regions involved two you need to understand the rules of the brain and accept them because you can't change them and finally you need to nurture and manage your chimp to get the best results for you yes this whole time there has been a chimpanzee Roman free in your mind which is the culprate of most of your demise anyway bcks now I have to try and draw a brain I will not

bore you and focus heavily on the Neuroscience today so in order to simplify it we're just going to focus on free brain regions which are the most important that you need to know about as simplified by Professor Steve Peters in his book The chimp Paradox we're only going to be focusing on the frontal lobe the human the lyic system the chimp and the peral lobe which is the computer and what you'll notice throughout the next few minutes of this video is the degree to which you're able to manage your chimp dictates your flourishing in life

moving on first up we got the chimp which as you'll see is the most important part of your brain to manage the chimp only has two goals survive to avoid danger and to reproduce to make more babies it operates in reference to the laws of the Jungle which are its instincts so freeze fight or flight and it drives all of these things food power sex security territory shelter ego and staying in the troop which is your band of people the chimp makes decisions emotionally which we'll get into in a second and the way its thinking

manifests is much along the lines of but what if this happens or but I feel tired so I'm not going to work out or but I feel overworked so I'm going to bingi and the chimp also engages in black and white thinking the golden rule of this brain region the chimp is that when you're feeling or thinking something you don't want to feel or think you are hijacked by your chimp and you then need to activate your human to override the hijacking and the last thing to know about your chimp is you cannot change it

you can only manage it as great as it would be to change it it's much like having a dog if you're out on a walk and your dog bites someone it's not your fault but it is your responsibility we're going to get into how to manage it later but next the human now focusing on the human the human has two primary goals one self-fulfillment so being the best version of yourself and two social harmony so operating within Society in order to make it flourish and it is governed by the laws of society hence when we

look at some of the drives of the human they involve rationality Logic the goal to balance the chimp honesty conscience self-control purpose and achievement the human is the part of your brain which is activated when you are striving towards goal and you are steering clear of distraction and Temptation and emotionality but the most important aspects of this brain region and one of the ways it balances out the chimp is through rationality and logic it is that voice of reason which speaks to you after a breakup when you realize this too shall pass and I just

need to weather the storm funnily enough the reason it took me 22 years to learn all of this knowledge is because 22 years into my life was when I went through my first break up and my chimp was going absolutely mad and I spent a whole summer just trying to activate my human which I'll teach you how to do the chimp makes decisions based on how it feels right now which is why it pulls you so deeply into the present moment when you're about to relapse or do something you shouldn't be doing however the human

makes decisions based on how you will feel later and if that action is in alignment with a goal you've previously highlighted not sure what's going on there and I know there's more more chat more women watching the channel nowadays which is great I just want to highlight that neuroscientifically are humans male and female are pretty much the same however our chimps are a little bit different because of the hormones involved the hormones which govern the chimp largely for men are testosterone and women estrogen so that was just something to note now let's have a look

at how the human and chimp interact together now looking at a sequence of events in terms of how both the human and the chimp would interpret that sequence of events let's have a look at the Stream So an event happens you get your results back on your exam or you get a weird text from your partner you then interpret it now you have two options in terms of your interpretation one you can lean into the chimp side of things which by the way one thing to note here whenever we receive an input from our external

environment it always goes to the chimp first and then the human second and when it goes to the chimp the chimp is obviously Spellbound into the present moment and it focuses on feelings and Impressions engages in emotional thinking oh my God this means the end of the world and this is something bad oh my God I failed the exam that means I'm worthless and I'm never going to amount to anything or oh my God they sent me a weird message that means they definitely don't like me anymore and then it develops a plan of action

from there very much emotional however if we lean to the human side of things we focus on the facts and truth of the situation we engage our logical thinking and then we instill a plan of action you get your mark back on your test oh I didn't do as well as I thought but I still put a lot of effort in so I'm proud of myself for that and I'm just going to use this as feedback for the next time imagine if we always interpreted in that way brilliant that is the point in those moments

where you feel most rational and aligned and calm that is when your human has been engaged but as mentioned information always goes to the chimp first and then the human second and the reason why that happens as in information goes to the chimp first is because your chimp is a older region of the brain is the most simple way that I could put it and because we evolved from humans who had to pay attention to the present moment lest they die because there were so many dangers like saber-tooth tigers and Cave women and men around

they had to be more attuned to Danger which is what your chimp is it's attuned to threats because remember it wants to survive and it wants to procreate my drawing of the chimp is getting different every single time your chimp is five times stronger than your human and you know this from experience because whenever something happens you usually interpret it in an emotional way until you're able to calm yourself down naturally with facts and logic so the key is we don't control the chimp we manage it to illustrate this further do not try to arm

wrestle your chimp I know it's a funny illustration but the fact that the human is naturally drawn as a stick figure in comparison to the chimp is very indicative of the fact that the chimp is always stronger than the human don't know if you've seen a chimp in real life but there're some strong boys so if you try to control it it will win the fight what you need is to nurture it and then manage it which we're going to get into next to highlight the sequence of events again an input happens the chimp interprets

it emotionally first and then it sends an offer key word offer to the human not a command the human can choose whether to accept or reject what the chimp is suggesting let me illustrate this further but the important thing to note is when the chimp sends an offer and the human accepts it everything is okay the chimp has got what it wanted for example you're sat there doing Focus deep work and suddenly your chimp wants to listen to music if you then allow it to listen to music it won't torment you but when the chimp

sends an offer and the human rejects it the human now has to manage and soothe an upset chimp which we're going to get into now there are four ways to manage the chimp but the most important thing to notice is when your mind is going crazy and again remember the Golden Rule when you're having thoughts or feelings that you don't want to think or feel you need to nurture your chimp and then manage it in that order the three other ways to manage your chimp as well as nurture then manage are exercise box and distract

not for all of you who are like oh he's going to tell us to exercise again this word exercise does not necessarily mean physically exercise if you feel me remember what we covered at the beginning about the chimp it drives some of which include power pleasure food sex and territory but one of the most important ones to knowe when nurturing it is security you have to put your Chimp in a secure place in order to manage it when the chimp is going hey wi and you're thinking and feeling things you don't want to think or

feel you need to First understand what Drive the chimp is trying to fulfill and then you need to help your chimp fulfill that in a way that is acceptable to your goals and the world you currently live in the world you currently live in are you planning on going Mars anytime soon that was a weird way of saying it and the most important thing to note here is what we said at the beginning of this sequence you need to nurture then manage because if you just jump in straight away trying to control your brain when

it's going haywire you're going about it in the wrong way because the chimp most of the time just wants attention and it just wants to be soothed just nutmeg myself with a pen moving on to the second point so exercising your chimp this is a great way to nurture it cuz what we mean by exercise is this that is the best drawing in I've done of the chimp so far Round of Applause a moment of silence for all the other chimps what we mean by exercising the chimp is four things one you take the chimp

to a locked compound two you let it all out three you listen to the chimp for as long as it takes and four you don't comment you know when you're talking to someone and it's just a complete rambling nonsense of things that have annoyed them over the past few days yeah guess who's talking this fell so of course you're the unfortunate fellow who's found yourself listening to this person but think about yourself when I was younger 18 I started to get into stoicism and I used to look very negatively on complaining but now I'm 24

and I've understood more about this chimp management stuff I start to realize that complaining when you're in a locked compound is very important Because We Gather so many things that Annoy Us and all of our guilt and shame and things we're thinking about things that the chimp is emotionally fixated on but if you go to a place and what I mean is the way I do this is I go on a walk two times a day and when I'm walking I talk to myself out loud which side note is why I loved covid because I

could wear a mask and people didn't look at me and think oh my God why is that weirdo talking to himself chimp management that's what I'm doing I should have that written on my forehead but I go and I talk to myself out loud and when I come back I don't still have the ruminating thoughts of what I was talking about on my walk because it's chimp management we have to do this once a day I want you to pay attention to this quote the goal is not to be cured but to always keep one's

ailments at hand ailments meaning medicine I'm not sure who said this quote but it stuck with me ever since I heard it a few years ago remember you cannot change your chimp you only have to manage it you cannot control it either so when you instill a practice like going on a walk talking to yourself out loud screaming into a pillow doing scream therapy like Steve Jobs used to do in a safe environment because remember you don't want to offload this onto the people that love you and care for you you want to be able

to manage your Chimp in your own way you might do this through recording a voice note to yourself when you're feeling the emotional tension rise and pulsate throughout your life and remember you let it all out without commenting it's not your place to judge your Chimp in terms of when it's offloading all of its emotional turmoil that it needs to and you need to listen to the chimp for as long as it takes and how long does it take you'll know because as soon as you stop speaking you'll feel calmer and you'll feel as if

I can now move on to the next thing and your human then takes charge remember remember remember the chimp just wants attention and if you don't give it attention it will creep back up in one way or another there's a Japanese or Chinese word I think it's Revenge bedtime procrastination and it clicked in my head the other day it's just the chimp that's all it's doing those moments when you self-sabotage or you get yourself into a rut or you procrastinate like we covered in the Rut video we did a few weeks ago self-sabotage is an

act of rebellion because in one way or another you've been tapping so far on the discipline equation that you've ignored your chimp and worse yet you've ignored that you need to nurture your chimp and then manage it so this is exercis in the chimp and realize that you might have to do this once a day for the rest of your life that's just the way it works you can't fight the rules of the brain remember when we covered the three things we were going to cover in this video one of them was you need to

understand the rules of the brain and accept them you have to accept that you're going to have to exercise your chimp whenever it goes Haywire one thing to note is the chimp doesn't always need exercis in sometimes you can do this too to much where you allow your chimp to be exercised and then it hijacks your behavior even more and you're thinking well what the hell it feels like I've awoken a demon so don't provoke the chimp by exercising it unnecessarily if logic is enough to calm it down if you have a mantra sometimes just

saying the Mantra is enough to put the chimp back in its box which moving into Point number three after you've exercised the chimp otherwise known as nurture in it you can then box the chimp when we box the chimp chimp not as in proper box but put it in a safe place where it feels secure we do so by looking at a situation Through The Eyes of the human getting facts from the situation because remember the chimp engages in black and white thinking for example if you're in the situation where you're not sure whether you

should leave your partner or not or end a friendship your chimp will look at the situation again in black and white and say I need to either leave or stay with this person but you can offset this put the Chimp in a box by engaging gray thinking where you look between the lines for example the human might then reason but the situation doesn't need a decision right now which is a great way to calm down your chimp the chimp when it engages in black and white thinking is just trying to fill in the gaps it's

trying to reach a conclusion so it can feel secure but Kickstart the Human by getting more facts from the situation to then box the chimp the way you can tell the chimp is trying to fill in the gaps is if you're having crazy imaginative thoughts about a situation and maybe your resentment is going haywire one thing I wanted to mention which I forgot to mention at the beginning is you might be thinking that the chimp is a bad guy all of the time hence we should just completely get rid of this brain region no because

the chimp is also responsible for things such as gut feelings which sometimes are right and the human in every situation isn't always right sometimes we need to R r on our gut feelings but most of the time we could do with kickstarting our human more and lastly the fourth way to manage your chimp is the banana of distraction I don't have yellow so it's going to have to be a red banana it's not really a banana but anyway let's imagine you want to start waking up early but every time your alarm goes off your chimp

reasons how cozy and warm it is under the covers so you stay put and you don't instill this new habit that you want to instill the way you can start waking up early in this situation is by giving your chimp the banana of distraction and what you do is when your chimp is emotionally reasoning with you about why you should not do something again through the sentence of oh we can't wake up early because I feel so cozy and warm under the covers count back from five and suddenly your chimp has something to focus on

So You Lie there in bed you're thinking about going back to bed just randomly count down from five and say you're going to get up on one 5 4 3 2 1 and instantly get back up the reason why the chimp goes Haywire is because it doesn't have something worthwhile to focus on so if you start to countdown when you're in that situation your chimp now focuses on the countdown and has a goal which has been directed by the human to give you a personal example for me each day I wake up and I do

two 90minut study sessions but halfway through some of the sessions my chimp is thinking oh I should check Twitter or oh let's listen to some cool music while we're doing this but in order to extract it I have to give it something reasonable that it would like so I have a cup of tea something to focus on and it gives my chimp the feeling of oh we now have something to distract us from all the other things we wanted to do give it a banana of distraction remember a banana that is reasonable you don't want

to be working and then suddenly say oh yeah chimp we'll go have some chocolate pretzels even though we're on a diet no negotiate with the chimp and find something that is good enough for the chimp and good enough for your human as well now essentially everything we've just covered there covers something called the neat framework n it's normal to have a chimp that outbursts sometimes and you won't always manage it well e you should expect this from time to time a accept that you're not perfect and the chimp is very powerful T take care of

the outbursts with appropriate coping and apologies if you hurt someone before we move on to the computer and finalize with some other bonus tips I just want to cover one thing about anxiety and one technique you can use to help you manage your chimp better one of my favorite things I've learned over the past few months is anxiety at the root of it is indecision so when we perceive a threat something that makes us anxious remember information always goes to the chimp first and what the chimp does is it will either make an emotional decision

or stay in the debilitating environment of indecision which then Sparks our anxious fight flight or freeze response causing more anxiety no decision is made so then it goes back to this indecision again however what you need is the human to just make a decision you can quell a lot of your anxiety by developing a fingertip feel for making decisions of course some decisions are harder to make than others but if you pay attention to this framework you'll understand your anxiety is just a reverberating mental Loop of focusing on the threat chimp interprets it can't decide

more anxiety can't decide more anxiety make a decision and the decision will help reassure the chimp and the last thing to note is that anxiety is a Perfectly Natural response from your brain and it indicates you have a healthy chimp okay and you might notice a particular theme here in terms of managing our chimp and it is selfawareness practice something called development time maybe you grab a j and you reflect on each day and you think how much did I operate from my chimp how much did I operate from my human again without judgment because

your chimp is always going to be present just judge your days based on your ability to nurture and then manage your chimp based on what we just covered now this finalize with the last Brain part we're going to cover the computer otherwise known as your peral lobe is the part of your brain which is essentially a command center it governs your knee-jerk reactions to things and it is the holding place for all of your beliefs habits and knowledge that you have accured over your life brilliant now I have to draw another brain this is the

computer this is the chimp this is the human the computer makes decisions 20 times faster than the human and five times faster than the chimp and the main things that comprise the computer are four things actually autopilots your positive beliefs goblins all of your bad habits and traumas and negative beliefs that you've programmed since childhood Gremlins these are still negative beliefs but they are much easil replaceable than goblins for example they are things such as unrealistic or unhelpful expectations and lastly you have the stone of life which is the record of your life's values the

truths of Life your mindsets and your purpose to program your computer so you flourish there are only two things you need to do you need to replace Gremlins for autopilots and you need to be careful in terms of how you interpret new experiences so that new experiences don't become goblins or Gremlins goblins why does that word make me laugh remember goblins those traumas and negative beliefs are hardwired whereas Gremlins are easily replaced and are more softwired to give you an example of a goblin let me introduce you to an analogy called the fridge door syndrome

the fridge door syndrome might have happened to you might not but what it is is let's imagine when you was a kid you had a day at school where you had to draw a picture for your parents and you come home and you say Mom Mom Dad look what I drew for you at school today and they turn to you and they say oh darling that is so fantastic you're so intelligent what I want to do is I want to stick this up on the fridge so the whole world can see how fantastic you are

what has this div of a parent just communicated to their child one thing your selfworth is dependent on what you achieve not on who you are because in another scenario what this div of a parent could have done is said I am proud of you regardless of what you do are you happy with the drawing do you like it okay I really like it it's something that I appreciate would you like me to put it on the fridge door much better and secondly cuz we do this to kids all the bloody Time by giving children

labels such as you are so clever you're so intelligent you're so fantastic what else are we subtly communicating to this child we are communicating that don't you dare try doing any anything new or outside your zone of comfort lest you are seen as not intelligent clever or fantastic anymore we don't praise kids for the effort that they put into things we praise them based on their achievements which just messes everyone up and guess what it creates a gobby Gob Goblin so to put this in realistic terms the kid grows up seeking external validation from others

and only feeling a sense of self-worth when they achieve things getting very passionate today right right what can we do about all of this if we are a victim to the fridge door syndrome we need to stop our chimp from Dancing With the Gremlins by replacing them with autopilots remember the computer is responsible for all of our knee-jerk programming and reactions to things however the degree to which we program our computer with autopilots rather than Gremlins determines whether we interpret experiences from our human or our chimp for example a gremlin for you which was very

much for me in the summer mentioned after I broke up with my ex-girlfriend and my chimp was going HeyWire I had the gremlin that I should be handling this perfectly however I had to diligently replace that Gremlin over a period of a few weeks with the autopilot of I can only try my best Gremlins are very easy to program into your computer however we can block it by diligently focusing on the thoughts we want to program into our computer now let me show you a list of what this looks like and by the way this

is life change in stuff it sounds very simple but oh man this has got me out of so many tough situations in life let's imagine you're about to socialize and you're feeling a bit socially anxious some Gremlins you might have programmed previously would be I have to make a good impression an autopilot could be I can only be myself and what they make of me is up to them I'm about to be judged they're going to meet me and whether they judge me or not I can't control I can only be me we won't have

anything in common it doesn't matter if we have nothing in in common I can always ask about them and listen and finally if I make a fool of myself I'll look stupid if I make a fool of myself it wasn't intentional what they make of it is up to them I can only be myself I still do this to this day hence I have a piece of paper somewhere here because I was thinking about my Gremlins the other day this is what I keep out at all times write up a list of the current Gremlins

that are holding you back and counteract them with the autopilots you want to program because you don't just magically think of these autopilot once and then they're programmed into your computer no you have to look at them every single day for a period of a few weeks in order for them to become automatic and steer you through the storm you're currently experiencing my ones at the moment are my brain is not my enemy my brain just wants what's best for me and my jeans sometimes it just needs a little guidance and channeling the pain I

feel today is the strength I feel tomorrow and I can't think my way into better action but I can act my way into better thinking what helped me Ste the ship and return to Stillness through that breakup which was the first one I ever experienced albeit I chose to break up with a girl but it was still tough was just keeping out a list of all the Gremlins I had counteracting them with the autopilots and I would wake up every single day no matter how I felt and I would read that list and what you'll

notice is as you start to program your autopilots more and counteract your gramlings your mindset changes and your mindset is nothing more than a collection of of your most fundamental beliefs so if you make your most fundamental beliefs positive and steering you in a good direction with your autopilots your mindset naturally shifts allow me to illustrate this change your mindset and you change your personality for example your poor self-image coupled with your belief that the world is hostile Fosters a unhappy personality which is also fueled by your social perspective that people were unfriendly imagine if

we changed this you believe the world is inher ly welcome in you have a good self-image Fosters your happy personality also facilitated by your social belief that people are inherently friendly take the programming of your autopilots seriously because from my experience I cannot tell you how much this will facilitate your growth in life coupled that with the management of your chimp find the autopilots that are true for you and remember Gremlins return so you must stay vigilant and the final thing for us to cover which is in the computer is your stone of life and

remember what this includes the truths of Life your values and your life force or your purpose now your values of course we've spoken about before on this channel but these are the collections of the things that are inherently meaningful to you for example some might be honesty Integrity strength just to name a few of course introspect and find your own values the truths of life life are the inherent beliefs of reality that you hold think about them as the most realistic autopilots you could program for example some inherent truths of life is life's not fair

the goalposts moveth and nothing is guaranteed and lastly your life force or your purpose is that thing which guides you towards your self-actualization and I am excited to tell you this next part because this changed my life if you are watching this video and you have no idea what your purpose in life is then I have an exercise to share with you that Professor Steve Peters taught me that will help you find this purpose instantly to figure out what your purpose in life is and what you should do with the remainder of your days imagine

you are 90 years old and you are on your deathbed and as you're about to take your last breath your great grandchild rushes through the door and says great grandparent you have lived such a fulfilling and meaningful life but I don't know what to do with my life what should I do your one minute instinctual response to that question is what you should do for the rest of your life write it down and stick it on your wall and the last thing to note about the computer which is very cool is if throughout your life

you're experiencing any sort of stress it's likely because you have programmed a should Gremlin in terms of how you should be dealing with a situation or how you should be feeling and the cool thing is as we've mentioned is these are very easily reprogrammed with our boys the autopilots Yi and to finalize this segment about the computer here's a little exercise you can use to help you facilitate the programming of it very simply you think of the ideal type of person you want to become then think about the type of person you currently are contrast

these two characteristics with a friend to help you gain a further perspective on it and then finally with that information simply highlight what Gremlins need replacing for autopilots so when you hear people on the internet talking about positive thinking and all of that stuff There's an actual process behind it to finalize let's outline how you can facilitate your growth in three key areas now understanding this information we've covered about mind management communication success and happiness first up communication now you understand what you understand about the human and the chimp you can start to look back

on some conversations you've had in the pass that got out of hand and realize what was happening two chimps were talking to each other so the best way to improve your communication skills with other people is to First speak through your Human by steering clear of the emotional rants you might get into in a conversation and bringing a more calm rational voice to the table which highlights an interesting fact about communication if you speak through your human it also invites the human out in the other person and vice versa when you speak through your chimp

number two adjust your expectations it's a difficult burden to throw onto other people of expectations that they didn't agree to so don't expect your partner to be a good artist if they can't draw for bollocks don't expect other people to have traits that they can't possess for example when you go back to your family gatherings you might realize that your family pries a bit too much in your personal Endeavors but they're really good listeners so it's a trade-off they're probably never going to change their behavior so adjust your expectations number three examine your prejudices when

we meet people for the first time we often base our first impressions on trivial things such as appearance or how they come across but notice the way you interpret other people might be a result of some Gremlins you've programmed in the past so pay attention to them and the last thing to know about the world of other people is are chimps need a troop think about it a chimp left alone in the wild is prone to Danger so he needs other chimps around him to facilitate psychological security so he can feel not only validated but

safe in his environment so choose your troop wisely those select few individuals you choose to trust and Foster a community with secondly moving into the realm of success the only thing to knowe is your chimp and your human want completely different things the chimp will view success in terms of money and power but the human will pursue things that are intrinsically meaningful such as is meaning and a sense of purpose in order to achieve your goals and to properly follow through on them there are only four things you need to pay attention to Commitment in

order to be more committed don't rely on emotional chimp commitment because this is fleeting and it will come and go instead rely on thoughtful human commitment by when you have a go in mind take a moment to think through all of the potential obstacles that could arise and put a management plan in place number two is ownership when we Fearless sense of ownership and accountability over what we're doing our chimp and our human work together to facilitate the project which highlights an interesting aspect about working with other people if you're working with other people you'll

need to calm your chimp by first understanding what is expected of you and second having clear roles with the people you're working with who's working on what and who is responsible for what otherwise your chimp will act out cuz it doesn't have security thirdly accountability the chimp will try to Sherk its responsibilities when it loses its emotional investment for something so in order to prevent this when working towards a goal instill manageable benchmarks for your behavior so you know when you're progressing such as deadlines and checkpoints which will let you know that you're on the

right path giving your chimp the feedback that this is worth doing and finally when it comes to setting goals you know the deal set tasks of just manageable difficulty because if it's too hard your chimp will act out and not even try if it's too easy you'll just stay in the realm of comfort you want to aim for just manageable difficulty let's go and finally before we move on to happiness we would be remiss if we didn't speak about carrots when it comes to success carrots are the things that motivate you to keep going and

in order to motivate your chimp to keep going in the direction your human wants it to go to you need to have a diverse range of carrots to motivate the chimp because the chimp is motivated by validation and praise so you need to celebrate sometimes in order to give your chimp the validation it wants now your carrots are the things that genuinely motivate you and they can be the small little checkpoints you throw in there for a celebration when you reach a milestone for me sometimes it's listening to music after I study or having an

extra bit of cheese with my steak find what motivates you and knowe that it's not a bad thing to occasionally let your chimp turn to your troop in order to get some valid because that is another thing that motivates it but only do that occasionally cuz it's a dangerous trap and finally let's have a little chat about happiness hey and how we can be happier now happiness is comprised of two key components confidence in yourself and security the only thing to know about confidence is your chimp will view confidence based on what it achieves but

what it needs is the human to override this to instill confidence in yourself based on the E effort you put in rather than the results you get from things because the chimp although it seeks its confidence in external results doesn't realize that by doing so it creates volatility because sometimes we get results and sometimes we don't you need to rely on your human to remind the chimp that we've already put enough effort in and that is where we get our confidence from because that is something we can control whereas the results are something we have

no control over if you're about to approach an attractive stranger because you want their number understand the number getting is a bonus as soon as your feet start walking towards that person you've already won because of the effort and lastly when it comes to security we understand this is what the chimp so craves but in its worst form this is what causes us to fear change because we see changes obviously uncertain and taking us out of that feeling of security so when you're in a stage in life when you're chimping is hijacking you and you're

resisting inner change again you have to rely on your human to sooe the chimp by doing one thing fear setting this is when you confront the things that are currently freaking your chimp out and you dissect them based on a table with free components as proposed by Tim Ferris you think about the things you're currently fearing and you put them in a table with free elements Define the fear prevent the fear and prepare for the fear for example when I was 20 I wanted to be a Bart tender even though I didn't drink alcohol because

it was a social job and I remember I started working in a restaurant that was really fancy it was like a five-star restaurant and I had never worked anywhere that high end before so I had a very big fear that I could spill a drink and everyone would laugh at me in order to prevent that I could say I can practice before my shift with my boss if it did happen the way I would prepare for it is I could say I can laugh it off and remind people that I'm new you might think what

if I run out of money if I go all in on my passion to prevent that you can search for a part-time job to prepare for it if it did happen you can move back in with your mom if that's an option when you confront your fears about risk you get your Chimp on your side because you calm it down and if you're honest about how you can prevent and Define your fears your chimp will work with you this is human work suen the chimp so in summary how the bloody hell am I going to

summarize this and now the blood H am I going to wipe all this whiteboard yeah the three most important brain regions for you to know about are the lyic system the frontal lobe and the peral lobe otherwise finally known as the chimp human and the computer starting with the chimp the chimp always receives information first and it's the part of your brain which is driven by the laws of the Jungle sex territory power food otherwise known as following its survival instincts to reproduce and survive it is much like a dog in the sense of if

you're walking your dog and your dog bites someone it's not your fault but you are responsible for the dog the four ways to manage your chimp are one nurture then manage remember the chimp is 10 times stronger than the human so trying to arm wrestle it is a bad idea for everyone involved nurture then manage exercise your chimp by taking it to a safe comound letting it out letting it vent for 10 minutes or however long it takes in order for it to calm down do not comment while it's vend in three then put your

Chimp in a box four distract your chimp when it's going haywire if you're struggling waking up in the morning count down from five and as soon as you finish get up give your chimp a task to focus on and remember the golden rule of the chimp if you are experiencing a thought or an emotion you don't want to be experiencing your chimp is hijacking you the human has a fundamental drive towards self-fulfillment and purpose it is the part of your brain which engages when you are engaging rational and logical thinking gray thinking in the laws

of society are what govern the human because it wants to flourish and it is what manages the chimp after it has been nurtured three the computer the peral lobe it processes information 20 times faster than the human and five times faster than the chimp and it is the storing house in your brain of all of your beliefs values perspectives and mindsets otherwise known as autopilots your positive beliefs your Gremlins your easily reprogrammable negative beliefs and unrealistic expectations and your goblins your traumas and hardwired beliefs that are very difficult to change these three things govern your

mindsets based on how you see yourself how you see the world and how you view other people your stone of life so your values the truths of Life otherwise known as The Realistic autopilots of the beliefs that you have of the world that govern your behavior and your force of life or your purpose remember the grandchild technique moving on to the three aspects that we covered at the end communication speak through your human to facilitate better communication adjust your expectations of others so they're not unrealistic and manage your Prejudice also one thing I forgot to

mention when someone else is having a go at you or is emotional understand that their chimp is speaking and allow their chimp to exercise itself and then revisit the conversation by speaking through your human after their chimp has calmed down success the four aspects of success are commitment ownership accountability and goals understand your human and chimp will want two different things so your chimp will want external validation money and power your human will want self-fulfillment and purpose and lastly happiness happiness is comprised of confidence and security to feel more confident make sure you place your

confidence in your efforts rather than your results to avoid volatility and security your chimp has an innate need for security so do the fear setting exercise whenever you are worried about something stay disciplined playful and dangerous