Answering Real Questions You're Too Afraid To Ask Your Mom 😱 Indian Girl Talk

hello hello my lovelies welcome to the first ever TMI Girl Talk video on this channel thank you so much for your questions I know that these are questions you probably cannot ask your mom your sister or your teacher especially in a country like India so we are going to answer them today but a disclaimer we got a ton of questions and they were from multiple different categories so what we're going to do is make different videos for each of these categories instead of just combining like 200 questions in one video secondly this video is going

to be about feminine health and hygiene sex and intimacy and relationships and I'm trying to Encompass questions that will answer a lot of the questions smaller questions that people have all right so go ahead grab your headphones grab a cup of coffee or tea and let's get started question number one how to remove pubic hair and what is the best way to do so so there are several ways to do this you can trim you can shave you can wax uh people are also getting lasers nowadays I'm quickly going to tell you the pros and

cons of everything so you can make a well-informed decision right uh trimming is the most hygienic and the most non-invasive plus it is also the most recommended because it's not recommended to remove your pubic hair completely it's there for a reason it helps protect your vaginal Health your vaginal microbiome so if you're keeping yourself clean down there it's advisable to just trim it and not remove it completely but if you're the kind of girly who likes it absolutely cleaned out down there then shaving waxing and Laser are all decent options depending on your pain tolerance

and depending on what you feel most comfortable with with shaving there is a risk of cuts and burns because you're doing it yourself the blade might be sharp you might slip there might be a different angle Etc all of those things and when hair comes back after shaving it's coarse because the hair down there is coarse and that can sometimes cause itching it can cause rashes it can cause like this uncomfortable Sensation that a lot of people don't tend to like waxing on the other hand is painful up front because while you're removing hair from

the root but a lot of people who get waxed down there like it because the hair grows back more slowly so you have a lot more time plus it's not as uncomfortable when hair grows back as compared to shaving and finally you have laser hair removal I personally don't know anybody who has gotten this done for pubic hair but you can definitely go get a consultation at one of these clinics like Kaaya cosmoda Etc and just get a sense of what it entails from what I can understand it is also painful because it's essentially like

burning your hair follicles uh but it slows down growth tremendously so that can be a good thing if you are somebody who likes it really really clean out there hope that answers your question question two how to get rid of foul smell from the vagina girl if you have foul smell down there please go consult a gynecologist so you have to understand that some amount of smell from your vagina is absolutely normal and that is not something that you need to be ashamed about or worried about or get conscious or insecure about because everybody has

it everybody smells a little different but it's bodily fluid it is bound to smell but if your normal smell becomes different if it suddenly changes if it becomes more pungent if it is accompanied by other symptoms like itching or rashes please go consult a gynecologist because those are signs of infection like yeast infections vaginosis tricomoniasis things like that which are not pleasant to have and the longer you delay this the more difficult it is going to get to treat and that is not something that you want so please go get tested and in the meantime

make sure that your underwear is absolutely clean that you wash it regularly you keep yourself clean down there and uh somebody asked what to do if they can't dry their underwear out in the sun you can either use a dryer or you can iron your underwear after you have washed it to get rid of any additional bacteria and you should also consume probiotic rich food and probiotic supplements because they really really help maintain the vaginal microbiome somebody asked in the previous U feminine hygiene video as to how oral supplements or consuming probotics orally help with

the vaginal microbiome and the answer is actually that there's actually transference into your vaginal microbiome from the rectal mucosa so that's new information and too much information but that's what this video is about question three how to prevent UTI infections and rashes are there any protocols to prevent STDs or sexually transmitted diseases now udis can happen for a variety of different reasons U unhygienic underwear not cleaning yourself properly down there dirty toilet seats Etc even sex can cause UT and once in a while getting them is okay you just want to go to your guyc

see if she prescribes medication or if it can be treated without medication in most cases don't take UTI lightly even though they can happen for a variety of reasons but if you are getting them super super frequently that could signal a deeper health issue and again you need to consult your doctor for that you should not be getting U very frequently right either you are doing something wrong or your body is unable to fight off infections generally in the downstairs area in addition to this you always always want to go pee after you have sex

or intercourse because there's a lot of transference of bacteria from your rectum area to your vaginal area and that can cause U so always always pee after sex always clean up before and after sex I'd recommend you wash your area with soap and water like mild soap and water whatever it is that you use to wash down there uh before and after sex and this actually prevents a lot of that bacterial transference from happening in the first place and really really helps a lot of women prevent U eyes when you pee wipe from front to

back and always wash wash and wipe after you pee that's non-negotiable somebody again asked this question is it mandatory to do this every time you pee yes it is uh if you want to prevent infections if you want to prevent moisture if you want to prevent udis please do this swipe from front to back not back to front staying hydrated really helps cranberry supplements have actually shown to help improve your vaginal health and prevent UTI so it's a preventative measure you can take it from time to time and see if it makes a difference and

avoid holding urine avoid holding your PE because the more you hold it the more bacterial buildup happens in the blader and that can cause infections further on and that's not something that you want now coming to STDs or sexually transmitted diseases the only way for you to prevent them is to make sure that the partner that you are intimate with is tested for STDs you are tested for STDs and you always use protection no matter what because STDs cannot be transmitted without sexual contact and if somebody else has it and you are not using proper

protection there are very high chances that you can also get STDs and that's not something that you want question four I have been feeling really insecure about darkness in my vaginal area what can I do to lighten it oh my God the number of people who sent this question and I honestly did not know that this was an insecurity or a thing in India as well in the west it's very very prominent thanks to the pawn industry but in India I did not know this was the case girls it is very important for you to

understand that it's absolutely normal for your area down there to be dark to be pigmented one because of hyperpigmentation in the cells around there there's a lot of melanin production in the cells down there that is why it's darker than the rest of your body and second there's a lot of friction that happens that causes those cells to produce more melanin and that's absolutely okay nowadays I saw ads for like vaginal lightening creams and cosmetic procedures that help you lighten that area please do not waste your money on these and please do not let your

insecurities get the better of you you do not need to bleach yourself down there to feel pretty in your own skin and if somebody if a guy is making you feel less than because you are dark down there F them they're free to go you do not need to waste your time on them if somebody can be bothered about that first ask them to look at themselves down there but I still understand that insecurities can be a huge part of how we feel about our vagina our vaginal health so what you want to do is

first stop watching artificially enhanced women online on social media models Etc anything that is making you feel less than stop it stop watching it and second you just wanted to make sure that any darkness that is down there is not because of a medical issue right which is why you need to do self-examinations regularly need to know what your vaginal area looks like use a mirror if it helps and just do frequent checkups like once every 3 months or whatever just to ensure there are no you know dark patches that are getting darker there's no

sudden new mold development things like that just to ensure that it's not because of a medical issue but besides that having a dark groin area is absolutely normal actually everybody has it anybody who doesn't have it has gotten it artificially enhanced and you don't need to worry about it question five how can I take care of my vaginal Health while traveling or living in a hostel the first thing you want to do is always have toilet sanitizing product on you so this can look like toilet sanitizing spray uh PFE has a really great one even

harpi has a great one now if that's too expensive you can actually just use detto mix it in water wash the toilet seat before you use it wipe it with like normal tissues or toilet paper and then use it and for while you're traveling you can also keep toilet seat covers they are generally very cheap they're like paper things that you can put on top of the toilet seed before you use it so all of these help prevent transference of bacteria from the seat on to you next you don't want to share toiletries obviously don't

share your soap don't share your loofah your towels of course your underwear I have heard of instances of people's underwears getting stolen in um hostels so make sure that you dry them in your room and then you iron them to remove any sort of bacterial buildup and while you're traveling especially you want to keep hygiene products at hand so intimate wipes because these help even if you don't have water around you sanitized menstrual cup and tampons because these can go from directly from the pack to inside you and there's very little risk of contamination as

opposed to pads and of course a change of underwear question seven how to find a good gynecologist for a routine checkup and what to ask a gyac okay so I found my gyac through a Google search what you want to do is look for gynecologists in your area and look at the Google reviews of these doctors the one that I started going to had great reviews from young women who said she's not judgmental she's is very open to talking to youngsters she gives you information you know very nicely all of those things and that's how

and I ended up finding her so yeah Google search and Google reviews Google locations actually for the win you can of course take recommendations from your friends from your family members who are closer to your age and of colleagues in office who have gone to gyx and probably will have better [Music] recommendations a huge shout out to my muse for sponsoring this portion of the video I'll talk more about them in relevant questions question one does sex or intimacy for the first time hurt is it a myth or is it true well the truth is

that everybody's experience is different for a lot of women they absolutely don't feel any sort of discomfort or hurt or pain down there when they have sex for the first time a lot of women do experience some sort of discomfort it's more like pressure as opposed to pain and there is also a a percentage of women who experience pain when they are having sex for the first time but that being said there are things that you can do there are steps that you can take to eliminate that discomfort and to ensure that your first time

is not painful because it should not be it should be pleasurable not painful so the first thing you want to do is ask your partner to engage in foreplay to spend sufficient time in foreplay because that helps the the vagina get naturally lubricated and when that happens Things become a lot smooth down there and there's not as much friction and that actually decreases the instances of pain and the chances of discomfort plus when you indulge in foreplay it also relaxes your vaginal muscles making penetration a lot easier as opposed to if you were not aroused

to begin with and if you're really concerned about being well lubricated down there when it is your first time using a waterbased lubricate like this Glide from my muse can be really beneficial because it will provide that extra lubrication that will make uh penetration a lot easier it will reduce a lot of that friction enhance the discomfort and the pain and also ladies just so you know if it hurts you down there if it bothers you when you are having sex please ask your partner to stop please do not just go along with it to

make somebody else happy even though you are in discomfort and in pain question two how to use Lube I'm married with two kids and yet I don't know about Lube usage first of all it's completely okay if you don't understand what Lube is what Lube usage is because these are terms that are fairly new to the Indian subcontinent which is why I'm partnering with a brand like myam because they're India's first personal Wellness brand so coming to what exactly is a Lube or a lubricant a Lube is something like this it's a gel or a

liquid that is basically used to ease some of that friction that happens during sex and proper lubrication can prevent a lot of that pain like we just discussed it can prevent unwanted friction because unwanted friction can lead to rashes or soreness for women later on and that's not a pleasant sensation to have so lubs essentially can eliminate a lot of that discomfort and make it a lot more pleasurable a lot more Feelgood for both men and women now there are several different types of Lubes or lubricants in the market there's water-based ones silicone based ones

and oilbased ones so out of these water-based ones like this one like Glide are the most versatile they're the most compatible with forms of protection like condoms they're also the most compatible with personal massages like Groove and they're the least likely to cause irritation right A lot of people can be allergic to silicone they can get allergic reactions to oilbased uh lubricants but that does not happen in most cases with water-based lubricant so if this is your first time ever using Lube I would recommend that you go ahead with a water B is lubricant as

opposed to oil or silicone based ones and when it comes to the usage you just need to take out a few pumps apply it to your general areas while you're in the process of having sex and that's it job done one note really quick make sure you do a patch test before you use any sort of lube just to ensure that you are not allergic to it or it's not causing any sort of reaction question three how do women orgasm I didn't have it when I had sex for the first time so unlike men who

just need that one single motion to achieve an orgasm women actually orgasm in multiple different ways and most women fun fact actually don't achieve an orgasm through penetrative sex so it's completely normal that you didn't achieve an orgasm during your first time for most women it does not happen right away it takes a little bit of familiarity takes a little bit of getting to know the other person to actually achieve an orgasm along with someone now the most common way that women orgasm is through clitoral stimulation clitorus is the this part outside the vagina that

has thousands of nerve endings actually millions of nerve endings and is highly highly sensitive and responsive to arousal to stimulation and when you go through foreplay when you are having sex the clitoris is what gets stimulated the most so first understanding how you like your clitorus to be stimulated through hand movements through personal massages like breeze from my muse can really really help here now Breeze here actually mimics a suction motion which is what would happen to you if somebody was to go down and orally stimulate the clitorus through sucking on it it just does

it with like 10 different speed settings so it gives you an idea of what you personally like and when you figure that out that becomes very easy for you to convey to your partner and actually to achieve an orgasm all by yourself as well it's also important to know that women require both to be aroused and to be relaxed to actually achieve a state of orgasm so it's very important for you to have a partner who understands this and is willing to take things slow to help you also get there question four I've never had

sex but the idea of penetration makes me feel so weird or gross and possibly painful so like we have discussed pain is a possibility but it's not the only possibility but besides that feeling grossed or weirded out by the idea of sex especially if you've never had sex is completely normal and more so for women than for men most of the times it stems from a lack of understanding of your own body and a lack of understanding about what sex entails what is it that goes on behind the curtain so it's really important that before

you decide to get intimate with someone before you decide to drop the ball that you educate yourself about what sex really entails it does not have to be painful it does not have to be weird it does not have to be gross and at the same time you also continue exploring your own body figuring out what it is that you find pleasurable what it is that you like doing how do you like to get aroused how do you like to get stimulated because only once you understand that will you be able to communicate it with

your partner and only once you know your body well enough you will not feel weird or grossed out by it disclaimer please do not take your information from porn it's highly unrealistic that is not what normal sex looks like it gives you a very unrealistic expectation of what it's supposed to be like do not get your information from there get it from educational articles and videos like this and also you do not have to have sex with someone unless you are 100% certain that you want to have sex with them right don't get pressured into

doing something that you don't want to do that being said there's also something called asexuality which is a sexual orientation and it basically describes people who have no desire to have sex they are weirded out just by the concept of sex or people who just don't have any sort of sexual attraction to anyone so that is also a complete possib if sex is something that weirds you out conceptually you might want to look into that and research asexuality a little bit to figure out if you fall in that category question six I often mix up

sex with affection and Care sometimes if I indulge in casual sex I regret it but I feel like I need it it is completely normal to seek connection through intimacy through physical intimacy but at the same time you need to identify why this is happening why is it that you associate affection and care with just sex why not something else so I would highly recommend that you do a self-reflection journaling exercise where you ask yourself these questions dig deep into why something is the way it is why you associate affection and care with sex was

it something in your childhood how does it affect you you know at present what are other forms of affection and care that you need in your life to not make this Association and at the same time I would highly highly recommend that you seek out therapy especially with a therapist who has experience in Intimacy in subjects like this to get to the root cause of the problem and figure it out from there because that can really really help you create more positive associations and reduce these associations that make you mix up these feelings as for

casual sex we see a lot of it these days and some people are completely okay with it I personally feel like you are giving away a lot of your energy a lot of your time a lot of your vulnerability away to someone who potentially doesn't really care about it who is going to forget that this ever happened but it is still going to end up leaving an imprint on you in some way shape or form even if you're not attached to this person there's this book called the body keeps score and on reading it I

sort of realized that any sort of physical experience that you go through not just sex just in general any physical experience that you go through can have a lasting impact on you psychologically mentally so that might be something to consider but that being said a lot of our stigma around casual sex comes from the way Society handles Casual Sex and the way that we make it a taboo if it was not a taboo you would probably not feel as much of a regret so if you have had these experiences if you have had casual sex

encounters you have to take these as experiences that have made you the person that you are and then move on to decide what you want to do going forward instead of sulking and regretting it because it's already done and there's nothing you can do to change it so you might as well learn something from it move forward and apply that learning to the rest of your life coming to question number seven how to convey to my partner during intimacy to keep things slow and enjoyable instead of rushing you have to talk to them there's no

two ways about it you can't expect them to read your mind and especially men uh the way that they learn about sex and the knowledge that they gain about sex comes from a very different place so for them to understand women's bodies they need communication you will need to communicate to your partner how you like things and please don't think think that it's going to kill the mood or whatever you know Jazz that we build up in our own heads that's not the case just make sure that the language that you use while you're communicating

these feelings are you know soft warm tones so that it doesn't feel like you're judging the other person for it and also if you still feel awkward you can actually use a lot of these games that have come up now which are like these intimacy playing cards my muse has a lot of these and you can do these like playing card games before you start your intimacy session and that helps you become more comfortable with the other person that breaks a lot of that icy awkwardness and that way you can actually communicate to them what

you like in bed instead of having them guess what you like question eight as a newly married couple what can we do to create intimacy and increased pleasure since we are both busy first of all congratulations for starting this new journey together this is a beautiful time for both of you and how you approach intimacy right now will actually determine how you approach Intimacy in the future future moving forward now the first thing you need to understand is that intimacy is not just the stuff that happens in the bedroom intimacy is a connection that you

have with your partner and that can't build that can't happen unless you know your partner well enough so I would ideally suggest that you schedule dates with each other ideally every week where you take our time once in a week to go on this date with each other where you dress up for each other where you do things and try new things and experiences with each other so that that helps deepen your connection secondly you want to focus on small acts of affection every single day so you know peex on the cheek or peex on

the lips before going to office greeting each other embracing each other spending time touching each other when you're back from office and when you're back from work when you have free time together doing things and activities like watching TV together so that that helps deepen your connection as well and of course trying new intimate experiences with each other so like using personal massages like this on each other using intimate playing card games with each other using other accessories in the bedroom things like that that just help you get into the groove make it more fun

instead of making it like this thing that you both have to do but you don't know how to and that helps break the iciness that also helps you deepen your connection and it also helps both of you figure out what are each other's preferences and what are the things that you actually like doing in the bedroom question nine how to enhance intimacy and sexual Wellness in long distance relationships now maintaining physical Intimacy in long-distance relationships becomes difficult because well you lack that physical touch that is like the Cornerstone of physical intimacy but things that have

helped couples that have spoken to are regular video chats and you know doing naughty stuff on video calls so that it keeps that spiciness alive sending each other pictures of yourself make sure you are safe on and it's not on the cloud and you're doing it via apps that just making sure that your pictures are not getting in the wrong hands is what I mean to say another thing is being open about your feelings and communicating how you're feeling communicating when you feel aroused communicating when you're thinking of them asking them to indulge in foreplay

through texts through chat through video calls that also helps a lot and while you're doing that you can use personal massages or remote controlled massages to actually stimulate each other to build that sort of intimacy to have fun together to have that relationship despite the fact that you're not in physical proximity and of course of course there's the regular stuff which is planning visits as frequently as possible seeing each other as much as possible communicating as openly as possible and despite being a part just doing things for each other that make you guys feel good

so maybe you know ordering their favorite meal in another destination or sending them gifts or sending them things that make them think of you or sending them things that make you think of them hopefully that helps question 10 does having frequent sex make your partner lose interest it should not in fact it should deepen your bond so if your partner is losing interest communicate talk to them and figure out why is that happening most likely intimacy is not the cause there can be a lot of other reasons why people lose interest in relationships but intimacy

ideally should not be one of those reasons and girl if this is happening because you got intimate with somebody else and he's cheating on you that's a different story and it's time to move on from that relationship and if you still feel feel that things are getting a little monotonous you want to spice things up in the bedroom get Innovative use games toys massages different sort of accessories to make things enjoyable for yourself and your partner and all of this is obviously available on my muse doing this basically allows you to expand those boundaries a

little explore each other in new ways in new and interesting ways and then obviously keeps things interesting question 11 can women get UTI or STDs even through to a single partner well U have nothing to do with your partner you can get them from a dirty toilet seat or a dirty underwear as well but that being said they also occur a lot of times for women after they have sex after sexual intercourse because there's a transference of bacteria from your rectal region to the vaginal region and that can cause Like A disruption in your vaginal

microbiome So to avoid that it's highly recommended that you pee after you have sex and that you wash up the area before and after you have sex so that you can minimize the transference of those bacteria and uh you can practice safe sex also make sure that you and your partners hands are clean before you get into this so as to avoid contact with a lot of drums uh coming to STDs or sexually transmitted diseases yes it is possible to get STDs even from a single partner especially if your partner has had relationships before you

obviously and they have not gotten themselves tested so before you get intimate with someone before you get into this space I would highly recommend that you communicate with them that you talk it out with them and that you both get tested so that you know that you both are clean if there is something you can take medication for it obviously and sadly one of reason that you might get um STDs from a single partner is if your partner ends up cheating on you and Contracting SD from another person then there are high chances that they

give it to you as well which is why regular checkups and regular blood work for STDs is really really important coming to question number 12 going through to different menstrual phases sometimes we feel more aroused and masturbate is that okay and are there any side effects of masturbations okay very cool Point yes during different phases of your menstrual cycle you will have different levels of arousal so women typically feel the most aroused when they ovulate and a little after ovulation because that is the period when their body is releasing all of those hormones that make

them want to indulge in this because their body is preparing for pregnancy and that is completely normal masturba is completely normal I know that there's such a taboo around this a taboo around touching yourself and you know feeling yourself and uh making yourself achieve an orgasm that does not need to be you know everybody does it people just don't talk about it because they're not comfortable talking about it but everybody touches themselves and it's absolutely completely normal to do so as for side effects no you will not get pregnant from masturbation no it will not

affect your period no it will not affect your hormones the the only con of masturbation is that if you do it with like unclean massages or unclean hands it can cause utas and if you are overly relying on it and this is more of a problem for men but still I want to raise awareness so I'm going to tell it to you if you are indulging in it too much and especially if you are using porn as a means to get aroused it can lead to addiction over time so that is something that you just

want to be careful about Studies have actually shown that masturbation is actually healthy because it helps release endorphins so it reduces stress it helps you sleep better it also reduces feelings of anxiety depression all of those things and while you can obviously use your hands there are so many personal massagers like these lubricants in the market that you can use to pleasure yourself to get to know your body better and that's completely normal it's safe to do if you're above 21 these are things that you can purchase just make sure that you're cleaning all of

your stuff and your equipment properly in your store in it neatly safely so that you don't get infection from contamination and now coming to the final question in this section I'm a teenager and sometimes I crave physical touch so much I have no boyfriend though it's hard is there any solution so 16 is about the time when your puberty hormones are at their Peak so it is completely natural to feel aroused it's completely natural to feel sexually attracted to the opposite gender or even to the same gender depending on what your sexual Orient M ation

is and sometimes this hormonal upheaval can get so much that you end up taking risks that are not worth it risks that can impact your health risks that might end up getting you pregnant and might put you in the path of emotional damage and that's not what I want for you so instead of letting your hormones rage and rushing to find a boyfriend I would recommend finding healthier outlets for this energy that is built up so what I would recommend doing is actually channeling this energy into other things things so that this is not the

only thing on your mind first thing is of course physical activity of any sort so swimming Sports dance anything that makes your heart rate go up anything that makes you sweat can be a very very great outlet for all of this pent up sexual energy it can really help you channel that energy secondly you want to use things like weighted blanket and body pillows to provide you that forth or the comfort of like physical Touch without having to rely on somebody else to give it to you I would recommend that you wait a few years

till you become emotionally mature enough to handle a relationship to make a boyfriend so that the physical intimacy part is not the only reason that you're in it and that you actually have the emotional maturity to handle things that happen in a relationship and to have the physical intimacy part of it hopefully this helps and I'm going to keep this one quick and short because we are already I think 30 minutes into the video question one how do you deal with being 30 and unmarried how do you tackle your parents' expectations of marriage so I

am also a little over 30 and unmarried and the first thing that comes to my mind when somebody asks me about marriage Etc is gratitude that I am not stuck with a person that I don't love I'm not stuck with somebody who does not appreciate my value and I still have uh the power to make my own decision and U I am immensely grateful for that so I would recommend practicing a little bit of gratitude for the freedom that you still have secondly I would want you to start putting yourself out there a little bit

uh just to experience different things in life not be bogged down by and start seeking out experiences that make you feel fulfilled to help yourself understand what you like ideally what you want to do is focus on fulfilling your own needs focusing on fulfilling the needs you have from a partner by yourself one just to get to know yourself better and two to set a standard for anybody who comes into your life to ensure that you are not just getting married or getting into a relationship because you feel like the clock is sticking or you

feel like there's a certain age by which you should have settled down so when you get clear on what you want out of life what you want out of a partner and when you start fulfilling those needs by yourself you automatically start attracting more of that in your life and also you set a standard that somebody else will have to fulfill if they want to be your partner and that helps you manage those expectations because that tells you that you won't just settle for anyone as for your parents expectation of your marriage if you have

willingly decided not to get married up until this point I would recommend having a conversation with them and explaining to them why this is your choice ultimately they also want your happiness and if you explain to them this is what is making you happy and you don't want to settle for a partner who is less than who will not value you for who you are I hope that they will understand you and if you explain to them that you don't want to settle for a partner who will not appreciate you for who you are they

will hopefully listen to you they will hopefully be on the same page it's so much better than being unhappily married to be happily single and that is a concept that they need to understand I know that for a lot of parents it takes a while to get familiar with this to get okay with this some parents may never get okay with this concept but if you are clear on something you do not need 100% of your parents sey right if you're financially independent if you can take care of yourself you don't necessarily have to listen

to them about marriage especially if you know that you can choose a partner for yourself question two I always attract emotionally unavailable men what to do look in Word Girl do some self-reflection because a lot of the times that we attract these kind of people is because we have not done the inner work and we continue to treat ourselves like trash and that signals to other people that it's okay to treat us like trash right so if you don't hold a safe space for your own emotions other people are going to pick up on that

they're not going to hold a safe space for your emotions so emotionally available men are not going to be attracted to those qualities so the first thing you want to do is figure out are you treating yourself the way that you'd like a man to treat you are you giving yourself princess treatment are you holding a safe space for your emotions are you putting yourself up on that pedestal where you want to be as a girlfriend if you're not doing all of those things for yourself you are probably self sabot aaging and actually signaling to

other people to treat you the same way so that's where you start and the second thing you want to do is make a list of qualities that you want in your ideal partner so sit down do some self-reflection take a week to go through all of the qualities all of the qualities that you want in your ideal partner stick them somewhere so that they're visible and the next time you get into a relationship and the next time you a guy approaches you you measure him against those qualities if he does not fit the bill you

are not going to go out with him you are not going to get into a relation ship with him so that is how you solve the issue of again and again attracting similar kind of men into the relationships that you have question three what if I don't want to get married is it okay to never be married but family members say that girls must be married yes it is absolutely okay to never be married in today's day and age marriage is a choice earlier it might not have been the case but in today's day and

age yes it is and 100% you can stick by your own choice now there are some things in society that might not change that might never change societal pressure for women to get married might take a lot of time to change so if you want to stick to your own decision of not getting married and if you don't want to be pressured into making decisions like getting married you need to build agency agency is basically building enough of Independence that you don't have to rely on outside sources to make decisions for yourself how do you

build agency by building Financial Independence and by building emotional Independence now Financial Independence is the easier part of the job because you need to learn how to earn money you need to earn enough money that you can do things independently and then make decisions accordingly that's how I have done it the more difficult part is emotional Independence because that means that you need to let your Clarity of thought and let your own sense of self sit on top of how you are emotionally connected with other people this takes practice it and a lot of videos

I have made on emotional Independence on how to you know build your own agency so you can go check those out but uh it takes practice it takes a little while to be able to get to a point where you are not emotionally dependent on your parents on the society on other people in your family to be able to help you with decisions if you're able to do that you can easily go ahead and stick to the decision that you've made instead of getting influenced by what other people are saying so it's a little bit

of a long route but once you are able to do both of these things it'll be very easy for you to convince your parents that you indeed don't want to get married and they can't pressure you into doing so question four is it okay that a girl never has a sexual experience or never has sex uh I read somewhere that it's not good for a woman to not get pregnant if she's pregnant she'll be more healthy or something like that the passion with which I hate people who spread misinformation like this is just up here

yes it is completely okay for women to never have sex yes it is completely okay to never be pregnant there are some studies that suggest that you know getting pregnant might reduce risk of cancer or heart disease but you know what what will reduce risk R of cancer and heart disease eating healthy staying fit that will reduce your risk more than any other thing and on the other hand getting pregnant is associated to more health risks than not getting pregnant is right so if you get pregnant you are at a risk of autoimmune diseases because

you are giving away a lot of the resources that your body is needing you get vitamin deficient you are at the risk of postpartum depression and stuff like that so you at a lot more health risks if you get pregnant please remember that women are not child producing machines at least in the current day and age you do not have to get pregnant and you do not have to have sex if you don't want to if somebody's forcing you into doing these things that's actually a crime and you can report them coming to more positive

questions number five how do I know that he's the one personally for me I look for a couple of different things one is how well do my values align with this person right uh when it comes to looking at things in life decision making careerwise talking to parents having Mutual relationships how we handle conflict all those things are values do my personal ways of doing these things align with this person and secondly do they hold space for me emotionally am I feeling safe with them do they make me feel safe secure emotionally stable are are

they giving me that space so if a person matches both of these parameters for me I would easily happily say that they are the one so you actually have to figure out what your personal criterias are for a partner and does the person you're with fulfill those criteria so like I said in the previous Point get clear on what you want out of a life partner if somebody is fulfilling those criteria they're the one question six what are the things that we should expect in a healthy relationship so there are so many different things that

should be there in healthy relationships but my top five are one a mutual respect emotional support open communication trust and honesty and equity and equality in terms of sharing the load burden and sharing resources question seven if you're in a relationship is it necessary to get physical or is it completely okay to not get physical the fact of the matter is that it's okay to do what you feel comfortable doing as long as your partner is also on the same wavelength right so if you don't want to get physical and you're with somebody who doesn't

mind not being physical then it's completely okay but if you are somebody who does not want to get physical but you end up being with a partner who values you know physical intimacy who values sex all of those things you need to have that conversation with them and it's not fair to that person that you don't want to get physical so you are better off being in a relationship with somebody who also values the same thing as opposed to you being with somebody who wants that other thing but they are compromising to a huge extent

just to you know settle with you in the moment in the future that will lead to problems invariably because for a lot of people physical intimacy is a need it's a requirement to be in a relationship so if you are with somebody who is okay not having that then great for you if not have a conversation with them and possibly end things because they might not be the person for you question eight I love myself but sometimes I feel like I need a guy in my life just because you love yourself does not mean that

you don't need companionship as simple as that self love and companionship can both coexist in fact in most scenarios they do sometimes the people we love help us love ourselves better and that's completely okay you can love yourself and still crave companionship and that's completely normal and it's completely okay don't feel weirded out about it and that wraps up today's Girl Talk video the number of times I have had to charge my camera and my mic it was just a mess so this video has taken a lot of effort to film but I really really

enjoyed filming it for you guys I had a lot of fun actually doing this so let me know in the comments if you want other girl talk videos I'm going to do a lot of other videos but if you want other girl talk videos let me know and if you have more questions regarding the answers that I give feel free to leave them in the comments and I'll be answering comments very diligently so that was it for this video you guys I will see you very very soon with another one till then take care and

keep smiling