My Stepbrother Insisted That I Leave The House During My Stepfather's Burial...- Reddit Family

my stepbrother insisted that I leave the house during my stepfather's burial believing it was his until the will revealed otherwise 38-year-old Jake never imagined I would be getting ready for the burial of my stepfather memories sweep back like a tidal wave as I sit here organizing old pictures and planning death seems to cause one to consider a lifetime of events both positive and negative at 9 years old my mother Sarah married Richard my stepfather the wedding day seems to me like yesterday mom looked lovely in her basic white outfit hope beaming in her eyes for

a fresh start Richard on the other hand seemed to be stressing his auster attitude by wearing a black suit even on what ought to have been a happy occasion he insisted on a solemn demeanor that I would come to know all too well over the years Richard was a rigid man right from the beginning particularly when he turned to face me he always seemed to be permanently frowning often I questioned whether he simply had the means to relate to a child who wasn't his own or if he harbored resentment at having to assume the position

of stepfather growing up with Richard was not easy from my grades to my wardrobe to even how I handled my Fork at meals he attacked everything I did you need to work harder or this cruel world will chew you up and spit you out he said almost daily looking back I wonder if Dad was attempting to equip me for life in his own flawed manner even if at the time I believed he was just being nasty his rigidity permeated every sphere of our life I had to sit up straight use the proper fork and only

spoke when spoken to during family get together any departure from his expectations was greeted with a stinging stare or a harsh correction family vacations which ought to have been lightharted and Leisure F were more like military drills than pleasure excursions Richard would schedule everything down to the last minute Heaven Help Us should we stray from the plan One Vacation I recall we missed a turn and arrived at a museum 15 minutes late for the rest of the day Richard was in a terrible mood grumbling about lost time and inadequate preparation everything changed 3 years following

the wedding when my stepbrother Michael was born Richard suddenly had his own son and it was obviously clear whose favorite was he poured love and compliments on Michael Richard's smile was unlike anything I'd seen till he held his newborn kid it revealed a part of Richard I never knew existed like a switch had been turned on I was envious and Furious when I was 12 years old I couldn't comprehend why Michael received all the love and attention while I just got harsh looks and criticism the difference was clear and agonizing Michael's achievements no matter little

were honored with great celebration even if they were notable my own successes were greeted with a nod and a remark on how I can improve next time Mom would try to reassure me when I protested to her about the unfair treatment Richard loves you too Jake she would say her eyes begging me to understand that's just rough love he wants you ready for the world still it didn't feel like love to me it seemed like continual disappointment as Richard saw me always failing our family Dynamic changed in ways I never would have predicted throughout the

years mom became ill at 25 and we all gathered around her Richard stayed stoic even then but I sensed compassion when he felt nobody else was looking when mom thought I wasn't in the room I would observe Him Softly changing her pillows or crutching her hand it was the first time I understood that Richard's lack of affection could have been more a result of his personal constraints than of his sentiments for us two years later mom passed away and it felt as though the glue keeping our family intact had broken tears and quiet prayers defined

the funeral Richard stood like a monument all through the service his face a blank mask though the wall between us seemed some indication of approval from the guy who had been my father figure for most of my life looking after Richard in his latter years was difficult fighting the restrictions his aging body placed on him he was as tenacious and critical as always there were days when our conflict was so thick you could cut it with a knife but occasionally too I felt short Sparks of thanks in his eyes like the time I stayed up

all night with him during a sick attack or when I learned to make his preferred Foods as he grew too frail to stand at the stove himself those were uncommon events though and most of the time I felt as though I was looking after a stranger who happened to live in my house we were living in a tense truce neither of us entirely sure how to close the distance that had widened between us over years Richard's character made me never even consider entering a relationship or getting married I wanted none of the same issues I

was experiencing for my wife or girlfriend to confront Richard's gone at 65 taken unexpectedly in the evening from a heart attack everyone is showing their respect as I get ready for his burial Michael arrived with Emma and their children Lily 5 years old and Max 3 years old I hadn't seen him in years until now though he seems older and more austere I recall from our early years that he exudes entitlement about everything the funeral was a depressing event I stood there listening to people talk about Richard a fantastic man who always placed Family First

a pillar of the community and I wanted to find fun in the irony of it all knowing the same man I did did they to me the Richard they describ seemed to be a stranger Michael drew me aside as folks were farting once it was all over I considered that perhaps he wished to assist each other in our sadness to reconnect or to share memories of our childhood rather he delivered a startling blow that left me whirling so about the house he said his voice laid back as though we were talking about the temperature I'll

need you to leave by the end of the month not sure I glanced at him what are you talking about he groaned and cast an intentionally obtuse glance at me clearly the house dad turned it over to me ultimately I am his genuine son you never imagined he would leave it to you I thought of myself as having been gutle pounded this was how it turned out all these years of trying to be the son Richard wanted and of looking after him part of me wanted to fight for what I felt I had earned over

years of conscientious living but another side of me the one still feeling like that 9-year-old lad yearning for affirmation wanted to withdraw fine I answered my voice empty I'll be out by the end of the month not only for Richard but for the family I never really had for the bond I had always hoped would grow between Richard and me but never did as I watched Michael walk away arm around Emma kids running ahead that evening I began packing among boxes of memories I wasn't sure I wanted to save sorting through years of accumulated belongings

I couldn't help but wonder whether Richard had been right all along sometimes you still ended up with nothing to show for it the world was harsh update I sold out of my childhood house a week ago for now mom's sister Linda is here with me trying to decide what to do next thinking about Michael and how we got here I lie awake at night staring at the foreign ceiling Michael obviously was the preferred child growing up Richard doed on him in a way he never did with me from the time he was born birthday celebrations

with all his friends invited new toys just because please smiles when he brought home a good report card all things I had longed for but never received I recall one birthday Michael was around 8 years old Richard hired a whole arcade for his buddies and himself at the time I was 17 and couldn't help but contrast it with my own birthdays which often featured a quiet meal and perhaps a small gift but Michael aged and something changed the sweet little lad who used to follow me about wanting to play developed into a depressed adolescent who

appeared to hate everything and everyone he started to treat me like I was invisible and spoke angrily back to our parents it was like seeing a stranger seize my little brother's body one specific occasion comes to mind when he was around 16 Richard asked us about his marks when we were having dinner Richard asked us both this kind of inquiry all the time it was a regular one Michael burst this time though he began screaming about how he despised living under Richard's control and how sick he felt of the pressure he bolted from the house

slamming the door so fiercely a picture fell from the wall Richard seemed to be sitting there looking older and sadder than I had ever seen him instead of the angry man I had anticipated to pursue Michael and drag back Michael's Behavior just became worse as he Grew Older he began courting a series of girls each relationship ending Haily late nights missing curfews and shouting battles with Richard that rocked the home abound I tried to keep out of it but the continual stress would inevitably affect me Michael laughed it off when Richard tried to discuss respect

and Duty you can't control me anymore he would say and Richard would get this expression a mix of Wrath and despair that I had never seen before then arrived the day he turned up with Emma as his bride not even Among Us knew he was seeing someone seriously let alone getting ready for marriage walking in with Emma little more than a teenage herself he said they had eloped I shall never forget Richard's expression for once he was silent mom tried to calm things down and welcome Emma into the family but the air was clearly charged

Richard seemed to be straining to keep his cool and to find the proper words to speak to his kid Emma claimed she wanted to live free from family meddling apart Michael thus packed his luggage and left simply as that he pledged to visit and keep in touch but those pledges soon dropped off the list weeks became months devoid of his communication his calls were always quick and often tinged with conflict I assumed definitely he would come back when mom fell ill but he did not he asked her periodically how she was doing but always had

a reason for why he couldn't visit work was hectic the kids were sick the car was in the shop something was always there hoping it would be Michael I recall sitting next mom's hospital bed and seeing her eyes flash every time the phone rang more usually than not it wasn't it was me who had to phone mom to let her know she died he sounded very offended full of regret for not visiting more frequently he claimed he would try to make it to the funeral but ultimately he did not show up just a flower arrangement

delivered to the funeral house accompanied by a card offering his sympathies feeling his absence like a physical hurt I stood at the burial wondering how we had become so far apart and right now here we are not motivated by love or obligation The Prodigal Son returns for what he can gain thinking about how he swooped in and grabbed the house acting as though he had some right to do so when he had left us years earlier makes me enraged I consider all the evenings I spent seeing to Richard all the doctor's visits I accompanied all

the meals I made and all the expenses I paid and for what to be thrown aside just like I never really mattered at all but my phone calls as I'm staggered in these terrible ideas it is Mr Thompson Richard's attorney telling me he has to talk about something vital he sounds serious and ask asks me to come back to the house tomorrow uncertain on what to believe part of me hopes there's a mistake and maybe I won't have to abandon my house after all knowing how let down I have been in the past another side

of me is terrified to Hope I wonder what tomorrow will hold as I hang up the phone whatever it is I am clear one thing this is not going to be easy I toss and turn the remainder of the night my head Ablaze with possibilities something so crucial that Mr Thompson had to see me personally Richard left something for me after all is it conceivable alternatively is this only another letdown in a long run of disappointments feeling like a stranger I stood before my childhood house the next day to my astonishment Michael's car was also

in the driveway already breathing deeply I entered the familiar Creek of the front door sent a pulse through me sitting at the dining room table Mr Thompson had a stack of documents before him there were Michael and Emma as well clearly agitated with his demeanor unreadable the attorney motioned for me to seat down down seated well aware of the tension in the room thank you all for coming he said with a firm businesslike voice I know this is a tough period but there are some crucial issues about Richard's will we should talk about Michael slanted

forward a smug grin on his face let's wrap this up I would want to start right away as I have plans for this home Mr Thompson cleared his throat seeming uncomfortable we should really talk about that Richards will states that Jake has been left the house and in fact all of his possessions the room went still for a time I felt as though I couldn't breathe had I heard him precisely after all these years of believing I was never good enough Richard had left everything to me the first to react was Michael what he yelled

leaping to his feet so fast his chair dropped backwards that's not possible real son of his father is me he wouldn't hand everything to Jake Mr Thompson stayed cool under Michael's rage I'm rather worried it's rather obvious Richards will specifically says that Jake is to inherit all of his possessions including the house his savings and his personal items what I was hearing defied belief it seemed illogical those years of criticism of feeling as though I could never measure up and now this Michael was pacing now his face flushed with rage this is nuts when he

composed this he must have been insane I'll dispute it I'll bring this before court Mr Thompson gave a headshake that is not what I would counsel Richard prepared this will rather carefully he included a letter outlining his choice and had it attested and notorized challenging effectively would be quite difficult Michael turned to face me his eyes flaming with resentment you did this did not you you somehow Twisted him against me still in disbelief personally I raised my hands about any of this I knew nothing I assumed he was forwarding everything to you before things could

get much more heated Mr Thompson stepped in if I may I think Richard's letter might help to clarify his choice pulling out an envelope he started to read to his sons should you be reading this I am gone though I hope I can clarify I know your two may find my choice shocking I have made lots of mistakes over my life among my largest was not treating both of my sons equally in terms of love I expected too much from Jake was too demanding never showed enough affection and I treated Michael too kindly I never

said appropriate limits or imparted any lessons of value as I considered my life in my last years I came to see something crucial a real son is defined by Behavior rather than blood and in that sense Jake behaved as a real son ought do he stayed with me through trying circumstances and looked after me even when I didn't deserve it all the traits I attempted to teach but failed to show myself patience kindness and responsibility he exhibited I am so leaving everything to him not as a punishment to Michael but rather as a tribute to

the kid who really embodied the ideals I cherish I hope you both have the compassion to see and pardon the errors of an elderly guy the room went still once Mr Thompson closed his book tears came to me a lifetime of feelings Rising inside me all those years I felt Richard didn't care that he considered me a disappointment but he had been observing noting valuing in his own unique sense Michael froze momentarily his face a mask of shock and rage then he silently seized Emma's hand rushed out slammed the door behind him his automobile started

up and ran out of the driveway the last Act of Disobedience was a Screech turning to me Mr Thompson wore a gentle grin I know this is a lot to absorb Jake he continued Richard expressed his preferences quite precisely he wished for you a safe future free from Financial concerns I nodded still not sure I understood exactly what had transpired thank you I managed to say I need some time to consider all this Mr Thompson stopped as he neatly folded his documents there is still one more item your stepfather left you a personal note as

well you read it in private he questioned he gave me an envelope with my name written in Richard's recognizable handwriting on it I took it knowing that within our words I had waited a lifetime to hear with shaky hands I sat by myself in the quiet house flipping the envelope in my hands after Mr Thompson departed At Last I plucked the wheel to open it and read Jake dear though I know I've never been excellent at communicating my emotions hopefully this letter will help to offset some of my faults I'm glad of the man you

have evolved into though I failed as a parent I had a challenging upbringing and never taught appropriate affectionate Behavior I reasoned that the best way to equip you for life was to be rigorous and challenge you I regret the suffering I caused you now I understand I was mistaken particularly in these last several years your compassion and commitment have shown me what actual strength and integrity look like you now more than ever reflect the guy I always dreamed you would be I apologies for not telling you these things when I was living with my last

wishes and this letter maybe you will have some peace and protection remember yourself son you are deserving of all the joy available love Richard tears came down my face as I closed the book all those years of feeling inadequate of thinking Richard didn't care and now this was overpowering over the next days I battled to make sense of everything once a cause of stress and bad memories the house felt different now it belonged to me in a deeper sense as much as legally it was evidence of Richard's affection sincere have spoken too late Michael hasn't

gotten in touch since he Departed started that day not sure whether he will though I know it will take time part of me hopes we can reconcile someday the pain is still raw and our distance seems more than it did years ago I have given family the complexity of love and the numerous ways people show it a lot of thought though often harsh Richard's love was sincere it was flawed in his own sense he was working to equip me for life and build my resilience though I wish he could have discovered a softer approach I

now better understand him regarding inheritance it goes beyond just money and real estate one has responsibility Richard trusted me to continue on his legacy and to live the ideals he loved although it's a difficult work I'm resolved to meet expectations I have chosen to create a scholarship fund in Richard's name from a portion of the bequest it's for children from difficult situations so they may have the education and chances they might otherwise miss taking the teachings he imparted on me and paying them forward seems like the proper approach to honor his memory I'm still trying

to make sense of everything as I sit here now in the house that turned unexpectedly into mine Fathers and Sons have a complex relationship marked by frequently unsaid feelings and misunderstandings Richard and I never had the relationship I wanted when he was alive but his last act has given me an opportunity to better know him to see the love always there buried under the surface I wish dad had told me these things during his lifetime we could have had talks cleared the air perhaps even created the relationship I so yearned for but life does not

always provide us tidy ends or flawless closure right now I'm concentrating on respecting Richard's memory by practicing the ideals he sought to inculcate in me work hard be conscientious and most importantly love those who matter I'm glad to be carrying on a legacy looking ahead I experience a range of emotions sadness for what was lost thankfulness for what I have and hope for what is to come Richard's unexpected Legacy has given me a fresh perspective of family love and forgiveness in addition to financial stability though I never expected it this is a new chapter in

my life and I am ready to face it bearing with me the lessons of the past and hope for a better future that might ultimately be the best inheritance of all thank you for watching if you haven't subscribed yet please do so and hit the notification Bell to stay updated with more shocking real life stories happening around you