Stop Playing With Yourself!

I have worked a lot with people who are trapped in pornography and want to be free I would love your advice here two questions one would be why should young men quit porn and then what's your advice to young men who feel like it's just inevitable like I start started when I was young I've tried all the tricks and tips I don't know how to stop I keep promising myself I'll stop only to go back like dog vomit so first why should they think about quitting Porn first of all CU well no one ever quits

anything they replace with something better okay right right I mean that's so let's say alcoholism let's start with alcoholism well why do people drink well if you like alcohol that's a stupid question like I really liked alcohol it was pretty bloody obvious why I drank why well it made my social relationships feel closer yeah it woke me up it quelled my anxiety and it knocked out the part of my mind that was concerned with future consequences so it was like impulse City so like you don't need explanation for that and some people are particularly susceptible

to that alcohol effect I had a friend colleague named Frank Irvin back at Mcgill and he had a monkey Ranch on St kits green monkeys verit if I remember correctly I think that's what they are and he'd feed them rum and coke 5% of them would drink Tacomo on first exposure okay right 5% it was like alcohol just like Barney Gumble in The Simpsons where have you been all my life right well so how do people quit drinking well no treatment centers work really no but people do quit the most reliable cure for alcoholism is

religious transformation and that's been known even among the secular what would you say psychiatrists for like 80 years well what what happens when you decide you're going to do something other than drink okay okay you got to get rid of all your friends cuz all your friends are drunks right you got to get rid of probably a fair chunk of your family all of your social habits are wrong every single one of them everything you do that isn't work that's alcohol rated that's your life all that has to be replaced you need a replacement so

I would say to young men who are listening to this podcast for example if you want to stop Eng engaging in a self-destructive impulsive and juvenile habit whatever it is make plan we have a program online at selfauthoring.com called future authoring it's like it helps you make a vision so you're ashamed of yourself for some reason that's why your conscience is calling at you you know you're taking the easy way out okay what's what are you being called to why are you plagued by doubts about the appropriateness of your Behavior well because something is beckoning

to you well what an unrealized Vision so in the future authoring program people are asked to okay so here's the deal it's like a covenant here's the deal five years from now you can be who you would like to be and you can have what you need within the bounds of Reason M if you specify it so if you could be who you would like to be and if you could have what you think you need in principle what would that look like well that starts to you start specify targets so we say well write

it down for 15 minutes don't get too self-critical just think you know we ask questions who do you admire and why you know and what do you think you need and why and what would you want if you could have it then we have people do the reverse okay now picture yourself 5 years out and you've let your bad habits take full control but you're 5 years older right that's so look like well it should be scary like what's your little what's the little hell your whims are aiming at so what are you you're the

you're the 35 year-old creep at the at the what at the bachelor party who's still involved with pornography who still has the mind of a 16 year-old and he getting kind of perverse around the edges because everything he watches is getting a little more brutal right you're that kind of scum rat creep that's your destiny you want that think about it think about exactly what sort of hell you'd involve yourself and you know you bloody well know where your bad habits are likely to some people end up on the street some people that end up

women end up as hookers there's there's addiction there's pimping there's what there's like brutal cynicism there's lots of Hells you have yours you can be sure of that where your Temptation would lead you you want to think that through and decide if that's where you want to go and then when you're tempted you can think oh that's a pathway to hell maybe no right you need both of those that's why in the archetypal realm the the moral landscape is anchored with heaven and hell you need something to run the hell away from yeah right cuz

that avoidance motivation all that negative emotion that's really useful okay like anger's part of that too you want to have that behind you damn right you want your fear you want Satan behind you pushing you forward right exactly not in front of you barring your way but there needs to be something to run to well that's the other thing is that gives you incentive pleasure and that's exactly what drugs do that's also what pornography does like technically technically you experience a dopaminergic release in relationship to a goal and all the drugs of addiction produce dopaminergic

release all the bad habits right you got to replace that well with what movement towards a valid goal well what's your goal well then we ask people in the program it's like okay what do you want a relationship like if you could have what you wanted what would it look like think about it Vision it Envision it imagine it let it reveal itself to you right how would you like to structure your friendships what would you like to do to put your family in order you know how would you aim with regard to your career

how would you educate yourself how would you take care of yourself mentally and physically assuming you were you know trying to do what was good for you like you liked yourself which is a very difficult thing to pull off you know how could you serve your community flesh it out also a massive thanks to hallow for sponsoring this podcast hall.com matf frad is where you want to go if you want to try out their entire app for 3 months for free it is an absolutely fantastic app they actually have all of my audio podcasts on

there right now so you can listen to them over there they have Catholic Loi meditation amazing stuff hello.com frad to get 3 months for free hey thanks so much for watching this clip if you want to watch more clips of me with Jordan Peterson click these videos somewhere here on this screen