Stepson Kept calling Me a “Gold Di**er” Even When I Am the One Who is Supporting His Father and...

stepson kept calling me a gold deer even when I am the one who is supporting his father and paying for everything I 42f have been married to my husband Henry 45m for 4 years he has a 19-year-old son Levi from a previous marriage when Henry and I first got together he was going through an extremely difficult time after unexpectedly losing his job of 15 years his confidence and self-worth were pretty low and his low savings had been wrecked by a Long messy divorce from Levi's mother I couldn't bear to watch the man I loved suffering

so much after only a brief discussion I insisted Henry move into my house so he could get back on his feet without the stress of rent I helped pay off the mountain of debts he to crude bought him a used but reliable car so he could get to job interviews and made certain he never once missed a child support payment to Levi's mom when Levi lived with her it wasn't a handout but an investment in building a future together as partners even after Henry eventually found steady work again I continued paying the Lion Share of

our living expenses since I had a lucrative career as a senior marketing executive I never once resented Henry for this arrang we were a team in my eyes and I knew he deeply appreciated all I did to keep us afloat during those tough years Henry was a proud man someone who believed strongly in being a provider but he swallowed that pride and accepted my help so we could build a strong relationship and maintain stability for Levi however his teenage son Levi took an immediate intense disliking to me from the moment I entered their lives he

fiercely resented my presence when he was already angry and feeling displaced after his parents divorce at 15 Levi was in the throws of adolescent angst and anger and desperately needed a target for those roiling emotions I became that Target the home wrecking [ __ ] he accused of trying to replace his saintly mother and the gold digging [ __ ] he was convinced had trapped his father in her clutches it wasn't that bad at first because he only came over during the weekends but when Levi turned 17 his mother moved to Jamaica to live with

her family there and Levi totally refused to go with her he had a distorted view of African countries despite being half- African Henry didn't seem to mind agreeing that his son couldn't possibly live in the backwaters of Jamaica when Levi first moved in I tried to show him the beauty of his culture in Jamaica Google was free in Henry's foolishness and encouraging his dislike for his home country disgusted me but Levi took my interest in showing him information about Jamaica as an attempt to get him to leave I swear it was not after a major

argument where he threw our boiling hot dinner in my face I stopped refusing to mention Jamaica or his mother anymore as the years passed no matter how hard I tried to forge a connection with my new stepson Levi violently rejected every Olive Branch I learned to cook all his favorite comfort meals showed up to cheer myself horse from the bleachers at his basketball games and spent countless patient hours helping him navigate the college application process but he just pushed me away harder with each attempt you're not my damn mom you're just the [ __ ]

spending my dad's money Levi would sneer at me cruy ignoring the fact that his father was only scraping by because of my steady paycheck Henry hated any sort of conflict and while he certainly didn't approve of Levi's blatant disrespect his tiny attempts at discipline was a hey now Levi be nice to your stepmom as you can guess it did little to curb his son's vicious Behavior I think any criticism of Levi that I brought up felt like rubbing salt in the wound of Henry's own perceived failure of being a terrible provider for his child so

I picked my battles carefully biting my tongue until it bled to keep a fragile piece even as Levi's put Downs grew worse when Levi turned 18 and finished high school I thought it was time he started paying some type of rent if he wanted to continue living at home to be clear my home his father agreed and we charged him a pittance compared to Market rates for our area but we hop taking on the small responsibility would help Levi start maturing into an adult instead our request was met with a temper tantrum as Levi insisted

it was my house so I should be covering all his expenses to stay with his dad to be fair he worked a few hours a week at a part-time minimum wage job but blew every cent of his tiny paycheck on the latest video games and weed after several long months of Levi shirking even the most basic household chores skipping out on his cheap rent coming home at all hours wreaking of pot and hurling a constant Litany of insults my way I was truly at my wit's end but his disrespect to me reached a new unimaginable

height last Tuesday I was frantically scrambling to get ready and out the door for the biggest meeting of my career a critical pitch to land a massive new client that my marketing firm had been looking into for months I needed to get to the office at least an hour early to prepare my presentation rushing out to my car my stomach dropped through the floor when I saw my normally spotless vehicle completely covered in smashed eggs and dripping rolls of toilet paper across the windshield gold digging [ __ ] was scrawled in shaving cream then as

I drew closer in horrified disbelief I noticed that all four of my tires had been slashed Levi stood off to the side with his arm smugly folded openly smirking at his vile handiwork I saw nothing but red years worth of repressed resentment came flooding out of me in an uncontrollable torrent of Screams and anger I tore into Levi calling him every variation of an ungrateful lazy spoiled brat that my mind could make I raged at the sheer audacity of him constantly disrespecting me when I worked myself to the Bone to fund his freeloading lifestyle and

keep a roof over his father's head I was absolutely done walking on eggshells in my own home and it was high time for him to grow the hell up and join the real world I gave him 30 days to find himself a new place to live telling him that I am not his personal ATM anymore and I'm sure as hell finished putting up with being disrespected and degraded in the house I pay for I gave him the ultimatum while shaking with blinding rage before storming back inside to frantically call a cab to get me to

my meeting by the time I managed to clean myself up and rush to my meeting I was nearly 30 minutes late and still completely out of it my pitch was mediocre at best and the clients just stared at me with cold skepticism I left the meeting unsure if I had managed to salvage the deal back at home Henry tried to talk me down insisting that while Levi's addictive vandalism was totally uncalled for I had flown off the handle and gone way too far in my reaction he pleaded with me to be the bigger person reminding

me that this was still Levi's home to and we couldn't just throw him to the curb deep down I knew Henry was terrified of pushing his son away for good but I held firm to my position I was utterly done tolerating such blatant abuse and disrespect from Levi I told Henry his son needed to face real adult consequences for his actions or he'd never learn Henry then told me that if I kick his son out he'll leave with him it devastated me that my my husband refused to present a united front or understand that I

was being bullied in my own home by his son Henry refused to sleep in the same bed with me that night and it broke me I am convinced I have just destroyed my marriage by drawing such a hard line but I can't see any other choice so readd it it's okay to be harsh just let me know am I really the [ __ ] here update one wow I didn't expect this to blow up like it did thank you to everyone who took the time to read and comment even if we didn't always agree I

figured I'd post an update to clear some things up and give more context a lot of you asked about our financial situation to be clear the house is 100% in my name I bought it before I even met Henry the car I got him is also in my name but I don't even care about that he needs it more than I do as for our bills I've been paying the mortgage utilities groceries and Levi expenses like clothes and school stuff Henry chips in when he can but it doesn't even cover half the costs I've never

thrown it in his face though because that's just not me some of you said I should have set firmer boundaries with Levi from the start you're probably right I guess I just wanted him to like me so bad that I let too much slide I didn't want to overstep since I'm not his real mom you know but I see now that I should have demanded basic respect from day one a few people asked why Henry can't get a better paying job the truth is he's always struggled with work even before we met he has some

health issues that make it hard for him to do manual labor and he never finished college but he's a good man and a hard worker when he's given a chance I just wish he'd stand up for me more oh and for those saying I should just kick Levi out already trust me I've been tempted but he's still Henry's son and I could never put that wedge in their relationship My Hope was always that we could work through this as a family reading all your responses made me realize this situation is even more messed up than

I thought I've been so focused on keeping the peace that I've let myself become a punching bag that ends now I'm going to have a serious talk with Henry tonight either he backs me up in setting clear rules and expectations for Levi or I'm done being disrespected in my own home wish me luck I'll keep you posted update 2 hey everyone I'm back with another update I wish I had better news I sat down with Henry like I said I would I laid it all out how Levi's Behavior was totally unacceptable how I couldn't keep

living like this and how I needed his support in setting boundaries at first he seemed to get it he agreed that Levi had crossed a line and promised to talk to him but then Levi got home and the conversation went sideways fast he started in on his usual crap about how I'm not his mom how I'm ruining his life yada y I kept my cool and firmly told him his options either shape up and start contributing to the household or find somewhere else to live well apparently that was the wrong thing to say Levi lost

it saying he couldn't believe his dad was letting some [ __ ] kick him out of his own house I looked to Henry expecting him to take my side like we agreed and that spineless man just sat there staring at the floor I snapped I told Levi it was my house my rules and if he didn't like it there was the door he stormed out screaming about how he was leaving and never coming back and we'd regret this good riddance but it wasn't over Henry laid in me saying I had no right to kick out

his son that I was tearing apart his family I reminded him that I was his family too or supposed to be he said he couldn't deal with this right now and left I don't know what to do still I'll keep you guys updated update three so my last update was 2 days ago Henry has been crashing at a friends ignoring my texts meanwhile Levi's been blowing up his phone playing the victim I feel like I'm at my Wit's End there's a part of me that just wants to give in to swallow my pride and beg

them to come back home I long for things to go back to how they were even if it means keeping my head down and my mouth shut just to maintain this illusion of a happy family but there's something I haven't shared with you all something I've kept hidden out of fear and embarrassment you see I have Pacos polycystic ovary syndrome it's a condition that affects so many aspects of my life but most importantly it makes conceiving a child naturally a real challenge I've always dreamed of being a mother of holding a little piece of myself

in my arms but with each passing year and negative pregnancy test that dream has felt more and more Out Of Reach when Henry brought Levi into my life it was like a Beacon of Hope in my struggle with infertility here was this beautiful intelligent boy who needed a mother's love I guess a part of me clung to him as my chance at motherhood even if he didn't share my blood I poured all the love and nurturing I had into him hoping that maybe just maybe he could feel that aching void in my heart I was

afraid that if people knew about my condition they would side with Henry see me as less of a woman or less worthy of being a parent I worried they'd think I was using Levi as a substitute for the child I couldn't have on my own but the truth is my love for Levi was never a replacement or a consolation prize it was real Fierce and unconditional the way a mother's love should be even now after all the heartache and disrespect those maternal feelings haven't wavered when I tell you I love Levi like my own I

mean it with every fiber of my being letting him go drawing these boundaries it feels like I'm ripping out a part of myself the thought of losing him of losing this chance at being a mom is almost too much to bear but I also know that I can't keep living like this can't keep sacrificing my own well-being and self-respect for the scraps of affection they toss my way Picos may have made my path to Motherhood more difficult but it doesn't make me any less deserving of love and respect for my partner and my wouldbe child

so as much as it hurts as much as I want to cling to this dream of family I've built in my head I know I need to Stand My Ground for my own sake and for the sake of any future children I may have whether they come from my own body or through the boundless love in my heart I need to show them that it's okay to demand respect to set boundaries and to walk away from those who can't give us the love we deserve I don't know what the future holds I don't know if

I'll ever get to be a mom or if Henry and Levi will ever truly see and appreciate all I've given them and a bigger part of me is just damn tired tired of being taken for granted disrespected and treated like an outsider in my own life so now I'm sitting here alone in the house I paid for wondering where to go from here I know I was hard on Levi but what choice did I have I love Henry but I'm losing respect for him by the minute why am I fighting so hard for people who

clearly don't give a damn about me I don't know know what the future holds all I know is I deserve better than this I deserve peace in my own home I deserve a partner who stands by me I'm done setting myself on fire to keep others warm thank you for letting me vent and for all the tough love and support I'll post a final update when I figure out my next steps I know it's going to be hard but I have to start putting myself first they're welcome back if they can get with the program

but I will no longer set myself on fire to keep them warm update four well it's been a hell of a ride first off I want to say how much all of your comments and messages have meant to me even the tough ones you've given me a lot to think about it's been a few weeks since everything blew up Henry stayed away for about a week ignoring my attempts to reach out I was starting to think it was really over but then he showed up at the door tired and sheepish we had a long brutal

talk probably the most honest we've ever been with each other he admitted that he'd been avoiding confronting Levi because he was afraid of losing him like he lost his ex and knowing it's hard for me to conceive Levi could end up being his only child but he said seeing me standing up for myself made him realize how much he had to lose with me too I told him I was done being the bad guy done being disrespected and unappreciated if we were going to make this work things had to change he agreed as for Levi

he's still staying with Friends Henry laid down the law if he wants to come back he needs to get a job pay rent and treat me with basic human decency no more freeloading or temper tantrums we'll see if he steps up I'm not going to lie it still hurts I poured my heart into this family and a lot of days it feels like it was all for nothing I know I can't change the past all I can do is move forward with clearer boundaries and a stronger sense of self-worth Henry and I are taking things

day by day rebuilding trust and figuring out what our new normal looks like it's not perfect but we're trying he's picking up extra shifts and has started chipping and more around the house baby steps talking about babies I haven't been feeling too well even prior to the entire issue so I took a pregnancy test two days ago you know those drugstore types and it was positive so yay Henry is excited but I told him to pipe down those tests are wrong sometimes I don't know if the hesitation is for me or for him he has

scheduled a doctor's appointment for next week part of me doesn't want to go what if the test comes out negative and I got our hopes up for nothing Henry understands and he's not pushing me to take the test so I'm grateful for that but I told him not to cancel the appointment while I try to build up courage to go for the test right now to keep my mind off it I'm focusing on my own happiness for once I've taken up yoga to calm my mind it's not helping to be honest but still I have

to wait I think I'll ask Henry to push the test back by a week I don't know I'm just scared but still I guess what I've learned from all this is that you can't pour from an empty cup and that setting boundaries isn't selfish it's survival I gave and gave until I had nothing left for myself never again so that's where I'm at still very much a work in progress but aren't we all of course I know some of you will say I'm a chump for giving Henry another chance and maybe I am but I

got to do what feels right for me I still love him Flaws and All as long as I don't lose myself again I think we've got a shot final update hey everyone it's me again I know it's been a while since my last update a month as a matter of fact but a lot has happened in the past month and I want to fill you all in first off thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your support and advice through this whole crazy situation so where do I even start I guess with

the biggest news as I already hinted at I took a blood test to confirm it and I'm truly pregnant the doctor said everything looks good so far but it'll be a high-risk pregnancy because of my age I'm equal parts thrilled and terrified but I'm taking it one day at a time Henry is over the moon about the baby I think it's really put things in perspective for him he's been doting on me non-stop waiting on me hand and foot it's sweet but I've had to remind him that I'm pregnant not helpless we've been talking a

lot about the future and what kind of parents we want to be we both agree that we want to raise our child in a loving respectful home no more walking on eggshells or tolerating bad behavior from anyone which brings me to Levi after our big blow up and him storming out he couch surfed with friends for a few weeks Henry laid down the law and said he couldn't come back until he got a job agreed to pay rent and promised to treat me decently well I guess that dose of the real world was the wakeup

call Levi needed he called Henry after a couple of weeks crying and apologizing for everything he said living on his own made him realize how much we'd done for him and how awful he'd been especially to me I was skeptical at first but the kid really seems to have turned a corner he got a full-time job job at a warehouse which he hates but it's a paycheck he's been giving us money for rent and groceries without us even asking and he actually sat me down and gave me a sincere apology for all the crap he's

put me through over the years I could tell it wasn't easy for him to swallow his pride like that we had a long talk about why he' acted the way he did a lot of it was hurt and anger over his parents divorce that he unfairly took out on me he said he knows that's no excuse and he wants to do better I told him that I forgive him but forgiveness doesn't mean a free pass to go back to Old Habits he started joining us for dinner a few nights a week and the atmosphere in

the house is so different there's no more tension crackling in the air we're actually able to laugh and joke around together the other night he even offered to help me start setting up the nursery I know we still have a long way to go but it feels like a fresh start I won't lie and say everything is perfect now Levi still has his moments of teenage moodiness and Henry and I don't always see eye to eye but we're working through it as a family and me I'm finally putting myself first I'm taking care of my

body and my baby I'm leaning on my friends and focusing on the things that bring me joy like getting the nursery ready for the first time in a long time I wake up excited for the future so that's where things stand a month ago I thought my whole world was falling apart but now with a baby on the way and my little family coming together I've never felt more blessed to all of you who followed my story and offered support thank you truly your kindness has meant the world to me here's the new beginnings Second

Chances and always standing up for ourselves I'll raise my non-alcoholic glass to that sheers friends