TEDxGoldenGateED - James Doty

I grew up with a father who was an alcoholic and a mother who was an invalid and my family was on public assistance my entire life when you grow up in a situation like that you feel like a leaf being blown by an ill wind it's interesting though even at that age I saw people in positions of power wealth position influence who looked at those suffering and did nothing paradoxically I interacted with people who had nothing and did everything it's interesting that even at that age I was not angry at those who did nothing I

felt sorrow for them growing up in an environment which many of you have discussed of poverty of desperation of hopelessness that often times takes the life and the spirit from an individual I was fortunate as many of you know by having an impact on the youth an individual had an impact on me when I was 13 I walked into a magic shop the owner wasn't there but his mother just happened to be there and her and I began a conversation and after about 30 minutes she said to me you know I like you she said

if you come back here every day for the next six weeks I am going to teach her something that could change your life and I had nothing better to do so I showed up and during that six-week period she taught me a mental practice of mindfulness a technique of visualization some positive thinking and that interaction was transformative it took me from the position of being a victim to one of understanding that the choices mind my life were not those of others but my own that intersection that transformation changed my perception from being a victim to

being in charge of my destiny that allowed me to finish high school go to college go to medical school become a neurosurgeon and a successful entrepreneur as an entrepreneur I thought though that what I wanted most was money because when you grow up in that environment you believe that money gets you influenced and gives you control I was chasing the chimera the emptiness that I felt was not going to be filled by money happiness was not going to be given to me by money it was a delusion in six weeks during the.com crash I lost

tens of millions of dollars and was effectively bankrupt but I had a golden opportunity I had made commitments to charity and I wanted to live up to them so the only asset that I had was stock in a company that had yet to go public of which I had been the CEO I chose voluntarily to give that away to live up to that commitment that company went public at 1.3 billion dollars and it allowed me to give tens of millions of dollars to charity but what it really did what it liberated me the thing that

I thought that I wanted the most I was free from and realized that that is not what makes an individual happy it is serving others and being compassionate that is what will give you lifelong happiness the Center for compassion and altruism research and education is a group of scholars and academics and scientists who look at the underpinnings of compassion and altruism and how those can benefit other individuals I suggest to you that our suffering and our pain are manifestations of wounds of our hearts every one of us has wounds but for most of us those

wounds heal quickly and are superficial but for many of us some of those wounds are very deep and caused pain throughout our lives it is not that we have the wounds because that is our lot as humans it is how those wounds and that pain affects our behavior and defines our humanity and ultimately defines our fate and our collective humanity every one of us has the ability to impact another's life the work that we do at seek care is to look at ways in which we can impact others because we know and have seen that

being compassionate benefits individuals by improving their health their cardiovascular it boosts their immune immune systems and ultimately it makes them happy I would like for each of you for a moment to think of a time in your own life where you wanted something very badly and you had exhausted every resource that you had to get it how does that feel I know how it feels you feel isolated you feel alone you feel without hope you feel unloved now what does it feel like when somebody reaches out to you and touches you and saves you in

one minute you were transformed and you realize that you're worthy that you're loved maybe that there's a God and that there's a purpose think about a time when you've reached out to somebody and impacted their lives and save them how did you feel you felt deeply happy because you impacted another individual and that happiness did not just last a second or a minute that level of happiness for many individuals last days weeks months and for many people they recall an event like that without their entire lives because it was so powerful some people imply that

Darwin said that it is survival of the fittest and the most ruthless but in fact what Darwin said what is it is the kindest and the most cooperative that survive there is every bit of scientific evidence to prove this to be a fact unfortunately our evolution in technology has exceeded our evolution as a species science and technology have not been able to keep up with our evolution as a species these issues of isolation in our modern society of feeling alone are not going to be addressed until those incredible tools are not focused on other conditions

than the afflictions of the human heart I would like you to imagine for a second a world in which there is no bullying a prison system in which the recidivism and violence rate is minimal a corporate environment where the days lost from work and stress due to mind-body disconnects don't exist this is the power of compassion this is what we strive for in our work at seek care and this is how powerful and impactful that compassion has the potential to be in our lives so that when we look out over the world we do not

see the other what we in fact ultimately will see will be our brother thank you [Applause]