Polite Phrases in English┃Learn American English Pronunciation On the Go

[Music] welcome to the Rachel's English podcast I'm Rachel and I make this podcast to help non-native speakers learn how to speak English and understand Americans and sound more American if that's their wish this week I'm sitting down with my husband David and we're reflecting on a recent trip that we took to Italy where we were struggling to find the phrases to be polite So today we're going to talk about phrases in English that you can use in various settings like a restaurant or a store when you're interacting with people who work for the restaurant or

store how to be polite how to ask for things and how to thank people for things let's Jump Right In David one thing I'm thinking about is remember in Rome there was that suply shop on our street right I do remember that yes it was so popular there were always any time of day it was crowded people were constantly going in and out yeah so we decided okay obviously we need to eat whatever is in there something is going on in there yeah so one evening I went in it was probably like 9 or 10

or no Stony well yeah maybe it was 9 or 10 and it was really crowded and I didn't really know how it worked it was just a counter where people could buy all sorts of deep fried things right and so I told David okay I'm going in so David and Stony were waiting for me outside and after like 10 minutes I came back out and I said I can't do it because how it works is very different there's not a line based system right I came lot places like that in Italy I came out empty-handed

and what I said was I couldn't do it like my Italian skills aren't good enough to figure out how to butt in so actually for me there were two things happening there there was like culturally I didn't know how it worked because no one was like getting behind somebody there was no line forming mhm and then also I was just way too intimidated to say like in America what would I say in that situation if it was sort of chaos and there was just a sort of a group of people with no sort of sense

of line forming what I would say is I think I was next or something like that what would you say in a situation like that in America if let's say you're at a grocery store at the deli counter getting some ham sliced thin for some delicious sandwiches I would I might say oh yeah I think I was next but I mean part of part of what's interesting is that as a native speaker you have a whole range of things that you could say that have a lot of nuance to them right that hopefully we're going

to be able to talk about today in the podcast in other words at the deli counter I might say oh I'm sorry yeah I was I was here thanks you know and play it play it sort of nice mhm or you know the situation might call for being a little a little bit more pointed just with a subtle intonation maybe mhm or an expression body language too would play in big body language yeah right so this is this is where culturally I think we're seeing a difference too between Italy and America in America like it

would be very orderly you would be expected to get into a line and wait your turn and in Italy it seems just a little bit more casual than that whereas in America it seems like you know if you're approaching a deli counter and there's already somebody there that you kind of stand behind them somewhat yeah mhm or if it's just a couple it's not a big deal but as soon as it started getting like more popular more people there then there would really be a sense of a line forming and I think it there was

usually some order to it I realized this is later in the trip where I was a lot more comfortable and probably have picked up on some of the cultural cues but when I went to that market in Genoa and got the the bread at that Bakery remember you telling me about David saw this swarm of people yeah and he knew okay I need to go buy whatever is being sold there right there were three different bakeries at the market I think but the one had people swarming around it so you know I joined the Swarm

I paid attention to who had swarmed in after me and everybody else had done that too and so there was there was some paying attention to who was there next and there was a bit of politeness did it seem like the people selling were paying attention to who was there next or were they relying on you guys to do that mostly it was relying on us mhm it was one person so she was you know she's packaging up bread and ringing people up and she didn't have the ability I don't think to manage the line

but people for the most part were you know differential to each other but there was a sense of like if you're going to be in here screwing around or don't know what you want or whatever or you're not going to take your turn I'll take it if you're not taking it yeah um there cuz there wasn't a line which is funny because another phrase I'm thinking in America that you could use if this was happening is you could say like if the person who is selling whatever starts giving you the attention I've definitely seen this

happen I think she was next so rather than taking your turn you direct it to whoever had been there before you yeah that's a right that's a good phrase oh no she was here first right I think she was next yeah she was here first yeah exactly so yeah so those are things that you could you could use in in that situation another thing you could also say oh actually I was here first if they start to help the person who right who's turned and if you're in a rush and need to get out I

think in many cases you would probably just let that person cut in front of you well maybe maybe not yeah I guess it's that's a personality thing yeah another thing I was thinking about in this situation is I could have just like as soon as I sensed as soon as I saw the guy hand a package across the counter to somebody and I knew he was ready I could have just sort of blurted out what I wanted I'll have two suply or whatever right but then that's hard when you don't know exactly what you want

to order right or if you had a question about something like I wanted to know is this vegetarian and then I just I had a hard time getting their attention so the moral of the story is you might have to get aggressive sometimes and just sort of speak up even if you're not exactly sure what to say if you're in a group of people and you need the attention of someone you might have to say I'd like this then you can say oh is it vegetarian and then after you get the attention after you've established

you're being helped then maybe you can open it up for asking a question yeah I think that's right oh so I ended up not buying anything that evening but then I did come back the next day earlier in the morning when it wasn't crowded and I did buy some stuff yeah you were persistent I felt good about just getting it done it was not crowded when I went in the next time and I could ask is this vegetarian and he said no it has meat and I said okay then I'll just have one this is

all in Italian I said okay then I'll just have one and then he packaged it up and I said uh two and then I had some anyway and do you think that they were good enough for the constant line I don't know that they were no think they were overrated no I think you're right but I think I for what they were for deep fried street food it was something interesting I've never had one of those before it was I'm glad I did it but no it's not like that is the meal that stands out

for me in our Italian Journey right um one thing that does stand out is the bread that David got from that vendor in the market in Genoa oh man that was worth joining the melee of people yeah that was worth pushing through your comfort zone of being like I'm in a crow people I don't know how this works I'm going to try to speak Italian anyway and also we learned that the bread in the Tuscan the Tuscany region they don't use much or any salt and so the bread wasn't that great and then we had

gone North and the bread was oh my God amazing very good bread okay another situation that I found myself in was we were eating out a lot because you know we were were traveling and we were often away from the house sightseeing and stuff during the middle of the day so one thing I found myself wanting to do was ask if a restaurant had a high chair and I knew how to say the word for high chair I think I even knew how to say do you have but I just I wasn't sure what was

polite and I didn't know if it would be read like do you personally have a high chair when I was meaning to ask does the restaurant have a high chair so I was struggling with knowing how to like phrase that really politely and I was thinking about how in American English like you've said there's subtlety there's Nuance there are lots of different ways you could ask the same question all with varying degrees of formality and politeness so I've come up with a couple phrases you can use if you're walking into a restaurant for example and

you want to know do they have a high chair or if you're walking in anywhere and you want to know if they have something rather than just saying do you have this which might be a little rude right this is way more broad than high chairs and this is great for everything from a hardware store where you're trying to say you need to pick up a hammer or yeah a restaurant wondering if they have a certain dish right do you have gluten-free pizza or whatever yeah okay so I've come up with a couple phrases let

me know what you think you could say well you could say I need I need I need a high chair or I need a hammer do you have one I me that would be a simple way I need this do you have it you could also say Do you happen to have do you happen to have a high chair do you happen to have gluten-free pasta mhm and when you were when you're saying do you happen to have I think here you're thinking maybe not they might not have it like you're not sure it doesn't

seem too likely that they would have it and you're also again it's a Nuance thing but you're also making them feel good if they do like it's do you happen to have you would you would really be meeting my needs above and beyond kind of like you happen to have it's very generous to the person that you're asking it gives them a lot of room to say no right because it's when you're saying do you happen to have it's like you're saying I know it's not likely that you would have it but maybe do you

you do I'm going to ask anyway do you happen to have mhm glutenfree fuka awful oh what else okay you could also say could you tell me if you have high chairs could you tell me if you have gluten-free pasta yeah I feel like that's um again there's leaving some room you don't quite expect the person to have it this is you think that they probably do right this is like you're in a pasta shop and could you tell me if you have ravioli that was made today right cuz you're expecting that probably they do

M so it's a little bit a little bit more direct than do you happen to have and well I also think it's it's also more polite than do you have ravioli that was made today could you tell me if you have it's a roundabout way and it's like the round out extra words using could or would adds politeness for example this next phrase that I came up with is way more extra words and it's a little convoluted but it is used and it's sort of extra formal and and polite would you be able to tell

me if you have pasta that was made today mhm would you be able to tell me if it's yeah now you're being really generous to the the person that you're asking cuz you you're you're not even sure that they want to talk to you like would you be able to tell me if you have you're really what's the word I think the would and the could of the previous sentence could you tell me if you have would and could have more politeness than do you or just yeah just saying is there this do you have

this could you tell me if would you be willing to tell me if no that's too much would you be able to tell me if though that yeah there's just an extra layer of politeness with those could would words yeah right and formality I would say it's a little bit more formal mhm especially would you be able to tell me if you have yeah I guess formal is the word what other word are you thinking of I don't know formal polite you certainly don't know the person you know like you wouldn't you wouldn't say that

to the little corner store that you pop into every day right where they know you and you know them right that gets to the next one that we wanted to talk about I me in a situation like that where you're familiar you can just you know pop your head in and say hey do you guys have eggs yeah there you can say do you have and it's it's a little bit it's less blunt it's less lacking Nuance because you already know the person so there's some Nuance there just in your relationship to the person in

your friendship with that person I also I'm thinking about how all of these are different if you say them with a smile versus a serious ious tone right friendly tone right if you go in somewhere and you say in sort of a a cold tone could you tell me if you have ravioli that's going to put the person on edge a little bit versus a big smile and you say could you tell me if you guys have ravioli today there such a difference in how warm your tone is you know one thing that I've noticed

as I've been really studying the voice over the past 10 years and how we use it in English is that when people want to be extra polite and extra friendly they tend to raise their pitch a little bit mhm could you tell me if you have versus could you tell me if you have right yeah mhm so that's another thing that I noticed you just did yeah and it's something that's good for for non-native speakers to know that they if you're in a situation where you're already uncomfortable and you know that you need to be

asking for something raise your tone a little bit because that's going to be experienced by The Listener as sort of like friendly or more open way to be asked actually David because you don't interact with students every day you don't know this but many students their pitch is already a little too high out of feeling nervousness or uncomfortable speaking English so actually I would say that would be a good tip for an American who's trying to figure out how to be more polite but for a non-native speaker I don't think I would necessarily say that

gotcha they may notice an American speaking really high and be like why are they speaking so high M and there are a couple of of reasons one is because they're trying to be extra friendly and energized and positive and the other thing is maybe they're nervous cuz some Americans also I think their pitch goes up some when they're nervous M okay that makes sense so another situation I'm thinking about my aunt ellanor who came to visit me when I lived in New York City and she's in a wheelchair and I wanted to take her out

to eat somewhere and New York City like lots of cities there are a lot of steps and so she had she had like a really big mechanical you know not just a a small wheelchair that you can fold but like an extremely heavy wheelchair there was no way that this thing could be lifted up steps with her in it so she told me you know call restaurants and use this phrase do you have a noep entrance so when you're calling a restaurant or a store or whatever to ask for something and you're not seeing somebody

you could say you know hello do you happen to have again it's do you happen meaning you know it's maybe not very likely do you happen to have a noep entrance I mean almost no one in New York City had a noep entrance mhm you could also say uh I'm calling to see if you have or I was wondering if you have a noep entrance I was wondering this is a really common way to ask about something and you could also use this in a store I think I was wondering if you guys have oh

yeah strawberry ice cream and I was thinking about it why do we use past tense there instead of I'm wondering if you have we always say I was and was reduces so it sounds like this I was was was I was wondering if man that's tough for a non-native speaker well you know once you study it once you know okay was is going to be was was yeah then you know you practice it you get it you get it in your body I'm just thinking about the past tense combined with the reduction I mean it's

it's tough I was I was wondering if you have so the I was is past tense and then the you have is present tense yeah that's a mess so I don't know why that something we use but that's a really common phrase again a friendly way to that's more polite than saying do you have I was wondering if you have whatever okay uh when we were at a restaurant and we were wanning to get the check to pay I knew how to say the check please but there there are more polite ways to say that

if you're willing to learn a few more words within a phrase uh one thing that I was thinking about with this that that makes me laugh about how we do it in America one of the really well you can say we'd like the check or we're ready for the check but then we sometimes We'll add on when you get the chance right and that makes me laugh it's what that means is you don't need to rush to do this it's okay if you have other things you have to do first like if some table is

waiting for for their food obviously take them their food before you bring me the check yeah you don't want to come off as demanding right and you recognize the server is busy and we use that to be passive aggressive too you can say it in a way that's like when you get the chance I don't know it's almost like not passive aggressive you want to to Curry favor with them like if the restaurant is super packed and it's like when you get the chance I know you're busy but hook me up I know you're busy

but yeah like come on can you get the check for us I think it is it does add an extra layer of polite politeness niceness when you get the chance and it it does depend on how you say it you know yeah you're right it's it's mostly being generous to the server it's mostly when you get the chance it's like saying we don't need to get out of here right now if you did if you're like running late for the theater or something you could say you could say something like oh we need to get

going to make our our movie could you bring us the check or whatever then that's obviously really different than we'd like the check when you get the chance yeah and it's totally appropriate to say sorry we've got to get going yeah we also say we're all set yeah we're all set if someone comes if the server comes and says can I get you anything else you can say nope we're all set we're all set means we don't need anything more or sometimes we'll say they'll come over and say anything else you can say just the

check mhm just the check please we're all set okay I also learned how to say in Italian toilet single word just like the bill single word intonation making it a question but in in if you want to learn a whole phrase here you could say could you tell me where the bathroom is or we often use the word restroom in America could you tell me where the restroom is MHM and we pointedly don't say toilet no we don't that's that's strange that sounds strange in America I me we all get it but it's like for

some reason we we're scared of that word it's the actual thing you sit on no way we're going to reference the room instead right now another thing I was thinking about is if you're like at a restaurant and you want to know where the bathroom is and you walk up to the bartender and let's say the bartender is looking at you the whole time as you're approaching then you could say could you tell me where the bathroom is but if the person's not looking at you and you need to get their attention first it's it's

it's not that polite to just alert your question expecting that they will look up at you I think it's more polite to start with pardon me or excuse me or even just hi just an initial something to get their attention and then you can ask the question I was also thinking about walking into a store and needing to get some diapers for Stony I didn't know how to say that I would just walk in and say like diapers my Italian skills were really pretty bad but people out there who are listening their English skills are

pretty good so let's let's work with some phrases here so if you walk into a store and you see a clerk you could say could you tell me where is or are could you tell me where diapers are could you tell me where the baby food aisle is MHM or you could also just say do you have diapers and I've also thought you could say do you guys have diapers guys seems really casual but we do use it in these settings sometimes to separate like you the IND idual from you the store yeah I think

that's we use that a lot do you guys have doua batteries do you guys have cold beer right another thing that I've thought about you know do you guys have you could also say do you guys carry and that's interesting because you know we think of the word to carry is like to pick up and walk with something but we also use it for stores a lot to mean is this something they sell do you guys carry baby wipes do you guys carry baby food do you guys carry organic milk or you could also say

do you guys sell mhm do you guys sell pre-made pre-washed salad bags salad mixed bags I'm just trying to think of nice things that someone might sell those salad bags they're so convenient you don't have to wash the lettuce and then if they say you know they'll usually say yes it's in aisle eight or whatever or yes it's down here if they don't say that if they just say yeah we do then you would then say okay where are they but I think it's very unlikely that if you walk into a store and ask if

they carry something that they would not tell you where it is they will say yes and then they'll tell you where it is MH um now let's go back to the deli counter all right so it's your turn you want to get thin sliced honey ham for your sandwiches for the week yep and it's your turn so rather than just saying a half pound of thin sliced honey ham you could say I would like I'd like like I'd like a half pound of honey ham or you could say could I please have mhm could I

please have a half pound of thinly sliced honey ham uh we also say I'll take mhm I'll take a half pound of thin sliced honey ham mhm so there are three phrases that you can use that just putting those few extra words in front of what you want makes it a more polite interaction and now let's say someone they hand you the honey ham or they've just told you where diapers are then you can you can thank them there are several ways that you can say thank youh thanks so much yeah and this is something

that I really struggled with when we were in Italy because I knew how to say thank you but there's so so much more you can imply you know I picked up then on how to say thanks very much mhm but yeah here I mean I I have a whole range we have a whole range of things we could say right thanks so much I really appreciate it mhm that was so kind of you that meant the world to me there's all these different variations on what we could say yeah that meant the world to me

would be like okay this person really helped you out like let's say I don't know you're down you have a flat tire and somebody comes along and helps you change your tire right oh that meant the world thank you so much or let's say someone's giving you directions totally lost you could say that's so helpful thank you so much or we say thanks a million mhm which they they say in in Italy too remember yeah right gra well now we know next time we travel we can sort of think of the phrases that we use

a lot in English to be polite and we can learn those in the language rather than you know we really didn't do a great job preparing before we left on like I started learning Italian but it was more more conversational and it was like I want this I would like that and it wasn't so much thank you so much or could you please tell me where blahy blah is so but hopefully this has helped the people out there thinking about different phrases that you can use in English to add another level of politeness when you're

interacting with somebody at a store or at a restaurant or something like that David thanks for being here and for helping me brainstorm these phrases yeah that was that was really fun and and like you said next time I travel internationally I will definitely spend some time with these kinds of phrases in the language that I'm that I'm going to be speaking okay guys that's it for today's episode thanks so much for listening if you're not subscribed please consider doing this in the iTunes Store or on Stitcher also leave me a review there I read

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