Why It Sucks to Be Born as an Eagle

you're inside a thick shell deeg in a nest on a rocky Cliff I suggest doing some push-up exercises during this time because honestly things are going to get worse after 45 days you hatch but no one pays you any attention because your parents are currently in a serious discussion about whose turn it is to fetch food for the nest you're now just a ball of dowy feathers with big eyes and an open appetite and after a bit of bargaining we discover that it's the father's turn to bring food today tenderly offers you soft semi- digested

meat after chewing it don't worry you'll get used to this gross stuff you start observing your parents learning from their movements and hunting techniques oh you have a sibling a nestmate Who hat shortly after you the best part is that you both have to fight over every meal your parents bring you they're going to watch the whole thing go down like it's some Prime Time Entertainment and the fight goes on until one of oh after winning this feathered fight you and your parents might just celebrate by what a wonderful family a month passes and you

grow quickly your Downy feathers are replaced by Sleek dark feathers they give you the distinctive look of a Black Eagle at around 90 days you're almost fully grown oh wait there may still be something you haven't learned yet yeah it's time to take a few flying lessons you stand at the edge of the nest looking down at the dizzying drop below your parents are circling nearby probably placing bets on whether you'll soar or Splat pretty sure they'd be happy with either outcome because they'd no longer have to feed you as much you spread your wings

close your eyes and Jump For a heart-stopping Moment you're falling then your instincts kick in your wings catch the air H maybe we should have moved that tree a bit you try again and you fall again after a series of attempts you start mastering flying well you learn to read wind currents and use them to soar higher with less effort you practice diving and rolling with each successful flight you become stronger and more confident you start to take more interest in the world Beyond The Nest your eyesight already incredible by human standards is now sharp

enough to spot a rabbit from a kilometer away I mean you literally have built-in binoculars but better from a high perch he watches your parents scan the landscape below their sharp eyes spotting the slightest movement when they see something worth pursuing they lock their Gaze on it their bodies tensing in anticipation then with a sudden burst of speed they dive folding their wings close to their bodies and plummeting towards the ground like a missile looks like your premium subscriptions expired now you'll have to get food yourself and do exactly what your dad just did oh

it's a wild rabbit you focus on it just like you saw your parents do and launch yourself into a dive the wind Roars in your ears as you pick up speed H maybe we should have moved that rock a bit try again as the days go by you get better you learn to predict your preise movement adjust your dive midair and use the element of surprise to your advantage Taste of fresh meat caught with your own Talons is unlike anything you've ever had before around this time your parents start to get a bit distant they're

not kicking you out exactly but they're definitely hinting that it might be time for you to move out so at around 14 to 15 months you finally take the hint it's time to leave the nest and strike out on your own your Eagle Gap here your chance to see the world or at least a different part of the Savannah you spend your days Soaring Over The Savannah scanning for prey and suitable territory it's like house hunting but instead of checking out the local schools and property values you're looking for good hunting grounds and defensible nesting

sites and just like in the human world all the best spots are already taken they aren't too thrilled about a young upstart moving into the neighborhood these encounters often end with you being chased off your pride slightly bruised but honestly if I were you I would beat the crap out of them nice try but it's not all territory disputes and near misses with hungry Lions there are moments of pure joy too the feeling of riding a thermal spiraling higher and higher until the world below looks like a patchwork quilt some animals on the ground suddenly

find themselves flying through the sky without any prior warning enjoying a breathtaking view beneath them before you eat them how generous of you you've mastered the art of the hunt taking down prey with a Precision that would make your parents proud if they weren't too busy enjoying their empty nest to notice then around your fourth or fifth year something changes spring rolls around and suddenly you're seeing your fellow black Eagles in a whole new light it's mating season and you're feeling the urge to pair up and start a family of your own finding a maid

isn't as simple as tossing out pickup lines it's a complex stance of aerial displays and giftgiving because nothing says I love you like a freshly caught hierax I guess it wasn't fresh enough after a few false starts and awkward encounters you realize that not every Eagle appreciates being dive bombed with a rabbit but eventually you find your perfect match together you set about building a nest and by building I mean stealing someone else's and adding a few twigs for good measure your first breeding season is a learning experience to say the least you and your

mate take turns incubating the eggs spelling each other for hunting breaks it's like the world's longest most boring work shift punctuated by moments of sheer panic every time the egg rolls slightly finally after about 45 days your first child hatches as you look down at this tiny fuzzy creature you're filled with a mix of emotions sure enough a few days later the second egg hatches and that means getting to enjoy some entertaining fights every day or maybe it'll all be over on the first day you settle into your role as a parent hunting tirelessly to

feed your growing kid you'll sore over the Savannah countless times your Keen eyes always on the lookout for the next meal and the next challenge as you settle into the rhythm of parenting you quickly realize that life as a Black Eagle parent is more of a marathon than a Sprint every day you soar over the Savannah scanning the landscape for prey your Keen eyes catch every twitch of movement a scurrying rodents here a nervous Antelope there oh the good old hierax always a favorite and a perfect gift for your demanding little child you barely have

time for yourself your once leisurely fights now feel like frantic food runs for a never-ending Buffet of tiny feathered mouths to feed and let's be honest your child as adorable as it may be has an appetite like it's training for the eagle Olympics other Eagles swoop in trying to muscle in on your hard-earned territory and it's up to you to defend it every day is a test of your strength your speed and your determination you're in constant aerial tools and just when you think you've finally gotten the hang of this parenting gig something goes wrong

maybe you forgot to Shield The Nest properly during a sudden downpour and you return to find your kid soggy and looking at you like really this is the best you've got but where's the mother well she's off getting some fresh food then one day your child grows up you send him with tears to find himself and grow into a responsible Eagle adult as you enjoy retirement you've learned to adapt relying more on cunning and strategy than brute strength you might not be able to chase down every intruder with the same ferocity but you've mastered the

art of intimidation why waste energy on a fight when you can win with a well-timed glare or a threatening swoop it's like trading in your boxing gloves for a black belt in psychological Warfare despite your age the jungle doesn't cut you any slack younger Eagles full of ambition and strength start eyeing your territory with the hunger you once knew all too well but your piercing gaze used to be enough to scare them [Music] off oh maybe not anymore