How Kids Can Benefit from Empathy and Love Language | Maple Zhang | TEDxKerrisdale

[Music] [Music] we like to think that we humans are pretty advanced we can make planes that fly submarines that can travel to the bottom of the ocean we invented electricity and the internet but every day I noticed that people find it hard to understand each other and while we know a lot about creating and Building Things to make our life easier we have some work to do in finding out what makes us happy and what makes others happy I know what makes me happy I'd love to draw anime characters I'm thinking maybe I'll be an

art teacher when I grow up I love to create YouTube videos with my cell phone I have more than 20 videos on my channel so don't forget to like And subscribe I also love to perform I make my family sit on the sofa and watch me while I put on the show and perform mostly it's about what I learned that day you must be thinking I'm finding out these fun facts on the internet well Google can be my best friend when I need a quick answer but nothing makes me happier than reading I just love

sinking into my favorite chair opening up a book and reading Katie the cat sitter my favorite series knowing more about what Capybaras eat or finding out about the beautiful Caribbean islands I'm so immersed in my reading that sometimes I don't even hear my mom when she yells meatball it's dinner time sorry Mom but why my friends asked me why I love books so much I should just watch more YouTube videos well for me I like books because when I read about people's stories and struggles they always find ways to connect and understand each other I

love books with happy endings don't you I'm sure after a long day at school will work we all want a happy ending to our day too right my mom has always taught my brother and I to be respectful of each other and of others we always make sure we find time to talk to each other even when we are tired at the end of the day she also taught us to be considerate of others and see how they are feeling I know now that this is called empathy I had a really important lesson in empathy

which I will never forget once we went to see my cousin when she was just a baby I told my mom I was so jealous because my cousin got to spend her whole day in bed just lying down she didn't have to do chores get ready by herself or even help fold the laundry then my mom told me when I get older I'll have to do so much more I'll have more responsibilities like my mom then she had a great idea which in the beginning I also thought was a great idea we decided to switch

roles mom was staying bad like my baby cousin and I would be the mom we were both so excited to do this mom stayed in bed she was on her phone she texted her friends watched some videos sometimes she was even napping I had to be the mom remember I made breakfast I made a bed I even brought Mom some food for lunch don't tell her but while she was napping I snuck into her closet and tried on some fruit clothes shoes and jewelry because I always thought that this was the best part of being

a mom then I went back to work more cleaning laundry folding clothes well Mom just watched and relaxed I was so tired that I quit after half a day I never realized that mommy Ying was such hard work now you'll understand that I will never forget the word empathy I respected my mom so much more but I love being a kid even more and now that I know how tiring it is for a mom I make it a point to make her happy when she is tired I read this book once About Love Languages by

a famous author called Gary Chapman he talks about five ways or love languages how we can show people we care how we can show empathy the first one is words of affirmation these are the words you use to tell people you care for them I had a classmate Rebecca she is on the autism spectrum and doesn't really talk much I feel sad for her because she doesn't have a lot of friends I know that Rebecca prefers not to talk so I send her notes asking her to join my friends and I for recess or be

in our group when we did activities sometimes she would come and we see that she had a good time Wars of affirmation don't have to be spoken writing notes can help too the second one is acts of service these are the things you do to show people you care for them in our class I try to be helpful in class so that the teacher doesn't have to do a lot of cleanup and while my friends wanted to draw anime characters like I do I started an art club and at first recess I helped them learn

to draw it I feel good knowing I can do something for others to make them feel happy the third one is kiss this is my favorite but it's not how you think of course I'd love to receive presents but I like giving them even more especially when it's a surprise last Chinese New Year I opened my piggy bank and made red packets for my grandma and grandpa I didn't give a lot but they were so surprised and happy to get something for me they have big happy smiles on their faces I can remember it even

today the fourth love language is quality time spending time with your family and loved ones is super important for example I play with my cousin she's only three years old it's a little hard because I'm the one who's talking and entertaining her more but I do it anyways because she loves it I also play Pokemon with my big brother it wasn't really my thing at first but I played it anyways because he enjoys it now I really love it and I know my Charmander from my Charizard we even named our bearded dragon Charmander try to

do the things they like even if you're not really interested at first the last love language is physical touch my mom really connects with this love language because when I see that she's tired I rush to give her a hug and sometimes when I'm done with my homework I give her a coupon for Maples Relaxation Center it's the spot that I set up in the living room where she can sit and enjoy shoulder massage words of affirmation acts of service gifts quality time and physical touch what's your love language what would make you happy think

about how you are feeling after a long day at school or work what would make you happy when you come home would you want someone to talk to you ask about your day or compliment you for the age that you got in math if this sounds like you your love language is likely worth of affirmation do love it when people do thoughtful actions for you liked how I helped put the dishes away for my mom it might be that you like acts of service or maybe you love it when you come home and find a

surprise like your favorite snack or new book then gifts are what makes you happy what about if you love to play board games watch a movie or walk in the park with your family and friends if this sounds like you your love language may be quality time I know my love language and my mom's we like to give each other hugs we know our love language is physical touch I may only be nine but I know that it's important to be more thoughtful more kind and more giving we need empathy to know how others feel

and we can use Love Languages to speak in a way others understand so did you think about it what's your love language what will make you happy if you know your love language let those you love know what to everyone will be much happier for it thank you [Music]