The Day Deathworlder Told the Galactic Council No Thanks | HFY | Sci Fi Stories

Ambassador James Chen couldn't help but smirk as he stood before the massive doors of the galactic council chambers he'd practiced his Poker Face for weeks but something about the absurdity of the situation made his lips twitch here he was a guy who just 5 years ago had been arguing about coffee machine protocols in the UN breakroom about to tell the most powerful governing body in the known universe to stick their offer where the sun doesn't shine the doors because apparently every advanced civilization still had a flare for the dramatic slowly creaked open with a Pneumatic

hiss the chamber Beyond was a masterpiece of architectural showing off sweeping crystalline arches that caught and reflected the light from three artificial Suns creating an aurora that would have been breathtaking if it wasn't so obviously designed to make visitors feel small and insignificant nice light show Chen muttered under his breath bet their energy bill is astronomical the chamber housed representatives from over 200 species arranged in ascending Rings like some alien version of a corporate Amphitheater Chen's enhanced eyes courtesy of Earth's primitive Medical Technology picked out details that would have had xenobiologist back home drooling there

were beings that seemed to be made entirely of crystalline structures others that appeared to be sentient gas clouds contained in environmental suits and one that looked suspiciously like a very angry Ficus the MX with their their feline features and Perpetual expression of having just smelled something unpleasant occupied the highest tear next to them sat the ZX V whose silicon-based biology made them look like animated geodes with too many eyes the praxy everyone's least favorite bureaucrats shuffled their tentacles nervously in the middle section probably calculating how this meeting would affect their profit margins Ambassador James Chen

of Earth announced a mechanized voice that somehow managed to sound both bored and condescending representative of classification death World threat assessment pending status probationary love the intro Chen said loud enough for the nearest delegates to hear really captures my Essence a few of the younger species Representatives quickly covered their audio reception organs apparently scandalized by such casual disrespect the chamber's atmosphere was thick with tension and not just because several species required different atmospheric compositions to breathe it had been just 18 months since first Contact when a praxi mining vessel had quite literally bumped into one

of Earth's deep space probes the resulting diplomatic chaos had been equal parts terrifying and hilarious Chen still remembered the praxy ambassador's face or what passed for a face when they realized their first Contact package had been automatically translated by an earth AI in under 3 minutes they'd spent decades developing that encryption and Humanity's primitive computers had cracked it while the coffee was still hot high counselor zixx a being who resembled nothing so much as a very important jellyfish wearing a very expensive toger floated down to the speaker's Podium the bioluminescent patterns Rippling through their transparent

body indicated what Chen's cultural briefing had taught him was either extreme anxiety or indigestion given what he was about to tell them probably both Ambassador Chen zix's translator produced a voice like honey poured over gravel you stand before the galactic Council as a representative of your unique world we have reviewed your species application for protected status with great interest Chen smiled it was the same smile his grandmother had worn when his grandfather insisted he could fix the quantum router himself the kind of smile that said oh honey you have no idea what's coming the council

chambers fell silent waiting for the humans response they expected gratitude perhaps even groveling after all Earth was just another death world that needed their protection right Chen straightened his tie an ancient earth power move that was completely lost on the assembled aliens and prepared to ruin everyone's day in the most diplomatic way possible High councelor zix's bioluminescent patterns shifted to what their species considered a magnanimous dis display though to Chen it looked more like a lava lamp having an existential crisis the galactic Council zixa began their translated voice dripping with artificial warmth has carefully considered

Earth's unique situation as a death world species you face many challenges that more evolved civilizations have long since overcome Chen kept his face carefully neutral though he could feel his molers grinding the council's massive graphic display activated showing a surprisingly inaccurate rendering of Earth's solar system at least they'd finally stopped drawing Earth as flat our protection agreement is most generous a m representative purred from the upper tier their cat-like features arranged in what they probably thought was a benevolent expression we propos to station a defensive Fleet in your system purely for your protection of course

of course Chen echoed his tone dry enough to turn the count Chambers carefully regulated humidity into a desert zixa rippled appreciatively completely missing the sarcasm the terms are quite simple Earth will be granted Class C protected status you'll be permitted to maintain a minimal Defense Force for internal security all advanced weapons research will be supervised by Council advisers your industrial output will be regulated to ensure Environmental Compliance and all extraplanetary trade will be conducted through Council approved intermediaries for a modest administrative fee added a praxy representative their tentacles writhing with barely contained greed how modest

Chen asked raising an eyebrow a mere 40% of all external trade Revenue the praxy answered as if they were offering the deal of the century plus standard resource allocation fees technology licensing charges and environmental impact assessments Chen made a show of taking notes on his primitive tablet watching with Amusement as several council members flinched at the archaic technology they had no idea the device contained more computing power than their entire Chambers systems combined in return zixa continued their patterns now showing what Chen recognized as smug satisfaction you'll receive access to carefully curated Galactic technology nothing

too advanced of course we wouldn't want to overwhelm your species we'll start with basic agriculture improvements perhaps some rudimentary Medical Technology as oxie representative chimed in their crystalline form refracting light in patterns of superiority we've had great success with this approach on other death Worlds the crth for example barely destroy anything anymore that's because they can barely build anything anymore Chen muttered under his breath having read the classified reports on what happened to the CR once a promising indust industrial species they now spent most of their time making trinkets for tourist shops zixa floated closer

their translucent form now towering over Chen in what was probably supposed to be an intimidating display furthermore we'll need immediate access to your nuclear facilities antimatter research and any other potentially dangerous Technologies for safety reasons naturally naturally Chen replied his smile never wavering and our AI research the chamber went so quiet you could have heard a Praxis wallet drop zix's bioluminesence flickered in what could only be described as Panic AI research they managed to translate their patterns now a chaos of alarmed colors surely a species at your development level hasn't just asking Chen said innocently

enjoying the Ripple of unease that spread through the chamber please continue with the terms zixa took a to compose themselves their pattern settling into a more authoritative display the agreement is standard for species of your classification you'll be granted Observer status in Council meetings with the possibility of upgraded status in a few centuries assuming satisfactory compliance how generous Chen said his voice carrying just enough Edge to make several Junior Representatives shift uncomfortably in their environmental suits it is generous zix act snapped their translator failing to completely mask their irritation many species would be grateful for

such an opportunity the alternative is isolation no support no protection no access to Galactic markets surely you understand the implications the threat wasn't subtle but then again subtlety wasn't high on the list of prerequisites for Council membership Chen looked up from his tablet meeting zix ofa's cluster of sensory organs with a steady gaze oh I understand perfectly he said and for the first time his smile reached his eyes would you like to hear our response now Chen allowed himself a moment of reflection as he watched the council members shift impatiently in their seats he thought

back to the briefing just 3 days ago in the underground Command Center beneath Geneva that officially didn't exist make them sweat a little general Rodriguez had said her weathered face creasing with a Amusement let them think they've got us cornered before you drop the hammer and the classified briefing room had been packed with Earth's highest ranking military and scientific leaders holographic displays had shown real-time tracking of every Council vessel within 50 light years of Earth all without using their precious approved technology Chen remembered Dr jang's presentation the quantum physicist barely containing her Glee as she

explained Earth's technological achievements their f TL drives are hilariously inefficient she' said pulling up comparative diagrams they're still using artificial gravity Wells for propulsion we cracked vacuum energy manipulation 5 years ago the truth was Humanity had been busy while the council species had spent Millennia playing political games and enforcing their technological hierarchies Earth had been solving problems the hard way there's nothing quite like evolving on a death world to spark innovation their biggest weakness Admiral Patel had pointed out is their complete dependence on Specialized worlds manufacturing here agriculture there mining somewhere else one disruption in

their supply chain and their whole house of cards comes tumbling down Earth on the other hand had been forced to develop everything locally every technology every advancement had to work in Earth's brutal gravity and harsh conditions the result systems and devices that were far more robust and adaptable than anything the council had developed in their carefully controlled environments Chen glanced down at his primitive tablet inside its unassuming case was a quantum computer more powerful than anything the council had the neural interface behind his left ear invisible to standard Council scans was feeding him real-time analysis

of every species biological responses in the chamber even their secure Communications were an open book to Earth's AI systems the council had no idea that their own defense networks had been comprehensively mapped by Earth's probe grid within months of first Contact they didn't know about the nanotech factories hidden in Earth's asteroid belt or the quantum entanglement communication Network that made their Subspace channels look like tin cans on a string they certainly didn't know about project Phoenix the emergency evacuation system that could reach locate Earth's entire population through artificial wormholes if necessary because when you evolve

on a death world you learn to plan for the worst remember the president had told him in their final meeting we're not looking for war but we're not accepting charity from people who think we're Primitives either Chen's enhanced Vision caught zix ofa's bioluminescent patterns shifting through frequencies that indicated growing impatience the high counselor probably thought they were being generous offering to protect Earth from the dangers of the Galaxy they had no idea that Humanity had already develop defenses against every known weapon in the council's Arsenal the same drive that had taken humans from stone tools

to space flight in a handful of Millennia hadn't slowed down one bit let them realize slowly his psychological adviser had suggested the shock will be more effective if they figure it out themselves Chen straightened up ready to begin his presentation he thought about the fleet of stealth ships currently positioned throughout Council space the quantum AI networks monitoring every transmission and the Revolutionary Technologies Earth Was preparing to patent across multiple sectors the council thought they were offering protection to A Primitive death world species they were about to learn that Humanity had outgrown the need for protection

long ago Chen cleared his throat drawing the council's attention esteemed members of the council he began his voice carrying clearly through the chamber Earth has prepared a brief presentation of our own before I begin Chen said pulling out what appeared to be an Antiquated data chip I should mention that we've taken the liberty of upgrading your holographic systems hope you don't mind before any council member could object the chamers display system suddenly activated with Clarity that made several species visual organs dilate in Surprise the resolution was so perfect that some Representatives instinctively tried to dodge

the Apparently solid objects appearing before them what you're experiencing Chen explained casually as if he wasn't watching several million credits worth of council technology being casually superseded is quantum enhanced holographic projection a little side project from our entertainment division zix ofa's patterns flashed in alarm you can't possibly have modified your systems without permission Chen finished oh but we did about 6 months ago actually don't worry we left detailed maintenance instructions with your AI oh wait he snapped his fingers in mock realization you don't have those do you the chamber erupted in shocked Whispers as the

display shifted to show Earth's solar system not the simplified version the council used but the real one complete with its complex network of automated defense systems Manufacturing facilities and Quantum communication relays let's start with something simple Chen said expanding the view to show a massive structure in Earth's orbit this is one of our solar collection arrays nothing special just a little something we built to handle our energy needs current output is he checked his tablet roughly equivalent to the entire energy consumption of sectors 1 through four of council space combined a MX representative stood up

fur bris impossible such technology would require efficient energy conversion and storage Chen interrupted funny story about that turns out when you evolve on a death world you get really good at not wasting resources speaking of which the display shifted to show what appeared to be a standard Council military vessel this is one of your latest Patrol ships impressive design really we especially like the photon cannons the image split showing a comparison this is what we came up with last year notice anything different the council certainly did the human vessel was smaller sleer and bristling with

technology that shouldn't have been possible for a primitive species our version uses about 1/10th the energy has tripled the Firepower and comes with a pretty decent coffee maker Chen added we found your designs in a public database hope you don't mind that we made a few improvements zixa was now displaying patterns that the translator couldn't even interpret this is a violation of council law Chen raised an eyebrow actually we checked there's nothing in your regulations about improving on publicly available technology we had our lawyers look very carefully at that all 12,000 pages of your technology

sharing protocols the display shifted again this time showing a series of planetary defense systems that made several military Representatives sink lower in the their seats these are currently deployed throughout our system fully automated self-repairing and capable of targeting any threat with Precision that frankly makes your targeting systems look like throwing rocks with a blindfold on but the real pride of our military Chen continued enjoying the growing panic in the chamber is something we call the guardian Network the display showed a vast web of interconnected satellites and stations Quantum entangled communication zero lag time controlled by

an AI that makes your best computers look like pocket calculators and before anyone gets nervous yes we solved the AI Control problem turns out ethics wasn't as hard as everyone thought when you don't start with the assumption that other species are inferior aaxy Representatives tentacles had tied themselves in actual knots the cost of developing such systems was surprisingly reasonable Chen interjected when you don't have to pay council certification fees or use Council approved contractors or follow Council efficiency guidelines that are three centuries out of date you'd be amazed what you can accomplish the display shifted

one final time showing a map of known space dozens of points lit up showing human stealth ships and monitoring stations oh and we hope you don't mind that we've been keeping an eye on things purely for research purposes of course we were particularly interested in what happened to the CR and the Vex and all those other death world species you so generously offered to protect the chamber had gone deathly quiet even zix ofa's bioluminescence had dimmed to a shocked pale glow now Chen said his voice carrying clearly through the silence let's talk about what actual

cooperation between species might look like because Earth isn't interested in becoming another one of your protected worlds we're not looking for handouts and we're certainly not looking for permission to develop technology we already have he gestured and the display showed trade routes scientific cooperation initiatives and Joint Defense proposals we're offering something different real partnership equal exchange of ideas and before anyone asks yes we can enforce that equality the display shut down returning to its normal State though everyone in the chamber knew it would never be the same again Chen smiled the kind of smile that

suggested he had barely started that was the short version of our presentation he said cheerfully I have about 600 terabytes of additional technical documentation if anyone's interested now who would like to discuss a real partnership agreement the council chamber remained silent hundreds of alien species trying to process how thoroughly they had misread the situation Chen waited patiently knowing that sometimes the best part of making a point was letting others absorb just how badly they had miscalculated Chen pulled up another file on his tablet watching as several council members visibly flinched he almost felt bad almost

now that we've covered Earth's capabilities let's discuss something more interesting he said his voice carrying a sharp edge like what happened to the last 23 death world species you so generously offered to protect the holographic display flickered to life again showing a graveyard of Worlds once thriving civilizations reduced to tourist attractions and resource extraction sites the C Chen began zooming in on a rustored planet brilliant Engineers developed plasma containment technology that was centuries ahead of their time then the council generously offered protection and now they sell trinkets to tourists funny how their research facility is

all burned down in that mysterious accident 50 years ago ziva's patterns flash defensively those incidents were thoroughly investigated by Council investigators using Council protocols reaching Council approved conclusions Chen finished yes we read those reports we also found the original data amazing what you can discover when you have quantum computers analyzing supposedly corrupted files the display shifted to another world this one a gas giants Moon the Vex remarkable biotechnology they were close to cracking cellular regeneration but then they signed your protection agreement and suddenly all their research violated Council safety protocols now they're growing Council approved

crops with Council approved methods making just enough to pay their Council protection fees ax representative stood up fur bristling you're distorting the facts Act actually Chen cut in I'm summarizing the full analysis runs to about 12,000 Pages would anyone like to see the profit margins the Council made from redistributing Vex biotech patents no let's move on then the display showed a complex web of financial transactions resource movements and policy decisions this is what we call the protection racket protocol sorry protection agreement protocol step one find developing species with valuable technology or res sources step two

offer protection they don't need from threats that don't exist step three regulate them into submission through safety protocols environmental guidelines and administrative fees the chamber had grown so quiet you could hear the environmental suits humming Chen continued his voice now cold and precise here's what happens to most protected species economies within 5 years of signing your agreement a graph appeared showing a steep decline in independent technological development and here's what happens to council Affiliated corporations in the same sectors a contrasting graph showed skyrocketing profits but my personal favorite Chen said pulling up another file is

your contingency plans for Earth these were particularly interesting reading zix ofa's patterns turned almost strobing those files are classified we classified Chen corrected amazing how easy encryption is to break when you don't assume machines can't think your plans were quite thorough gradual technology restrictions strategic resource agreements careful regulation of our development all designed to turn Earth into another dependent world within 50 years he pulled up more documents letting them float in the air like accusatory ghosts you even had plans for handling potential resistance engineered economic crises manufactured environmental emergency and if all else failed the

tried andrue method of staging a convenient accident with our son's containment field research the praxy representatives tentacles had gone completely still a sure sign of panic in their species these allegations are supported by approximately 18 zettabytes of documented evidence Chen finished including some very interesting personal Communications between council members about resource rights in the soul system the bidding was quite competitive I must say he zoomed in on one particular document that made several Representatives suddenly find the ceiling fascinating I particularly enjoyed the discussion about how to divide up Earth's water resources very thorough planning though

you might want to update your estimates we actually have more oceans than you thought we just keep them hidden better the tension in the chamber had become almost solid enough to walk on several Junior representatives were trying to discreet access their private communication devices only to find them mysteriously unresponsive oh don't worry about your Communications Chen said pleasantly they're working fine we're just routing them through our systems first Standard Security protocol you understand we learned it from reading your manuals on information control during protection agreements he closed his tablet with a decisive click so let's

be clear we know about the resource grabs disc ized as environmental protocols we know about the technology suppression hidden behind safety regulations we know about the Strategic weakening of protected species military capabilities and most importantly Chen leaned forward his smile now showing teeth we know about the seven other death world species currently considering your protection agreements in fact we've already shared this presentation with them they send their regards by the way well most of them some were too busy canceling their Council appointments Chen pulled out a second data chip this one glowing with a subtle

blue light now that we've cleared the air let's discuss Earth's terms your terms zix vax's translator crackled with barely contained indignation yes our terms do try to keep up Chen replied inserting the chip the holographic display shifted to show a complex network of trade routes and Technologic iCal exchange protocols Earth proposes the formation of the independent world's Coalition the display highlighted several systems that made multiple council members shift uncomfortably we've already established preliminary agreements with the drachnid Empire the salarian collective and yes three of your former protected species who recently bought out their protection contracts

a shocked murmur ran through the chamber the drachnid empire had been a thorn in the council's side for centuries refusing to join while maintaining significant technological superiority in several sectors our proposition is simple Chen continued open trade real technological exchange no administrative fees no resource quotas no development restrictions just straightup collaboration between species who respect each other's sovereignty the display showed a series of technological Innovations Earth is prepared to share our advances in Quantum Computing energy production and FTL travel in return we want unrestricted access to council trade routes and the immediate cancellation of all

predatory protection agreements you can't possibly expect a m representative began we already have the support of 32 independent trading worlds Chen interrupted combined with Earth's production capabilities and the draids existing infrastructure we can establish a completely independent trading Network within 2 years your choice is whether you want to be part of it or compete with it the display shifted to show Earth's strategic positions throughout known space we've established manufacturing bases in 17 systems research facilities in 12 others and our Quantum communication Network already covers 60% of inhabited space all built quietly while you thought we

were just a primitive death world species trying to figure out basic space flight Chen smiled as the implications sank in we're not asking for permission we're extending an invitation Earth and our allies are going to reshape Galactic trade whether the council approves or not the only question is whether you want to adapt or become obsolete the display showed projected economic growth charts that made several praxy Representatives tentacles curl in Envy our model eliminates 90% of current administrative overhead reducing es transport costs by 60% through improved FTL technology and opens up new markets that your protection

agreements have been suppressing for centuries this is unprecedented zixa protested their patterns showing clear distress no Chen corrected this is inevitable Earth is offering the council a chance to be part of the future instead of becoming a footnote in it we've already proven we can bypass your security improve your technology and outmaneuver your economic controls now we're offering to work with you instead of around you he gestured at the display which showed the proposed structure of the new Coalition equal representation shared technological advancement free trade with reasonable oversight and most importantly no more treating developing

worlds like resources to be exploited the chamber had grown thoughtfully quiet the kind of quiet that comes when people or aliens realize they're witnessing a fundamental shift in power the choice is yours Chen concluded but I should mention the drachnid Empire is expecting my call in about 10 minutes to finalize our agreements I'd hate to have to tell them the council wasn't interested in being part of the future High councelor zixa Rose to their full height their bioluminescent patterns pulsing with barely contained rage the chamber's gravity field fluctuated slightly as they channeled energy through their

environmental field a classic Council in idation tactic you dare threaten this Council their translator crackled with artificial Menace we have maintained peace and order for 10,000 years hundreds of species Prosper under our protection we will not be blackmailed by a deathworld species that barely learned to split atoms a century ago Chen checked his watch an archaic gesture that made several council members wince first this isn't a threat it's a weather report second your gravity display is cute but you might want to dial it back before you blow your environmental field generators and third he pressed

a button on his tablet suddenly communication channels throughout the chamber burst to life on every screen representatives from two dozen independent worlds appeared watching the proceedings with obvious Amusement hope you don't mind I invited some friends to watch Chen said cheerfully the drachnid emperor sends his regards he would have called personally but you know how it is busy running an Empire that's about to become Earth's primary trading partner this is an outrage aex representative howled a violation of council protocol actually one of The Observers cut in their translator identifying them as the salarian high Commander

it's a public Council session we checked your own bylaws any species with pending trade agreements can observe and we all have pending agreements with Earth zix's patterns had shifted to a pale sickly Hue the council will not be coerced into what Chen asked innocently fair trade equal partnership not exploiting developing species you're right that would be horrible he turned to address the chamber at large by the way the quantum encryption protocols we developed already shared them with every independent world in the Coalition you might want to update your security a praxi Representatives tend to had

tied themselves into what appeared to be an anxiety knot the economic implications are exactly why you're going to accept our terms Chen finished because right now seven major trading worlds are watching you decide whether to adapt or become irrelevant the drachnid Empire's markets alone could replace 40% of council trade volume add Earth's manufacturing capabilities and the salarian collectives research facilities he let the implications hang in the air like a suspended gravitational field zixa made one final attempt the council has measures in place for dealing with Rogue elements you mean the automated defense network we reprogrammed

6 months ago Chen asked or the economic sanctions we've already developed counter measures for or perhaps you're referring to the secret Fleet hiding behind the Proxima nebula he checked his tablet which by the way just had all its command codes reset to play something humans call never going to give you up on all frequencies the chamber erupted in a chaos of translations and exclamations Chen stood calmly in the center a small smile playing on his lips as he watched several council members hurriedly Consulting their own data feeds and finding everything he'd said was true the

vote is simple Chen announced over the din accept Earth's proposal for equal partnership and a new era of Galactic trade or watch as we and our allies create it without you you have he checked his watch again about 3 minutes before I'm scheduled to finalize agreements with the independent worlds no pressure zix ofa's patterns had settled into what their species used to indicate resignation around the chamber representatives were already signaling their support realizing that the balance of power had shifted irreversibly welcome to the Future Chen said his grin widening don't worry we'll help you catch

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