my controlling girlfriend cheats on me to make me jealous she records it all and sends it to me in order for me to realize how much I love her I'm a 28-year-old guy and I'm at a bit of a turning point in my relationship I could really use some fresh insights on my situation I've been living with my girlfriend lesli who's also 28 for the last 2 years and now I'm grappling with a big decision about whether to take the plunge and marry her to give you some context lesli and I go way back to
our school days we were classmates all through high school but honestly we couldn't stand each other back then our time together was filled with constant bickering and competition we frud over everything from group projects to who got to use the last piece of chalk I thought she was way too bossy and she probably saw me as a lazy Troublemaker one memory that stands out is from 10th grade when we were teamed up for a science fair project it should have been a straightforward task but with us it was anything but I wanted to focus on
renewable energy solar panels wind turbines you name it but lesli was adamant about doing a project on genetics we went back and forth for days neither of us willing to give in our arguments got so heated that our teacher Mr Thompson had to intervene they ended up splitting us up and assigning us to different partners I teamed up with Mike a quiet guy who was totally on board with my renewable energy idea while lesli got paired with Sarah The Brainiac of the class that project pretty much captured the essence of our relationship throughout high school
we were like oil and water always clashing in class debates we'd find ourselves on opposite sides turning even the simplest topics into fiery arguments our classmates quickly learned to keep us apart during group activities to prevent a full-blown War something shifted during our senior year maybe it was the pressure of college applications are the fact that we were about to go our own ways but our perspectives on each other changed I started noticing things about lesie that I had never really paid attention to before for instance her commitment to her studies was impressive she often
stayed late to tutor younger students and she was fiercely protective of her friends always ready to stand up to anyone who tried to bully them I remember this one time when our school newspaper ran an article criticizing the student council which lesli was part of instead of getting defensive she took the initiative to set up a forum where students could share their thoughts directly with the council I was really struck by how maturely she handled the whole situation lesli's sharp sense of humor which I used to find annoying started to crack me up I began
to look forward to our playful banter enjoying the challenge of keeping up with her quick wit I couldn't help but admire her determination when lesli decided to do something she went for it wholeheartedly a big moment came during our school's winter formal I almost skipped it since dances weren't really my scene but my best friend insisted I had to go to our last winter formal I remember standing awkwardly by the punch bowl when lesli walked in she looked stunning in a blue dress that highlighted her eyes and her usually wild curls were styled beautifully for
the first time I saw her as more than just my annoying classmate she was gorgeous and exuded confidence and suddenly I couldn't take my eyes off her to my surprise lesie came over to me we kick things off with some light chatter about the cheesy decorations and the awful DJ but before long we dove into a deeper conversation about our College dreams and the anxieties we had about what lay ahead we ended up talking for hours that night realizing we had way more in common than we thought yet even with that spark between us neither
of us could muster the guts to confess our feelings the timing felt all off especially with graduation around the corner and our lives about to take different paths after we tossed our caps we headed to different states for college I went to California to study engine nearing at Stanford while lesli set off for New York to chase a business degree at na we drifted apart over the years both caught up in our new adventures I focused on my studies joined the robotics club and even landed an internship at a tech startup in Silicon Valley from
what I could gather on social media lesli was doing great too she joined the debate team studied abroad in London and scored some impressive internships passed forward to 3 years ago when our high school planned a 10-year reunion I wasn't really keen on going I had a big work project due and the idea of making small talk with people I hadn't seen in ages didn't excite me but my mom who still lived in our hometown insisted it would be nice to reconnect with old friends so somewhat reluctantly I booked a flight back home as soon
as I stepped into the gym decked out in our old school colors Nostalgia Hit me hard I saw familiar faces some looked just the same While others were almost unrecognizable while I was catching up with my old lab partner I spotted her lessly time had treated her well she had blossomed into a stunning Confident Woman her long brown hair was now styled in a Chic Bob and she carried herself with a Poise I had never noticed before she was cracking up at something someone said and her laughter echoed through the room pulling me in like
a magnet before I even realized it I was making my way over to her as I got closer she turned to face me and for a brief moment we just locked eyes then her face lit up with a big smile and it felt like no time had passed at all we spent the whole evening catching up lesli filled me in on her job at a marketing firm in the city her eyes sparkling as she talked about the campaign she was involved in I shared my experiences as a software developer the ups and downs of working
in Silicon Valley we reminisced about our old rivalry amazed at how our perspectives had changed as the night went on I realized I didn't want it to end the old tension between us had shifted into something th thrilling and new when lesli suggested grabbing coffee the next day before I headed back to California I jumped at the chance that coffee turned into a long stroll in the park which led to dinner and before we knew it we had missed our flights home the next few days were spent rediscovering our hometown and each other by the
time we said our goodbyes at the airport we had decided to give a long-distance relationship a shot the following year was a whirlwind of weekend visits lengthy phone calls and planning our next get together we took turns visiting each other exploring our new city side by side I loved Leslie's adventurous nature she was always ready to try new restaurants or check out quirky art galleries she pushed me to step outside my comfort zone and I found myself growing in ways I never anticipated I remember one weekend when lesli came to visit me in San Francisco
we spontaneously decided to take a road trip down the coast to Big sir we got a bit lost our car broke down and we end ended up crashing at this tiny motel that had definitely seen better days but instead of whining about it lesie made it an adventure we spent the evening on the beach soaking in the sunset and chatting about our dreams for the future that trip was when I realized I was falling for her about a year later we decided to take the leap and move in together we picked a city that was
halfway between our jobs and found a cute little apartment with a view of the park the first few months of living together were pure Magic we'd whip up dinner together trying out new recipes and laughing at our kitchen fails we'd stay up late binge watching shows getting into debates about plot twists and character arcs Lazy Sunday mornings were all about cuddling in bed and dreaming up our future Adventures But as time passed I started noticing some red flags Leslie's possessive and jealous eyed which I once thought was sweet started to feel a bit stifling at
first it was just small stuff she'd get upset if I took too long to text back or if I mentioned hanging out with female co-workers I brushed it off thinking it was just a phase or a sign of how much she cared then there was this one incident about a year ago that should have been a warning sign I had a female colleague Emma who was going through a rough divorce I offered to listen over lunch as a friend when I told lesie about it she exploded with jealousy accusing me of having feelings for Emma
it took hours to calm her down and convince her that Emma was just a friend in need things really escalated about 6 months ago I recently started a new project at work that required me to team up closely with a female colleague named Sarah every time I brought up Sarah Leslie seemed to get more and more upset she would ask all sorts of questions about what we were doing together and hint that Sarah might have some hidden agenda one night I came home late after a team dinner celebrating a successful project launch lesie was waiting
for me looking really upset she accused me of cheating with Sarah even though I tried to explain it was just a work thing we ended up having a massive fight that night with lesli insisting on checking my phone and emails to prove I wasn't lying I was taken aback by her lack of trust and tried to calmly discuss her jealousy but instead she surprised me by suggesting we should get married she claimed that if we tied the knot she'd feel more secure and wouldn't worry about other women now I'm in a tough spot I really
care about lesie she's smart funny and we have so many amazing memories together but her jealousy and possessiveness are becoming a real problem in our relationship I am concerned that if we get married these issues will just get worse I've tried to bring it up with her several times but she either brushes me off or flips it back on me saying I don't love her enough last week I proposed we go to coup's therapy to help with our communication and Trust Issues lesie took it the wrong way saying that if I truly loved her we
wouldn't need therapy I feel feel trapped on one side I can Envision a future with lesie I adore the way her eyes light up when she laughs how passionate she gets about books and how she always remembers to call my mom on her birthday we've even talked about our dreams of traveling the world together and maybe starting a family one day on the flip side I'm really not sure I can deal with a lifetime of having to constantly prove my loyalty and tip toing around other women it makes me anxious about what this could mean
for my job would I have to turn down chances to work with female co-workers and what about my friendships with women I don't want to go through life feeling guilty for every harmless chat I'm also worried about how lesli's jealousy might impact our future kids if we decide to have any I wouldn't want them to think that this kind of possessiveness is normal or healthy in a relationship sometimes I wonder if I'm just overreacting is this level of jealousy typical am I being unfair to lesli by not grasping her insecurities but then I remember the
look of suspicion in her eyes when she insisted on seeing my phone and it makes my stomach journ I've thought about ending things but the thought of losing lesie is terrifying even with our issues she's been such a big part of my life for ages imagining not having her to share my day with to laugh with to dream with it's almost too much to bear but then I think about what lies ahead if we're struggling now how much worse could it get after we tie the nod what if we have kids and lesli's jealousy spills
over to them what if I end up feeling distrusted and trapped for the rest of my life I could really use some outside Insight on this am I overreacting to lesli's jealousy should I just go ahead and propose hoping that marriage will fix our issues or is it smart to be cautious about committing to someone who doesn't seem to trust me how do I juggle my love for lesli with my worries about her behavior if anyone has been through something similar or has any advice I'd really appreciated I feel like I'm at a Crossroads Ed
it wow I really didn't see this post getting so much attention thanks a ton for all your thoughts and suggestions I've got a lot on my mind now update one it's been about 2 weeks since I last posted and I want to give a shout out to everyone who shared their advice and personal stories your feedback has really made me think but I'm starting to worry that I've taken too long to decide things have taken a serious turn for the worse and I'm still trying to process everything over the past couple of weeks lesli has
been getting more more and more frustrated with my uncertainty about her marriage proposal we've had some pretty tense talks where She's accused me of not being all in on our relationship I've tried to explain that I just need a bit more time to figure things out since marriage is a huge step and I want to make sure we're both on the same page but lesli interprets my hesitation as a sign that I don't love her as deeply as she loves me the vibe in our apartment has been pretty tense to say the least lesli has
been switching between giving me the silent treatment and starting arguments over the tiniest things just last Tuesday she lost it on me because I forgot to put my coffee mug in the dishwasher what should have been the small annoyance turned into a huge fight about how I don't respect her our space I felt like I was tiptoeing around never knowing what might trigger her next then last Thursday I came home from a long day of work totally wiped out from wrestling with some tricky Cod when I walked into the living room I was shocked to
find lesli on the couch with a guy I didn't recognize they were sitting way too close for comfort and I immediately felt uneasy lesie introduced him as almond a coworker from her office she said he was coming over to hang out with us for the evening but something felt off about the whole thing as the night went on I noticed lesli acting differently she was all over almond laughing at everything he said and it seemed like she was trying really hard to be close to him she kept touching his arm while talking and at one
point she even perched on the arm of his chair leaning toward him it was so out of character for her that I didn't know how to respond I tried to jump into the conversation asking Aman about his job and what he liked to do but lesli kept bringing it back to their inside jokes and memories that left me out I felt like a third wheel in my own place then lesli suggested we play a board game while she was setting it up I noticed her leaning in close to almond Whispering something that made him laugh
that little moment made my stomach twist as the evening dragged on I became more and more uneasy lesie was acting like someone completely different flirty giggly and way too animated it felt like I was watching a stranger wearing my girlfriend's face I kept trying to catch her eye silently asking what was up but she completely avoided looking at me when Alan finally left around 11: PM I helped Leslie clean up in silence my mind racing with questions after we were done lesli turned to me with this look that seemed to expect something so she said
her voice casual but with a hint of tension what did you think of Alan I struggled to keep my tone even as I said he seemed nice lesie pushed me a bit more asking if I had noticed anything about her vibe with him I tried to stay chill and said I didn't really feel anything specific just that it was cool to meet her work Buddy this seemed to tick her off and her expression turned sour without saying another word she stormed off to bed leaving me feeling lost and hurt in the living room I hardly
slept that night my mind replaying every moment every touch every laugh shared between lesli and almond I kept telling myself I was overreacting that lesli was just being friendly with a coworker but a nagging doubt wouldn't let me Shake It Off the next morning lesli left for work before I even woke up which was pretty unusual for her I tried to get through my day focusing on work but I couldn't stop thinking about what happened the night before around lunchtime my phone buzzed with a message from lesie my heart sank when I saw it was
a video with trembling hands I hit play and everything Came Crashing Down the video showed lesie in bed with almond the time stamp revealed it was recorded just an hour ago likely during her lunch break I felt nauseous I couldn't believe that lesli the woman I had loved for years would do something so heartless and manipulative I left work early unable to focus and headed home to confront lesie when she got back I was sitting on the couch couch the same spot where she had been flirting with alen the night before I calmly asked her
about the video to my surprise she didn't even try to deny it or show any regret instead lesli launched into a rant about how she wanted me to experience the same pain and jealousy she felt whenever I was around other women she claimed that by making me jealous I'd finally understand how much I loved her and would propose lesie laid it all out saying she'd been scheming for weeks ever since I didn't jump at her marriage proposal she had intentionally built a friendship with almond fully aware he had a crush on her just to pull
off this whole plan I was left speechless the lesle I thought I knew would never stoop to this level as I sat there trying to wrap my head around her words she kept defending her choices she insisted it was all out of love for me that she couldn't stand the idea of losing me she wanted me to feel what she felt every time I chatted with a female coworker a friend that's when I realized our relationship was done I told lesie her actions were Beyond forgiveness and I was ending things she flipped out swinging between
blaming me for ruining her life and pleading for me to change my mind but I held firm I explained how her constant jealousy and possessiveness had been slowly eating away at our relationship for months the sex tape was just a Tipping Point I told her she had turned into a toxic force in my life and I couldn't see myself marrying someone who would go to such lengths I made it clear that a healthy relationship thrives on trust and respect not jealousy and manipulation lesie tried to argue that her actions were out of love but I
wasn't buying it I told her that true love doesn't involve hurting your partner or trying to provoke jealousy it's about being there for each other and tackling issues together while I spoke I started throwing some clothes into a bag I knew I couldn't stick around in the apartment with her after everything that had gone down lesli trailed behind me Swinging From angry accusations to desper please she told me I was overreacting insisting it was just a mistake and that we could work things out but in my heart I felt like a line had been crossed
that couldn't be uncrossed before I walked out I glanced back at lesli one last time I told her I hoped she would seek help because this level of jealousy and insecurity wasn't good for her or any future relationships she yelled at me claiming I was the one with the issue saying if I had just committed to her none of this would have happened as I shut the door behind me I heard something crash against the wall the part of me wanted to turn back and check on her but I knew I had to keep moving
forward that night I crashed at a friend's place my mind spinning from everything that had just gone down the next few days felt like a blur I took some time off work and stayed with my friend trying to make sense of it all lesli flooded my phone with calls and texts swinging from apologies to accusations eventually I had to block her number for my own sanity now I'm in the middle of moving out of our apartment my friend is helping me pack while Leslie's at work it's been a ricer of emotions anger sadness relief and
everything in between I still have feelings for the lesli I knew back in high school and during the early days of our relationship but I realized that person is gone replaced by someone I can't trust or respect anymore as I sort through our shared stuff I keep stumbling upon memories like the coffee mug she got me on our first weekend trip and the Fred photo from the night we moved in together both of us smiling at the camera full of dreams for the future each item around me serves as a Bittersweet reminder of what we
once had and what slipped away I'm working on shifting my focus to the Future and healing from this whole experience it won't be a walk in the park but I truly believe I made the right choice no one should be in a relationship filled with doubt and manipulation I've started searching for a new apartment where I can hit the reset button I've also reached out to a therapist to help me sort through everything that's happened looking back I see that I overlooked a lot of red flags in our relationship and I want to figure out
why I did that so I can avoid falling into the same traps again huge thanks to everyone who shared their advice on my original post even though things didn't turn out as I had hoped your support really helped me gain Clarity and gave me the courage to make this stuff choice I know there's a long journey ahead but for the first time in ages I feel a sense of hope about what's to come update 2 it's been a month since I ended things with lesie and I wanted to share how I'm doing first off a
big thank you to everyone who reached out with support and encouragement your kindness has been a real bright spot during this tough time the first few weeks after the breakup were pretty challenging I moved in with a friend temporarily while I searched for my own place acing up our shared Department was emotionally exhausting every item seemed to carry a memory both good and bad lesle tried to reach out several times swinging between angry messages and tearful apologies but I've stayed strong in my decision to cut all ties lately I've been putting a lot of energy
into self-care and healing I decided to see a therapist to sort through my feelings about my relationship and the breakup having someone neutral to talk to has been super helpful especially with all the mixed emotions that come from ending a long-term relationship my therapist has been guiding me in recognizing the emotional manipulation I experienced with lesli and helping me come up with strategies to set healthier boundaries moving forward I've also started reconnecting with friends I kind of lost touch with while I was with lesli it's been awesome to rebuild those friendships and ReDiscover who I
am outside of a romantic relationship I even picked up rock climbing with some co-workers it's a fun way to push myself both physically and mentally plus the endorphins are a nice bonus work has been a good distraction too I've dived into a new project at work which has kept me busy and given me a sense of achievement my colleagues have been really supportive which means a lot I've been open with my boss about what's been going on and he's been really understanding giving me the flexibility to go to therapy and search for a new place
of course it's not all easy there are still times when I miss lesli or question if I made the right decision but then I think about that video she sent and how manipulated I felt and I realize I did what was best for my own well-being my therapist is helping me navigate those moments of uncertainty and reminding me how crucial it is to prioritize my mental health I'm not quite ready to jump back into dating yet but I'm feeling optimistic about what's ahead this whole experience has really opened my eyes to what I want and
don't want in a relationship I've realized that trust and respect are absolutely essential for me right now I'm taking some time for myself to explore my interests and passions and to create a life that brings me joy on my own if you're in a Sim boat just hanging there things will improve prioritize yourself surround yourself with positive people and don't hesitate to reach out for professional help if you feel you need it you deserve a relationship that's all about trust and respect thanks again to everyone for your support during this time it's been a challenging
Journey but I'm excited about what's next thank you for watching this video for more content like this subscribe I post stories like this from across the internet