DON'T LET PEOPLE KNOW MUCH ABOUT YOU | BRENE BROWN | YOU NEED TO WATCH THIS ]

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We live in a world that often encourages us to share everything: our thoughts, our plans, our dreams. It's like this constant pull to be transparent, to let others in, to reveal everything so we can feel seen or understood. But here's a thought: sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is to keep certain parts of ourselves protected, guarded even, away from the public eye—not because we're hiding, but because we're holding ourselves with respect.
Today, I want to talk about the art of preserving that sacred space, about why we don't always have to let people know everything about us. Let's take a moment to consider what depth really is. When we talk about our depth, we're referring to our experiences, our pain, our growth, our dreams—the complex, layered parts of who we are.
It's all the parts of us that can't be summed up in a single conversation or social media post. It's the quiet resilience we've built through hardships, the wisdom we've gained from mistakes, and the hope we nurture in the face of uncertainty. While it can be tempting to share that depth with others, hoping they'll understand or appreciate it, not everyone is ready or able to hold that kind of space for us.
Imagine your depth as a vast ocean, filled with treasures that have taken years to accumulate. Each wave, each storm, each calm stretch represents different chapters of your journey. Not everyone has the skills to navigate that ocean, and that's okay.
Some people will look at the surface and assume that's all there is to you. Others might dive a little deeper but quickly resurface, overwhelmed by what they encounter. Only a rare few will have the patience, empathy, and understanding to explore those depths with you, to really honor all that you are and have been.
Sometimes, we make the mistake of thinking that if we just share a bit more, explain a bit better, or open up a bit wider, people will finally get us. But our depth isn't meant for everyone's gaze. Just because you've reached a point of self-awareness, of acceptance and growth, doesn't mean that everyone around you has.
Not everyone has done the work to honor the kind of journey that leads to depth. Some people are still walking on the surface themselves, not yet ready to dive into the depths of their own story, let alone someone else's. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be seen or understood; that's a fundamental human desire.
But depth, true honest depth, requires a specific kind of presence from others—one that not everyone can give. It's the presence that comes without judgment, without trying to fix or solve, but simply to witness. And when you offer your depth to those who can't honor it, you risk exposing yourself to misunderstanding, to surface-level judgments, and even to unintentional harm.
When we reveal our innermost thoughts and experiences to people who can't hold space for them, it's like showing a beautiful, intricate painting to someone who can only see in black and white; they simply won't see it the way you do. Respecting your own depth means acknowledging its value. It means understanding that what you've gone through, what you've learned, and who you've become are treasures, not secrets—not things to be hidden, but treasures meant to be protected.
There's a reason we keep our most valuable belongings safe, stored away from just anyone who might happen to walk by. Your depth deserves that same kind of care. It's not about putting up walls; it's about creating boundaries that ensure only those who truly respect you and your journey are invited into those sacred parts of your life.
The beauty of protecting your depth is that it doesn't diminish you or make you smaller; in fact, it makes you stronger. It means that when you do choose to share yourself with someone, you're doing so from a place of empowerment and choice, not from a place of needing to be understood or validated. And that's an incredibly powerful shift.
When you stop needing others to get you, you free yourself from the weight of their expectations and judgments. You no longer bend, change, or shrink yourself to fit someone else's perspective. Instead, you stand fully in your own truth, recognizing that while some people may only see a small part of you, you know and cherish the whole.
So remember: your depth is not for everyone, and that's not a loss; it's a gift. It's a reminder to choose carefully, to invest in relationships where your depth is appreciated, and to hold your story with the reverence it deserves. Not everyone is meant to dive into your depths.
Let them watch the waves ripple on the surface; let them see only what's readily visible. And let yourself be at peace with knowing that the right people, the ones who are truly meant to be in your life, will find their way to those deeper parts of you when the time is right. In a world that prizes openness and visibility, we can sometimes feel that every part of us needs to be exposed, shared, and explained.
But there's power, there's wisdom, and there's peace in keeping some parts of ourselves untouched, unshared, and protected from the world's curious gaze. Some aspects of our inner lives are still tender, still forming, still finding their own shape, and they deserve the time and space to mature away from others’ eyes. Think of yourself like a gardener tending to a delicate, newly planted flower: you wouldn't dig it up repeatedly to show everyone its roots; you wouldn't expose it to harsh sunlight or extreme weather before it's had a chance to grow strong.
Some aspects of who we are need that same gentleness, that same protection from exposure. Just like that plant, parts of us need space to flourish quietly before we share them with the world. Bring them to the surface.
When we keep some parts of ourselves untouched, we allow those areas to grow without interference, criticism, or judgment. Not everything needs to be shared to be real or valuable. Sometimes, keeping a thought, hope, or a dream to yourself is a way of nurturing it.
When we share our raw, unpolished parts prematurely, we invite external opinions and judgments that can impact how we see ourselves. Imagine opening up about a new aspiration to someone who doesn't see the world the same way you do; their response might be skeptical, dismissive, or even unintentionally hurtful, and those words can plant seeds of doubt that weren't there before. By keeping these parts of ourselves untouched, we're safeguarding them from influence until they're strong enough to stand on their own.
We live in an era where privacy often feels undervalued. With the ability to share instantly on social media, the pressure to let others in on every detail of our lives can be overwhelming. We might feel obligated to perform our lives, to curate a story that others can follow.
But remember: your life isn't a show; it's a journey, and it doesn't need to be broadcast to be meaningful. Holding certain parts of yourself close is a form of respect and self-compassion. It's saying, "This is mine, and it deserves my care before I share it with the world.
" Keeping some parts of ourselves untouched also allows us to process experiences on our own terms. Think about how deeply personal growth can be—the insights, the breakthroughs, the revelations we have about ourselves. If we constantly share these insights, we might start looking for validation outside ourselves, measuring our progress by how others respond rather than by how it feels within.
By choosing to keep some parts untouched, we're able to honor our own sense of self without the need for external feedback. It's also important to recognize that some of our stories aren't ready to be told. We may have wounds that are still healing, uncertainties that we're still wrestling with, or hopes that are still fragile.
When we share these parts too soon, we run the risk of exposing them to the harsh realities of outside perspectives before they're ready. Letting these parts remain untouched for a while gives us the chance to explore them fully, to understand them on a deeper level, and to decide what they mean for us personally before anyone else weighs in. Choosing what to share and what to hold back also allows us to maintain a sense of agency.
When you decide to keep certain feelings or dreams to yourself, you're reinforcing your autonomy. You're setting boundaries and reminding yourself that you have control over your own narrative. You get to decide which parts of your life are open to the world and which parts are reserved solely for you.
This isn't about isolation or secrecy; it's about cultivating an inner sanctuary where you can return to find clarity and peace. In keeping some parts untouched, we're reminded that our worth isn't tied to how much we reveal. There is incredible strength and quiet confidence in knowing that not everything needs to be explained or understood by others.
We can find joy, fulfillment, and even growth in the private corners of our lives. Our unshared dreams and thoughts are no less valuable or meaningful because they aren't publicly displayed; they remain ours to shape, nurture, and cherish. As we go through life, we'll meet people who are genuinely curious, who want to know us deeply and intimately.
When those people come along, they might be privileged to see some of those untouched parts. But even then, we get to choose how much we reveal and when—not out of fear or mistrust, but out of love and reverence for ourselves. Keeping certain aspects of our lives private is an act of honoring our personal journey, of respecting the sanctity of our own growth and transformation.
So let's embrace the power of keeping some parts untouched. Let's trust that the world doesn't need access to every corner of who we are for us to be whole. And let's give ourselves the space and grace to grow quietly, knowing that our worth, our depth, and our beauty are not diminished by what we choose to keep to ourselves.
The untouched parts of us are sacred; they're where we find resilience, courage, and a sense of self that is unshaken by the noise of the outside world. In a world that often feels noisy and demanding, creating a safe space for yourself is one of the most empowering things you can do. A safe space is a place, either physical or emotional, where you can let down your guard, reconnect with who you truly are, and process life without interference.
It's where you go to breathe deeply, to reflect, to explore your thoughts and feelings honestly, and to nurture the parts of yourself that need care and attention. In this space, you don't need to impress, defend, or explain; you simply get to be. For some of us, this safe space might look like a physical environment: a cozy corner at home, a quiet spot in nature, or even a simple daily routine that gives us peace and grounding.
For others, it's more about an emotional boundary we set for ourselves—a mental retreat where we can turn inward and feel at ease. Whatever form it takes, creating a safe space allows us to become our own sanctuary, a place where we are fully accepted and where we honor our own needs. When we don't have a safe space, it's easy to feel constantly exposed and vulnerable.
Life has a way of throwing challenges our way, and without a place to retreat and recharge, we can quickly feel drained and overwhelmed. We might find ourselves reacting to things we wouldn't usually react to, taking on. .
. The stress and emotions of others, or becoming entangled in dramas that have nothing to do with our own journey, can be overwhelming. A safe space acts as a buffer against all of this—a place to step back, reconnect, and remind ourselves of what really matters.
Creating this safe space also involves setting boundaries, which can be challenging, especially if we're used to giving a lot of ourselves to others. It might mean saying no to invitations or requests that drain us, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. It could mean limiting the time we spend around people who constantly need something from us but don't replenish us in return.
Boundaries are not about shutting people out; they're about choosing to prioritize the people and activities that nurture our well-being. They remind us that we deserve to have a space that's free from judgment, expectations, and emotional demands. In this safe space, we learn to separate who we are from what the world expects of us.
We can take off the masks we wear in different roles—the professional, the friend, the caregiver—and simply exist as ourselves. Here, there's no pressure to perform or to meet others' standards; it's a place to reconnect with our true values, our real desires, and our authentic selves. In this space, we are able to explore our emotions fully without feeling the need to justify or defend them.
We can ask ourselves the tough questions, confront our fears, and find our own answers, knowing that this process is for us alone. This personal space we create is also where we can cultivate self-compassion. In the world outside, we're often hard on ourselves; we push ourselves to meet deadlines, to be “on” all the time, to be everything for everyone.
But in this safe space, we learn to soften our inner voice, to forgive ourselves for mistakes, and to honor our efforts even when things don't go perfectly. We remind ourselves that growth is not always linear, that setbacks are part of the journey, and that we are worthy of grace just as much as anyone else. In this space, we give ourselves permission to pause, to let go of unrealistic expectations, and to simply be enough as we are.
Creating a safe space is also an act of reclaiming our energy. When you retreat into this sanctuary, you're not shutting out the world out of fear; you're choosing to focus on what you need to thrive. This doesn't mean that you don't care about others or that you're isolating yourself.
In fact, by taking this time to replenish and reflect, you're more available to the people who truly matter. A safe space helps you stay grounded, which, in turn, allows you to engage with others from a place of fullness rather than dependence. Instead of pouring from an empty cup, you're able to give genuinely because you've taken the time to refill your own.
In your safe space, you're also free to dream, to imagine, and to plan without any outside influence. Sometimes, when we share our dreams too early, we risk being swayed by others' doubts, fears, or limitations. But in this private space, you can visualize your future without interference.
You can think big, explore new possibilities, and entertain ideas that might seem impractical or unrealistic to others. Here, there's no need to hold back or to second-guess yourself. This space belongs to you and you alone, and within it, anything is possible.
In a world that constantly craves validation—from social media likes to the unspoken expectations of friends, family, or colleagues—it's easy to fall into the trap of letting approval define our story. There's something comforting about the nod of approval, the validation that says, "Yes, you're on the right path. " But if we're not careful, we can end up living a version of our lives that's more about others' approval than our own truth.
When we let approval become our compass, we lose sight of who we truly are and what we genuinely desire. We risk shaping our story based on what others want from us, not on what we want for ourselves. Approval often feels like acceptance; when people approve of our choices, it's like they're saying, "You're doing it right.
" But here's the thing: everyone has their own version of what “right” looks like. If you start basing your decisions on what others approve of, you might end up living someone else's idea of a fulfilling life—not your own. What feels right to your best friend, your sibling, or your mentor may not be what resonates with your soul.
Each of us has a unique path, and only we can know what truly aligns with who we are and where we're meant to go. Think about how much energy we spend trying to please others, striving to meet their expectations, sometimes even at the expense of our own values or dreams. We might pick a career because it's what our family expects, stay in relationships because they look good from the outside, or pursue goals that don't resonate deeply with us just because we think they'll impress someone.
But here's the truth: no amount of approval from others will fill the emptiness that comes from living out of alignment with ourselves. Approval is like a quick burst of energy; it feels good in the moment, but it doesn't sustain us in the long run. Only true self-acceptance and alignment can do that.
When we let approval define our story, we often ignore our own inner voice. We let the noise of the outside world drown out the quiet truth within us. Think of your inner voice as a compass, a gentle guide that knows what you truly want and need.
But the more we tune into others' opinions, the quieter that voice becomes, until we can hardly hear it at all. We lose touch with what we actually enjoy, what makes us feel alive. us feel alive and what brings us joy.
Our story begins to feel scripted by others, and soon we find ourselves wondering whose life we're really living. Living for approval also makes us more vulnerable to criticism; when our self-worth is tied to others' validation, we become overly sensitive to what they think. A single negative comment or disapproving look can feel devastating because we've allowed others to become the judge of our worth.
Instead of feeling grounded in our own identity, we're like leaves blowing in the wind, moving in whatever direction approval or disapproval takes us. But when we define our story from within, criticism loses its power. We're able to see it for what it is: one person's perspective, not the ultimate truth about who we are or what we're capable of.
There's also a risk that living for approval can make us play small. When we let others' expectations define us, we might choose paths that feel safe—paths that will be easily accepted by others—rather than the bold or unconventional paths that truly excite us. Maybe we've always wanted to start a business, pursue a creative passion, or move to a new city.
But if we fear disapproval or judgment, we might hold back, convincing ourselves that our dreams are too risky or unrealistic. In doing so, we limit our potential and dim our own light. We begin to live a life of "what ifs" rather than one of brave exploration.
When we stop letting approval define our story, we free ourselves to explore our true purpose. Imagine the weight lifted when you're no longer bound by others' expectations. Imagine pursuing your passions, goals, and values simply because they resonate with you, not because you're trying to impress someone else.
This doesn't mean you stop caring about others or that you never seek advice, but it does mean you prioritize your own inner compass over the opinions of those around you. Freeing yourself from the need for approval is an act of self-trust. It's saying to yourself, "I believe in my ability to make choices that are right for me.
" It doesn't mean you'll never make mistakes or that you'll always know exactly what to do, but it does mean you're willing to stand by your decisions. You're willing to own your story—flaws, risks, uncertainties, and all—because it's yours. When you trust yourself in this way, you become resilient.
You no longer need the approval of others as a safety net because you've built your own sense of security from within. Our lives become infinitely richer when we stop living for approval. We start attracting relationships, opportunities, and experiences that align with who we truly are rather than who we think we should be.
We find ourselves in the company of people who appreciate us for our authentic selves, not for the roles we play to keep them happy. We gain the courage to take risks, to try new things, and to pursue dreams that might not make sense to anyone else but us. And in doing so, we live a story that is genuine—a story that feels like our own.
So let's release ourselves from the need for approval. Let's take back our power and tell a story that comes from our own heart. Let's dare to live in a way that feels right for us, even if it doesn't make sense to everyone else, because in the end, the only person who truly needs to approve of your life is you.
Approval from others may come and go, but the satisfaction of living a life that feels true and meaningful to you is something that no one can take away. Don't let approval define your story; let your heart, your dreams, and your values do that. Let them guide you toward a life that, while maybe unconventional or unexpected, is uniquely yours.
And remember, there is no greater freedom than living a life where your story is shaped not by the applause of others but by the quiet contentment of knowing you stayed true to yourself. In a world that values loudness, quick responses, and constant connectivity, silence is often underrated. Yet silence can be one of our most powerful tools for finding clarity, resilience, and strength.
Silence isn't just the absence of noise; it's a state of being where we can connect with our inner thoughts, calm our racing minds, and gain perspective on the things that matter most. In moments of silence, we can uncover truths, heal old wounds, and find the courage to face challenges with a clear, unwavering spirit. In silence, we give ourselves the space to process our emotions without the distractions of the outside world.
Too often, we feel pressure to react instantly to everything—to provide answers, to share opinions, to constantly do something. But real strength often comes from our ability to pause, reflect, and wait. Silence allows us to take a step back and see situations from a wider perspective; rather than reacting impulsively, we can choose responses that are thoughtful and intentional.
Silence teaches us patience, an invaluable quality that helps us respond to life's challenges with grace rather than haste. Consider moments when you felt overwhelmed—perhaps by a difficult conversation, an unexpected setback, or an emotional conflict. In these times, our first impulse might be to jump into action to solve the problem immediately.
But sometimes the best thing we can do is to sit with our feelings in silence. By embracing silence, we give ourselves permission to fully experience and understand our emotions rather than pushing them away or trying to fix them too quickly. In this quiet space, we often find a surprising strength, a kind of resilience that isn't about fighting or resisting but about acceptance and understanding.
Silence is also a pathway to self-awareness. In the quiet, we can listen to our own inner voice, which often gets drowned out. By the noise of others' expectations, opinions, and judgments in a society that constantly tells us who to be, silence is where we can rediscover who we are.
It's where we can hear the whispers of our own hopes, desires, and truths. The strength that comes from self-awareness is profound because, when we truly understand ourselves, we become more grounded. We're less likely to be swayed by external pressures because we know what feels right for us on a deeper level.
Silence can also strengthen our relationships. In a conversation, silence is powerful because it allows space for real listening. When we're not rushing to fill every pause or respond immediately, we're able to truly hear what the other person is saying.
Silence allows us to read between the lines, to understand the feelings behind the words, and to respond in a way that is compassionate and empathetic. In our relationships, silence can be a form of respect; it shows that we're willing to give others the space to express themselves fully. By practicing silence, we strengthen our connections and deepen our bonds.
Moreover, silence allows us to detach from the constant need for validation. When we're quiet, we can distance ourselves from the desire to prove ourselves to others, to seek approval, or to constantly defend our choices. In this silent space, we realize that our worth isn't tied to how well we perform or how much we impress others.
We begin to see that strength is often quiet, steady, and self-assured—not loud or attention-seeking. Silence helps us develop a quiet confidence, a resilience that doesn't need external reinforcement to feel real. Silence is also a profound source of creativity and insight.
Some of the greatest ideas, innovations, and solutions come to us not in moments of activity, but in quiet reflection. When we allow ourselves to be still, we open up space for new thoughts to emerge. Our minds have room to wander, to explore, and to connect ideas in unexpected ways.
This creative silence is a source of strength because it helps us approach challenges with a fresh perspective; rather than feeling stuck or limited, we're able to see possibilities that we might have missed in the noise and busyness of daily life. Silence can also be an act of self-protection in situations where we might feel pressured to explain, defend, or justify ourselves. Silence can be our way of preserving our dignity; not every criticism needs a response, and not every challenge to our character requires a rebuttal.
Sometimes silence says more than words ever could; it's a way of saying, "I don't need to prove myself to anyone. " In choosing silence, we communicate that our worth isn't up for debate and that we don't need to engage with negativity to feel secure in who we are. In moments of conflict, silence can be disarming.
When faced with anger or criticism, silence can diffuse tension rather than escalate it. Responding with calm silence instead of reacting with defensiveness or anger gives us a moment to regain our composure and approach the situation with empathy and understanding. In this way, silence allows us to bring peace into potentially turbulent situations.
By choosing not to engage in conflict, we can actually take control of the interaction, guiding it in a calmer, more constructive direction. This requires a deep inner strength and self-control—qualities that silence helps us cultivate. There's also a spiritual aspect to silence.
For centuries, people have sought silence as a way to connect with something greater than themselves, whether through meditation, prayer, or simply being in nature. In silence, we often feel a profound sense of peace and clarity. We're reminded that life isn't just about rushing from one task to the next, but about experiencing moments of stillness and presence.
Silence reconnects us to the present moment, grounding us in a way that strengthens our resilience and our sense of purpose. We begin to see life with more clarity and gratitude, and we approach our challenges with a calm centered strength. In our noisy, fast-paced world, choosing silence is a radical act of self-care.
It's a commitment to our own well-being, to our mental clarity, and to our emotional health. Silence helps us recharge, protecting us from burnout and allowing us to return to the world with a renewed sense of purpose. In this way, silence isn't just a retreat; it's a preparation for life.
It's where we gather our strength, refocus our energy, and remind ourselves of what truly matters. So let's embrace silence as a source of strength. Let's make time for moments of quiet reflection where we can listen to ourselves, regain our perspective, and find peace in simply being.
Silence isn't a sign of weakness; it's a profound, courageous choice to go within, to find strength in our own presence, and to honor our need for rest and renewal. In silence, we discover a resilience that doesn't depend on the outside world—a resilience that is ours alone. Living in alignment with your values is one of the most powerful ways to create a life that feels fulfilling, meaningful, and true to who you are.
Values are like an inner compass; they are the beliefs and principles that matter most to us, that shape our decisions, guide our actions, and influence how we interact with others. When we live in harmony with our values, we feel a sense of integrity, purpose, and satisfaction that can't be easily shaken. Living in alignment means understanding and honoring what's truly important to you, even when it might be challenging or unpopular.
It's about choosing your own path and having the courage to stand by it. Often, it's easy to say we know our values, but living them is another story. It's not uncommon to feel pressure from society, family, or friends to live in a way that doesn't fully align with who we are.
Might be tempted to compromise on our values to fit in, to gain approval, or to avoid conflict; but when we drift away from what matters most to us, we begin to feel disconnected and unfulfilled. There's a subtle but powerful tension that builds up when we compromise our values, even in small ways. We may tell ourselves it's easier to go along with a crowd, but deep down we feel that something is missing, that we're not being true to ourselves.
Living in alignment with our values often requires self-awareness, and this can mean taking the time to deeply explore what those values actually are. Sometimes we inherit beliefs or principles from our families, culture, or environment that don't truly resonate with us. The values we adopt by default may not actually be the values that feel right to our hearts.
So, one of the first steps is to ask ourselves: What do I truly believe in? What principles do I want to guide my life? This self-reflection isn't always easy, as it may require us to confront uncomfortable truths about what we've been prioritizing and what we may need to change.
Living in alignment with your values also means having the strength to say no when necessary. When you know what you stand for, you don't have to say yes to every request or agree to situations that feel wrong to you. Saying no can be uncomfortable, especially if it goes against what others expect from you.
But when you honor your own values, you create boundaries that protect your energy, integrity, and peace of mind. Every time you say no to something that doesn't align with your values, you're saying yes to a life that feels truer and more authentic. Staying true to your values is also a practice in resilience.
Life will inevitably present situations where you'll be tested, where sticking to your values might come with risks or sacrifices. Sometimes, choosing what aligns with your beliefs may mean turning down opportunities, leaving relationships, or standing alone. These decisions can be difficult, but they are also empowering.
Living in alignment isn't about taking the easy path; it's about choosing the path that feels right, even when it requires courage. It's about trusting yourself enough to know that staying true to your values will ultimately lead to a life that is more fulfilling and meaningful. When you live in alignment with your values, your actions start to reflect your deepest beliefs.
Your relationships are more authentic because they're built on mutual respect and honesty. You attract people who appreciate you for who you are, rather than who you think you need to be. Your choices feel more purposeful because they're guided by what matters most to you, rather than feeling scattered or pulled in different directions.
You have a clear sense of direction and focus. Living by your values creates a sense of harmony between who you are and how you show up in the world. Alignment with your values also brings a deep sense of self-respect.
When you consistently act in ways that reflect your beliefs, you build a stronger relationship with yourself. You start to trust yourself more, knowing that you're living according to your own principles. This self-respect isn't about perfection; it's about knowing that you're doing your best to live in a way that honors who you are.
Living in alignment with your values is about building a life that resonates with authenticity, courage, and purpose. It's choosing to act in ways that reflect your deepest beliefs, even when it's challenging, even when it means going against the grain. When we honor our values, we create a foundation of integrity that grounds us through life's ups and downs.
This isn't a one-time decision; it's a continual practice, a commitment to ourselves to live with intentionality and clarity. When we choose to live aligned with what truly matters to us, we feel a sense of peace, of inner strength that can't be easily shaken. Our lives begin to feel more meaningful and we find that, rather than feeling drained or conflicted, we're energized and fulfilled.
We start attracting relationships and experiences that reflect our authentic selves, and we approach challenges with a deep sense of resilience, knowing that we're standing on solid ground.
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