Found Out that My Wife was Having an Affair with Her Boss in Our Bed, So I Hired His Ex-Wife's...

Before we start the story, I tried my best to make this into something coherent and fun to listen to. Most of the posts from this person is all over the place and deleted from the subreddits. Found out that my wife was having an affair with her boss in our bed. So, I hired his ex-wife's lawyer to make sure to make him pay for everything he had done to both our families. D-Day was 10 days ago 129. I won't forget that day now either. Cause of the day after our anniversary. Since then, I have been reading

a lot of posts on this sub. It has been helpful to know I'm not the only one. Now I thinking posting what happened will help me out. It's going to be long cause I think details matter and I've been playing it over and over in my head every day. Our story. Been with my wife 29 years. Married 26. I'm 51 M. Her 49F. Two grown kids 24S 22D. Meet in college. Dated. Feel in love. Married and thought what I believed was a great marriage. Did a lot of things together. Talked all the time. communicated about

things that were troublesome. Both of us had successful careers that we both supported each other in along the way. Great love life. Maybe not as often as when we were younger, but just as passionate. She's in it and I own a small landscaping company that employs 75 people that I started after graduation. She's been working from home a lot since co and we have been talking about my easing out of the day-to-day operations and are going part-time so we can spend more time together and travel, etc. Now that the kids are established, looking back, there

were no red flags that I've read so much about. No weird texting, no guarding her phone, no clothing changes, no unusual behavior, no nights out with people from work. When she did go out, it was friends and family. Andy always heard from someone the next day how I should have come, but I wanted her to go out without me and I enjoying being by myself doing stuff in my shop. She always was home early. To say I was blindsided is an understatement. Dday. The week before, I had booked a weekend at a romantic bed and

breakfast owned by some friends. Our state is open. Winter festival was that weekend. I leave work early to surprise her and tell her to pack a bag. We're going away for our anniversary. I pull my truck in the driveway and find a strange car there. Right away, I just knew. Don't know why, but I did. I'm hoping and praying I'm wrong, but my gut is telling I'm not. I sit there a while wondering what to do. Leave and talk to her later. Leave and pretend I didn't see it. Not sure what to do. I'm shaking

so bad I can't see straight. When I have something at work I have to do that might be uncomfortable, I always tell myself, "Man up. Get this over with." Suddenly, shaking stops and feel very calm. No idea how cuz inside I'm a wreck. I sneak in the back door and my black lab is laying there with a sad face like he knows instead of jumping on me. Man, I love that dog. He stays as I quietly go up the stairs. When I get upstairs, I can hear what is going on in our bedroom. I get

to the door and open it and see her boss on top of my wife. I stand there for a second and yell out, "Surprise." The [ __ ] show that followed would be laughable if it didn't hurt so much. He rolls off trying to get out of bed, but he gets tangled up in the sheets. My wife is screaming, "OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG." And trying to cover up, but can't cause he's still tangled up. He finally gets out and starts looking for his clothes only there on the other side of the bed. This just hit

me in about the same spot where mine used to end up. Don't know why, but I beat him to them and grab them. My wife is crying. I'm so sorry. Over and over. I back up to the door and stand there and he's standing next to the bed naked. I grab the big easy chair out of the corner and pull it to the door and sit down. He asks for his clothes and I say no and toss him my wife's robe from the back of the door. He starts to walk towards me. Now, even though

I'm 51, I'm in good shape. 6' 3" in 240. Years of going to the gym and working in landscaping have seen to that. I look at him and say, "If you get any closer, it's not going to end well for either of us. You'll be in the hospital and I'll be in jail. So, why don't you just sit down?" Wife is now sobbing into the pillow and he sits down. After an uncomfortable silence, he asks, "What now?" My reply is, "I have no idea." Wife is still crying a little but sits up. Finally, I pull

out my phone and tell them that they are going to tell me everything while I record it all. They look at each and my wife asks what do I mean everything. I say everything. How it started, how long this been going on, when, where, hotels, dinners, etc. Everything. My wife says this is the only time to which I yell BS. There is no way you'd be comfortable enough to bring him to our bed if this hadn't been going on for some time. If you lie to me again, I'm walking out that door and finding a

divorce lawyer. She starts crying again. So, for the next 10 to 15 minutes, it all comes out. been going on for over nine months. Started with him, flirting with her, etc., till he asked her to lunch and she went. A few drinks later, they were at a hotel. She came home to me that night like nothing happened. She swears that it was killing her and she wanted to tell me but didn't know how. Again, I call BS. If it was killing you, it would not have been so easy to keep it going. They even went

to a week-long convention for work that I used to go with her, too. She told me company policy changed and spouses couldn't go anymore. I put my phone away in more silence. Then an idea hits me. I look through his clothes for his phone and ask him for passcode. He actually gives it to me. So I start going through his phone. I find some pictures of a woman I assume is his wife and ask her name. Carol. She's very pretty but not as pretty as my Ashley. I tell him more picture of kids. Find out

he has three. And finally a family picture of all of them. I hold up the phone and say, "A beautiful family. Why did you throw it all away for a tumble with my wife?" his reply. What do you mean? Throw it all away. Me, you really think Carol isn't going to find out him? How is she going to find out? Me? I'm going to call her right now. He stand up and says, "No, you can't." My wife screams out, "Please, you can't do this to him. I lost it. Can't do this to him. You've destroyed

me, our family, our friends, our future, and broken my heart. And you're worried about him." I'm shaking again, trying not to let her see cry, but I can't hold together anymore. I fall back in the chair and start sobbing. She tries to come over to me, but I look at her say, "Stay the hell away from me." After a while, I calm down and look at his phone again. He again says, "Please don't. I'm begging you." I swear I'll tell her. "Yeah, right." I reply. He's standing there pleading with me not to as I find

her number and decide FaceTime would be even better. She answers in high sweet looks surprised and says, "Who are you? Is my husband okay?" He is for now, but won't be in a minute. I flip the screen to show him standing there in my wife's robe. I say, "I believe you know him." The room he's standing in is my bedroom. The flowered robe he's wearing belongs to this woman swinging the phone to catch my wife trying to pull the sheets over her head, but too late. That's my wife and I came home early today to

find them having sex. I truly feel sorry for her and lousy for how I did it. She starts crying and he tries the honey I'm so sorry. I can explain it is just one time, etc. routine. I tell her not to believe a word that it's been going on for over 9 months and that I spent the last 15 minutes recording all the details. they were willing to share. I tell her I'm going to text her my number and she should send me her email and I'll send her the video. I give him the phone

and I hear her tell him when he gets home there will be a bag packed outside and if he tries to come in the house she'll call the police and hangs up. I toss him his clothes and he leaves after he's dressed. Now it's just me and my wife. She looks at me and starts to cry saying she is so sorry, never meant to hurt me. Can I forgive her? It didn't mean anything. All the usual cheaters BS. I look at her, tell her to pack a bag and get the hell out my house. I

go downstairs and pour a drink. I'm sitting on the couch when she comes downstairs. She starts towards me and I say, "Just stop." She asks if we talk about this and I tell her, "Maybe, just maybe, but not now." I tell her, "It's going to be really hard to not look for a divorce lawyer." And she starts crying again. She looks at me and I know and I love you is coming. I say, "Don't you dare say that right now cause I don't think I will ever believe it anymore." more crying as she turns and

walks out the door. Seeing her crying walking out the door, my entire life leaving, I break down and fall on the floor, shaking, sobbing uncontrollably. No idea how long, but I finally sit down, still crying, and call my best friend. I try to speak, but start crying again, and can't get the words out. He asks what's wrong, but I can't talk. He asks if I'm at home, and I kind of grunt, yay, and says he'll be right there. 30 minutes later, he's in my house. I'm still crying. I give him my phone with a video

up and he proceeds to watch. I can't bear to hear it and get us both a drink. He comes in the kitchen and takes me drink away and dumps them both saying this isn't going to help you. Tells me I can't stay here tonight alone and go upstairs and pack a bag. I come downstairs and he has my lab on a leash and we go to his house. That was 10 days ago and I still feel like absolute [ __ ] I know this was long. Thanks for reading this far. I will try to update

later. Update again. Let me say how much I appreciate all the advice and support I've received from this community. I owe each and every one of you a debt of gratitude I will never be able to repay. I can only say thank you and try to reply to all the comments. The support/ encouragement has been very helpful. Many of you have said the way I handled the confrontation so well shows strength, but right now I feel anything but just really going through the motions. All the advice has been outstanding and is helping me move forward.

Second, the reason for this post and my original was because I was reaching out for help. Believe me, there was plenty given. The reason my first post was removed, I was told. Was it because two has too much storytelling and not asking for support? I will try to keep this short, but I believe details matter. If you didn't see the original post, I've been told it has made its way to YouTube. Use title for search, I guess. So, I am beginning to realize that there is no way to come back from this and I'm 99%

sure of what my decision will be. Just can't get the thought out of my head that I'll be throwing away 29 years of our lives. Even now, I can't bring myself to type STBXW and still refer as my wife. WTF is wrong with me. Help. The night of D-Day, she went to our sons and his wife's place. He called wondering what was wrong and why I threw mom out. Told her she needed to tell him or I would. He knows. I went to best friend's house. Daughter was supposed to dogsit and comes home to find

no dog. Eventually, she shows up at BF's place and wants to know what's wrong. I tell her the hurt on her face was worse than seeing wife in bed with boss and killed me. She leaves with dog to house and gets fiance to come over. Saturday morning, I tell BF I'm going to spend a few days at cabin. Can he take me home? He agrees. Good idea. And I pack up, grab dog and go. Spend time there walking in the woods with dog and splitting firewood. Good workout and therapy. Stay sat, son. Drive home Monday.

On Monday, I started the phone calls. Bank, credit cards, lawyer I use if I need for company. He recommends someone. I call and see her on Thursday. Play her the recording. She's extremely confident and I hire her. Ask about letting wife/boss HR department know and she thinks we should hold off. I'm home sleeping on couch. Can't bring myself to go in bedroom except for clothes. Friday son calls to tell me mom can't stay there anymore. Making it hard on him and his wife. Is there any way wife can come home? I haven't spoken to wife

since D-Day. I give in and say okay. She comes back on Saturday. I go back to cabin. Cold as hell, but I manage. Monday, I go straight to office. People there love my dog and he gets spoiled. Finally go home Monday night. When I see my wife, the only thing I see is what I saw when I open the bedroom door on D-Day. Don't think I'll ever get past that. Any ideas? Nothing is said. I change and go to my office in basement. try to stay busy. Finally, watch TV in basement. She comes downstairs and

asks if we can about this. I tell not yet I'm not ready and please leave me alone while she's here. I fall asleep in recliner, get up early and head to gym, shower there and go to work, go home late. That is my routine rest of the week. Friday, my HR manager asks how I'm doing. I told her what had happened earlier and saw a she suggested yesterday. She tells me I need to stop sleeping in chairs and on couch. Buy a new bed. She tells me great idea. I take dollar out what's left and

join account wife's half and go get new bed. Delivery is sad. I go to office and wait for call telling me they will be there in 30 minutes. I stop and pick up a couple of subs for delivery guys and wait down the block. They pull up and I meet them. Tell them lunch is on me and give them each $25 to do me a favor. I ask them to not load up old mattress and can they come back later and pick it up. lean it up against tree near street plaza. They look confused and

I tell them to give me five minutes and come in. They'll understand. Now I thought of burning old mattress in driveway but didn't want to clean that up. I go upstairs and remove bedding. While I'm doing this, something comes back to me that I have to find out about. I take a can of blaze orange spray paint that we use for marking properties we are working on and spray wife cheated on me in our bed in big letters. Guys come in and wife asks what's going on. I tell her I can't sleep in that bed

anymore and that she bought me a new one. She acts mad but goes back downstairs. New bed set up. Guys leave old mattress where I asked. Some time passes and she tells me that they left old mattress in yard. They're coming back for it. I say trying not to laugh. Still don't think she knows but entire neighborhood does. Valentine's Day. She tries to be romantic and initiate intimacy. I tell her I wouldn't f her now if she was the last woman on earth. She comes back with, "We don't f. We make love" in an upset

tone. I reply that we haven't made love since she started effing her boss. She looks shocked. Did she think I'd forget? I just am at a loss for understanding. What is going on in her mind? I decide now is as good a time as any to talk and tell her to sit down in living room. I ask her what she wants to do. Are we going to try and fix this or should we divorce and move on? Don't know why I even offered this. Guess I'm stuck on throwing away 29 years. Please talk me out

of this. She says she is willing to do anything I ask to fix this and begs me to forgive her. I tell her she need to come clean to everyone in our family, starting with her parents and my mom. Dad's been gone for 3 years, including how I found out. Kids don't know this detail. They are coming over tonight. Update later how that goes. That's where I'm at now. Still numb from everything and really fighting urge to go kick her boss's ass. Still need advice. When will this get any better or is this my new

normal? Update since posts have been removed. Short update as to what has happened since day. Then a few more details. Thanks again to everyone for the support. I spent D-Day night at friend's house. Wife goes to sons and his wife's place. Both kids know why mom was kicked out. Affair but no details. Sad. Morning drive to cabin with dog. Stay till Monday. Go to office on Monday and start phone calls. Bank, CC, etc. call lawyer I use if I need for my company and he recommends divorce attorney. I call her and meet her on Thursday.

She says all the right things and I hire her. I talk to my HR manager and tell her everything. Close professional friend. She recommends someone for IC and I call and make appointment. Have seen her twice and it's helping. Friday week after D-Day son calls and says it's awkward having mom in their small apartment. Is there any way she can come home? I give in. She comes back sad, but I'm on my way to cabin just to show much I didn't want to be around her. It was below zero the whole weekend with night lows

in the minus 20 toous 25 range. Monday I drive straight to office. People at work love my lab. He gets spoiled. I stay late, go home and can't even look at her. Go watch TV in basement. She comes down and asks if we can talk about this. I tell her I'm not ready and leave me alone while she's here. Friday HR manager asks how I'm doing. Lousy, I tell her. Been sleeping on couch or recliner in basement. She suggests I buy a new bed. Great idea. I go pick one out. Deliveries is sad. I thought

about burning old one like some have suggested, but don't want to clean up mess. I go to work and wait for call that ruck will be there in 30 minutes. I pick up two subs for delivery guys and wait for them. I tell them lunch is on me and give them each $25 if they can do me a favor. Leave old mattress up against tree next to street and come back for it at the end of the day. They look confused, but I tell them to give me 5 minutes before they come and they will

get it. I go in, remove bedding. Something clicks that I have to ask about. I take a can of blaze orange spray paint that we use for marking properties we are working on and spray in big letters. Wife cheated in our bed on mattress. Guys follow through and leave it against tree. Wife says later, they forgot to take old one away. I tell her they are coming back for I don't think she knows what I did. Valentine's Day, she tries to be all romantic. makes nice dinner which I don't eat. Tries to initiate intimacy. I

tell her I wouldn't f her if she were the last woman on earth. She replies we don't f we make love. I tell her we haven't made love since she decide to f her boss. Can't really describe the look on her face. She goes to kitchen trying not to cry. I figure now's as good a time as any and tell her to come in LR and sit down. I ask her what she wants to do. I know, stupid move. Should we just divorce and move on or should we work to fix this? She tells me

she's willing to do anything to fix this to make it up to me. Not sure how she can make it up to me, but I tell her needs to come clean with rest of family before we can try and fix anything. She agrees. That was the last update that was removed. 217. My mom, dad's been gone 3 years. Her folks, sister, and Bill come over that night. We all sit in LR and I try to get as far away from her as possible. They start in with a what's wrong? We love you. It will all

be okay. Thinking someone is really sick. I look at her and say, "This story isn't going to tell itself." Her dad looks at me and I swear his eyes are saying, "Oh no," like he knows what's coming. I have to give her credit. She cries her way through and spilled her guts, including me walking in on them in our bed. After a long uncomfortable silence, she says, "Somebody say something." I say, "What are they supposed to say? That you are a horrible person? That you hurt me worse than you know. Ripped my heart out? That

you've thrown away 29 years? Ruined our family? Not to mention what you two [ __ ] have done to his family." Was the sex really that good? That it was worth all that? I just kept going. All the anger, hatred, and betrayal I've been holding inside comes spilling out. I really didn't know I could be so cruel. Her mom finally says that's enough. She says that no, she deserves all of it. And runs upstairs crying. Mom gets up to go after her and dad says, "No, leave her alone. She needs to suffer for a while

before this can get any better." We talk for a while. They offer support and say, "I need anything, just ask." I tell I've been in IC and I think I'll be okay but appreciate it. I tell them that despite all of it, I still love her and that she going to need them more than I do. I go to bed and sleep better than I have since D-Day. Next morning before I leave, I go in the guest room and can tell she didn't sleep and has been crying all night. I really think that for the

first time since D-Day, the enormity of what's happening has finally hit her. Telling her family and having me go off on her like I did, I think it broke her out of the affair fog. She looks like she truly showing remorse. I tell her we need to talk more like I talk, she listens. I explain that I am 99% leaning towards divorce, but I'm still clinging to the life raft that is 1%. That if there is to be any hope, she need to do what I asked to help me get over this. She says she'll

do anything just to please not do anything yet. I remind her of a story I told her when my dad died. When I was 17, my dad told me that you'll have hard times in life, but how you handle them says more about you than the hard times will ever do. No matter what, never make make important decisions when you are upset. At the time, I was like, "Yeah, dad, whatever." I start to cry as I say, "I wish you were still here so I could tell him that I really was listening." She gets up

and gives me a hug. I don't hug her back, but it feels good, which scares me. She sits back down and I tell her she needs to move out. I can't heal if I see her everyday. We need to go and see. She agrees and asks me what else she can do. I tell her I'm too emotional now to think straight and I'll let her What else? On my way to work, I call my lawyer and see if I can come see her today. She's free on her way to the office and we meet for

coffee. I tell her what's been going on, the 99 to 1%, etc. Ask her to draw up divorce papers to get things rolling if I go that way. She suggests that if I have time and can afford it, I should find my wife an apartment and pay for the first month's rent. That if it goes as far as a judge, this will show good faith on my part for an amicable split. I agree, and she says she'll have something for me to look at by Monday. I get to work and call a real estate broker

that we've done a lot of work for over the years. Tell him what's going on and what I need. He says he knows a good rental agent and he have him call me. He calls and says he'll start looking and get back to me. He calls back with a place that fits in price, location, etc. I meet with the property manager and give him a check for the rest of February, March, and deposit. When I get home, I tell my wife I found her a place what I've paid for and she has to go meet

manager and sign lease. It's only a six-month lease, which is plus, I guess. She says that she is surprised that I moved so quickly. Andy tell her that I needed her not to come home from our sons. While she is gone, I call some movers and luckily it's the middle of the month and they can come Saturday. When she gets home, I tell her I've done with movers and ask her why he hasn't asked about anything financial. She looks confused and told her I've canceled credit cards, took my half out our joint account, and canceled

debit card. She seems angry about says she doesn't blame me. Turns out she hasn't needed to spend anything. That her time spent between our sons and home, she hasn't gone anywhere or needed anything. I also find out she called her employer and asked for a leave of absence, that she was having personal issues. They let her take her paid vacation if she wanted before starting leave of absence. Friday, I tell her she can take whatever she need for new place. Just leave me something and not anything from the basement and a couple of my family

heirloom stuff and my new bed. I also tell her that I'm willing to try MC, that she should find three different ones and I'll pick the one that I think will be the best. I leave early sat morning and I come home to a half empty house, including TV. That's okay. I want bigger one anyway. My friend still has my liquor, so I stopped and picked up my favorite bourbon and have enjoyed sipping on a glass while typing this. Sorry this was so long. Thanks for reading this far. Tomorrow I'm going to the gym and

I'm going to make my favorite chili and go buy a new TV. I'm sure I'll have more to post in the future. Update: Today is 4 weeks since D-Day. Good as day as any for an update. Thanks to everyone for the comments, support, advice, and perspective. Sunday night, got a call from younger sister. Honestly, don't know why I hadn't told her yet. Our mom called her and told her to call me. She told me to come and visit before I get busy in spring. Her and her husband live in SC. I might do that. Monday

morning, I met with my lawyer and went over divorce papers. Two big points. She stays out of my company and I keep the house and buy out her half of the equity over a 5-year period. No alimony as she has a good paying job. Land the cabin is on was given to me by grandfather. If she wants any increase in value because of cabin I built there, we will talk about that. This is all contingent on her agreeing to this being uncontested. Just waiting for time to be right. Later at work, STBXW called and talked

to my assistant. Gave her three names and numbers. She told her I was in and she could talk to me. She said, "No, just give him the numbers and I'll know what they are." 3MC therapist. I did know. Assistant comes in to give me the numbers and closes door behind her and asks what's going on. Why didn't she want to talk to me? She has been with me over 20 years and I know the look, not going away till I talk. So, I tell her. She is shocked as everyone else and insists that I have

to let rest of my work family, people that are there now working year round and have been there the longest know what is happening. I agree and have her gather in design room, tell the story again and they are surprised and offer support. I ask my IT guy to come to my office and ask him if he can track STBXW phone calls and text messages. He explains since it's really company phone, it won't be a problem. Later, he emails me all he has. I save it look at later. Before I leave, I call MC's and

ask questions. One is polite but short. Next says I can ask at first session not. Third stays on phone with me 30 minutes answering my questions and asking me a few. My big one is how she defines success. Does that mean we reconcile and get back together? She tells me that to her it's whatever is best for both of us. Could be staying together. Could be divorce. I set an appointment for Thursday. Tuesday I have lunch with AP's wife. We sit for 2 hours comparing notes, seeing if either of knows more than they told me

on day, trying to figure why they did this. What did we do wrong? What did we miss? We both agree this is not our fault. In hindsight, she realizes she missed or ignored some red flags and thinks this isn't first time. He left previous company rather abruptly and was not working for a while. I suggest she should ask her lawyer to try and get employment records if possible. Since it might have bearing on any divorce proceedings, there might be a way he can subpoena records. She has been letting him live in basement but never sees

him. She asks if I would be willing to do her a favor. Of course, my answer. She wants to meet AP for lunch and wants me to surprise him so we both can grill him. When and where, I'll be there. Set it up for Wednesday. That night, I went to STBXW new apartment unannounced, wondering if my decision will be made for me if I find AP there. She answers the door and looks like hell, like she hasn't slept or eaten since she moved out. Two separate emotions when I see her. The part that is angry,

say to effing bad, you brought this on yourself. The part that still cares wants to reach out and comfort, protect her. She hugs me and resist urge to hug back. I sit down and ask her for something to drink. Brings me a diet mount dew. I ask her to see her phone. No hesitation. She hands it to me. I spend 30 minutes going through it. No conversation. Several texts to AP telling him she never wants to see him again. How could she have been so stupid to get involved with him to fall for his BS

that she ruined and thrown away the best thing she had in her life? I have what I needed. going to compare to what my it has and see if anything has been deleted. Give her the phone back. Tell her that while I haven't lied to her, I haven't told her everything. Tell her I have a lawyer and divorce papers are made up. No crying, just a look of defeat. Tell her she should get one. She gets an incoming text. Starts swearing at phone. Shows it me. It's AP saying he is so depressed and needs to

see her. I tell her I can leave if he wants to come over. She tells me no and shows me what he texts back. basically f off and never contact her again. I ask her why she hasn't blocked him. Says, "Duh, I should know that." I watch as she does. I tell her we have an appointment with MC on Thursday. She looks happy, but I tell her, "Don't get too excited. Nothing is guaranteed." Tell her she need to make list of what she is willing to do to help me heal and fix things. Bring it

Thursday. I leave all for now. This is too long already. Have some work to finish. I'll try to update more tonight. Update. Continuing where I left off. Wednesday morning, I lock myself in my office going over all my IT guy sent me. Matches what I saw on wife's phone night before. Go to meet AP's wife and surprise AP at their lunch meeting. He freaks out when he sees me. She tells him to calm down. She invited me. He looks shocked. We grill him for half hour. He confirms what I saw on STBXW phone records. First

3 months EA only became physical last 6 months. I know, BFD. Like that changes anything. I ask if he's contacted or tried to contact STBXW since D-Day. He says no and I call BS. Tell them I was with her when you texted her last night about how depressed you are and really want to see her. AP's wife has smoke coming out of her ears, but stays calm. I then ask him, "What happened at your old employer? Why did you leave so suddenly?" He says, "No of my business." I tell you, might as well fess up

because it's going to come out anyway. Don't you owe your wife some honesty for once? He still refuses. I bluff and tell him my lawyer is going subpoena the record since it will show a pattern of behavior related to my STBXW in our divorce. He looks scared and confused. After a while, he admits to having an affair with a coworker that got him fired. She goes nuts, calls him very name in the book. He can get the f out of the house. She calms down before we get kicked out. Starts crying and tells him he

needs to leave and pack his things and get out of the house. He refuses. Bu I convince him to leave and give her some space. She and I talk for a while and she asks if she can have my lawyer's number. Turns out she was going to try and work it out with him until 5 minutes ago. Now she wants to rake him over the coals. We leave and I tell her to call me if she needs anything. Realizing that his life is about to be as messed up as mine puts a brief smile on

my face. Thursday, STBXW meets me at MC. sitting in her office and therapist starts by telling us some ground rules about how hard this is going to be that it really be up to us if this is going to work out. She says we need to be brutally honest with each other and ourselves and she is there to help in any way possible. She asks who wants to start and I speak up. I tell them both that I will work as hard as I can but it will be tough. Three things I can't seem to

get over. First, every time I see her, I don't see the woman I married but all I see is the vision of her boss on top of her effing her. Second, when I was about to call his wife, her response wasn't concern for me, but rather you can't do this to him. Finally, I don't believe she is really remorseful for all the hurt she has caused, not only me, but our family, friends, and AP's family. She's only sorry she got caught. If I hadn't walked in that day, she would still be effing him. It feels

good to get that off my chest. She is crying, but I really don't care. Truthfully, I believe she is finally starting to realize all she has done and is starting to show remorse. It might be too late. She starts to talk about how she knows she ruined everything. That it is nobody's fault but her own. How she knows she has to accept the burden of the consequences of what she has done. That her main concern is to help me God over what she has done. But realizes that it might never be enough and I will

probably leave anyway. Goes on to say how I shouldn't in any way blame myself. That I have been a great husband, father, partner, lover, and best friend. She says that she really can't give me a good answer if I were to ask why because can't answer that for herself. She started IC yesterday and hopefully she might be able to tell herself why someday and maybe give me an answer. She reaches in her purse and hands her list to me. I tell her to give it to therapist. She looks at it and asks if I want

to go over it. I tell her I'll look at it on my own and we can discuss it next time. We talk for a while and time is up. We agree to meet next week. Before we leave, they both ask me not to do anything yet, that this was a good first step. Today is Saturday and still haven't looked at the list. Not much else is going on. Kids are coming over for dinner tomorrow. I going to give them more details about what happened, what's going on now, and ask how they feel about getting a

paternity test. We'll update later. Update: Just a quick update. Dinner with kids moved to tomorrow. Thought I would call STBXW and tell her I needed to talk to her. I had gone and bought a different phone this afternoon at the suggestion of people here to try something sneaky on her. She showed up with carry out from my favorite Chinese place. told her to come in, but that I wasn't going sit and have dinner with her. Before she came over, I typed a text to her pretending to be AP telling her wife threw me out. I'm

really depressed and need to see you. Please don't hate me. We were good together and can still be. Just give me a chance to prove that to you. You know, I really care for you and believe you feel the same way. Please, I need to see you. Just waiting for right time to send it. We sit at kitchen table dot and I start tell her about meeting with OBS and the meeting the next day with AP and OBS. about him lying about contacting her, but I hold off on the part about why he lost his

last job. Tell her about OBS being pissed off and throwing him out. Explain that I was concerned about him doing something harmful to her, stalking her, etc. She needs to be careful. Her response was, "F him. He deserves all he gets." My response is this. "Look at me." I look right at her and say, "So do you because you did f him." No reply, just a dejected look. I excuse myself to go to the bathroom and send the text. When I come back, she looks mad and is texting. I ask her who she's texting and

she tells me AP just texted her. I say, "I thought you blocked him, acting all pissed off. She says that she did but has a new number and shows me the message and her response tell him to leave her alone that she never wants to hear from him again. I feel vibrate in my pocket. I ask her about the list. Is there anything she wants to add?" She tells me she should meet OBS and apologize to her. I'll work on that. I tell her, explain to her I need two more lists by next MC. First

is timeline for the affair. Everything from the flirting to first time they had sex to D-Day. She agrees. I tell her I need to let the dog out and I'll be right back. I go outside with dog. Send her another text from AP pleading to reconsider that I'll make it up to her. We were meant to be together. I lay it on thick. Come back in and she's texting again and tells me it's AP again. She lets me read text and her reply threatening to go to police if he do a stop. She asks if

I can keep her on my company plan. Can she get a new phone or just new number? I tell her to leave her phone and I'll take if it tomorrow and drop off new one. She asks about second list and I tell her I want all the details about everything they did sexually. Everything. She looks shocked and I tell her to put them in separate sealed envelopes. I won't open them until I think she is not doing enough or that she is lying to me. With that, I'm done and tell her she needs to go.

She goes, "And I enjoy Chinese food alone." Update: Kids came over for dinner last night. Talked for a long time. More on that. I didn't sleep well on Sunday night after the fake text stunt. That's not me, not who I want to become. Went to STBXW's apartment to drop off new phone. I ask her if I can come in. I have something to tell her. The look on her face makes me think she thought I had filed. Tell her I have her new phone, but that she really doesn't need it. What do you mean? I

tell her that I was the one texting her last night, not AP pause from now on and apologize for lying to her. She looks depressed and sits down. I tell her that I'm still hanging on to the 1% life raft, but I can't be dishonest if it's going to work. She wipes a few tears. Not the reaction I expected. Thought she'd be pissed. Then she says, "This is what I've done." Looks at me. You are the most honest, truthful person I've ever known, and I brought you to this because of my selfishness. I took advantage

of your good nature, your faith, and trust in me and betrayed and hurt you in the worst way possible. Now, I've never been one to believe the whole triggers idea. Always thought that was something for the snowflakes. Well, I've changed that view. Something about her last statement and the way she said it touched me somehow and started crying. Something I swore I'd never do in front of her. Pretty soon, I'm balling my eyes out. In between sobs, I managed to get out a few. How could you do this? Do you have any idea how much

you've hurt me? what you've done to our children. There's a hole in my chest where my heart used to be and a few more. She's crying too and sits next to me and puts her arms around me. I get up after we both stop and ask her if she still wants the new phone. She nods, so I give it to her. She asks if I read her list. I tell her yes, it's a good start, but I don't agree with one. She looks puzzled and I tell her the one about me going out and getting

laid, having an affair. She tells me that I should. I ask her if she remembered the day we first met. She nods yes. I tell her when I met her that day playing VB at school that even though I felt she was out of my league that if could win her over and build something together, I wouldn't have to be with another woman in my life. After a few dates and the first time we made love, I knew I was right and I was going to do everything in my power to spend the rest of

my life. You until 4 weeks ago, I still felt that way. In my eyes, she was still that girl I met playing VB. More quiet and crying from us both. I finally tell her I have to go. Kids are coming over for dinner. She tells me she won't ask to join us, that she understands my need to be away from her. I agree and say that I will only see her at MC for a while. I tell her I'm going to talk to the kids about paternity test. Says she doesn't blame me and she has

no right to ask me to believe her, but this is the only time she step outside of marriage. As I'm leaving, she asked me to wait. She has to tell me something else. She emailed HR at her company and resigned. She knows she needs to never see her boss boss if I'm going to heal. She wants to rat him out to HR and get him fired. I ask her to not do that. It might affect OBS and her divorce. She agrees. Asks me if there is any way that I had any feelings left for her

if I could add her to company insurance plan since we're still married for the moment. I say yes. Kids come over for dinner. I tell them about talk mom and I had about paternity test. Reassure them it doesn't matter to me. I will always always be their dad and will love them unconditionally till I die. Son asks if I believed her and I told him I did. He says he wants to ask her. I can tell he's angry about thinking he needs to ask. I sternly tell him that no matter what has happened, she is

still your mother. You need to work on forgiveness for her. Tell my daughter the same thing. We talk about that for a while. I also fill them in on what's been going on these past weeks. They leave and I try to get some sleep. Update. I need to say thank everyone for all the support, advice, and encouragement. It really helps more than you know. Quick update. First, had lunch with OBS on Wednesday. She says that she's doing okay, but I really question that. She looked more pale and a little thinner than just a week ago.

Said she hasn't seen or heard from Poss since last Thursday. He came by to pick up the rest of his stuff and told her he was going to stay at extended stay hotel for a while. So, I guess he's not going to be stalking anyone, but I told her she should reach out to her nearest neighbors if she was close enough to them to tell them what happened and ask them to keep an eye out for trouble. She said she would. I asked her if has had the locks changed. Said she hadn't thought of that.

I told I would come over, see what she needed, and take care of it. She insisted I didn't have two, but I insisted we were now like brother and sister in betrayal. And besides, it's less time I'm alone in my house. She has retained the same lawyer that I have and said she seemed like a shark that would take him to the cleaners. I said she's your lawyer. You're paying her and she will do whatever you need her to do. for me. She's protecting me if I decide divorce is the best option and is everything

ready to go. She's also letting me do what I need as I explore the 1% option. I stop by her house and get the locks changed. We agree to try and talk once a week. Second MC session was yesterday. Hard to tell if this is helping or moving the divorce omter off of the 99 to 1% mark at all. We discuss the list STBXW made up. Lots of good/g great things on the list. STBXW admits that because she has hurt and betrayed me and our marriage so badly that no matter how hard she tries, it

probably will not be enough. But it's through no fault of anyone else but her and she'll have accept the consequences. However, until papers are signed, she is going to try with everything she has to help me heal and get us back together. And if doesn't work out, she will try to help me move on and get past this, however that may look. She knows that because of her selfish behavior, things will never be the same. But hopefully, we can build something new together. Therapist asks if she going to IC. She went Friday last week and

Monday and Wednesday this week with another appointment Friday. Going to continue three days a week for a while since she's not working. Here's the fup part. I ask her if she's going to be okay financially since she's not working. I shouldn't care, right? But I do and can't get past that. She says she has her half of our account, got all small severance amount from her company and will take from her 401k if she's not working in four to 5 months. says she considering start her own small IT consulting firm specializing in small startups, something

we had talked about her doing before D-Day. Therapist gets us back to the list and asks about the hall pass idea. I tell I'm not interested. She asks why. I tell her that this is really the first self-s serving thing that STBXW had done since her come to Jesus moment with family. It's not really about me going out and screwing strange women. It's about giving her a way to relieve some of her guilt she feels for the hurt and betrayal she has caused her loved ones. me most of all. They both agree. I tell them

that despite not living together, I still take our marriage vows as gospel and will keep doing so until we are divorced. Therapist picks up on phrasing right away on purpose, by the way. Until you are divorced. Does this mean you've already made up your mind? I tell her that I said from the start that this was going to hard to come back from. However, I'm still clinging to the life raft of 1%, but any more self-s serving things like the hall pass and the raft was going to start taking on water. We talk a while

about and we're done. Weather is supposed to be warm here tomorrow, so I have guys coming into the shop to start going over equipment for spring work. It will feel good to get going on some projects we have coming up. The fact that this all happened in the middle of winter, cold and long nights and not much at work hasn't helped, I'm sure. Had this been spring or summer, I could have found excuses to put in 16-our days to keep me distracted. Thanks to everyone. Update. Thanks again to everyone that has reached out with advice,

support, and encouragement. It really means a lot. Hearing others stories is very helpful, too. This is not an update on May and STBXW. No, this is about Posshat formerly known as AP. I know I've mentioned that OBS hired the same lawyer I have. I asked her about this and she said that there is no conflict of interest, etc. And she was happy to help OBS. Since she hired my lawyer, she has had her investigator do a deep dive into POS for things to use in the divorce. OBS called me and filmed me what he found.

Let's just say pause is an even bigger pause than anybody knew. Think Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park seeing Dino droppings big first. It didn't take him long to move on from STBXW and start up with someone else at work. Investigator found social media posts and texts between them and was able to be waiting at his hotel when they came from work. My lawyer is going to talk to the woman and get a read on this affair and if she really just a victim. Second, after some digging, he was able to determine that Poss had affairs

with three women at his previous job, not just the one that led to him being fired. He was able to track them down, and they both told the same story of how when they decided to pull back from the affair, he used his position to create phony bad reviews and job performance issues, including attendance issues, enough to get them fired from their jobs. They were both married and were terrified of their husbands finding out, so they just kept quiet about everything. It was the third affair that cost him his job. Her husband found out and

told his wife she needed to leave her job and then they both went to HR with evidence of the affair and he was fired. They are still in limbo about their marriage being salvaged. Third, this one is just the killer. Affair number two resulted in her getting pregnant. Her husband had a vasectomy years ago, so she was in major trouble. They divorced and her life is in shambles. Husband has custody of their two kids and she's left raising a child by herself. He has been secretly paying her child support out of separate account that OBS

knew nothing about, but wants nothing to do with either of them. He is currently 3 months behind on support. My lawyer has agreed to represent all three women and file a lawsuit for sexual harassment against his former company. She asked me about talking to STBXW about this to see if there was any job related pressure during their affair and take action against her former employer and would understand if I said no, that her first responsibility in this matter was me. I told her no that I wasn't going to give STBXW an easy out for the

affair. So that's it. I have a hard time imagining anyone being a bigger boss than what he is. If there is any karma in the world, he would get hit by a truck crossing the street. OBS has been advised by her lawyer that him having a job or not shouldn't affect any support she will get from Poss. So she is going to go ahead and inform HR at his job. I asked if I can have a hand in that. Still working out ti details. Next few weeks should be interesting. Update. A lot of people have

been asking about how my kids are doing. Thanks. They are dong. Okay. Came over for dinner with their wife and fiance on Saturday. Cooked steaks on the grill. Delicious. Son has been in contact with his mom. Even went to see her at her new apartment. I don't think I'd say he has forgiven her, but let's call it acceptance and moving on. My daughter still hasn't spoken to her mom since D-Day. While she no longer has the outward anger she showed before, she still doesn't want to talk to WS. WS has tried to call her several

times and she has ignored those efforts. I've told her I will support her in however she needs to deal with this, but that it's probably not healthy to ignore her mom forever. Thankfully, they both have their sofa support. The plus side is I've seen them both together more in the last 6 weeks than the past 6 months. MC, this past week was good. I question what the purpose of going weekly is since we aren't interacting at all. It's not really marriage counseling if we aren't living together and dealing with the emotions of seeing each other

daily. We all agree to give it a few more weeks and talk. Then the subject of Poss and his history is brought up by therapist. She asks WS how she is dealing with all this new information. WS says that it doesn't matter. Doesn't change anything. She alone is responsible for all of this. Says that she is an intelligent, educated, strong woman. At least she used to think so. The series of choices and bad decisions she made to get us here today are nobody's fault but hers. And she has to accept the consequences. We talk about

this for a while. Before we are done, therapist asks how I feel about all of this. If WS's reaction and remorse is starting to change the 99 to 1%. I tell them while we have dealt with two of three things I said from the start would make this hard, I still can't get past what I walked in on. That many nights I can't sleep cause it's playing in my head. When I'm not engaged with something or someone else, work, gym, talking with kids, nothing else to distract me, I think about it a lot. that until

I can through that part, not much is going to change. She asks if I have talked to IC about it. I have to laugh as I tell her pretty much all we do talk about. OBS and I still talk daily. I told her WS wants to meet her and apologize to her. She says okay and let's do that next week. OBS tells me about lawyer meeting Posa's new AP. Contacted her at work. Asked her to meet her at coffee shop in lobby of AP's building. Tells her who she is and who she is representing and

why. goes through Poss's history at last job, then brings up my WS. Poss AP asks lawyer why she's representing Poss who was cheated on and me who cheated on my WS. Isn't that kind of a double standard? Lawyer asks what she is talking about. Poss told her the reason my WS took leave of absence and resigned is because I cheated on her. It's going around the department. That's the reason she left. Lawyer tells she needs to get facts straight that Poss was cheating with WS and she Poss's newest AP is just the next in line.

I guess she didn't take that info very well. Lawyer gets info about their affair. She is married. They have only slept together once, but he' been after her for a while. She tells lawyer she's going to tell him it's over as soon as she goes back to office. Lawyer tells her to contact her if Poss pressures her with job to keep sleeping with him. tells her that how she handles her husband is her business, but that soon all of this is going to come out to HR and that they're most likely to be fallout. Now,

when OBS tells me about Poss lying about me and why WS left, I went through the effing roof, had to hang up and started walking around house swearing and screaming. Even scared my dog. I know these people where WS used to work. She had been there 18 years and I had been to many company outings with her. Some of them have kids same age as mine and we were involved in school stuff. little league, etc. When I calm down, I call her back and ask her to call Poss and tell him she needs to talk

with him. She asks why and I tell her I'll pick her up. I'm going with her. She chuckles and says, "Okay." When we get to his hotel, she knocks on the door and tells him she's here. I'm fuming and can't wait for him to open the door. When he cracks the door, I go through it like a cop on a TV show. The door hits him in face and he falls back on the floor. Don't think OBS expected the cause. She's telling me to calm down as I'm dragging him in the room calling him every

name in the book. I pick him off floor and pin him against the wall and tell him this time he will be spending time in the hospital and I don't care if I go to jail. How the [ __ ] you get off telling people I cheated on my wife. OBS is pulling at my waist telling me to stop, he's not worth it, etc. I'm still screaming at him when I look down and see that I literally have scared the piss out of him. He peed in his pants. I couldn't help myself and let him

go as I double over in laughter. You pissed your [ __ ] pants. OBS asks him if he is okay and that surprised me so I kind of stopped laughing. She gets closer to him asking him again if he's okay. He says he is as she gets closer. When she close enough she winds up and kicks him right in the balls. Didn't see that coming. She must have gotten him good cause he is doubled over really hurt. Now she is calling him the names. After a few seconds pass, she pushes his head down as she

brings her knee up hard to his face. Right in the nose. I think she broke his nose cause it's bleeding immediately. She turned, grabs my hand, and says, "Let's go." As we're walking to my truck, I tell her, "I can't believe you just did that." She tells me she took a woman's self-defense class a few years ago, and she has been wanting to do that since D-Day. I tell her we have to stop and have a shot or two to celebrate what she just did. We stop at place I know have a few drinks talking

about a posses. I drop her off at home and drive home, smiling ear to ear how all worked out. Wonder what BS he'll say at work on Monday. Update. Quick update. My house is a mess and I'm going to be living in the basement for a while. Right after the first of the year, WS and I took out a home equity loan and had a contractor I know draw up a couple of plans for remodeling the kitchen LR DR into a bigger great room and redoing master bath. Just couldn't decide which plan to go with.

So I said, "Hell with it. I'm picking and let's get going." Before anyone asks, I checked with lawyer and since WS had signed on loan and it was disclosed in the three appraisals I had done for deciding equity in the house for splitting it, I could go ahead. Kids came over last night to talk. Had good pizza for dinner. I told them about Poss's history, about how OBS and I are trying to help each, about Poss lying about me, and about what happened when OBS and I confronted him. They were surprised because I've always tried

not to show real anger to them, but didn't blame me. Couldn't stop laughing at him pissing his pants. then moved on to their relationship with mom going forward. Talked about WS coming clean to family and my going off on her. Explained that there is a lot going on with me and I'm assuming WS in IC and both of us in MC that they don't know about. That since coming clean WS has been different and has shown remorse and realizes how much she has hurt everyone. We talked a lot. They had questions that I answered lots

of how I'm coping and what WS is doing to help me heal. I suggested that they both should see IC to help them. Son declined, "Say I am his IC." Daughter agreed to come to my next IC and meet her and then decide. I suggested that they should sit down with WS and I and the four of us could talk. That getting things off my chest to WS helped and is still helping me that maybe they needed to go off as I did. They both thought that was a good idea as long as I was

with them. I'll let you know how that goes. Finally, WS met with OBS this morning for coffee. I was there just in case. WS talked first, saying how truly sorry she is for all the pain she caused OBS. How she knows that OBS hates her and doesn't blame her. That she'd feel the same. That she hates herself right now, never puts makeup on anymore because she can't look at herself in the mirror. Despite what a POS Poss is, she was and is responsible for her own actions. OBS wanted to know WS side of the story.

See how much Poss was lying to her. I had heard most of it before, but then she shocked the hell out of me. That she tried to end it three times and each time Poss would imply that her job would suffer. Last time told her that he would go to HR and say she offered sex for a promotion and then would call me. The idea of him going to convention with her was something he insisted on along with coming to our house, saying he was tried of paying for the hotel and his wife was always

home. WS said none of that really mattered. She shouldn't have let it start in the first place and should have the courage to end it despite his threats and gone to HR no matter the cost. My hatred for Poss went up by 100. I got up and called my our lawyer and told her she needed to get over here right now. She wondered why. I just told her where we were and she needs to get here ASAP. Got back to table and OBS was talking. How she really wanted to keep hating WS but couldn't bring

herself to do that. That Poss is really just a con man with women starting with OBS. She thought they were a great couple in a great marriage. Now she realizes she was just a vessel for him to produce children, cook, and clean, and the woman he would screw when no one else was available. Then she told WS that Poss must have been shoveling a lot of BS that she fell for, for WS to throw away the life she had built with me. WS told that she now knows why she fell for it, but it's still

no excuse. She should have been smart enough, strong enough to not go down this road and hurt so many people. OBS told her not to be so hard on herself that she was just next. And if it hadn't been her, it would have been some other woman. WS said, "But it was her, and because she let it happen, she's destroyed her family and hurt the people closest to her." They keep talking till lawyer arrives. I look at WS and tell her she needs to tell lawyer what she said earlier. I get everyone more coffee and

have to leave for work. Lawyer left two messages today, but haven't had time to call her back. I'll call her tomorrow. MC, tomorrow should be very interesting. Update. Finally, some good news. Business not personal, but any sun shining on me is good right now. On Friday, I was contacted by on home builder that I had been trying to land a contract with that they have chosen my company as the landscaping contractor for a subdivision where they are building high-end homes on minimum 3/4 acre lots. Can't tell you how happy that made me. The kids and

I went to WS's place Saturday to talk. It went about how you would think it would. Very emotional and a lot of angry venting. Our daughter went off on her pretty good, I had to cut her off a few times. Each time WS stopped me and said she needed to say everything that was on her mind and that she WS deserves all of it for what she has put our family through. They were both in tears by the time she was done. Son took his turn, not as angry, I think, because he has talked to

his mom since D-Day. Our daughter hasn't spoken to WS since D-Day 7 weeks ago. Have to get back to work. Possing down this afternoon. update. Okay, so here it is. Poss got scorched this afternoon. I'm retelling some of what was told me by my/ our lawyer and OBS. Earlier in the afternoon, Shark lawyer SL from now on made whatever filings she had to make at county courthouse. Then she emailed the CEO and HR majors of both company WS was at and his previous employer. Late in the afternoon, she showed up at WS company with OBS

and WS with her. Her assistant was also there. While SL and Sand OBS went to HR, SL's assistant went to CEO's office to deliver hard copies of court filings. The three women walked into HR manager's office closed door and sat down. HR knows WS, but SL introduced herself in OBS, then proceeds to hand her copy of lawsuit naming company and Poss in sexual harassment lawsuit. Included are sworn affidavits from WS and the next AP detailing POS behavior and abuse of power. HR manager has the typical corporate response of going to legal department etc. SL asks

HR if she could escort her to Poss's office so she can deliver copy to him. Before they leave, CEO bursts into office with papers in hand, saying, "What the hell is this about?" Realizes who else is in the office and mumbles, "Excuse me." SL stands and introduces herself, saying, "I think you know what this is about." CEO looks at WS and asks, "Is this why you left?" SL cuts her off, telling her not to answer. SL asks again to be escorted to Poss's office. CEO asks her to wait outside for a moment. OBS and WS

leave and come to building lobby where I'm waiting with AP number two from old job. SL can hear HR manager and CEO talking in the office. After a few minutes, they come out and tell SL to follow them. They arrive at Poss's office and go inside. CEO tries to introduce SL but forgot her name so she introduces herself. Explains who she represents and starts with handing him divorce papers from OBS saying she is suing him for divorce for infidelity. Next comes papers naming him as codefendant in sexual harassment lawsuit against him and the company. Then

she hands him more papers naming him as codependent in sexual harassment lawsuit against him and former company. Finally, she gives him papers saying she is seeking to reopen the child support agreement between him and AP. number two explains that AP number two didn't have proper legal representation and that any new child support claims would be going back to the beginning and seek to attach claim to any severance pay from company including current wages as well as his retirement benefits including but not limited to his 401k and any future employment to say he was in total

disbelief would be an understatement according to SL all he could mumble out was something about what do you mean any future employment CEO spoke and said that his employment with company was terminated effective immediately He was to turn over keys, company phone and ID and leave immediately. Any personal items would be mailed to him. SL then asked CEO if he would sign documents along with HR manager as to both the company and Poss being properly served legal papers. He agreed and asked HR manager to have security remove him from the building. SL left leaving a

card with Poss and telling him to have his lawyer contact her. She comes to lobby and meets me AP number two WS and OBS. Only a few minutes pass when Poss gets off elevator with security walking him out. The four of us start clapping as he is dejectedly walked past us. I fought the urge to say something. AP number two couldn't though and said karma is a [ __ ] and so am I, you [ __ ] After a few minutes, goodbyes are said. AP number two gives SL a huge hug thanking her saying she

hasn't felt that good in years. WS says goodbye and walks to elevator saying she's going up to her old department. I'm a little confused. not idea what she going back there for. SL invites OBS and me out for dinner to discuss and fill in the gaps about what happened today. While at dinner, she told OBS what most likely happened concerning divorce filing. I asked her about lawsuits moving forward, and she politely told me she couldn't discuss that with me since I'm not involved with those filings. We have a social dinner and go our separate ways.

When I get home, WS is waiting for me and asks if she can come in. Of course, the whole kitchen, LR, and DR are a mess from remodeling going on. She asks about it and I tell her which design I choose. We talk about that for a minute and head downstairs. This will only take a minute, she says, and goes on to tell me that she went up to her old department to tell the people she worked with what really happened and why she left. A few questions are asked about what happened in Posa's office,

and she fills them in as best she can. She gives me a hug and says she'll see herself out and that she'll see me at next MC. After she's gone, I went to the backyard and built a fire in the fire pit. went inside and grabbed my newest bottle of bourbon, Angel's Envy, and a glass of ice. I sit by the fire enjoying a few glasses of bourbon on reflecting back on the past seven five weeks. While I'm a long way from feeling normal getting that big contract, Saturday's meeting as a family and today's events

have me feeling better than I have since before D-Day. I cannot thank everyone here in this community enough for all the advice, support, and encouragement I have received. It means more than I can ever say. Thanks again for everything. P.S. I forgot to mention that while everything was going on with Poss and that company, SL had her investigator deliver papers to Poss's previous employer. Update: Several people have asked about my best friend, guy who helped me in the aftermath of D-Day. He and his wife have been so extremely helpful. I can't be begin to thank

them enough. Finding excuses to stop by the house, making me dinner and dropping it off, stopping by the office for no good reason. I talk with both of them often, letting them know how I'm doing. The kids are doing okay. Son is handling it better. Our daughter, someone has suggested that one reason she is having a hard time with this is her fiance. The old want to know what your GF will look like at 20 years. Look at her mom. Maybe the same applies to this. She's freaking out that her fianceé will see WS's infidelity

as something that she may do somewhere in their relationship and that he might be having second thoughts about getting married. I hope this isn't the case with him, but I can understand why this is bothering our daughter. going to figure out a way to deal with this if it is the case before it does irreversible damage. I brought up the idea of a polygraph last week in MC WS took one last week Friday. I'm satisfied with the results. That's all for now. Thanks for all the support and prayers. Update. Quick update on Poss. Heard from

OBS this morning. She was to have a meeting with Poss and his lawyer at SL's office with SL and OBS. He says nothing, not even hello. His lawyer starts in with how the settlement is to one-sided. He'll destroy it in court. Let's fix this before things get ugly and more lawyers speak. SL lets him go on till he's done and asks him if he's really serious. The evidence they have, the two lawsuits for sexual harassment pertaining to his abuse of power at his job. His lawyer looks shocked and says, "Hold it a minute. What lawsuits?"

So SL fills him on the details. His lawyer asked if they could step outside for a moment. He needed to talk to his client. While SL and OBS are outside conference room, SL says that she knows what the conversation is going on right now because she has been there herself. Nothing worse as a lawyer than being blindsided by some information that the other side has, but you don't because your client didn't tell you everything. No matter how often you ask them, is this all you have to tell me? Meeting is over and lawyer asks them

to come in. Informs SL that this conference is over. He no longer represents Poss and he will have to find other counsel. closes briefcase, get up from table and tells Poss that he'll be receiving his bill and walks out. SL is trying not to laugh, but tells Poss to call her when he has a new lawyer and offers this advice. Next time, be sure to tell your lawyer everything or the next one is walking out too. And my client wants to get this over with so she can cut you out of her life forever. Tells

him he can show himself out and they get up and walk out. God, he is an idiot. Update: Nothing personal except to say that today is RS's 50th birthday. Things are progressing well for me and her. Heard from OBS today. Poss is on lawyer number two. They met today with SL. Short version is that Poss's new lawyer severely underestimated SL. Tried to force his hand in negotiating their settlement agreement. They felt it was to one-sided. SL said so was the way he abused his marriage by having multiple affairs and fathering a child with one of

his partners. His lawyer said that there is no proof of that. SL pointed to the lawsuits and sworn depositions from all women involved. SL said that her investigator is digging into Poss's employment history and so far has discovered two other women that he had affairs with, one resulting in his termination. She was bluffing, but Poss's reaction told her that maybe she should look into that further. Bottom line, they finally agreed to everything OBS wanted and signed the papers. Same lawyer is handling Pos's lawsuits and they wanted to discuss that next. So, OBS had to leave.

SL walked her out and was shaking her head about the bad tactics. Never discuss a second case when you just got your lunch handed to you in the first. Fall back, regroup, and schedule another meeting. OBS said she was licking her chops and felt like SL was going to move in for kill. OBS has gone back to work for her former employer. They welcomed her back with open arms. She has spent the last week and a half learning new software and getting up to date on new tax laws and codes. Told me she hasn't felt

this good in a long time. She still hasn't told her children the depth of what a POSP pass is. Said that SL has offered to help get them to her office to discuss technical things about the divorce and slowly fill them in on all the details. She promised to let me know how that goes. Update. Hi everyone. Just wanted to say thank you for all your comments, support, and prayers. RS and I are doing better, slowly moving towards reconciliation. I'm optimistic. After my last post, someone asked about AP number two. I asked SL about her

and she not doing very well. While SL has filed to reopen her child support case with Poss, it takes a while. Of course, Poss is showing his true colors and is even further behind on child support. AP number two is burning through what she got in her divorce and is struggling to find a job because of the pandemic and child care. I thought I might be able to help her out. I briefly told my year round staff her story without details and asked if we could pass the hat, that I'd match whatever they felt they

could do. called SL to get AP number two address and she said that she would call her and tell her I was coming. First time I met this woman was when Poss was escorted from the building after getting fired. She looked tired. We made small talk for a minute and she asked why I wanted to see her. I gave her the dollar, told her she could relax for a while. She told me that she would pay back every penny when she was back on her feet. I told her that wasn't necessary, but she insisted. Then

I asked what she did when she was working and she told me. I handed her an application and told her if she didn't mind boring office work that I could use an extra hand during my busy season. Told her about the daycare on the other end of the complex where my shop/yard is. This was Monday. Tuesday, she dropped off the application. She starts next week Monday. No news about Poss and the lawsuits. OBS is happy to be back working and seems to be moving on. No word on what she has done regarding telling her kids

more information. Update: Today is Monday. Last Friday was 12 weeks since D-Day. As good a time as any for an update. First, our kids are doing very well. Our son came around more quickly than our daughter. He accepted things and moved on his relationship with his mom. It took our daughter a little longer, but she is going to IC and has reconnected with her mom. She has involved mom in her wedding plans, so things are looking up. She graduates from college next month and is excitedly looking forward to that. OBS is doing well and seems

to be moving on. She has gone back to work with her old company and is excited to be back. She called tonight to tell me that along with SL, they sat down and told her three kids about what a POS POS really is. I'm sure it came as a big shock to them to hear about the double life their father poss. AP number two started working for my company today. We shall see how it works out. Carol, my assistant for the past 20 years, thinks she going to fit in very well and seems happy to

be back at work. Finally, RS and I are slowly and steadily moving towards reconciliation. She has done everything she needs to do. Some incredibly difficult and painful things. Polygraph apology letter tour addressed every red flag triangular flag on post emoji that stood in the way of reconciliation. At some point, seeing all the hard work she was doing, how hard she was fighting was like getting hit over the head for me. if she is fighting this hard. Maybe I should get off my ass and get in the game. Some things are worth battling for. We are

not there yet, but I'm optimistic. Thanks for all of your thoughts, support, concerns, and prayers. I really do appreciate all of them. Update. Okay. Yes, there is justice or karma in the world. Boss is in jail or will be soon if he's not already. I will start at the beginning. As you know, AP number two has been working for me for a few weeks. been doing great and fits right in here. Monday, she brought me a Starbucks to say thanks for giving her a job, etc. I told her she earned the job and she was

probably overqualified for what she was doing for us. We talked for a while about how she doing, etc. More on that later. Then she asked if it would be okay if she was gone for a few hours tomorrow. Tuesday, she had a hearing with SL about her child support. I told her, of course, Tuesday around noon, she said she was leaving. She came back afterwards beaming and explained what happened and why she was so happy. First Poss didn't show up. Judge asked his attorney where he was and he said he didn't know. I told him

he needed to be here. Judge was not happy. Asked if everyone present were ready to proceed. So he did. Stated in legal terms that they were on the record in the matter of X versus Y. More legal stuff and judge asked if Poss attorney had phone number for him. Ask SL if she had any objections to calling Poss and using that in place of him actually taking time to show up. SL said that would be fine. made sure everyone was in position to hear the speaker phone and made the call. Poss answered. Judge asked if

it was him and then identified himself as Judge Wapner. Sorry, couldn't resist and they were on speaker phone and on the record in the matter of X versus Y asked why Poss wasn't there and Poss said his attorney told him he didn't need to be. Judge told him that it's not a good idea to lie directly to a judge even though this isn't sworn testimony. Not a good start. Your attorney has said he advised you to be here and I believe him. After that, asked Poss questions for 10 to 15 minutes, why was he behind

on child support, has he gotten a job, where is he living, etc. Asked SL if she had anything else she needed from Poss. She didn't, and he asked Poss if he was okay with his attorney representing him from that point without him being on the phone. Said he was, and Judge ended the phone call, asked Poss attorney if he had anything to add. He made a show of trying to say he was presently unemployed, etc. The judge responded that he's further behind, that he's been out of work. SL then got her turn and she went

to work. AP number two said it was brilliant and made it look like she really got shafted first time around. Judge said he would look at everything and issue his ruling shortly. 30 minutes later they we all back in front of the judge. In a bunch of legal speak, he sided with AP number two and she got more child support and Poss will have to make up the difference in what she was shorted from the beginning. Asked Poss attorney if he wanted to file a motion to appeal the ruling and he told the judge that

will be up to Poss attorney. After this hearing, he will no longer be representing Poss. Judge then said he would have a county sheriff deliver all legal documents from the hearing to Poss at the extended stay hotel where he residing. Also, due to the fact that he was more than 6 months behind in child support, he was issuing an arrest warrant for Poss and would have poss taken into custody when sheriff delivered the documents. AP number two was grinning from ear to ear as she gave me the details. Of course, I was too listening to

them. As far as AP number two knows, Paw spent the night in jail. I'm going to call SL today and see if there's anything else she can tell me. All I can say is he may finally get what he deserves. Update. So is RS and I move inch by inch towards reconciliation. I had a small personal milestone. Nothing major, but it hit me when it happened. Went to purchase a new fishing license today. At the store, the clerk asked if I wanted to get another husband and wife license. Yesterday was 16 weeks since D-Day. Two

months ago, I would not have said yes. But today, I didn't give it a second thought. just nodded. Yes. Kind of cheesy, I know, but I'll take it. Update. Hello. People have been asking for an update of my visit to see Poss in jail. My apologies for taking so long. It is my busy season. First, OBS and AP number two are both dong very well. I will try and post an update on them later. This happened on May 12th. I called OBS and told her about Poss being in jail and asked if she wanted to

join me. Picked her up and we went to see him. I'd say he was shocked and surprised to see us. He wanted to turn and leave but couldn't. We were escorted in by a corrections officer, CO, who explained the rules to us. We were allowed 30 minutes but had to stay minimum of 10. So CO reminded him of that and told him he had to sit there. He asked why we were there. OBS said she was worried about him being a concerned spouse. Poss looked at her and said, "Really?" She broke out laughing and said,

"Hell no." I started laughing and said, "You really can't be that stupid, can you?" She cares more about what she leaves in the toilet than you. By now, Co is paying attention because we are laughing so aloud. OBS and I both hold up his booking photo and ask if he's seen it. Pretty good likeness, I said. But you should have asked the guy taking the picture to get your best feature. He looks like he doesn't understand your best feature. You know, you tiny little dick holding up my fingers. OBS says, "Oh, yay. I can attest

to that." We're both laughing again. He tried to get smart with me and said, "You know, your wife liked it." "Not really," I said. She's told me, "The only good thing about you blackmailing her to have sex was that you never ever lasted more than a minute." OBS starts laughing and says, "Ain't that the truth. Good thing I had my toys when I was married to you." We have Seio laughing. I think he's figured out why we're here. I ask him what he's going to do while he's here. I don't guess there is not much

need for an IT manager that has to blackmail women into sleeping with him. He tried and gets serious and asked OBS do him a favor. I chuckled and said seriously why would she do anything for you? She said no it's okay. What is it? Please don't tell the kids where I am. She laughed and said too late. When he looking at me called and asked if I wanted to join him. That was my next call. I almost well not really felt sorry for him. He just slumped down. I think that his kids realizing he was

in jail hit him hard. He asked OBS why would you do that? her response. I wanted them to know that their biological father never really been a dad in addition to being a serial cheater, a sexual abuser, a man that blackmails women into having sex. Besides all that, we can add jailbird to that resume. You are so pathetic you can't even be bothered to support the woman who had your child due to your cheating. If I could, I would find every woman you've used for your jollies, every family member you've hurt, and have them visit

you here to rub you face in it. I had nothing to add, so we sat in silence for a minute. I could have just left it at that, but I couldn't resist piling on. I told him he looked good in his jumpsuit. Those are the same colors as Burger King. You should practice saying you want fries with that. If that doesn't work out, you could always have a long and prosperous career teaching typewriter maintenance at the Roco Klub School for women. That got a chuckle out. FCO, he looks at me and says, "You're no Tom

Cruz." I said, "There's another line from that movie that fits here. You can't handle the truth." Well, you can't. Truth is, you are a slimy, fat, short, balding, little [ __ ] excuse for a man that had to hurt people to get your rocks off. If you had any conscience at all the number of people you've hurt, the lives and families you've ruined would really bother you. The saddest part is you somehow found a beautiful woman that loved you, despite your shortcomings. Had three kids that loved you, too. But you threw it all away on

some ego-driven power trip because you were a ways the last kid picked for the team and never fit in. That was it. I was out of ammo. OBS looked at the CO and gave a little nod and he came and took him away. He came back and escorted us out. Not much was said on the ride home. We talked for a few minutes before she got out. She is happy to be working again. Her kids are doing better. They go to a family therapist once a week. Youngest on Zoom since she is away at school.

She was happy to hear that RS and I are doing well and that it looks like things are going to be okay for us. She gave me a hug and thanked me for calling her to come along. That was in the beginning of May. Pretty sure he is out by now. Update. Two quick examples of why we choose to stay and fight for reconciliation. A good friend here on Reddit told me weeks ago that he hopes that RS and I are still together into our 80s. A few weeks ago, I went to Great Clips for

a haircut. There was an elderly gentleman sitting by himself waiting and an elderly woman getting her hair done. While I was getting my haircut, she was finished and he came and helped her. She had difficulty walking. He helped her. She asked why she was there. He told her to get her hair done. She wanted to go back and have it done. He calmly told her it was done already. It went like that for the next 5 minutes until they left. Her saying she didn't have any dollar to pay. Him saying it was okay. Asking when

they would get to see the doctor, he doted over her. His devotion obvious. When they had left, the woman cutting my hair told me they are in their mid 80s, married over 60 years. He cares for her by himself in their home. Next, for a while now, the Saturday before Father's Day has been a day my company takes off. Sort of a break mid- busy season. I reserve a pavilion at a park and have a cookout for employees and their families. Snow season bonuses are handed out from the guys that shovel sidewalks to guys that

drive front-end loaders. Everyone gets something. In past years, RS and I would do all the cooking, serving, etc. Of course, earlier this year, that happening again was in doubt. I am glad we are at a point where we able to do it this year. AP number two was there looking like she worked with everyone for years. She helped grill burgers for everyone. Just a couple of good stories for a change. Big day coming up Friday.