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Hello, everyone, welcome to another episode of pod people, a place where we meet to see and hear people People who Do People who happen, people who inspire Our guest today is the psychologist and writer who needs no introduction All the best, my Dear , what a pleasure to be with you again here in São Paulo, we said we were coming, right, and we are keeping our promise, but we who are honored to be here with you, imagine that everything is fine, my dear, good evening, good evening, nice to meet you Once again being with you

is a huge pleasure and I'm sure this night is going to be beautiful, I also think before I start I wanted to give you two messages, first of all, thank Flow studios who are hosting us this week on the People pod here in São Paulo, thank you very much, we have made everything available here for us, the studio, the camera staff, as well as having a super competent and friendly team, and another thing is that today we are going to do a draw for five books, minds that love them so much, okay, how come? It's

going to be this draw, you're going to send questions and we're going to answer them, there's going to be a time when we stop and start answering the questions. Michele is receiving the questions and then the five most interesting questions will win a book. It's the criteria, every time she reads a question, we'll ask it like this, ah, this one is interesting. In the end, whatever coincides with the three of us, there will be the five questions that will each lead to a book . Let's get started, let's go Well, I think there is one

thing that human beings have never needed so much, which is to relate, define for us what a healthy relationship is, so that later we can understand what an unhealthy relationship is, a healthy relationship is the one that gives rise to what's best about you, right? Because we get very worried about how I feel about that person and sometimes we forget to take into account what the other person makes me feel, right? How do I feel about that creature? I feel calm, safe , welcome, respected, so what does that person make me feel not only in

relation to them but in relation to myself, so a healthy relationship is one that doesn't hurt, you don't need to force yourself, things flow and It doesn't mean the absence of conflicts, but it does mean that you have good will, you have a more human perspective on the conflict you are going through and the desire to resolve it. This is a healthy functional relationship. You're saying something so cool that it's more or less at least one definition of love, at least for me, love is what awakens the best in me, right ? An old pair

of pajamas that we put on is nice, a slipper is more or less that's that routine that's nice where you don't need to prove anything all the time, now of course there are pillars of a good relationship, right? So it's trust, right? It's respect, that in any human relationship, it doesn't even have to be loving, but in any relationship, if you don't respect that person, if you don't trust that person, if you don't know that you can count on them no matter what happens, right, if you don't have complicity, the relationship It's complicated, right? And

then you renew the admiration you have for the person. You start living , you fall in love a little. You know, there are a thousand phases in any relationship. What do you want to have in your life? I think this is the first question you have to ask. It's possible to have a healthy relationship with very different values ​​between two people . They say it 's the differences that attract, right, but I think it's the other way around. Maybe for good occasional sex, right, but if you don't have affinities, right, if I like the day

and the other likes the night, if I like the course, he knows if you don't have common plans, ideals, dreams, Of course, everyone can have their own, but they have to agree, right? And especially if you don't have similar values, I can't do it being with someone who thinks radically against me as opposed to I also think that each one I think that no one has to be like anyone else but I believe that I can give in I can not eat Japanese food and want to accompany you Because I know that you like it

M yes but AC That 's respect and complicity now it's not every week that I'm going to eat Japanese with you but I'm going to be there accompanying you, right ? If you are not Generous in social life, it will be difficult for you to look at the person and say wow, they are not cool, so I will try to make things easier . You're saying something so interesting, you talked about CDs, right? Eh, I think we give in until we stop being violent people, exactly because I think that love has to have a very

large dose of admiration, I can't. loving what I don't admire and it's not material admiration it's admiration for an education through a gesture of generosity and I think that when it's love and first I can have that look at the other with admiration But I can also make the other see me because I see a lot of relationships where one person gives a lot and the other only receives, I think there is a double need for a Two-Way Out is important when we talk to you in Japanese, I'm giving in to you but I would

like you to be too Watch Meu Fluminense, yes , but you realize that if you start to give in all the time, the other person gets used to it quickly, it's that thing about coming back, but then from the moment you open it you need to be following it because if you mess up, it becomes a habit exactly and you have to so being a functional relationship is what goes both ways, let's make agreements So today I please you, tomorrow you do something nice that I like, it doesn't have to be twins, liking everything the

same, doing everything the same, right? I don't even think it has to be Twins, yes, I think they have to do what they want. In some moments, I don't like it, and Ok, that's right, I also have to have it because there are three, there are three elements in any relationship, there is I, I have you, and there is we, so I I have to have my things, my individuality, my tastes, my moments alone with friends, I think the hidden things that have been happening and have always happened in history, in relationships, I think when

you start giving up everything that is yours, you and then it's what happens that always appears in our offices must also happen to you ah then I left I ended my relationship I'm out of my social cycle because you stop being you and the interesting thing is that if you get to know me you get to know me that way I 'm liking B and CE, I think what you're doing is changing everything and then you're going to lose this enchantment because what enchants me is you today, the way you are uhum and we keep

changing so that this relationship stays forever or for as long as it lasts I think love is true and lasts as long as it exists and if it ends we will also be friends and respect and touch life be eternal while it lasts, right, a lot of perfect respect that happens Sometimes it changes the format and becomes a wonderful friendship which is also love, right? I think that now, what would you say, in this time that we live on a social network of collaborative relationships that we see, right? What is it that is making it

so difficult for people to have a relationship that is truth first is the predisposition to this uhum because nowadays I think we are all on shelves You know there is one one it seems like an idea has developed that in 5 minutes you will find someone better, perfect, right? So people don't, they don't give in to relationships They don't give in to any of them and they don't know the other in depth because there's always the perspective of the prettier woman, the hottest, the guy with the most money, the hottest , but I don't know

what else. be better, right Uh, I see this a lot, I have this complaint about women everywhere, it's not just Brazil, you know about all social classes, everything you can imagine, I can't relate, the guy for a week is saying everything is fine with 15 days he loves me after 17 days he disappeared And then he's already with another person or with others, right, the relationship apps, do you think they brought this movement, this great offer of possibilities that people are losing themselves in this, yes, and this has been perpetuated in pandemic, right? It increased

and solidified much more, right? Because there are good things in a dating app, right ? You have the possibility of meeting people that you wouldn't meet walking down the street, right? We don't go out as much, we don't expose ourselves as much, So you're safe at your house you're calm you know them but then they talk to me Ah but he's talking to me he's talking to 10 I said you will too Of course because I think the same thing happens to women now when they find someone they're interested in in general women generally change

their appearance Uh, I don't know, I don't think this issue of the application is against it, but I think that opening something, human beings don't deal with excess, with too much excess, with too much supply, it's that thing if you have a lot offer of sweets you'll fall for the sweets I always say I don't take them home because it gives me temptation I leave them out, understand Of course, because that's no use because people say that, oh, I'm going to leave a sweet at home because I can get up at dawn, man. love ,

you're going to leave the sweetie, you're going to get up at dawn and get up in the morning, you're going to come back from the last one, exactly, no, no, there's no such problem . This one isn't cool, but look, someone here came in who likes something else, but Ana, things were more limited until not so long ago when you got married it was kind of for life today the number of people alone separated post-divorce post What's up The guy doesn't want to, he just got out of a marriage, he has small children, he doesn't

want to get into another relationship right away, the woman left a relationship, she may also have this idea or she doesn't want to already have someone, she likes her life, right, with someone fixed, you want to have one, there's a lot, there's a lot of supply, there's a lot, there's a lot of supply, there's a lot of supply, all excess, human beings deal badly with excess and we're at the height of it, so it's as if it were on the shelf, it was in a shopping mall of possibilities, a virtual and real shelf also now

do you think that the issue of virtual relationships and dating sites and apps has increased the possibility of an increase in toxic relationships and abusive relationships because the profile of these people , right? the lack of others more fragile people more fragile people do you think this has also increased I think it has increased in general not only that's why I think this also contributes But it's in all aspects we're seeing uhum right It's impressive how women are not knowing how to define what they want and what they won't approve of, we create a lot

of content, we create a lot of informative content, right for people , right? So, when we see, it's different, right, women still behave like their mothers No. They don't know because if she is stricter and more closed, there are 25,000 more in the queue. If she is very open and accepts everything straight away, she will be one more and then she thinks well, I don't have a difference because all the women are there at their disposal, those who they are available obviously, right, so she doesn't really know how to act and men do the same

way, I've heard things like that, well, I can't say anything anymore because everything is harassment, uh, right, or else the guy doesn't know how to reach out to another woman. because it's all abuse, everything, so I think we need to give it one because these changes, right, there's a time when we have to find a balance, we went from nothing a day to everything, so when we find a balance, maybe things will work better because now it's a bit messy At least it's the demand that comes to me exactly, right, of course there's everything all

the time when I make the video the comments come, but with me it was different, we can't make a video for each human reaction each one has a story, right, video is for us in general Open Let's think and let's discuss let's get here at This is an opening reflection we talk to an audience, oh no, but it's not like that, it wasn't like that for you, it wasn't like that with someone else, but it could be like that with someone else, right? You're saying something, hey, I think people are also beginning to understand what

a relationship is. toxic, right, I think a lot of women were and men were too and men too because we talk a lot Oh because the woman in the relationship is toxic but there are men too who go through very difficult situations and they usually don't talk, eh I think that before people didn't know that it was a toxic relationship I thought that I knew it was bad but there wasn't a bad name, there wasn't a name exactly. Talk a little about that because people say that, but that's what I went through, I said but

that's a toxic relationship, right? Talk about that a little for us, so women, many women, right, it's happened to men too, I even know men who suffer, and I see women's behavior is the same as men's behavior, right, one, it's curious, they act the same way, speaking loudly, intimidating, threatening, undermining self-esteem, right, humiliating. right, your brother earns more, I already see it, I've seen it, I've lived with it in Social, it's really shocking, right, but women didn't realize it because precisely because of the education we had along the way, you know, the female route, So

we have to give up the marriage will work if the woman knows how to give in, understand the man, at some point he gets tired of being the woman you are, at some point he will realize, hell, if you need a microscope for the guy to understand who you are in that relationship, right? And today women are realizing that he does what he wants and she can't do it that everything that happens wrong is her fault that she has most of the responsibilities and he just works outside the home and she does everything else and

still works outside the home I mean, she's really feeling abused and today she's realizing she also has a voice because nowadays everyone talks about it, she won't be looked at anymore and they'll say Wow, this woman is interesting because it's never been talked about so much Never so many women Today they can come and have this perception and give it a name, but we also have a side that has never had so much feminicide. I've never seen a group of men so angry with women. I also see things so angry, right? That's the thing. of

Red peill and these are involuntary celibates who say that women are alone because they don't accept their masculinity or don't subdue themselves and they think that we die of penis envy exactly still you count I count it's still this as if that If it were to give you rights, the fact of having a penis doesn't give you rights, so because it's not a weapon, it's not an instrument of power, it's not even just their anatomy and like we have ours, right? being more than the other I don't know when this started when I realized it

was already like this, men and women were never enemies, we have to work together, right? I even think that women sometimes leave their role, so does man. right And maybe that's why nowadays relationships are a little complicated but that tends to be either or we'll find a balance Or it'll go downhill for good because a woman and not to mention that women can't get old in Brazil, women can't get old, right? She has to be beautiful, I would say Latin America, this culture, I think, has a hatred for youth, as opposed to it, it's almost

as if it were forbidden, more than getting old, to mature, and you see that maturing brings a heritage, a cool charge. of intellectuality and spirituality we are heading towards ISS No It is not valued but it was supposed to be like this it should be healthy maturity it should be this so much so that there are very interesting women aged 50 60 65 years old who are great well disposed super healthy beautiful but many men are not they don't even want to meet No, no, I've seen things on social media that women after 25 years

are no longer 25, can you imagine at the same time 25 years because at the same time that we are giving more voice to women, at the same time this is creating a opposite radical movement, for example, I remember very well that when we were younger we had a deep admiration by older women, right, I remember that Nisf actress was a sexual symbol, you know, Leila Diniz, then we had Brigit Bardô, the cinema flooded us with very interesting women who were already over 40, today it's like it can't be interesting, no, you aceu It's gotten

much worse, you 've gotten older, you've completely lost your value. Go knitting, exactly, right? As if you couldn't create anything anymore, you had nothing to offer, and we've never aged so well, right? we are being punished because of our age So what you're talking about went from 25 women to 30 years old, imagine our generation had children after 35 because we wanted to work, people have a good mind, we can take that seriously We'll go reading a comment like this says Well, I'm sorry that there's been a month ass now for a girl for a

girl for a teenager a young adult how do you do that you're graduating that okay I'm going to give an example that was an example that there I think we can understand this well, Julia Roberts, the beautiful woman, you know, wonderful, that woman has always been and is still wonderful, she was with her niece, they were having dinner , playing at home and then they made a story, they started like this, you're old because her very pretty niece even looks like her, she has some features but she was normal at home like her niece was

normal at home and then there was an avalanche of criticism and she said that, people, that's ok with me, I'm thinking what's wrong with me? niece next to me, if she received that avalanche of criticism, eh , how would she read this with one of her age, right? danger of that, right, Ana, because that's why women are increasingly undergoing procedure on top of procedure, sometimes even risky surgeries or putting their lives at risk, right, putting their lives at risk and, uh, rushing because she thinks she starts to think that she has she has little time

to do things so she runs over everything, you know, living things that she doesn't need to live because she feels that she has little time and goes to a dispute in Glória, right, because then she will compete for years, even because it's not dispute but as if it had to be disputed But this doesn't just come from men, it comes from the women themselves, I think even more cruelly you just said something, I think the women themselves when we're there at a time of day when we can look a little on social media and I

see a movement where women themselves place themselves in a place playing and demeaning others, they go more to women, they devalue women much more than men themselves, you don't see much in the comments, it comes from them, so like that I think it's time to unite more because you came together to achieve status so you can win I think it's so beautiful when I see a coo of a company being a woman, you know, a reference for me like Ana Beatriz as a woman Wow, don't even mention Of course one, right, but what is it

like there are few men who come from a culture that look up to a mother in a woman as a reference to reach I have my reference Today it's my mother it's Ana Beatriz they're women I want to take all the teaching they brought to me but then we see other women not defending other women not detonating not only not defending detonating detonating the so-called female sorority hasn't taken off yet, so what if we can't mobilize these women, right ? male and female but so we expect sorority we expect empathy we expect a nice word

respect we can't get it if we can't do this we have to get stronger and stronger because the bombing is very cruel you see suicide what is it? it's increasing exactly, I was going to talk exactly about this about the increase in suicide and the pressure for this type of physical performance, this performance is people today, for example, I went to have my first botox in Manaí at 54 years old first and I do it once a year because the People, I don't have to do it for three three months, I said people, I won't

do it because I lose my expression I don't want that, right? And then I see that today the girls are starting at 18, it's all much earlier, much earlier That reminds me of boys, teenagers using Viagra, exactly, you know, I mean you're not even giving the passage of time a chance to mature normal of things I saw is the right time for you to do this processes Oh why not because if you wait for everything to fall then there's no point you have to go through procedures very young for Menin J I see women who

look like a mask of C expression no expression at all is a recently, a colleague and plastic surgeon sent me a 15 year old teenager Alex, I would like you to do an assessment because then I won't put silicone on her if you think so, so the parents also value this a lot, you know, in my time it was like that let's wait for it to mature and women would only put silicone corne on after ah, they got married, breastfeeding, exact breastfeeding is nothing against suddenly, and insecurity, self-esteem Ok, but let's wait a little, right,

and, people are advancing this process more and more, and that's why I think it's getting to the 30 with that vacuum which is what has been happening now we see men and women aged 30 who look like they gave everything they could and got there and life stopped, I think it's so beautiful when I gave my 40th birthday invitation to Ana Ana said life starts here and really today I would say after 50 after It's because there's always 10 more, right ? because everything starts too early, right? The girls are already very different. I wanted

you to see me at 15 years old . At 15 years old, what's different, right? So everything has changed and we really have to understand and we have to keep moving forward, but mothers, nowadays, fathers, the girl starts to be bullied because she doesn't have breasts, so let's get silicone Come on, parents are also lost in many situations, this thing you're talking about parents, I don't know if you saw it on the networks, I don't know if you saw it too. Hey, parents exposing their children to ridicule to get likes started with a game that

the father and mother They came with children like this, 5 years old, they took an egg and broke it on the child's head, oh I've seen that on Instagram and the child and the child, yes, each one had a reaction, right, scared because they weren't warned, scared, what is this? I'm crazy about my mother kicking me but to win what Live and the mother laughs playing Live And then there was this one and then there was another one 15 days ago which was putting children Too young to say bad words Ah, I didn't see that,

I didn't see that I saw the swearing championship, what is this, these people couldn't even be fathers or mothers because they made their children a product to be liked? years old, she's there with an egg on her head, looking like an idiot and saying a swear word without even knowing exactly why she's there, but the child is scared of the egg and you see that she's embarrassed, but the swear word is the parents. They'll laugh, people will laugh because he's funny, so he'll grow up thinking he 's interesting , right, he attracts attention, he's interesting,

he's pleasing, right? exactly that you are going to raise a delinquent he will grow up thinking so ah it's not wrong to set limits So parents, many parents are afraid to set limits and they don't know how much the limit is a proof of love children who grow up Without Limits they don't feel Beloved, you can certainly do everything, no one doesn't care about anything, you care about me, I can do whatever I want, no, you won't respect it because it's a relationship of equals, he doesn't know who to imitate which models, he has, he

will copy models paternal and maternal is not one so if you give everything if you deprive yourself of any frustration a Cri grows an element that thinks the world should do everything for it does not have a spirit of search cannot get frustrated cannot change places collective collective no can share, so that's the worst thing about a father who loves his children, right? He can make you think he can't. I think we're at that moment where and I at least come from a reality where we had to fight, right? You too, anyway. and today we

have a generation that is what I hear a lot in the office Oh but I never had that that's why I'm giving it there it was a sacrifice sacrifice exactly So today I give the credit card earlier, you know And then no There's that one more thing because he already has his own card, you know, in the past, let's wait, let's wait for Christmas, let's wait, Maternal, not a 5-year-old child with a cell phone, we can't forget that today's cell phone, any smartphone today has much more technology than all the computers that took man to

the moon, imagine it's true, so it's not a harmless thing, it can open up unbelievable things for the exposed and the worst part, the parents who release it don't know how to impose limits there because a child with a cell phone you have I want to limit what goes on YouTube What, for example, I have great nephews and they catch it before they start to catch it, I go there and limit everything, I say what you want oh I want to see a cartoon on YouTube then I go I look at that one, I still

look at my sister, okay, okay, I forbid everything else, okay, look at that and prevent it and you have to have access to what your son is seeing, what he is exposed to, where that is You can stay locked in your room all day, it's not normal, it's not normal, communities that teach you how to hurt yourself a lot, a lot, suicide, people teach you how to remove emotional pain. I've seen something like that, exactly, challenges, challenges, those whale games, that suicide thing, Whale Blue Whale wasn't the blue whale, I remember that exactly, parents don't

even dream about what's happening, I light it up and today I think that this challenge we're facing due to the pressure of social media and suicide is because the references we're having to eh , digital references are coming without any value, without any guidance, knowledge to talk about certain subjects, I respect everyone, they have the right and watch what they want, but this has had a lot of influence on those of us who work with human behavior, but if Parents don't have this idea, imagine the child is aware of the young person who is there

because they have access and And then I look at the guy, he has 1 million followers, he is a reference for me, so he arrives and introduces himself, the relationship is over and he takes it and show why if we say something about content that is serious, you know, some important words that we avoid saying otherwise we lose engagement, everything today is shown, eh, talking about how to feel physical pain because that's what I picked up last week, that's what who can't talk because the platform cuts it off but can show it because the 16

year old girl arrived at the office exactly saying how she learned, she learned sometimes because look at the failure of the platforms because you can't talk because the number is programmed to capture and things written and spoken things little written but written now if you make a demonstrative video, no, you can, if it's with mime, if it is, then it goes in its entirety, I'll feel pain and I'll start talking, no, and it's as if I'm going to feel pain here to relieve it. the pain there, what do you mean, from the loss of frustration,

but you have to feel the pain from the loss of frustration that is part of your growth because we notice people who don't, most of the people like me, I have, right? I get a lot of an audience that is very attached to the difficulty of dealing with rejection, yes, oh, that's why I want it . the biggest frustration is death People, no one wants to die but everyone will die if we don't start to understand that there are rules of physical existence that have to be respected and it's okay now if I can't be

frustrated I can't die either so then How does life frustrate us, we are frustrated, we can be born, Love, have you seen Birth, you are there in that cute, warm place, suddenly you see a horrible light, a noise, that's what we have We have to cry to open the lung, it hurts like hell, luck of the draw, we don't remember, you know, but because you have to open that lung, the air comes in as if it were bubble wrap, it's making a mess, it's opening all those little balls that are the alvelos, so the life

begins with pain And if we have wisdom it will probably end with less pain if we have understanding otherwise it will be horrible also like in the middle of the way I have no frustrations we have to prepare for that Obviously, right But you You see , these are situations that were unimaginable 20 years ago, 20 or 30 years ago, there weren't many things, but not with this broadcast, publicity, right? of a child, right, I had to sit with my father with my own and the beginning of adolescence arrives, look, you two don't know how

to deal with this grief because mom, she used to choose her clothes all her life, do this, do that, and now you she 's already choosing her clothes when she's 12 or 13 years old. So she doesn't know how to deal with it, just like you don't know either because we worked with ambiguity there, you know, whether you're a child or an adult, so for some things we had to arrive and train and talking to these parents with this teenager you don't know what's going on because your mother always did this for you so now

when you ask to go to a shopping mall she talks to you, you're still a child but when you make a mess or fight with your brother younger, she says that you are already a man so we have to work on that today, not today, we have to train him so that he is careful with his skills than with the network groups that he is with, the group identity that we In the past, today, children, their group identity is the identity of the Virtual game, probably virtual, the identity and if this were so wonderful, because

there is the Internet, social networks have sensational things, but if what prevailed was positive, things wouldn't be As it is, we just look at whether it's a romantic relationship, a family relationship, a social relationship, you know, we don't see empathy, we see a lot of critical problems, things that you know detonate Self-esteem, you're left aimless to the point that many people try, we know what, to take our own lives. so when you do a general analysis you see that things are more negative than positive, somehow we still don't know how to select the good side

of what we have, we've never had so much access to knowledge, so people can have self-knowledge today, a person who says, oh, I don't have anywhere to study, lies, there are wonderful things Universities all over the world with high quality free content, there are people today who can prepare for the entrance exam with content that is available for free. Without a doubt, then So, I think we're still learning how to deal with all this, but there's something about what we were talking about that worries me a lot, the challenge of swearing, for example, first of

all, we don't set limits, Ok, but that's what I still think is the case. life is going to happen because if that teenager reaches his first internship or at work he starts playing with swearing someone will take that person away, life will happen and it will happen But the point is that today this challenge I was shocked by children saying swear words and father and mother laughing and competing there for likes there are sexual practices mainly by people who abuse children that swearing excites Hmm, imagine what will affect you and that child is vulnerable exposed

there if one day that child comes into the hands of a If an abuser starts saying these bad words, she will think it's ok. You understand the distortions, you know, they are distortions, then you say oh, I can't say bad words, look, I don't think you should because you have to be a reference for a child and no one says bad words, except for the shit. For you from the theater, everyone knows it's affection, shit for you, good luck within that context, swearing, no one says it when it's like that, super cute, wonderful, usually people

say it because someone stepped on their toes, yes, right, because it's offending because they want to offend, so no. it makes a lot of sense because What is the point of this really exactly always It's violent, to say the least, no one talks like that oh I'm so happy that now I'm going to say no and this child is also going to school teacher Go Go Go stop this behavior she won't allow it so the child is left without r she doesn't know she doesn't know what is she going to do, exactly another thing that

we had, I'm not here right now talking about a religion, but I'm talking about principles, right? I remember that I had, uh, I forgot the term now, but we had a chair that it was moral education moral and civic education where we needed to learn to understand each other to respond schools today are no longer working parents when I talk about religion I'm not talking about a specific one but it gives principles, you know, it's solidarity, empathy, starting from little teach look here you got this new toy today we're going to give it to you

from here these are really cool values ​​accumulation you know And then you get there no I want to teach my son to be more supportive But you arrive and said like this since you were little you give a and starts teaching that we have to take that one out and give it to another classmate who doesn't know how to do a job on a daily basis, you see. And this has to come from home and I think we're also in something very similar to that. through the digital world, because of the rush that life is,

I know that the life of a father today, to educate a child to put food in the house, sometimes you have to leave, everyone knows, to take care of it, but the little time I have with my child I'm going to give values, say I'm going to give love, I'm going to give attention and today we get stuck on screens we get, for example, civic moral education, it was very bad, it was bad, it wasn't a pain, it was a pain because it was a teacher putting things there that the We were like that because

teaching is linked to practice, there's no point talking about theory if that, for example, there's no point in the school saying you have to be good, you have to, if she doesn't, promote a campaign because I'm kind, school director Ah, yes. So it was and I worked at a school that had a base of values ​​that at that time were no longer education Civic morals but there was this concept of coming there like on a label Zinho what Bia is putting now it's up to us, the educator, the father, us put it like this, present

that content, make experiences, make the dynamics I think the example drags is like, the example, putting you to live this here is bad when you're in that role, now when you move here you're not bad either, so that's how you put yourself in the someone else's place, so I think it's experience, I think that in our time it was really boring, it was a lot of theory, but today we can use the resources of the social network itself to change things a little more, but now there's no point in that. If we have fully prepared

parents who don't even know why they are having a child, in the same way that they don't know why they want a relationship, I see that the majority today have children and are not prepared to have children, sometimes they don't even want them, sometimes they don't even want them, but you ca n't put this position in place, yes there are today a legion of people who are opting for solitude or solitude, and for not having children, both men and women, but you don't, but that comes from the church, also that Family thing, the concept of

Happiness was very you had to get married , have children, reproduce So, but I believe so, I don't know, I think it's changing, but one by one, which doesn't make sense. Because the relationship continues to be validated, if you have a child, it continues, you can see, do you have it today? 10 marriages you have a child with each Cop with each person you have a relationship with it seems that what legitimizes and gives you greater importance if you give a child to a man or I don't know if the man also wants that woman

that is special she another side of the prejudice of that thing of the person who got married and made the choice of not wanting to have children and society is covering you, no you won't have a child and that's right, but that's often the case, the woman doesn't want to have one and because of pressure she Then there will be a separation up front or else one will be very unhappy because if they don't want it, what do those who get what they want or don't want, what prevails doesn't win, right? Because what prevails, right?

so you We don't even talk about it like we don't talk about death in my house when we used to talk about it Well, we need it, we don't have to, if we die, how do we do it, go, cremate it, then don't mention it, turn your mouth away, people, right? those subjects that were Untouchables couldn't talk about This is also one of motherhood and fatherhood, right It's as if you weren't serious, you don't want anything serious with me, if you don't want to start a family, you can be a family of two now I

see now you have a child has to be legal, that's for sure, there's no way and I see men like this who had two children then they separate and then they marry again, usually with younger women, and they don't want any more, some even had a vasectomy and And then the woman who arrives and wants a child, as if it were like this, I have to equalize myself, very common, right? And then he will try to reverse the vasectomy, he will try to do insemination and he will try everything for these women, or if he

loses, he can lose the woman, because if the woman really has the dream of being a mother and she gets a guy who says no I already have a child I already have one she goes CR another one and the two start conflict yes or he will give in and try or not and the idea is always like this no I I'm going to double it over time I'm going to double it or I'm going to get pregnant uhum by force exactly without knowing and ah then he's going to fall in love he's not going

to like his son only the wedding will come to hell because the guy feels like he's a CDO and rightly so because he said that he didn't want and it's a lifelong project, it's not something that, right? That's it, I see things like this happen a lot that aren't said, eh, everything is there and he, even the men I treated him, didn't say, I said it like that, but you already said it. For her, I didn't say it and I said I don't want any more children and then they're starting to get to know each

other, she doesn't want to get married either, my love, then the woman says no, but I want it now, I want it, I want it, and not to mention the patchwork quilt that That's right, because I 'm married, I have a son, then I separate, there's another one, I get married and he gets married. Everyone has someone else, so there are my children, our children, your children, then those who were the first feel neglected, so there you have it. problem Sometimes the stepmother, you know, those things or the stepfather and it makes a difference and

it's very complicated, there were problems that in the past there shouldn't have been others, right, but these ones weren't real, there were less of them, this one really wasn't there and the most interesting thing is when he comes with two children she comes with three then they separate and her three want to come here because he is being a better father than she is as a mother we have had this happen too, right not with him but I am my stepfather's best friend and I want to stay I don't want to be with him, but

for another relationship that's coming up, but it's not to give you a headache, it's very complicated, well comp ag Then, virtual betrayals like that are something you talk about a lot about relationships. So I wanted to bring this up like that. That's it for you and this thing appears to you a lot because it's today's world, right, we didn't have that much back then, it's much easier, it's much easier, right ? silently and looked, he's talking to someone there in that chat room, today, not today, it's access, it's the applications, it's all WhatsApp, it's the

same, right? teenager of mine who was teaching me that if you give Naí three likes, for example, no, and you arrived, you're my friend, he was teaching me that, you're my friend, he said it like this, have you seen Anir, what a babe, she's that lock of hers I said no then he goes there and introduces me ooo there I go into her profile her profile if I like her stuff three times in a row I'm already singing her ah I didn't know, good to know, good to know, right, like, it was a 16 year

old teenager who taught me three ctid three cuts in a row you know I'm singing people three and pay attention it's not three likes like you were there on the beach then at church and then at the Christmas party so they are different times they are those three in a row that you had if you if you liked those three in a row there you can now go PR to ol ol ol crazy you today have more than 1 million followers you have more than five more than 5 million followers how will you see if

a person liked three See, there's no way, but then we're from another era, right? I'm talking about their era, but we see it through the comments, so it's like this, it's not possible to read all the comments, this process has never changed much And then I wanted to understand how you deal with this there in the office in the chat the tip you give what is betrayal what is not betrayal what betrayal within the virtu area but it is betrayal eh if you start talking to a person hidden from your partner virtually or in person

it's the same thing because you're first doing it in secret, so it's already a betrayal of trust in what you're omitting, you proposed it, right? And you know that it has to be done in secret because the person won't agree, isn't it you? plans to be able to talk to that person so the guy starts all the time, no, I'm going to the market, he wants me to go to the bakery, he looks for space that he never did, right, or he takes a little longer or he goes to the bathroom, he takes his cell

phone, he's taking a shower with the cell phone on his side he has a waterproof case he doesn't separate it anymore it becomes an extension of him or her, right, then the partner D he comes back, he's in the no no no s to do number two, understand three times number two You have diarrhea , right ? physical contact is not betrayal. Cheating is what you have with that person, right, you spend time, you talk to that person, you donate your time, you juggle how that might not be Treason, it's because excuses come. There's no

such thing as a virtual thing, it's just a chat, isn't it, but it's the breaking of an agreement, the breaking of an agreement, I'm sure no one just keeps saying hi, my love, how are you? In a week or two there will be a problem getting to know each other, no, send a video call Then you start having virtual sex and how come this isn't cheating, cheating isn't just if you're together but it's heading towards that uhum fatally cam is and because what is the criteria I'm asking randomly about cheating and saying it like that,

no, but it's worth it Is it worth continuing or committing betrayal? Definitely, it's the eighth and it's not going to change. There's no way the person already has this habit, right ? There's a lot of love to give, it's also not a thing that has been going on there, right ? There's exactly that, I can tell, right? You lost it. At some point in the process, the marriage was there, there was some crisis, some difficult moment, it was there, you made a mistake, you recognized it, it's there now, the person is continually already the Eighth

is already the profile exactly the person's profile, you know, but people like that the only mistake is wanting to form a relationship Exactly why not, you're obligated to get married Damn, you're not obligated to get married Why do you propose to have a monogamous relationship with this person? profile because you don't want the person to do this to you they want to close the other person's relationship but not theirs the woman will forgive the first second third the twentieth betrayal that's not it and there are men who say exactly like that but she already She

met me, that's how I was in funk, she met me there, yes, so you have to live there, meet you in the cemetery, how do you do it? It's things like that, without any reason here, cry. Don't you think that justifying or unjustifying has that profile too? who thinks it's the same way, I'm going to get pregnant and I'm going to save my marriage, but there's also that profile that I met there in a three-way relationship and he thinks I managed to get him out of that three-way relationship, I brought him here in those first

few months, it was great, both of them there, heat of that emotion And then it starts again he or she asks to go or he or she asks to have the third person again then comes the crisis because that's what I thought would change he had to have changed but then he comes and says but she met me So you say a configured three-way relationship is because what I see is a lot of women who get involved with a married man, right, then they separate that, but when they get the man to separate because it's

not that easy, then he separates them, right? Then when they separate sometimes he becomes his ex-wife's lover and he also has his ex-wife. You've seen this in several cases like this right, so it becomes a rivalry, a dispute And then the guy doesn't stay with one or the other, he goes to someone else who then comes in. Right, and the woman, but you see, then we fall into something like that, which is very profile of the narcissistic man, right, he thinks he is, look, look at the prize he has, he cheated on his wife, the

woman didn't accept it in quotation marks, separated, then he conquers this woman as if she were his reservoir of Look how I am [ __ ], right, he conquered aa otherwise, he already had another one so much that she found it Then he's going to win her back So this guy is like, well, I'm very good because that's how I won back the woman who separated him, so from then on, my dear, he's going to have a two, three, or five because each one will give the trophy, people, the trophy, the problem is that he

has it, he can because he has women who submit to this, we don't need to have a narcissistic profile, Ana doesn't need it anymore because women They don't want to give up, can't you see that the woman she was cheated on, the guy went with the other one, he married the other one and she accepts being his girlfriend and continues, that is to say, she leaves the role of wife and he doesn't even need to be a narcissist, it's not difficult for a man to do this or for a woman too suddenly, right Now It

depends on what you're looking for in a relationship, right, if you have it , it's what that person makes me feel, how I feel . That's it, but those cases that we had at the beginning of the world when we started working in our time Ah, the parents separate and the child stays with me there. Pressure begins here, it's at Dad's house, it's better from here. go to your father's house and your father presses here I think that relationships are like that too oh this one is good at that oh but it's getting boring here

you said something perfect there are men who start out like this no but I have three women doctor so I say like this, but why not because wonderful so-and-so, we play sports, we run, we do marathons, the other one, the other one, takes care of me, it's the food, the coffee, and the other one is remin, and the other one, I love traveling with the other one, she has a thing he loves now it's not possible for us to be satisfied all the time I think you can love 10 people at the same time you

just can't keep 10 exactly right or or think that you will have this privilege of having everything doesn't exist That's because we're not everything, right? Because like that, we leave ourselves wanting in many things and we have a touch here and there, right? The person says it and you'll improve yourself, if you want, you're in the mood, exactly, you only improve if you have like that and recognize that we need it because we don't change anyone now, people today or because it's difficult for the relationship to move forward so it's leveling out there, you know,

so I'm going, I'm going to put up with it and let's go, let's go, let's see how far it goes and there's another thing like that I don't know if you notice this, I had many patients, both men and women, who had the practice of using what I say, but of attending call girls and call boys, ok Uh, and many of them ended up getting involved and getting married. and then this marriage, at the beginning, was like that, and it changed completely and it was thrown in the face of both the guy who married the

girl from the program and the woman who married the caller from the program or also the man who married the boy from the program ISO too and so on all the possibilities What makes a person think that someone who is a sex worker will accept conditions that are so different and that that person will change the other and keep throwing in the other's face that what this is is because the A person who makes a living from prostitution always comes with the idea that they do that because they had no other alternative, right? So it's

something that would have a short lifespan, which isn't cool, for a while when they didn't have any other option, they couldn't, they needed money so much men and women have this speech And it's true a lot of times but there are also a lot of people who like it in part exactly I think there are a lot of people who like it and it's okay too everything It's okay as long as you admit it exactly and there are people who do it because earn money faster to have help and and and being a shelf to

climb and get to what you want, but I already had one at a certain time, so I was looking after a girl like that and when she got married, uhm, right, and the guy, instead of telling her to get out of this life, he said It's not a very nice source of income, complements, he gave support She separated because she felt offended and she met him as a call girl within that con Not as a client, but he met her and she told him what she was doing, they dated, right, and he didn't say anything

She took it easy that he didn't talk because there was no way to let go, but when she got married, she wanted him to talk, get out of it because I'm not going to share you with anyone Uhum She had this Rescue Rescue thing, deep down, she wanted to be from S el bu was what she was looking for But you see it must not have been discussed, as I have also seen cases of people who got married and met there, right, but they wanted to get married, they fell in love and there was Roberto,

at home it was Márcio and he was going and everything was fine and continued Continue working, she leaves the house in the morning, goes to her office, does her work, returns home and her husband knows exactly what he does but knows how to separate Roberto from Márcio, the issue is each one's expectations, I think it's about talking and Understanding now is, but it must be difficult, this man, out of curiosity, this man who told her to continue, was certainly part of the money she earned favoring him or not, it wasn't a thing, Da Cas Maybe

he didn't need to work hard because I understood, it was a good thing. complementation a good complementation Maybe he had a super open mind for him it wouldn't be a problem but it doesn't match because generally Brazilian men don't propose to get married, right? I understand exactly, but interestingly, this woman had an expectation, she had the expectation of the Fas story of being rescued, right liter saves then you marry a guy who says don't go on, everything is the prince doesn't rescue the problem is our expectations, right the idealizations that we make and we go

running after what we idealized And then you don't think it's funny that we don't say what we want often because we don't know or because we think the other knows or has noticed . We don't have a crystal ball, right? We weren't born with this gift, right? It would certainly be unbearable for you to read everyone's thoughts. There wouldn't be Harmony at all . There is a subject that is very interesting, it has happened to me a lot, I have even used your book to help that person who went through a difficult relationship, an abusive

relationship or it was a great pain to experience that separation and then puts themselves in that situation. place where I will never love anyone again, one thing is for me to choose, I'm mature enough to talk like that, I want to live a different life now, another thing is that person who has this pain, you know, and can't free themselves and thinks that's how everyone else relationships I'm going to live this pain so that's why And here comes love it hurts that you can because of all this experience that you bring it doesn't hurt that

love doesn't hurt we have Naí's book on the screen which is love doesn't hurt I agree, love doesn't hurt because people start to be afraid of loving, right? But look, they tell me every day, every day, I can't take it anymore, what I've been through is enough and I say Look, beautiful in love, don't give me this book, I have one love for him was also the only one, right, until today I didn't have the courage to write anymore because Edit I think this book has helped a lot of people, yes, and it's very easy,

right, it's very easy to read and we can find it on Amazon So I think that Amazon I think it must be the has some bookstores which is that physical bookstores are more difficult it's virtual Certainly but what can we bring from this to these people who have suffered and Ok but let's try the problem who who lives The Lack of love, right, the problem of those who live Lack of love is that this person greatly reduces self-love because I tell you, you have every right to no longer want or try Ok, but Many want

to try And then I say when you say that, you besides If you victimize yourself, you put yourself in the position of a victim. total that you don't have the strength to face what you no longer believe in your perception because many say I chose so wrong I don't know if I know how to choose my finger is rotten my finger is rotten and I say you give a certificate that you It's totally weakened, it means you don't have the strength to choose Oops, I was wrong Bye, you're going to die, no one dies because

of anyone, so when we give up It's because we tell ourselves that we can't do it anymore, I don't have the strength anymore I think that It has a psychological effect, you know, you're protected, but you also don't live anymore, right? And then I keep saying, I don't like talking about empowering, right, but women have to step out of the role of victim, and don't get confused. with blaming the victim for this In complicated or abusive relationships, it has nothing to do with it, it's not different, it's different, but if you enter into a relationship

where you already detect signs because there are signs, I had signs there and I didn't see them when I told them That whole wedding thing was cool, yeah, but here we go, let's try some more. Damn, I've been dating a [ __ ] for a long time, I'm going to try that, but you can't give up on your strength like that, I can't give it anymore nothing is over, it's over with me, it's a certificate that you no longer have, for what you 're saying, it's not about losing the strength of your choice, it's about

refining your choice because what happens, for example, I see a lot of people say that they didn't get married, they changed completely People don't change completely or else you didn't see how they lived together, what he changed is that before his control, manipulation was called love, I love you so much that I can't bear to share you, not even with your mother, and that's how he loves me. what he changes he changes that it is no longer love then it is because I am commanding it I want it And then it will be like this

so he takes away the cuteness the cuteness And then it becomes pure order that is how it will be You talk about something that is very It's interesting that this thing about you bringing pain into a new relationship or bringing the expectations you had in the old one to this new one, nothing new is the same as the past and this new one will never be the same as the past, so that's also a protoc a Unless you have standards you always fall into the same trap, that's another story. If you don't have this self-knowledge

of seeing that you repeat patterns, you won't cut it, you have to go to therapy, you need to change because sometimes you already enter the other relationship and say oh with you I want you to be different because I went through this this this this this And then she is already she or he is putting himself in that place of victim and giving power to the other different power will not do this to me in your life whoever has You're the one who's paying attention and choosing to relate to this and always keep in mind

that you can make mistakes several times, even But this won't destroy you with your ability to love, uhum, because there are a lot of cool people now, if at first you give up you say no to how you do it and but also reinforcing the person has the right to not want anything else there are women who say to me I don't want to see men in my life anymore I say neither woman nor woman nor man nor woman null it's not It's also a right of the person but not because they're weak and it

was I'm afraid she feels good that's how I found myself I'm at my best alone happy.com.br that uhum exactly what's good even when you leave a relationship abusive or there is no time for you, the problem is that we leave, we leave, we change And then it's complicated because there is no time for you to reflect. If you leave one relationship, you enter another, you repeat the cycle, a rebound relationship, you will lead to another relationship, the same unresolved pains, neither detected nor seen a difference in jealousy because people ask a lot of pathological jealousy

of non-pathological ones. Normal jealousy is the one you feel when there is a real fact, a real situation. I'm with my husband and there's a woman blinking teaching herself or him looking you see that it's a situation that's really happening , right? Are you staring or is the man the woman changing places if you are ok with your partner you you signal signal and in good spirit right person responds This is fine now, pathological jealousy is when you make someone else's life hell, the other person has no peace, right? You can't do anything, you can't

communicate with anyone, you can't have friends, you can't, everything is betrayal. The person demands proof of love all the time, I think it's a tremendous drain, having to prove it to someone all the time and it's pure insecurity. Crystal clear, but I've seen this, for example, interestingly. I've seen many patients have husbands who were unbearable. in control Where are you because you show, film Ah, I'm at Bia's appointment So show, I say, I want, I'm here, look good, the voice can't be confused, so I've seen it and all these men cheated absurdly, yes, because they

had to have control to being able to cheat because if you do something for me you consider the possibility of me doing it for you exactly , right? that I want, it's proof of love, he trusts me, it's proof of lack of love, like he trusts me completely, right? That means I don't, I don't threaten him, I don't touch his cheese, right, I can go out and make him trust me, there's a woman who Why don't you know how to deal with it? Because we learned that jealousy is a sign of love, exactly that it's

a distortion. Total total, total and absolute . short duration a duration C a cur al intensity exactly exactly you can pick up someone's phone and a delicate message arrived, right or invasive and you see that there was no response or anything Uhum And then you don't but you have this intimacy, don't you have it if you don't you either block your ex or don't respond or see that something is going to happen something has to be done Exactly exactly and it's done if you like it and if you're at peace with the situation you do

it well you do it even without no problem what I noticed has happened After the pandemic, you ended up staying at home for a long time and then this new concept of the Home Office came along, right ? control of everything and now he comes back again or are they relationships that started in this relationship at home, you know, I started a relationship now and then the pandemic came and we started living together and then everything went back to normal within normality And then I No, I didn't know about this relationship with him outside the

house and then it starts But this doesn't have to do with dependence But it could be because that way you have the person in total control there, yes because it's there inside the house, you return to the real world that you go out and meet people and that person can no longer have the total control they had, but it's more insecurity, it's an insecurity, it's an impressive thing because if I need to know someone's step by step process, I either don't trust myself, uh, right, or I don't trust her at all so what's the point

of you being with someone who you think is going to betray you every 5 minutes ? with the other it's your option and it has to be the other's too, if not, this bilateral choice won't happen, so this harmony has to be there, otherwise it gets very complicated. Now I see people confuse love with affective dependence, like what do you mean? you don't miss me What do you mean and you don't need to talk so many times a day then you don't love me dependency is not love this is control it is control or the

person who thinks that if it is the other person that they leave their life is over they are not nothing without the other person , you see how the person lacks an internal instrument, right? The other person is wonderful, I love him, I want the company, but if he leaves, I'm whole, I'm whole. although how do I feel, you're always whole or you can't do the confrontations, you know, so you cling to the other person and the other person has to solve it, it's also tiring that you have the misfortune or obligation to make someone

happy, that's terrible, that's terrible, that's it. an unbearable weight, my God, if this doesn't have Dent on you, how am I going to put it These are things and there are people so immature that I've seen male and female patients come to me like this and I said, but why can't you accept that it's over, not because at the beginning he said he would love me forever Ok, but under what circumstances was it passion for no but forever is a long time we can't talk but that's what I'm saying but look at the childish expectation

that a guy like this will love me for the rest of his life because in passion you say that Oh so he lied, no because in passion He thought that yes and so did you what you can say is today I guarantee you that you have everything I want to live forever with you today but we keep changing everyone keeps changing and sometimes you don't don't like what it is the other person has transformed or what you have become is the dialogue is the lack of dialogue dialogue Franco Franco dialogue is available but Franco is

difficult people Are afraid of losing they don't want to take the initiative of a possible separation or this training gives reason to someone else says because you guarantee yourself exactly this thing of letting the other take the position, man, many men do that, right, on the contrary, when I say man, because it's complicated, right? Because some, right, we're talking about conflicts, right, but men have more difficulty putting an end to it. in the relationship, they can't stand my wife crying, their ex, they give reasons for the woman to talk, look, come back soon, then she

was happy that she was the one who dumped me. I've heard it, but man, there's no way I've seen women too, it's also about taking the man at a limit I said but why don't you open it, he won't because then he doesn't and he thinks it's [ __ ] right [ __ ] cowardice right Exactly exactly no because he has to be at fault he has to be at fault otherwise he won't It's going to be a good ex-husband, look, it's complicated, but people really put it that way. Relationships are difficult now, when you're

in a relationship with someone who has a mental disorder, for example, a person who's in a relationship with a person who has bipolar, he has to roll up his sleeves. mangoes, you have to have knowledge, self-knowledge and knowledge of the other person's disorder, exactly not everyone can deal with it for a long time Especially if the partner who has that disorder doesn't want to be treated, that's a condition, there's no way if the person When it comes to bipolar disorder, for example, it doesn't have a cure But it has control, damn it, it doesn't have

treatment, you can have a life with much more balance, now if the guy says let's say it's a woman, stop taking the medication, right? No, you don't even want to. going, it's cycles, right? What it's about, abandoning the treatment, then the symptoms intensify, things become more complicated, even more so if the person talks, for example, during the mania phase, he won't listen. Not really, right, but after it passes, he had that behavior . the savings money, as I've seen in bingo, she spent everything, she blew everything out in bingo and for sexuality, which also comes

with hypersexuality, she doesn't sleep, she doesn't let anyone sleep, the guy needed to work, anyway, if she, when she's in depression, in the depressive phase, she hears a a little better, right, but if she doesn't talk, okay, you're with me by my side, I'm going to treat myself because no one can handle this person's emotional seesaw because they also start to tip over faster and faster, kids, right? I mean, it's going to turn into a problem, exactly, but the From the moment you accept the treatment, you don't accept it and you do it. I've seen

a lot of people accept it, but it's like, but I was fine, that's why I was fine, but I was only fine because I was doing exactly that, right, but that applies to everything in depression, Independence, right in alcoholism? What happens a lot is because it's easy for you to be with a person who has a problem of alcoholism and drugs. Not only that, a person who doesn't want to work, a man who doesn't work, a woman who doesn't want to do anything, her life isn't moving, she has to have a Pariah, people exactly. someone

will be overwhelmed, yes, because it's a mechanism And then this whole relationship starts to get sick as a whole, exactly, right? And if you live with people who have a disorder, if you mess up, you get sick together, we'll definitely see who takes care of Alzheimer's dementia is exactly one of the things I think we need Regardless of whether it's a disorder, whether it's borderline, bipolar, depression, anxiety, I think it's the whole thing, right ? love is it's there together now I'm really doing my part that I don't have symptoms I'm trying to understand the

best way for us to go through it as a family and you're not getting the treatment you're not looking for so it's not leaving this relationship at the moment that the ship was sinking it's because you're exactly I'm leaving because you're really refusing Because there's also this side, you know, besides him having lived there and And these pathologies they may not arise and I may have met you and nothing has ever happened and of Suddenly this situation arises, I think being a partner is what I'm there, I went to the doctor, I looked for it

today, as Ana said, on social media, on social media, we can find out, know, read, right, and I'm there looking for it and you don't want to do it. your part, unfortunately you live your story and I'm going to live mine but sometimes I've had cases where the partner can't leave because they feel guilty and then they start to get along too but they're afraid of their children, how are they going to do? Staying with that dependent mother is very complicated, right? So that's also the fear, right? How am I going to leave my children?

How am I going to leave my children here? So you want to take the children away ? a lot of women don't know their rights and they threaten saying that they will take away their children. So she stays there suffering because she said if I leave the house I don't have a job how am I going to take my children they will go hungry they will stay on the street so the children would have to stay with her, she becomes ex It's incredible that there is still this thing about property violence, right ? that do

everything exactly men think that but you're my wife like that and you don't want to do that exactly and you think that in order for me not to lose my husband I have to have sex and it's not okay you're depressed you're in pain which is violence and she doesn't realize this she thinks her husband has rights over her body this is a very cool subject , right? super valued valued also I don't think that even that man who says oh I have sex five times a week I don't know who this man is and

even if he has sex at home if he has sex so much he doesn't have time to talk I think that the relationship is not just horizontally, right? I even think that you can maintain a relationship for a long time based solely on sex, that sex, I never know what this animal sex is. Wow, this woman is, but she's very good in bed or Man, I don't know what I I think that when you are in tune, when you like someone, sex happens, especially at the beginning of the relationship, during the passion phase, but then

it tends to calm down, it tends to calm down and you can't measure the success of a relationship by the amount of sex they have. It's crazy because men have this pattern a lot, men look for, like, my relationship isn't going well, when you see why it's because they're not having sex, so maybe that's why they change partners so much, women don't. women in general look for him because he doesn't talk anymore he doesn't pay attention or he wants a lot and I can't stand having sex anymore exactly what I don't I'm not normal What's

my problem I'm sick and then he goes looking outside and So, you know, so this is a big complaint, it's a cause for a lot of concern and I've also seen a lot of men complain about women who demand a performance that they can't handle either, they can't handle it, certainly there is also, have you seen ISOs like that, you, eh Sometimes I've seen several men who are depressed and they say no but that has nothing to do with it I said no but he has low libido that has nothing to do with it because

it has to work even to relax him that's it I read that this will improve, I said, certainly when he gets a little better, this will speed up , better put him in that place, right? What a D to download Come here, I'm going to release your stress, come here S as if you were going to therapy, bed object, table, going to take a convulsant, exactly you, not using this attention It's not me, no, no, you're not being nice You could give me this medicine right, well, it's not a matter of what I've heard everything,

even from my husband, I'm not going either right, sometimes they came with chins, my husband, he goes to use the bathroom, he washes his hands, he goes to brush his teeth, I don't know what he does, he must have some problem, he gets everything wet, everything gets soaked, Toninho, I'm tired of talking, I'm going there I wipe Uhm it's easier it's easier one is the best no he why does it cost him to wipe but I told him today I'm not going to say it costs not to wet So jula but why does he need

it if he needs it So he looks I think that he must have something that this here relieves anxiety do it dry, you don't need to wet your hands, understand, do it dry, you want to keep doing it like this [ __ ] you know because I'm the one who's going to clean it uhum, right, who's going to dry it, exactly who's going to dry it, but Toninho He's a dear Toninho, he's a sweetheart, but he took care of my mother for me, my, my, this is so important, this relationship, it's cool, right, because it

arrived, but he has, he's a bit damaged because look what he went through with my mother, he went through that Is he a victim or does he have this thing about knowing the cycles of life and having this generosity, no, he's very nice, oh, he never spoke like that to me, he was very jealous at the beginning, uh, right, to the point where we have passion, but in passion, jealousy he will be present the issue is that he cannot escalate upwards and after a while he is increasing oh no but there came a time almost

to separate because I said if you think I'm going to the bakery I'm going to cheat on you are you with the wrong woman uhum Why do you think I am so you shouldn't have a second of peace and me too you're taking mine away so let's resolve it for sure right now he I was doing consultations at night and it's not today I'm just having online but before it was in the office and I was in the office, right, we moved to my mother's house, you came, I left my apartment and went to live

in my mother's house because your mother was in need, but since my father already had dementia right So I was in the office and he was with my mother and my mother beat him, my mother cursed my mother, shouted, my mother was a lot of work, but she was also demented, and then she started having these moments of aggression ho she It's already exactly that everyone stole everything, right? And then, I had fits of laughter because my husband has nothing to do with me, he's super closed off, he's quiet, right ? serious thing You forgive

me Excuse me because it's something police police at your house police because my mother kept shaking the door I want to leave you're keeping me here I want to go to the garden but there's still power, right today I put a gate there up there because it's a place there, it's not nice, the place where my mother lives and they don't leave there, right? Anyway, there we are there, right? And then he let her leave because he couldn't stand her shouting anymore, her swearing, her swinging there. She shook her hands. bars and called people, boy

Help, I'm in prison, don't let me go back to my house and someone believed me and called the police when I was at the doctor's office But I had a laughing fit because he was talking, he was stuttering because the neighbor who saved me said no, Senor, police officer, she has a problem She has Alzheimer's, I don't know what my husband Fei CAN say if he justifies himself. It's almost nothing, it almost goes to waste, there are funny things, funny moments, right? I was already sick, I was alive, I also stayed at home, we welcome

you, we belong to that generation of welcoming, we have a different awareness of caring, exactly, we have two two two pillars in this conversation now that I'm going to bring here so we can talk, one is this phase that I think is beautiful, partner, partner, is wearing this shirt together with us because they understand the phase of life, right, that they become our children, and another is the phase when we get married and taking your father-in-law and mother-in-law home with you, which is also complicated, right? But I think that when you are newly married or

married for a short time, this has a different weight when you have been married for 30 years and then the parents start to give this work, yes, then you, it's already different because it's another moment in the relationship, what is it like for a new couple, right? We're getting to know each other , it's not safe. I think. now my mother is sick, she has to come back here, it's another thing, it's like I'm newly married, we're getting to know each other, I think even the younger person because it's a generational thing because I remember

that I was fiancée Before I got married, it was just before I met Me, in one of the break-ups I had in my first marriage, I started dating a guy much older than me, my friend, he was my father's friend, right, I stayed for a while, then I came back and I stayed there. seven more four years then I got married and so on and once we were talking about marriage he said I had the problem of my brother who had cerebral palsy he said but look at the day if we ever get married your

brother will have a go stay in a clinic I finished right away I understood how I would my brother would stay with me if my parents died whoever wants to take care of my brother agreed it was a Treaty of Tordesillas understood You will take care of your brother if so much as my mother said I ask God I want him to die before me before and in fact he died, it happened, right? That's for a father and a mother who has a son, because he knows that no one will treat him the same. Exactly,

that's such a huge relief. It's a pain but such a relief when they go first, these children who need, you know, special care, for sure because it's difficult for the brother who makes this commitment and I think the younger generations don't have that notion anymore because they don't have that burden anymore. everything is chewed up everyone does everything they don't get frustrated they don't even care about how they are going to take care of someone and I see it like this middle class upper middle class or higher class even worse because there's that thing like

14 years old you go abroad and then you start living there outside and outside there's no such thing as let's ask, well, grandma, let's go visit your grandfather, let's visit your mother. another year after a year of being married after a year of being married so there is a disconnection of these responsibilities of Ties, truth of family ties That's right It's a shame, isn't it a shame and you see that today there are proliferation of nursing homes, let's say clinics for tertiary care and that I 'm not against depending on what the person has Sometimes

the person works and the only thing they can't deal with but we see a lot of other cases, right ? So, even if the person travels, there is that thing about going there, you know, having that moment of being with that person and it is a reality that will increase more and more because the number of elderly people increases more and more exactly the number of dementia processes is the older the age, the greater the pro ility that occurs So this is something that I think is a huge challenge for families Wow, it's true, it's

because I think that insecurity also comes along, so one thing is that I like brother, right, I'm there, I know that, but when what comes from outside comes in, will I continue with this same thing? That was a treaty between me and my family and then what comes from outside, it depends and when we see these relationships that when what comes from the outside changes the entire structure my brother was wonderful when he came ooo partner the woman changes everything Wow he changes the personality of the couple's bond What do you mean if it's good

for example if a chance comes a family member will live with me who is my husband's family and disrespects me and if I have a good relationship I'll say look, it's a nightmare but how can we improve the If my partner loves me, he won't allow it, he'll set a limit, such stress, so let's see how we resolve this, how it gets better now. I've also seen the person who plays there and the woman who has it several times. that caring exactly isn't a responsibility either, it's not her responsibility, the guy has to deserve it

Look, we have a partnership, I'll help you with your family, but you, you help me with mine, you buy into this fight, let's go together, he'll go for it. football and leaves his mother there and you change your phrase, it's like not even a husband who has my husband has another son, brings him And you who have to start dating then the girlfriend who takes care of how much I've seen this, this is too much so I It's everything, it's the health of the bond, it's the health of the bond, perfect, perfect, that's why we

have very little bond health, because if you do, you can resolve any situation that comes your way because they're challenges. we have to go through this, there's no way, right? Oh, one thing you can't say, no, please, I wanted to bring up the subject of the fear of being outside, I wanted him to tell me this, I wanted us to discuss this a little bit And it increased a lot with the social media , right ? Ah, of course, and not only because you don't want to miss anything, but also because of the sheer amount

of content, I already felt very anxious. I'm going to research a topic. There are so many developments. I'm not going to be able to know all of this here and if you know about 10 things, there are already 1000 more in the queue that have been discovered, so this will generate an anxiety due to the excess, right? It's a feeling of not being able to handle it so I won't I can't know everything I need to be comparing my likes Am I pleasing and what did they comment but what is this what is this generating

anxiety? huge and depression and all disorders uhum ISO triggers of all other disorders And this has also increased in the corporate world where you put yourself in that place oooo my my friend there at work he has three four five meetings a day and opens I don't know how many portals of new things and then I start to generate an insecurity in me that I have to follow it because if I don't follow it I'm going to lose it and then I think we're losing our identity, looking at us and Go and do it within

your time, we're weakening ourselves, right? Or the same thing Oh, I'm going to talk about a subject, I'm not obligated to, because I'm going to master that subject all the time, I know what I saw, I saw what I understand, and that's it. It's also good, yes, right now, things that help us because this is increasing a lot and increases anxiety, right, but I think that the information itself, the way it is constituted today, gives this speed, you get a social network and you As you swipe your finger, you get the feeling that you've accessed

several channels and you, wow, I didn't know that, we just have to know that we don't need to know everything, but that's it, I always say there's something called common sense, you tell me say something Anaí I'm going to say no no I didn't hear But what is it when you tell me something my brain already has a conditioning like this doesn't make sense or does it make sense I always use common sense so I don't fall into fad because someone tells me this thing about missing belonging to something, this is a lot on social

media, right? Because there are people who travel, they forget to enjoy the trip, right ? you're posting that you're there, people, you don't need it, you don't need it, you're showing off that you're happy and sometimes you're not even showing off because I see people traveling in an eagerness I've seen couples arguing Because like, take my photo, take mine, man Okay, I can't take any more of your photo, you have to travel with someone to take it, I'm going to bring a photographer because I'm fed up with the photos you take and vice versa, everything

has to be documented, everything isn't us and we don't need it because things have to be lived and man, I have difficulty with Ana, who is the owner of the My agency always says n You need to show up a little more in no in Stories do something I forget ahem if PR I don't have that habit either I don't have that habit either hito, right, take it like this we're here before we start but V do it let's go cool but that doesn't guide my life my life is IMPA Bitch like that because it's

always attached to my essence of what I'm living I'm living this here I'm okay, there's no problem we're done today here we go Let's play like this, let's look and then say what's what's what's what's the trophy what's the closure of everything here I'm going to suggest you go to her office or her house three times a week and do it right away she does the complicated thing now This fear of being left out, I think it's a lot like that, that's an example of that, today the new virtual doll started from Intelligence that I'm

going to become Rambo and everyone puts a face on it and everyone goes to the Rambo app that day Then it sells a fortune, that app no ​​one uses in their lives anymore, but it's mass distribution. The luck is for those who can still maintain common sense and be critical of what happened because people are losing a bit of their critical sense and critical sense requires education. which is the sense of what is right and wrong because I see people as the opposite, that's it, you know that it 's wrong but you do everything to

make it right, exactly wanting to convince you, no, the guy did that because the woman did that, it doesn't justify me unjustifiable, right, or something like that, oh, the woman killed her husband, dismembered her because he humiliated her or she took her suitcase and left, but that doesn't give the right to dismember her, I'm not saying he was a great husband, ever But that doesn't give the right to, but People stop living in society, they're going to live a hell of a time because you step on my foot, I can shoot you in the face,

I can shoot you in the face, citizenship doesn't exist, it's non-negotiable, it has rules like the universe has rules, the universe doesn't have gravity, it's There's no point in a rule if I throw myself off the building thinking I won't fall I'm going to fall I'm going to fall You 're there there are social rules and we create a society How do you live in a society without rules No respect Oh but I want to be free ok you are free without taking the freedom of others and to be free I have to have rules

too and I don't Freedom is not Doing what you want all the time that is not that is irresponsible having to do that and citizenship is about responsibility maturing It's about responsibility, you know, assuming our responsibilities and it can be cool, I think it's really nice, I think because you say it like that, you do it, but you feel in control of your life, exactly, and it gives us a little pride in us, right, that thing that at 20 years ago I was going to swear the car for that person to go too fast in

front of me I don't want to see the distance and I still say Go with God he's giving me he's giving me an obse little sign I say go go with God God light your path far away from me, understand But you know that I give myself daily several doses of pride in myself Me too, you too, that thing about self-esteem for yourself, barade every barbarity I see, I say, my God, thank you, thank you too for not contaminating myself, I continue to think This is very, very bad, right, because I don't have any desire

to hurt anyone, because I want to help, right? Without being corny, Mother Teresa, you're speaking perfectly, if you feel like doing that, go and do it, but as I think, TR, she's talking like something like that, it doesn't lose its essence because it doesn't contaminate itself with bad things, written that I have to do that every day, I'm not going to contaminate myself with that, what you're saying is wonderful, no, and you can only have this reflection if you see the chaos of the world and you say man I didn't join this wave I continue

to be this is the case of family it was an example people said to me how did you cope exactly I was grateful because I looked at that and said My God my life is Divine I I don't have any problems and I had problems but sometimes we talk, we talk like this and we talk like this, man, how happy we are, right? So how come I complained about this, I already said, it's nothing, people have so many problems, so many problems and we stop and say, wow, it 's a good thing that this isn't

a problem or that isn't a problem and we're still afraid of being willing to help that, right? the night before going to bed, do this accounting like, wow, that was so cool, for example, today when I go to sleep I'll say wow, what a cool podcast, right, what a cool episode there, take it because no one was there and angry at the world of humanity, they want to talk about love that people can connect, okay, we have an optimistic thing, despite all this, the way of facing life, life, exactly, we are happy, we choose to

be ethical, we choose to use generosity, they are choices, but despite being choices, they are within We don't need to force ourselves, we just have to thank you, no, you try hard to be like you are, to be ethical, strong enough, if I have to not be like I am, then it's an impossible force, you can't do it, I think, I think so funny, taking this context that we're talking about, let's travel and then I have to have an itinerary and I have to follow that entire itinerary because Joãozinho went there, he visited the crest,

he visited Pão de Açúcar, he did everything but he didn't experienced none of that and sometimes Ana and I, like, when we have that time to rest or between one lecture and another between one recording and another, sometimes we stay cool in a room talking in our pajamas, laughing, remembering things people don't understand Ah, but you rested, you went to São Paulo and didn't see us, we went and enjoyed it a lot and we're going to take this memory of São Paulo, it's because people want to count moment felicity, I'm happy inside a hotel room,

look, I'm happy within the Wow, I'm happy anywhere Yeah, and I think we have to train people to train so we don't get in or get done Man, there's no way, see guys, I remember that when I went, I had the opportunity, I went to a conference, I went to Amsterdam, it was the The only place I had seen didn't exist . Guys, giving him a biscuit is, oh, amazing, no, I always travel by car, I take biscuits for the dog, so of course abandoned dogs like that will come because I've already left the house

with the intention of feeding the dog, it attracts and for me, when it happens, it's a happiness I put in the water I buy cambuca like this at a gas station I put in the water I put in the food Boto people are Mimo we enjoy that and it's something that people don't miss and there was a time when we were traveling there we were In the mountains of Petrópolis we stopped at the German's house to eat something that we weren't going to stop after, but we were going to Tira Dentes and then the puppy,

I said, ready, stay there, I went to buy food that was available. I went to buy the little thing to get into the city of Petrópolis because when I got back, I got it, I was very happy, so I put it in, I told the guy at the store, I'm going to leave the food here, you can't leave it, Doctor, okay, okay, I'm there, I'm getting in the car when I I'm getting into the car, a girl like that, look, I was just watching you , if you were recording a video to appear, then I

said, did you see me doing it? I said dude it's me because it's me because I thought it was strange she was there I was filming I was here filming you I said hey I thought she wasn't but it was to see if I was doing it meha chandar is if it was hypocrisy right it was let's just start to have this look of I'm doing it because I want to or I'm doing it because I need to do that because I have to show show so we're very happy we travel But we don't try

to do what everyone else does We'll do the opposite, we'll even arrive and ask the app driver something What's different here that no one does? What restaurant do you like to eat at? What's the typical food What's the cupcake cool, I love a cool cupcake like that, a cool little bar with a different cupcake, something different, that's bringing the essence of that place and not traveling because I have to because sometimes you arrive more tired, you come back from vacation more stressed than you were true, when I go on vacation I go to rest so

don't wake me up at 6 am because the coffee because I don't know who 's going to leave get out get out Ah but it's already in the package no problem I'm going out of town For me waking up early is a nightmare for me I'm not even infer anymore, I don't need to wake up at 2 o'clock in the afternoon, but to wake up at 7 o'clock in the morning to eat, I need to go for coffee, and once I went on a cruise, I was against everything, I was always there, because there's that

class schedule, I don't know what class de folding guard Nat class on making animals in the melon I said this here is crazy I came here girl I didn't have to PIS sun it was very funny the person says are you going in line I'm going nowhere I'm going now see how it's just that the weather is outside and I was always the person said you're a bit disoriented I said no I'm totally oriented look I'm totally oriented by my desire I orient myself it's not you or what the group is doing right there when

I heard a little song like this I said oh I'm going to go to that corner ok ok ok no there wasn't that if I had to stay in the cabin looking at the sea there it's fine and I'm fine too, any nonsense satisfies me Look, let's just get to the questions, isn't that it? Dear ones, Look, explain again what it's going to be like before we Open PR the questions, before opening PR the questions, we're going to do a draw for five books, minds that love the borderline way of being too much, so what's

going to happen to Michele, the voice of Relaxing Michele Michele is a being of light compliments my voice is relaxing I was so happy exactly We are even thinking about recording a relaxing audio with people Guada meditation guided meditation have this difficulty sleeping pick up a headset with an app with Michele's voice Michele Michele will say the name of the person, the question we will answer, Anaí will answer that most of them It's definitely for her, definitely for her, and then we're going to put it here, we're going to give it one, we like it,

it's interesting, the five most interesting questions that we like, right? a whole exactly what she will do is how many are eight in this case to choose Let's make a top five here to draw top five best let's do more or less of Ah there are two there are Du these I think you have to enter before starting this which will open these two questions we were in a store yesterday and I would like to know a relationship question that I t Oh okay and we were in a store yesterday where Alex went to buy

something little that I don't remember and then the girl recognized us and we He said that today there was going to be a podcast with Anaí ready, the woman said wow, I love it, I can record a question, and then a guy came who made the same request, so we're showing the video that we lovingly recorded on Ana Paula's cell phone and Emerson So let's go And then we'll open it up to those of you who are doing it now that you're already there with Mich, let's go, hi, my name is Ana Paula, I would

like to know a question, a relationship I'm in will last 7 years and I I would like to know why And how do I have to deal with a man when we notice that he is a person who, ignorantly speaking, did not have an education, had a difficult upbringing and how do we deal with this type of behavior that his partner has but with All of this is a person with a very good heart, what do I do, um, was it for you, did she fail to say what this behavior is that bothers you, don't

you think? From what I understand, it seems like she talked to me a little bit, she seems to have that, that's a person ogre is the ogre Zinho understands but he is a man with a good heart but at times this is interfering But we can't understand what it is that bothers ISS She didn't say, I don't know if she wants him to study or improve himself because he didn't study, no, no, no, that thing or if he's rude to her in his treatment of her, which I believe should be that, you know, that thing.

of the flower of Good morning Oh my beauty, you look beautiful, so in cases like this we usually talk, talk, right, act in a way to show the person because sometimes in practice we talk exemplifies very well, right? But you've been there for 7 years in this relationship, right, so if he's hurting you, if he's hurting you, if he's difficult for you, then it's a type of decision or action that you have to do now if he, despite being rude, he's nice, he's nice to you, then just adapt and let's go, we have to make

the agreement, right? What I think is necessary, essential, essential for him to change, he talks to me like that, not to me because I don't exactly like that sometimes the person, he can be an ogre, has a greater difficulty But also No one has ever come and said, look, it's not like that, this expression that you're using in that tone of voice is bothering me until today, it's been like that, but from now on, hey, this is hurting me, it's not being nice, so let's change it and if it continues there, it's You 're the

one who has to change because if you don't point out what's bothering you, it gets complicated, right? a person is a narcissist without applying a test to the patient, everything is wonderful Then things change, the guy turns or the woman turns inside out, you are to blame for everything that goes wrong in the relationship, you, you are massacred, you suffer humiliation, I mean, there are so many things and constant, right, so you need to pay attention to how you feel , right, or paying attention to that person's attitudes, it started to displease you, you speak,

you position yourself and nothing changes and you're still busy. So, regardless of whether we label what kind of person or relationship it is, okay. You've seen that it's not working for you, so then you have to take action and there's something about intuition, right ? truth next mi now we're going to open up to the questions that Mi will be reading and Ana Paula and Ana Paula let's go the first one here thank you for the super chat here from Dan uhum Good evening guys, would there be any correct way to use these dating apps

um no The correct way is there is a way that you have common sense if you talk to 20 people at the same time you will be confused, that's not true, you will be confused, right, you liked someone, I think that's the main point, you liked someone, dedicate yourself, get to know the person, no Keep putting them on the shelf Oh well, there are four of them that I think are cool, so I don't have anything, those who want everything don't have anything, they have to dedicate themselves, they have to get to know each other,

they have to have a certain coexistence, you know, build, try to build, otherwise it won't last at all. you won't gain anything on the social network, there's no way you can't, you have to remember that you're on the network You don't know that person who's still talking to you there, so you need to get past that digital stage, let's meet on real But since the ideal is for us to meet in this real in a public place, not go straight to the person's house or for the person to come straight to your house because you

are still in the process of getting to know each other, so I think this is a point that has to be Preserving a little is not telling the whole story of life on the first day, right? Let's little by little degrade it and bring it out of the Virtual and into the real, right? Because that way we can get to know each other there, right? and the scams like Ah, I have a boyfriend from Portugal, Mozambique, but then he's not coming in a little while, he needs to borrow money, people, it's common sense, right? We

lend money to real people, we already have to have criteria, imagine for the person who we've never seen it Well, that's right, so to stay tuned, this was Daniel, it was Daniel, next Juliana also thanked the super Juliana's chat uhum this advice applies to LGBT relationships all the advice you gave there love, you know delivery has nothing to do with sexual orientation with gender with none of that is being human Exactly exactly being human rel julana there is no such difference Exactly this challenge is to be human is to be human, right next next another

chat here from Daniel's super chat Daniel is operative here today Dani winning book winning Daniel's Liv is Daniel it's going to be difficult Calm down Come on, thank you Daniel in the case of fomo I studied a lot but Nowadays I can't study as much because of the fear of not being able to absorb everything or replace what I already know. How can I change that ? Take it easy, right? You have to study a little bit a day, then you Repeat what you read, what you studied is a burden, we're not computers, right? That's

the problem when we want to match an intelligence that for us and there's no reason to right, we have to know what we have to do, so you have to stop with all this stress and not increase it, you know, keep pushing yourself, thinking that you have a problem and another thing, I think, if you're going to study, I have to disconnecting from everything starts with an hour, maybe it will be difficult but at some point resist or put your cell phone or computer away, start there H start the material because some people talk like

that oh but I don't have printed material, print it, turn everything off, come back Tena, I need it cross out I need to write because today people from social networks and from Silicon Valley have already discovered that what counts is what we write, we have to do that and another thing Daniel, you say that you already had a habit, keep it start to realize that if you are leaving a whole behavioral way that you had, it is a sign that you are changing due to the herd effect, if you have always worked out your way

of studying, follow this, you don't need to because João is his criteria I have a way of studying, Naí has ​​another, Ana has another, so ah, because Naí came first in the test, ok But suddenly it wasn't through her method, your method may be better than hers, but create the method, but she you need to create your method, that's important PR and practice it and one thing that Ana said that I think is very important for this effect is that you spend time I'm spending a lot of time on social media and I'm comparing everything

That's where it comes out, it isolates itself a little as we can't manage to record everything, we start to think that we can't realize that we don't have the capacity, it's that we need to focus on things to learn, right, exactly perfect, next asks Talita Agar I would like to ask what is the best way to prevent abusive relationships, it's not the flu, right people, so there's no point in taking vitamin C What you have to have, what you need Talita is to learn to observe the signs that we want say how this person treats

you, right? What doesn't he allow you to do? That he thinks he has the power to tell you not to do certain things? How do you feel about this person, hey, he introduces you, he takes over you She treats you well, right? It's a sum of attitudes that will show that this person has a great interest in you, right? So I think that's what it means to shield yourself. How do you shield yourself by loving OB by observing and liking yourself because if you like yourself? you won't be able to admit that they treat you

badly, right that they treat you with disrespect, with little respect, with indifference, with aggression, so the first love is always your own, if you like yourself and if you are careful, you can discover a relationship that is not cool and also gives importance to the unconscious perception of your body if, when you heard a story, it didn't fit well, that's really strange, the body is the radar, the heart speaks, let's observe the environment we are in, observe what its relationship with you is like or her with you him with others in a restaurant in traffic

how he treats people all of these could be signs exactly let's go next question Ana Carolina I have noticed that ageism is increasingly in our society, how this type of discrimination has affected people, especially the elderly, and what are the possible consequences of this behavior on society as a whole Wow, very cool, we said Ana Carolina So this prejudice against age because we realize, right, that aging is very poorly seen, he is disqualified, the person who, who gets older or matures, is already seen as a person who is no longer interesting, who has nothing to

add when in fact it is really the opposite, it causes a lot, it brings a lot of problems, first of all, I already have They called me old to offend me as if that were me too as if it were something a compliment I'm creating life experiences, yes, but you see that from behind, it's really sad because here this person too is going to get old I hope it's okay, right? Then you start to put your foot down, you start to do things that aren't cool for you, in the name of staying well, staying young,

you isolate yourself. You even have problems with employment, right? A person, a person in Brazil over the age of 50 year olds have a lot of difficulty getting back into the market, right? So the best ones are for younger people and it's not just the older person who suffers from ageism, the younger person too . It's immature because I mean, it's a very bad form of prejudice, pernicious, ugly, I think it's ugly, you know, because the greatest gift we have is being able to live, right, so we have to be very careful with that, putting

so much into this partnership of different generations, for example you You know Michele and Gabriel who are our partners and it's a huge generation difference we produce profoundly in the Partnership they teach us a lot and we also teach something I always say I have to give you an experience but it's certainly not I will defend I will defend when we met you I I stayed and Ana went to meet you I thought it was very beautiful that she came back and said, my son is a my son is not a form of affection that

she calls everyone world, right? He's my son, and we have a lot to learn in this digital world and they're both so young that they're old enough to be our almost our grandchildren, right, and greater respect, so we learn a lot from you, yes, our relationships are very cool people are very healthy and we live together very well so you can see that it doesn't happen when we open up this possibility that both generations will do their best and learn . between the generations, right, but also when it's not that young person who is also

stupid who says that it's just nonsense because I also can't even understand what it means. You understand, now they are responsible young people, it's another thing when you're young, that's the humility of knowing how to listen you don't know how to understand ISO bit, you really know exactly, you see, respect is in everything, the essence is essence is Essence, next let's go, next question, your course, the journey of transformation, talks about rescuing self-love ah L Wow, that's cool Beautiful Uhum So, yes, talk about everything, right, because it's a way for you to begin your self-knowledge,

right? What gives you triggers, right ? abusive relationship Why do you stay for so many years why can't you leave all of this there is a step by step guide on how these relationships are built, your inner child is built, what bleeds into it so you can stay or feel attracted to this kind of thing, how is your self-esteem, so the journey ? Any place will do, right? So we have to get to know each other, so that's the journey, see, look, I know myself well, but I would really like to. I'm going to take

this course. We can. We can. It's for all ages. um um ã how do some courses we have the community being Human will not be very welcome Ah I want to join do you have a fan Hum and Alex too she calls Mariana kiss Mariana you know Mariana Mariana she is I think she is from Paraíba she is very cute Mariana do fu she is from the fan club she takes care she takes care so cute we had in João Pessoa the We met Mar Ah so she's cute I'm going I'm going to have lunch

with her on the 14th of March because she's going to be here she said what a shame she wasn't here today that's for sure and she's a sweetheart she is ee It's so interesting, right? It's such a young audience, it's so young, and it likes it. There are cool young people too, right? And they admire it, right? The Experience, that thing, so the course is for everyone, so the journey, the journey of transformation, transformation, right? incredible Oh, what a great thank you How to deal with self-sabotage, like not taking care of yourself properly because you

think you're guilty, it's a journey of transformation, transformation, where does it come from, right? That's right, self-sabotage is such a complicated thing and so many people do it, right, so what is it? your sense of deserving and everything is involving self-knowledge Why do you blame yourself why do you sabotage yourself Why are you afraid of being happy there are many women who I serve women who had such a suffering mother and have listened to them their whole lives I give up everything to raise you, I don't know what this person is like, this woman, she

can't be happy, she feels guilty, right, if she provides good things, she goes on a trip or has to change a car because her family didn't follow, so she doesn't feel entitled to have So you have to understand What are your triggers what happened to you that made you think you need to sabotage yourself so we always talk about, you know, therapy is a really cool thing for you to get to know yourself so you can walk in a different way like you have mothers who blame themselves for enjoying things that are the fruit of

their labor and are not giving it to their children and these children start to demand it exactly as if she had to give it to them because she is having it and they think they start to think that It's an obligation to just receive and it doesn't give back, that's self-sabotage, so you see each family is created in a different way. It has different values. So you need to understand what happened for you to have arrived, that's exactly thinking you don't deserve another Michele Alves will find me Ah Michele Alves Good evening, being a bipolar

type one person like Home like a bipolar type one like home with family expectations regarding productivity and you psychiatrist Okay, let's go, I wanted to make one thing clear, people Bipolar is difficult, isn't it? being not having an intelligence the CMA of the Average, bipolar people are very intelligent, the big problem with Bipolar is that it does not have stability for this intelligence to emerge and bear fruit in a sustainable way because they are people who have a brilliant performance and suddenly buff so they are big and they have big ideas they have big projects

and they have instability if it's type one I would say the following first get treated, treat it because type one you always have to treat yourself because it has a more genetic character so it has a bigger mark You have to take care of yourself, sleep well, don't use alcohol, you have to be affectionate with yourself, like the best mother in the world would have, you have to be a mother and father to yourself because if you do this, treat yourself, you are unbeatable, I always said a very brilliant person, be suspicious that she is

bipolar, even if you've never seen her in that position, incredible, right, incredible, incredible, be suspicious when you talk like that, people here, this person is very suspicious of the possibility and the story. Tell this, there's a book by Herly, which is a Very good psychiatrist, he talks about mental disorders and the genius of bipolarity, and then they even asked me to put this book of his as a recommendation in the community, which is very well done. I have it at home, perfect, and I can talk about two types, no. It's necessary, right? It's because I'm

just waking up, type one is more marked, the two will have to be treated more, type one, he needs to be lighter, type two, right, they both already want it, but type one, you have to be there, you have to knowing that you will have to be your father, your mother, your self-care, always to exercise this Immense capacity, right ex next mi Micaele meni How long to have a relationship with someone after a toxic relationship without reflexes and bad habits being repeated in the current relationship Ah, so the person really needs to know how to

close PR Balan lick a wound close to balance think reflect on what went right what went wrong what still bleeds Why did you enter Why did you have so much difficulty leaving What are your fears, right? So seek help, seek help for this reconstruction because after an abusive relationship you leave deconstructed, you don't You don't even know what you like to eat right, right? Because you live according to others who annihilate you, right? So, give yourself time. Yes, that doesn't mean you don't go out with your friends. Have fun or collect yourself. The important thing

is that you don't think. It's time for you to get into the relationship, you won't be able to, right? You don't even know how to understand exactly what happened, imagine in general, I'm asking for an average of 2 years, that's because you have to seek your self-knowledge and you have to resist the temptation of not entering the cycle and rebuilding yourself if you are vulnerable As you are already going, it is because if you are vulnerable there at that moment you are in a period of reconstruction If you enter It is as if you were

leaving an ICU after pneumonia and Go to the beach, you 're still vulnerable, so let's recover, let's feed on ourselves, get rid of the triggers that may have led to And then do things for yourself, your life will do something different Change your hair if you like it, love it, do it, enore it, do activity physics good things for you and especially we really like love We are beings that love we are social beings we need we like romance but no you won't be happy only if you have someone by your side you have to

first be happy alone then you already know It's time for you to be ready, perfect, we're going to finish, let's do two more here, maybe we'll finish So let's go Elisa engrácio Elisa Elis eliz this is how to deal with the rebound effect of cognitive dissonance after an abusive relationship after an abusive relationship do everything who then spoke to this person who asked how long she would be alone because the distortion of things is because the relationship was abusive she started to believe things that someone else said and she completely lost the reference Okay, that

exactly gets the answer From the previous one, there's not much of a secret, right people, you have a lot of work, exactly we know there's no cake recipe, you'll know when you've prepared it, you'll have to PR in front of the mirror of the soul, you and where are you going, let's go next, last for us to finish next succulents in the window succulents in the window is the name of that person that is it must be those succulent plants succulents and if you can please help me understand what makes women considered empowered submit themselves

to abusive and violent relationships in this case she doesn't have financial dependence, empowered, right, that's why you said, let's go, then, in fact, a woman, any woman, can enter, any man, anyone, can enter into an abusive relationship first, because sometimes they cheat, yes, right, despite giving a little sign, but the woman has a lot of women who, for be very strong that we think we will never get into an abusive relationship she wants a man as strong as she wants to be kind of bent Look there are so many cases and so many possibilities, right

or she may have a need despite being independent but she wants the story fairy she wants marriage her husband love her little house right she has an example or she has a very good example of love of relationship So she wants to repeat or she doesn't have a very nice image and she wants to create She wants to have her story, right? So there could be many reasons, actually, right? But the important thing is not because we entered, it's that we have to leave, right? We have to leave and know the exit door, why am

I so empowered abroad and here I'm not able to be, that's something that we also have to get rid of thinking that it's going to double, you know, there are also women who go to In the EGO, she says what it could be, she said she's strong, she's not financially dependent, she's not financially dependent, she has everything, but that's not empowered, that's having financial conditions, there are people who are millionaires and who are emotionally fragile, aren't they? the person who doesn't subject himself to many things, right, I feel empowered , why? Because I'm not going

to subject myself to being mistreated or humiliated, I don't need that? And if it were like this, great Hollywood actresses, wonderful, very rich women don't get into abusive relationships and we see it all the time, the majority are women who are sure of themselves Yes, she is exactly, okay, just one more here because it's straight to Naí here and the people Having doubts about how to acquire the journey of transformation Ah, that's mine, it's an pamic, the link is on my Instagram on B on my Instagram on B, you know, just go to my drana

da mico, which is Dr de dout Ana I drana da mico with HE there in the link there is the link there in Bill you can look for the journey that is there on your Instagram on Instagram ok so it's time for us let's go I selected it I already selected it too I'm just one that the guys are C five oh the best five you found let's go Anaí say your five look I'll go first the first one say what you liked the most first from Talita I liked how to prevent you, Talita, Talita,

too, okay, Talita won, Talita won the three Talita, so Talita has to send it to her email What's up here guys, whoever wins the draw here sends an email to us on the official P pod again, sorry the audio had cut off, whoever wins the draw here sends the email to People in the pod peopleficial@gmail.com I'll leave it here pinned in the messages and with all the information so we can send the book exactly to the address So alita already won because she beat all three What's next Ana Carolina I liked it very much exactly

too Ana Carolina Ana Carina was also Eh, I also liked the one from Wesley who spoke about the aut We're also here, we're in tune, oh 6 7 9, I still don't know, Uh, Daniel from Fomo, I voted too, I also voted, Daniel, I haven't voted yet, I haven't, I voted. at Micaele, what's up after the relationship, wait, guys, so we already have four books, that's it, we already have four, we're missing one, wesle ah, Mica and this one and Elise, also about abusive relationships, I liked it, I also liked it, I put Eliz and

I put succulents, you are No, I started fomo and Micaele Micaele already went oh he's already in mich Michele Michele who went is Micaele me too so then we hit eliz two went or Micaele the three of me me in both of them I went now I don't know she talked about relationships toxics was very good how long do you have to be alone M Okay, so let's go, it's going to be Micaele and Micaele mvi and Michele Alves, that's it, it closed for six so we ended up doing six Ah, it's perfect, okay guys,

so it was cool, dear, my love, thank you so much for this table Here's more, this table is long, thank you, I loved being with you, let's have a rematch. Who knows, maybe we'll do an event, a summit of transformations of people's experiences, who knows, Barbarian, dear ones, we're finishing another kite pod, today it was with this wonderful girl. here an naída mico, if you don't follow, go ahead and before I close I would like to say a big thank you to the Flow studios, which was our home here this week in São Paulo, the

pipinho went out on the road, who knows, maybe we'll go to another state that We can be received with the same kindness Thank you very much Flow studio team Henry had Lucas had Henry here for us borga do café that wonderful café had wonderful people here really wonderful it was from the heart a show of affection that pipinho didn't expect because we are very little, we don't have a year to live, so we are really very happy and there is a person that our production team remembered and who lives in our hearts, in particular, we

want to dedicate this episode to Jájá Ah Já Some people, my hairdresser has been my hairdresser for years Look, take care of my hair, take care of my hair, end up here, on our side, take care of my hair, take care of mine makeup Our friend is not a friend and comes on the road with us, so let's close today, don't forget us here in the peak community, you can prosta in knowledge, in self-knowledge so that we can build a different human being, if you're still here, thank you very much if Did you think that

everything we said today makes sense to you, pass this on to someone, sign up for the community, invite people to participate. Thank you very much, see you next time, ah