"I Am Perfection in Progress" by Emily Snyder | BYU Women's Conference, 2024

[Music] this message was given at the 2024 BYU Women's [Music] Conference I feel so honored to get to be here tonight in this ginormous Relief Society and young women combined activity I think we might be breaking the the Guinness Book of World Records with this type of activity tonight before good job good job R that's almost like the concert feel um before I jump into my thoughts and heart I just want to testify of the power that we felt with the Relief Society presidency I am so grateful for each of their lives that they each

CH have they've each each chosen to follow Christ and to embrace the plan of our heavenly father and I'm so delighted that they are the ones that are called for a time to teach us individually and I selfishly am so grateful for what I get to learn because I get to be with them I hope that I don't break the spirit that we felt from them because I need to ask a favor right off the bat when I usually teach or get to be with a group group of people I just have a clipboard and

a paper with a bunch of bullet points of thoughts I never write things downward for word but tonight I got to practice writing down all the words and I get to use these fancy teleprompters that are feeding me every word and I am so nervous so can I ask that we all have a silent prayer in our hearts that I in my insecurity don't create a barrier to the spirit teaching each of us something tender and unique yet again after the relief society prescy as I have thought about tonight I've been curious to know why

each of us showed up how we each got here tonight I've imagine that maybe you were here to hang out with some of your favorite gals maybe you came together and maybe you matched up here maybe you came and are looking to find like-minded people maybe like me you're here because you have again friends who tend to push you out of your comfort zone and help you experience new things Jen thanks and maybe you're here because I asked and begged you to be part of my support Crew That's my dad regardless of how and why

we've each ended up here I hope and invite each one of us to again open our hearts to be taught by the Holy Ghost I hope that you only half listen to things that come out of my mouth but that you are fully aware of what and how the spirit is teaching you personally to remind you the spirit can bring new thoughts to our minds he can emphasize or help us know that we have heard truth through extra emotions that we feel like tender tears or a bit of a zap to the heart or maybe

feeling being embraced could you imagine as the presidency invited us what were to happen if we all felt that spirit and were open to it tonight and then if we acted upon some of the things that we received we just might change the world so once upon a time I was a sixth grade teacher which means in my life that I think I get to invite people to put on their thinking caps whenever I want them to so I'm inviting you right now to do that I'm going to ask you a couple different questions and

I truly want you to think about them as if I'm going to come up to you personally and ask cuz I just might what do you think about when you hear the word Perfection are there areas of life that you instantly think about or stressing about that you would want to be perfect are there things like your studies or your children or your skills in sports or music or art that you strive deeply that you want to be perfect what are other thoughts and areas that you might be concerned about and what I'm calling your

personal Perfection worries I want you to think about it as I share a couple different thoughts that I have um there are things that I have wrestled with with the word perfect there are a few definitions that I found none of which that I like very much here are some of them having all the required or desirable ele elements qualities or characteristics as good as it is possible to be and free from any flaw or defect in condition or quality faultless I know that there are situations we need these definitions but I don't like them

for me in my personal struggle struggles as I've thought about perfection and my personal worries about perfection I think about my body I don't compare myself to others as much as I compare myself to a time when I felt like I was as good as it is possible to be for me in my body I was living in Boston Massachusetts and I was my most favorite version of myself I loved what my life was like I loved the dreams I was having I loved how I was able to care for my body emotionally and spiritually

I loved the experiences I was Crea in around me as I look back it was as close to my perfection as I think I have been and then there's today have I picked apart this version of me yeah many many times have I talked poorly to myself and belittled myself about the pounds I've gained between then and now yep more times than I want to admit the irony is when I asked some of these women if I could show show these pictures on the giant screens tonight they each made a comment about how they didn't

like their version of the of themselves seeing these snapshots together of me have reminded me of a concept of former and favorite boss have taught life is a movie it's not a snapshot he would talk about how often we take one moment in time one picture one snapshot and make a judgment and conclusions and even predictions about everything from that one moment when in reality there is a movie of moments before that picture during that picture and a million of moments yet to come in the movie of Our Lives when I pause and I think

about my movie versus this moment I can tell you that between the time of the Boston picturers and today I've accomplished lished more in my life than I ever thought possible I survived and graduated from a top business school in New York City on a fifth floor walkup that means there's no elevators I wiggled my way into a dream job I moved to two different cities New York and Waco Texas and they are about as different as two cities could be I created communities though in those cities and created my own versions of family in

those cities I chose to be stretched emotionally mentally spiritually and financially and oh goodness I was and have been I've also felt so strong and confident Lost and insecure over and over and over between those series of pictures and I will tell you today that with the extra pounds I do not feel like I'm as good as it is possible for me to be let alone any of those other definitions of perfection in fact in this mindset I basically want to grab the famous mint brownies of BYU Women's Conference and go watch a Korean drama

and go disaar and yet I don't think that's allowed so I'm going to talk about wedding magazines because that feels like the right answer I have been engaged and almost engaged a few times and yes there are plenty of stories that we can talk about another day but because of those engagements I have bought a few rounds of wedding magazines and let's just say it became a sister tradition on our family vacations to plan out all of our Dream weddings I had ideas for announcements dress the colors the food the guests The Gatherings when I

think about the so so many hours I've spent dreaming about that moment of a wedding I am stunned and honestly somewhat embarrassed I'm stunned with how many hours I have dreamt of and hoped for that deep safe relationship and partnership I dream about having with the Future Husband if you've noticed pretty much every love song is about such relationship nearly every movie and every story has some aspect about finding such a relationship countless hours and dreams across the world are spent in pursuit of finding such a relationship of few years ago a friend taught me

though that there are many similarities in how we hope and think about a marriage commitment and relationship and the Covenant relationship that we can have with God in Jesus Christ that we talk so much about in church which I was grateful for her Aha and her comparison because there are a lot of church words that we use that I don't understand until I take it out of church talk and see how it works in everyday life I've done that with testimony with repentance with worthiness sometimes they just don't make sense in church talk for me

but when I put it into real life talk there's new ahas in a healthy marriage relationship and commitment both individuals are excited to be in that relationship they both want to be with each other they have pursued one another they have received what each other has to offer they both want to do life together they choose to to make a commitment to be loyal to each other through the ups and downs the good and the bad in life they trust each other to not just accept one another but to love each other even in the

worst days and they encourage support and look forward to seeing the fullness of who each other truly are can you tell I've thought about this just a little bit if you're like me I'd be curious no what else you'd add but I started noticing I think when we were reading the old Testament with the come follow me reading program and that the general conference speakers were talking so much about covenants and I didn't think about it very much because I just kind of checked it off as the primary lesson and the understanding of it's a

a covenant is a two-way promise with God in theory I knew God did something but it seemed like to me we talked a lot about what I was expected to do when I got baptized and went to the temple like a lot of expectations so then when I think about this friend that compared things to marriage and helped me see something different it was powerful she was thinking about her marriage relationship and mentioned that it too was a covenantal relationship and the light bulbs went off for me we talked about all the things things she

had received by literally taking her husband's name for better and for worse this conversation with my friend has opened my eyes so tenderly as I think about the relationship and Covenants we have and can make with God and Jesus Christ let me share that list of things I dreamt about in a healthy marriage again and I invite you to think about them with the Lord and you in mind you both are excited to be in that relationship you both want to be with the other you have pursued one another you have received what each other

has to offer you both want to do life together you choose to make a commitment to be loyal to one another through all the ups and downs and the good and bad in life you trust each other to not just accept and but love each other on the worst days you encourage support and look forward to seeing the fullness of who each other truly are I love when I have aligned Thoughts with wise people sister Johnson shared this quote and I feel really good good that we sh we're going to share the same quote president

Nelson wrote an article in the Leona a few years ago um called the Everlasting Covenant he talks about this relationship we have with God I love these lines once you and I have made a covenant with God our relationship with him becomes much closer than before our covenant now we are bound together because of our covenant with God he will never Tire in his efforts to help us and we will never exhaust his merciful patience with us to me that sounds a lot like what I hope a husband will be I hope he won't get

too exhausted with me I vividly remember the day I went to the temple to make more covenants with God in Jesus Christ and commit to a deeper level to the relationship the teleprompter stops in case you're curious it doesn't keep going so thank you for stopping teleprompter man so nice and he's going back so I can say the sentence I love it okay I'm I'm digging this thing okay I remember vividly the day went to the temple to make these covenants and to truly want to commit to at a deeper level to have the relationship

I want to have with them however in thinking about the hours I spent dreaming of my wedding day I wish I had spent a fraction of those hours learning and preparing even more for that commitment I made with my heavenly father and savior one of the greatest ahas for me when I have tried to understand my personal relationship with My Father and Jesus Christ is that they both pursue me as a g who doesn't date too much there aren't too many men that have truly pursued me okay the ones I was engaged to there was

a little bit of a pursue but that was the years and years ago this idea of being sought after by a really great man that I admire and respect who is eager and wanting to spend time with me who is curious in figuring out how to create opportunities to be with me is a pretty tender and humbling idea I have fallen in love with these verses in Ezekiel which is in the Old Testament in case you don't know um where he says no I can't read it will you look at these vers when I read

these verses will you pay attention and look at this image of Christ that might come up for thus saith the Lord God behold I even I will both search my sheep and seek them out as a Shepherd seeketh out his flock in the day that he is among his sheep that are scattered so will I seek out my sheep and I will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered in the Cloudy and dark day this idea that God and Jesus Christ are as Elder Patrick kieran's beautiful comments from this last General

Conference said are in Relentless pursuit of you and me is enough to make me crumble and SOB in awe and honesty and honestly confusion at times and yet is be because I have had those tears in such tender sweet moments with the spirit teaching me what they see of me that I can stand tall and with confidence boldly declare this intimidating phrase I was invited to actually talk about I am perfection in progress let me tell you why I can be bold in declaring this with a committed or covenantal relationship we are invited to have

with God and Jesus Christ there are two other definitions that mean so much to me many of you scriptorian were waiting for me to get to them thanks to Google and president Nelson BYU studies and my Jewish Orthodox therapist I have loved these beautiful definitions of perfection wholeness and complete these are definitions that make a great deal of sense when I think about the tender relationship we invite we are invited to have as we make these covenants with God and Jesus Christ because of that relationship my meager human offerings combined with the offerings of God

in Jesus Christ make me whole I love the parable of the Loaves and Fishes has become so precious to me as I think about how real it is when I bring my meager offering of the Five Loaves and two fishes and that they can completely then feed the crowds that might be in my life with Oodles of leftovers so then back to this sentence because of my choosing to be in a covenant relationship with God in Jesus Christ because I am bound to them I can say I am complete I am whole how does this

feel for you if you were to say these phrases in your mind can you receive them can you own them I can boldly say this because I am bound to my Father in heaven and my savior who are Perfection they are whole and they are complete because I am bound to them I get to claim these words as well this makes even more sense to me when I I think about the sacrament prayers and the fact that I get to take the savior's name upon me because of the covenants I have made if we were

in a different setting I'd pause and beg to know what is happening in your heart and mind right now because I'm selfish I would like to know which definitions resonate the most with you and I'd want to know what this might mean for your real life and I'd be curious to know if any of this is old news and you just want to Pat me on the head and say good glad you got it Emily welcome welcome to the church but because we're I can't do that I'd like you to take a moment and because

remember I'm a sixth grade teacher was forever and always and I want you to think I'm going to ask you to think truly what is standing out in this in these thoughts and now I'm going to make you talk I want you to turn to somebody sitting next to you invite somebody don't don't force them if they don't want to part participate we don't force people but invite them to join you in a conversation I have my phone I'm sending the timer for 2 minutes and I want you to turn and share your thoughts with

each other you literally have two minutes so be gracious and generous but share your thoughts ready go you guys are so much better than the sixth graders that was so so much easier to get you back and my new favorite person is of the very top she gave me the cell phone concert moment while you guys were all talking so bless you I'm pretty darn jealous that I did not just come and sit with you and that I didn't get to hear all of your thoughts if we see each other in the next oh my

gosh you guys are so nice thanks okay now I'm going to cry so you better stop um if we see each other in the next couple days I would love for you to come up and tell me some of the things that you just talked about and that you shared I want to move for a minute now to the in progress part of this sentence how I love this thought too for me oh my gosh you guys are the coolest okay put your phones down for me and I hope for you because I want you

to be thinking for yourself as well progress tells me there is a journey to be had I I haven't arrived yet I am practicing I'm navigating I'm exploring and I'm discovering I deeply believe that God is so anxious for me and you and us to truly inherit all he ha again I like to take words and Concepts at a church talk so I can understand them more fully and for this concept of understanding all he ha I want to talk about my parents we have a large age range in our family I'm the oldest and

my youngest sister is 18 years younger than me she was a long awaited addition to our family that we all prayed would come but as my parents thought about what we could do as a family that could help create shared memories and moments and teach and work teach us work and cooperation and have fun they decided to save up and purchase a boat we have spent countless hours and have many sherish memories on this boat and I've wondered who might inherit that boat it's been if you knew me my dad's rolling his eyes he's like

probably not you me heart because there's a lot to do with such a boat if I wanted to inherit in order to make the continued family memories there are a lot of logistics there are a lot of checklists to ensure that it actually works that the thingy on the bottom is screwed in and that you don't sink I'd have to learn how to drive it so that people could survive but then also have fun on it then there's a whole thing of like getting the boat on the trailer or getting the trailer and the boat

into the water there are so many things it's a long list of details and behaviors to step into if I truly wanted to inherit the boat and continue the family memories let's say I decided I wanted to and I wanted to learn all the things it would then make sense for that my dad would help me practice he might ask one of my siblings who have become experts to help me learn as well you're probably thinking why don't they just inherit it I know I know just stay with me and I would have to start

practicing all of those things I'd have to practice in order to progress and be able to care for the boat on my own my parents wouldn't expect me to figure out how to handle and care for the boat completely without out lots of practice and they would be there to help compensate for my attempts and the goal and purpose would be that one day I would care for it on my own in order to create opportunities for others this all seems pretty similar to the father in Heaven's plan in general this is the essence of

being exalted that we will have learned and practiced and progressed to be like God honestly there are some days when I have trouble maintaining my vision and staying focused on the why of the plan when I'm in that mindset sometimes I question whether the effort to care for and maintain the boat is worth it for a few days of family vacation and sometimes I find it all too easy to question whether my efforts to follow God's plan are truly worth it and yet I don't have to look too far in my pth to stand and

an amazement of what extraordinary things happen because I've chosen to be loyal to God in Jesus Christ I don't have to look too far in my past to stand in awe of the story of my life that is exceeded every possible hope and expectation that I've ever had for it because I have chosen to let Jesus Christ be my guide I love these words of sister Camille Johnson the woman you heard from earlier today why do we want the Savior to be the author and finisher of our stories because he knows our potential perfectly he

will take us to places we never imagined ourselves he will make us a David or an Esther he will stretch us and refin US refine us to be more like him we can choose to write a comfortable narrative for ourselves or we can allow the master author and finisher to write our story with us I know this personally painfully personally at times and yet also mind-blowingly powerful these stories of Our Lives not just the snapshots can leave us standing All Amazed and while it might be odd to witness and testify I wanted of this the

practicing for progress is powerful I love that lawyers practice law that doctors practice medicine I love that in yoga for those that do it it's a practice I have loved pondering wrestling and praying and weeping with thoughts about this sentence that I am perfection in progress but then I've Loved changing the words and creating a new sentence with deep meaning that can say I am complete and whole in practicing with God and Jesus Christ and thus I am perfection in progress as I practice it makes me curious about the purpose of that practice so what

to what end am I practicing with that I want to share one of my favorite sculptures from an artist I love I fell in love with Michelangelo when I was able to experience an art history study abroad in college I love it so much that I'm debating marrying him or one of Captain moroni's grandsons who I'm sure are equally as handsome and cool as he is in the next life but I Michelangelo is pretty cool one of my favorite works of his is this sculpture called the pi it is of mother the mother let's try

that again I know how to read it is of Mary the mother of Jesus Christ after he was taken off the cross if you look at it her head and neck look so young and innocent we can see her reverence in her face almost reminiscent of her holding her infant son when he was born yet if you look to her legs they are massive they are huge look at how the folds of her clothing seem to hide the structure and base that Michelangelo created that are her legs and thighs if she were to stand up

she would be the most fascinating woman to look at her legs do not match her neck and arms and head but in order from Michelangelo to create this scene to make it look as if this reverent innocent Mary Mother of Jesus were holding him after his death he had to create her legs to be massive in order to tenderly and capably hold the weight of this grown and now dead man this is my visual reminder for my perfection worries hopefully whatever your Perfection worries are whether it's getting great grades whether it's having a orderly home

whether it's having children that are well behaved and like each other oh the laugh say so much okay we'll pray for that one uh but whatever it is that is your Perfection worries I hope this can be a reminder for you as well when I slip out of seeing myself as God sees me and I start critiquing my thighs or my ankles or whatever part of me I'm frustrated with I often catch hold of this image of Mary and her thighs in the sculpture and I when I'm in a good day get curious about what

God is asking me to hold I'm curious to know what God would allow me to hold as he invites me to see myself as he sees me to have me know and then and help others around me know the truly Noble and Royal and essential roles we play in life and in this his Grand and glorious plan well I longed to be the physical size I was in Boston and to have that long brown hair again I'm old so now it's blonde not gray the current version of me is one who is confidently and humbly

proud to say I am perfection in progress I love and cherish the journey we each get to have I testify that because God and Jesus Christ are Relentless in pursuit of each one of us we are all invited to make covenants to be in a personal and unique relationship with each of them so that we can stand confident in all that comes our way how I love this and how I love them and I say these things in the sacred name of Jesus Christ amen [Music] amen this message was given at the 2024 BYU Women's

Conference [Music]