How To Be Happy - Seneca (Stoicism)

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so let's have a look at 10 ways we can find happiness from the teachings of Seneca number one live with arate Seneca says a good character is the only guarantee of everlasting Carefree happiness the ultimate goal of stoicism is eudaimonia that is to live a happy and smoothly flowing life to achieve this goal we need to be on good terms with our inner Diamond the highest version of ourselves our natural inborn potential the stoics believed that nature wants us to thrive in life this is why the inner Diamond our highest self has been planted within

all of us like a Divine seed so that we have it in our natural potential to become the highest version of ourselves in whatever you do imagine there are two lines the higher line indicating what you're capable of and the lower line what you're actually doing living with arate is about trying to reach the higher line and expressing what you're capable of in this very moment it's about trying to close that Gap and express the ideal self moment to moment the bigger that Gap the further away you are from eudaimonia and the worse off you

are this creates space for regret and anxiety to crawl out of the darkness and spread misery on the other hand if you try to close the gap then you'll build a good relationship with your highest self and can live a happy smoothly flowing life it's only through the virtues of your character they'll be able to close that gap between what you're actually doing and what you're capable of if all happiness is just in the mind then nothing external is required to get the good life no Villa by the beach no million dollars in the bank

no diamond rings and generally nothing else that wasn't already within us as natural potential and that potential is within all of us number two accept whatever happens in the words of Seneca we're more often frightened than hurt and we suffer more in imagination than in reality imagine you're holding your favorite cuddly toy or doll from when you were a kid now walk over to the window open it and throw your doll out into the street you stay inside and hope for a sunny day and some good luck all of a sudden life becomes an emotional

roller coaster without you having a say in it there are people stepping on your doll cars running all over it and all other kinds of unfortunate things you never even thought of now nobody would actually do that with their own treasured possession but isn't that exactly what we do to ourselves by worrying about stuff outside our own control we worry about stuff like are they gonna like me back will I get that job why aren't I taller or better looking worrying about things we have no direct control over causes emotional suffering this is why the

stoics would tell us to take that imaginary doll back into our own hands and decide for ourselves whether or not to get kicked around the point is the stoics want us to focus on what we can control and accept whatever we cannot there are only two things in our control our voluntary actions and our judgments we can decide what events mean to us and how we want to react to those events nothing else is under our control we have three levels of influence over this world High influence our choices in judgments and actions partial influence

which is health wealth relationships and outcomes of our behaviors or no influence that's weather ethnicity and most other external circumstances we compromise our happiness by worrying about things that we have little or no influence over we can't change what already is but we can choose what we do under the circumstances number three take responsibility to quote Seneca the wise man looks to the purpose of all actions not their consequences Beginnings are in our power but Fortune judges the outcome and I do not Grant her a verdict upon me stoicism teaches that we're very much responsible

for our own unhappiness as well as happiness and taking this responsibility will improve our chances of attaining eudemonia we can either play a victim to our circumstances and get pushed around or we can choose to take responsibility for how we handle the circumstances being able to choose is called Freedom of Choice when something happens that affects us it's a stimulus how a react is our response oftentimes that response happens automatically unconsciously and is therefore rarely aligned with our best self when you get out of work and find yourself in traffic it's plausible that you might

decide that this situation is terrible and you angrily start cursing at the cars you're getting pushed around by an outside event that you don't control and cannot change you let an outside circumstance determine how you feel and act it doesn't need to be this way there's a gap between stimulus and response it may be vanishingly small but it's always there thanks to this Gap we always have the chance to choose our voluntary reaction or non-reaction to this or any given situation if you want to get in that Gap and choose your best response you need

the awareness to spot your first impression once you recognize this impression you can take a step back and question whether this impression is good to go or not this way you can avoid rash impulsive and automatic Behavior in this case ask yourself is getting angry or cursing going to smooth out the traffic once you realize that it's obviously not going to do that you can choose a productive alternative like listening to an audio book or putting on some relaxing music this way you're thinking before reacting and taking charge of the situation if we take a

look at this triangle of Happiness we'll find eudemonia a smooth and happy life at the center it's achieved by one living with arate that is to express your highest self in every moment 2. accepting whatever happens which means to focus on the things we control and accept the rest as it happens and three taking responsibility take responsibility and don't let outside events determine our well-being then we can express our best self and become supremely happy number four be mindful of your anger as we learn from Seneca we shouldn't control anger but to destroy it entirely

but what control is there for a thing that's fundamentally Wicked anger is defined as an intense emotional state involving a strong uncomfortable and hostile response to a perceived provocation hurt or threat we believe that getting angry is not always bad and having the right amount of anger at the right time is Justified however according to the stoics there's no such thing as a good degree of anger anger is fundamentally unreasonable and it damages Society hence it's unnatural according to Seneca angry is a binary emotion the emotion of anger has a forward momentum that's far more

extreme than other emotions the moment you realize you're angry you're already under its control he calls anger a temporary Madness and a poor guide to happiness and that even when Justified we should never act on the basis of it because it affects our sanity anger interferes with problem solving and good judgment and makes you rash and rigid in your thinking while fear drives us to flee anger drives us to aggress and confront anger motivates revenge and retaliation hence Seneca advises us to be mindful about our own anger triggers so that we'll be able to catch

and neutralize them far earlier number five know where you're going the Seneca teaches us if a man knows not to which Port he sails no wind is favorable Seneca views happy life as a path and you can't follow that path if you don't know where you're going or what that end goal is by path we mean the desired aim function and use of our life most of us in the modern world limit our life to studying working having a family and then eventually dying in our old age we mostly live our lives on autopilot without

conscious purpose we rarely take the time to reflect on life and all that we're required to do and be we have no purpose overall to give meaning to events nor do we have any clear idea of their own Identity or who we truly are many of us are depressed and unhappy because our lives lack Direction and meaning the best way to find your path is by knowing who you are what you want and how you can achieve your goals when you have your answers you have a road map so you can start living a purposeful

life that will help you achieve more and more of what you want one of the greatest gifts as a human is the ability to choose how you live your life the choice to be a parent or not the choice to be college educated or choose an apprenticeship the choice to break the rules by designing your own future the benefits of making the right choices are immense and the feeling of fulfillment even better which is why to be happy you need to learn how to find purpose and meaning in life for yourself number six don't follow

the crowd Seneca says you ask me to say what is particularly important to avoid my answer is this a mass crowd it's something to which you cannot entrust yourself yet without risk we live in a world where we follow the same path as our colleagues and friends just not to seem Odd as soon as someone starts doing anything differently the members of the crowd they belong to often quickly try to bring them back by calling them names such as insane mad or crazy and by warning them about the danger they might face if they step

out of line the truth is by following the crowd you're limiting your potential for growth you'll settle for what you think is good enough you won't stress yourself out by thinking of ways you can improve because you've already accepted that you're normal because you're doing whatever the majority is doing we need to realize that our happiness comes from within not from other people and being different is not a bad thing at all according to Seneca if one wants to live a happy life then he should limit his association with the crowd he believed that the

contagious emotions of the crowd tempted individuals to be self-indulgent and self-serving in his estimation it was best to neither hate nor imitate the world instead he advised to shun both courses you should neither become like the bad because they are many nor be the enemy of the many because they are unlike you retire into yourself he said imagine your life as a movie and yourself as a director you need to be yourself you need to distinguish yourself from others and have your own character so people will recognize you be unique be Innovative be yourself and

focus on what you do best number seven admit money into your home not your heart as we learn from Seneca wealth is the slave of a wise man the master of a fool according to stoicism you don't have to stop enjoying material things as long as you don't become attached to them money is simply a tool to get what we want and need most of us mainly need money for two things security and access security means getting the basics like food clothes and shelter access means getting the things that you desire like a fancy phone

a car or any other luxury the problem with luxury argued Seneca is that it develops unnatural Desires in us which are increasingly difficult to fulfill these desires naturally are not up to us meaning that their external Goods over which we do not have complete control and which are therefore bound to make us slaves yet another issue with seeking luxury is that it requires constant and difficult effort which means the commitment of a significant amount of time and resources needless to say such effort time and resources could instead be deployed to go after things that are

truly worthwhile according to a 2010 research paper from the Center for Health and well-being at Princeton University happiness and income are correlated but only up to 75 000 or 88 700 in 2020 terms the emotional well-being of a person Rises as annual income increases up to about eighty nine thousand dollars but no further in fact happiness might even tend to decrease so make sure you own your own wealth and it doesn't own you number eight cherish the present in the words of Seneca every day as it comes should be welcomed and reduced forthwith into our

own possession as if it were the finest day imaginable the great number of us despite truly wanting to be happy and worry free are anything but because we spent a great portion of Our Lives thinking about the past and the future rather than the present moment one of the unique characteristics of human beings is that we talk to ourselves all the time this internal voice loves attention it rarely shuts up and is a great Storyteller creating stories about our past and future the solution to unhappiness and anxiety is to be present this is often referred

to as mindfulness Consciousness and awareness if being completely honest with yourself you would admit that your current situation is relatively Problem free you have shelter and food your life is probably not in any imminent danger right now you have choices available in the current moment happiness is with you at this very moment waiting for you to seize it so cherish every morning you wake up look at every day as a gift and the most wonderful day of your life number nine give without expectations Seneca tells us wherever there is a human being there is an

opportunity for kindness recent studies suggest that giving to others makes us happy even happier than spending on ourselves when you were a kid there was nothing better than receiving a gift you didn't know exactly what was inside but you knew it was for you and it was probably something you really wanted we all grow up and eventually reach an age at which giving gifts becomes just as thrilling as receiving them we find the joy of making someone happy is actually more powerful than instant gratification there's something inexplicably satisfying in witnessing people unwrap a gift and

respond with unadulterated amazement and happiness you've made them smile and that's worth far more than money or any material item there are times where we want to give back to society or our community but we end up falling short our busy schedules of our work life being a parent running a house none of it leaves much room for many acts of kindness and because we don't often have money to donate we equally often don't contribute anything at all however contribution doesn't necessarily have to be Financial you can also donate your time and effort or even

material Goods like your clothes and gadgets that you don't use anymore but when you perform Good Deeds for people you shouldn't be asking for payment even in the form of gratitude if you're doing good the satisfaction of helping is the payment number 10 always be youthful in our final piece of wisdom from Seneca he tells us to hang on to your youthful enthusiasms you'll be able to use them better when you're older when we start out in adult life we are on average pretty cheerful things go downhill from youth to middle age where many of

us succumb to what is commonly known as the midlife crisis for many of us when we turn 40 we suddenly find ourselves slowing down gaining weight and losing muscle tone we're less energized than as we were just a few short years ago however research shows that people who feel younger than their chronological age are likely to live longer happy lives people who feel young tend to have three things in common they are keeping your mind agile your body active and staying socially active you can keep your mind active by joining a book club or joining

a community choir or chorus even playing video games you could also join a community college which is full of courses that you can take to learn new skills or brush up on subjects you've always wanted to improve to keep your body active all you need is to add movement to your day practicing Eastern disciplines like yoga Qigong and Tai Chi are a great way to seek Harmony between your body and mind so that you can face the world with strength joy and serenity the best way to stay socially active is by strengthening ties with your

family and friends make special outings with your family and friends a priority in your life and if you have a friend who makes you laugh spend lots and lots of time with them laughing makes you feel alive so laugh with your heart laugh with your mind and laugh with your soul as we said at the beginning this video is sponsored by nordvpn typically when you try to access a website online you start by connecting to your internet service provider and they redirect you to any websites that you want to visit this means they can see

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