6 Habits To Stop Looking Weak (gain instant respect)

Tommy Shelby is Stone Cold confident and seemingly Fearless so in this video we're going to break down what you can learn from him to be confident in those high pressure situations in your own life also the original version of this video was banned by YouTube which is why you might recognize this re-uploaded updated version please don't banish Again YouTube Spoilers through season five to follow first off perhaps the most noticeable thing about Tommy is that he rarely overreacts in situations of extreme pressure you tell me what he is Tommy's calm non-reactive demeanor is extremely unsettling

to his adversaries but even more important it's in this remaining calm that he's able to put into practice all of the other strategies that we're discussing in this video so this piece is foundational now Tommy wasn't born cool as a cucumber none of us are he developed this trait through repeated exposure to life-threatening situations first in the war and then over and over and over again in the course of his rise as a gangster the same principle applies in our lives if we want to remain calm in certain situations the most reliable way isn't simply

by focusing on keeping a straight face or a deadpan stare in fact the more you think about your facial expressions when you're nervous the more likely you are to actually blush so even though people notice the unflinching face the best way to get there is through what's called exposure therapy essentially you put yourself into less challenging simulations of whatever difficult scenario you're about to face so if you're going to interview doing a mock interview with a friend or even touring the building that you'll be interviewing in can go a long way to calming your nerves

on the big day or if you want to be more comfortable in social situations saying a single extra sentence to a service person can challenge you without triggering total panic but Tommy's experience also shows us what happens if you expose yourself to overwhelming situations rather than gradations of slightly more challenging ones now outsmarting people requires more than just composure Tommy often has to persuade people that have every reason to hate him and he exhibits three powerful tools that regularly keep him in control the first is his use of State breaking questions watch so the Odd

Fellows want you to know that any deviation from your instructions will have consequences what's your dog's name when we're under pressure our natural response is to go with the flow and passively accept the conversational Pace set by someone who's in a position of power over us however in doing so we surrender our power during that conversation which in a negotiation usually leads to an unfavorable deal this state-breaking question is a seemingly out of place question that breaks the one-sided conversational flow and from there conversation is much easier to steer in a New Direction in this

case Tommy uses it to assert his power despite the fact that he is imprisoned you visited your sister right what's your name boy interestingly when Tommy does have power he doesn't allow others to divert it away with their own state-breaking questions he simply continues down his original path rather than answering them furthermore here's a criminal profile to make his actions explicable to the police as is when did you worry about the police Bonnie Thomason is going to kill an MP your life you probably don't want to use this to introduce threats into a conversation but

it can be an incredibly persuasive tool especially when someone's emotional state is preventing them from moving forward productively for instance if someone is feeling upset asking a random lighthearted question can snap their state for long enough for them to consider more empowering possibilities and we saw this in the video that we did on Tony Robbins getting people out of depression what makes you hate yourself is it the red shoes what is it the red shoes I know are you sure that's a red now a simple question isn't going to instantly put someone on your side

in fact other people can be counted on to continue to pursue their own agendas which is why we often see Tommy get what he wants by finding a way to align his needs with the other persons watch here as Tommy tries to convince another faction to join him in a war against the Italians he doesn't appeal to honor or to doing what's right but to doing what's good for Alfie Solomon if the Italians win then I'm planning on leaving not to me it'll be him and then you Mafia nothing like it is still there liquor

and it's against the law now in order to do this effectively you cannot imagine that other people want the same things as you you must try to First view the world from their perspective now I know this may sound obvious but so few people follow this advice instead they offer others what they would want never getting anywhere so before offering help you need to make sure you understand the other person's World which is why Tommy comes to these meetings already understanding the position and temperament of the person that he's going to be speaking to Distillery

provides one tenth of your income protection is another 10 percent of the rest you might memorize drugs and now you keep a gun in the draw and now you keep it beside the whiskey I know you offered a day in our death and if after all of your research on someone you're still unclear on what they want you can always just ask them in the course of conversation I want to know what you want one concrete area that you can put this to use in your own life isn't connecting with someone that you might like

as a mentor say a CEO an influencer whoever the internet makes it easier than ever to get in touch with these people but it also means that they get more of these requests than ever before so rather than the typical let's chat over coffee research a particular problem they may have and then offer to meet to discuss how specifically you can help this is a much much more effective way to start that relationship but be even Beyond this particular scenario the point is that one of the best ways to get what you want is to

seriously consider how you can get other people what they want now this brings us to the next point when Tommy really needs something done he doesn't just solve someone's problem he gives both the carrot and the stick which is a much stronger motivation when you're trying to affect large changes watch the nature of the deal is explaining my proposal I booked you a sweet at the Midland Hotel if you need anything in this city I just mention my name is also in the envelope there's a check 500 pounds for your wife you can use it

to buy a black dress and to Black Horse with black feathers to pull a black Carriage with your body in it should you break the terms of the White Flag some people are motivated more by the prospect of gaining something others by the fear of losing something and all of us are motivated when there is a particular path that assuages both of those desires which is why Tommy makes sure to hit on both whenever he needs someone to be all in on one of his plans you can see it again here this time he does

it in reverse order if those guns we spell fast your life in the force is over when I've achieved what I've set out to achieve I will let you know where to find the guns you'll be a hero you'll probably get a medal this is a far superior persuasive strategy than simply commanding or threatening people and it's incredibly helpful when you're trying to inspire any group of people so whether it's in school or work when there's a team of people that you're trying to move towards a common goal or if it's in business when you're

trying to explain the value of a product that you're selling don't just talk about what someone can gain if they follow your vision but instead on what they might miss out if they don't now this takes us to the last piece which is truly what makes Tommy Shelby so unique and probably why so many people love him and it's his ability to turn trash into resources lemons into lemonades as the phrase commonly says but I wouldn't actually use that phrase because it's most often used to describe making the best of a bad situation in Tommy's

case he makes a bad situation better than if it had never happened in the first place for example when there's a failed assassination attempt on his brother's life he doesn't just look at the bright side of things that his brother mother is alive he uses that attempt to spread disinformation telling everyone that Arthur his brother is dead which buys him time to recuperate and then eventually surprise and kill that season's big Baddie Luka chandreta similarly Tommy is told that he needs to kill his friend Danny whizbing to avoid all-out war with the Italian gangsters clearly

a bad situation but he makes it work out better than if he didn't have to by using it as an opportunity to fake dany's death which gets him a man who can operate in London without anyone even looking for him and it also gets him a hiding place for the guns that he stole at the beginning of the season the supposed grave of his friend a place that no one would even think of looking now this might seem like it could only work in his scripted dramas but this strategy of turning trash into resources is

how some of the most elegant and Brilliant Solutions are created in the real world the point is the bad things in your life may only appear bad in a particular context if you could put those things into a completely new and different context you can turn something that everyone else overlooked into a valuable resource so an extremely powerful question to ask when you're frustrated or you wish a circumstance wasn't the case is how can the thing that I least want become valuable towards another goal of mine and if you're looking for more guidance on building

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join click the link on screen right now or in the description below we've had thousands of people men women introverts extroverts get a ton of value from this course and I would love for you to do the same I hope you decide to join but either way I hope that you've enjoyed this video and I look forward to seeing you in the next one