7 Signs That People Are Being Totally Fake with You | STOIC PHILOSOPHY

Have you ever felt that you've given all your trust and sincerity only to receive doubt and hurt in return? How many times have you silently wondered whether the person before you truly cares, or if they're just skillfully playing a role in your life? Could those seemingly kind actions and sweet words be mere facades hiding personal agendas?

Deception in relationships not only wounds our hearts but also erodes our trust in ourselves and others. Perhaps you want to believe that those close to you aren't taking advantage of you, but then small actions, insincere words, and half-truths gradually reveal everything. How can we avoid being swept into a whirlpool of doubt and maintain inner peace when we sense someone's insincerity?

In this video, we'll explore seven clear signs that someone isn't being genuine with you. These lessons will not only help you recognize others but also take you on a journey to understand that the strength of a steadfast mind is your best defense against negativity. Before we begin, I have a small challenge for you: watch until the end and see how many of these signs you've encountered in your relationships.

Now, let's get started. **Sign One: They're Never There When You Need Them** Have you ever felt like you've poured all your trust, sincerity, and sacrifice into someone, only to be met with indifference and disappointment? How many times have you wondered if that person you considered a friend truly cares about you or if they're simply using you as a means to their own ends?

Those sweet words and kind gestures they offer—are they genuine or merely a mask to hide their own self-interest? Deception in friendships doesn't just wound the heart; it erodes our trust in others and even in ourselves. I once had an old friend I believed would always be there for me.

Whenever she was in trouble or needed help, I was the first to show up, giving her my full support. But when I was struggling at work, feeling crushed by the pressure and utterly exhausted, I found out the hard truth. I called her, hoping for someone to listen and offer a bit of comfort, but instead, I was met with excuses—she was too busy or said she'd call back later.

I waited, but that call never came. That was the moment I realized this friendship only held value when I was the one doing the giving. Another time, I faced financial difficulty and needed a small loan—a favor I thought would be easily granted by a friend who had often promised to support me.

But when I reached out for help, she came up with excuses, even though I knew she was more than able to lend a hand. It was a deeply hurtful realization, understanding that the kindness I had extended so many times had never truly been reciprocated. This relationship, I finally saw, was a one-way street where all the support and care I gave were exploited.

Many of these so-called friends often have a whole repertoire of justifications for their absence. They'll tell you they're busy or handling personal matters, but in truth, these are just excuses for their selfishness and lack of sincerity. A real friend doesn't create stories to avoid you when things get tough; they'll show up and listen, even if their own life isn't perfect.

Stoicism teaches us a valuable lesson: don't place your hope in things beyond your control. Don't let yourself become overly reliant on anyone's presence, because ultimately, you must know how to stand strong on your own. When you realize that a friend only comes to you when there's something in it for them, don't feel hurt or betrayed.

See it as a valuable lesson in protecting your heart and keeping a safe distance. True friendship won't disappear during tough times; it isn't based on conditions or circumstances but on genuine love and respect. We don't need to cut such people off entirely, but it's wise to maintain a distance that ensures your peace and inner strength remain intact.

Sometimes, letting go of a relationship isn't about becoming cold or unfeeling; it's about learning to love yourself with maturity and clarity. Choose carefully whom you let into your life—friends who will be there for you even when there's nothing in it for them. **Sign Two: They Never Reach Out to You First** Have you ever felt like you're the one putting all your trust and sincerity into a relationship only to get doubt and disappointment in return?

How many times have you silently wondered whether the person in front of you genuinely cares or is simply playing a subtle role in your life? The actions that seem kind and the words that sound sweet—are they just a cover for some hidden agenda? Deception in relationships doesn't just hurt the heart; it erodes our trust in others and even in ourselves.

You may want to believe that someone close isn't just using you, but then little actions, insincere words, and half-truths start to reveal what's really there. So how do we avoid being pulled into the spiral of doubt and instead hold on to our inner peace when we sense deception? In this video, we'll explore seven clear signs that someone may not be sincere with you.

These insights not only help us identify others' intentions but also guide us on a journey toward recognizing the strength of a resilient mind as our best defense against negativity. Imagine a friend who only reaches out when you initiate contact or, worse, only when they need something from you. It can leave you feeling drained, like you're the one keeping the relationship afloat.

As a follower of stoicism, I'm not suggesting cutting ties with such people immediately; instead, I encourage you to gain a deeper understanding of human nature and learn to let go of expectations for others. If someone never initiates. .

. Contact. It may be a sign that they only view you as a secondary connection, a source of benefit when convenient, or simply lack true commitment.

Imagine a friend who only calls when they need help or when they're feeling low. Does that sound like a relationship based on lasting, genuine care? Probably not, because a true connection is one where both people are willing to give and receive, without one person carrying all the effort.

Ask yourself: If I stopped reaching out, would this person try to maintain our connection? Step back and observe. If they truly care, they'll notice your absence and try to reconnect.

If they don't, you may already have your answer. I once had a friend I thought was very close. I would frequently check in, inviting them for coffee or a movie, but then I realized I was always the one reaching out.

Curious, I stopped contacting them to see what would happen. Surprisingly, I didn't receive a single call, text, or inquiry from them. At first, I felt hurt and let down, but then I remembered the Stoic teaching from Epictetus: It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.

I realized I had placed too much expectation on a relationship where the other person didn't share my values. Instead of feeling hurt, I took it as a valuable lesson, a reminder of the power in letting go and focusing on controlling my own emotions. Stoicism teaches us that expectation is the root of disappointment.

By learning to see each relationship clearly and lowering our expectations for reciprocation, we can avoid feeling hurt unnecessarily. If someone's actions show they don't prioritize your presence, they may have limited your role in their life. Though you may have invested much time and emotion into that connection, the reality shows they don't place the same value on having you in theirs.

Instead of continuing to invest in an unbalanced connection, redirect your energy toward relationships that offer genuine exchanges, where both people are willing to give and receive. If someone never puts in the effort to maintain a relationship, they may not truly value it, or simply may not know how to show it. But as a Stoic, you don't need to judge or react negatively.

Instead, focus on building inner strength, seeking understanding and acceptance. Direct your efforts toward cultivating relationships with true reciprocity. In the end, the most important thing in any relationship isn't whether others make an effort for you, but whether you are strong enough not to rely on their attention.

This is the Stoic way: living with strength, calm, and resilience. Sign three: They only focus on themselves. Have you ever found yourself in a conversation that seems entirely one-sided, where it's all about the other person, and you barely get a chance to share anything about yourself?

When dealing with insincere people, you quickly realize that you're merely the audience to their one-person show, while they dominate the stage. These individuals aren't truly interested in you; they see every interaction as an opportunity to talk about their lives, their achievements, and their issues, reducing you to a passive listener in a dialogue that revolves solely around them. This is more than just selfish behavior; it reflects a fundamental lack of sincerity when they can't seem to value your thoughts or feelings.

Imagine a colleague who constantly talks about their grand projects, recent exotic vacations, and extensive social network, but whenever you try to share something about yourself, they immediately steer the conversation back to them, making every attempt at connection feel hollow. I once had a friend like that. Every time we met, they would replay the same stories about themselves, showing no interest in anything I had to say.

At first, I tried to empathize, thinking maybe they needed someone to listen, but I quickly realized that every effort I made to share was met with indifference. That's when I understood this relationship was one-sided and they didn't really see my value. Self-centered friends seek constant validation, viewing conversations as stages for their own ego rather than opportunities for true connection.

If you share your own struggles, instead of listening and offering support, they quickly flip the discussion back to their own hardships, leaving you feeling as if your words have been lost in an echo chamber. At that point, you understand that this person isn't really a friend; they don't intend to shoulder your burdens or share in your hardships. They only want to share their own.

These individuals don't just refuse to listen; they dismiss your feelings altogether. They lack the sensitivity to understand others' emotions and rarely offer genuine encouragement. When you open up about something meaningful, they react superficially or even try to downplay what you've shared.

It's not that they don't understand; it's that they don't want to. Have you ever shared a painful or challenging event in your life, only for them to brush it off as unimportant or even ignore it entirely? Such reactions show how detached they are from your experiences.

A true friend would never make you feel like a burden; they'd take the time to listen, and even if they have no advice to offer, they'd make you feel validated and respected. When you encounter someone who only talks about themselves, instead of feeling hurt or angry, remind yourself that their behavior reflects their lack of maturity. You don't have to respond to insincerity with negative emotions.

Instead, keep a safe distance and recognize that they won't bring positive value to your life. Once you realize someone cares only about talking and not about listening, respond with a Stoic mindset. Remember that you have the right to choose relationships that are worthy of your time.

You're under no obligation to endure others' selfishness. Rather than letting yourself get pulled into these one-sided conversations, focus on people who genuinely care about you. Distance doesn't mean harboring resentment toward them; it's about protecting your spirit from unnecessary negativity.

It's a sign, for they forget what you talk about. Have you ever shared a deeply personal story, an important life event, or a cherished dream, only to realize the person listening didn't hold on to a single detail? Perhaps when you bring it up again, they look at you blankly with no recollection at all.

This isn't just a passing oversight; it's a sign that they never truly valued what you shared, never truly saw you as a significant part of their life. Deep down, we all want those close to us not only to hear but also to remember our stories, struggles, and joys, because remembering is a true expression of genuine care. I once experienced this with someone I thought was a close friend.

I shared my excitement about starting a new course—something I had looked forward to for a long time. For me, this was a big milestone, something I had spent considerable time preparing for and eagerly anticipating. We sat over coffee, and I eagerly shared my hopes for what I wanted to learn and the goals I was passionate about achieving.

I believed this conversation would bring us closer, as it was such a deep and personal chapter of my life. Yet the next time we met, my friend seemed to have no memory of what I had shared—no questions about my progress, not even a passing mention. That moment was a realization that maybe I didn't truly hold a meaningful place in their life.

If they had truly cared, I thought they might have at least asked, "How's that course going? " But instead, it was as if they had never heard a thing. Reflecting on this, I realized that someone who genuinely listens doesn't do so out of obligation but out of authentic interest.

Remembering details isn't a task; it's a natural outcome of caring. After that, I began re-evaluating my relationships. I thought of another friend, one who always asked me about even the smallest detail I'd mentioned before, whether it was a new restaurant I wanted to try or a short trip I had planned with family.

Those small things, which might seem trivial to others, meant a lot to me. They showed that she was truly present and that she listened—not only with her ears but with her heart. She remembered, and that made me feel valued and appreciated.

In stoicism, true and lasting relationships are built on genuine care and real listening. After that experience, I asked myself: Is it worth keeping relationships where the other person isn't truly listening? The answer became clearer as I recognized that I don't need to hold on to those who don't value me.

Letting go of superficial connections isn't about becoming cold; it's about making space for those who genuinely care. Since then, I've come to cherish the friends who are truly there—those who remember every story and detail I've shared, who ask about my trips, and who genuinely care about the answer. These friends are few, but they are genuine, and they are invaluable.

I remind myself that life feels whole and meaningful when surrounded by people who truly understand and respect us—people who don't just show up when it's convenient, but who are there for us in the moments of joy, sadness, and struggle. Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where every question, every gesture from the other person seems to have a hidden agenda? At first, they seem like a trustworthy friend, asking about your life, your work, even standing by you during tough times.

But then, if you look a little closer, you realize that it's all in the service of their own interests. Such people don't hesitate to show concern or ask about details in your life, but when you see through it, you understand they're really after what they can gain from you. They dig into your life, not to understand you, but to see what they can exploit.

You may have had a friend who always inquired about your financial situation or your job but was never there to support you when you were truly in need. Those questions weren't out of concern but rather to assess what benefits they could potentially get from you when convenient. A friend of mine, David, once had a close friend named John with whom he shared his most personal thoughts.

John would often call David, showing interest in his projects and plans. David thought he'd found a genuine friend who was ready to be supportive. However, one time when David was going through financial trouble and needed a little help, John suddenly became too busy, evasive, and far less enthusiastic than before.

It didn't take long for David to see that John only came around when there was something in it for him. David realized he was just a friend John could use when times were good but meant nothing to him when David needed help. Today, relationships like these are all too common.

Some people pretend to be close friends only to use you in moments of weakness. They'll stick with you during easy times and vanish when you need their support. They don't come to share in your happiness or your struggles; they just come to see what they can take from you.

Stoicism teaches us to recognize people like this, to stay calm, and not let these kinds of relationships wound us. Imagine having a friend who frequently turns to you for advice or personal support. At first, you feel valued, but then you realize that when you try to share your own challenges, they suddenly become busy or uninterested.

Once, when David faced a major work setback and needed someone to talk to, John made excuses and had no time. For him, that's when David saw that their relationship only existed when he was the one giving. Marcus Aurelius emphasized the importance of understanding others' motives.

Stoicism helps us keep a steady mind and avoid bitterness or disappointment over one-sided relationships. When you realize someone only wants to take more than they give, learn to keep your distance. This doesn't mean cutting ties with everyone, but it does mean recognizing when a relationship no longer serves you, so you can protect your peace.

Some say they talk behind your back. One of the most painful experiences in life is realizing that someone you trusted or respected is talking negatively about you behind your back. For those who embrace stoicism, facing and accepting this kind of betrayal requires both clear insight and a resilient heart.

It demands a calm mind that resists letting such betrayals disrupt inner peace. While there may not always be obvious evidence, you can often sense when someone is speaking badly about you. It's as if an invisible thread of tension forms whenever you're near them; a quiet unease that can't be ignored.

You may not know exactly what they said or to whom, but subtle changes in their behavior offer hints: a forced smile, a dismissive tone, or even passive-aggressive gestures. Imagine a close colleague, someone you once trusted, who now seems distant. They may still exchange polite words, but their gaze lacks sincerity.

Their stories increasingly center around themselves, and they subtly dismiss yours. It's similar to the story of Linda, a woman who once trusted her colleague deeply. Linda would share every small success at work, expecting sincere encouragement.

However, she started noticing that her colleague's smiles seemed hollow and that her own accomplishments were downplayed with comments like, "Oh, it's really not a big deal. " Eventually, Linda learned that this colleague had been sharing unkind comments about her behind her back, downplaying her efforts to boost their own. Linda was hurt but chose not to confront them.

Instead, she created distance, focused on her work, and protected her own peace. Often, you'll hear secondhand remarks through mutual friends, trusted colleagues, or even passing comments from acquaintances. Those who gossip tend to reveal subtle signs, like passive-aggressively downplaying your achievements or making offhand comments to plant seeds of self-doubt, such as, "Oh, it's really nothing major, right?

" They attempt to undermine you, but a stoic person won't let those words diminish their value. Marcus Aurelius reminded us that it is not the actions or words of others that offend us, but rather how we perceive them. By allowing hurtful remarks to affect us, we grant others the power to control our emotions.

Let these words pass through you without worry, keeping calm and focusing only on what truly matters. When faced with betrayal, it's easy to get trapped in a cycle of negative reactions. Yet stoicism emphasizes the importance of managing one's own emotions and behavior.

Ask yourself, "Does this really matter? Do these words change who I am? " With a firm belief in your own worth, you'll find that such negativity is merely background noise in your life.

Those who speak ill of you are often motivated by jealousy or resentment, pulled into negativity by their own insecurities. Instead of getting caught up in their envy, focus on your own growth, refusing to let rumors disturb your peace of mind. Stoicism doesn't suggest cutting ties with everyone who talks poorly about you; rather, it encourages us to maintain self-respect and not let others disrupt our inner peace.

Remember that no matter what someone says behind your back, their words do not change your value. By remaining calm, steady, and self-assured, you embody the true spirit of stoicism—a spirit that seeks inner tranquility and rises above the trivialities of life. Now, they act differently with different people.

In life, one of the most painful realizations is discovering that someone you trusted, someone you respected, is willing to shift their behavior entirely to suit their own selfish interests. For those who practice stoicism, recognizing this isn't just a lesson; it's a challenge requiring us to maintain calm and clarity. People who readily adjust their words, attitudes, or even their values to match who they're with often lack sincerity and any real alignment with their supposed beliefs.

Maintaining relationships with people like this can lead to a lingering sense of disappointment and mistrust. Imagine having a friend who seems supportive and present only to grow distant when you encounter a major setback, such as losing a job or facing financial struggles. That was Daniel's experience.

Once a highly successful professional, he was surrounded by friends and colleagues, but one dark day when he lost his status and position, he noticed that many of his so-called close friends were no longer around. The warm smiles, the caring questions, the encouraging support—all vanished. Those who had once admired and treated him warmly began to avoid him, offering excuses and rarely making time for him.

Daniel realized they had been benefiting from his success, and now they were seeking new people to help them climb higher. People like this often gravitate towards those who can help them reach their goals and become indifferent when others no longer hold value for them. They appear at social events where influential people gather, and they adjust their behavior, becoming more welcoming and friendly.

They have no issue with disregarding anyone who no longer serves their purpose. But as Marcus Aurelius once taught, true worth lies in honesty and living in harmony with one's own nature—not in fleeting changes made for temporary gain. When you notice someone's behavior shifting when influential or wealthy people are around, ask yourself if they truly respect you or are simply using you as a stepping stone for their ambitions.

If one day you were to lose all your power, status, or success, would these individuals stand by you, or would they… They drift away in search of more advantageous relationships. This calls for careful reflection on the value of each relationship. Recognizing insincerity isn't about doubting everyone around you, but rather about choosing to nurture only those relationships that are genuinely worthwhile.

Stoicism guides us not to rely on the temporary emotions of others; instead, it urges us to keep our spirits stable, calm, and undisturbed by superficiality. By mastering our emotions, we prevent two-faced individuals from reaching our inner core, a core founded on strength, self-respect, and a steadfast dedication to genuine values. If you feel that this video has brought value to you, please give it a like and share it with your loved ones so they too can learn how to protect themselves from insincere relationships.

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