Discovered That My Wife has been having a 5-years long Affair and That My Step Daughter Helped Her..

discovered that my wife has been having a 5 years long Affair and that my stepdaughter helped her to hide it so I kicked them both out and emptied our bank accounts I never thought I'd be writing this hell I never thought I'd be living this nightmare but here I am staring at my computer screen at 2: a.m. trying to make sense of how my life fell apart in just a few short weeks I'm Paul 42 years old and until recently I thought I had it all a beautiful wife Anna 39 a great stepdaughter Claire 17

and a successful career as an architect we lived in a nice suburb of Chicago had a circle of close friends and I genuinely believed we were happy guess I was living in a Fool's Paradise it all started about a month ago Anna and I had been married for 8 years and I've been in Claire's life since she was nine I always thought we had a good relationship not perfect but whose family is Anna worked as a pharmaceutical sales rep which meant she traveled a lot I never minded I trusted her completely and was proud of

her success Claire and I had our ups and downs typical teenager stuff but I loved her like my own daughter but that day I was working from home finishing up some blueprints for a new project Anna was on one of her business trips and Claire was at school I needed to print some documents but my home office printer was out of ink I remembered Anna mentioning she had some extra cartridges in her desk drawer so I went to grab one as I opened her drawer I noticed a small unfamiliar box tucked in the back curiosity

got the better of me and I pulled it out inside were a bunch of Hotel key cards movie ticket stubs and small souvenirs nothing unusual for someone who travels from for work except these were all from places Anna had never mentioned visiting there was even a keychain from Las Vegas a city she claimed to hate I had a bad feeling and I told myself I was being paranoid that there had to be a reasonable explanation but something didn't feel right I put everything back exactly as I found it and tried to focus on work but

my mind kept wandering back to that box over the next few days I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off I started paying more attention to Anna's trips her phone habits her explanations of where she'd been little inconsistencies that i' never noticed before suddenly seemed pretty obvious the way she'd turn her phone face down when I entered the room how she'd step outside to take certain calls claiming it was work stuff I hated myself for it but I started snooping I'm not proud of it but I felt like I was going crazy one night

while Anna was in the shower I checked her phone there were several texts from a contact named Mike from work that seemed oddly personal for a colleague I didn't have time to read them all but what I saw broke me Mike can't wait to see you next week I've missed you Anna me too these trips are the highlight of my month I put the phone down feeling sick I wanted to confront her right then but I knew I needed more evidence what if I was jumping to conclusions what if Mike was just a close friend

I needed to be sure before I potentially blew up my marriage the next day I did something I'm not proud of I installed a key logger on our shared home computer Anna often used it to check her personal email when she didn't want to bother with her work laptop it felt like a violation but I was desperate for answers a week passed and Anna left for another business trip as soon as she was gone I checked the key logger data there were emails going back years to a man named Scott at first they seemed innocent

enough discussions about work industry gossip but as I read on the tone changed they became more intimate filled with inside jokes and references to times they'd spent together I dug deeper checking credit card statements and bank records I found charges for hotels and restaurants in cities Anna had never mentioned visiting for work there were even plain tickets to Las Vegas three trips in the past year alone I felt like I was going to be sick 8 years of marriage and God knows how many of those were a lie I thought about all the times I'd

kissed her goodbye at the airport telling her to have a safe trip how many of those times was she flying off to meet him but the Betrayal went deeper than just Anna as I continued to investigate I found messages between Anna and Claire my stepdaughter the girl I'd helped raise for 8 years had known about the affair for at least 2 years there were texts where Anna was coaching CLA on what to tell me about her trips asking her to cover for her CLA had lied to my face telling me Anna had called when she

hadn't making up stories about her mom's work events for the next week I was a wreck I couldn't sleep couldn't eat I'd lie awake at night replaying every conversation every interaction looking for Clues I might have missed how could I have been so blind during the day I'd go through the motions at work but my mind was elsewhere I'd catch myself staring at photos of us on my desk wondering if Anna was thinking about Scott when we took them the hardest part was pretending everything was normal when Anna returned from her trip I watched her

unpack listened to her stories about boring meetings and networking events all the while knowing they were lies every smile every kiss felt like a knife in my heart I wanted to confront her immediately to scream and yell and demand answers but I forced myself to wait I needed to be calm to have all my facts straight I couldn't give her any room to deny or deflect finally after three agonizing days of pretending I decided it was time I waited until CLA was out with friends I couldn't deal with both of them at once I sat

Anna down in our living room the same room where we'd spent countless evenings watching movies talking about our days planning our future the irony wasn't lost on me we need to talk I said Anna looked confused maybe a little worried is everything okay I laughed no everything is not okay I know about Scott the color drained from her face she opened her mouth probably to deny it but I cut her off I laid out everything I'd found the emails the credit card charges the trips to Las Vegas with each piece of evidence I watched her

crumble a little more when I finished there was silence Anna was crying I'm so sorry she finally said I never meant for it to go on for so long I love you I do but but what I snapped you love him too you're confused save it Anna I don't want to hear your excuses how long I asked how long has this been going on she hesitated 5 years she admitted but it wasn't always physical at first we were just friends 5 years more than half of our marriage I felt like someone had punched me in

the gut and CLA I asked how long has she known Anna looked surprised that I knew about cla's involvement 2 years she said she found out by accident I made her promise not to tell you I told her I'd end it but you didn't I said flatly I tried she claimed I didn't believe her I stood up I couldn't bear to hear any more excuses I want you out of this house I said go stay with your sister I'll have divorce papers drawn up Anna started sobbing harder please Paul we can work this out I'll

end it with Scott for good this time I'll do anything please don't throw away 8 years of marriage I laughed again but there was no humor in it you threw it away every time you lied to me every time you went to see him you threw it away not me she tried to argue more but I was done listening I went upstairs and threw some of her clothes into a suitcase when I came back down Anna was still on the couch crying get out I said dropping the suitcase at her feet now I can't even

look at you as soon as the door closed behind her I broke down I cried like I hadn't cried since I was a kid dealing with Claire was even harder she came home the next day acting like everything was normal it made me sick I waited until after dinner to confront her your mom is staying with your aunt for a while I said I know about Scott Claire I know you've been covering for your mom the look on her face was like a knife to my heart shock fear guilt it was all there she started

crying immediately I'm so sorry she sobbed mom made me promise not to tell she said she'd end it she said it would break up our family if you knew and you believed her I asked for 2 years you lied to my face every day I didn't want to lose you Clare cried I was afraid you'd leave if you found out you're the only dad I've ever really had I couldn't bear the thought of losing you I wanted to comfort her this was the girl I'd helped raise for 8 years I've been there for every important

moment of her life since she was 9 years old but every time I looked at her all I could see was betrayal pack your things I said you're going to stay with your mom at your aunt's Place Claire's eyes widened in disbelief what no please don't make me leave she started crying harder reaching out to me I stepped back you should have thought of that before lying to me for 2 years I can't even look at you right now without feeling betrayed I need you to go CLA ran upstairs sobbing I heard her moving around

packing when she came back down her face was red and puffy from crying please she tried one more time I love you Dad please don't do this hearing her call me dad nearly broke me but I stood my ground go I said now the next few days I barely ate barely slept I'd wander around the house looking at photos of our family wondering how it had all gone so wrong my colleagues noticed something was off but I brushed off their concerns how could I explain that my entire life had been a lie that the woman

I loved had been cheating on me for years that the child I'd raised as my own had betrayed me a week after kicking Anna and Clare out I finally broke down and told my best friend Ryan everything he was shocked angry on my behalf he offered to let me stay with him for a while to get out of the house but I declined Ryan suggested I see a therapist but I brushed him off the thought of rehashing everything with a stranger seemed exhausting besides what could they tell me that I didn't already know that I'd

been a fool that I'd trusted too easily I was already beating myself up enough without paying someone to tell me the same things two weeks after the confrontation Anna's lawyer contacted me they wanted to discuss the division of assets custody arrangements for CLA in a moment of anger I went to the bank and withdrew everything from our joint accounts about $95,000 I knew it probably wasn't legal but I wasn't thinking straight I figured half of it was mine anyway and Anna owed me for years of Lies I put it all in a new account in

just my name it felt good for a moment to take some control back but the satisfaction was shortlived Anna's family started blowing up my phone saying this wasn't right that I needed to think this through her sister left me a voicemail calling me a heartless bastard for kicking out CLA Anna's parents who I thought loved me like a son were threatening legal action over the money some of my friends think I went too far especially with taking the money and kicking out CLA they say I'm punishing a kid for an adult's mistake that I'm letting

my anger cloud my judgment but others think I'm Justified that Anna and Clare betrayed me and now they're facing the consequences my own family is divided on how to react my parents are supportive angry on my behalf for how I've been treated but my sister thinks I'm being too harsh especially with CLA she keeps reminding me that CLA isn't my flesh and blood that she was put in an impossible position by her mother I'm trying to focus on the future but it's hard everything I thought I knew about my life my family has been turned

upside down I don't know what to think anymore it's been a month now since I confronted Anna and started writing this post Claire has sent me several emails long emotional pleas for forgiveness she's begged me to let her come home promis she'd make it up to me somehow reading them breaks my heart all over again I haven't responded to any of them I don't know what to say so here I am a month into this nightmare still unsure of what to do next I never thought I'd be that guy posting on Reddit about my crumbling

marriage but here we are I guess I'm looking for advice or maybe just validation that I'm not crazy for feeling this way how do you move on when your entire life has been a lie update 1 it's been 2 months since my last post and a lot has happened I'm not sure if things are better or worse but they're definitely different first the legal battles Anna's lawyer came at me hard about the money I took from our joint account they threatened to take me to court for fincial misconduct if I didn't return at least half

of what I'd withdrawn after talking it over with my own lawyer yeah I finally got one I agreed to transfer half the money back it felt like admitting defeat but my lawyer assured me it was the smart move in the long run the house is another point of problem Anna wants to sell it and split the proceeds but I'm not ready to let go this is the home we built together literally I designed it myself the thought of strangers living here makes me sick but I also can't afford to buy an out on my own

we're at a stalemate for now as for CLA that situation has gotten more complicated about a month ago she showed up at the house unannounced I was working in the home office when I heard a knock at the door when I opened it there she was looking small and scared with a backpack over her shoulder I'm sorry she said before I could speak I know you probably don't want to see me but I didn't know where else to go I should have sent her away I wanted to but seeing her standing there looking so lost

I couldn't do it I let her in it turns out she'd had a huge fight with Anna CLA had finally confronted her mother about the affair about making her lie to me for years Anna had apparently tried to justify her actions saying that CLA couldn't understand adult relationships this had led to a screaming match with Clare accusing Anna of ruining their family In the Heat of the Moment CLA had packed a bag and left and finally ended up at my place can I stay here Clare asked just for a few days I'll find somewhere else

to go I promise iide CLA it's not that simple you're still a minor legally I can't just let you stay here without your mother's permission her face fell please I can't go back there I can't face her right now against my better judgment I agreed to let her stay the night I told her we'd figure things out in the morning I made up the guest room for her the same room she'd slept in when she first came to live with us 8 years ago that night I heard muffled sobs coming from cla's room the next

morning I called Anna to let her know CLA was with me to say she was upset would be an understatement she accused me of turning CLA against her of manipulating the situation I let her rant too tired to argue she can stay here for now I said when Anna finally paused for breath but we need to figure out a long-term solution this isn't healthy for any of us Anna reluctantly agreed probably realizing she didn't have much Choice Claire was almost 18 and forcing her to come home with likely just push her further away so now

2 months after I thought I'd cut all ties with my old life I find myself living with my stepdaughter again it's complicated there are moments when it feels almost normal like when we're eating dinner together or when I help her with her homework but then I'll remember everything that's happened and the anger and hurt come rushing back Claire's trying I'll give her that she's been going to therapy something I still can't bring myself to do and she's made multiple attempts to apologize and explain her actions she's told me how guilty she felt lying to me

how she convinced herself it was the right thing to do to keep our family together I thought if I just kept quiet mom would end it like she promised she told me one night I was stupid I should have told you the truth from the beginning I want to forgive her I really do but every time I start to let my guard down I remember those two years of lies and I pull back as for Anna we're still barely speaking our communication is limited to emails about financial matters and cla's well-being she's made a few

attempts to apologize to explain herself but I'm not ready to hear it I did learn through Claire that Anna has ended things with Scott for good apparently he wasn't too keen on the idea of being with Anna full-time of dealing with all the mess their Affair had created part of me felt a twisted satisfaction at that let her feel a fraction of the rejection and betrayal I've experienced my friends and family are still divided on how to handle the situation some think I'm being too soft by letting CLA stay with me others praise me for

stepping up and being there for her despite everything I'm not sure which group is right I still have days where the anger threatens to overwhelm me days where I want to sell the house change my number and disappear to start a new life somewhere else but then I look at Claire see the fear in her eyes when she thinks I might kick her out again and I know I can't do it for better or worse she's still my family even if she is not my blood so that's where things stand now the divorce proceedings are

moving forward slowly but surely we'll update if anything happens edit to add after posting the last update I received a flood of comments and messages while many were supportive a significant number questioned my decision to let CLA back into my life to those asking why I took CLA back I understand your concerns believe me I've asked myself the same questions countless times the decision to let CLA stay wasn't easy and it wasn't made lightly yes she lied to me for 2 years yes she betrayed my trust and no she's not my biological daughter but family

isn't always about blood for 8 years I was the only father CLA knew I was there for her first day of high school taught her to drive helped with college applications I celebrated her successes and comforted her through heartbreaks those eight years of love and memories don't just disappear because of two years of Lies Claire was a child put in an impossible situation by her mother she made the wrong choice absolutely but she's showing genuine remorse and actively working to make a commends she's in therapy confronting her actions and their consequences am I still hurt

absolutely do I still have moments of anger and resentment of course but I'm trying to separate my feelings about Anna's betrayal from my relationship with CLA I'm not saying I've forgiven her completely trust is still an issue and we have a long way to go but I'm giving her a chance to prove herself to show that she's learned from her mistakes maybe I am being too soft maybe this will blow up in my face but I have to follow my heart on this one Claire needs support right now now and despite everything I still love

her like a daughter I appreciate everyone's concern and advice this isn't an easy situation and there's no clear right or wrong answer I'm just trying to navigate it the best I can one day at a time update to it's been 6 months since my last update and once again A lot has changed some for the better some well I'm not sure yet first the divorce is final after months of negotiations arguments and compromises Anna and I are officially no longer married the house ended up being sold neither of us could afford to buy the other

out and living there had become too painful anyway every room held memories both good and bad it was time to let it go we split the proceeds which gave me enough to put a down payment on a smaller place closer to my office CLA turned 18 2 months ago we had a small celebration just the two of us and a cake I picked up from the local bakery it felt Bittersweet I was proud of the young woman she's becoming but I couldn't help thinking about all the family birthdays we'd had in the past before everything

fell apart our relationship has improved slowly but surely the therapy she's been going to seems to be helping she's more open now more willing to talk about her feelings and take responsibility for her actions we've had some hard conversations but also talking about the good times we shared as a family one night after a particularly emotional therapy session Claire came to me with tears in her eyes I know I've said it before she said but I'm so sorry for everything I was young and scared but that's no excuse you deserved better I just hope that

someday you can forgive me I hugged her for the first time in months I'm working on it I told her and I meant it cla's relationship with Anna is still strained they're talking but it's clear that the trust between them has been severely damaged cla's been spending most of her time with me only visiting Anna on occasional weekends as for Anna well that's where things get complicated about a month ago she reached out asking if we could meet to talk my first instinct was to refuse but curiosity got the better of me seeing her again

was harder than I expected I know I have no right to ask for your forgiveness she said after we'd sat in awkward silence for several minutes what I did was unforgivable but I want you to know how sorry I am not just for the affair but for all the lies for involving CLA for throwing away everything we had she went on to explain that she'd been in intensive therapy since our split she'd been diagnosed with depression and was now on medication she talked about how she'd been struggling with feelings of inadequacy and a fear of

commitment long before she met Scott how the affair had been a way of sabotaging her own happiness because she didn't feel she deserved it none of this is an excuse she said wiping away tears I know that I'm just trying to understand why I did what I did so I never make the same mistakes again what do you want from me Anna I asked when she'd finished why are you telling me all this now she took a deep breath I don't expect anything from you Paul I know I've lost any right to ask for your

trust or forgiveness I just I needed you to know that I understand the magnitude of what I've done and I wanted to thank you for being there for Claire she tells me how much you've helped her through all of this even though you had every right to turn your back on her we talked for a while longer about Claire about the divorce about our separate lives now it was the longest conversation we'd had in months that didn't involve lawyers or financial negotiations when we finally parted ways I felt I'm not sure not better exactly but

different like something had shifted Claire was curious about my meeting with Anna when I told her about it she seemed relieved I'm glad mom's getting help she said maybe someday we can all be in the same room without it being awkward and painful I'm not sure if that's possible but I appreciate cla's optimism as for me I finally started seeing a therapist of my own it took a lot of convincing from CLA and my friends but I realized I needed to deal with my own issues if I ever wanted to move forward it's been hard

dredging up all the pain and anger I've been trying to suppress but it's also been cathartic my therapist has helped me see patterns in my own behavior how I tend to avoid conflict how I sometimes prioritize others happiness over my own how I struggle to express my own needs and emotions I've also started dating again again tentatively nothing serious yet just a few casual dinners with women I've met through friends or work it feels strange being single again at 42 I'm Rusty awkward still carrying a lot of baggage from my marriage but it's nice to

be reminded that there might be a future for me that doesn't revolve around Anna's betrayal Claire has been supportive of my dating efforts even offering to help me set up an online dating profile I declined I'm not quite ready for that level of putting myself out there but I appreciate her enthusiasm you deserve to be happy Dad she told me she's taken to calling me that again and I find I don't mind it as much as I used to so that's where things stand now 6 months later the dust has settled somewhat the acute pain

of betrayal has faded to a dull ache I'm not happy not yet but I'm okay taking it one day at a time but for the first time in a long time I'm starting to believe that there might be a future worth looking forward to and for now that's enough