here he is um yeah no there's there's been a lot of uh uh buildup for this record um you know a lot of hard work that went into it a lot of growth that's happened um during the process of recording it um and even you know just listening back to it um since it's been a finished project um it's definitely the most proud um I've ever felt of anything that I've created I wonder when in listening to this record and every album serves a purpose and every song and everything you try to achieve creatively will
lead you to a to a ation like this but is this the closest we've really come to actually knowing what your voice really sounds like in in this kind of environment where you get to just lean into the craft in a different way away from perhaps all of the modern ACR monster production and performance yeah definitely um I think uh that was you know the intention behind this entire record I wanted to really step into um you know my voice uh my ability um my writing um and I really focused on them things and one
of the main um things I wanted was for it to remain as raw and uh and and as untouched as possible in terms of you know like the effects and all the glitz and Glam that you usually get with like high production stuff um I wanted to yeah keep keep away from that and just keep it as as genuine to the way that I sound on you know just a microphone which is how I imagin it came together when I started listening to this album bro I was like like what an amazing and fun experience
this must have been to start to ideate and create because it just sounds like you and no one else correct me if I'm wrong but I really I have this image in my head of when you started making this record however long ago it was that no one was interrupting you and it really was just you trying to figure out what you want to say definitely yeah um that was you know the intention behind even you know where I'm at uh geograph rically in the world where I'm living um I wanted to you know keep
away from the noise and just really be able to focus on my record and you know focus on being a dad uh looking after my daughter um so yeah there's uh there was there was time you know that I I got to spend on my record and when I was spending that time because it was meaning I was away from my child it was even more important to me that it had to be perfect and and you were prepared right so you made the most of your time exactly cuz I'm I'm making the most of
the time I'm away from my daughter it might as well be for something good you know what I mean I might as well put in the good the good graft so um I think that definitely pushed me in in that regard but yeah like you said undisturbed you know what I mean I'm I'm out here in the in the stakes and and I love the way it is it's real calm and peaceful out what is life like out there bro I mean we're not we're not going to put a pen in the map put on
the internet but what is life like out wherever you are you know uh what do you mean what is life like in general just what is life like out in the middle of nowhere bro well I'll lead into it nicely man I'm in the middle of Manhattan and uh okay you know what that feels like so so so what is the contrasting experience for you it's just the time moves a bit slower you know um I get to move up my own pace um and really like uh concentrate on the things I enjoy you know
uh and it's not always music you know I like painting um I like cooking um I like just taking taking my time with things you know I mean there's not really like a lot of space for that in the city everything's a bit hectic everything's on the go all the time so I guess it's just that you know what I mean the business of the way things feel and the the hecticness of everything the erratic see this is the thing I really feel like now we're truly understanding that what's important to you is the process
the care you get to put into something not the actual result definitely yeah I'm all I'm all about the journey not the end go I'm not here for no medals or achievements I just want to get better at what I'm doing you know a life serving curiosity huh yeah for sure you can put it that way that's very well put I'm really beautifully sort of impressed with this with the with the songwriting and the word play and the storytelling and the honesty you're putting into this record um apprciate that where did it start what was
the first song on this album that you really felt okay this is the soul Soulful Center of what I'm trying to achieve here yeah so the the first record I actually wrote was alienated which is the single that's out of the minute um and I wrote that um first and then that kind of cemented the idea that this was you know a realm that I was comfortable with and something I wanted to experiment with um and I lent into it more on uh some of the tracks on the record that haven't even been released yet
um started finding my identity more but it was alienated that really got the the ball rolling um and um gave me that space where I was like oh yeah this is something I can actually do you know um and it feels comfortable and natural for me when you were writing alienated or starting to to actually arrange these songs was it you with the guitar were you just kind of trying to formulate and write them yourself pretty much yeah um me with you know anything I could get my hands up so I was listening to a
a little bit of YouTube uh random beats off YouTube you know bit bit guitar somebody else was playing then I play a drum just right to the Drone cuz I I'm self- professed I'm a vocal it's you know what I mean I don't think I'm uh the Savvy dude when it comes to every instrument but I'm Leed um I just a bit late to the game when I started playing instruments so I'm not the best when it comes to recording right on time you're right on time I appreciate it so when you was there a
particular time or a particular environment that you felt you were drawn to where these songs really made themselves available to you like how did you factor it into your life because as you said you built this beautiful life for yourself where you you've got your priorities in check you've got the space where you can focus on Family Focus on being a dad focus on on feeding your soul so how did you work music back into this new found joy of Life yeah know it was really interesting um because for for a minute um I kind
of lost inspiration when it came to like listening to other people's music you know um I wasn't really gravitating towards anything that I was hearing that was you know within a realm that um I I was you know practicing um and uh I was getting inspired by like hip-hop records you know raps always a um an amazing inspiring genre I feel like there's always people pushing the boundary and stuff but with the tab of music I was listening to I wasn't finding anything new I was just listening to all the old classic music for a
while and then I came across uh Chris Stapleton and uh he'd been big for a minute I think anyway everybody had already known about him but I I don't really follow things like that so I just heard it myself um and I had a couple of vinyls of his and I really got into uh his Rec cords and uh his style of singing and his writing and his uh just tenacity for music you know he's just a a legend he's such a courageous writer as well I think about that song either way do you know
that song oh yeah all of his songs he's so vulnerable and and still saw like masculine and I think that's something that's missing you know like it has to be one of the most brutal breakup lines I've ever heard song I won't love you either way exactly yeah now it's there's some brutal lines throughout a lot of his records um and uh he he's a really gifted writer so it inspired me again um and I started thinking in that space um myself and was thinking is there something that I could do you know that was
still me that would be um in somewhat in this Lane um and I think that's what got me you know into that place and being like Oh yeah this is something I I want to do and have a got must have been so rewarding for you you know you started your journey in a Harmony of five singers and you found your own voice at the end of that era and then ever since then I feel like you've been searching for the flaws in your voice that the idea of perfection and performance which is instilled in
you in in young people now like put it on the grid make it sound Flawless it's like wait where's the where's the crack where's the break where's the moment how what did you learn about your ability to perform and sing given that I hear a ton of flaws and I mean that as a compliment really beautiful flaws on this album yeah no the the attention behind the record was that I wanted it to feel raw you know so um when I was recording things as I was writing them um I didn't go and recut vocals
over and over again um and the intention behind that is look I've had these songs now for a a long period of time and I've sung these songs with you know the tracks um and the place that I'm at with these songs now to sing these songs live they're going to sound better live than I do on the rec because of by way a totally underrated element of the of the entire experience most people perfect things in the studio and strive to recreated on stage go the other way put the RO slowly Progressive and I
feel that way you can ease into it and get confident with it you know what I mean as you slowly learn the songs yourself rather than trying to give a perfected version cuz these these songs were raw you know they came from this place of um of of real um emotion and things I was going through in in my life and I wanted the vocal to reflect that to like the emotion behind what I was feeling at that moment you know rather than it being a perfect vocal I went for the for the emotion and
the conviction behind what I was saying I love um and and the vocal can always improve you know that's just practice and knowing the songs more so that's why I went with it that way for sure yeah I love it I love it what song on the album was the hardest one for you to sing because you really felt like you had cracked open something and you knew it had to live and had to exist and this was the album to put it on but didn't make it any easier for you to finish and let
go of uh you know what um I didn't feel like that with any of the music on this record I feel like that's just a a testament to where I'm at in my life right now I feel like I've done a lot of grow uh growing um spiritually um you know just as a human uh without sounding too cliche no it's not clich we need to talk about this because because we barely grow I I just don't want to be the person that say you're like you know I've I've gone on a spiritual Retreat and
figured myself bro it's really important but it's it's not like that it's just natural growth you know it's real life things have happened to me and I've I've grown up a lot um and I've learned different ways to uh approach things and with this record like we were talking about with Chris Aon a second ago like there's a there's a real power behind being vulnerable you know and being honest and communicating with other human beings and I think um the thing I've learned the most in the last few years is if you can really communicate
with people um the reception and response you get from other human beings will will surprise you you know if you're a closed book and and you you feel like you're standoffish with people then people instantly feel like there's something wrong or they should press more or whatever and I feel like if you're open with people and you're just honest um the response you get from people like I said will surprise you and in a positive way you know you you'll get some good feedback that can actually help you out in life than just being closed
up you know well because you know I've always enjoyed meeting with you or talking with you but I've definitely had that feeling from you that you know as much as I would like to open up it's just not in me to do so would you say that you know in in in in previous elements and areas of your life that you were a closed book that you recognized that you had the ability to put the armor up yeah definitely man I had trust issues for the longest time I think with anybody and everyone um and
that's just the way I was you know uh the way I was raised where I come from uh braet teaches you to be wary you know um so that's just you know a development and a growth that uh you know where I'm at in my life and the type of people I'm dealing with and the people I'm having conversations with it's not um a negative thing it's it's for a positive reason you know these people we're all on the same team we're all trying to do the same thing so um I'm very blessed and grateful
for you know the position that I'm in and the job that I get to do um at 31 years of age I have a complete new appreciation to be able to even do this as a as a for a living you know um and just have this as a job it's it's ridiculous um so I have a a different level of of of of gratefulness you know I think that really impacts your ability as well to be able to guide and to lead and I do get a sense of real um guidance on this album
not in terms of what you were searching for to achieve but also the role that you now have embraced and accepted in life which is to be a father and I and I love I love getting a sense that without being direct through lyrics necessarily or trying to uncover any sort of direct reference points that the spirit of that experience is on this record am I wrong yeah no definitely that's uh there's a lot of that um throughout uh you know my my viewpoint and uh I I justify U my viewpoint through that a lot
in in in a lot of things that I'm saying in the songs you know I'm saying that um I've grown due to this responsibility that I've accepted and this is now um you know shaping and and pushing me into the decisions that I'm making now as a grown M wow Hold On Tight bro it goes by so quick like know it does so F I'm trying to slow down the clock I'm going to be honest she's growing up real fast man it's it's kind of sad when you think about it it really is you know
what it's it's it's it's a really happy sadness it's like the most fully yeah it's such a complicated combination of feelings cuz on the one hand you're so grateful and proud they're growing healthy and doing getting to do things exactly but on the other hand man a selfish we just it gives us such joy and our identity just becomes right how much has your identity changeed since you became a dad it just changes everything um I wouldn't say my identity's changed I think just the way that I approach things is different you know I think
the thing that children teach you above anything is patience um and uh and they and they're looking they're looking through uh these brand new lenses at everything with such curiosity and excitement and it's hard not to be infectious you know um it it just uh it's helped me be a lot more positive in in my life you know which is a real achievement Zane because you know you've been exposed to a really thrashy really intense side of life you know you've seen life at its most unpredictable and I'm sure at times it felt completely out
of control and so with then you have to sort of figure out how you can actually maintain the innocence and build on that innocence that happens in your family how have you been able to separate your experiences from the moment from the present day past experiences yeah to not have those hang around you like wait on yeah no I think uh you know with growth comes Comes A New Perspective you know when you look at things uh at different times throughout your life you look at things in a different way um you know people could
say that you know I I uh you know gave off the approach that it was uh sorry I gave off the vibe that you know it was something to do with the band that was affecting me at that time and it could have just been the way I was anyway you know what I mean I was at that time and place in my life where I just felt that way um there were a lot of great things happening um and I had a lot of fun and now when I look back at that um as
a grown-up man I see that um there was missed opportunity there for me you know to have more fun um but I also look at it and think you know I did have a lot of fun too um and I'm really grateful for the experience I had with the with the lads in the band um and I think we did some things that I'm really proud of in my life you know um and also with having a daughter and now I've got a niece and I've got a nephew my niece is four years old and
she loves One Direction like she watches all of our old stuff um and she just thinks I'm the coolest person ever because I was in One Direction so to me I'm like yo this has got a whole new level of cool Street credit with the young ones you know what I mean so I'm really grateful man and uh and proud that I was involved do you know what I mean I look it in a different way now from her mouth to God's ears man seriously you know what I mean for sure seriously there's so many
great songs on this album I don't even know where to begin I mean you hear me playing something in the water when you picked up the phone or you called us and um I love that song that to me is really it's it's it's it's I love what you're singing about but I also love how effortless it feels did that one you were in a you you were you were in a Groove when that one came out right you were on a wave when that one came out something in the water yeah n um yeah
that's it's a it's a good song yeah it's it's more in my usual pocket too you know um the the type of R&B music I usually do um so you can probably feel that too that I'm more comfortable there you know what I'm saying I'm still finding my feet in this yeah you're tearing it up still and that's what I love about it is is it's is it's all very torn in a really great way um and at times I mean there's one song in particular where the anger is just dripping it's falling out of
you right which is Gates of Hell how was that to record gates of hell yeah no that was that was a fun one to record I was listening to um uh this band called bird clout um and uh they're like a Indie uh group there's just two girls that sink and uh a lot of their records they're basically just like you can tell they have a few drinks and they just give their emotion you know like they just just keep it as raw as possible my boy right here my producer knows this B cuz he's
just like super super cool so yeah so that was something that inspired a lot of the the uh intention behind the record for me I was listening to them and they're really Fearless you know um and it feels super genuine because of it so that's what I wanted to do with that record they say some crazy things in their lyrics like mine's not even close mine's like PG version you know what I mean said I I don't like you very much but I'm still putting up with you like there's a lot worse yourself you you
could have said but it got the sentiment across you know what I'm saying and that's that was the intention behind it yeah just for it to feel very like kind of messy like I'm out I've had a few drinks and I'm just telling you exactly how I feel so we got to talk about live because by now by the time that we're having this conversation you put shipper's Bush on so you're stepping out onto and and for those people around the world that don't know Shas Bush Empire it's a real box to tick when you're
a when you're an artist it's it's a beautiful beautiful theater that goes higher than it goes wider or deeper and it gives off this the sense of a Timeless place to perform um so I know that you know we've got alienated the life take but this is going to be different this is going to feel different and I can imagine you're more excited about performing now than ever before given the nature of this album yeah definitely um This Record fully leans itself to to that space you know it gives it breath leads that um so
I feel like it um it's only going to be elevated like I said I know the songs better than when I recorded them so I feel like the vocals will be good um and I'm confident and excited I'm in a different uh head space well I wanted to I want to stop you there and talk about that because we we've known each other since since you left the band and um yeah you know it's a while now a while now right and and you know your talent and your ability um and your love for music
has never been has never been in question but what's been challenging and I know this is is executing sometimes on these things um you know releasing the music and in particular performing the music um when did you start to come to grips with that and actually start to stare that in the face and understand acknowledge accept it for what it was and realize that you could actually get past that to the point of enjoying performing again I think it's a combination of a lot of things you know um I think it's again you know where
I'm at in my life I feel like I'm I'm a grown man and like responsibility is is something that I'm taking you know um pride in uh and if I say I want to do something then um my words should be as strong uh as as my actions you know um and um I want to be able to back things up um and you know approach things in in in that kind of man um aside from that I feel like um this is my profession at this point you know what I'm saying I feel like
I'm pretty good at it um and I don't I don't feel like I have uh too much to be worried about you know what I mean I feel like I just built a lot of um fears and expectations up in my mind what would happen when you were faced with the prospect of performing live I would just before I was overthinking this perfected idea of a vocal you know what I mean like am I going to be able to sound as good as I do on the record is this the kind of music that I
really want to be performing is this my kind of energy like am I going to do am I going to throw in a few dance moves in there like Chris Brown and do a backflip like cuz that was the kind of music that I'm releasing right and I just didn't feel that I slotted into that place as a performer I couldn't Envision it can you even do a backflip no can't I'm just I'm just saying it's not my fled right I'm not that dude I'm going to stand there with a microphone and see so um
I need music that was going to allow me to do that and I feel like this record does that you know what I'm saying so I feel like I'm in in the right place so what does it do to some of your other songs I mean you you know I can still I can still put other songs in the set list around my newer music you know what I mean and make it that kind of show but I'm not going to be singing like the the high high energy tracks I don't think cuz it's not
really me like as a person pillow talk just as as an example would sound great pill talk has has to go on obviously it's sort of it's my biggest H I think so P has to go on the set yeah but it will lend itself beautifully to this environment and I think you're right I think you've you've actually open the canvas up for all the songs to be friends with each other yeah and we can do them in different ways you know what I mean like they don't have to necessarily sound exactly like the record
it can sound like a live version which I'm cool yeah wow what a beautiful what a beautiful time to hang out and talk with you um even even in this kind of distant way because you know to see you come to this really wonderful place of balance you know in terms of like who you were and who you are today most importantly really it's like your future must feel I mean is this is this does the light shine brighter than ever before right now does it really feel oh yeah for sure yeah definitely again with
signing cliche yeah I'm in a really good place man I'm really happy um and like you just you know uh hinting to that the the possibilities are you know uh endless if I'm in the right frame of mind I think for myself um I feel like I've accepted you know this is something that like I said earlier I'm pretty good I've got a bit of talent when it comes to singing um and you know all the other uh things in life we're all trying to figure out day by day anyway you know personality trait man
you're not alone yeah how to be a good human and all that you know what I'm saying so um I'm I'm learning you know what I mean and I don't think I'm I was a a a bad place to start with um but I feel like I'm at a much better place now you know what I mean in terms of being an effective person when it comes to working my business too you know what I mean effectively it is a business and this is my job um and I feel like I'm in the right place
to represent who who I am you know what I mean and who I want to be did it help being so open um on the on the call of daddy podcast you're looking back on that now did you feel like that was a was it good for you at the end of it I know it was clear watching it why you were doing it and how you wanted to just like look let's just get in front of this and have a conversation a human conversation about people are talking about anyway so we may as well
talk about a one-on-one right and she's very very good at that she is yeah know she she's a great uh interviewer but um i' I'd seen you know a couple of her interviews before and I felt like it was a good place for me to go have a conversation CU I felt like I was in that space to have an open conversation without you know it feeling too um premeditated or scripted or anything weird you know I mean too many Bright Lights just just sat on the couch just having a combo um that's feel the
end of it how did it change you how did you feel changed at the end of that in terms of letting cuz when you communicate you let go and it would creates space for good things so how did you feel at the end of it no I felt good I felt like it was received well um I felt like I got to show you know who I am um and have a real conversation you know I'm a I'm a real person I feel like I'm I'm still pretty grounded uh considering everything that's you know happened
in my life and the success I've had I'm still pretty with it and you know I'm an normal person and I just wanted to show that um that that's where you know I'm U the most comfortable just in in a normal environment just sitting down talking to somebody one-on one having a genuine conversation how many animals do you have on the farm now I have uh quite a few chickens now I have like 11 chickens um and uh that's only thing that's extended can you catch one can I catch one I don't need to catch
him they they're good they're in like a open area they just they walk around do their thing I don't know I mean just they say they're really hard to catch with B head we don't need to catch them we just feed them they're they're really cool the ones that I've had for for a while are real friendly with me now they know me well they come right up to me and stuff but uh the new ones are a bit skittish still they don't trust me yet D I've missed you man um it's good to see
you love you bro good to see you I love you too
