Video Transcript:

So polly eat dirt or get punched in the stomach how about i do neither tony eat i'm polly i'm nine years old and i'm in the seventh grade right now i'm petitioning to skip ahead to the eighth grade go on good now you know what I'm gonna punch you in the stomach anyway she's coming the more glad they skip the quicker i can get out of here and just go to stanford [Music] good job polly the capital of india's new delhi stockdale middle school capital of sri lanka's colombo [Music] The capital of pakistan is long bad n n-i-o-s-i-s humano ultra-microscopic siliconiosis a lost retainer was found in the library and finally the winner of the stanford fellows essay contest but first let's give all the contestants a big hand you're all winners but the grand prize goes to passing through by tony malpead congratulations Tony but remember students you're all winners in our eyes it's not easy to write an essay i remember one time when i was back tony hey paulie what's up hey paulie what's up holy me hey police you're a cheater and you didn't write that essay paul this is a very serious accusation look at that essay look at anything tony's ever written tony did you write the essay you Submitted for the contest yes i did you're a liar paulie paul you have to accept the fact that there are other students beside yourself who are perfectly capable of succeeding academically i think you owe tony an apology vice principal burger what's the last book tiny mouth you checked out i haven't seen tony in here since fifth grade he plagiarized his essay And you know this how can't you just check what books are missing from the library [Music] [Music] foreign who is [Music] so [Music] gotcha polly it's seven o'clock how did you get hendrix do you think you'd be able to Find out if a book is missing between two dewey decimal numbers what the dewey's the missing book must have a code between these two numbers is this about tony's essay no look familiar keep it i have another copy at home what do you want i want you to tell mr brother that you copied your essay i want you to give herself a wedgie i want you to eat dirt Eat it so good i know what i'm going to tell mr burger anyway tony hi you a friend of tony's we're not friends he's my he's my tutor you should stay for some cake tony did you eat already look i didn't want to write an essay miss gilbert made us did she make you cheat why do you care so much How many awards have you won like 40 what's one stupid contest if it's so stupid then why'd you cheat you bring prizes home to your parents all the time do you think i eat cake every week i don't get cake we're out of milk you guys okay with juice uh yeah yeah mom i read your essay it was really good i'm sorry Let's have that cake huh holly would you like some i would love some cake i'm very pleased to announce the test results we have a new top score and next year's math olympics captain thomas tj merriweather colby congratulations tj you're the new kid in homework yeah how old are you nine so are the kids mean here Yeah but i wouldn't worry about it [Music] you