#1 Communication Expert: Do THIS To Get Her Hooked FAST! Social Skills That Make You Attractive AF!

People will make any excuse in the world to avoid just saying hi. On the other side of high is all the glory. The kind of adventures that you could have, the kind of money that you could make. Stop being so focused on what you're going to lose and focus more on what the amazing things that happen on the other side of that process. Owen Cook is the world's number one social skills expert. He's the founder of Self-Mastery Co. And for 22 years, he's pressure tested every tactic in real life coaching 400,000 men across 70 countries,

leading 1,000 plus live trainings a year and racking up millions of online views. If you're an ugly guy and you want to date a girl who's very beautiful, don't rate yourself based on your looks. Instead, put things like sense of humor or having fun or good vibes. Make that more important in your reality. Have so much conviction that that stuff is cool that people that are around you start to feel like they're not cool. Let's say I'm completely fed up with where I am in my life. the results I'm getting. I'm stagnant. I can't hold

a relationship, but I'm really ready now. Give us the blueprint. Okay. The first thing I'd say, and I genuinely mean this is the Owen Cook, you have been in this game for probably one of the longest people in the space of self-development, communication, uh specifically working with men, leveling up their lives. You've worked with thousands and thousands of dudes all around the world helping them increase their influence, overcome anxiety, uh get over stress, grow their income, grow their businesses. For someone who's just stumbling across you right now, can you give us the quick highlight reel

of what has the last couple decades for you now been and who are you just so they can sort of understand exactly what you do? Okay. So I have a I have a very very very hardcore approach to all of this. So for me it's very results driven. Okay. So the way that I think about it is like I will do anything to get the result for the client. So whenever I'm thinking of creating a teaching I'm thinking to myself how do we backwards engineer the best possible way of teaching it that I can physically

think of. Okay. So for us with social anxiety for example let's say that you were to design the best way to teach someone how to be social anxiety imaginable. Well, you wouldn't just teach that by talking in a seminar room or even just on a podcast here, although this could alert them to where someone could do. Um, you're going to take someone out into the public. You're going to take them to a social gathering. You're going to get them talking to every single person there. You're going to show them how to do it. So, in

other words, I have to show people how to go into like a public environment and take over the whole club. Like, like you ever seen the movie like The Wedding Crash or something like that? Yeah. Like basically like, you know, like the movie like The Hangover, right? Like that, right? So, I've got to I've got to go in there and just completely take it over. Have fun with everybody. be the life of the party, but then not just show me doing it. I'm going to get my client doing it as well. Okay? So, the job's

not done until they're also doing it. Um, then I'm going to teach public speaking and I'm going to show public speaking and then I'm going to bring the people that I'm working with up and then I'm going to get them doing public speaking. Um, there's videos with even my 11-year-old son running an entire event. I just did that during some bonus time, not obviously not as a paid event. But the way that I see it is that um I don't want to be defined by what I'm able to do, although I'll show exactly how to

do it. I want to be defined by the results that I can produce for another person. So my ego is based on can I get another person to get out of their shell to become to become super confident public speaker, extremely social, uh to learn about how to use that to build a personal brand and make a lot of cash and how to get over their inner issues. Now, for me, um, that's the result that I'm looking to produce and going to any length possible to get that for people and just thinking like what's the

most extreme version of a way that I can help somebody transform. My background is I grew up lightly autistic, so probably somewhere on the spectrum, like I guess what you'd call a bber. I probably have a little bit of that now, which will always become apparent in my conversations. Um, and basically extremely cripplingly shy, massive amounts of social anxiety. Um, I don't want to say suicidally depressed lightly, but honestly, I was like depressed to the point that I really didn't see a reason to go on because I hated my life so much. So glad I

never did that. I've known people that have done done that. Um, and basically just confused and lost. And so I made a decision to actually get better socially and just to work systematically on social skills, communication skills, um, areas that plagued me and tortured me for many, many years. Um, but it was also that I saw other people being tortured by it. So for me it was sort of like a holy mission from God to understand that and to teach it. Um, so I spent the I spent the bulk of my adult life. I probably

teach about 150 days a year I spent teaching um live in the real world. Um, so that could be doing seminars and getting other people doing public speaking, but it could also be out in public gatherings and actually getting into conversations and working on communication skills with other people in public. So I don't just get to give a little tip and say, "Oh, here's what you should do." It's like I've got to actually demonstrate it and I've got to prove the results and then I've got to get other people doing what I can do. So

what I say again is like just because I brought you to show you that I could do it, I've got to get you doing it. So you could imagine for me the average speaker who is, you know, maybe bringing somebody up on stage and kind of, you know, showing them some different things. Like for me, that would be the easiest way of teaching humanly possible because I don't have to put my kind of guarantee on the line that I can get them doing it. But taking somebody who's exceedingly shy and getting them within 3 or

4 days to a to not just a decent level but to an elite level. Um we've just spent decades studying this area like just studying it and fine combing it top to bottom. Understand the psychology, understand the different uh subcommunication and the ways that they're coming across and uh things like the person's niche market and different things like that. And uh we've just been obsessed with that. I want to do so this whole conversation is going to be completely diving into this. So for the people listening watching, stay around because communication is something I've become

extremely obsessed about as well because it's very transferable to everything. The guy that's trying to get the girl, the guy that's just trying to network, the CEO who wants to close that deal, uh it's it's very transferable. Before we do fully dive into it, so you skimmed across your story, right? You were you've grown up battling with, you know, cooking anxiety and spurges and all this stuff. like that's like the recipe for somebody who doesn't end up teaching what you teach, right? So, what were if you can remember even like the starting moments for you,

like how did you sort of make that leap going from someone who I would assume to be would be the last person I'd pick out a lineup who would want to walk into a nightclub and talk to all these strangers to now being able to do that? Like what was where did that start? I would say that it's a huge advantage to be coming from a place of extreme pain because the it's like Tony Robbins says the enemy the best is the good. So, anybody who's okay socially is actually at a disadvantage. Anyone who is

um in some cases at least a very good-looking is actually at a disadvantage. A rich person is at a disadvantage because they may not have potentially as much incentive to get good in this. Yeah. There's not as much pain. Like pain is the driver for action, right? Pain exists for a reason. And pain when taken badly like like they say you can get better or bitter. So pain when taken badly just cause you to get very very bitter and go into victim. uh but pain taken constructively is going to be the impetus of huge huge

huge transformation. So what I've done is I took the extreme levels of pain and that was able to drive me to want to fix the problem and when I eventually did fix the problem and you know for me it's a never- ending art form by the way. So I never want to be on your saying like I fix the problem like I've been obsessed with this topic for over two decades. Every single day of my life I'm understanding this problem better. I'm a lifelong learner. So, it's it's a permanent student mentality, okay? And I'm looking

to falsify every single thing that I know. Like, if I were to find out today that everything that I knew was wrong, I would just make a video. Everything I knew was wrong, guys. And here's the better way. Like, like I'm always looking for a better way. I have no ego about that. So, um what I would say is that back in the day, coming from that place of pain, pretty much for me, um you know, it's funny. There was actually a uh a video that I reposted and um it was uh by this girl

that was just kind of imitating what regular conversation looks like. So I'm going to kind of play that here. Um the video is um just a girl kind of looking like strangely, but this is this is the sound of the video. Okay. So you'll kind of hear it here. Hi. Hi. And how are you? I'm good. And how are you? Some weather we're having. Oh, it is nice. And the birds and animals. I the dogs in the sky. Yes. And just Yes. How are you? Good. And it's good. How was the family? Yes. So that's

Yeah. So what it says it says it says what it what neurotypical small talk what neurotypical small talk sounds like to neurode divergent folk. Right. So that's what social interaction sounded like to me. Like I wanted to go deeper, more logical, uh more more nerdy. Like that's what I'm interested in. But I would see the way that people are talking and there was these things like like body language or vocal tone or sarcasm or humor. Things that for me just didn't really serve a function. I didn't have any concept of what any of that meant.

Um in social dynamics, we talk about things like the like the underlying frames of an interaction of who's the buyer, who's the seller, who's the more dominant one, who's the more submissive one, things like that. And you know, so it took me decades to even be able to zone in on that. But because I didn't understand it, um, you could imagine me, basically what I did was I said, "Okay, I'm going to literally talk to people for about four or five hours a day. Like I'm just going to spend four hours you just dive straight

into the thing that was hardest and scariest." Mhm. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's no other way to fix it, right? Like you have to go talk to people for five five hours a day. Cuz I was going to ask you that actually because you were saying that you would take people and take them straight into like you're like, "Okay, let's go out and let's we get to talk to every single person." which you're taking someone who's coming to you because they're like, "I'm shy. I don't know how to talk." You're like, "Let's go do the

hardest thing. You don't like sharks. Let's jump in with sharks." Um, and how I guess I don't want to say how effective is it because obviously it's you do it for a reason, but what's the responsiveness to that to sort of take something from it's like zero to 100 straight away? I would have thought let's start with talking to one or what's the responsiveness? Like like I I like people like uh J Shetty, Lewis House and others that I kind of put them in the category of what they call a comfort creator. So you might

watch them to feel more comfort, right? It's like, you know, like life is good, like keep a positive attitude, something like that gives hope. And so I think somebody who is not as results driven as I am can gain comfort from that and and it can be something that uh helps them to become a little bit more emotionally stable. I'm almost more like a discomfort creator. So, in other words, like like if your leg is broken, I'm not looking to massage the broken bone, I'm just going to kick it back in place and try to

set the thing eventually get its heel and then start putting some weight on it, start putting muscle on it. Like, so people come to me when they're ready to just fix the problem. Like, do you just want to fix the problem? Like, do you want this thing that's been bothering you for 20 years to be fixed in three or four days? Well, what would be the most effective way to do that? And then I just want to do that. Um, so I think that it's people that are kind of sick of uh their current results

and like they don't need encouragement. They don't need a a hug. They don't need to be told they're awesome. Like they just want it fixed. You know, Chris Williamson, he talks about this. He says a lot of time for for women um and you know, all women are different. So you can't put all women in one box. But I would say for a lot of women, um, you know, speaking well to each other, you know, affirming each other can actually help to, you know, kind of raise their vibe. And as they raise their vibe, they

they kind of just manifest a bit of a better reality. I think for some guys like we just need money, bro. Like we just need results, bro. Like like you could tell a guy like, "You're awesome and like give me a hug." But like at a certain point it's like, "Well, I got a hug. I'm told I'm awesome, but I don't have results. Like I just want money, bro. I just want better social results, bro. Like I want a girlfriend, bro. Like I don't care about this anymore. Like let's just fix it." So eventually I

think as guys have like, you know, probably initially gone for comfort. they eventually say like I don't really care about comfort. I just want the result. Now, ironically, to get that result is often times actually raising your vibe. It it actually is about enjoying the process. There's a lot of zen philosophy in there about, you know, not needing something and just, you know, being more in the moment. But the point is that is that we can begin to teach that with that end result in mind of of being resultsoriented. You know what I found very

very interesting that 97.8% 8% of you that listen and view this podcast haven't yet subscribed. Now, if you're looking for the one way that you can actually help us build this show into something that's going to be absolutely incredible and life-changing for you, the one thing you can do is to hit that subscribe button because it takes a lot of time, effort, and money that we put into this podcast to make it what it is. And we've made it very clear that we never want to run ads or sponsors or anything like that on this

show. So, the only way that we can actually grow this channel is by subscribers. And I promise to you that if you hit that subscribe button, you help this show grow that I'm going to continually keep bringing more bigger and better guests to teach you the skill set and the mindset that you wish you learned earlier in life. So, please, it'll mean the world to me if you hit that subscribe button. Go ahead and do that right now. Now, let's get into this episode. So, you talk about frames and there was another word you said

before, I forget it was sub something. Subcommunication. Subcommunication. Walk us through this. So I want to sort of understand these things because you're talking about these are the things you start to understand and explain to the person who's like what are frames? How do I use frames? Why they're useful and subcommunication. What are these things that are happening that I'm not sure about? Okay. So at the surface what you're seeing is kind of like that little funny meme that we showed here, right? Which is like hey the dogs this guy. Yeah. Right. Like that's the

kind of surface level conversation. So that would be surface conversation. Subcommunication is the communication that's going on beneath the surface, right? So, if you are like, for example, I've done over 100 million bucks in sales at this point, right? Again, resultsoriented oriented. I learned about communication, use that for sales. So, um I didn't pocket $100 million, but I've driven that through the pipes. I've actually probably driven a couple hundred million bucks through the pipes. Just never calculate all. So, when you look at sales, right, you might watch me go to the front of a room

and what you see is me do a quick speech and then I say, "Hey, if anyone wants to jump onto a training, uh, go to the back." And then you watch the whole room full of people stampede the back and like elbow each other in the face almost like you know to sign up right and it's like well how do you do that? He just did a speech, right? But there's thousands of little elements underneath the surface of the communication which is the subcommunication which compels people to want to make a purchase, right? Or let's

say that we go to a bar club and we're chatting people and you know say that you're networking and you're just having a regular conversation which on the surface looks normal but then that guy that you want to network with is like dude we got to hang out again. like we have to meet up and they're they're like wanting to meet up. Or maybe that girl that you're talking to is like grabbing at you and grabbing your face and trying to kiss you and you're like what? This like completely average kind of quirky nerdy guy

has this girl like trying to kiss him. Like what did he do? Like like he just talked to her. Like what's going on? And I mean you could even do it where you don't even talk at all. Like you could just walk up and not even talk at all and just by the energy and the vibe and you can actually have attraction just from doing that. So that is an understanding of the communication that's beneath the surface. So that could be things like vocal tone, vocal projection, pitch. Um, and by the way, I don't have

a super deep voice, but you don't have to. A lot of people think like, I have to talk like this now, and you don't. Um, that's a misnomer. I can disprove that if we go out in two seconds flat. Um, also things like in your body language, like do you take up space? Is it loose? Is it tense? Yeah. Talk to us about this because I I know body language is actually the one of the biggest communicators. Like we break it down. It's like body language, tonality, language. language is the smallest tonality is bigger than

language alone. But body language is our biggest non-verbal communicator. How are people doing this wrong? Like how do we you know cuz I'll even notice it myself sometimes like if I'm I do a lot of networking. I I will I'm always very aware of what am I doing with my body? Am I fidgeting? Am I I cross my arms? Am I where my feet plan? Am I looking like I'm engaged in this conversation or am I looking like I want to exit the conversation? I'm very aware of how I'm nonverbally communicating. But this point is

probably extremely unconscious as well. But uh break this down for us like just so they can start to even understand and go, "Oh [ __ ] I've been doing that." Okay. So what I would do is I would I would introduce a con. So by the way, if I look if I look a little bit all over the place here, it's because there's so much to teach. Okay. Like like a typical training for me would be like, you know, 13 14 hours a day at minimum. Half of it like you know maybe up at the

mansion here or like in a seminar room. Half of it actually out in public. And we would do this for days and days and days. So it's it's a huge volume of information but it would be exercise based as well. Okay. But the base level thing from like the base level understanding from which body language changes or vocal tone changes is going to be and and there's many that we could start with but a simple one I'd like you to just introduce your audience to would be the what's called the buyer seller dynamic. So in

other words in any social interaction there's one person reacting more to the other person than that person is reacting to them. And you can see who's the person who has the the and look we're all equal in the eyes of God but I'm just talking in the market here okay purely in the market. you can see who um has more value within the market like within a social market value um by body language, vocal tone, different things that are being said and so on and so forth, right? So the question is what are you wanting

your body language to convey in the first place? And that could be different things, right? It depends what it is that you're wanting, but also what it is that that social interaction needs. So, the social interaction may need for it to come across that you're somebody who has a lot of options and isn't easy to get. But the social the social interaction might also require you to show that actually you really like that person and that you take them seriously. And and depending on how they're perceiving you and depending on what they need is going

to depend on which approach that you're taking, right? Because, you know, with a lot of people that you're talking to, you might want it to come across very nonchalant like, you know, I meet people like you all the time. This isn't really a big deal. I have no outcome towards this. I don't want anything towards this. and then that can cause them to want to chase you. But for other people, they could be intimidated by you and they don't think that you take them serious. And you know, giving them a lot of attention with your

body language could actually show that you do care and that you find them to be exciting or appealing or that you are engaged with them. So, you know, with me right now, um, I want you to feel that I'm engaging with you. I I'm not trying to play too cool for school and like lay back and have you like coax answers out of me. I think that would be inappropriate for what we're doing. So, I'm looking at you directly in the eye. I'm I'm giving you my full attention. I have urgency. I'm talking quickly to

show that I'm trying to communicate a lot of information to you. Um, you know, if you were somebody that I was like looking to uh date, for example, if you uh maybe look a bit more like her, well, then if that's the case, what I might be doing is slowing down my speech. Um, I might even be, you know, if you have a lot of attention, I might I might be trying to show you that I'm safe. Um, that I'm not someone who's going to get needy. You know, if we trade Instagram or if we

trade a phone number, I'm not going to I'm not going to start blowing your phone up and being all freaking weird. So, I might be turning my body to the side more and get and kind of but being kind of funny like just throwing a little jokes and seeing if you'll kind of pull me back in and kind of engage a dynamic where you're trying to, you know, fish a little bit for my attention and create that kind of a dynamic. What What if I'm networking with like a a big player or like someone who

I'm ahead of me in the game? Like if it's the business owner want to do a deal, network high with someone of higher status. Let's just call it that. Okay. What kind of angle are you going for there? Okay. So, an example would be like you were at Tai Lopez's party today. We met at one of Tai's old parties. So, Tai Tai is an incredibly successful guy. I actually knew Tai before he was famous. Um, but he was just locally famous. He was he was locally famous around LA. He just didn't care to be big

on social media, but he lives here in LA. Does parties up in the Hollywood Hills, crib similar to this. So, I remember when I first met Tai, um, there was a bunch of other business owners over and there's a whole bunch of them, all of them super loaded. And the typical pattern that you'd see is like, you know, say that we would go from Tai's mansion down to like Sushi Ya, which is a u in Sunset Plaza down there. There's a a sushi restaurant, right? And you're kind of all eating outside on the street, you

know, kind of in front of the restaurant. So, there might be like say 20 other business owners there. So, what most guys would do is they would kind of like want to be near Tai because they're at Tai's party. Tai's a very successful, highly intelligent guy. So, they kind of try to crowd around him. Um, what I would intentionally do, and I do this every time around high-profile people, is I want to go to the opposite end of the table. So, I want to go where there's the quote unquote low again, everyone's equal in the

eyes of God, but I'm saying like in the in the social market value, which is just real. Um, I want to be as far away from the value as possible. Then what I want to do is I want to be clear, look, everywhere that I go, I'm the party. I'm having fun. So, what most people do is they become spectators, right? Like if if the cool end of the table's over here, the not cool end of the table's over there. People over there will tend to be very quiet and stare at this end of the

table. It's human nature to do that. What I'm going to do is I'm going to become very uh funny, boisterous, loud. I'm I'm going to talk to tables that are adjacent to me, start having fun with everybody, and then they're going to look over there and go like like who's this guy over here? Like like I thought we're the cool table. Like how come they're not, you know, why are they having all the fun over there? Um, another thing that I've commonly done with big business owners is I feel like again, you don't you never

ever ever want to play the game of 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Because the problem is is that if you play that game, um, you know, you you can't win that game because there's just going to be people that make more money than you, right? What do you mean by that? Well, let's say that I'm making about a million bucks a month. And let's say that, you know, that sounds like a lot of money on the surface, right? A million a month. But it's really not. Now, a lot of

your audience might go, "What? You're saying you're so out of touch? Like, a million dollar a month is not a lot." No, like we're sitting up here in the Hollywood Hills. Like, that's not a lot of money. Um, you know, uh, Avichi and Ti used to live in this house. Like the guy that runs EDC just used to live in this house. That's not a lot of money when you live in Los Angeles. I mean this house here is pretty cool. Ty's crib is worth it's a hundred million estate previously lived in by the Sultan

of Brunai. It's an edless game, right? But the thing is even at Tai's level of money living in $100 million estate, if he goes to certain places, he's a small fry financially, which is actually what you want to do by the way. You don't just want to be around people that are at your level. You want to be around people who are past where you're at. So, if I go to an environment like that and then I play the game of, oh, I'm a six in wealth and you're a 10 in wealth, the average person

being a one, like pedestaling. Yeah. Yeah. If I'm putting him at a 10, then the problem is I'm I'm playing his game and then he's going to he or she are going to clump me as the six in the equation and them as the 10. I'm playing their game. I think what you want to do instead is you want to be what's called one of one. So, you want to not in any way, shape, or form buy into that kind of frame, right? So, for example, if you're an ugly guy and you want to date

a girl who's very beautiful, don't rate yourself based on your looks. Instead, put things like sense of humor or having fun or good vibes or just being popular in your social group or things like that. Make that more important in your reality as well as things like what whatever is particularly unique about you and be have so much conviction that that stuff is cool that people that are around you start to feel like they're not cool. So, a big thing for me example is the great outdoors. I mean, I'm I'm a huge outdoorsman. Like, I

love to be in the outdoors. So, if I'm talking to a girl and then, you know, we just get to talking and then we start talking about the outdoors and then I start pulling out pictures from my trip to Alaska and my trips to Montana and Wyoming and and, you know, Arizona and Washington State and driving the Oregon coast and the redwood forest and the, you know, rainforest in Hawaii and, you know, stuff like that. Well, then if she be if I'm confident about that and then she begins to buy into my frame that that's

a cool way to live, then she's like, "Well, yeah, I'm cute, but like I'm just stuck here in LA like going out to like these lame druggy parties and this guy's living a fun life and he doesn't even like me." So now she's in a frame of comparing herself to you of of you, she's perceiving how you're ranking. Yes. The situation based on a frame that you're establishing, right? So, if you don't buy into the frame that looks the most important thing, then someone who might be better looking than you, look, they may buy into

your frame, they may not. You've got to you you have to even be in a position to even get into a conversation with them with which that's a whole process in and of itself. But the point is that if you can get into a conversation with them and then let's say initially you're very very funny. You're not needy at all. You're super funny. They're not as funny as you. So now you have a better sense of humor. They're trying to keep up with your humor like, "Oh, this guy's so cool. Like I always wish I

could be like funny like this, but he's just so funny." And then eventually they keep pushing to talk to you more. You're in no way, shape or form hitting on them. And then, you know, you're talking you're talking about nature adventures or may maybe you're talking about your passion for the Bible or maybe you're talking about your passion for helping other people or maybe you're talking about how you love to play an instrument and they've always admired people that play instruments. um for us that do social media. I can promise you a lot a lot

of very beautiful women um they are visually attractive and they know that they would have something to say but they haven't been using their mind as much cuz they haven't had as much pressure. So if you were to say to them, hey like I'd love to see you actually talking a little bit and not just like you know using your looks you can't imagine the response that gets especially if you have a beautiful woman who's also very very attract or very very intelligent and she knows that she hasn't been using your mind and you say

hey I'd love to see I'd love to see you speak. I love to see you use your mind like and then you know and they're now they're posting little stories of them like you know showing their boobs like that kind of stuff and you're like you're like come on like what are we come on what is this like use your mind you know right and so you're totally like pulling the rug on that which of course most people are worshiping them but you're either a friend or a fan most people are worshiping them fall in

the fan category you're you're actually laying down a frame that deep down they know is probably true so now all of a sudden they want to live up to that frame and you're becoming one of one um in my case like I happen to love free associate public speaking I just love free associated when I'm public speaking. So like I'll do events where I go to the front of the room and I'm teaching everyone in that room public speaking and how to do it without a script. Um so in other words without a powerpoint just

being able to improvise and and public speak. I'm very passionate about this. So by the time that I've been doing that for two days, the frame of that room is Owen is the that's me. Owen is the leader because we all like free associative improvised public speaking. We're all trying to learn it. He happens to be the best of it in this environment. But the thing is, bro, what they don't understand is I've got to impose the frame that improvised public speaking is cool in the first place, right? Like, like we could like if you

look at a basketball game, like say you go to an NBA game, right? Everyone's sitting there staring at LeBron. But you have to initially convince everyone that a guy throwing a ball, a rubber ball, bro, into a hole is worth sitting at the top of a freaking stadium looking down in the from the nosebleleed several of things up, paying thousands of dollars if it's a good enough game. Ed Sheering and going crazy for some guy throwing a rubber ball in a hoop. I was on a bus once and I met a old school surfer and

I remember he said to me, he said, "You know what we did back in the day? We convinced the world that sitting on a wood standing on a wood plank on a wave is cool." Right? Like we tend to think that surfing is a thing. Basketball is a thing. Boxing is a thing. Public speaking is a thing. But somebody has to be that first person to come along and say, "No, this is cool." Um, have you ever seen the old video where someone's at Dolores Park and they start dancing and then people start following? Yeah.

You've got to be the dancing man. Yeah. Yeah. So, you've got to be ideally that first mover who thinks that something is cool. And if you believe that and if and if in your communication you're so passionate about that that other people start to think it's cool and you can make it cool, then there's going to be it's not going to be that everyone loves you, but of the people who do buy in and who happen to resonate with that and like they do connect to that, they're going to think that's super cool. Give us

an example of like let's go back to the party or networking thing, speaking to another person, right? The thing is it's always very simple to break it down in dating. Mh. All right. Um, but I want to talk like say like guy to guy because I think like everyone well probably not everyone I'm generalizing it's easier I'm thinking for myself it's easier to like say flirt if you're trying to pick up a girl and and set a frame or play this sort of game of frame changing uh but I'm also now putting myself in the

shoes of someone trying to come network with me and I could see that if I wasn't very secure I could perhaps see as you're trying to oneup me kind of. So, how do you one like give us an example of like framing and changing frames in a networking situation with like a higher caliber person and how do you avoid ever putting them in a situation where they might feel like you're trying to one up them at their own? Well, actually, let's circle back to that's a great question. Let's circle back to the um Tai Lopez

example, right? So, where's Sushia? He he and his multi-millionaire, if not billionaire connections or one of the table, I'm at the other end of the table, right? So, the first way that I'm not trying to impose my frame onto them in a way that's manipulative or weird is I'm at the other end of the table. I could have I could have done what everybody else did and kind of try to push my way up there, but I'm at the other end of the table. I'm just having fun with everybody. So laughter and having fun and

not being needy and using your body language to show, hey, I could leave anytime. Look, I'm having fun here, but I could leave any time, too. That's going to going to allow people to feel comfortable around you because you should you showing them you don't need anything. Okay, but then what's going to happen and here's what I found in cases like that and that that thing that I use is the tie example. I'm using it because we both know Tai, but I've done that this in hundreds of different cases. Typically, the multi-millionaire billionaire will come

up to you and they'll say, "Hey, listen. Um, you know, uh, how can I add value to your business?" Now, why do they tend to say that? They say that because anyone who's successful understands that the language of networking is adding value to others, right? They get that, right? So, anyone who's successful is like, "Hey, how can I add value to you?" Well, why are they going to say that to you? They're going to say that to you because most people that are rich believed wrongly that once they got rich, they'd finally be happy. So

many of these people have worked and worked and worked their whole life, realized that they're completely miserable. And when they finally see somebody with a smile on their face, and by the way, who's also really good socially and is talking to everybody and at ease with everybody, men, women, everybody, and they see that and they're like, "Wait, I thought that that's what happened when I got the watch. I thought that's what happened when I have the car. I thought that's what happened when I have the mansion." So they begin to envy you because you have

what they did all this for, which was to eventually have love or to eventually have approval and have people who actually care about them, not just for money. So they see that. So they'll usually want to be friends with you when they see you having fun. You'll kind of draw them in. Then what? Then what you say is because part of you, if you run a business, you're going to want to say, "Well, actually, I need help with this. I need help with this. I need help with this." Oh, right? And now they put their

frame on you. It's almost like if a beautiful woman came and started like rubbing her tiss in your face or something, right? You don't want to start sucking, you know? Right? Hey, you want to you want to go, hey, hey, you know, you know, hands off the merchandise, right? You want to push it back a little bit to show that you're not just going to fall into their frame. So, you know, even even though you might feel otherwise, but you have to, you know, restraint, right? Fight the edge. Yeah. Cuz because what you're doing otherwise

is they just they just shove you into their frame, feed their ego, and they're on to the next. They'll just walk off in most cases. So, in the same way, if they say, "Hey, how can I help you with your business?" Often, and this is the truth, I'll say this. I'll say, "You know what? Really appreciate you saying that, man. I really, really do. That's really, really cool of you. You know, I'm kind of at a phase in my life right now where my main goal is I just want to have fun, bro. You know,

it's weird. Like I work my whole life and you know, I'm just I'm able to go have a little bit of fun at this point. And that's kind of like a subtle way of saying like I'm [ __ ] loaded. You just go, "Yeah, I'm able to go have a little bit of fun at this point." So, you know, my main goal just dayto-day is just to find as much fun stuff to do as I can. I haven't even worked in like 5 years. And as soon as you say that, they they're completely powerless now,

right? It's because what's happened is the thing that they're using to push their frame on other people has no power over you. Which now all of a sudden that that triggers a psychological reaction of like I need to get this person's approval. That's the same thing as someone showed their tiss. But that way that I get everyone worshiping me didn't work. Well, now I got to find another way. So, in other words, what happens is you say, um, that's not even my thing. I want to have fun. Which then that further gets them thinking, wait

a minute, I've always want to have fun. So now they really really want to be friends. Then when you hang out and bro I can't tell you how many multi-millionaires and billionaires I've been sitting with right on this balcony and it I've never asked them for any advice and they just shove advice and secrets down my throat but I just want to have fun. And look it's the same thing like say you know say that you don't want uh physical intimacy right and then you know it's like no like I'm not about physical intimacy with

like gorgeous women. I'm about cool public speaking and let it see you use your mind like let's like use your mind you have a mind can you use your mind by and all of a sudden it's like wait a minute but this isn't going to work I have to use this and now what you've done is you flip the frame or say that you're super funny right and then if ever they're not funny enough you kind of get bored and you kind of just like uh like you say something funny they try to say something

funny back but it's not good enough and you go that was kind of weird and then you turn your back they're like wait you know and then they pull you back they because you've tilted the buyer seller dynamic. So, it's the same thing with when you do sales. Um, you know, if you're do if you're selling from the stage or if you're selling in a video, it has to be very very clear. I'm a busy person. I've got like you don't say this overtly, but it should be through the way that you communicate. I'm a

busy person. I've got a great life. I don't need to do this, but I'm down to help you if you're serious about it. And that's the distinction should be between what you call an opportunity or a sale. People don't buy from a sale. they will purchase if it's an opportunity. Uh Eban Peagan who used to go by the pseudonym David D'Angelo is one of the true OGs. Some of your audience may know who Ebon Pagan is. Eben P A G-N aka David D'Angelo. One of the true OGs of internet marketing. Like he's your favorite marketer's

favorite marketer along with guys like you know Dan Kenny or John Carlton. Evan um he had a book and he literally just called it opportunity. And and to me, that's the biggest thing is like when you're socializing with somebody, is this coming across as a sale, like as a schmarmy sale, or is it an opportunity? And that has to be framed through your vocal tone, body language, things that you say, um, you know, the way that you're working in environment. It has to be clear that it's an opportunity. As soon as it becomes a sale,

you want something, reflexively, they leave, right? Um, best example I could think of would be like fancy watches, right? Look at you look at a basic fancy watch. Um, you know, Ottomarp Gay, PC, Philippe, Rolex, like a lot of people think these are expensive specifically because there might be like some really expensive movement in it or maybe there's gold in it or something. It's like, oh, you know, the gold in that, right? Like the like the amount of gold in this watch is probably less than like $1,000 or something like that. But AP, what they

do is they say, "You can't buy it. Like, you're not allowed to buy it. You're gonna have to uh you're gonna have to book an appointment. You're gonna have to wait in line. you're going to have to write us an essay about why you like the brand AP and the history of the brand AP. If you um demand a Royal Oak, we're not going to sell it to you. If you walk in with 100 grand, we're not going to sell it to you. You're going to have to come back multiple times and then you're going

to have to basically pray that they'll sell this damn thing to you. Now, that watch that could be worth $100,000. People say people say, "Wait a minute. What if I go in and I just give them 100 grand? They won't take my money." No, we don't want your money. So, look what they're doing. They're flipping the script, right? Yeah. Yeah. Um there's a great video by a guy named Philip Reed who uh Phil Reed who actually talks about how hard it is to get an AP. People can look that up. You know, how hard it

is to get autom. Um and so you say to yourself, well, why would they just sell it to everyone? So they say that I say they control the uh the the scarcity. Yes. But but it's all an art form of selling a watch that physically is maybe worth 500 bucks or,000 bucks for 100,000 bucks. So everything about the framing has to be done in a way that it's a $100,000 watch. So, um, you know, if they just give it to you, like say you walk up with 100 grand, they give it to you. It's not

like the price will go from a 100 to 50,000, right? Like, oh, if they give it to everyone, they could they, you know, rather than selling one a week for 100,000, they could sell a ton of them for 50,000. It doesn't work like that. If you just make it available to everybody, it goes down to commodity level price. Like basically just like what it's just literally worth, but not with the brand, which would mean that that same watch might be worth $200, $300, maybe $1,000. It wouldn't be worth anything. So every single thing has to

be like some people are told no. Not everybody gets this. This is very exclusive. And what people will say is like, well, I don't want to play games, right? I don't want to play games. No one is making anybody play a game. If I think that every single human being in the world should have regular friends. Take a guy like Tai Lopez. Tai Lopez had his friend Zach who actually passed away. Um he hangs out regular with his grandmother. Ty happens to also hang out with his sister. Hangs out with his brother Ben. You'll never

see a You'll never see a man on Earth that has more old high school friends or old family friends than Tai. So Tai has a core group of friends that are his real friends. I don't think that Tai is trying to look like an AP watch to his brother Ben or to or to Maya. But Tai also networks Tai also had the Golden State Warriors come do the afterparty at his house after they won the championship. Um Tai has also networkked with some of the biggest people in the entire world. I promise you he you

know if Tai is trying to get the attention of somebody who has limited bandwidth right there's limited this is a person with limited bandwidth and everybody wants something from them he will understand how to network with that person who has limited bandwidth. So most of the stuff that we're talking about here, remember, you absolutely should have real family friends that you grew up you that you grew up with. You should have friends that you've been friends with for 20, 30, 40, 50 years. You should have you should have charity work that you do out in

public just helping random homeless people. You should have people that you have a non-transactional relationship with. I I think it's very important for everyone's core to have people who love you just for you. Not transactional and not performance-based at all. Not performance-based at all. You need real love. Like the love of a mother, the love of a father, the love of a brother, love of a sister, love of a friend. You have to have that in your life. But I think what people do is they take that realness and then they say, "Well, that's all

there is." But it's like, well, wait a minute. Like, would you like to be able to buy your kid organic food? Well, that's I mean, I have three kids. Buying them organic food is exceedingly expensive, but my kids are on a ski trip right now. I have staff that are because I'm busy this weekend doing this stuff with you. I have staff that take them on on a private ski trip, and they get private lessons. Do you want your children to have that? Um, for your kid to go to an Ivy League school, you're looking

about 65,000 bucks a year. Let's say they go to Columbia in New York City, you're probably looking another 10,000 bucks a month in rent or 5,000 bucks a month in rent if that's cheap. You're looking at about, I don't know, probably 150,000 a year for them to go to Columbia. That's $600,000. What if your kid comes to you and says, "Hey, mommy or daddy, I got into Ivy League school. I want to go to Harvard. I want to go to Columbia. I want to go to Yale." But they can't go because you couldn't pay for

them to go. What if your kid goes and gets cancer or some kind of childhood disease because you're feeding them McDonald's? What about the fact that you can't get them good tutors? Um, I'm very fortunate. My kids have traveled the entire country, multiple times over by car. They've skied almost every major ski resort. They have all sorts of tutors. They have the healthiest food. They're incredibly I also bring them up in front of audiences. We I get them doing public speaking. We've done very dangerous, challenging, but you know, we do it in a safe way.

Overnight hikes and things like that. They've hiked the Kalao Trail in Napolei Coast. They've hiked Eagle Creek in Oregon. They they've hiked the Harding Glacier in Alaska. They've done all this before they even turned 10. Well, do you want to be able to do this for your kids? Um, would you like to have a partner who you're generally attracted to, who you have a great physical, intimate bond with? Um, do you want to be able to take fancy supplements so that you can live an extra long life so that you can give more to other

people? Do you want to have base level value to give more to others? That takes things like money, status, and clout. I'm sorry to tell you that. So if you want to do even better for that core group that you're with and add more to them, make yourself strong. You see people that just get into charity, it's like you've got no charity to give my man or my woman. You know what I'm saying? Right? You got nothing to give, right? So you want to make yourself strong first while still doing nice things for other people

where you can, but build yourself up. So it's not that these little understandings of status should come into play with your core group. In fact, you should be able to let down your guard with your core group and have a really, really tight inner circle, but you should also have the awareness or knowledge of how to expand that circle. And by the way, last point I make is this. That same person that maybe you initially kind of pulled in can become a real friend. They don't know you. They have limited time. They have limited bandwidth,

right? That that beautiful woman who has a million guys in her DMs texting her h has limited bandwidth. She can't date all them. She certainly can't hook up with all of them. And if she did, you wouldn't even like her anymore. But how? But in many ways, once you might understand how to bring her in your life, then she can become literally your best friend in the entire world. And you can go from a performance-based relationship to a genuine relationship. Now, you're never 100% non-performance-based cuz you should still be like a good strong person, a

leader, but you could be a lot more real and a lot less transactional. So, you can get to that place, but it's not it's not from uh you just wishing for it and going, "Well, we should just have a connection." like you know like looking at the most like high status person or the most beautiful person go I pick you to be my new best friend you know you've got to know how to add value to them you've got you've got to add value and and as as you were saying this and uh when you

were saying about how you're sitting here on the balcony with millionaires and billionaires and how they just want to jam stuff down your throat like value I I was trying to understand like what would make them want to do because as soon as I met you it was instantly like we didn't even know each other but it was interestingly I don't know if you can think back when we first It was how fast we both trying to like throw the ball of value to each other. I was like, "Hey, I could do this for you."

He's like, "Oh, I can do this for you." "Well, how about we do this?" "Well, how about you do this?" And then it was that was like a game of uh and then like 1 hour later, we hung out here at your house all night long, you know? Um all night long, baby. And um yeah. Um but it's that that's that's the game that I play. uh not really the game cuz it's become so natural for me but I'll always think of what is it they that they might want that I have or I could

get access to I could just add value and someone asked me one time like why do you do it and the answer was because I can because my motive is uh when I'm networking with somebody if I can add value to you I will not because I want something but just because I can because I just believe in the law of the universe as well that like if I can add tremendous value to you I might not get something from you now but you know I live in a world where a lot of people give

me free [ __ ] all the time. Or like I I just stayed in Phoenix with friends. They're like, "Come stay at my whole house." I met this amazing guy. I don't if you know, Pace Morby. Uh I I met him for a few hours and he's like, "Dude, next time you're in Phoenix, come and stay with me." And I'm like, "This is so [ __ ] bizarre that some absolute stranger two hours ago." I was like, "Come and stay with me and my family." But then I'm like, "No, I live in a world where

that's actually normal because I give him value and then I'm going to train all of his community for free." And like we just live in this world. I I'm just trying to always think like, hey, I know someone I can connect you with or this person or, you know, and and I think that's last time I was actually at Tides, someone replied to my story and they're like, you should make a course on networking. I'm like, maybe I [ __ ] should actually. Uh because I'm like, but all I think about is what we were

talking actually about before is authenticity. I'm like, I leave with authenticity. I make sure that I I do what I say and I say what I do cuz I vibrate at a different level. Like you can meet someone you meet someone if they're authentic. You're like it's easy talking with you. Then you can meet someone who's a fraud, an imposter, they're wearing a mask that you know trying to be someone they're not and you know it. Um so I try to lead with authenticity and then I always just go from the baseline of going how

can I add just value to this person law of reciprocity. So they're probably just going to want to feel like giving something back to me. And I reckon that's what you do on the balcony here cuz you just talk about like cool stuff and the things you know and after a while some they're probably thinking like how can I help this guy? like he's just so giving. He hasn't asked me for anything. Everyone else asks me for [ __ ] all the time. Do you find it happens? Yeah. Yeah. That combined with um showing them

something that they crave, right? Which is like again like you said, real human connection. I mean, when you're famous or you're uh also as a as a beautiful woman, it's almost impossible to make a real friend. you it's virtually impossible to have a real friend because um you make friends with people and then they seem to be a real friend and then inevitably they do ask for something and uh you start to realize like oh and then often times the experience is that when they stop getting the thing that they wanted transactionally they flip on

you and they even [ __ ] talk you so it's one of these things where um uh when you can show genuine friendship that's very very powerful but I think that when you can show something that they like for example um if you're a little bit more socially free than them and they crave to be socially free, that is an added value to them. If you um are just enjoying life more than them, like I like I do a lot of vacations and I have a lot of fun and you better believe that whenever I'm

talking to a really really successful business person, that's the conversation is more likely to go to joking, talking to other people, having fun dating, having fun socializing, talking about places that I'm visiting and things like that. and then they're going to tend to go into their comfort zone, which is adding value by giving you businesses, right? I mean, same thing if you're talking to a woman. Um, you know, if you're just like, "You're so beautiful," but which everybody's doing, well, then you're playing into her frame. If you're just joking, having fun, you know, even even

talking about using your mind, right? If it if it's a girl who actually craves to use her mind more, um, you know, things like that, then now she is seeing something that she craves and that you represent that and then you can help her with that. Um, with me with public speaking, same thing, right? I'm showing public speaking at the front. Somebody who wants to learn to be a better public speaker is watching that and craving it. So, I think that it's like, like you said, it's the genuiness. It's the authenticity, but also I think

like, you know, you're a skydiver as an example. You're also a public speaker. You're also an international traveler. You're also highly intelligent. So, there's things that people also see in you beyond just the core authenticity, right? Cuz, you know, if somebody has no value to add at all and they're just like, well, I'm really myself and I'm homeless. A lot of homeless people are very authentic. It doesn't mean you're going to go live in a cardboard box. True. Um I as you said it actually I'm like where did that come from? A mentor said to

me a while ago actually because I I started in network marketing. That was my first like proper business we got started in. And what do you do in that industry? You got to talk to a lot of [ __ ] people. You talk to a lot of people about [ __ ] that they probably don't really want. They've already got preconceived ideas about it. You know what I mean? And one of the things he said to me, he's like, "Go and become just an interesting person." M he's like cuz if you go talk to somebody

and you've got nothing interest you you got nothing to talk about except your [ __ ] business I've already heard about you're not going to go anywhere but he's like but if if you can become an interesting person that has hobbies and I've traveled and done stuff you have multiple things to talk about and that's how I get my th my way through the world and one of my favorite actually lines which I want to talk about this next actually is um if and I say this with people when I when I train people in

leadership and sales and anything and connecting really is if you sit with me anywhere Okay. And you find me connect with a new person, the first thing I'm going to say to them is where are you from? Mhm. Right. Where are you from? Because I just want to understand, and this this comes down to one, I want to lock it in my head. For some reason, I like if I'm going to talk to you, I need to know where you came from or where you live. And it just sits in my head. I'm like, okay.

Um probably cuz then I go, "Oh, I got to know someone who lives there." But I'm always just trying to find common ground as fast as I can. And how I do that is so so if I had never been to LA and I meet you in Nashville and you're like oh I'm from LA I'm going to say oh no way I'm going to go I'm thinking about going there like where's the best place should I go where do I say what do I avoid because the one thing people love to talk about is where

they're from. They love it. Um or so I'll even say I've been there. That's amazing. I love this place. Or I'm thinking of going there. And people go what if you meet someone from Nigeria? You're thinking about going there. probably one one day I'll probably go there. Might not next week, not next month, but sometime. And that's always my my way in. Um but I'm curious to know like for this for someone sitting there wanting that line, that script, the whole pickup line. And we joked in as we started actually what was yours? What was

your pickup line? Tell them actually this any guys listen to this, they're going to love this one. They can take it. He had never heard this. I had never I loved it. for everyone else. And the real joke here is that he had never heard this. I'm still shanties over this. But it's uh are you from Tennessee? Because you're the OB10. Yeah, he he never that the real joke is he hadn't heard that one. I loved it. I love it. So So So give us the even though we know like lines like that. That one

could work actually. That's funny. But like for someone who's in that line, even though I don't I don't think it exists, but like how I said, I'm like what I'm always looking for first is just to find a connecting point of where they're from. So I want to know what's in your head as you go for the connection, whether it's a girl at the bar or the higher level CEO or some billionaire you want to connect with. What's your sort of go-to either line or frame or something you're trying to the angle you're approaching with?

Sure. So um the first thing I want to say is that I think it's your genuiness and your congruence behind saying where are you from that I think works for you. Okay. So um if you truly believe in what it is that you're saying and it resonates very very deeply with you there's almost like this kind of per perfect ting of authenticity like ting like a perfect authentic feel. So I think because you genuinely like asking that question it's very very genuine. I think that's why it's very very effective for you. Okay? And I think

you should keep doing it. I would also comment that um when you're really good socially, you could even walk up to someone without even talking at all. And if you're really really good at just managing your energy and you just look at them, they'll often start giggling and laughing and then go, "What's your name?" Right? And you could just make faces like and they're like, "What is this?" Well, you're not going to answer. You go and they're like, "What? Where do you come from?" And you're like, you just make little little faces. I mean, I've

I've kept that going for like beginning of an interaction all the way out to some crazy adventure. I mean, like, you know, you can really just keep doing that. It actually plays off off the principle that usually people can be trying to kind of try to screen you out. So, because you didn't talk, they you gave them nothing to screen you out with and they actually wind up proceeding with you. It's kind of a powerful concept. But, um, so regardless that something like not even talking at all or asking where you're from could be effective,

I could give people some other ones I think are great. Um, couple that I think are good. One is imitation. So for example, like if I look at you and I go, we're just just doing the same. So that was that was like a very like not even much of imitation. You know what I'm saying? Okay. So this is the this is a very minor imitation that we're doing, right? This is not like Jim Carrey the mask stuff, right? Like this is very very minor. It's like I'm I'm I'm going is this guy drunk? Yeah.

Yeah. Well, there you go. Right. So So but but an imitation an imitation people's in marketing we learned that everyone's favorite line is their own name. Yeah. Well, it's it's a patent interrupt, too. I think that's probably why it worked. that be like cuz what I've learned from one of my mentors is what gets passed down generations for our DNA is these things called scripts and we have hardwired scripts like things like we have to be in the tribe if with the tribe we're safe this is why the bandwagon effect exists they've even shown through

like things like the ash experiment if we have three peers in a group say one answer we'll agree with the other three answers even if we know the answer's wrong but we need three that's enough for us to jump on the bandwagon So that's a script that's been passed down because that kept our ancestors alive. If you're by yourself, you die. If you're with the group, you survive. But then there's other scripts that are But by the way, the more that you can break that and not be the person who would fall in that, the

more attractive you are. But yeah, keep going. So then there's other scripts that are formed. So let's say for example, so as a girl in a nightclub, you have a pre-amped script already for years of guys trying to approach you in a nightclub. So you're already anticipating probably what? So, a guy comes up, oh, hey, like, or where are you from? Or it's already like I'm it's familiar. It's I'm And she already has her preempted autopilot response. Same as you walk into a retail store and the first thing they say, can I help you with

anything? And you say, "No, thanks. Just looking." Then 2 minutes later, you go, "Oh, [ __ ] I actually needed help." Then you have this automatic response and you didn't even know about it. So, the patent interrupts changed that script because they weren't expecting that. So, so the you you actually nailed it. Yeah. Mhm. Actually, that's why I wouldn't personally start with where you from, but I like it for you because you believe in it. It's the first angle, but I'm not going to walk out and be like, "Where are you from?" Cuz then she's

like, "The fuck." I'm going to open something first as we're sort of breaking in. It's like first 30 seconds. I'm like, "Where are you from? You're not from here. I just want to understand." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, so you're it's it's your cap because you believe in it and because you roll off it onto the next thing, it's good for you. For me, um, I specifically don't do that for the exact reason that you just said, which is that it's a little bit autopilot. So, for me, um, imitation, I think, works at a level that

it's a pattern interrupt, as you said, 100%. What I'd add to that is that, um, in market coding, we learned that everyone's favorite word is their own name or the word you. So, whenever I'm doing a sales ad, for example, I'll say the word you, you, you, you. Or if it's directly the person, I'll say their name. Now, if you're if you're imitating somebody, that imitation could be a 2 out of 10, but because it's about them specifically, it will amplify that to a 10 out of 10. So, I could do an imitation that literally

is like barely funny. You know, I could be like, "Hey, I'm Morgan." But if I just do that like like that's like like I'm actually doing like not even good, right? Like, I'm Morgan Nelson. Yeah. Yeah. Kiwi, right? Like, right? Like like I'm Morgan Nelson, Koala. And like Like just because I did that, you know what I mean, right? Like you know like like like you're in Brazil like like I'm be I eat asai. I like an asai bowl. Like that's not even good. You're Brazilian. Yeah. I eat a like I eat [Music] a like

that's not even hurt what she even does at all. But if I just say something as an as an imitation, you know, like people will will laugh cuz it's so personal. It's so personal. So that's why I like imitation. Um, another one that I like is uh yeah like like I can l like I can literally like like I'm beia I'm from Brazil so I got the kind of right and she'll just be like oh my god right like it's not even like good but you know just cuz it's it's about the person uh you

know the laugh and I'm not exempt from it too right everybody you know could do it. hard to take me either. So, it's um imagining guys now going out to a nightclub going like, "Oh, Cook said that." Yeah. And they're walking up to a girl and they go, "Where you from?" Combining what we think. So, where you from? Brazil. Oh, you're from Brazil. And then the girl just goes, but then you can imitate that. So, you go, I can imitate that. You're like, "Fuck, I missed something there." Look how dumb you could go, right? Like

I could be like I could be like like oh I'm Olga Nelson. Hey I got a shrimp on the Bobby. I'm a kangaroo. Boing boing boing boing boing. And like just because it's about you it's like you'll just start laughing at it because it amplifies it because it's about you. So it's so directly in your face that it sort of it makes it sound louder you know in your you know in your mind right like like I'm Morgan I jump from a plane and like just cuz it's about you it will it'll be effective right?

So I do a lot of imitation like off the jump. Um, I think imitation is amazing. It it als it's also not needy, right? It's also very self- amuseed. Um, imitating. Yeah. It's it's amazing. And the other one would be um talking about their dynamic, right? So, who's the boss? Who's the more cocky one? Who's the more shy one? You ever So, if they're with a friend or something. Yeah. And and they usually are, right? So, if you've ever seen like those TikToks where they where like they both like the two people close their eyes

like, "Who's the shy one? Who's the funny one? Who's the crazy one? Who's the needy one?" And they're like, "Yeah." You know, they're doing it like that's amazing. like anything about their dynamic is is incredible. Um, you know, saying, "Are you guys best friends? You guys have the exact same facial expressions." Then they look at each other and when they look at each other, they they they uh have the same facial expression. Then they start they go into a reverberation laughing. You could even joke that like, "Oh, you guys keep looking at each other to

like validate everything that we're talking about, which the girls, you know, they'll keep doing that a lot." And then you could even joke that uh you should put a little mirror on your shoulder for when she's not there. And then you could just look at the mirror on your shoulder and then they'll start laughing at that. um you know uh you make facial expressions uh you know like a good person face bad person mannerisms I don't know what to think of you so anything that shows that you're like think they're kind of cool but you're

not sure is really good and and so if you're so now now let's flip it to if you're speaking to a high level person you're probably not going to go imitate that guy um actually I I've actually had a lot of cases I mean I can tell you even much much crazier stuff when I've been around high level people where I have done that specifically to avoid feeding into the frame like I actually do think that sometimes like in any way, shape, or form. Acknowledging someone's frame who is not going to give you attention is

a losing battle. Like, if they're like, "You make this much, they make this much. They don't have a reason to talk to you." In what way is acknowledging their frame at all ever going to help you? I don't acknowledge any frame that I can't win in that frame. If it's with if there's a status uh imbalance, I don't I just don't see the point. Okay? Like, I don't like, oh, hi, I am Owen. I run a coaching thing. You are mega billionaire, but I'm like a good coach. I'm like a fun little guy. Walka walka.

Like I just don't see the purpose of it. Um so it's like if I can't if I can't win then why am I going to acknowledge that friend? There's no point. Like what am I going to get out of that? Right? So um and so I've done business networking at very high levels and um often if anything what I'm likely to do is like you know maybe go meet some girls kind of you know if the guy's single kind of bring them over uh kind of joke with them not make it a big deal. Um

network the whole place. Like why would I feed any framework where where I don't have something that they're chasing because they have limited bandwidth. again, is it a genuine friendship? Like like you and I have known each other a while, right? So I'm not I'm not doing this when I'm talking to you. But if it's someone who I don't know and they have very very limited bandwidth and everyone's trying to get their attention and literally their main job at this point is screening that I'm not going to give them something to screen me with. I'm

going to try to provide something they haven't seen. I'm thinking of an angle of some kind. I'm not just like just just throwing up the white flag going like, "Hello there. I'm another little guy that wants something." Haha. Like I just don't see how that helps anything from my point of view. I' I'd rather swing for the fences, have them be like, "What? That's weird." than just be the next person that just does the exact same thing. Okay. So, let's say we I've been taking some of this advice. I'm going out there and I I'm

practicing. I'm actually like breaking the mold. I'm where I start to actually I I when I got into this, I every single person I talk to, I'd strike up a conversation, not to get anything, but just to build the habit. I'd be they'd be doing my groceries at the store and I'm properly trying to connect with them. I understand their life, understand how long they've been there for no other reason, but just to build the habit. So, let's say this person's been out there and they're doing things like this. They're going out there trying to

talk to 50 people in a night or a day or whatever, going networking events, trying to not be weird and doing their thing, and they want to take their influence to the next level. Now, where should they start? Like, should they throw parties? Should they th make their own mastermind group? Like, what's your event? Oh, I mean I I think that's amazing. All all of the above that you just said is incredible, particularly because at a party, the frame is that you're the person in demand. Um at a at a mastermind, you're the person in

demand. So again, um when I'm with everyone who who you see here, there's a bunch of people behind the cameras over here that I'm hanging out with. I'm not like to be their friend, I need a mastermind and a party and a an invitation. Like I'm not thinking like that. These are my real friends. But if you're talking about people where there's a status imbalance, they have more status than you. Um, anything that you could do to flip the script on that is incredibly powerful. Uh, a big one, too, is when you do a party,

a lot of people will flake. They're not initially going to show up. So, if you can have a good Instagram story of it, um, that, you know, if they see it two or three times, they're more likely to eventually come. I know when I get invited to a party, I also have limited bandwidth. I'm a social media influencer, 22-year teacher. So, the chances of me going to almost anything on the first invite is very, very low. You know, Luca, you're talking to me about going to this thing in Vegas. If I don't wind up going,

you better believe I'll probably look at your Instagram story. Feel incredibly stupid. What's the thing that you want to go to in uh Vegas? What's it called again? Funnel hackers. Funnel hackers, right? We'll get you there. Yeah. So, maybe I'll get there, right? So, we're working on it. But yeah, but say that say for example that like I don't wind up going. I look at your story, I'm like, "Oh man, I should have gone there. I'm frustrated." Well, now next time I'm more likely to take an invitation. I'll try to get there, guys, but I'm

just making the point like, you know, so having a great story, I think, is also good. Um, so like I think that you can meet someone and not have like a great thing to invite them to and that's fine and I think that that can go well, but that's going to be primarily personality driven and chemistry driven. Whereas when you have like a really cool invite, like say that you cultivated a party, a mastermind, some little club or something or maybe having access to other stuff. Um, now what you have is a position where you

can invite people out and they're going to see you in a very favorable light because you're inviting them to a place that you have authority. Um, I do free events all over the I I do free events in in almost every major city. Um you know, our biggest ones are like, you know, LA, New York, Chicago, San Francisco, Miami, Austin, Boston, DC, Seattle. I mean, we're everywhere. We're everywhere. Um well, part of the selfish reasons that I do completely free events is you don't even have to do any fancy sales techniques. When people come into

your environment and you're blowing everybody's mind and you're doing completely for free, they're going to really look up to you and they're going to want to further their involvement with you. You know what I used to do? Um I used to throw Sunday fundays when I was really in a phase of networking super hard for my business. I actually found it played uh it um it was super perfect for everything cuz when I was single um I didn't want to waste time chatting up girls. I didn't I didn't I didn't want to go out to

bars anymore. I it was just such a waste of my time. So I was like how can I do both at the exact same time? And I used to throw Sunday fundays. So, every single Sunday, no sorry, it was once a month. Sundays, we would do it every single week. Then I was got too much. So, once a month, we throw a Sunday funny. We had a Facebook group for it. It was [ __ ] awesome. Um, and we used to just do some cool ass [ __ ] that would include everybody. So, no matter

where I was at any day during that month, I had something to chat to them about and a reason to connect online, to get contact numbers. So, if I was at a restaurant or if I was at a networking party, if I meet a new cool person, I'm like, "You just moved here? Hey, let me Facebook. you have to come to the Sunday funday and then like I run the whole thing because it's this thing coming up. there was always a thing coming up that I could invite them to. Mhm. And and so it worked

actually both ways with just new business contacts. And when I was single, I was like, "Oh, it's, you know, kill two birds, one stone. I'm going to do this one awesome networking thing once a month. I'm the man running it." So, I'm having business contacts. I'd have my team bring people. So, and then it would work cuz then the women would be like, "Who the [ __ ] is this guy? He's like the boss of this town." And remember Gary Visa one time, he's like, "Become the mayor of your own city." just like becoming that

networker and and that was the game for me. Did you ever run anything like that or do you still do my whole adult life? I think you should absolutely do it. Look, if I happen to be in Miami for a weekend, I don't need to have a networking function to invite people to to meet somebody. I'm not saying that I need it, but I'd also say that if it's your home city, stop being lazy. And as you said, there's always the next thing that you're inviting people to. Um, look, you know, if I do a

party up here, we do some of the best parties in LA up here, right? I I used to do parties with my buddy uh Big Mike. Uh some of those parties were as high as half a million dollars per party um to host. Yeah. I mean there we're competing with Hugh Hefner for best uh party in all of Los Angeles. Mike run a company called Advanced Nutrients and um he makes hundreds of millions of dollars and yeah it was just absolutely freaking crazy. Um he put these things on. I me and him were living together

for a long time. So the thing is like um we've always done monster enormous parties. We we've done small little gettogethers like little kickbacks and stuff like that. I've done them in in, you know, places like this with the big view in the Hollywood Hills, but I've also done them in small apartments, things like that. Anywhere that you can get it where you're the guest of honor, you know what it also shows people? It shows that you're not just some lazy piece of crap. It's like you're not just and I'm not saying that anyone doesn't

do a price piece of crap. I'm just making the point like the the average person isn't doing anything. So if you could just quickly make your sound out like like at a certain point people like the bar has been set so low in society in general that if you're just doing anything people like he's doing something she's doing something like it's just like there's just something happening here right which like like it doesn't even take much to separate from the pack because the pack is operating at such a coping based level and a takerbased level.

Yeah. Okay. So let's say I'm completely fed up with where I am in my life. The results I'm getting I'm stagnant. I can't hold a relationship. Uh, I got no great people around me. I'm a [ __ ] gamer. All this [ __ ] just aka 80% of men today modern society who have no stake in it whatsoever and I'm completely given up. Yes. So, I'm not going anywhere. Uh, I'm living on autopilot, but I'm really ready now. Like, I'm dead set ready. You said at the start, I'd like to work with people who are

absolutely [ __ ] committed and ready to go. So, I'm I'm that person now. I'm like, I've I've had enough of this [ __ ] I'm not ready. Give us the blueprint. Like, what are what are the steps? What is if if this is me right now? I'm saying, "Okay, Owen, I'm [ __ ] ready. My life's a mess. I got hardly any money. No girl will will hang around me. You know, I got all these friends that have been my friends for ages. I'm pretty sure if I stop gaming with them every weekend, they

won't even be my friends. What do I do?" Okay, the first thing I'd say, and I genuinely mean this, is is while I am still doing free events, get out to a free event because you're going to meet other people at free events that are in the same boat as you and then want to take action. So whether it's through your networking groups, my networking groups, any networking group, get around other people because you become who you hang out with. That's the first step. Okay? Got to do it. Like just get around better people. Um

the second thing that I would recommend to them is realize that you've been the victim of um very very bad propaganda. In other words, um a lot of people don't fully understand this, but countries in this day and age don't usually engage in what's called a hot war. They engage in uh information war, which is basically can we put propaganda into the public to turn them into victims. Uh to make them to make them hate their own country, to make them lazy, um you know, to get it to where, you know, the average woman no

longer likes the average man, which then means that the average man no longer has a stake in modern society, right? Because if if if the average woman no longer likes the average man, the average man no longer has a stake in society, which means that he's going to completely give up. And then from there he's going to go from a thriving based attempt at life to a coping based attempt at life just numbing and medicating themselves. Um, you know, if you look at the food and the food supply, um, big pharma, uh, the way that

the education system is set up, um, even just like, you know, big lights being put everywhere in the middle of the night and not getting a deep sleep, not taking probiotics, like like all these different things and and you know, our understanding of these things is is only developing further and further and further are hurting us, right? You know, things like uh media that shifts every sec, seven seconds instead of like having to have extended focus, not reading long books anymore. um the fact that they can get some approximation of sex from porn even though

it's like nothing compared to sex but people could just take it as like a slave rule. Um I I personally just and I think a lot of your audience will disagree this a lot but I personally think marijuana like literally is like the devil's lettuce like and and I say that I I only say that well I think a lot of people have a different opinion and I respect different opinions but I would say that because it's not that bad and the problem is it's not that bad and so you never stop smoking it although

Dr. Aean has shown that it does hurt your brain. Um change your brain change your life look up Dr. I mean, he shows the scans of all these different drugs and what it does, but the point is like it's so tempting to just get in that loop where you just kind of smoke every day and it just kind of numbs you out. Like the whole point of life is that you should get angry, you should get pissed off. Like if you're stuck in that position like you know uh levels of energy by Fred Dodson is

a great book or uh power versus force by David R. Hawkings, a great book. What you know the lowest level is apathy. Above that, you know, a little bit above that is anger. You're supposed to look at your life and if your life looks like that, like you should be extremely pissed off. you should be extremely angry and that anger should begin to focus the mind and push you in towards um you know having a sense of will having you know tapping more into love and peace of enlightenment later but for now you should just

be freaking pissed off so I would say that you don't realize that you've been at the at the receiving end of everything from a depopulation agenda to an agenda that's designed to implode the west to um you know horrible social conditioning that's designed to make you not even feel like you have a stake in the future of society at all not even feeling optimistic about having children or a family It's meant to demoralize you. It's meant to It's meant to make you want to self-medicate. It's meant to make you hate your own country. It's meant

to make you hate your heritage. And you know, I think that you have to realize like it is a propaganda war. And you know, your enemy, like your enemies that hate you, rather than coming in and shooting you or putting a nuke on you, they're just brainwashing you. So realize and and look up uh who's the main guy that talks about that that's so famous? Um Yuri Bezboff. Um y I bzonghov. And look at he literally he's a a Soviet KGB defector. And he explains like, you know, like KGB agents, not like James Bond where

they're running around shooting people in like a spy mission. They're just using uh pollution in the information to demoralize the country. And he he he basically characterizes what America will look like by 2020 uh 30 years earlier and and what they're going to do right now. It's no longer Russia doing the bulk of that, although they may do some um but a lot of it is is other enemies that are doing that. So, just realize like that apathy, you've been brainwashed. Okay? If you think that you're a victim, you've been brainwashed. Um, if you think

that you don't have power or agency, you've been brainwashed. If you're spaced out and don't and feel demoralized, you've been brainwashed. You basically have been tricked. You've been completely duped. You don't realize your power. You have incredible power. You have incredible potential. Human beings have incredible unlocks that can happen in their brain that just unlock huge different capacities. Um, for example, I haven't been sick in 13 years. Look, I look, one of the biggest things that will get you canceled in the world is talking about natural health. So, I don't talk about natural health. You

want to talk about getting mega canceled talk about anything other than big pharma. So, I don't talk about I don't teach it. I don't make money from it, but I haven't been sick in 13 years. I'll probably never get sick again. I happen to believe anecdotally, not with a double blind study, that that is possible for almost anybody, but I don't teach it because you're not allowed to. But that's also part of that larger agenda. So, just realize that um you know, not making a medical claim or giving medical advice here, okay? Okay. Go see

your doctor, get prescribed antibiotic, I guess. But you see my point. So there's we also don't learn about spiritual growth. Um you know we've been turned off of Christianity. We've been turned off of of uh even things like echartole or other sources of of wisdom that would give us enlightenment or or would give us peace or help us to become present in the moment. Not trapped in our head. There's so much that we've been deprived of. You've got to start you've got to get around the right people and you've got to start getting replugged back

into that. Get out into freaking nature. Start doing that kind of stuff and wake up. That's going to bring you back your passion, um, your energy, your vitality, your your will for life, not being demoralized. It's going to start to unlock parts of your brain. The average person doesn't realize how deeply unconscious they are. They think everybody else is unconscious. Start to realize that you're unconscious. I assume that I'm unconscious. And I've done this work for decades. I assume that I'm unconscious. So, um, you know, you've got to get back to become a sentient being,

not just on autopilot. Look up things like the Mgrim experiment. You ever seen the Mgrim experiment? One of my favorites. Yeah. Have you ever talked about on your channel? Yeah. Okay. as you talk about that. Okay. The the short version being that you should always repeat it though because there'll be people who haven't seen it. So repeat it. Yeah. So a after after Hitler got all these people do these horrifying acts during uh World War II. They're wondering, well, how was it possible that people were convinced to do, you know, to become these bad guys.

So what they do is they u they they've got this guy in a white lab coat. They'll pull people off the street and they'll say, we're going to electrocute this guy over here. We're going to turn up the nozzle, but uh don't worry. Uh he'll be fine. Right? And if someone just in in a lab code who has authority just says turn up the nozzle a bit, people will keep turning it up while the person in the room who's an actor is pretending to die and you scream like I'm dying. Right? And they're like and

the people will say uh I don't think I should turn the nozzle anymore. And then the guy in the white lab coat who has authority cuz he has an outfit just goes, "No, don't worry, bro. Part of the experiment, bro. Please continue the experiment. Continue." And they do it until they basically kill somebody. So 100% of people within less than 1 hour went past 250 volts which is enough to kill somebody and they knew about it as well. Yes. So they told them at the start so this machine goes to 400 volts 250 volts is

enough to kill somebody and if they asked them before if you ask a random person do you think I could convince you to kill somebody within an hour? Um like that wasn't threatening you or your family everyone like no I wouldn't kill somebody. Well, all they've done hundreds of this versions. Every single time 100% of people go past 250 and about 63% will go all the way at 400 volt even after there's no consciousness on the other end. Yeah. And and you know, you're from Australia. You watch during 2020 is people that are just out

surfing are getting arrested. So, you know, so the point is is that like people just believe this crap. The authority bias. Yes. The authority bias. And like and you know, look, I look I'm a little bit naughty, right? And sometimes I like to shoot videos, you know, in like maybe like some like really cool building that's like beautiful to shoot a video in, but I'm not really supposed to be shooting a video there. And in most cases, um, you know, the the security will come up to me like like, "Hey, you can't shoot here." And

if I just look at them confidently and go, "No, I can." 99 times out of 100, they just go, "Okay." But one time out of 100, bro, the I'll be like, "No, I can't." The security will look at me and go, "Uh, no, you can't." Like, "Are you crazy?" And I'm like, "Good for you, bro. You're the guy that wouldn't have electrocuted someone and killed someone cuz you could think for yourself." So there's like a couple people that are like that. That's why we need a human awakening project like like we need a bigger larger

scale human awakening project. Otherwise things like 2020 are going to keep happening because that showed what is what you know what happens when we're in deep group think. So what I would say is that um that would be the first step to just like having that epiphany that like going out and meeting people and socializing. It's not just about getting better social results and like you know getting people to like you. It's a larger u quest that you're on about really discovering who you are, what your potential is, waking up, not being demoralized, um you

know, believing in your future and and wanting to share good vibes. Like like it's a general under underlying frame that's there and an overarching principle and premise that like life can be cool, you do have value to offer, you can understand social dynamics, you have the capacity to and you can crush it. Then from there, what I would say is, you know, figure out where the best venues that the best social gatherings in your town are. Now, look, maybe it's at night time and people are out, you know, get a little crazy or partying, whatever.

Well, just go at least say hi to them because there's a high volume of people there. Go talk to people like you said also u you know, build some kind of a party. Now, obviously that's harder when no one wants to go to your party. So, maybe it starts small. Start posting about on social media. Start doing that. But just get a lot of time in with talking to other people and try to get up on stages as much as you can and work on public speaking. Make little local groups and and do public speaking

workshops just on your own. We we have all these free groups all over the world where people just go and meet up with each other. They just work on public speaking or they just work on social skills. So you you have to make a decision to do this as a part of a larger quest that you're on. Yeah. I want to know what's what's been your biggest like meltdown or setback, biggest challenge you've gone through in your career and how did you move through that? I would say um the single hardest part for me in

my career that like I've struggled with is I have been able to see a side of human nature that I never wanted to see and that I feel that most people shouldn't be exposed to. And that's why I believe so much in Christianity because it's it's a it's a spirituality of forgiveness. Um but the base level thing that I understand is this that a lot of people don't want to understand. Okay. So if you look up this topic uh look up RA which is reticular activation system. Okay that is your selective focus. And what the

mind is doing is is is it's always reframing and deleting and distorting things. It's doing it all the time. You got to be aware that you're doing it. Everybody's doing it. So if you like somebody, okay, if you see them as having value, your brain will erase their bad characteristics and it will overamplify their good characteristics. Okay? But if you dislike someone, if they don't have value to you, the mind will overamplify bad characteristics and and it will uh erase the good characteristics, right? So, you might have been in a relationship at some point in

your life and maybe you had a in your case a girl, but it could be a girl watching this that had had a boyfriend or husband and let's say that your ex like love you to death like she was in love with you. You are my everything. I love you all that. And at that point that she met you, you had a lot of value in her eyes. Well, then let's say that over time, you know, you started bickering and you and you you were like you you just gradually became deped. you know, you you

know, in in her eyes, you know, initially she viewed you as someone whose time is scarce. She's lucky to get your time. It's kind of an exciting thing for her. It's a big deal. But then over time, you become very common place. Familiarity breathes contempt. Um, she couldn't see you in the same way that other people who don't have access to you see you. It's almost like owning a nice wash, like, you know, a nice car. At first, you get it, you're excited about it, but by the time that you own it, you're kind of

bored of it. So, now you you kind of get depeted. And and I think this can happen to women or men. Well, what will often happen is that, you know, say that your girl wants to leave you. Rather than just saying, you know what, like I'm just over this, but I still do love you and I still care about you. Often times what happens is they feel guilty about it. So they do what's called an flip and they will forget about all the good things that happen and they will overemphasize anything bad. So you could

have done a thousand good things and five things that you regret, but all their mind will do is loop on the things that you regret. That's all their mind will do. Whereas before you could have not even necessarily even been that nice, but if you had the value, they would focus in on just a couple good things you did, right? That's why the joke, you know, some people will joke that women like [ __ ] an example, right? And that joke comes from the fact that that guy's a lot of value, even if he's a

big jerk, but you know, he like winked at a baby once 6 months ago. It's like he wked at a baby, right? It's like they they focus on that one thing, they ignore all the other bad stuff. So the same thing goes with attraction as goes with money as well where if somebody could benefit from ripping you off or if somebody could benefit from scamming you or backstabbing you they'll us the human mind is built in a way where they it will generate an RS flip and it will make the person justify doing it. So

every single person that's stolen from you probably thought that you were the bad guy and they were actually writing a wrong in order to steal from you. Every single person that's ever cheated on you thought that you were being the bad guy and that it was just good to cheat on you. But in reality, it was actually selfishly beneficial to them. So the hard thing, I think, in learning social skills is the realization that if you don't have value to somebody in a case where the relationship is somewhat transactional, their perception of you is changing

and the relationship is truly not genuine. And that is where you'll begin to sort of fetishize any kind of genuine connection with somebody who's not just on autopilot, but somebody who's actually sentient. meeting other people that are not just on autopilot. Not the kind of people that would turn the nozzle in the Mgrim experiment, but actually real sentient people who are actually generally present and actually appreciate you, not for what they're getting from you, but because they they say, "You know what? We live in this really empty galaxy. There's another sentient human being and they

see what values you have and they get to know you and and they actually choose to extend their sense of self to include you in that circle of concerns." concerns like they're concerned about themselves and now they're concerned about you, not because of performance, but because of who you actually are. That's a beautiful place to get to. The hard part is that as you get better at bringing people in transactionally, um you'll have the epiphany that wait a minute, be careful what you're bargaining for. You know, be careful what it is that you're doing because

you are surrounding yourself with people that are kind of just getting value from you. And that's not necessarily like a genuine relationship, but the way that it will be framed is like it is like on the surface it will look very very genuine. Like it looks okay like I'll be I'll be real with you here, okay? I can't tell you how many times my career has been up and down and like in the same way that me and you are hanging out now like we we've been you know we've done some great dinners together, we've

hung out at our parties together, we've had a great time. I've had many situations where you know when I'm on top, everybody wants to go do that. But then and I'm sure that you've experienced this as well in your life in your career too. But when you're at the bottom, you know, say that you have like you know some bad media articles come out or people lie about you or um you know your business kind of falls off for a bit or you have a hard time and it's amazing how empty those phones go, bro.

M and you know or or your girl leaves you or you know things like that and you go wow like I'm really discovering who actually cared about me and who didn't and it's it's very eye opening because I had had a lot of ups and downs. I've got to separate the wheat from the chaff and seeing who those people are. Now, the the problem what a lot of people do is they hear this and then they want to kind of throw out the baby at the bath water and they say, "Well, if that's the case,

then I'm just only being around people who like me for the real me and you know, and stuff like that and they don't even try to learn any social skills." But then basically what winds up happening is just like you and your one knucklehead friend like living in your basement, you know, right? because because you're not because you have to realize that initially people um when you reach out to them especially people with low bandwidth and who have a lot going on it may be a little bit more transactional but over time um it can

become genuine as you progress right but it's almost like as if uh you know you went to see a movie initially you just looked at the poster you don't know much about it you looked at the preview but later you actually it actually becomes your favorite movie in the world so I think like that's the that's probably the hardest part about learning social skills is learning where that line is of somebody who just likes you because of the dynamic that you create or something they want versus somebody who actually cares about you as a person.

And then not being bitter just because you have a more transactional friendships or relationships because you can actually benefit from those two. I I have plenty of friends who like, you know, we don't sit there crying in each other's arms all night, but I gain value from them, they gain value from me. But see, I understand that that's more transactional. So, I understand how to approach that situation, which basically I just think add value to them, they add value to me, it's win-win. and and as long as I know that that's the kind of relationship

that it is, I'm going to appreciate it for what it is and and I might even like that person, but just recognize that maybe we just don't have the time to build a real friendship right now, you know, or maybe they're not they don't have the capacity for it, but there's still a good exchange. And then from there, you're looking for those very very rare people that you might have a genuine connection with. And over time, you could find that. And I think that every guy, if he wants to have children with a woman or

girl want to have children with a guy, you should try to seek that out. And I'd say also that if you have uh genuine friends like that, you should surround yourself with people like that. But don't be so stubborn that you're like, "No, I refuse to learn any kind of social skills because I'm going to get used." It's like, "No one's trying to use you. Relax. Take it easy, Tiger. Like, no one's trying to use you right now." But at the same So, you know, so learning how to have those social skills, but then distinguishing

like, yes, I'm bringing a ton of new people in my life, but you know, they're kind of there for a reason at this point. And and knowing who is who. All right. So, to almost bring us to a close, I'm going to ask you both the exact same question. Who should answer first? Uh, her. All right. The So, what is one thing that you really wish men today started doing and did more of something that they could probably even take action immediately? Okay, that's a great question. So I would just spoke and they a lot

of men out there are too focused on men gaining approval gaining approval from um the outside right when I think that what's truly important is building up who you are as a person. So Owen mentioned this earlier. If you can get out into nature, if you can get out and uh work on your your uh social skills, whether that be like what you mentioned earlier, like going to the grocery store and just interacting with people at the grocery store, not trying to get something out of them, but just trying to build up your experience. If

you can do that, if you can start reading, actually gain some knowledge, um, not with the intention of gaining something out of that woman that you approach, but with the intention of adding some kind of value to her life. If you can become valuable within yourself as a person and then approach somebody, I can assure you they're going to feel that. They're going to recognize that. And even if you don't have a particular like um relationship that goes to a more intimate space with that individual, at least you've already formed a sense of value that

they can sense within you. And you you could go so far just with that. You know, I think that that is something that um a lot of men are lacking now is that understanding. Awesome. Yeah. Cool. All right. Owen, what's one thing that you wish more men either were aware of or did and could preferably start doing immediately? I think that people are looking for any excuse in the world to avoid going to say hi to somebody. Going to just say hi to someone. Yeah, they will. Even this interview, you'll see people that are, you

know, having some crazy negative reaction and maybe it was something valid, you know, certainly could be. I'm not perfect, but more so they're just afraid to go talk to somebody. So, people will make any excuse in the world to avoid just saying hi. And on the other side of high is all the glory. Okay? The the kind of adventures that you could have, the kind of money that you could make, the kind of connections that you could could experience, the kind the kind of amazing opportunities that open up to you occur when you're willing to

put yourself out there. So, what I would just say is be willing to put yourself out there. Stop being so focused on what you're going to lose, like the hit to your ego if it doesn't go well, and focus more on what the amazing things that happen on the other side of that process. Amazing. All right. So, where can everybody find you on social media and come maybe even come along to one of your events if they're out here in America? What what I say is I put out um several hour long videos that have

a a lot of budget put into them and money put into them, all for free on YouTube. So, go to Owen Cook. Go and cook self-help. Go and cook free tour. Just go and watch. Just start watching. Okay. Um but likewise, yeah, we do do free events. Um I do them all over the states. My team does them all over the world. Um selfhelpfreeour.com is a great place to find that. Just look in the links of my videos, you'll find it. And those are several day free events. Um people cry at these things like cried

their eyes out because they have incredible transformation. And it's something that if you just come and experience and actually network with the other people there, you get such an incredible family type environment. Uh it's a beautiful thing. Awesome. Okay, final question for you. If you were to go back to your 18-year-old self and give him 30 seconds of advice, what would it be? Start saying hi to people right now. Go. Just start. Just start.