Michelle Obama has advice for girl's battling self-doubt

I wanted to ask you, Mr. Obama, you know, so many women struggle with self-doubt, do you? And if you do.

How do you push past it? Mm hmm. I talk about this all the time, especially with the young girls I meet, because they look at people like us in these positions.

And they think, well, you must have been born into that place, which is the 11 of the reasons why when I meet with young girls, I don't care where in the world it is. I don't want them to know. Michelle Obama, the former first lady.

I want them to know. Michelle Obama, that girl from the Southside of Chicago. I want to break down that that wall of impossibility to let them know that I am them and they are me.

And yes, every other moment I feel self-doubt because when you and Sissi he intentionally does that to women and girls, it starts at a very early age. We are. We question our value, our worth.

We question how we look how we talk, where we're from. They are people with power who want us to stay small. They want us to stay doubtful.

And so our cultures reinforce that. So the one thing I want young girls to understand is that those feelings are real. They are not crazy.

They are they they are indoctrinated in us all. And we carry them around with us our entire lives. And I don't care how far you go, whether you go to the White House, you are constantly batting away.

Those negative messages are being not enough. And yes, I deal with that to and I don't want young women, young girls to get ahead of themselves to think that they have to fix it all now in order to break the cycles of negativity, you got to get up every day and do the work right before you. That means getting your education when the opportunity presents itself.

And then focusing on that, doing the work, doing your homework, getting to the next stage in life. Because if you take those small steps over time, you build up a lifetime of another story for yourself. No one can do that for you.

You have to look over your life. And we as women sometimes feel like we have to have done everything right before we can take credit for the things that we have done. But there is power and what we do every day.

And I have to remind myself of that every single moment. But now that I'm older, I can now look back and say, yeah, I am worthy. I have value, but is not because I'm sitting here.

I had that value when I was three, when I was five, when I was seven, when I was 12. And for the young girls out there, you have it now you just have to take the time to realize it and be patient with yourself as you do it. Because the process takes a lifetime takes a lifetime.

I am trippin right now that you just said that you deal with self-doubt all the time, like somehow that didn't seem to right in the back. Write back there. Me too.

Right back there I was like, Don't trip, don't follow me. Don't I? The same the same things Amal and I were like, What are you wearing?

Is this color right? Well, this be stupid to be doing this work with you and also, what are you wearing? So what do you do, Amal, when self-doubt attacks you?

Because that's what it feels like, right? It kind of feels like an attack. I don't know.

I mean, I think I get super charged by the people I love and just having an amazing family and friendships and, you know, now two kids who are kind of looking up at you expecting you to have all the answers. And if it's put a fine point on why we're doing all of this, you know, and I think it's I imagine them kind of and they're only five, so they're not quite on top of current events. Yeah.

And if you don't believe that, I bet you they know more than most people. Well, actually, my son drew a picture the other day of a prison, and he was like, Putin should be in here. And I was like, oh, my goodness.

Maybe I went a little I didn't know anyone. I don't know what he overheard, but I am working on Ukraine now. I you know, but I do think about in a few years when maybe five or more when they sort of start to learn about some of these issues that we're talking about and what's happening in the world.

And, you know, when they ask us, what did you do about this? What did you say about that? You know, what will my answer be?

And I, I hope it will be a good one. I think it's important to tell all girls that you can be whatever you want to be. You can be a mom and a working mom or a working woman and not a mom or mom and stay home like all of these choices are.

Okay. And guess what? You can also get it wrong with your kids.

So same thing. My kids my daughter was five my oldest, and she told her doll to lay down because it had HIV aids and she needed to take care of it. And I thought, oh, my God, I've gone way too far on my work.

No, prison drawings? No. I have one question that I'd like you all to answer because I thought this is a brilliant idea.

So the Girls Opportunity Alliance asked girls to write to their 25 year old self. And since we are so young, I'm going to ask you to reverse that. What would you and I'll start here with you, Melinda, what would you tell your 25 year old self now that you've lived a life I would say life is even more beautiful ahead than you realize.

And I would say to my 25 year old self, you knew in high school who you were and you let go of some of that for lots of reasons. People, situations, college people around you, you knew who you were and once you learn to re be the girl you were in high school is when you grew into the full woman that you could be. Boom Mr.

Obama, that part just simply what I would tell myself, you are good enough, you are valued, you are worthy, your story matters, your voice matters. You will do the great things that you know you can do. There was something that struck a chord.

It's like we all knew who we were when we were little. We knew our power. Then it was just second guessed.

So I would tell myself to follow that instinct that pay attention to that flame in you because it is real and keep it fueled. And don't let anybody try to blow it out because you're going to need it. Once you in.

It's so inspiring to hear Mr. Obama and Melinda Gates share about what they would tell themselves in their 25 years old. I think the best thing I would say is if there's nothing, if there's something good that someone can be put to invest on and has the best interest in this world is knowledge and let's keep on encouraging our girls.

Keep on doin it. Keep on believe in yourself. Keep on.

You'll get in there. Keep on Let's get her there. No interest among them, what they said.

I know it's hard being last on this one. You know, I would say define failure as not trying because actually going for things and falling flat on your face is fine. It's a learning experience.

It makes you stronger. But if you don't try and if you don't actually follow your dreams or even admit what they are and go for it, something that will stay with you. So the idea is go for it.

Get there and get others there because you do work all around the world. Where in the world are you most concerned about? What is happening to girls and women right now?

Everywhere? It's unfortunately I mean, you know, at the moment I'm working on with our foundation gathering evidence of crimes being committed against women and girls, among others in Ukraine. You know, I've spent seven years working on cases where I represent women who were victims of enslavement and sexual violence committed by ISIS.

And that's women from Syria and Iraq. We know one in three girls in the world has suffered sexual or gender based violence. That's a huge number.

And the problem is it's going to keep happening if we don't have accountability. So at our foundation, we call what we do waging justice, because, you know, we cannot assume that justice is just going to happen. You have to actually fight for it.

You have to make it happen. And, you know, you can't even assume that things are going to move in the right direction. We are think backsliding.

You know, ask a girl in Afghanistan where the clocks have turned back. 20 years on her rights set against that. I do also see through my work the bravest people in the world being women and young girls who sometimes have suffered the worst crimes, you know, genocide and sexual enslavement.

And they are the ones fighting back, fighting for justice. And I have to say you know, today, watching on our screens what's happening in Iran with girls who've suffered, you know, the worst brutality, but a protest movement and you know, being led by girls in school uniform who are facing off against a regime that is using force to torture and kill. And they're still determined because if they're not the ones on the front lines, they they can't rely on others for change.

And I think that's incredible. And I think it also gives us perspective If girls like that can risk everything to, you know, just be free to show their hair and have just basic freedoms, then we can all do more, you know, from where we're sitting. And so I, I find that really inspiring.