Bill & Bert Driving Part 1: Bert Kreischer Goes On A Neighborhood Drive With Bill

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All Things Comedy

Fellow comedian, Bert Kreischer, joins Bill Burr on a drive around the neighborhood courtesy of Zillow. Ride along with Bill as he educates (rants) you on this special neighborhood etiquette edition and (sort of) works on getting his road rage under control. Thank you to Zillow for sponsoring this video and check your Zestimate here! Get ATC merch! Subscribe to ATC to never miss an episode of Bill Burr's Driving Etiquette: More from All Things Comedy! Facebook: Twitter: Instagram: Follow Bill! Twitter: Facebook: Website: Follow Bert! Instagram: Facebook: Twitter: Website: #BillBurr #BertKreischer #BillBurrsGuideToDrivingEtiquette #ATC #AllThingsComedy #RoadRage #FIsForFamily #MondayMorningPodcast #Bertcast #Netflix #ATCPresents #SomethingsBurning

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Video Transcript:

I think this is where I want to go can't believe you know where you're going I never can understand how to get well then why don't you shut up and enjoy the ride all right here we go oh I know exactly where we were where we are you got a case of exactly's well you know exactly what you are alright here we go [ __ ] like these little houses that I Love a front porch oh yeah you gotta have a [ __ ] porch you just sit there judging people as they walk by I always wanted that as a kid you know I always think I can't wait till I get old enough to start judging people we have Adirondack chairs in our front yard when the center front yard have a cigar people walk by hey what's up what's an Adirondack chair it's the big kind of like wood chairs with the arms did that guy even look no he did not I Think he might have least he's smart enough to ride on the sidewalk you ride on this sidewalk you don't need a helmet you go out in traffic you have a helmet what is that what is that to do riding a bike in LA is terrifying yeah it's a motorcycle without an engine it is completely it's a motorcycle without any of the noise without any of the torque yes when people really especially uber drivers want to prove to you how scary it is as everybody's Texting filburn it's just the right street like this is like so far away I don't even know what the do weirdest thing I was supposed to turn there there was right there yeah oh Jesus so still worried saying throws it this way all right let's get some goods illest first hang me first I hold were you when you first bought your first house 43 really yeah I thought you'd be younger to be honest with you it's nice to know somebody had some expectations out of me I love I love the lot I really am truly obsessed with Zillow I like punching in something in a neighborhood just something you can't afford and just seeing what it gets you there's some well you got a couple of charming houses and but I'll be the judge of that all right so here we are wearing a neighborhood right what are we looking at here these are not alike see these are the size houses when I grew up this is what yes 589 589 great price Nice I like that one get a little yard there you got a tree I said get out from there all right you got to practice being a dad in the front yard get out of here if it feels right okay here we are this is the middle of Glendale how the [ __ ] does that building not fall down you explain that to me yeah that's just somebody showing off when they design it that is 70s architecture does that I would put that job just why are you giving us a two-week nose cuz I don't Want to walk underneath this [ __ ] building to those stairs it's gonna be an earthquake like that's not coming down although this thing is survived a lot of [ __ ] huh that is definitely 1970s architecture that's that building you went into in the 70s when you were in trouble I wonder when it was built it's probably for sale we'll see what's the payments on that thing I'm going in or going in I'm gonna say that's about 60 grand a Month that's the Glendale courthouse dude can you you realize there's a seven million dollar house one block off here I want to see it let's go see what a seven million dollar house right off the stripping Glendale looks like everything around its 850 667 778 and then six point nine six million somebody [ __ ] bought like three houses oh never mind it's an apartment complex oh dude that would've been hilarious if we pulled up To that come on knocking on door we've been waiting for you when I think of apartment buildings is what I was thinking because that was like the ultimate thing he's living with two hot chicks they hung out at the Regal Beagle here let's dip into one of these neighborhood to see what these houses look like okay let's go to the hills yeah let's go in the hills oh yeah yeah yeah it's all about the hills out here in LA you want To look down on people all right there's a river right here I think the good house is on the other side of the river there's a river around here yeah LA River from the LA that's not a river this is a [ __ ] construction project this isn't bad right back here I would love to live back here for exactly $619,000 right there you're right on the corner you got coffee corn coin laundry that's amazing about la is like breastfeeding oh there you go Uh we got we got to support that right yep what are you if I roll down the window and you saw this whole conservative side of hey hey take that inside take it inside I don't have to look at that English all right these are the hills oh here we go oh look at this there we go let's get out of this and see where we're at price-wise all right I want to guess when you find out what they are okay I want to say this dis gets you a Million bucks oh wow no not even close no these are all 800 right here on the front these are 800 yep everything's 888 on a grand you can look down on somebody in LA that's pretty good yep well this are all really affordable not I say affordable for LA standards yeah well what's this house right here green right here this one right here Doug green right there that one yeah I'd say 889 1.5 1.5 got a pool it's Gotta have a pool dude look at that [ __ ] view oh look at that you're gonna get that view for [ __ ] nine hundred grand are you enjoying Zillow yes whoo nice old Spanish house I love those quarters of fitnah what is that that's an Oldsmobile yeah too big for the garage that's interesting they made that garage back in the 20s what car did they think was gonna fit in there one of those our guys this is a [ __ ] up there high That's what the driveways are so dude our shoulders would literally be touching back then you you wrote inside the wheel wells oh yeah I have an old house that's how I know these six do look at this over here what do that view that's incredible dude you could literally get one of those squirrel suits you ever seen that [ __ ] where they just jump off how do they stop the parachutes oh they have parachutes Yeah they squirrel suit and then they parachute that's I was like that's like falling off a skateboard that's going like I don't know 120 miles an hour oh here we go we're going into Silver Lake so now you go over to it what is love this bridge this is the William Wallace bridge where am I going here I don't know you want to go look at a house yeah let's go look you know if you're right up here right up here look at this Hall dude my cell phone could rest on my Chest right now holy crap you know what nobody says on this street yeah you can drop me right here I'm good here we go what have we got 1.5 1.5 ouch dude look at this [ __ ] dude take that's like a Batman villain house look at that thing holy [ __ ] right this is where the created by credit lifts the created by yeah look at these oh these are beautiful right here is it gorgeous Holy [ __ ] look at this one right here you can't judge a house by a roof but if you could I would buy that oh that looks like a hobbit lives in there yeah it does yeah look at the view let's get the GoPro view look at that huh the Silverlake stairs oh is that right yeah how many stairs are there you want to do them no no this house right here on the end 1.3 and I must say this is the divorce guy that bought it who now Lives in this camper special right out front staring out the window doing the stairs today I live on them look this doesn't make any street like this back east where it snows oh you couldn't get doubled it now you could not this is the funny thing about LA where it's just three houses in a row three completely different styles yeah this looks like a [ __ ] library doesn't it tinted windows and then this is almost like the Apartment version of the Brady Bunch your worship where you going is this like I'm going over to the [ __ ] the reservoir see that that's water right there oh there's the water yeah but I think it's getting us back out oh is it yeah you can't go down I can't go down there I don't think we can get over there I think oh [ __ ] you LA why do you do this to me we live at the top of Silver Lake we're the ones with the silver owner who picks Where the cool areas are like you know the young people is it we're young is it so is it and then please just affordable and then dirty old men follow him there and then that money comes in I like and then women just feel themselves getting leered at too much than like I we got it we got to make a new [ __ ] neighborhood these things baby I probably would this is this is where it starts getting really expensive one point two five right here with these big Edges look at Jack Cates lives there with his old Cadillac oh my god one of those Cadillacs are you going owes for nothing for real yeah we all rusted out and [ __ ] for real Z real look at that weird East Coast house out of nowhere next to this postmodern next to this haunted house what the [ __ ] is that this is the Paramore estate what is that this whole thing is the Paramore estate holy [ __ ] how much this is I don't know I don't know hey wait would love to ask Questions hey what's the Paramore estate is it private residence to someone there's like a famous person live there ask and they work for him do you guys work at the Paramore Oh for real how do you get a tour of it Hey but let's rent this and smoke a cigar horses oh all right take care thank you let's do that this looks like a coffee shop that would be in Silverlake it totally does cafecito Organic Oh Owned by white people cafecito or sonically so with you one you got them it was interesting is the congestion of the traffic over here is different than that of the valley like the valley is a little wide open not windy it's just very like gritty why are you talking to me like I'm a little kid yeah and and eat everything it's like it's not windy it's like greedy okay I love this neighborhood cuz it's closer to the airport and that guy scratching his Balls with [ __ ] extension cord did you just see that that guy was just full-on raking his pubes facing the street as cars but this place is the [ __ ] [ __ ] Gus's famous fried chicken yeah delicious they have another location in Burbank this is the original really oh my god dude I love to get some of that [ __ ] right [ __ ] now should we put it in order so we ended up beating fried chicken how good was that we're so good I didn't realize like how Regal you get the way you talk to waiters it's like it's not even rude you talk to him like dealing you know you want me to back this up again oh you said what would you say get take this away from take this away take this do this with your hands how's this for you to go like that and some of the big [ __ ] feather Fanning over you and then you just walked up to that waitress you just go you go wet-naps and she just no excuse me could I get some wet nest Please you just go wet-naps right now but it wasn't rude yeah you just said what you wanted in that Bert way take this away my wife closes with patriarchy hey this is Bill burr and Bert Kreischer and we want to thank Zillow for letting us drive around talk about houses and eat some fried chicken Thank You SIL oh you'll always be in my pocket

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