Sex before marriage was the worst thing I did to my mental health..…here’s why.

ah um so it's been a while since I've actually filmed a video the past few videos I've posted have been ones that were recorded a while ago a few of you have noticed that I've deleted a lot of videos from my channel there's a lot that I want to talk about besides the topic of this video and I'm really excited to tell you guys all the things that have changed in my life recently some of them I want to keep to myself and reveal as time goes on let's talk about the topic of this video

so I was in a relationship for six years we broke up in June and I've been living a single life in this house by myself I have three dogs now I personally have the mindset of dating for marriage I do have friends who I've had conversations with about their experience in dating and I've talked about my experience in dating with them and after Christmas before New Year's my friends and I were talking about how sex makes dating so much harder because you meet a guy and you're thinking if we've had a few weeks of talking

phone calls we established we both want a relationship we both want marriage one day we both want kids one day we've had all the conversations if we sleep with them are they gonna think we're easy are they gonna immediately assume she's probably done this with other guys are we thinking that they've done this with other girls if we wait too long are they going to think that we don't like them are they gonna think this girl's not gonna have sex with me I'm gonna go have sex with someone else and you know in the moment

you're liking this person and logic goes out the window when sex is on the table a lot of times we will do that even if we don't want to out of fear all my friends were talking about how being intimate with somebody can be such a distraction we've been in situations where we knew we wanted to date a guy they expressed interest in dating us becoming exclusive whatever and we were intimate with them and then as time goes on you start to realize maybe they were saying things they didn't mean the way that they treated

you in the beginning is not how they treat you after you were intimate being intimate with somebody is the most vulnerable you can be with another human being emotionally and physically all at the same time and creates this false sense of closeness after being intimate we slowly started to realize this is not somebody that I want to date but because we were intimate because we have that false sense of closeness now and we have such a high because of all the hormones and feelings that go along with that act now we're ignoring red flags it

is not uncommon to feel a false sense of attachment to someone after you have sex with them because oxytocin is released during sex some oxytocin is released when you are doing things that are not having sex like when you hug somebody when you're in a romantic relationship that you're not having sex in but when you are having sex you're having a way higher amount of oxytocin released and there is research that shows that when you have a high level of oxytocin released it leads you to make decisions that you would not make if that hormone

was not coursing through your veins you're going to be artificially attached to the person and you're going to be blinded by reality because of those hormones it's an addictive hormone when oxytocin is released into the brain it can impact emotional cognitive and social behaviors your brain is not functioning the way it normally would rationally you're going to make decisions and do things that you wouldn't normally do I think we all know that friend who like keeps going back to the same guy who is not good for her and I'm sure we've done it ourselves like

and you can't explain it you're like I know logically he's not good for me but I'm gonna text him anyway we feel like they're already our boyfriend because we're sleeping together but then also in the back of your mind you know he's not your boyfriend and you're thinking is he doing this with other people when is it crazy for me to ask if he's talking to other people when can I ask and it's a normal amount of time this might sound crazy to some of you but these are conversations I've had with all of the

women in my life that have dated at some point or are dating now it's something we're always thinking about speaking from my own experience there's one person I'm thinking of specifically um in these months of dating that we both wanted a relationship that's what we said and um we were intimate after that happened we spent a few days together because we were intimate throughout the week I totally forgot about those things all the red flags and I can't even imagine where I would be if he didn't do the horrible things that he did to make

me walk away I would still be in that situation with the totally wrong person for me because I was blinded by sex that is terrifying I cannot even imagine how many people even in long-term relationships are staying and they don't even realize that they're staying because the makeup sex is great sex in general is great if you have sex with someone that you're dating and you go a week without seeing each other it's kind of implied now that you've already had sex that the next time you see each other you're going to have sex when

you're not having sex with somebody and you both agree to that now you know that that's not on the table you can stay up all night talking every single thing that they do for you you know that they're doing it for you because they genuinely care about you they want to continue to get to know you and they see a future with you people can be in relationships as adults for years and years and years and years if you both want to get married and you're of an age where marriage is appropriate and you're financially

able to get married or you already live together what are we waiting for I can't help but think that they were too blinded by attraction and a sex life and they're not really sure if this is the person for them we're so confused because our culture is trying to tell us that we should be able to have sex and not care afterwards we should have sex because we want to have sex for our own pleasure my friend facetimed me uh leaving this guy's apartment and she's like I texted him to come over last night and

when I got to his apartment I asked him to come down because it was a dangerous area and I didn't feel comfortable and it was really late at night and I wanted him to like come downstairs to like walk me up to his apartment and he wouldn't do it so she went up to his apartment uh they hooked up and then she's calling me the next day a listing a few different points throughout the night that made her feel like he didn't care about her like he didn't value her just using her and I said

you want him to see you as an object you don't want him to see you as a friend as a girlfriend as a wife you want him to see you for your body you are seeing him for his body those are the boundaries that you guys have established we're taught nowadays that sex doesn't mean anything so why does it hurt so bad when somebody uses us for sex my friend went into the night thinking I'm doing this for me I wanna feel good but then you're upset my friend called me another time she slept with

this guy on the first date because they had both been saying that they want a relationship they stayed up all night talking they both have had really hard lives with their parents and specifically their dads and they bonded over that and uh they had sex and then the next day she didn't hear from him all day she texted him at like nine o'clock this is a Saturday they hung out on a Friday didn't answer her for like a whole week and then she finally was like what is your problem and he responded saying I'm sorry

I should have told you I wasn't attracted to you you knew you spent the whole night with her and he had sex with her anyway knowing that he wasn't going to contact her after that and she said the sex was great she got what she wanted out of it physically she gave herself to him in that way and then he rejected her it would have hurt still if they didn't have sex and he didn't call her after the date but it would have hurt a lot less if you go on a date with somebody and

you have dinner and then you don't hear from them it's like all right if you have sex with somebody and they don't text you ever again and they told you that they were into you and that they wanted a relationship and that's what they were looking for and they dead at you I know so many girls it's crazy my friend and I were talking about this and she's a Christian and she was talking about how maybe there's a reason why God says we're not supposed to have sex before we're married just hearing them talk about

all of this trauma that's going on because they have sex with these people that they're dating and then to experience certain things myself we're causing pain and Trauma on both sides men are feeling it women are feeling it this is a huge huge problem I know that you guys have had crushes on people before you've had sex with them you know when you like someone when you're attracted to them you can tell from making out with somebody that you have a connection you're attracted to them you can always have conversations about what kind of sex

life you want to have all of the things I'm observing are pointing me to believe that even in a long-term relationship where you're having sex with someone who you know loves you it could still be a huge distraction I think it's so important to get to know somebody and fall in love with them and marry them when sex is off the table and so I have made a decision for myself based on my own experiences my friends experiences and reality to not have sex again until I'm married the Peace of knowing that I will never

be used I will never be played I will never be led on or tricked or manipulated when it comes to sex ever again is the most freeing thing and I know there are not a lot of people out there that are willing to do that I would rather be alone than be with the wrong person when my friend started talking about the fact that the Bible says we shouldn't have sex before we're married and says we're going to experience all of these things that everyone around me and myself are experiencing when not listening to that

I was like okay that's kind of weird that is confirming what I am living and what I am seeing after I was talking to my friend who is a Christian who was pointing me to the Bible I joined a Bible study and I have been reading the word myself and I've been doing a lot of research because I'm not the type of person where I just want to blindly follow something that feels good to me I don't want my truth I want the truth my camera died the reason I took down some videos is because

I feel like I failed you guys I don't want to have videos out there where I put so much value into how I look because that is sending the message to you that women in general should be valued because of how they look I don't think there's anything wrong with laser hair removal and like putting some effort into how you look I don't want to have videos out there where I'm showing so much of my body it's not just like oh yeah this outfit makes me feel good it's this outfit's getting me likes this outfit's

furthering my career this outfit's getting attention from the opposite sex and they're not looking at me for my heart when I'm showing my boobs I am more than my body and I'm so tired of dressing in a way that doesn't suggest that it's teaching everyone around you to see you as a physical object I objectify women if a girl is in a club with really tight clothes on showing it all I'm looking at her thinking like she has really nice boobs she's really skinny she has nice curves she got a big old booty I'm not

thinking like I wonder what she likes to do for fun I want people to know me for me I want people to know you for you and if I continue to post videos about how I look and also dress in a certain way that showcases my body in an extreme way I'm sending the wrong message when you hear a guy that you like is talking to another girl or that your ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend your immediate reaction is what does this girl look like if you see a picture of that girl and she doesn't

look prettier than you you feel really good about yourself why is that if she's prettier than you you're gonna feel bad about yourself why is that I am so passionate and so excited about so many things in life and that's what I want to show on my channel I'm gonna have a really interesting dating experience going forward I am excited and I'm hopeful and I'll be sharing it with you guys I do want a husband I do want to find my person and I'm not going to stop trying and I'm gonna document it I can't

wait to grow in my faith and share that I didn't know if I wanted to talk about my testimony in this video but obviously a lot happened between the conversation I had with my friend and then me deciding that I want to pursue a relationship with Christ it was about a two-week period I would say where I was really praying and asking for guidance and researching and asking the holy spirit for guidance I mean it was honestly a really overwhelming experience and I can talk about that in more detail but I didn't want to just

have it seem like I had one conversation about God with a friend and then now I'm a Christian you know so I just want you guys to know that I'm not associating myself with anybody these are my own thoughts these are things that I've seen in reality in real life I'm not associated with the red pill movement with certain people of that movement I'm not even associated with certain Christians that you may have know of online that's all I have to say right now I love you guys thank you for watching