Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | The Daily Show

Welcome to the Daily Show. We got one for you tonight. My name is John Stewart.

Uh what a program we have designed for you. Uh Alikart, it's going to be fantastic. Uh our guest tonight, General Stanley Mcrist will be doing wrote a book.

Chances are I will mib him uh about the McRock war. All right. Uh first, President Donald Trump.

Um God I no no no no respect his authoritar honestly it's so much comes at us every day with him I can't even sleep organized thoughts eat I just and he knows he knows he's toying with us here he is on Tuesday of last week we're going to have a very very big announcement to make like as big as it gets and I won't tell you on what. Oh, good. So, we won't know how to prepare.

Should we wear our good pants or the ones we piss in? But fine. Don't Don't tell us this big announcement.

Just tell us when. And that announcement will be made either Thursday or Friday or Monday before we [Applause] leave. Why are you mentioning it?

Is it sweeps week? Is that what this is? But fine.

We will keep our eyes out for any announcement bombshells. And on Friday, I think we got one. the privilege of the writ of habius corpus can be suspended in a time of invasion.

So I would say that's an option we're actively looking at as a murderer. The government, the United States government is actively looking at suspending due process and and the rule of law. That's a big announcement.

big enough for Steven Miller to risk bursting into flames because of the touch of God's sunlight. The only time a president has done it unilaterally uh without the u without the authorization of Congress was Abraham Lincoln during the Civil War. That was the last really.

So, back when slavery was legal and the treatment for diarrhea was amputation. But that being said, this is a big announcement. As you know, you know, ability of somebody to challenge their rights in courts is a pretty essential part of the rule of law.

So, certainly raising a lot of eyebrows uh with that comment. Just just eyebrows. Just the Trump administration is thinking of tearing up the Constitution.

So, here in Washington, we're hearing a lot of, "Huh, one legal scholar even said, "That's weird. " So, maybe that's the announcement. Suspension of ABS Corpus, unless there's something else.

President Trump is appointing former New York prosecutor Janine Piro as interim US attorney. You may say to yourself, "Well, that can't be the announcement. because that's just not that big a deal.

Yet, in this new world that we live in, this announcement registers the same as suspending habius corpus on the eyebrow meter. Janine Piro, uh, a lot of eyebrows are being raised at this pick so far. Hey, hey, hey, Janine, you're going to be the new US attorney in DC.

Yeah, I know. We're surprised, too. That is, by the way, the sound.

Oh, also they're suspending habius corpus. Same. A statement.

All right. So maybe maybe that's the big announcement. But hey, we've got until today for any other announcements or is there anything else?

The Trump administration is preparing to accept a super luxury Boeing jumbo jet from the royal family of cutter. That luxury jumbo jet, which has a value estimated at $400 million. The aircraft would be used by President Trump as a new Air Force One and then transferred to the Trump Presidential Library Foundation shortly before he leaves office.

What? Cutter is giving us a plane that Trump gets to keep. He's like the reverse Oprah.

I get a jet and that's it. I I get a jet for my library. Why does his library need a jet?

Why would your presidential library? Yeah. Hello.

I'm calling from Europe and uh I need a book about Trump by morning. And the book must travel in the comfort and style one can only get from Cutter. It's known as the most luxurious private jet in the world.

Described as a flying palace, it features the biggest master bedroom in the sky, as well as some very plush living quarters and several private offices. Some of the nine bathrooms on board have full showers and even a [Applause] bedet. I didn't even know water could go there.

Okay. Holy crap. That is not a plane.

That is a flying palace. I'm not going to tell Trump how to run his business, but uh I would steam the out of those carpets. But hey, it's a jet from cutter.

We can trust them. They're not suspect like Canada or working to undermine us like all of our other democratic allies in Europe. Cutter is considered an American ally, but it is also an ally of Iran and China and even Hamas.

Oh, Trump's going to take a $400 million jet from people he would expel from Columbia University. I think you know what I This is shocking. This is shocking.

I think I know what this news might do to our eye pubes. It raises many, many eyebrows to have this sort of deal at all. Actually, that's how the plane flies.

It overcomes Earth's gravity through the power of the raised eyebrows. Look, obviously the president would understand that a gift of this magnitude from a government with questionable ties to terror organizations combined with uh article one section 9 uh constitutional prohibition against the president accepting uh a foreign flying palace. Uh he would understand that that's a legitimate I'm just kidding.

He was appalled that you'd even ask. They're giving us a free jet. I could say, "No, no, no.

Don't give us I want to pay you a billion or 400 million or whatever it is. " Or I could say, "Thank you very [Applause] much. It's not a free jet.

" That's the point. You know the expression, there's no such thing as a free lunch. That's about being skeptical of the motives of somebody who gives you a sandwich.

A sandwich. a BLT. Now, imagine that that BLT has an engine, nine bathrooms, and funds proxy wars.

So, in the dizzying run-up to this big announcement of the possible suspension of Havius Corpus, or maybe the appointment of another Fox News star or the naked bribery of our highest elected officials, none of those were Trump's big announcement. President Trump just announced that prescription drug and pharmaceutical prices will be reduced by 30 to 80% almost immediately. This appears to be the major announcement that the president has been teasing for days.

I am having wanted that for years. Pharma has exploited the American consumer while we have in turn subsidized their whole industry with tax incentives and direct funds. I like this.

But without getting into the weeds, explain this thing that I've wanted for a very long time. Like I'm incredibly dumb. Drg prices will come down.

We're getting them down 60 70 80 90% but actually more than that if you think about it in the way mathematically. If you think about it mathematically, I don't want to brag, but I often think about numbers mathematically. How is this going to work?

The rest of the world's going to have to pay a little bit more, and America's going to pay a lot less. Basically, what we're doing is equalizing. There's a new word that I came up with, which I think is probably the best word.

We're going to equalize. [Applause] Europe, Eureka, Uklid. Yeah, here it is.

equalize. I thought it sounded familiar. Look, he's trying to kill us all.

Look, I would like to think that the tenacious pleadings of progressive leaders like Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders helped make this possible. We are sick and tired of paying by far the highest prices in the world for prescription drugs. I'm going to attack the prices on commonly used drugs.

Put a cap on the cost of insulin. A cap on the cost of prescription drugs. Not one of those child caps that you can't and I have diarrhea.

What's happening? Unfortunately, it turns out credit for the biggest, most important announcement in the history of this presidency goes to someone else. I mean, I'll tell you a story.

Friend of mine who's a a businessman, very, very, very top guy. Most of you would have heard of him, a highly neurotic, brilliant businessman. Uh, seriously overweight.

[Applause] That took a turn. Top guy. Brilliant.

You know him. Famous. Bit of a chubs.

Anyway, I'm sure public press conference is a rough way for this guy to find out that he is saved in Trump's phone as neurotic fat friend. But what else can you tell us about this friend who's very famous, successful businessman? a highly neurotic, brilliant businessman, uh, seriously overweight, and he takes the fat the fat shot drug.

Fat shot. The fat shot. Do you read any of your briefings?

The fat. He takes the fat shot. You know, the fat shot.

I got another friend. Brilliant real estate mogul. He takes the dick stiff pills.

This guy takes the fat shot. This guy takes the dick stiff pills. I'm sorry.

Continue the story about this fat of a friend of yours. And he called me up and he said, "Uh, president, could I ask you a question? What?

I'm in London and I just paid for this damn fat drug I take. " I said, "It's not working. [Applause] Yo, Rickles, that is ice cold.

Your friend is like opening up like, "Oh, I took this bad drug. " He's like, "It's not working. " He's like, "I'm drunk.

" This poor guy. He's just catching strays in the middle of a presidential press conference. Trump's talking about drug pricing reform.

And he's like, "Hey, when this guy goes to the hospital, the nurse gives him 50 cc's of Crisco. He's fat. Hey, my friend, he's very successful.

Went to London and when they saw him, they changed the name of Big Ben to just Ben cuz this guy's fat. He's a fat piece of This [Applause] guy. " Anyway, back to uh life-saving drug pricing.

Um, again, President Trump, what does any of this have to do with pricing? He said, "I just paid $88 and in New York I paid $1300. What the hell is going on?

" He said, "So, I checked and it's the same box made in the same plant by the same company. It's the identical pill. This is a great businessman.

" So, but he's not familiar with this crazy situation that we have, but he was stunned. Yeah, he was as stunned as he is fat. I [Applause] mean, what is, by the way, I don't know if anybody realized, uh, but the fat shot somehow turned into a fat pill in the middle of the story.

It's how you know the story is true. But you know whether the story is true or not, Donald Trump's point is if you find yourself in the socialized health care systems of London and you want to run out and get some Osmpic and some fish chips, don't bother cuz his fat of a friend ate them all like a pot of orcas on a tuna bender. But the point is Right now, his poor friend is at home going, "Don't look at me.

" It feels like a decade ago that they threatened to suspend Aia's corpus. It was Friday, that long ago yesterday year when the Knicks were still up 20. And since then, we've had the largest bribe ever given to an American president, the seeming surrender of a trade war we started, and the socializing of our pharmaceutical industry.

What even is this country? And what operating? Four months ago, we were a standardissue democratic constitutional republic.

Now we're some kind of anarco kleptoocialist communist silk road reality show. The only foundational unchanging edict that we can even hang our hats on anymore is that whatever we are now as a country, that country is closed to any refugees. As Steven Miller said, America is now for Americans only.

So hopefully there will be no more surprise announcements that overturn that apple cart. After pausing virtually all refugee admissions for those fleeing war and famine, the Trump administration is now planning to welcome one group, white South Africans. What the White South Africans.

That's the only group we're opening. What? You already have one?

What? Why? You You know what, Mr President?

You don't need 30 37 South Africans now. You'll make do with just one or two. Wait, this wouldn't have anything to do with the white thing, would it?

Their land is being confiscated in South Africa. I don't care about their race, their color. I don't care about their height, their weight.

[Applause] Oh, you care about their weight.