What I Wish I Knew About Outings With Dates and Friends.

don't you hate it when you try to plan something with your friends and all of a sudden no one can come or you have a first date or a date with someone you already know coming up and you have no idea how to plan for it or maybe you really want to plan something with a new group of people that you just met from work or school or you're in luck because in this video I'm going to show you how I plan fun events for new and old friends that they'll actually show up to as

well as how I plan a good date with someone that I've just met or that I already know that they will definitely remember oh lord it's good to be here with you [Music] Mr I have a very valid question to ask you why should you trust me well in just a few short years I went from having next to no friends never dating anyone in my life and feeling extremely lonely to making friends like it's nothing and sometimes going on up to three days a week okay let's dive in so imagine this do you're at

a new University School workplace or perhaps you're finding your footing in a new group of people how do you turn those people into friends or at least see if you should well what I like to do is I like to find an activity and I'll give some suggestions afterwards then I create a group chat and add people one by one or simply just casually bring it up or even go around asking hey you want to come and do this with us yeah all right what's your contact what's your Instagram WhatsApp Messenger phone number and then

I'll add them to the group chat and we'll plan everything else from there cool but what kind of activities do I plan and why does this work so well for most people I think the best activities to set up are easy to plan public activities like mini golf going out drinking bowling shopping or even at dinner or lunch together now I've personally had the most success going either bowling or going out drinking now why do I think this cheeky little group chat method works very well I think the biggest factor is because it makes a

very casual and low press environment not just for the people who are being in the plan but me who's planning it it's so easy to approach people with such an accessible and acceptable thing and it makes it really easy to plant those seeds of mutual trust and confidence so even if I don't come out of it making best friends with absolutely everyone in the group I at least feel a lot more comfortable talking to them and them talking to me and maybe even each other which makes their lives better too not just mine how well

do you really know your close friends I think you should at least be able to guess roughly whether or not a certain friend or friend group is available on a certain day or time right now it's in the middle of the University exam season so more than half my friends aren't allowed to see daylight until halfway through November unlucky but generally I would lock in a date as soon as possible but what if we're not 100% sure about this kind of stuff what do I do if I don't know when my friends are available say

it with me I ask and then I listen It's Not Unusual to be upfront and honest with them just asking hey what time this month are you free to go on a hike or even what does your weekly schedule look like at the moment conversations like this save me a lot of headaches and have even led to things like weekly breakfasts I love to have Brey with one of my mates every Tuesday morning and I love looking forward to it on my miserable Mondays okay so we know when we can plan things but how do

we know they'll actually show up well I want you to ask yourself what makes you want to show up to events that people plan for me it's two major contributors I have a feeling when I asked you that question the first thing that came to your mind is what is being planned plan something actually fun that's what makes most people want to come but how do I know what's fun I'll try to remember what myself and my friends have enjoyed in the past heck I might even ask them after an event what they thought for

me my friends love going on Hikes they love dinners they love board games bowling even night drives so I'll find a new restaurant or I'll have a look at some hikes and try to find a new and unique one maybe I'll set up a quiz night my friends and I absolutely love a big competitive quiz night with lots of prizes and hard questions it gets cha as hell and it's almost never a Miss okay that's the first one but what do I think is the second big contributor well not all my friends are the same

and I think it's safe to say that your friends aren't all the same either inviting the right friends will make or break a great time I can think of a couple people or I could walk in the mud on a rainy day Barefoot with just them and it would be a great and memorable time inviting the right friends will help bring others together they'll help you encourage others to come along and they'll just make the vibes s TI I think you should have a couple of friends in the back of your mind where you could

do just about anything without really planning something and still have fun we're missing something here something so important that if you miss it you probably won't have a memorable time at all sometimes I'll plan outings 1 week 2 weeks 3 weeks even 2 months ahead of time depending on what it is but why that's an insanely long amount of time well an obvious reason is that it maximizes attendance more people can come the further ahead you book but it also maximizes hype and excitement imagine you've got a really long exam week or you've got a

lot of work coming up well at the end of that time there's a big hike or we're going on a road trip or maybe it's as simple as going out to a bar I don't know about you but the knowledge that something fun is coming up is going to make my day much easier and it gives me a good enough reason to keep going sometimes though something happens something horrible you get a message on your phone and all of a sudden a day or two before maybe even the day of no one can show up

I hate this and when it happens I just want to lie down on my bed and drink myself to death but seriously though most of the time in the back of my mind I'll have a plan B if less people can come I'll just plan something a bit closer or easier to set up sometimes though for my plan B I'll just end up going by myself anyways it's really no big deal doing things by myself solo activities make me a lot more confident though in the long run and every time I go to a cafe

by myself or I go for for a long hike it makes me feel a whole lot more confident like a whole new person like I can do anything and I think doing things alone is very valuable but it really never hurts to double check with everyone and confirm that they're actually going to show up not every outing needs to be perfectly planned 5 million years ahead of time though friends if they're good friends would be more than happy to tag along with you to places you were already going or haven't even planned enough about friends

though what about special romantic Rel relationships o how how do I make a date interesting well I'm going to show you for people who want to plan out a date and I'm going to show you what I think is a pretty common mistake that I like to avoid are you meeting someone for the first time maybe it's through a dating app or through a friend and you're on a first date I have a question for you what does a coffee at a cafe a museum a walk in the city Garden or even a dinner have

in common well they're all accessible and public places a person you've never met would feel comfortable and safe like they could leave at any time for any reason that lets you both stretch your legs and feel confident and really get to know each other when I plan my first dates in particular I like to plan them efficiently I don't want to fluff around so I give them a time and a place and if they can't make it I kindly ask what their schedule looks like for the rest of the week I think what I'm trying

to say is have some self-respect try not to drop absolutely everything just so you can see someone you've never even met before but what do I personally avoid what's a big no no in my book well watching a movie or bowling or something like that and why well what are you doing when you're watching a movie you're both staring at a screen and what are you doing when you're bowling one of you sitting down the other one's throwing a bowling ball down an alley and knocking over some pins and why do I think this is

a bad thing well when you're on a first date what are you there to do you're not there to see who can win at bowling and you're not there to watch a movie you're there to get to know each other right and how could you possibly do that if you're distracted so personally I like to stick to public accessible and engaging activities with my first date but what about someone you already know someone you already feel comfortable with maybe it's a second or third date maybe it's a 15th maybe you've known them for 15 years

and you've been married well I've got some really juicy tips and I've got an amazing one right towards the end well when I'm planning these kinds of dates I plan them like I'm planning a bank heist okay maybe not but you get the point I plan it well I get to know my surroundings where I'm going roughly when how all that kind of stuff just so it goes smoothly just so it has that maximum enjoyment maximum romantic value now I don't plan everything as a side note just the basics and maybe little extras which we'll

get into later for example I'm going to have dinner here then I'm going to walk to the gardens here then I'll get some ice cream here then I'll drop them off at home and it never hurts to leave a little extra room for some spontaneity actually I've changed my mind I'm going to I'm going to give you two extremely juicy Pro tips right now stick around so I mentioned little extras and these are little additions I like to add to my dates to keep them exciting now sometimes I won't give a gift directly to someone

sometimes I'll let them find it themselves or maybe I'll have a special way of them finding it so for example one time when I drop someone off on a date I purposefully left some chocolate behind to let them find it later on with their name on it sometimes I might set up something as simple as sitting on a bench that I know about that's in a really good spot or maybe I'll take a very scenic route somewhere once I wrote a note even and stuck it on their mirror you could leave one in their purse

or wallet perhaps I'll book a spot at our dinner at a really nice window table or I might dress extra nice those are some great ways you can spice up your dates a little bit and make them a little more thought out but what is the best tip from me how do you plan a date where the other person will really appreciate it well you could take a page out of the last chapter where I talked about actually planning a good outing a good activity is important as well but there's mystery in a date which

makes it exciting and how do you keep mystery in a date well personally I keep it a secret I like to keep it as a surprise especially on later dates and well into a relationship it keeps it exciting not just for them but for me too I want to see how they'll react now obviously I won't keep it a secret if we're going to go out shopping for groceries or something like that but if we're going out on a nice River walk or stargazing or at a very nice cafe I'm not going to tell them

exactly what we're doing or where we're going but of course I'm still going to respect their general questions I'm going to let them know what the dress code is or how far away it might be or how long we'll be gone and if things don't go to plan I like to stay calm and improvise to make sure it goes along as smoothly as possible trust me just about every single time I've done this the other person has absolutely loved trying to guess what it might be and they really appreciate it especially when it's a well

planned out day so what's your own personal way of planning out a date or an outing does your friend group work in different ways and what kind of dates have you been on that made you really impressed just remember at the end of the day this isn't textbook and everyone is different