Stop Seeking Social Approval | Carl Jung and Alfred Adler

have you ever stopped to think about how much of your life is spent trying to please others maybe not consciously but the effort to gain others approval often drives our choices from the smallest decisions to the most important ones what if you could reclaim that time and redirect it toward living more authentically think about something simple posting a photo on social media and then spending the day checking notifications likes comments shares it all seems to validate who we are but in reality we're dancing like puppets controlled by the invisible strings of other people's expectations these

strings control us so subtly that we often don't even realize it now imagine cutting those strings and finally dancing to your own Rhythm Carl Young Young with his analysis of the Persona and Alfred Adler with his ideas on courage and acceptance offer us paths to understanding why we seek external validation so much they show us that emotional Freedom begins when we confront who we truly are and stop living to please others here you'll uncover what's behind this Behavior the impact of living to please and how to find a path to authenticity and freedom if the

Quest for approval takes so much from us why is it so hard to let go of it the answer lies in The Invisible traps that external validation creates throughout our lives from a young age we're conditioned to associate our worth with others acceptance good grades in school earn praise and reward WS while mistakes are punished or ridiculed this pattern teaches us even in childhood that pleasing others is the key to being accepted a lesson we carry into adulthood like an emotional anchor seeking approval is like running on a treadmill you push harder move faster but

never actually get anywhere it feels productive but deep down it's an exhausting cycle that keeps us stuck in the same place worse still the need for validation often stifles our authenticity think of a work meeting you have an idea but hesitate to share it what if people think it's silly the fear of judgment paralyzes you the result the idea stays in your head and you feel trapped between the desire to express yourself and the need for approval Carl Jung explains that over time we create a Persona a social mask we shape to please others the

problem arises when we forget that this mask is not who we truly are are the Relentless pursuit of validation forces us to wear this Persona to the point where we lose touch with our Essence we become prisoners of a collective expectation we never chose but follow without question how many opportunities have you let slip by because you were more concerned about pleasing others than being honest with yourself how many times have you sacrificed your authenticity out of fear of not being accepted these questions make us reflect on the emotional toll of depending on others approval

after all living to please others is a burden far too heavy to carry why do We crave others acceptance so much this need far from being just a social whim is deeply rooted in our Evolution back when our ancestors lived in tribes belonging to a group meant survival those who were excluded faced greater dangers such as Predators or resource scarcity acceptance therefore became a matter of life or death an instinct we still carry with us today however the modern world no longer operates like a prehistoric tribe even so we continue to respond to this need

for belonging as if our survival depended on it that's why we often avoid expressing controversial opinions or confronting situations that might isolate us like staying silent during a work meeting for fear of displeasing others the cost of this silence authenticity is sacrificed to ensure we remain part of a group Alfred Adler the renowned Austrian psychologist and one of the pioneers of modern psychology dedicated his career to exploring how Human Relationships shape our personalities he argued that the need to belong is a fundamental driving force but individual growth must take priority for Adler the courage to

be imperfect to accept that not everyone will like us is essential for achieving true emotional Freedom Carl Young adds to this perspective by asserting that individuation the process of becoming who we truly are is only possible when we stop being Tethered to others expectations and here arises a crucial question do you really need approval to be happy or are you simply clinging to a tribal need that no longer makes sense recognizing that this drive is a relic of the past can be liberating after all what was once essential for our physical survival has now often

become a barrier to our emotional Freedom how many of the choices we make each day are truly our own sometimes we don't even realize we're following patterns imposed by Society as if we're Bound By An Invisible manual on how to live these unspoken rules shape everything from what we wear to how we define success creating an illusion of Freedom while we follow paths already laid out by others think about fashion who decides what's in style is it really your personal taste or is it a social Norm dictating what you should wear to be accepted or

consider the pressure to reach certain life Milestones like getting married or having children by a specific age how many people make these decisions because they genuinely want to and how many do it to avoid judgment social media amplifies these invisible expectations turning the need to Showcase a perfect life into an almost mandatory standard these social norms act like rails guiding us without us realizing it it's easy to go along with them because in a way there's comfort in following what's already accepted by everyone but at the same time they can become invisible bars limiting choices

that could reflect our truest desires when you live solely to meet these rules you end up giving away a part of your autonomy so how do we break free from this influence the first step is to ask yourself why do I do what I do who is really in control of my decisions recognizing the existence of these invisible rules is essential to regaining control of your life it's not about ignoring Society but about making conscious choices following certain Norms when they align with you and rejecting them when they don't make sense how many times have

you avoided making a decision out of fear of being judged whether it's changing careers disagreeing with someone or simply saying no the fear of displeasing others can feel overwhelming after all we've been conditioned to believe that acceptance is vital to our well-being but true Freedom begins when you accept that not everyone will like you and that's okay imagine someone who decides to leave a stable career to follow their passion fully aware they'll face criticism and disapproval perhaps their family questions their sanity friends doubt their chances of success and colleagues see it as a mistake this

is where the courage to displease comes into play when you prioritize what truly matters to you instead of chasing approval at all costs Adler once said the greatest courage is the courage to be imp perfect he believed the need to please is a trap that ties us to the desire to appear perfect in others eyes but no one can please everyone and trying to do so denies your true self think about it who is Freer the person who tries to please everyone even at the expense of their own values or the one who lives in

alignment with their convictions even if it means facing criticism the pursuit of approval is a form of emotional imprisonment while the C to displease sets us free this doesn't mean being intentionally rude or selfish but rather finding a balance between respecting others and staying true to yourself the truth is when you stop trying to please everyone you'll realize that other people's opinions have far less power over you than you thought more importantly you'll discover that the respect earned by living your truth is far more valuable than forced approval living to please others disconnects us from

something essential our ourselves when our choices are constantly shaped by others expectations we stop asking what we truly want or who we really are the impact of this disconnection on self-awareness is profound but there's a silver lining as we begin to free ourselves from external approval we open the door to genuine personal growth Carl Jung in his studies of the psyche emphasized the importance of integrating the Shadow the parts of ourselves we repress or deny often out of fear of rejection confronting this Shadow isn't easy but it's essential for self-discovery it's like unlocking a chest

full of hidden treasures at first it may feel uncomfortable but each Discovery is worth the effort consider someone who recognizes their fear of rejection and decides to face it they might start saying no to invitations or tasks that don't interest them even if it upsets others at first the discomfort will be inevitable but over time they'll feel more aligned with their true values and desires it's this process of looking inward rather than seeking answers outside that reconnects us with our Essence when we stop living for external validation we start identifying what truly matters to us

what are our values what brings us joy what do we want to achieve these are simple questions yet they often get lost in the noise of societal expectations reconnecting with this inner dialogue is the first step toward truly knowing yourself in the end self- knowledge isn't just about knowing who we are but also about accepting the parts of ourselves we've avoided confronting this acceptance allows us to live authentically not fearing disappointment from others but feeling at peace knowing we're being true to ourselves when we let go of the constant need for validation something remarkable happens

our relationships begin to change they become less about trying to please or impress and more about authenticity and genuine connection the emotional Freedom we gain by Breaking Free from the need for approval transforms not only how we see ourselves but also how we connect with others imagine a friendship where both people feel free to be their true selves without fear of judgment in this type of relationship there's no need for masks or pretenses when you can share your thoughts insecurities and opinions honestly without worrying about displeasing the other person the Friendship becomes deeper and more

meaningful it's the difference between a social con contract with unspoken and often stifling rules and a true connection built on Mutual acceptance as Adler emphasized self-acceptance is the foundation of genuine relationships if you can't accept who you are you end up projecting that insecurity onto others expecting them to fill the void with their approval the problem with this Dynamic is that it creates fragile relationships based on need rather than a conscious choice to be together Jung also reminds us that authentic relationships require a balance between the Persona we show the world and who we truly

are inside the more aligned these two aspects become the less we depend on external validation to sustain our bonds after all when you're true to yourself you attract people who value that authenticity ask yourself how many of your current relationships are based on the need for approval and how many could transform if you simply let go of the constant worry about what others think healthier relationships begin when you realize you don't need to please anyone to deserve love respect and friendship you just need to be yourself we live in the age of social media where

external validation isn't just sought it's encouraged likes comments and shares have become the new currency of approval turning our profiles into carefully curated showcases designed to attract acceptance but in losing ourselves to this cycle a pressing question arises are we living for ourselves or to impress others imagine someone spending hours adjusting a photo before posting it the lighting has to be perfect the angle impeccable then comes the anxious wait for notifications who liked it who commented yet even when the engagement meets expectations the satisfaction is brief soon the need to repeat the process arises and

so the cycle perpetuates itself this isn't just exhausting it's unsustainable modern behavioral psychology points out that these platforms are designed to be addictive each like or comment releases small doses of dopamine which makes us come back for more it's a system that conditions our brains to associate external validation with emotional well-being even if it's superficial and fleeting however as Carl Jung argued who looks outside dreams who looks inside awakens seeking meaning and likes is like building a house on S sand the foundation isn't solid and The Emptiness Remains What if no one liked your post

would it still be meaningful to you this is a necessary reflection true validation comes from knowing that what you do has value for you regardless of others reactions social media has the power to connect but also to imprison it's up to us to decide how to use these tools without becoming their captives when we stop measuring our worth by online reactions we ReDiscover what true matters WE Post because we have something to say not because we expect a specific response we live according to our values not those of the algorithm that's how we regain control

over our digital presence and more importantly over our Essence what is success to you this might seem like a simple question but it actually carries centuries of cultural and societal expectations for many success means achieving status wealth or recognition but do these definitions come from within or are they merely reflections of what Society teaches us to Value think of two people one works tirelessly to climb the corporate ladder accumulating material possessions and praise but feels a constant emptiness the other chooses a simple lifestyle focused on family friends and personal passions and finds satisfaction in small

moments which one is truly successful the answer of course depends on how each person defines success but the problem arises when we follow an imposed definition instead of the one that makes sense to us Carl Young offers a powerful perspective on this for him living in harmony with the inner self is more valuable than achieving any external recognition true success according to Yung lies in aligning our choices with our deepest values and needs rather than seeking approval or adhering to standards that don't resonate with our Essence it's difficult to redefine the meaning of success in

a world that constantly pushes us in a specific Direction social media advertising and even Social Circles often tell us what we should strive for to be considered successful however the real power lies in questioning these definitions and creating your own success isn't about how many people you impress but about how aligned your life is with your values ask yourself what makes you feel that your life has purpose and meaning it could be something as simple as nurturing good relationships or contributing to something bigger than yourself what matters is that this definition comes from you not

from external expectations being authentic is like taking a deep breath after years of holding it in in a world where so many people live to please others embracing who you truly are becomes not just a relief but a transformative act authenticity allows us to live with ease without the need to shape our actions and choices to fit other people's expectations but why does this feel so challenging imagine someone who decides to open up and share their vulnerabilities their fears failures and struggles at first this exposure might feel daunting after all what if others judge them

but by showing up genuinely this person discovers something surprising their honesty doesn't push others away it brings them closer deeper connections form and they realize that being true to themselves attracts those who truly value who they are no filters no masks Carl Young said loneliness does not come from being alone but from being unable to communicate what is important to us being authentic means communicating this Essence even if not everyone understands it authenticity doesn't demand Perfection but truth and by being honest with ourselves we create the space to live in Greater alignment and Inspire others

to do the same of course there is a price not everyone will accept who you truly are but the freedom that comes from living without pretense outweighs every challenge it's like trading a paved path for your own Uncharted Trail less predictable but far more genuine when you choose authenticity life stops being about roles to play and becomes about the stories you write more challenging but infinitely more meaningful so ask yourself what happens when you live your Your Truth this shift not only redefines your life but also plants the seeds for others to do the same

authenticity is contagious and it's through this that it transforms the world around us the pursuit of approval might seem like an inevitable path but it doesn't have to be the only one throughout life throughout we're taught to believe that pleasing others is essential but this pulls us away from what truly matters living in alignment with our own values when we let go of this need we find that emotional Freedom doesn't come from meeting others expectations but from acting in accordance with what is true for us have you ever stop to think about what it means

to live authentically it's not about cutting all ties or disregarding opinions but about creating a healthy relationship with them it's about understanding that others approval might be a byproduct but should never be the goal more than that it's about allowing yourself to explore who you are without the pressure of fitting into molds that don't reflect your true Essence authenticity is transformative when we live genuinely we create room for deeper more meaningful connections relationships that emerge from this place of honesty not only free us from the pressure to please but also Foster environments where others feel

safe to be themselves so ask yourself what choices would you make if no one were watching what parts of yourself are still hidden out of fear of judgment looking inward is an ongoing process but it's through this that we find purpose and meaning cutting the strings of social validation isn't about isolating yourself it's about setting yourself free and when that happens the world starts to feel more open more straightforward more yours speaking of authenticity and real connections I want to take this moment to open my heart and thank you for being here with me with

all my love I want to express how grateful I am for reaching 2 subscribers every comment like and view carries a trust in my content that means so much to me I deeply value the opportunity to share ideas and hear your opinions I'm always striving to bring my best fix mistakes and grow with every suggestion and piece of feedback I receive thank you so much for this exchange for being here and for contributing your perspectives to the topics we discuss what motivates me to keep going is knowing that this space is filled with engaged curious

people who are willing to reflect on what truly matters you make this special and I'm immensely grateful to every one of you who follows shares or interacts thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here