The COMMON HABITS That Keep People POOR! (How To Become Wealthy) | Alex Hormozi & Lewis Howes

this is like when we talk about these these perspectives that we have that are false that we think are true like this is this is what I thought reality was and it was false and I've tried to I couldn't even fathom the goal because literally how I thought I was achieved was wrong you don't make a billion dollars I think you gotta have a dream the school of greatness really yeah please welcome I made this tweet that was just like how to stay poor right because I'm a big Charlie Monger guy right because everyone's like

I was talking about how to get rich I was like let me tell you how to get poor like no one's ever told you how to get for us I gotta stay pork right um and so I made a tweet and it like blew up and so then the next day I made another tweet on how to stay poor and then it blew up again and then I made another tweet and so like 28 days in a row I just tweeted another way to stay poor um and it ended to become this big thing and

we made a video on YouTube and I just Consolidated 28 and so um they're surprisingly simple and the reason I talk about them in the anti is that Charlie mugger talks about inversion thinking and so when we try and solve problems it's actually easier to solve them in reverse and especially when it comes to like making money and things like that because we are naturally programmed to look out for threats and so it's so much easier for us to find problems and things than it is like why is this much harder to be grateful than

it is to find problems sure so easy to find problems but you can you can trick your mind into using that naturally ingrained uh mechanism but to make you prosper but you just trick it by saying I want you to tell me how to stay poor you're like hey brain tell me how to destroy my business and you think about every way that you could destroy your business and if you really want to add a little juice to it you say how could I destroy my business in as few decisions as possible and then you

reverse those decisions and you say these are the Strategic anchors that fuel our business right like if I had an email marketing business like the first thing I would do is stop sending emails right it's first thing I would do the second thing I do is probably like treat my entire team like crap and if I didn't incentivize them to do things that would be against the benefit of the business right so it's like you think through those few moves that would have the biggest swing on destroying your business and those become the anchors for

your strategy right so wow from a personal perspective you can think about the same way in terms of like rather than saying like I want to get rich how do I get rich it's like how do I stay poor and then avoid that and then by default become do the opposite yes so number one is how to stay poor start tomorrow whatever it is oh that's a good one just start tomorrow whatever yeah just wait yeah fine no number one number two read books do nothing so just keep reading keep consuming take no action it's

the best way to just stay poor right because because that one's a good one because it makes you feel like you're making progress but you're still poor because you didn't do anything next one take advice from poor people on how to get rich right yeah best per best people to talk to right you know all your friends are poor you should totally listen to them on how to get rich because they've never achieved it so you should listen to them it's a great way to stay poor they have no idea right right don't don't listen

so and obviously with each of these you can take the equal opposite and so instead of tardy tomorrow start today instead of reading books and doing nothing read the books and then take immediate action instead of taking advice from poor people on how to get rich take advice from rich people now you're rich number four how to say poor pick a spouse who makes you feel guilty about working oh man that's the worst yeah have the number one person in your in your who who literally influences you more than anyone else make you feel terrible

about the thing that's going to help you achieve your goal that's who you should do of course you want to find somebody who supports your goal who's either in it with you or they're cheering you on from the sidelines yes and the real thing is that most people don't even have a cheerleader most people have somebody who's at home doesn't even have the channel turned to the game that they're playing on and is just calling their cell phone the whole time while they're on the game and the game's online they're trying to make this winning

pass and trying to get them to get out of the game when the game's on the line that's what most people have right and so like people think they have a cheerleader when like most people just benefit from not even having a liability just a neutral yes number five think the world is fair most people will sit there and complain for years about how the world isn't fair rather than accepting the fact the world isn't fair and then making money as a result of that yes right they just sit there fail once quit forever great

one for staying for so you finally get the the the the the the Mojo to actually start fail once and then just quit just do that because that'll help you stay poor because yeah the worst thing you could do is try again because if you try it again you might get rich right yeah how to stay poor expect the government to save you right so handouts bailouts yeah because that's going to get you rich is literally something that doesn't provide money handing you money like you have to provide value to get rich it's never going

to get disproportionately shifted to you how to support value the opinion of others over your own it's a great one right because all the people around you especially if you're poor probably are also poor and you should value their opinions who don't like the stuff that you're doing that makes them feel bad about themselves because when you start working you stop not drinking you start going to work like to exercise start eating healthier you start listening to to podcasts you start watching YouTube videos they walk in hey why don't you on Netflix it's like all

right I just I want to watch this right now oh come on more that motivation stuff like yeah just get people like that in your corner and they will just beat you down until eventually uh you won't be successful so that'll just keep you there it's a good one it's a good one to have in your back pocket um how to stay for it avoid discomfort as soon as it gets uncomfortable just stop stop yeah all day long this is what heart feels like ick yucky Bears um how does the abort make promises break promises

repeat yeah that's it so just keep making promises and then breaking them over and working over and over yeah and especially to yourself yes how to stay poor tolerate mediocrity from yourself first and foremost and others there you go yeah I mean it's the best thing to do is just a bunch of mediocre people around you and especially yourself uh how to support blame your circumstances put all the power that would normally be in you and give it to something that you have to control over it's a it's a winner it's a great combo um

this is a good one how to say poor wait for perfect conditions oh yes I mean because you're coming eventually eventually they're coming and you know what it also means is that if you wait for perfect conditions it means that if in the future after you've started in your perfect condition if the conditions become imperfect again it assumes that you'll stop yeah perfect right it's just like saying um I'll I'll start when I'm not as busy it's like does that mean that when you get busy and again in the future you're gonna stop for all

those people who are trying to start their weight loss Journey uh by the way if you want it to be forever then you have to this is a belief I can give to the audience real quick if you want it to be forever then you have to assume that you're going to be busy again in the future and so if you want to endure the best time to start is when you're busy because then you learn how to do it when you're busy so that when you're not busy it's easy and when you're busy again

you can think I've already done this before I know I can get through it because I've done it yes evidence right right so it's one of my favorite ones um how to support do what everyone else is doing it's just such an easy one nothing unique no just do whatever what else is doing because I mean think about it if you want to be the top one percent don't act like the one person act like the 99 absolutely right I mean that's the easiest way yeah just emulate the people who are also not succeeding it's

just a winning it's a winning combo um how to stay poor avoid working on what matters most right so just distract yourself sometimes yeah 100 just do busy work do things that don't actually add value um do stuff that it just like gets you you know gets your juices flowing but actually doesn't drive the business because you just love continually editing the same thing over and over again rather than just making the 100 cold calls that you said you were going to do and you haven't done for 10 days straight instead of doing that which

you know is going to make you more money be afraid of it yeah and avoid working on it absolutely there you go it's perfect it's a winning combo how's paper work um do your best not what it takes so many people they're like I did my best right and and the real talk is like did you really and then the second line underneath of that is that oftentimes when we start our best is beneath what is required and the the Sub sub answer of that is that we just need to be better absolutely and so

rather than than wanting you know like it's the classic like don't want it to be easier you know want to be better but it really does come down to that a lot of people lament the fact that what their best was given and it was not enough and they Lament The Game rather than limiting themselves and being like how do I improve how to stay poor oh this is a good one prioritize looking Rich over being rich yeah by the Gucci bags buy the fancy cars and just go in the debt spend the small amount

of excess money you have on looking wealthy rather than increasing your earning capacity absolutely it's just it's the fastest way because then also then you'll never be able to get out of it yeah right because you're stuck in these leases and you don't have excess cash flow to actually invest in the earnings power so you basically just sit there looking rich and being poor the whole time and then you also feel like fraud which is a it's just a side note yeah yeah it's a really it's what I recommend yeah side quest um how to

support be born in a dead end town don't move yeah stay there stay there stay in the bad environment yeah it's just I mean if you're like I want to get into Show Business and I'm in Cincinnati it's like then stay in Cincinnati it's the best thing you can do yeah how to stay poor say you're going to do something don't do it it's just that's just a winner that's that's a Timeless classic how to stay poor talk more do less especially if you talk publicly you know what I mean and and do nothing as

a result of it it's always say the things you're gonna do and this never do them yeah because it actually makes you feel better to tell people that you're going to do them because it makes you feel like you're doing them by telling them but reality hasn't changed at all but you feel better right and it's a great way to stay for it um because it just it satisfies that temporary Edge right when you feel bad you talk about it more right and then you feel better I'm going to do this yeah because when you

feel better about it once you've talked how to stay poor start something new today start something new tomorrow repeat every day I start something new 100 start building that bridge and then start building another Bridge tomorrow and another bridge and then you look back five years from now and you have a whole bunch of half-built bridges and no dollars that ever came across that's great but the nice thing is it makes you feel like you're making progress because you have all these half belt Bridges so I think that's a that's a good one if you

want to say more because you could stay busy on that one for a long time a long time yeah because if you focused on something you might actually follow through and then you might make money and so that's not the that's not the goal of staying for so you have to do that um how to stay poor believe what other people think of you more than what you think of you right yeah because those opinions are so important you know your parents especially so deep controls on the internet oh absolutely and I'm going to say

is so read and believe all the comments read and believe that should be another one I should probably add that to it um how to support be replaceable this is also really for the employees if you can think of a way that you can do the same thing everyone else can do and do it a little bit worse I mean that's easy yeah it's a good way to stay poor um how to support complain about things you can control and then don't change them yeah yeah it's just like can I control what I put in

my mouth what I eat yeah yeah okay absolutely oh but I don't want to change them you complain about it though okay guys yeah there you go got it um how support make a mistake repeat the mistake every day yeah especially if you date a certain kind of person it's always the same person just do it again just do that kind of good yeah you get stuck at a certain point of business because you always get sidetracked and you start some side thing and then both things explode do it again wow you know what I

mean like you hire a terrible manager that has these traits hire them again right it looks like the same person just repeat it over and over again it'll just ensure they just keep giving them more and more chances yeah you know even better right yeah when they come back they can just let them back in um how to say poor assume you're always right always right yeah even if I'm wrong assume I'm right yeah and if somebody has advice who's further along than you don't listen yeah I mean because you're always right and what would

they know well they've never lived your life they've never gone through what you're about to go through the best thing to do is experience every mistake for yourself never have a mentor right uh I mean that's 29. oh yeah um how to say poor find something that works stop doing it because the thing is if you find something that works the best thing to do because like if you did it again you might build momentum right right and then do that right and then volume starts increasing you start getting better at it all right gotta

you gotta nip that in the butt if something works get distracted and stop doing it it's a great one um how do people are hire dumb people this one is just yeah I mean like nothing destroys the company faster than you trying to destroy it then having lots of people trying to destroy it at the same time because it's just it's a more efficient way to destroy business uh than you just because you only have two hands but like if everyone is destroying the building in the company like you can do it way faster uh

need permission to be rich right wait for somebody to make room for you wait for somebody to invite you to a seat at the table uh wait for uh those podcasts to just invite you wait for permission because everybody at the top wants to see you there too yeah there you go right uh last one uh how to say poor focus on your lack of resources rather than your lack of resourcefulness oh that's a good one what's the one that you would add to it that that has come to you in the last you know

period of time um changed my mind when it feels hard whenever something feels hard change direction do you think affirmations help people make more money or have more belief in themselves to be able to earn potential I think if they believe they do they do so it's like you know I think Admiral mcraven said you know he had that Cliff that went by all that like everything starts with you know making your bed making her bed exactly and if you make making your bed mean I am somebody who follows through with my with my commitments

if I if I start with making my bed then the next thing is going to get easier and you those are the things that you believe as a result of making your bed then by all means but making your bed does not make you sell more stuff right making your bed does not make you make more content making your bed does not get you to improve your product right but if you make making your bed mean something else then sure but I try to cut as many of those uh transmutations out and just get to

the core as fast as I can just take action right yeah which is like how do we wake up and then do the thing so that's you know um so to the the degree affirmations uh are important I think they're important if the person thinks they're important um but I think the thing that affirmations are linked to are the beliefs that we have about ourselves and so that belief that you have needs to be reshaped into something closer to what reality reflects which you can either do by the stories we tell ourselves right it can

be by the evidence that you present yourself which is something that I obviously cling very hard to evidently um or it can be uh something that you that probably probably has been something that you've been told your whole life that you don't even know you believe which is my other favorite quote the one that'll probably be my Tombstone is we question all of our beliefs except for those that we truly believe and those we never think to question who's that by Orson Scott Card speaking of the beliefs were taught as kids do you think you

ever want to have kids right now no um eventually maybe but at this season like if Layla got pregnant tomorrow we'd have the kid you know what I mean but it's right now like our baby is acquisition.com and all the stuff we're putting out right and um you know we went to Tony Robbins thing and talked about the six human needs and both of us were looking at it and we're like this is why we haven't had the desire to have kids because it made sense to us it's because all of our needs are being

met through the machine right and so one of the things too is because Layla works with me a lot of times entrepreneurs they're Tony was talking about this how his um many entrepreneurs don't have this huge desired effect some of them do but many of them don't and so they have kids because their wife wants to have kids because not all of her human needs are being met right right and so that's where you get a little bit of you know a little bit of friction that's okay uh but for us since we're both in

the business I mean Layla's CEO I'm really just founder and she definitely does more actual work than I do in terms of running this of the business so like we both get our you know contribution uh you know all the all the aspects of human needs from that and so for now uh we're good just playing the game based on what you were taught from your parents around money based on what you know now obviously not a parent yet uh what would be three things you would want to instill in your kids or that you

wish parents taught their kids about money about money to set them up for yeah you know good beliefs around money so that at least they're they have a good foundation yeah I had very good personal finance hygiene that was taught for my parents so I another thing I was given right so number one is just spend significantly less than you make I always did that so that I just I got that just as a gift for coming to the world you didn't need more to feel good you needed to buy more things yes that was

always disconnected for me we my dad lives super cheap and I was used to that he lived far below his earning capacity so spend spend less than you make number one um the second one uh is I mean it's around what we're saying which is that excess money like we're talking about investing like the best investment is in increasing your earning capacity is that you should be able to take that money and then invest it in a skill that makes you more money over time than it cost you to get it number two um number

three is that the fastest way to make more money is to gain access or buy access to communities of people who are making more money because there are so many intangibles that come from those communities masterminds Facebook groups whatever you can get access to that you'll learn so many perspectives that you have that around like it's too hard to quantify one because there's thousands of micro beliefs and so it's it's spend less than you make take the money that you're now saving and invest it in your earning capacity and then get around those people who

you want to emulate who are all on the same path as you because one of the best ways to become an amazing swimmer is to join a champion swim team because you get all like Angela Duckworth looked at this inside of grit that book uh her book it's like one of the best ways is that you just adopt all of the culture the the beliefs of the group of people who are further ahead and so those are those are the three things that probably the biggest influence what's the what's what's the thing to look out

for for people that earn a lot of money if they're not prepared for the money uh what is the biggest challenge that might happen to them if they're not emotionally psychologically physically prepared for money big amounts of money that come into their lives I think you have to have a plan for the money like you got to know what you're going to do with it I think so there's there's so like if you're having an exit or something like that right I think there's two big things one is if you're actually exiting a business per

se I think you need to have a plan of what you're going to do next because the big difference I see between the entrepreneurs who had big exits and are awesome now and are even better and the ones who haven't is that they had a plan what they're gonna do next so I feel really grateful because I'm happier now than I was even when I had the the first business because I knew this is what I wanted to do and that's part of the reason why I sold it because I was more excited about this

than my current thing and I couldn't live like that I was more excited about what I wanted to build wow and so I mean to be fair the day that I'm more excited about something else in acquisition.com then you'll move on to it and I'll move on but I don't because how big this bone is I think I can keep my Visions big enough that I can keep Reinventing It Anyways um so one is having a plan for your next and then the second is having a plan for the money that you get and now

those might not be necessarily um mutually exclusive like part of the money you get might be to invest in the next thing you want to do but I think just having a plan for it rather than just being surprised by it and then trying to figure it out once you have it right because the emotions around getting it also shift your thinking so it's it's better in my opinion to plan for it before you have the emotional experience because we're human we experience things and that impacts our thinking in a negative way from a logic

perspective so we can make the plan before we become emotional and we can always go back to the plan that we made when we weren't when we didn't have those feelings real quick I got a question for you what if I told you one of the key secrets to making more money has to do with your mindset I've spoken with some of the most successful entrepreneurs investors and thought leaders over on the school of greatness podcast over the past 10 years and there's no doubt about it your mindset absolutely absolutely matters and that's why my

team and I created a quiz to find your money mindset for you it's totally free and it's a valuable way to understand your own unique perspective about money abundance and Financial Freedom so if you want to learn more about your money mindset click the link to get started right now what happens when we tie our emotions around the money that comes in not like we're so excited or we're like oh we're like scared of it what happens when emotions are connected to money in a negative way well when it goes away you feel worse about

yourself what's interesting about that question the reason I was hesitating is because almost every guy that I know who's had who's had a windfall of some kind some big win some big cash thing almost all of them actually I haven't had any of them that I've met to this point say they felt any different and I think it's because you don't have context to to process the information because it's so much typically if it's a big windfall it's so much outside of like your realm of understanding size that it just you you get basically no

reading right neutral you're just neutral like no one's happy no inside they're just like yeah then the whole bunch of money showed up right right now what do I do right I guess I'm the same as it was yesterday like you realize that nothing actually changes in your life which then you get evidence you get evidence that nothing changed and you're like oh shoot I guess I have to deal with all these things anyways right yeah and it's getting back to like what's my purpose now it's my vision now yeah to sell a thing yeah

but I will say that you get a certain amount of credibility which is helpful right that I mean that absolutely does help um if especially if that's a line for what you want to do next you know I got so much more credibility for Jim Lodge when we sold than we had when we owned it even though technically our money net worth was higher when I owned it because I hadn't had a tax event as a result of the liquidity right and so technically I was richer before I did the sale but I got more

credibility after so just kind of interesting so you said you want to do a billion and then to get it to 10 billion what will you do with the billion and what would you do with the 10 billion once you have it what's the plan so I won't have it because it'll just be the asset that I own right um and so all we're going to do is just keep doubling down on the main thing I mean the big Epiphany that I had was I had probably three stages of my own development in terms of

understanding a billion dollars right because when I started out a billion dollars it's like even too hard even fathom right but then I started think okay to be a billionaire I have to make a billion dollars a year that's what I thought being a billionaire was that was the first thing that's not true this is like when we talk about these these perspectives that we have that are false that we think are true like this is this is what I thought reality was and it was false and I've tried to I couldn't even fathom the

goal because literally how I thought I was achieved was wrong you don't make a billion dollars you own worth a billion dollars that's how you become a billionaire so just fundamentally even the work the words and the verbs we use to describe the outcome are different huh interesting second phase for me was I have to make a billion two billion dollars over my career which after taxes are worth a million a billion dollars right that was my second phase of thinking what a billionaire was right in the third phase which is my current one hopefully

maybe I'll have one later right um is that you just have to own assets that other people would pay you a billion dollars for and so now that I also understand how businesses are valued Etc for a business to be worth a billion dollars conservatively um you'd probably have to do about 80 million dollars a year in profit in ebitda right and that would be valued at like 12 and a half times which is pretty conservative uh because I mean if you look at depending on the industry you're in yeah and you look at like

the s p five you know companies that are being publicly traded right now like 20 is fairly normal on the stock market for companies of that size and so you might be able to do it at 50 million in ebitda to have a billion dollar you know valuation for me I've set the goal at 100 um as my tactical goal so I need to do you know 2 million a week um in earned income from the assets that we have and then that conglomeration of assets would be worth at least a billion right um probably

two you know realistically so that's the that's the path um two billion now as I understand it and it's just you can see the the evolutions of like just even thinking through it and you're not even making it you're owning the thing because it's worth that sure sure what do you think are the three biggest skills you need to develop personally over the next few years yeah that will help you get there as well besides the one we already talked about yeah well I mean to consolidate that one it's I have to be more comfortable

with risk I am more risk-averse and I think I need to be more willing to go all in um than I am and so I have to be willing I have to be willing to put more on the line um period how much more do you need to put on the line you think how much how uncomfortable do you think you need to be for a few months until you feel like okay I'm more comfortable at this Baseline now very yeah I mean I'm super risk-averse I know like I'm so I'm so afraid of being

poor that I'm so afraid of being poor I've made all this money that's not afraid of being born you know you can measure how afraid of poor I am very um but yeah so the risk aversion piece is uh is number one is the thing that probably has to change um that's the biggest one I mean that's really the biggest because the other the other ones are tactical you know what I mean it's like okay uh I need to create more more unique content around certain subjects that I want to mix I have like some

shows and stuff that I'm coming up very excited about yeah very cool so that like that is one of the things you know like in terms of talent um it goes back to risk but uh Layla was talking to somebody who uh is is dating the former CEO of a massive top 10 company in in the US are like huge company and um she was saying that he doesn't hire anybody who doesn't make half a million dollars or more minimum like he doesn't even have them around him and I love that at the company yeah

I mean like his senior leaders yeah yeah exactly yeah and it was just compete actually ended up just recently quitting and starting his own startup and so he ended up flying 50 of the top candidates in from like Harvard and like all these places doing a full day of interviews with 50 candidates and then picking the 10 that he wanted or the five that he wanted to do his next thing right and all of them were like 500 base with you know multiple million dollars that they could make a year right and so for me

my perspective on Talent has consistently increased now I have some employees that make a million dollars a year like right now but not all of them right and so I just think that from a perspective standpoint I have to be more comfortable with even higher levels of players on my team and so who can execute high level tasks exactly yeah you don't have the time for it and it's because of risk you know I mean because whenever you you know it's it's always offensive what if they don't mess up it's 100 like when you're when

you hire a million dollar employee you're making a million dollar per year bet that you're going to make more than that on the talent that they're bringing to the table now all the best investments I've made have been besides in myself have been in other people you know I mean all of them across the board but it's I still have that fear you know what I mean um I have one or two employees that'll cross a million you know in income not all you know not all of them right another ones that were generating the

most sales and bringing in the most revenue for you yeah they're the most strategic yeah I can trust them to lead because they have that skill which means that I get even more leverage you know I mean because they can they can go in Parachute already know what the problem is already know what the solution is build the team around it and then they can lead it I don't even I'm not involved at all right and that's you know that's the difference and so I remember this is a I think it'll be an interesting corollary

but like or a side note but like I remember when I hired my you know my first 50 000 all your employees everybody before that was all minimum wage and I heard about fire my first 50 000 a year please it was a lot of money whoa and yeah and then I got so much out I was like this is this is what I'm talking about I need somebody like this right then I hired me for 70 000 a year employee and I was like oh my God like that is what I need I need

more people like this then I heard my first six figure year employee and it was like okay six figures has got to be the new Benchmark and then it was my first 250 000 year employee and then there's 500 000 on your employee and then hearing this story about 500 base with you know almost unlimited cap on all of these different roles of everyone being you know a million two million a year plus it's just another right it's it's funny it's like I have to it sounds ridiculous but like I have to learn these lessons

at every level you know what I mean we all do yeah yeah and every time I think I've learned and I'm sure there's another one that's like yeah don't take anyone who get paid less than 10 million like if they're not getting paid less than 10 million what are we talking about based on the scale you're at I mean they got totally these people have you know 15 20 years of experience probably they've done this before so it's yeah it's all based on where you're at you know some people when you're starting out you might

need a minimum wage person totally yeah you can't afford these things right but of course based on where you're at the risk you're willing to invest in yeah and there are I have friends who've like I I have a good buddy of mine who went on a four-month hiring process to find like a you know like a 350 000 lead of his team right he hired the recruiter which is expensive then he did three or four months of interview process this guy was like a former vice president at some big company that was exactly what

he wanted and after three months it didn't work out yeah and he spent all this money yeah and he gave his big salary and it didn't work out and so you have to also be aware that not everyone is going to be this no oh they're outperforming everyone else and if I could just find more people and pay them all this money you have to learn the skill of leading yeah you have to learn the skill of culture of a building of also managing yeah or having someone else who can do that so yes and

yeah it's also a risk yeah we had a we had a CTO that we hired for our software company that we ended up selling um we paid I think 140 000 for the just a Headhunter just for that Hunter yeah I mean that height you know it's Tech you don't really like to get that kind of talent just to find the talent yeah just to find the talent not even pay them just find the talent and um we fired him three days later oh my gosh and that was after three or four months of like

interviews and vetting all that stuff and um it was just we like just immediately we're like this was wrong like all these it just it was immediately wrong and so like yeah like I've been there like it sucks and it's not fun yeah and I think this is the risk of being an entrepreneur it's not for everyone right it's not easy at times yeah it can be you know that's why a lot of people fail at it or they're just like oh this is not for me yeah and I respect that too it is freaking

hard man every day you've got to overcome a challenge yeah you know one of the things that Layla said um yesterday in her talk is she's like you know if I had one thing that I would I'd wish it would be like Left Behind for me so this is me just stealing Layla stuff um is I want to normalize hard just like a lot of people feel things are hard they get stressed and then they have another voice that judges them for the stress just like if if if we could just change the narrative to

like it's hard comma and or comma of course it is comma it's okay I expect it to be hard why wouldn't it be hard it would be unreasonable for it to be easy if it were easy everyone would do it and then it wouldn't be worthwhile yeah and so like if what I remember this um this is a two-minute story but I think it'll it'll it'll go it'll drive home so way back in another life I was in a fraternity many many many lives ago what school is Vanderbilt yeah and uh during the pledging process

invariably two weeks in it was like clockwork two weeks in they were almost the whole pledge class would come together and try and quit it happened every year so I got you I mean the first time it happened they're trying to make you quit no they try and quit the process and say I don't want to do this this is not what we thought it was going to be this is way too hard blah blah blah blah right every time because it was such a shift in reality of like parties and finally whatever and then

you're pledging and you get none of that at least that's how it was in our school it's like no drinking you have to study all the time you can't talk to girls like it was this whole thing anyways it was just the point was to make it make them commiserate so they get closer together that was all going to process anyways so I remember when I was president I got to deal with it right and so I'm the whole the whole class was there you know a little punch class and I said hey guys who

here when you started thought this was going to be easy no one raised their hand I was like who here expected it to be hard and they all raised their hand and I was like I want you to pause once you close your eyes I was like this is what hard feels like this is what it feels like the feeling you have right now is hard I was like and that's what you said you expected I was like you just didn't know what it felt like and so I think a lot of people are in

the entrepreneurial game and they expect it to be hard they expect the word but they don't know the feeling of hard I'm like it's okay it's hard and you persist and you keep going and so for me like learning what hard feels like I think once you learn it it's like oh there you are my old friend right this is hard and that's why it's worth it yeah and I think you get more comfortable with hard where it doesn't feel hard anymore you're like okay I've done this for five years now I'm used to this

I'm familiar with it yeah I've learned how to manage my emotions my feelings around it I'm becoming a better leader to myself totally and so this is more Norm yeah it's not hard and and as a fun one The Heart the feeling of the heart changes so it's like when you're you know in the beginning the heart is that you don't know what you're doing you just feel like an idiot all the time just ignorant right you're like you're like I have no idea what I'm doing right um and then the feeling is the giving

up of control right once you're into the you know seven-ish Figures it's like you have to give up control you have to you can't control delivery anymore you can't control you can't get on every sales call like you have to give up control and that's hard and trust people it's different but it's hard it's just different right and then as you start making more money then then it gets around Focus you can't pursue every opportunity you want like in the beginning you did because you only reported to you but now you have an entire company

that you're that you're responsible for and you have to really allocate resources and you're like I've got this idea for the show I can't start it yet I really want to but I can't start it yet and it might not be for it might not be for a year and you got to be like okay with that and it's a different kind of hard right so like at every level like in the if anyone's curious the one after that is that like your character how you spend your time outside of work starts to come into

question because the level of talent you're able to attract is going to be attracted to who you are as a person and the values that you espouse that you represent right and so you're like well what I do in my own time shouldn't be anyone else's problem right it's my own life doesn't work that way humans can't separate things like that they just see you for who you are all on the field and off the field right and so it's like you have to start changing things like if you're somebody who drinks it and does

a ton of drugs hey more power too it's legal it just might not be what everyone thinks is what they want to admire and and emulate right right and so it's like it's a different kind of heart and so one is about being one it's about control it's about Focus one's about ignorance right it's at each level the heart changes but you're like there you are my old friend I was waiting for you to show up again this is the heart and being able to identify which thing you need at every level is that's where

the mentors come in because they'd be like this is the next thing that's going to come up here we want to get distracted you got to keep doing the thing or like right now I think you need to quiet this outside stuff in your life because like it's a distraction you're not going to be able to attract the talent you need to get to the next level they're not going to like that right and then you have to you have to change right yes inspiring stuff man um I want people to follow you oh thanks

man they can go to uh hermosi dot or I guess hermosi on Instagram and also on YouTube is that Alex yeah Alex if they type Alex Rosie anywhere else yeah but your YouTubes have been blown up your Instagram your Tick Tock also if you're a business owner and you want to partner with you go to acquisition.com to learn more about that process you can apply there uh this book is really powerful a lot of people have gotten this how many copies have you sold now it's a couple 200 and something thousand a couple hundred thousand

so if you guys want to learn more this will be an amazing investment for you I think it's you know the digital version is only a few bucks I think 99 Cents for anybody yeah so uh it'll be a great dollar investment for yourself make sure you check this out if you're looking to really maximize your offers and build your business check this book out it's really powerful great examples again you do a great job of creating Frameworks which I like you know it's like the you make it simple for someone like me who can't

read but the images you know and the framework so I can visualize success I had to make them simple for someone like me that's why let's go big Pages big spaces yeah exactly but if you guys want to learn more make sure you check this out what is the thing you're most passionate about right now is it the content uh in the content world is it the long form YouTube stuff is it the Instagram what's the place we should go follow you if they're going to pick one place YouTuber podcast yeah those are the two

I mean too podcast is doing really well yeah man yeah number two on entrepreneurship I saw that man it's big yeah I'm trying I'm trying to be like you man I'm trying to be like you it's awesome man um and what's the biggest results you've seen from your podcast and YouTube growth what's the biggest benefit you've seen it's just been you know people tagging me on and I mean like I don't I don't the only thing we quote advertise is that yes if you're a company doing you know 10 million a year or more ideally

if you're a little below that we'll look at the deal but um you know if it just allows me to just talk to more cool business owners so the more the podcast grows the more cool interesting businesses come our way and and we get to grow them and that's like I don't know if I shared this last time so we did our stats on um because now we've been doing it for two years uh and so the average community that we work with increases their top line by 1.8 times in the first 12 months and

triples their profit in the first 12 months amazing in the next 12 months uh the average company uh increases their profit by 4.2 I think it's 4.27 times or 4.75 it's one there's a four and a seven in it um not bad yeah in the in the next 24 months it's like we can almost 5x the profit of the companies the first 24 months and so uh that's just the average so yeah it's cool we love doing it it's uh that's the stuff we live for I mean like I've never been more amped to do

what we're doing what do you feel like your future Mentor self when it hits the billion dollar valuation would say to yourself now if you were three years out five years out whenever you hit this billion dollar evaluation and you could speak to yourself yeah from the future yeah what would your Mentor feed yourself say to you right now that you need to hear keep having fun yeah because I mean it would be like if I had hit that at that point you'd be like keep doing it like everything you're doing you got here because

you're having a good time so just don't lose track of that because in three generations everyone's just gonna forget that you're alive No One's Gonna remember your name you're not gonna be the greatest all the time because if you did your job someone else would be even better and younger than you and so like the only point of the game is to play and just it would just remind me of something that I already know to be true but it would just be from future me hopefully who would just say it perfectly to my partner

just become a new person or transform and I'd Ascend you know what I mean and a Halo of light but that's that's hopefully would happen love it man yes thanks for being here brother appreciate it man great stuff if you got value from that then go ahead and stick around for more coming up right now what was the the habit or the switch from one year to the next that started to bring in more abundance financially not in a incremental 20 but it was like boom this was 5x 10x what was that habit or mindset

shift for you that started to develop more income so um there's like the the science and the art kind of both sides so like the science side is just the leverage so the amount of money you make is proportional the amount of Leverage you employ in your life and so you know four types of Leverage that's not mine the system of all rubicons but I'll just say that yeah so you've got labor I call it I use four C's because these are for me to remember he says labor I say collaboration so funny that you

said that right yeah but it's just getting other people to basically use their time right for your cause the second level of Leverage is other people's money is getting people to invest in your thing and then the next two are so these two are permissionless the first ones like you need to get someone's permission to work for you and you get someone's permission to get you give you their money the other two are permissionless so you can do them on your own one is Media which is what you have here because the cost of making

one video and having one person see it versus a million people see it is the same cost yeah right and then the other is code right so I say content in code so there's my four C's so collaboration Capital content code and both of them those are not binaries it's not am I using other people am I not using other people it's to what extent am I using other people am I do I use other people's money yes or no no it's how much of other people's money am I using and so each of these

are continuums not binaries so like somebody could just use other people's money and be a billionaire because of the extent they use it but those are the types of Leverage that exist and so as my income went up it was by proportion of the amount of Leverage I was employing really how are you what are these four were you leveraging the most so in the beginning I had no leverage because I was an employee right I was using my own time the next thing that I started doing was I became self-employed right so I had

a little online training business that I started in between my quitting my job and and starting the gym and so when I started the gym I started getting labor was the first people yeah not a lot of it but I got some of it and so that gave me that first next year I went from part-time interns yeah yeah five I went from five thousand dollars a month to I think about thirty thousand dollars a month um so that was the that was the big jump it was just I had a team you know I

made a small team but I had a team right now that's overall in Revenue that's not your take sales you might have been losing money already we made we I made I made I was probably making 20 000 a month at that point for yourself yes after expenses a team and everything yeah that was then and then what did that feel like going from five to twenty did that make you feel something different was there a shift inside of you when you took that action because for me when I started this it was all about

vanquishing my father so it was all about I was a middle eastern father only child so like I was raised by a single dad it's just me and him that was it for the vast majority of my life and so he's Middle Eastern came here the thousand dollars became a DOT or he was a doctor came here learned English from watching television you know what I mean has the American success story absolutely that's amazing and so I was born here though speaking of the language too French was my first actually there's a whole story around

it but anyways but yeah French yeah how many languages you speak that's the best one I I'll just leave it but all of it was about making him proud right um so that's why you did you set out to do that that's what I was trying to do and then I think that throughout my like adolescence I realized that it was something that was always going to be withheld from me so it didn't matter what it was the goal post would always move so that it would never be proud enough right and it was just

it was because he wanted the most out of me and so like if I got let's say you know a 99 on a test it wasn't congratulations it's what'd you get wrong oh man right and that was always what it was it's okay like I yeah we're cool I'm very happy with my life yeah yeah and I realized that and so this desire to gain approval turned into a very deep anger um and so towards the world him yourself other people mostly him mostly him um and most like him and myself probably split probably 50

50. you know and um and so it was like my earlier I'll say quote Success was purely fueled by rage like it wasn't it wasn't like it was it was rage you know what I mean I was in the same boat yeah yeah and it was like and I but there was probably some element of me that's like almost enjoyed the suffering because then it like I just would get in the space when when you ask like how did I feel yes by getting the extra 20 000 a month first my goal was to make

as much as my dad and then it was to make more than my dad and then it was to make more than my dad had ever made his whole life Wow and so once I had done that the the I wanted the success to be unquestionable like it couldn't there couldn't be a but there couldn't be an asterisk it had to be so undeniable that that vanquishing was the word right and so for a five-year period after I quit my job my dad did not support he didn't support me quitting my job why not and

because he didn't he's like you're what are you a gym owner like he's like you went to Vanderbilt you were on a management consulting correct he's like you got you know you got above Harvard's mid score for your you could have had an incredible career of course right right gym owner doesn't sell well on cocktail parties right right uh you know he's uh he's figuring himself out yeah let's do this Little Gym who will sniff out right and so and I mean I made plenty of mistakes too when I had the gym so it wasn't

like all you know sunshine and rainbows for me like I had a lot of mess-ups that I did I got in bad Partnerships I mean like all the things that you could possibly do and over that five year period of me scaling to six locations with my with my facilities at the end of that whole thing I ended up losing it all really yeah lost everything six locations lost the whole business well I sold it I sold five of them I shut one of them down um because I wanted to start doing this Jim launch

thing which would be like flying around doing turnarounds because I started that's when I met Layla um you find a gym that's kind of like not succeeding and trying to fly in yeah when you do a makeover exactly Bar Rescue same thing like the same exact thing she found a TV show with it believe me the many regrets I have right that would have been an awesome one we did 32 turnarounds wow it was almost two years yeah and so um we we started doing that and anyways I lost everything um because I took all

the sale money and I put it into my last location and then the partner that I had there siphon the money out um because I was like yeah like well I'll put all the money from the sale of these gyms into this thing it doesn't matter um it was my own mistake it was on me um but it was even then it was you know we'll see you know we'll see how like this isn't real like we'll see and then once I started once Jim Waltz really started taking off it wasn't until I think we

did like 17 million in ebitda like profit take home um in one year in one year that my dad I was 27. that's crazy my dad my dad called me and he's like are you sitting down I remember like at this point look we were like not talking too much you know maybe every few months it'd be like a five minute phone call and so I was like sure yeah I got time what's up he's like you're gonna want to hear this and I was like okay what he's like I'm sorry and it was the

first time he never apologized to me in my life and um what's interesting to me though is that it didn't feel like anything I didn't care why not because I had stopped caring about what he thought about me a long time ago and it was like when I quit my job was the day that like I I accepted dying to my father because because very much to me at that point was I was I was really really sad at that point in my life when I had the job because I had really done everything that

he had wanted me to do I finished Vanderbilt in three years as president of fraternity uh I had won writing Awards I'd done like a bunch like I'd done everything you know I mean I was in I was vice president of the powerlifting theme like yeah every Club all the stuff yeah while while still being president and did it in three years right and got a management consulting job that was like a good job had all the credibility and it just I knew it wasn't enough and I knew that and so I knew that the

choice for me was that I either had to die to him or I had to die to myself wow and that was ultimately like the choice that that I put in front of myself and that was whenever I was like maybe I should just get I was like die to him or die to you and so that was what gave me the the the the confidence to to break that and then I physically moved because I couldn't be in the same area wow so I actually went 23 at this point yeah so I called my

dad when I was like in Ohio and I'm from Baltimore it was for you I called him when I was there and I was like hey by the way I'm doing the gym thing he was like okay he's like why don't you come over we'll talk about it because he knew because he knew that like if he came over with enough battering I would be like fine I know this is a smart thing I'll take the you know I'll apply to you know booth and Harvard whatever and I'll get the I'll do that whole thing

and that because that was a cycle I just kept doing that and I was just like no I'm not going to do it so I was like well I can't I'm in Ohio he was like what do you mean and then the tone totally shifted and he was like you always do these crazy things and you're like he's like you're never balanced it's always extreme with you there's no middle path and so um anyways I you know I did that five years gyms lost it all anyways and then started and then started gym launch and

then that's one and then that really took off sure and then um but when he called me and he apologized um and this is where I like you know I'm ashamed of myself but like I could have just let it lie and been like thanks appreciate it you know what'd you do instead um instead I said I was like you know when people get up on stage and they're like hey you know they get Awards and they're like hey Mom and Dad I just want to say thanks so much for always believing me I was

like I won't say that oh my gosh I was like because you never did I was like the only time you accepted me I was like is once every other person on this planet had accepted it too oh my gosh man and so that's so I said that's intense on the phone he said that yeah what do you say to that he said well we'll see how long it lasts oh my gosh so that was it was still kind of in competition with you yeah it's like and to be fair when he apologized he said

said you know I'm sorry he said but in my defense if it had been in my time I would have been right and so you know but all that to say like I should have just said like appreciate the apology you know thank you because you know Tony Robbins said something that I thought was really impactful was like for the vast majority of my life it's been like how my father shaped me or whatever but rather than thinking like what what can I use from this Dynamic like what gift do I have yeah like from

his mother kind of like beating him or whatever yeah exactly like what do I like what do I you know they're blaming for the good right and so like I have so many things to blame for good from that and I'm very very happy with my life that is why twenty thousand dollars a month didn't feel significant to me because the goal that I had my expectations weren't to make money my expedition was that I had to make more than he had ever made and so I had a very big vacuum to drive towards which

I think in a lot of ways was a gift because like I blew past a hundred thousand five hundred thousand a month million a month like I blew past those things because like it was never about having enough money for me it was about feeding this monster but once I got there I realized that what I had done was set up a game to win by my father's rules oh and so then I and you could never win right and to be fair would I want to win a game that I was wasn't for me

it was making you suffer sure you're playing the wrong game I'm playing his game yeah and so I did win but I wanted his game right right and so that was kind of what I think making that realization was It was kind of the the slow shift that happened from there so when you won the financial game or the game of like I've made more than you in a month or a year then you've made your whole lifetime yeah how do they make you feel and when did you realize you need to start playing a

different game and what would that game become okay there's three questions there what was the first one how do they make you feel the moment you crossed the finish line of the game of making so much more than he'd ever made in a short amount of time relief because we actually got a relationship back um not like you know I wouldn't say we have like sunshine right but like we have a functioning relationship I would say it's role-based like I'm a you know yes but what happened was we are both very like strong personalities and

it wasn't until I think that he accepted me as often our relationship that we were able to kind of like move forward again because before that my because my my dad's uh he's a doctor so he's always had you know like decent money and I wanted to be beholden to no one you know excluding including him like I didn't want his money I didn't want anything you know right and so I think I had to establish my own I had to like really plant my own flag to be seen as a man in his eyes

and so I think once that happened I think I thought there was some level of like there's no conflict here anymore like this is undeniable yeah this is beyond reproach yes I have a attractive wife who's really nice and awesome I have a business I'm in good shape and if you think about it like the way I mean I'm just being really real with you I blame my father for the many things that that I have become in a lot of ways right because everything that was not perfect was criticized right and so like I've

had six pack since I was 15. wow and it was because he used to always criticize everyone who was overweight and being that they're undisciplined and they don't they don't try hard right and then I've you know like and then it was like about having pretty good nice everything perfect women right yes not just pretty but like everything has to be perfect right and then and then making lots and lots of money and so it's like all of these elements I had to max out to again win it that game and but my whole life

was designed to be bulletproof was that so that I just wouldn't be criticized and so that was because that was what I I just I knew that if I could criticize myself harder than anyone could then if they did say anything it was never as mean as what I would say to me what's the meanest thing you say to yourself oh like it's all around just not being good enough right now I mean oh not now not now but this one yeah 100 and it was it was about being to be fair the actual thing

would just be being weak and so it's all about strength mentally emotionally physically financially everything just weak that's how you follow us yes you felt polished for your most your 20 teens and 20s for sure and so everything that I did was to counteract that right like what can I do which is big and strong as I can get yeah yeah I'm gonna make as much money as possible have all the women I can get yeah exactly 100 and that was and so I pushed against that to try and to quell that you know that

that need or that desire that feeling did it satiate that need when you had all those things yes and no yes because when I got there it forced me to change my perspective the perspective is what changed the way I felt basically realizing that those things were never going to solve anything is what allowed me to but and Les Browns I think says this where he says like everyone knows that money doesn't money doesn't make happening but everyone's like I'll see for myself and so I think it was one of those like I had to

cross all the like and I say this not as a as a slight to anyone else but like I had to check off the easy ones from the list which is like from getting in shape getting The Good Wife getting the money in the business all that stuff like those are circumstantial that means I can push with enough effort I can change my conditions I can change my surroundings in my environment and if I can change those things will they make me feel better and so I think once I knew beyond a shot of a

doubt that that couldn't that didn't work right um maybe they helped in some ways but not the internal ways so what did you have to shift your perspective or what was that shift yeah where you could still have it all and then have it all internally as well I think that the whole ego death concept that we were talking about the very beginning I try not to talk about this too much because I think it's it's um a lot of people find take offense to it and I don't mean it that way I sure this

is just what worked for me and not as a criticism of any anyone else's beliefs for me the idea that there was no such thing as Legacy that when I died eventually everything that I had would become dust and that anything expanded over a long enough time Horizon disappears right which if you are like Christian for example it's the whole book of Ecclesiastes um if you and I think the realization of that allowed me to quiet my ego a lot so that I could be more present in the idea that like this moment will only

be here in my mind and anything that I do here will not last and so it shifted how I worked it shifted how I saw relationships and a lot of my thinking is around like my 85 year old self I feel like my number one Mentor is like my fictitious 85 year old self because it's the only person that I really believe has my best interest at heart and it's no alternative motive and so there's this there's this tweet that I had that went pretty viral but it was like listening to a billionaire or a

millionaire I'll just use that like when I was in my 20s I wanted to be a millionaire and when I was a millionaire I wanted to be in my 20s and so the idea that my future self would trade all the money he had to be poured in 20 again made me really reanalyze how I saw living life in the moment if I literally in the future will value my present moment more than the achievement of the thing that I'm I'm seeking right now in the present then something's something's off because even my future self

knows that because right now I would pay all the money I have to get 10 years back it's not even thinking about it and so then all of what I'm going to achieve in the next 10 years I would happily give up to be right where I am right now and so I think thinking about that really shifted a lot for me because it helped me quiet I'm not saying eliminate but quiet some of the thoughts that are more ego driven because the ego always wants to like separate and isolate from others and prove that

it's better and if I know that it will all be dust there is no better because we're all going to be Dustin and so in that same way if like if we're all going to be Dustin we're all siblings like two very strong frames for me at least it helped me quiet that aspect and I think in that way I was able I think you can ask my people but like I think I was able to show up better as a leader there was better able to show up better as a husband um I'm sure

I better like to make content things like that like I don't think I could have made the stuff we make now five years ago because I still think it would have been more it would have been to proving something yes it was hot perfect 100 of improving proving someone proving a fictitious foe wrong right right they're all talking about right no one cares about it exactly and so that was really and it's like I had to shift from like no one cares about you to like I really want to have a shirt that says no

lives matter but I feel like it would be way too yeah no one cares about you yeah yeah but I feel but I think there's like a lot of like meat to that where it's like if we can because in that way we are all equal and so it's I think it's almost the most egalitarian perspective is that like in the end we will all be dust yeah and so I think in that way that's like we have these exchanges that we have um and in some ways it makes it more beautiful why do you

think so many people care about power and respect so much it usually was withheld from them I think I think the things that we are that were withheld from us are the things that usually we seek the most I think how many how many really successful guys have daddy issues you know what I mean so many yeah and so it's like okay well I didn't get his respect so I'm gonna have to compensate with my circumstances with my environment so that everyone respects me and some people do that through fear some people do that for

violence some people do that through success it really just depends what vehicle you choose but like the I feel like the Deep need is the same yeah there's something like I can't remember the statistic but a number of U.S presidents a big number of them like grew up without a father or their father died early in their life and there was I can't remember the status like 30 or 40 or something of like the U.S presidents lost their father I didn't have a father or something like that early on and it's like well you know

now they're going to go prove something or go to be something you know to what about the the habits that you learned of the wealthy people when she started to really earn it and scale your wealth were you studying wealth or were you just fixated and like how do I get one more customer and increase my prices make better product what did you learn about the habits of the rich I haven't learned much about the habits of the bridge at all to be very candid with you I think that maybe there are some beliefs that

because like my dad was a doctor I wouldn't say he was like you know ultra wealthy but like we lived in upper middle class you know lifestyle but in terms of like wealth as I think you and I would probably understand it I didn't know anything about that and I don't think I've ever really studied it very much I would say that my heroes now like I started studying wealth after I became wealthy so like what did you learn about it afterwards and what do wealthy people do that you think poor people don't do they

pick higher leverage opportunities in a sentence so like poor Rich Dad Poor Dad like Poor Dad says get a job Poor Dad says get a higher paying job like Rich Dad says like and the thing is there's so many innate beliefs that seem commonplace like well of course you know what I mean like well of course you know and you know you buy some real estate and you know it'll appreciate over time of course you invest in some stocks like yeah of course but like poor dads just don't say that and so you have to

like learn that I think and I didn't so I'm grateful in that I didn't have to learn that because I heard that just was a course yeah once you have some money like of course you don't spend your whole income of course you don't and so there's a lot of of course you don't that I think I I inherited just by being in like a saving father but there's also some upper middle class people who don't save anything so like right but I think my dad did a lot of I think he helped a lot

with like money hygiene I think I've had a lot of really good money hygiene from my dad the big the big breakthrough that I had for me was when I stopped focusing on and this is going to sound backwards but when I started my gyms I was all about building the business right and when I built the biggest companies that I've had and now recently sold and now we have our portfolio it was about how do we make the most money and I know that sounds completely backwards but the only way that you can make

the most money is to provide an exceptional valued service and charge a ton of money for it and because I optimized around making money I I started going through for low Capital expense businesses because I had lost everything after that five-year stint and so I was like never again am I going to reinvest every dollar from the business back into the business because I've lost it before so when I started the the next business in every business I've had thereafter like we take dividends every month and we do that because you don't wait till there's

an accident 10 years later I mean put a lot of money in I'd love to do both yeah yeah why not both sure right and so that was they get dividend and get a bigger course yeah but not just put money in and wait and get no money back 100 and the thing is and this was a fallacy I had because people always talk about like reinvesting in their business but I realized that that just meant that they weren't making profit and so and so the vast majority of businesses even the software world is somewhat

shifting in this um but they want to see profit and then even better is if you have net free cash flow which is just a fancy word for the amount of money that you can take out every month after making Necessary investments in the business and so I wanted to have businesses that pumped cash flow because I lost it all before and so I think there's a lot of like every every one of my business Seasons I would say I've had three uh business Seasons I had my gym ownership period I had my turnaround and

early gym launch day period and then I had prestigious Labs the licensing business in Allen that was like my last season were you exited yeah yeah and then I say like now we're in we're in our this third season I guess so brick and mortar gyms licensing supplements and software and then you know third season is what we have now and each of those has a huge huge magnitude of Leverage that was added to it and so you know this like gym launcher started on accident in that I was like this might be a way

that I could make money because people were like hey you're doing this pretty well for your own jibs can you help me like can you teach me what you've done all right let me go in here and oh I just help them double the revenue in 60 days yeah maybe I'm good at this I'll go people pay me more for that then they'll pay me to help them lose 20 pounds right and so that was a big that was when I went from B to B to C to B to B yes um and then

from there to be honest it was just going up another another order of magnitude because now instead of just building the one business now we're building lots of businesses at the same time and so that's kind of like why acquisition.com I think has a much higher you know his bigger feet for lack of power right you mentioned you'd always created something from a lack yeah but now it sounds like there's a different intention for why you're building something what happens when people shift their intention yeah from scarcity lack mindset to growth impact service whatever it

might be that you're coming from I'm so excited for this question um so I think the biggest thing that changes is time Horizon time Horizon what is time Horizon and I think the single greatest differentiator between the poor and the middle class middle class and rich rich and the truly wealthy is how they see time and if you think about money as simply a condensed unit of time right that's all money is like you trade it for time I mean you can trade time for money so like it is they're almost equivalent units and the

people who know how to master their time the most mean that they know how to master their money the most right and so really if you want to master to the original question of like how do wealthy people come wealthy is because they Master their time and so time Horizon is just like the perspective from which we see what we want to achieve and so if I am doing if I'm building a company from the place of like I believe that this company should exist I believe this problem is worth solving and that is where

you start it from then you build it differently versus versus I need to make money I need to make money this week I need to make money tomorrow because what can I go make money with exactly and so I think like I mean you've built this amazing brand here if if people were able to not ask for 12 months and just serve the this is what I did when I launched this because I literally sold another company I didn't make that much but I had enough for like two years to live yeah I was living

pretty Frugal I wasn't like I never bought anything fancy it was like you know whatever food and travel maybe right yeah but I was still sleeping on couches back then you know just because I wanted to save and I want to spend it on hotels I didn't start spending hotel rooms until about four or five years ago anyway I would always find a way who do I know in that town would crash on anyway side note uh you've been married for how long five years five years in a relationship or six years or something six

years of relationship five years married this is something that I've been on curious about a different Decades of my life right I'm 39 now I just turned 39 in March and in my 20s I didn't think it was I was like how is it possible to be with one human being for the rest of your life right yeah like there's so much adrenaline and testosterone and just you know desire you know I was thinking from a place of Desire not from a place of I don't know from a spiritual Foundation let's say right more of

a sexual desire and I would study these different men over the years and the ones that I really respected were the ones who had amazing long-term relationships and who had healthy businesses that impacted people in positive ways and had you know semi-healthy families in general right I'm curious why did you decide to get married I guess at 25 6. I was yeah 20 she was 20 23 or 24 and I was 26 or 27 okay is why why decide to get married in your 20s yeah um and how has that been beneficial towards your inner

peace your health and your wealth yeah so I think getting married um is a great hack for making money um I have a lot of thoughts on this uh first one is because at least if you're anything like me probably 80 of my attention went to chasing tail and so getting all of that attention back automatically just makes you more money right all your energy is spread 100 you're doing that it's spread all over the place and so that was that's just like honestly just getting into a relationship accomplishes that mm-hmm going from a relationship

to marriage though was really surprising to me because I was I would say fairly against marriage for most of everything and it's by happenstance Leyland I got married almost like as a dare and then we're still married and it's been awesome um it's like total we'll get it another time but when I when we did get married it was actually really interesting and maybe this is just my own personal experience but I felt this very sincere shift of knowing it felt secure even the long-term I'm like why do we need a government body why do

we need someone why do we need an external party to validate that relationship it's not a document from the government yeah but there is some level of commitment that comes with it that makes it more stable and knowing that it was like oh she's in it with me just knowing the barrier to exit was significantly higher for both of us I think increased our commitment to the relationship but it gave me so much more stability for risk taking in a lot of ways knowing that she was there knowing she had my back and you know

I was texting a um a buddy of mine who was who who was living the fast life yes um girls every other night yeah yeah and he was like how do you know what do you how do you think through this and I thought about it and um I think that when you get into the into the committed relationship or marriage um you trade novelty for loyalty and for me that to me loyalty I I was trying to Define this for myself but like for me loyalty matters more than love or is a form of

love or the one that I value the most and then as a secondary because I was trying to Define like what like whenever someone says like what is love right like if you actually like start trying to peel the word back most people just describe activities that people who are in love do well it means and then they use a laundry list of activities and so the best definition I have I know this is this me out there is of how much like measuring love is how much are you willing to endure to keep it

and so if you have a relationship with someone and like and I would say love and liking to me is the same thing because it's really difficult to differentiate between the two if you have a relationship with someone and you're not really willing to like let's say wait 30 minutes later to go to dinner with them probably have very little liking in there right if you have kids you're probably willing to do a lot for them and so like I'll give you an example that a friend of mine said he was like man he must

love he's like if you have a car that you've been working on all the time like a lot of guys like Tinker with must love that car right that thing's a piece of crap he must love that thing it barely runs because of what he's willing to put up with and so it's kind of interesting when you think like you can measure Love by your willingness to to sacrifice or endure in order to keep it do you think we should endure a toxic relationship though or something that's no not adding value equally or or putting

forth a level of effort to be fair the toxic relationship I'll use the quotes here because the defining toxic would be another call another another video right I think that there are there are moments in relationships that are negative but if you love someone a lot because you had a lot of benefit so going the other direction right like but if it's more toxic than it is then you wouldn't put up with it right so then is it worth is it worth is it worth putting up with anyone having a native experience it depends on

what you have to gain right and the more you love someone the longer you're willing to wait for another positive reinforcement so if I meet somebody and I have a negative experience immediately I'm probably done right right if I meet someone and I have positive the next day positive two days later positive a week later the next one I might be willing to wait two weeks and then four weeks and this is really just becomes a question of human conditioning rather than love not to get like I love the stuff but um but anyway I

can get us back to marriage but uh but marrying Layla gave me a lot of the security that I needed to make take the big risks and knowing that she had my back and Layla and I have very uncommon views on marriage what's the I guess unique views on marriage you guys have so most people get married because they feel a chemical attraction yes and then they just wait right until eventually it's been long enough and it goes away yeah and they're like I guess we should get married right we had the first date we

talked for four hours about business all business and at the end of the day I said you should quit your job and work for me I was like was given a date or was this a date okay it wasn't just like a casual encounter no it was 100 it was Bumble but it was a day yeah and all business all night the whole thing we walked for four hours let's talk about business and the very end I said you've gotta like quit your job and work for me and she said no I just met you

now I quit your job and date or date me but your job at work for me and I said listen even if I don't come with the deal like this needs to make sense for you like this is how much I'd pay I was just like this how much I pay you this how much you'd make like you should totally work for me um and she said no but I kept working on her and eventually three weeks later she quit her job and she joined me and we hung out every day after that one and

we did not have a super chemically not at all we just like doing the same stuff and we both wanted the same outcome and so at least as I see it it's like you have to have an aligned mission of one General accomplish in life values of how you want to get there man and then ideally this like bonus bonus points for similar interests dude that's so funny you say that because I say that you know from all the mistakes I've made in the previous relationships that are all my mistakes it all comes to values

vision and lifestyle and having shared alignment doesn't have to be 100 but it's like an alignment in values vision and lifestyle yeah not in you know if you have the sexual chemistry which we do which is great but not using that as the main value no the sexual chemicals yeah because in two five ten years they may not be there but if you don't have the values of visual lifestyle what you call values because it's all business mission is that what we're trying to accomplish value is how we're going to get there and then interests

is like what do we want to spend time exactly yeah that's so funny yeah so that's that's what I think and if you have those things you you create a relationship in my opinion at least this has been my Human Experience um it becomes very difficult to get out of and I say that intentionally in that like the best way to stay married is to figure out how to stay married and so like well let's stack all the chips in our favors like we like doing the same stuff we like talking about the same things

and then I think in a very important way if you if those three things are aligned you will get exposed to the same stimuli and if you get exposed to the same stimuli you'll have the same adaptations provided you have the same values so if I if we get this exposure and we both have the same values we'll both grow in the same way where I think what happens for many people is their opposite sides and they attract right and what happens is you get on this you probably your Ester parallel I just had her

on a week ago yeah yeah well now I feel silly quote her but my understanding of meeting activity is you've got familiarity right and and you've got for us a variety of them familiarity because and and so in the beginning you've everything's so new and exciting there's all this variety right and then you get to know each other and it gets better and better so you're like oh my God this is amazing it's amazing it's amazing but then all of a sudden you keep going and then your siblings and your roommates right and so it's

not like she says you know a uh a problem to be solved but a dichotomy to be managed between familiarity and variety and um one of the interesting things um with with our relationship is that we have so many ways to be familiar so for US based on that like so you need to create more variety yes how do you guys do that because you talk about all the same things you do the same thing all day long how do you create variety it's a great question so besides the multiple um no but I think

the the variety piece comes in through deliberate creation of room to be missed space if you think about the way for a week yes and you're going to go with your friends or family and I'm not going to be there you know how much you like someone more when you see them after not seeing them for a week so good isn't that weird best feeling right isn't that weird yeah so it's like we can create that deliberately belongings exactly and so it's like if we can like physically separate ourselves in terms of when we work

so we work on separate sides of the house uh we only come together for food so we eat and then we go back and uh ideally we're not on any of the same meetings because the last thing I want to do at the end of the day is sit down and say like how's your day just kidding I was there the whole time right right yeah so it's ideally so you work together but you don't yes you work in the same company but you're not on calls all day long together hand in hand right and

we can accomplish and so that way when we talk it's like two business colleagues that are both after the same thing that both believe in getting there the same way and we're talking about our unique things that are interesting for me that she wants you might want my perspective on and I'm like hey I'm thinking about this hook or this message or what do you think about this and we can bounce on it but because because we didn't share every moment of the day it gives us that ability to have variety but I think Esther

said this so yeah but the couples that have that do do start businesses together they have a misquoting two research things anyways um couples that start businesses together have uh a 10 divorce rate if you start and make a dollar in a business together wow and I think it's like birthing a child except in order to do a business I think it's harder than having kids and people will be like you don't know that because you don't have kids it's true but I do know that there's a lot of people who have both there's more

people who have kids in that businesses who started together and I think that there's some magic in that because it's like birthing an idea but you both got to agree on what you're going to create so you're not leading up to biology or living up the choice do you guys ever fight or argue sure like I would I would say we don't have what I would consider like real fights low observator yeah yeah I mean minor arguments but I'm sure that like the many common miscommunications that can happen as humans sure sure hey you said

this that did is this what you meant no no there's I was like if there's two ways to take it and one way makes you really angry the other one doesn't I meant the other way whatever you're angry about Roundup that's like just round up for me what's the thing you love about her the most excuse me to steal she's um Leia's just Unbreakable so like I'll tell you the two moments in in our marriage that like or we weren't married yet but the two moments that like defined her to me so one was in

we're probably nine months into dating um or maybe not having maybe like six months we're six months into dating and I lost everything again standard standard Alex move right just lose everything and she had to go launch a gym and she had to absolutely crush it and I was so stressed out because at this moment in time I had the six gems I had a chiropractor agency a dentist agency I had that and I had the launch business where we're actually like flying out and doing launches I think I had one more thing I can't

remember what it was but those are eight different businesses that I was owning I made no money obviously because I had eight businesses right and I was just I I was too stressed to function that was the only way I could describe it it's like I was not present at all ever I was just thin I just I was so spread then she walked in the office one day I didn't look up and she was like do you want me to be here and uh and I was like you can do whatever you want and

she was like well are you do you want to break up and I was like yeah that's fine really and so she said okay that's fine um you know and she'd quit her job to do this with me so it had been five months like you know she'd quit every she'd build up a personal training business that was doing really well and she got rid of all our clients so she could come do these lunches wow five months in I was like you know I can't whatever and so she went to Hawaii to do this

launch which was going to be a really big launch and I was betting big on this thing because so she's still working with you but not in a relationship with you yeah so we've actually like work is is the thing that is our first language it came naturally to us and so she went there and I had I think I lost all the money for the seventh reason in a row right and I had like 10 grand left and we needed to make like a hundred thousand dollars in that month or I was gonna get

behind so I it was 10 grand to get her there for 30 days in Hawaii because hotels are insane and I was like you you need to crush this even though we just broke up oh my gosh you need to crush this like you need to crush this that's like all I can say and she flew there and she said every sales record that we had when she got there and did a hundred and something thousand in cash collected and she killed it and when she came back um I'd had a coach that I was

like meeting with during the the time she was gone he was like look at the stats of your life he's like are you in better shape now that she's here he's like are you making more money now that she's here are you like and to be fair like in general I was still doing better because I had started the launch business like I was you know um I was like yeah and he's like I think she's a very good thing in your life and I was like okay and so anyway she came back and she

crushed it when virtually every other person that I know would have either not gone like so for you I'm out of this or just wilted under the pressure because I put a lot I was like you need I was like this is the last money I have like you have to crush this and I don't care about you intimately anymore yeah and I don't get it and so she killed it and then she came back and then two or three months later of course I lost all that money again um because and then and so

then at this point now we're sleeping at her parents house and you're not in a relationship no we're so we got back together when she came back when she came back got back together yeah that was like I was like you're awesome like used to tall when everything else was crumbling like let's keep doing this yeah and so this leads me probably to probably the core point of Layla is that and I I don't know if it's all relationships but at least the way this one is compared to every other relationship I've had is that

I respected her first and I don't think I had Ah that's so key like I don't and I say this not as any I've Loved A lot of people in the past but I don't think I respected them to the same degree and I think part of that is because it was harder for me to respect them because I didn't have a shared Arena to witness it in it would be like maybe for me I might not have been able to respect an athlete maybe maybe because it's just not a game I understand as well

as like a business game sure I'm maybe just saying that I can appreciate Excellence who knows but um I respected her and her opinion mattered to me a lot of times I would feel like someone's opinion like like yeah it matters but like I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do yeah I mean like my opinion matters more her opinion I valued equally or even higher than mine in many occasions because I trust her gut she's an amazing Instinct with people especially um and so I respected her first and the second time that happened was I'm

sleeping in her parents house winner than I am um he's 24 25 no I'm 27. yeah 26-27 she's 23 24. and um they gave me like the spare kids bedroom so I'm like in this little desk you know I mean like with a little chair like cramped up and I'm like this is like make believe except it's a real business um and we had this horrible day where we lost like 150 000 and it was and I just saved like everything was turning around everything was turning around for us we lived there just to like

kind of save some money yeah yeah but we the first month of getting rid of all those businesses that I had and just focusing just on gym launch we did a hundred thousand we did 200 000 with 300 000 so like things were turning around and I was like okay this is happening and then we got 150 000 refunds which is pretty much all the profit I had made and it was because a couple of the gyms that we had launched basically told all the customers to refund and then signed back up through them for

half the price oh my God so it's like I go to a gym that's we used to pay for everything the hotels the flights the marketing the sales guy then let's say we saw 100 people at 500 bucks we make fifty thousand dollars right just for example they would say hey 100 people now that they're gone that's annoying yeah it was a flawed model you know I mean like and I could I could limit it but I was not operating within the context of like human and Senate there was a huge incentive to not be

ethical right and so we we lost 150 000 which was all my savings again um and uh at that moment I had already lost everything like three times since I'd been with her it had been like 11 months at this point wow I think at that point 10 months because we got married in mine it was 13 months since we had met and so I just looked at her and I'm like in her parents you know room or whatever and I said listen um I'm a sinking ship and uh if you want to get out

I was like I will have absolute respect for you we will be like we're cool like I will hold nothing against you because I like I clearly am not good at this um and that's where she was like I would sleep with you under a bridge if it came to that and so that was when that was before you're married or yes before we were married and so that was when and that like you know I think the the dedication in that book says uh or actually well I might be spoiling it but then I

think the next book says you saw the light in me it's a it's a strong uh my ride or die coming to this without you yeah right it's a it's a very meaningful thing but I but I don't know if I would have done it without her you know what I mean and um and so anyways all that to say she stood tall when everything else was was crumbling around me and for that she has my eternal respect wow and so as a result of that that security knowing that she like even when she didn't

have to she was there and she chose to be there alongside me because she believed that we could do this even when I ran out of belief I think for that that's and that's and to be fair that was the first 11 months of our relationships and so like since we got married it's been super easy yeah really easy it has been like literally nothing was harder than the first year of our of our relationship I'm assuming you wouldn't call yourself a marriage expert by any means but you've been married five years you've you've also

know you know you have a lot of respect for older men who've been married for a long time you've I'm sure interviewed them and have mentors in that space uh what do you think makes a strong marriage last more respect or love I mean you know where I'm going with this one um respect because I think that respect is based in logic love less so and so I'll say I'll say it differently I think that love has a strong emotional component some days like some days you feel like you love someone more than other days

right but respect doesn't change as much because it's based on facts it's based on evidence it's based on I the story I just told you will not change that happened right and so when emotions fade logic remains which is why I'm a big fan of logical selling which is when someone is trying to make a decision I do want to give them the logical reasons for why they should do that because when the emotions do Fade which they inevitably do about the decision that they made what will remain is the logic and the logic will

carry you through the dips but if you don't have a logical reason to be together then when the emotions fade that's when you have no reason to be together because the emotions are on and there's no logic right and so I think that for the long-term relationship that's why the the mission the values and the interests there's a lot of logical reasons for us to stay together we have a million logical reasons together we're Partners in the business we love the same lifestyle we're both into fitness like and and so we have all these huge

stack of reasons uh for why we should stay together and I think that if we can stack the reasons and as a funny side note with the length of marriage the average married person spends uh two hours a day together 45 of that is watching television average marriage 35 24 24 minutes of that is housework and in 35 minutes sorry uh 35 minutes is eating and so 45 plus 25 is four so there's like 20 minutes that's not that of the two hours that is just being with someone and so we have spent every hour

of every day to get the day together for six years and so I feel like in that way we've had more we've had a 50-year marriage right from a Time Time perspective uh but anyways just and and these where do you think you'd be without her or a marriage like hers that has supported you and thrived do you think it'd be as financially successful do you think it'd be you'd have more time to build your businesses or you feel like you'd have scattered energy with lifestyle choices I don't know yeah I don't know if I

would have learned the lessons that she's taught me that like if I had so if I had a similar marriage to the one that I have I think it would be the same if I didn't have a similar marriage to this one I think I think I would have figured out the money thing was too important to me for me not to figure it out I think it was too it's too important to me because you had the discipline yeah and I and the fitness thing that was our that was always on Lock and so

like the missing piece I still probably would have had that long in to figure out because I do because to your point like all the people that I respect have been in 20 or 30 or 40 or 50 year marriages and I think there's something about character it speaks to someone's character when they've done something like that and I think that was something that I wanted to have yeah what do you think you're 32 now yeah what do you think when you hit 40 the three biggest lessons will be that you will have learned or

that you if you could go into the future because you're really good at thinking you're 85 myself and your 40 year itself was looking at you right now or in a room with you talking to you yeah and he said here are the three things you're really going to need to learn yeah and try not to make these mistakes what would those three lessons be do you think if you could go in the future well the first one that jumped out of me was patience works so that would be the the first I think I

would have continuous reinforcement on the fact that the longer I wait for things the better they are the second one would be Define your terms Socrates says wisdom begins with a definition of terms and so a lot of people make these goals but they don't know what the goal means and so they're like I want to be healthy like what does that mean I want to be happy what does that mean really we have to Define our terms before we start trying to attack them or breaking them down which is why like if you've already

in my stuff I I tend to Define terms a lot um so I think a definition of terms is is have to Define your terms and then third one of lessons that um I think would probably still be because whenever I talk to my 85 year olds off in my my therapy sessions with myself um it's always just remembering to smell the flowers more because if I'm 20 years old and or 30 years old and I would trade all the millions I have to be 20 again then that is the lesson so I would trade

everything that I have when I'm 40 to be 32. and so it's just like reminding myself enjoy this now this moment yeah because I would trade everything to be here when I'm 40. right so like if I can just if I can just even get a tenth of that awareness in the present moment if I can bring 10 of that future awareness to the present moment that would be a success for me that cash that you deposited is a liability for the bank an asset to something that puts money in your pocket a liability is

something that takes money away from your pocket so when the bank has your cash it's a liability for them they want to get rid of it as fast as possible and the way they do that is by lending it out because it's an investment for the bank