Why It Sucks to Be Born as a Horse

just a quick drop to the ground and here you are born smack dab in the middle of a wide open field in the American West mom gives you a few licks then nudges you to get those wobbly spaghetti legs working and a warm hug for the ground a couple more face plants and soon enough you're wobbling around upright looking like a person trying on heels for the first time you wobble over and grab your first sip from the unlimited milk tab conveniently located under mom not exactly Starbucks but it'll do barely at a taste when

the her decides it's time to move and Mom's off so you follow her wobbly Pace this is your herd about eight mares or maybe nine and that old guy over there that's the stallion the leader and protector of the group and he's also your dad by the way you're not the only newbie here there are fos everywhere all looking like tiny shaky adults just learning to keep their legs in check you all start sniffing each other's noses and bumping heads and what could pass as a full version of a handshake by the time you're 4

months old you're starting to get pretty tired of milk so you start giving grass a try like the adults that first bite isn't exactly a breeze but just as you're wondering if you'll ever get the hang of it a weird sharp smell WS in you flick an ear glance up and oh hi Mr Wolf before you can even think about turning tail the stallion's already in front of you snorting and stamping like a full-blown alarm system on four legs the wolf pauses sizing him up clearly realizing that dealing with an angry Stallion and a whole

herd of horses is not on his t-o list after a few seconds of maybe maybe not he slinks back into the bushes like a ghost well didn't expect that to be so easy all right back to figuring out how to chew this green stuff days go by and you start picking up on the herd schedule mornings mean munching grass afternoons are for Laing around every now and then you all watch as the stallion squares off with some pushy newcomers trying to take over the whole group life goes on like this until one chilly morning something's

different a sharp bite in the wind an earthy scent you haven't smelled before the adults start moving hurting together with a sense of urgency Winter's on its way and the world's about to change the grass turns dry and brittle water holes shrink to puddles and your Carefree days are swapped out for long tracks searching for anything green and drinkable survival isn't just about how fast you can run it's about knowing the right place at the right time your little body is changing too that soft fur you started with is growing tougher thicker and warmer a

cozy layer from nature to help you brace for the cold season or let's be real just make things a bit less miserable since this fur isn't exactly winter armor the herds huddle close pulling you and the other FES into the center to Shield you from the biting chill whenever the wind picks up now it's better you watch the older horses hooves scraping through the snow to uncover the scraggly grass underneath you give it a shot pawing with your little Hooves and a bit of grass for the taking it's not much but it'll do 2 years

later and you've officially entered your juvenile phase but being grown up isn't quite what you expect Ed life's starting to feel like a never- ending parade of kicks and shoves from the stallion he's had just about enough of you and your buddies too as the only adult male in the herd he's not thrilled about having a bunch of young Colts Coming of Age around him so you've got two choices take them on for control or hit the road all right Make Your Move good choice sometimes keeping all your limbs in one piece is the smartest

option you might as well say goodbye to your friend on the way out oh never mind he's already trailing along kicking out just like you meanwhile the young Mays get to stay with the herd now it's just the two of you trekking through the mountains and settling into your new bachelor lifestyle days are spent searching for food facing off with wolves and sometimes making a swift ret then one day you stumble upon a herd of five other young stallions great new friends you join up and form a bachelor Kang and suddenly life's looking a lot

more interesting you all roam together hunting for food and every so often and fights break out within the group watching these scraps becomes the highlight of your day as you sit back learning a few fighting moves and keep yourself out of The Fray until you're big enough to take your fair share of knocks this bachelor herd has a pecking order and it's based on strength to climb up you have to challenge the horse above you then the next until you reach the top and that only happens after a lot of rough and bloody fights okay

let's Advance the story a little and you've finally become the strongest in the group what's the next step finding a herd of Mayors and taking it over amazing you're about to leave the bachelor life behind you and your gang set off and soon enough you cross paths with a pack of wolves but they don't seem interested in you they're actually targeting a herd with only one male it's much easier to take on a single stallion than a whole Bachelor gang makes sense you nod politely to each other and keep moving wait a minute you're both

after the same thing a herd of mayors things just got interesting he keep trekking over Hills and endless Plains oh look there a herd of mares right for the taking their stallion doesn't exactly look like he's in fighting shape and your buddies are hyping you up they know you're the strongest in the group and they're ready to see you claim your prize they're practically breaking out the popcorn as you warm up for The Showdown the stallion catches sight of you and knows what's up game on in minutes The Duel kicks off you're throwing hoof strikes

and when necessary going in with teeth oh right right he's got teeth too ow that stings the fight drags on until you've had enough usually about 5 minutes back and forth nice try your crew are sizing up the other stallion's strength based on how you're holding up since you're the strongest of the bunch they know their chances are slim if you're struggling you head back to the group covered in bruises and scratches close one Apparently after a bit of recovery you go after another stallion you find on the way and yep round two two of

bruises turns out claiming a herd isn't as easy as it sounds it's a game of attempts and setbacks you remember watching your old leader go through this until he finally won a herd so each Scar from these battles just toughens you up makes you sharper winter here and the landcape shifts food becomes scarce your fur thickens and thoughts of sparring with other stallions takes a backseat to survival you and your crew wander for Miles scouring for anything edible and drinkable when the biting cold hits you find shelter near cliffs huddling up to stay warm this

goes on until spring finally returns the heavy winter coat starts to shed and your herd mates return to their sparring routines as for you it's back to the hunt for a stallion with some lovely mares to win over by age five you finally succeed defeating a stallion and claiming his Mars and they're young for yourself nice now you're the new stallion your old group breaks up with the strongest taking the lead in your place welcome to your new life with all new challenges now you're the one fending off wolves having all these mares doesn't come

without a cost you raise your Hooves and fend off wolves one by one thanks to all the skills you honed in past fights they finally back off giving you a Moment's Peace before you guide the herd to a safe spot with enough grass this new life as lead stallion isn't quite the Glamorous gig you imagined protecting finding food guiding and fighting lots of fighting now your opponents range from wolves and mountain lions to ambitious young stallions who want your spot your Mayors mostly keep to their roles giving birth caring for the young and watching you

throw down in fights at this age you're at Peak strength nearly unbeatable and if you get injured the mays look after you so lucky winter rolls around again bringing fresh challenges long TRS and gnawing hunger you lead your herd to the spots you think might still hold food and water relying on the wisdom you've built over the years at least in Winter you get a break from those young stallions though there's the occasional wolf that still needs a reminder of who's boss you've got this down by now by age 12 you've fought more battles than

you can count and RAM these planes so often you know every inch you're starting to feel it though your muscles ache and you're slowing down but no one cares you've still got a fight this might be your last show down a young stallion stands before you brimming with energy and ambition his gang cheering him on no sweat you've got the oh that was quick just like that you're defeated the Mars are gone with so much as a goodbye how's that for gratitude now for the first time you're truly alone wandering the same Plains you once

ruled with your herd after years of protecting them you're left hoping you can protect yourself winners here this time I'm not so sure your body can take the biting colds but let's find out you push forward alone through the freezing winds scaling mountains in search of anything green you've got a bit of fat stored from the last seasons hopefully it'll keep you going you keep moving until you find the side of a a rocky cliff and settle down beneath it for shelter remember when you used to huddle here with the herd all packed tight to

stay warm now it's just you no one to lean on think they even remember you oh look over there there's that old wolf you've taught a lesson to so many times looks like he might be back for a little revenge and he's brought friends what a way to go dinner for a bunch of mangy wolves