The Curse of Thinking Too Deeply

this video is sponsored by kefs Neil was 46 when it was discovered that there was a malformation in his brain although this was on the face of it terrible news sometimes terrible news presented at the right time becomes good news sometimes it doesn't it wasn't quite clear yet what this was the malformation was discovered after Neil had a seizure while at work he was a professor of philosophy at New York University while teaching his course pessimism Despair and hope suddenly his head tilted up to the side his eyes rolled back his mouth opened like it

was being pulled by a string and then he collapsed backwards the good news was this didn't kill him and it allowed the arterial venous malformation in his brain to be discovered before it did at the hospital the doctors were able to embolize the brain hemorrhage that had caused the seizure which occurred because of the Mal formation the embolization filled the abnormal connections between his arteries and veins and prevented oxygenated blood from circulating throughout his brain even better news the malformation was located close enough to Neil's skull where it could be accessed and removed completely but

there was a big catch the Mal formation was located in Neil's frontal lobe the area of the brain responsible for things like the way you think problem solve and engage with language and so one of the consequences of removing this piece of his brain was that it would likely affect his ability to think abstractly to reason assess and comprehend theoretical and complex ideas of course this was a central requirement for his work as a philosopher and a fundamental part of his identity he could of course choose to not have the surgery and continue on as

he was but without the surgery Neil risked having another brain hemorrhage that could kill [Music] him Neil had dedicated nearly his whole life to philosophy starting as a young boy he spent much of his time reading and engaging in philosophical questions this was at least partly motivated by his circumstances at the time at just 8 years old he experienced the intensity of death and loss as he watched his older brother pass away from acute myoid leukemia this left Neil an only child not long after his parents divorced some fair weather marriages only become a parent

when the first real storm hits Neil's father was a hotel consultant who traveled and moved around a lot often bringing Neil with him between the early death of his brother the ending of his parents' marriage the isolation inherent to traveling and moving around as an only child and the wide spread exposure to many different cultures places and aspects of humanity particularly the problems and suffering that pervade it all compelled Neil more and more toward philosophy toward seeking answers and understandings throughout adolesence Neil particularly found himself compelled toward philosophical pessimism he would study and read The

Works of philosophers like Fodor dovi Arthur schopenhauer Lev shesto Emil Chon Peter wessell zapa and many others in adulthood he would become a professor of philosophy at several major universities and author six books a couple of which became successful both in and outside of the intellectual Community he quickly became a well-respected writer and philosopher particularly renowned for his dark nihilistic yet beautiful writing style Neil's work often challenged accepted and acceptable viewpoints of humanity and existence it viscerally embodied the feelings of alienation bleakness and absurdity often both destroying and repairing the reader with the same line

it wasn't that Neil wanted to be pessimistic he just wanted and needed to be honest and well- defined with himself as well as the world and in doing so he simply found himself with this sort of pessimistic View and Sensibility the desire was truth and honesty at any cost not bleakness or pessimism but truth and honesty at any cost includes bleakness and pessimism now Neil was left with the following two options undergo the surgery and likely no longer be able to meaningfully engage in philosophy or not undergo the surgery and risk dying from from another

brain hemorrhage it wasn't quite that simple of course the odds of experiencing another brain hemorrhage that could kill him were around 60% the odds of the surgery killing him were around 10% so there were still some elements of convoluted just in terms of survival also it wasn't as if the surgery was going to make him feel or seem like a dramatically different person the doctors believed that because of the location and condition of the Mal formation it would most likely just affect his abstract thinking reasoning and comprehension of complex ideas for many this choice would

be obvious for Neil it wasn't for his girlfriend Maya however it was the surgery you have to get the surgery is this seriously even a question she said to Neil while they sat on the couch after returning home from the hospital Neil just sat there rubbing his chin his eyes bounced back and forth to her off the floor I don't know I have to think Neil said think that's your problem you intellectualize everything and now you're considering letting yourself die over the prospect of not being able to intellectualize everything you've spent your whole life asking

questions and thinking abstractly about everything but what has that gotten you are you better off than before you started or if you never had at all have you found anything other than answers you either can't know or would have been better off not knowing depends on what you mean by better off Neil answered see that's what I mean everything doesn't need to be so complicated but everything is Neil interjected everything is what you see it as maybe having a chance to see life without it always having to be condensed into precise reasons or abstracted into

some Theory won't be such a bad thing Neil sat silently staring Forward Thinking Maya began to cry a couple days went by one of Neil's close friends and colleagues George who was also a professor of philosophy at NYU stop by Neil's house to see how he was doing almost to a fault George was an extremely straightforward W no kind of guy much like Neil at some point in their conversation after explaining Everything Neil asked George for his thoughts about the situation well wouldn't you be dead anyway if you got the surgery and it took from

you what makes you who you are George said how could you give up the ability to think and understand the truth of things the same way you always have to be able to question things with that level of granularity you've dedicated your life to to potentially not even care about contemplating things it's like returning to the starting point of philosophy and not even choosing to pick up the first book it's like trading everything you've worked for a deep understanding of existence for ignorance is that what you want George concluded Neil nodded at George as he

exhaled with his lips clenched that was something he probably would have told somebody else in his position but actually being in a position is a lot different than telling someone what you would do if you were around a week later Neil's father came to visit him a very stoic pragmatic individual at some point in their conversation after explaining everything an Neil asked him for his thoughts H his father said I've always respected what you do you know that but I've never fully understood it to be honest I've lived my whole life without asking any of

these sorts of what do you call them metaphysical questions and I've been fine you know what they say right ignorance is bliss Neil looked at his father his eyes seemed to widen a bit as he did but his father continued at the same time there are things in my life that I would sacrifice Bliss for that I wouldn't want to live without I guess you have to ask yourself what's that for you is philosophy more dangerous than it's worth here or is it worth the risk Neil spent the rest of the week thinking back and

forth back and forth back and forth the next Monday he had a follow-up appointment with the neurologist he sat across from them in their office looking down so the doctor said have we decided are we moving forward with the surgery Neil looked up and breathed in deeply yes I've decided he said [Music] confidently this video was sponsored by keeps as many as 85% of men will experience some sort of notable hair loss by the age of 50 this is nothing to be ashamed of of course but it's also nothing that we need to freely accept

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