Team Trump Screws Up Epstein List Release, Donald Hocks Golden Dollars & GOP Complains About Elon

on the I appreciate that thank you for joining us I'm glad you did oh we have you know what Buckle in we got a lot to cover We are following story we're following true stories we're following stories that are made up who even knows which ones are which anymore and who even cares it's been five weeks since Joe Biden rode off to the great senior water aerobics class in the sky and since then so much has happened uh so many great things inflation is up unemployment is up and cost more than iPhones the measles is

back planes are running into each other I'm getting dizzy just thinking about how great America is again I'm tired of all the winning I am in Washington no one seems to know what the hell is going on Elon Musk still got that still doing the Chainsaw Massacre of the federal Workforce the White House put out a memo today warning federal agencies to prepare for Mass layoffs but don't worry none of this will affect the butler who brings Trump his Diet Cokes times a day you know they sent an email to millions of government employees instructing

them to share five things they accomplished last week Trump said they would be fired if they didn't then said they wouldn't be fired then he said they would be semi fired now he's saying they'll be wood fired with caramelized onions and maybe a little handful of aago cheese but GMO you don't work for the government as far as we know you don't work for the government right all right so I thought it would be interesting to ask yo what to write down five things he did at work this and you did right yeah I did

yeah you have the list yes I do all right bring it over come over here and bring it here all right all right all right all right okay you really did now there's guo's list number one drink tequila okay that probably could have been all five number two go get my what is this word my credential for the Oscars across the street okay uh number three get measurement for tuxedo for Sunday GMA will be at the Oscars number four uh do the live show do this do this show do that live show yes that's this

show right now this show right now yes uh number five write this stupid list number six oh number six you didn't even need a number six take pictures with that audience with with audience yeah with with this audience yes oh okay this is good yeah let me just make sure I have this straight on the record after the show you will stay and you will take pictures with everyone in our audience yeah yeah I take a pictures it's on the list you yeah I take pictures with with with the audience yes with everybody yes did

you say with every person in the audience yeah with everybody yeah with everybody hey how many is it 200 people yeah go sit down you're going to be here for quite a while tonight oh my God but congratulations your employee of the week oh thank [Applause] you don't let him leave by the way this this little is like uh one of the you know how you have to sometimes catch a a state faar a grease Pig just like that okay group of uh Republican Senators yesterday met privately with the white house chief of staff to

complain about how these impulsive and half-hazard cuts have eliminated 1400 jobs at the Department of Veterans Affairs these are jobs held mostly by veterans and it's a tricky situation for Donald Trump because he doesn't you know we know he doesn't think much of veterans but he loves Affairs so so far do which is the stupidest name and I resent having to even say it they have been just about as efficient as a cyber truck in 2 in of snow and fairness you're not supposed to drive them but um you can see this is the whole

thing it's not working because the maggot Junior Varsity squad is doubling down now Congress bunny Lauren bobert wrote I didn't realize my disain for these agencies could get any lower spell this Dane with a a te maybe let's not get rid of that Department of Education just yet by the way when you dislike something your distain gets higher not lower she is fun at musicals though the good news is the good news is that while Elon is uh busy throwing the whole country into a blender he's making plenty of money according to the Washington Post

the FAA had a $2.4 billion contract with Verizon to upgrade their Communications now they're going to cancel that contract and award it to a company called starlink which is owned by Guess Who that's right Elon Musk oh no there's nothing Shady about it at all Allin companies owned by Elon Musk have been the recipient of of more than $30 billion from our government that's billion with a b and nuts with an N putting Elon Musk in charge of government contract is like putting Pac-Man in charge of fruit it's a bad idea but no one is

cashing in more bigly than our cheerless leader Donald Trump I guess because the billions from his Bitcoin and the nfts and the truth social stock that's not enough he's now making money off money the stable genius who brought us Trump coins not so long ago is now Hawking dollar bills made of gold that's right that's the Trump gold dollar bill one gold dollar bill goes for $34.99 you can get $3 bills for $100 and 10 for 300 bucks that's the package I'm going to get it's the most reasonable this is quite a racket he's got

going he's got coins he's got bills he's got Bibles and now he's got this hello everyone this is your favorite President Donald J Trump with some very exciting news about a bigly new product from my amazingly huge brain this beautiful necklace made of real nine karat gold featuring Jesus on one side and me on the other the Donald Trump double cross no one has been crucified more than Jesus and me we were both crucified like you wouldn't believe many are saying I was even more crucified than him I was crucified through the roof religion and

Christianity are the biggest things missing from this country and now you can celebrate God and Me wherever you go wear us to church bin us to your favorite hat or hang us on the rearview mirror of your exploding cybertruck so odd everyone loves the Trump double cross but don't just take it for me take it from my good friend Jesus himself you got to buy this necklace you got to thank you Jesus the Donald Trump double cross available for only $999.99 and if you don't buy one you will go to hell there you have it

let's make America Pray Again God bless you and God bless the USA didn't hurt you know it was only a my time hey speaking of double crosses tomorrow Trump's meeting with President sensy of Ukraine who's coming to the United States Trump claims they've reached a deal to create what's being called a reconstruction investment fund basically they will give us access to their valuable minerals in exchange for us not letting Putin kill them all in other other words the guy who was impeached for trying to extort Ukraine tomorrow is planning to do it again in front

of everyone Ukraine has a big chunk of the world's lithium reserves which is what they use in batteries for electric cars man if only Trump knew somebody who could use that sort of thing you know it's and then we have the Jeffrey Epstein list which Trump kind of sort promised to release attorney general Pam Bondi yesterday made a big announcement she announced the list of Epstein clients and his flight logs would be released today at noon guess what they weren't released today at noon instead they released binders full of information everyone already had everything these

people do is screwed up last night Twitter listed this this was listed at top of the Twitter homepage Epstein files to unveil names on February 29th it's not just enough time for Trump to ban all future leap years it's we're going to release the list on March 36th so not only didn't what they released contain any new information instead of the real news meia instead of journalists they release these binders to a small group of obscure right-wing influencers one of them is some former Miss Universe judge another one is a former host from one americ

news uh who was not happy with what she got I share your frustration you should have seen how pissed attorney general Bondi and FBI director cash Patel were in this meeting when they were explaining to us what happened the story here is incredibly important that not only is the Trump Administration trying to give you transparency but that the Deep State agents are trying to hide it that's right the Deep State agents are trying to hide it well first the Deep State agents need to go through the documents to make sure they dot every eye and

cross out every djt and then they can release the documents you know the fact that these Looney Tunes keep conveniently forgetting that Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein were good friends is unbelievable New York Magazine did a profile Jeffrey Epstein back in 2002 this is the quote from Donald Trump I've known Jeff for 15 years terrific guy he's a lot of fun to be with it's even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do and many of them are on the younger side no doubt about it Jeffrey enjoys his social life and they're

running around with binders Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein had a party at Mara Lago they called it a calendar girl competition they flew in 28 women the only men at the party were him and Jeffrey Epstein it was him Jeffrey Epstein and 28 very disappointed calendar girls I hope that's in the binder when it comes out this is a big weekend you know in Hollywood this is like the biggest the biggest weekend of the year on Sunday the Oscars hosted by Conan O'Brien are here on ABC it just so happens the Oscars take place at

the Dolby Theater right across the street we wanted to get a sense of what the fans are talking about this year so we sent our reporter out there for a 97th Oscars edition of breaking the news breaking the news Awards Edition ow the movies are they still popular why so many people who would rather stay home and watch pornography can't name a single nominated picture I don't know that's what I'm saying tonight the substance a movie about a mysterious liquid that turns any woman attractive hold up for a second and I have it right here

hold on how you doing girl I'm doing there you are tonight tonight right yes tonight going let go consenting adults we've heard it a 100 times Hollywood is run by old white guys but what about the old white guys who don't run Hollywood the lunch paale Larry's the punch clock pets that feels nothing when he touches his white friends and how would you allow me to respond exactly like that Fred is dead inside everybody is cheering for Adrien Brody and the brutalist [Music] yeah the story of an architect who tries to make it in the

good old USA after escaping the horrors of the Holocaust and then being brutalized by his benefactor you know let's do Anora let's do Anora everybody's cheering for Anora the story of a sex worker who falls in love with a drug addicted oligarch son and my exclusive interview with Oscar host Conan O'Brien you'll see only here on BTN good luck thank you shorter in person Hollywood's top talents are already preparing for their next roles let's go find some look at this how are you sir Elton John in Mad Max 4 DJ khed in bobblehead the Fernando

Valenzuela story Demi Moore as Fonzi pet and yongo Jackie Jor KY Adam Driver in the story of the Ramon Nicholas Cage as Tom Petty and look at this Pat noswal as Ed Sheeran hello I'm in love with the shape of you thank you so much belly laughs we're on Hollywood Boulevard asking pedestrians the question we normally ask celebrities you sir yes who are you wearing who am I wearing yes I'm not wearing anything and why haven't you used your platform to raise awareness for AIDS why no ribbon I have no idea we speak to proads

activist name Kurt Kurt later Curt is cancelled one witch to witch Red Witch green witch everybody loves Wicked but is witchcraft real tonight I speak to a real live witch my ex-wife Tina through her attorney was no picnic sure but our bedroom wasn't exactly Defying Gravity and the price of eggs keeps going through the roof after [Music] Sports oh my God I can't believe it we have 20 million subscribers on YouTube unbelievable I only wish we got paid for this if you haven't subscribed yet what are you waiting for help us get to 50 million

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