Anti-Vaxxers Bring The Crazy At Public Meetings In California

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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

The backlash against vaccine mandates was loud, proud, and downright troubling at the latest meeting of the San Diego Board of Supervisors. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel: http://bit.ly/ColbertYouTube Watch full episodes of "The Late Show": http://bit.ly/1Puei40 Like "The Late Show" on Facebook: http://on.fb.me/1df139Y Follow "The Late Show" on Twitter: http://bit.ly/1dMzZzG Follow "The Late Show" on Instagram: http://bit.ly/29wfREj Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS. --- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount , and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

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♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: WELCOME, WELCOME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN TO "THE LATE SHOW." I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. ALL WEEK--<i> ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )</i> IF YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING THE SHOW, YOU KNOW ALL WEEK I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON IN AFGHANISTAN. IT'S A COMEDY GOLD MINE-- IN THAT TRYING TO DO JOKES ABOUT IT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE TRAPPED DEEP UNDERGROUND WITHOUT ENOUGH OXYGEN. BUT TODAY, ALL THE NEWS FROM THERE IS "WAIT AND SEE." SO I, TOO, AM GOING TO WAIT, AND SEE WHAT ELSE THERE IS TO TALK ABOUT-- YOU KNOW, LIGHTER NEWS, LIKE THE DELTA VARIANT. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i> SPEAKING OF WHICH, WE'RE GETTING REINFORCEMENTS TO FIGHT IT. TODAY, THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION ANNOUNCED BOOSTER SHOTS WILL BE OFFERED TO AMERICANS BEGINNING SEPTEMBER 20. OF COURSE--<i> ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )</i> THE VAX MAN'S HERE. OF COURSE, NOT ALL AMERICANS ARE IN FAVOR OF EVEN ONE VACCINE. IN SAN DIEGO, A BUNCH OF THESE FOLKS, CAME OUT TO PROTEST VACCINE MANDATES AT A BOARD OF SUPERVISORS MEETING-- AND BUCKLE YOUR BRAIN: >> WE SHOULD NOT BE SPENDING OUR TIME HERE AND OUR LIFE FORCE ENERGY FIGHTING PEOPLE WHO LACK CRITICAL THINKING AND COMMON SENSE, YET WANT TO PUSH A VACCINE ON US. YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY? SATURN IS IN THE SAME POSITION AS IT WAS DURING THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION OF 1776, AND YOU ARE THE REDCOATS. >> Stephen: THAT IS CRAZY! <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i> THAT IS THE MOST INSANE THING I HAVE EVER SEEN OR HEARD. SATURN IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION. MARS IS. THINK ABOUT IT: RED COATS, RED PLANET. IF YOU DON'T GET THAT, YOU'RE CLEARLY A LIBRA. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i> THIS GUY'S MESSAGE CHANGED SOME HEARTS AND MINDS... AND LOINS. >> TO THE MEN THAT HAVE SHOWN UP, OH THAT'S BEEN SUPER HOT. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU GUYS TO GET UP HERE AND JUST ROAR LIKE A LION. THAT'S AWESOME. >> Stephen: RROWRR! <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i> YOU GET IT, GIRL! YOU CAN CATCH HER IN THE NEW REALITY DATING SHOW: "THE ANTI-VAX-LORETTE." <i> ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )</i> "RYAN, WILL YOU ACCEPT THIS PATHOGEN?" <i> ( COUGHS )</i> ANOTHER ANTI-VAXXER WHO SPOKE PROVED THAT SHE'S NOT A THREAT TO SOCIETY. SHE'S A TRIPLE THREAT TO SOCIETY. >> I GOT A QUICK QUESTION FOR YOU GUYS. ♪ DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING? SINGING THE SONG OF ANGRY MEN ♪ IT IS THE MUSIC OF A PEOPLE WHO WILL NOT BE SLAVES AGAIN ♪ HEY, THAT WAS OFF THE CUFF. I DIDN'T EVEN PLAN TO DO THAT. I DON'T EVEN SING. >> Stephen: "OH, NO. WHAT HAPPENED? DID I BREAK OUT WITH A BROADWAY SHOW TUNE? DON'T WORRY, THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN TO-- ♪ WHEN YOU'RE A JET YOU'RE A JET ALL THE WAY, ♪ FROM YOUR FIRST CIGARETTE TO YOUR LAST DYIN' DAY! ♪ <i> ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )</i> COOL BOY! CRAZY BOY! EASY ACTION! ♪ MORE THAN A WOMAN TO ME ♪ BUT THE ABSOLUTE BELLE OF THE CRAZYBALLS WAS A MAN NAMED MATT BAKER, WHO OPENED HIS SPEECH LIKE THIS:<i> ( WHISTLES )</i> >> THAT'S THE WIND. THAT'S THE WIND OF TIME. THAT'S THE WIND OF HISTORY. >> Stephen: OKAY, BLOB MARLEY<i> ( LAUGHTER )</i> PRETTY SURE THAT'S THE WIND OF "YOU TRIED TO WHISTLE AND THEN REALIZED YOU COULDN'T AND PRETENDED YOU WERE IMITATING THE WIND." "YOU GUYS KNOW THE THEME SONG TO 'ANDY GRIFFITH'THEME SONG? <i> ( TRYING TO WHISTLE )</i> THAT'S THE WIND BLOWING THROUGH THE BONES OF FLOYD THE BARBER." <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i> ONCE THE WIND DIED DOWN, MATT'S SPEECH GOT PRETTY INTENSE. >> YOUR CHILDREN AND YOUR CHILDREN'S CHILDREN WILL BE SUBJUGATED! THEY WILL BE ASKED, "HOW MANY VACCINES HAVE YOU HAD? HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD LITTLE NAZI?" HEIL FAUCI! HEIL FAUCI! HEIL FAUCI! <i> ( LAUGHTER ) ( LAUGHTER )</i> <i> ( APPLAUSE ) ( LAUGHTER )</i> <i> ( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERING )</i> >> Stephen: I MISS THE WHISTLING. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i> OKAY A LITTLE ADVICE: I CAN SEE YOU'RE PASSIONATE. THIS IS IMPORTANT TO YOU. BUT I JUST WANT TO REMIND YOU OF THE PHRASE, "YOU CATCH MORE FLIES WITH HONEY THAN YOU DO WITH CRYSTAL METH." <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i> POINT IS, THEY TILTED THE COUNTRY, AND ALL THE NUTS ROLLED TO CALIFORNIA, RIGHT? ( WHISPERING ) I'M SO WORRIED FOR OUR COUNTRY, BECAUSE ONE OF THESE MANIACS ONE OF THESE MANIACS, COULD BECOME THE NEXT GOVERNOR OF CALIFORNIA. AS WE SPEAK, GOLDEN STATERS ARE DECIDING WHETHER TO RECALL CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR GAVIN NEWSOM, SEEN HERE YELLING, "BRING ME MORE POMADE!" NEWSOM IS RELATIVELY POPULAR, WITH A 57% APPROVAL RATING, BUT THAT MIGHT NOT SAVE HIM. YOU SEE, RECALL ELECTIONS ARE NOTORIOUSLY LOW TURNOUT, AND THE RULES ARE REALLY STRANGE. IF NEWSOM GETS 50% OR MORE OF THE VOTES, HE STAYS IN OFFICE, BUT IF HE GETS 49%, THE NEW GOVERNOR WILL BE WHOEVER AMONG HIS 46 CHALLENGERS GETS THE MOST VOTES, EVEN IF NO RIVAL GETS A MAJORITY. SO WHO COULD BE THE NEXT GOVERNOR OF CALIFORNIA? ACCORDING TO ONE POLL, THE FRONTRUNNER IS 29-YEAR-OLD YOUTUBE INFLUENCER KEVIN PAFFRATH. <i> ( AS YOUTUBER )</i> "WHAT UP, CALI? WHAT KIND OF POLICIES DO YOU WANNA SEE ME ENACT? HIT ME UP IN THE COMMENTS! LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE! BYEEE!"<i> ( LAUGHTER )</i> PAFFRATH IS A DEMOCRAT, BUT LAST NIGHT, THERE WAS A REPUBLICAN DEBATE, WHICH FEATURED AN INTERESTING MOMENT FOR FORMER GUBERNATORIAL NOMINEE AND MAN WHO'S SOMEHOW WHITER THAN HIS SHIRT, JOHN COX. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DEBATE, COX WAS INTERRUPTED: >> I WANT TO GIVE A SHOUTOUT FIRST TO MY FELLOW-- >> JOHN COX, YOU'VE BEEN SERVED, SAN DIEGO SUPERIOR COURT. >> Stephen: HE WAS SERVED LEGAL PAPERS WHILE HE WAS DEBATING. IT'S THE MOST EMBARRASSING DELIVERY-- <i> ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )</i> IT'S THE MOST EMBARRASSING DELIVERY IN A DEBATE SINCE ABRAHAM LINCOLN ORDERED TAKEOUT. <i> ( AS PIZZA DELIVERY GUY )</i> "UH, ABE? GOT A PIZZA FOR ABE LINCOLN, AND CRAZY BREAD FOR MARY?" REALLY? REALLY! MARY LINCOLN FANS. I DIDN'T KNOW. I'M SORRY. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i> IN OTHER RIGHT-WING NUT-JOB NEWS, THE FEDS ARE STILL IN HOT PURSUIT OF THE INSURRECTIONISTS OF JANUARY 6. AND I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IN TONIGHT'S "SEDITIONIST ROUND-UP ROUNDUP." >> THEY'VE DONE INCOW-CULABLE DAMAGE TO DE-MOOOO-CRACY! >> Stephen: FIRST UP IN THE CORRECTIONAL CORRAL: MICHIGAN RESIDENT AND ROID-RAGE UNABOMBER, LOGAN BARNHART. BARNHART WAS CAUGHT ON VIDEO BEATING A CAPITOL POLICEMAN. BUT IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME HE'S BEEN ON CAMERA, BECAUSE HE'S ALSO APPEARED SHIRTLESS ON THE COVER OF ROMANCE NOVELS. IT REMINDS ME OF WHEN THE SHAH OF IRAN WAS OVERTHROWN BY FABIO. INVESTIGATORS WERE HELPED BY BARNHART'S HUGE PRESENCE ONLINE, WHERE HE POSTS NUMEROUS VIDEOS OF HIMSELF WORKING OUT AND MODELING ON THE BOOK COVERS OF RAUNCHY NOVELS LIKE "STEPBROTHER UNSEALED," A BAD BOY MILITARY ROMANCE." "CRASH AND BURN: A SIN AND TONIC NOVEL." AND "LIGHTER"-- NAMED AFTER WHAT HE'S GOING TO BEG THE JUDGE TO MAKE HIS SENTENCE. <i> ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )</i> NEXT AT THE INSURR-RODEO, CAPITOL RIOTER MICHAEL AARON CARICO, SEEN HERE MODELING FOR... CHIQUITA BANANA? <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i> CARICO WAS ARRESTED AND CHARGED WITH SEVERAL COUNTS RELATED TO THE RIOT, THANKS TO VIDEO EVIDENCE OF HIM IN A CROWD SINGING THE WORDS "THE LAND OF THE FREE AND THE HOME OF THE BRAVE" FROM "THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER," THEN LOOKING AT A CAMERA AND SAYING, "HEY NANCY, GO (BLEEP) YOURSELF." OKAY, THAT'S AN INTERESTING CHOICE. NORMALLY, PEOPLE JUST YELL "PLAY BALL!" BUT TRYING TO OVERTHROW AN ELECTED GOVERNMENT IS JUST CARICO'S DAY JOB, BECAUSE HE'S ALSO WORKING AS AN ACTOR WHO EVEN HAS A PAGE ON IMDB. FOR PEOPLE TRYING TO EVADE THE LAW, IMDB STANDS FOR "I AM DUMB." <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i> ACCORDING TO HIS PAGE, CARICO'S LATEST ROLE IS BRAD, IN THE UPCOMING FILM, "CHRISTMAS DOWN UNDER." MAYBE HE'LL SPEND CHRISTMAS DOWN UNDER, OR MAYBE HE'LL END UP WITH THE TOP BUNK. FINALLY ON THE "SEDITIONIST ROUND-UP ROUNDUP," WE TURN TO EDUARD FLOREA, SEEN HERE IN A SOCIAL MEDIA POST SPONSORED BY COCA-COLA. <i> ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )</i> TECHNICALLY--<i> ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )</i> >> Jon: A REALLY GOOD ONE. I REALLY LIKE THAT. >> Stephen: TECHNICALLY, FLOREA DIDN'T ACTUALLY GO TO THE CAPITOL ON JANUARY 6. HE ENCOURAGED THE RIOTERS ON SOCIAL MEDIA. BUT THIS YEAR, EVERYONE'S BEEN WORKING REMOTELY. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i> FLOREA HAS BEEN ARRESTED AND PLED GUILTY FOR MAKING THREATS ONLINE AGAINST GEORGIA SENATOR RAPHAEL WARNOCK. BUT HE WASN'T EVEN VERY GOOD AT BEING VERY BAD. ON THE FAR-RIGHT SITE PARLER, HE POSTED, "WARNOCK IS GOING TO HAVE A HARD TIME CASTING VOTES FOR COMMUNIST POLICIES WHEN HE'S SWINGING WITH THE (BLEEP) FISH." WHICH IS A HORRIBLE THREAT-- AND A HORRIBLE MISQUOTING OF THE GODFATHER. <i> ( AS DON CORLEONE )</i> "I'M GONNA MAKE HIM AN OMELET HE CAN'T REFUSE... " WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. MY GUEST IS DANIEL RADCLIFFE. BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, "MEANWHILE!" <i> ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )</i> ♪ ♪ ♪

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