How Men Fall In Love - Psychology of the Male Brain in Love

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Ismael Gomez III
How Men Fall In Love - Psychology of the Male Brain in Love Relationship Advice for Women Falling i...
Video Transcript:
have you ever wondered how men fall in love what goes inside their minds and hearts when they start to develop an infatuation throughout my years of personal experience and research I tried to gain a deeper understanding of Human Relationships right and one of the things that I noticed is that all the falling in love is a universal process there's some key differences between the way that men and women behave during the love stages so in this video I want to share my insights with you and by the end of it I hope that you have
a greater understanding of the male perspective on love which can help you to navigate your own relationships so grab a seat and let's Dive In now let's take a closer look at the stages that we go through when falling in love understanding these stages can give us you know valuable insights into the emotional Journey that men experience and according to the research of Dr Helen Fisher she's like a renowned biological Anthropologist love can be divided into three main stages okay so pay attention to this the first stage is called lust and it's important to know
that lust is not the same as love it's driven by hormones like testosterone and men and estrogen and women and lust it's just like a temporary feeling on the desire for sexual gratification it's a natural instinct right that helps us find potential partners for reproduction it's when you see somebody and you really check them out and you're like damn I I really want to be with that person you know physically so then there's stage two where we have attraction also known as romantic love during this stage your focus in energy are directed towards that one
person you think about them constantly right and you crave their company this stage is driven by three chemicals in our brain norepinephrine dopamine and serotonin it's like a powerful Rush of energy and excitement scientists even compare this stage to addiction because it activates the brain's Reward Center almost like the same as when people have cocaine that's like that's how impactful this is and has a strong impact and your emotions and behavior right so typically the attraction stage lasts from like six months to two years and finally then we have stage three attachment this is a
crucial stage for men seeking long-term relationships it's a more stable and Lasting form of love right compared to the intense attraction that you feel on that stage and after around four years in the relationship you know the initial infatuation starts to fade maybe you experience this right however Something Beautiful happens when this occurs right two hormones oxytocin and vasopressin come into play and they create a sense of attachment and nurture your bond with your partner and don't think about you know there is healthy attachments and don't think about this as codependent see this stage is
about building a life together you know raising a family and finding contentment in each other's presence now let me point out that love doesn't always follow you know a strict progression this is not like a complete you know map that everybody follows but what most relationships start with lust and then move into attachments some guys may skip these two and go straight into attachment and this can happen in situations like arranged uh marriages right where love and connection develop over time or some other guys may only feel lust and they never get to feel attraction
in even less uh attachments and that's when they you know stop replying to you they pull away or they ghost you never make a man chase you I know some of the most popular videos that you ladies watch say things like how to make him chase you right well here's what you haven't thought about a secure man will never chase he will Express that he's interested in you but if you start playing hard to get or any other manipulative game he will direct his attention somewhere else a man that chases you intensely is a man
that likes the feeling of pursuing what's out of his reach so once he has you a few months or a few years may pass but eventually in most cases he will have to drive to chase someone else again now let's dig deeper into how men actually fall in love like I mentioned before you know men and women have different chemical players right when it comes to falling in love and one of the most important differences is the role of oxytocin which remember oxytocin as as the chemical that creates kind of like a sense of attachment
with the other person and an interesting fact is that when men are in the early stages of dating their testosterone levels actually tend to be higher so this increase in testosterone blocks the bonding effects of oxytocin and as the relationship progresses actually oxytocin gradually begins to play a more prominent role for men so what does this mean it means that genuine Love Takes a lot of time to develop in a man's brain and it's not solely based on physical attraction so if you want a man to experience the depths of love you need to make
sure that you build a strong emotional connection with him over time now let's address a common misconception in society that men fall in love solely through physical intimacy right one of the experts I follow online she's a biologist named uh Don masler and you can check some of her work here on YouTube she's got some TED talks but basically she points out that the notion that men automatically fall in love in the bedroom is not entirely accurate in fact some men may even lose interest if intercourse happens too quickly and this phenomenon is known as
the Coolidge effect this is a phenomenon observed in animals where males lose interest in mating with the same female but show increased interest in new females and this effect can sometimes come into play when sex happens too quickly in human relationships potentially leading to a loss of Interest however you know it's important to note again that the coolish effect doesn't apply in every case right man can still fall in love with women they have early sex social encounters with but I would say it's less likely and I have experienced this in my own life where
I slept with someone and right afterwards I realized that I only had lust for them and I I completely lost interest in a week that's why I always give the advice to wait to get to know each other better especially if you're a woman trying to get to know a man and let the initial uh the initial lust stage fade out because it's like if you swallow food right without chewing it first you cannot really appreciate the taste of it and let me confess to you that I've had a lot of casual sex in the
past and although it may have felt good right at the moment for a couple of hours or sometimes for a couple of minutes I always craved something more but I couldn't point out what it was because I had not experienced it like I explained in the last stage our testosterone levels are higher and we want to satisfy our needs so a lot of men are not conscious enough to play the long game game and they go for instant gratification because doing the opposite is basically fighting against your animal instincts and hormones especially when you find
a woman quite attractive and is definitely an inner battle that a lot of men cannot you know really face and it took me almost a decade to realize that but once I experienced profound intimacy and genuine love for a woman I understood that you know it took time for that to develop and now since I've been single for 2023 I actually I try to abstain from sleeping with women that are not in a relationship with me and I try to encourage other men and women like yourself to do the same okay so that's it for
today I hope that you learned a lot about the male psychology and falling in love and if you like this video please subscribe to the channel and also give it a thumbs up I hope that you have a beautiful day and always remember that for your relationships to change you need to change
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