You have to TEACH people how to FEEL about you: the essence of game

I'm Dr Orion taraban and this is psycax Better Living Through psychology and the topic today short talk is you have to teach people how to feel about you this is true for all relationships and it's especially true with respect to your interactions with women so if you want to learn how to present yourself confidently in Social relationships then this episode is for you what you have to understand is that in the beginning you are basically a blank slate to other people yes folks are going to take a look at your physical appearance and the way

you dress and the way you carry yourself and form some snap judgments with respect to the kind of person you might be this is going to happen and that's why first impressions are so important however a lot of the things that go into a first impression can actually be proactively addressed prior to Any Given interaction you can give a lot of thought to your dress and your appearance and your carriage in advance and if you do these kind of passively exert their influence throughout the encounter so you can focus on other things so in the

beginning people don't know much more about you besides that which means that in these initial interactions what you're primarily doing no matter what you are ostensibly discussing is teaching people how they should feel about you and you do this through your non-verbals your tone your expression your body language your eye contact Etc and if you're like most people you probably want whomever you're speaking with to come away from the interaction with a positive impression of you I'm going to teach you how to do that the key to teaching people how to feel positively about you

is to imagine that you are the world's greatest vacuum cleaner salesman you're gonna have to go with me on this one okay so let's start from the beginning first you have to understand that when a person walks into your shop the wind didn't just blow her in man now not every person who enters your shop is going to become a customer however she wouldn't be there at all if there wasn't some degree of interest on her part so if you're having an interaction with someone it helps to assume interest in the other party with respect

to the interaction second unless this person makes a b line straight to one particular product she doesn't yet know what she wants she has a vague desire like she's interested in buying something to help her clean up around the house but she doesn't yet know what she wants specifically she is as of yet at least partially ignorant of her own needs and desires that's where you the world's greatest vacuum cleaner salesman come in you are there to educate her with respect to her needs and desires and to direct her attention to what she should consider

to be her best option which just so happens to be a product you sell in your store now every great salesman knows that one of the secrets of his success is believing in his product 100 percent a master salesman not only knows his product inside and out like he should be able to explain in loving detail all of the wonderful things of which his vacuum is capable but he also believes that his product is the best vacuum cleaner available on the market in this class at this Price Point West in the Mississippi or whatever compartmentalization

he has to perform in order to be able to authentically arrive at this conclusion and that total belief permeates through the non-verbal dimensions of his communication as he educates the potential customer as to how this vacuum is going to solve all of her dander problems and make cleaning a breeze now before I go any further if you're liking this message then please consider sending this episode to someone who might benefit from it because it's Word of Mouth referrals like this that really help to make the channel grow you can also hit the thanks button it's

in the lower right hand corner beneath this video and tip me in proportion to the value you feel you derived from this message I don't do product placements or endorsements so this is how I keep the lights on can't do it without you and I really appreciate your support okay third the world's greatest vacuum cleaner salesman understands that most of his education has little to do with the actual specs of his product it weighs 6.2 pounds runs on 12 volts of electricity and has a 25 foot extension cord but with how the customer should feel

about the specs of his product remember the customer is ignorant otherwise she would already have the vacuum she needed the salesman has to educate the customer with respect to the fact that 6.2 pounds is light and easy to handle and 12 volts of electricity is energy efficient and cost effective and a 25 foot extension cord is generous and convenient his manner will communicate that these are all good and desirable things for a vacuum to have which will help the customer understand why this happens to be her best option like many things in life you have

to believe it to see it now at this point you might be thinking yeah Ryan okay that's all well and good but the fact of the matter is is that my vacuum is objectively not the best vacuum on the market like my vacuum isn't six feet tall or isn't worth a million dollars or it's just seen better days how am I supposed to believe in this product of mine when it's objectively defective relative to other models excellent question the answer to this question is the fourth understanding of the master salesman if it's not a flaw

it's a feature this might blow your mind but there's no such thing as an objective flaw the flaw or deficit actually lives in your perception and your attitude and the idea here is to recast your vacuum's perceived liabilities as Assets in reality why would anyone want a six foot tall vacuum that would be massive and ungainly this model is Nimble and compact all the power in a fraction of the space or a million dollar vacuum I mean I guess if you want something flashy and impractical be my guest but this model is Affordable precisely because

all of its features are focused on its functionality leaving you more satisfied in a fraction of the time or finally seen better days okay don't be ridiculous this here is a classic bit of engineering it stood the test of time so it's actually a safer bet do you see the apparent flaw is an artifact of your customers ignorance and it's your job to gently re-educate her with respect to how the feature in question is not only not a liability but is actually an asset to boot now you might say but Orion won't the customer know

that I'm full of and I would respond that she might but that is the customer's business you do not have to help the customer arrive at that conclusion my friend your business is to present your product in the best possible light and guide the customer in the process of making up her mind you have absolutely no obligation to help her reject you so whatever you're insecure about whatever you think is a liability with respect to your product's competitiveness in the marketplace you need to find a way to recast that in a positive light so that

you can once again believe in your product 100 percent and that brings us to the final piece of advice despite your best efforts not everyone is going to buy your vacuum cleaner that's right but if your sales funnel is strong you can make a killing if just one percent of the people who walk into your store actually end up buying something so there's really no reason to make a Hard Sell however might some of these non-buyers complain about your product might they criticize your product might they even insult your salesmanship indeed they might but here's

the important thing to remember these people aren't your customers and this means that their opinion is functionally worthless like there are tons of people who are critical of fast food but McDonald's doesn't worry about them because they ain't buying Big Macs do you understand catering to that demographic would be a terrible business plan for Mickey D's the lesson here is to understand who your customers actually are and practice indifference to the opinions of those who are not in your client base so there you have it if you can learn the lessons of the world's greatest

vacuum cleaner salesman you too can be confident and poised in any interaction satisfaction or your money back what do you think does this fit with your own experience let me know in the comments below and if you've gotten this far you might as well like this episode And subscribe to this channel you may also consider becoming a channel member with perks like the priority review of comments or booking a paid consultation as always thank you for listening