Alexis Ren: How to Utilize your Feminine Energy in this Masculine World

for so long my life has been a performance as soon as you perform you're on a stage and people critique you because it's a performance but if I'm not performing if I'm just being myself here you don't have the right to critique it Alexis Ren is an actress entrepreneur model and mental health Advocate she starred in movies including latency and the enforcer Alexis founded the incredible we are warriors Wellness Community in 2020 it focuses on self-growth love and strength for women she uses her social media platform to share messages that impact the world for good

you know either everything is sacred or none of it is and I decided that all of it is that's what I felt with all of that with like investing in taxes and crypto it was so masculine first in informal so very masculine no offense but we don't need like another industry like dominated by masculinity I'm Ry deia and on my podcast a really good cry we embrace the real the messy and the Beautiful providing a space for raw unfiltered conversations that celebrate vulnerability and allow you to tune in to learn connect and find Comfort together

I am so excited to have you here thank you and everyone that's listening let me just give you a bit of a background I have we've known each other for a good few years now years whenever we have met I feel our conversations have just been so wonderful I've always left either learning something from you or feeling inspired by you in some way or feeling like oh my gosh I have so much more to learn in my life because I've just seen how you absorb information and how you share it with people and so honestly

when I was thinking about all the things I've learned from you and I don't even know whether you know that I felt that way about you but it really when I when I thought about who I wanted on I was like I need I want you to share what you have with whoever is listening and so thank you so much for being here that was so sweet no I really mean it and I don't know whether you know this but the one thing that I found incredible and what I was really attracted by for you

is the way that you speak about money and women and finances and you talk me about nfts and all these things which I personally and so many women feel fairly uncomfortable dealing with or becoming comfortable with so I would love to hear how you actually got got to that position of feeling so empowered in that space I feel like it always goes back to my mom just because she she had me question everything in life like my ability to learn comes from my ability to ask good questions you have to know a little bit about

something in order to even ask the good questions so I'm always like when I'm talking about um talking to my I don't know the correct term for them but like investment advisor I don't know there Financial advis I'm just like I apologize if this is a stupid question and correct me or divert the question into what you think I'm trying to say because I'm learning as I'm even creating these sentences yes so I think it's it's your ability to be okay with sounding a little stupid really has helped me because when I've stopped judging myself

for not knowing because there's so many things about more in like the aspect of business and finances that we as women kind of or just everyone in general kind of pretends to know CU we're like oh totally 100% like I know what that is f Ira totally like Roth IRA like I know all about that yeah totally so I've had to just sit down it's almost like you know with writers block when you just the hardest part is sitting down that's what I felt with all of that with like investing in taxes and crypto it

was like it was so masculine first and foremost it very masculine a lot of like Bros being like Oh I'm just like oh great great no offense but we don't need like another industry like dominated by masculinity it was really just about getting through that resistance and starting to just ask dumb questions it is it is like for me if I'm completely I feel like I was able to in people's eyes I leaned into the feminine aspects in inverted commas of life like I love cooking I love doing like a lot of the things which

people think is is part of a feminine nature and when it came to business and money and I think it's part of a culture thing that I came from as well where I felt like that was the man's job like that is something the man does and into I also from my mom I remember her telling me like when you get to a certain point in your life you're going to regret not knowing not understanding and not being in charge of your own finances like you really will feel that void because you will feel like

a part of you you don't have control of and I still went through that and then when I became an entrepreneur in some way and I started having uh you know I created businesses I was still kind of taking my own power away from myself and giving it away to people because I didn't believe I had the capability to do it because of the way that I had told my mind like you're not good with numbers you're not good with money just give that away to people and and you'll be fine like you don't need

you don't want to do that I me but like I don't want to but to understand it to know you can do it without like you can still give it away knowing that you have other places you want to invest your time yeah but at the same time I want to know am I being taken advantage of how do I even know how do I even know where I pay taxes or what I all those little questions I think it's important to know and then give away rather than Give It Away with no knowledge at

all how crazy is it that school doesn't teach that I know that makes me so sad I was mind blown I was like they don't use teach you the basics of a credit card or savings or like investing in any way like people have this idea that in order to invest you have to have like millions of dollars and I'm like no you could start with literally $20 like $40 it's it's it's the long term it's just the sooner you do it the better because it's compounding it compound interests like over your lifetime so it's

not how much you put in it's how early you do it and there's like even I've been learning my parents didn't know this you know but you can start investing for your child when they're like I don't know the proper terms but yeah that you can like put them under you so they already have Investments sa going on yeah not even savings Investments like this it's there's so many levels to it and it's my friend who is an accountant he says the tax book is like a guide It's not like a list of rules you

have to obey or disobey it's a guide on how to benefit from the system yeah and when he told me that I was like okay that takes like this idea of like the system being against me in that way because knowledge is the best form of power in my mind so and the best form of of finding your way out of fear like you're always scared of things that you don't know you're always scared of the unknown or the the possibilities that could come before they've even happened and so that's how I every time I

feel scared of something like finan I'm okay let me at least be knowledge let me inform myself and then it's not this big scary monster underneath my bed it's something that I at least have an understanding of yeah so you keep waiting and waiting and waiting and you're like I should have done this last year and last year and it just keeps compiling in that way and that feels like not good at all yeah just facing it the same way you would face going to yoga class I don't want to go to yoga I don't

want to work out but like I love the feeling of power and calmness and peace that I feel afterwards like that's what I'm training my mind to do is to be able to hold and wait for the feeling of um satisfaction from something great as opposed to something sudden and just you know like watching TV or doing something like that which all of those has have a purpose like of course but teaching my mind to love those moments of the overcoming yes it becomes addicted because we all we're all addicts we're all addicts so you

have to change that addict to a habit and then you go forth using it cuz we love routine we love having something that we can count on and do every day that brings us this sense of safety MH cuz the only promise in life is change so we need to pretend with our coffee each morning like this is my security yeah exactly no I love that that's so true I I find that with myself also like I find that I always want things to remain the same and I don't want to we don't yeah but

I know then you want then you want paradoxical too confusing we're ridiculous we like want every we want and I think that's like what I've been learning I've been obsessed with paradoxes for the last couple of years and it's like this Divine Paradox of like being both wanting both like it being both all the time like two a truth is but half truth like it's there's always a pair of opposites like you are and you're not like it's the universe is and isn't at the same time like all of it exists and doesn't at the

same time bro I was I have all my notes about talking to you about existential stuff and we already got there so this is basically yeah like you are just a field of so many different incredible things and I just love it because we can go from talking about finances to talking about are are we really here is this the meaning of life like what are we even doing here because it goes from like this is it to this is it you know like that's life that really is it and I know you mentioned this

before with the finances about um it being a masculine industry and I I wanted to ask you how you manag to balance your you know cuz every single person whatever you if we are human we need to learn how to balance our feminine and masculine within us we all have both tendencies in us both energies in us and sometimes when you are a businesswoman when you are someone who is is is having to lean into that area of your life it's difficult to balance that feminine and masculine energy and so I don't know whether you

felt that or how you've managed to to create that balance in your life yeah so it was kind of interesting because you think and I've seen this so many times with females like when they go into a very masculine masculine dominated space they tend to become masculine and we're like okay well that's not the solution either because now we're just bringing the same energy so what I've learned is when I feel like I'm in a space that's super masculine dominated I actually lean more into my feminine than I would do than anything else because I

know that's what's missing like I always like to look at situations and be like what is the missing ingredient and can I become that because then I can effortlessly fit into an experience or relationship ship or because it's we're all made up like our our characters our personalities that's what I've learned with acting is like the me that I've built is completely made up and can be changed and switched around and so not leaning so hard on like the permanence of our identity and leading more into just like who what can I transform into for

this moment to be whole I guess yeah and I love what you said because I would have thought that's how that's how I react in situations like I go into an environment that may be very different to me and I feel like I have to adapt to that environment versus being someone who is bringing something new to the table you have this habit of wanting to fit in right like especially as F we're like What how can we yeah how can I mold myself and adapt myself to fit in rather than stand out and I've

actually seen you do that and that's why I wanted to bring up because I feel like I've seen you bring this energy about yourself of confidence and value in an environment which we walked into this environment I don't want to give full details I remember this we walked into an environment where um it was meant to be someone else who was in power like they had the ability to say yes or no to us about something and I walked in there fully ready to be like a surrendered person I so Happ you were there I

know but I I basically I did nothing to it but um I was there in moral support but we walked in and I thought it was going to be a kind of okay this person is going to tell us what they want and we're going to try and adapt to make it happen so that we get it but we're probably going to have to compromise and Alexis walked in this place and well I walked in and she was already there but I was in awe like I I was watching her through this situation and she

managed to fully take power and control of what was happening in the room when the power dynamic in a natural setting wouldn't have been that way it would have been the other way and I just thought that was so I remember talking about that to so many people after I was in that situation with you because it is so hard to embrace exactly who you are and go into an environment where you should kind of be the one no not should be but your tendency is to be you feel like you are the less Superior

person in the room but you did that and like I think it was such a beautiful example of how and you brought feminine energy you didn't even bring in I'm going to meet masculine with masculine like you didn't do that you leaned into the softness and like your like that side of things and I just thought that was so beautiful to see it really was it was amazing thank you like Laura and I still talk about that moment it was a great moment it was a great moment no I I genuinely like first of all

when I was younger I went up to my mom and I was like why do I have to call Steve Mr so and so like why can't I just call him by Steve and I'm like 9 years old my mom's like call him Steve like I don't care you know like I know that there's this level of like they're here and I'm here even when I was a child it was like the parents and me my mom kind of always like started to poke at me to be like you can be there too like you

can meet them too so I think that element really helped like that belief I think when everyone's looking for someone who's confident and I gotten myself into like not so good situations because I'm like this person's so confident they must know what they're talking about you know so I've learned that like confidence is a choice it's not something you cultivate it's actually something you get after you do the thing that people would call being confident right um it's the feeling you get after that and then also I've learned a lot as far as marketing I

think there's like similar with like acting advice and parenting advice learning about marketing and like people's subconscious um desires and behaviors and like it's it's a it's a trillion dollar industry like we drive down sunet Bart and it's like every and I'm like and don't text and drive for sure God Like You Know It's Just like everyone's trying to get our attention yeah so I think there's a level of like knowing that people are looking for someone who truly believes in something and feels something I love playing into being a woman and like having that

presence because I think that divine feminine actually is really powerful and really more sturdy than I think people realize like as much as it's like nurturing and openhearted it's also and creative it's also very solid and how and grounding and it's it's I feel like that the feeling and the the nature of Mother Earth and how we are grounded by her and how she encapsulates all of us it's like that's the same qualities that the divine feminine has in us and in everybody I loved watching you do that because it felt like it allowed me

to lean into that so much more and I think all of that comes with you know that comes with being able to be emotional at the right times being able to be vulnerable at the right right times like when you end up being able to lean into that you see it as a strength rather than a weakness yeah especially in those environments have you like on your journey because now as you've become an entrepreneur and now you have this podcast like what heard not hurdles but what things have you started to experience that is like

new in the space of business for you as an entrepreneur honestly everything like I never saw myself as being a businesswoman I never in my life grew up and was like even I thought I was going to be a dietician in a hospital number one that's what I was training to be and even as that I never saw myself as a businesswoman I saw myself as a healthcare worker and so in that respect there was never a oh I'm an entrepreneur or I'm you know anything like that you know yeah exactly even that movement right

that's like the the the walking down with a briefcase type of person and when I ended up being kind of and I don't say thrown into this because everything happened for a reason but it was an unexpected turn that I took in my journey of becoming this and so I have this tendency to feel like I'm living someone else's life and I don't know if you've ever felt that way but I always I have this feeling that I'm almost like it's not imposturous a little bit of that I guess I guess it would be interesting

way to put it I look at my life and I'm like I don't even know whether this is the life I was supposed to be living it it feels so distant to me it's almost like I'm learning how to live my life versus feeling like it's something natural that I'm doing and so I've gone through a lot of ups and downs with it where and I I go through a breakdown like every month I'm like I think I should just like switch off my Instagram and just like go and I have this thing of honestly

being like maybe I should just go to India and just really figure out who I am and I'm like running away to figure out who I am is not the answer but also that's a trick question that is a trick question that is a trick question but I I have I have found it really difficult and you know sitting in when people ask me to be on panels for example of being an entrepreneur or a female this I'm like I feel uncomfortable yeah you I think I don't think you understand I'm really new at this

I've got nothing to say and so I I'm starting to learn how to build my confidence in this area I still feel like I'm at the beginning even doing this I'm like you know there's always that sense of not knowing whether you have something to say or not knowing whether what you say is valuable and I I've shared about this recently where the only thing that pushed me to do it was knowing that whatever I was learning is wasted just being in me like whatever I have whatever I've learned whatever experiences I've been through just

harnessing it within me is not useful it's actually detrimental because it creates ego in your body like it creates ego and stagnant energy everything should flow that's also something I wanted to ask you like how did you how did you even get to a point where you felt confident in your abilities and and felt like you were able to not only share it amongst the people that you know create this incredible Community which by the way Alexis has an amazing Community called we are warriors and it's all females and it's empowering and it's all the

things that you'd want to learn that you don't get taught in school they teach in that and they discuss in that but how did you get to a point of knowing that you have this information but feel comfortable enough to open it out to so many other people and and be so you stand in your power a lot that's what I love about you I think when you don't give yourself a choice I know that sounds kind of like examp the podcast well first of all it helped because the the community was gated and so

I felt very safe in that sense where it wasn't like because you know with being in the spotlight for 10 years now it's like everything I do it can't be a test run I know and it's like I know it can't be a test run he has to be great or people are going to be like what the hell is she doing like she starts acting she has to be great like you know and then there's that idea of people you know of course like of course I'm privileged of course and so there's that level

of like um she just got put there and all of that so being able to learn how to truly like and that's paradoxical learn Le how to be a teacher being a student to learning how to be a teacher was so special in that Community because the girls held me just as much as I held them like it it's very interactive like the girls raise their hand and we talk about different subjects it's not you know I'm not I I've gotten to the point where I can really host like a full Workshop without someone coming

up because incredible it's but it's repetition I think one of the biggest secrets to anything is repetition it's not like yes Talent matters to an extent but like if you can just be consistent I've been doing the Friday call for 3 years now you know and it's like because of that I've been a I'm a better speaker I'm more confident in who I am because and this is something I'm working on actually recently and I want to know your opinion about this is for so long my life has been a performance that I've almost gone

kind of like the Anti Hero it's like an anti- performance because as soon as you perform you're on a stage and people critique you because it's a performance but if I'm not performing if I'm just being myself here you don't have the right to critique it you might but it's none of my business anymore because I wasn't performing does that make sense where it's like a weird like switch in perception so that's what I've been testing with myself right now is was that a performance or was that me speaking from an authentic place and finding

the difference of that is the levity because it takes the weight off of the judgments or opinions of how I said something or if I said said something wrong I'm also not attached I have this one of my favorite quotes in the world I found it when I was like 17 on Tumblr it's called strong beliefs loosely held and I think that's just how I live my entire life where it's like I I have very strong beliefs but if you give me something better why like I'm GNA take that like I don't care like but

it's but I do have strong beliefs but I'm very just like how I am with my identity nowadays like I don't even with my style it's like I I tried so hard to find myself out I was like I'm Street Wear I'm this I'm and it's just like you can be it really depends on the day you can do it all like and that's with that's with personality that's with speaking that's with fashion that's with identity like it all can change and evolve and be everything or nothing at the same time and I think that's

what's so beautiful and I think for me it's just been finding out where I can take the weight off and I think you understand this too where when you're speaking and something comes over you a lot of people call it Flow State in science to me that's channeling that's not me anymore like and people say wow what you did was amazing like I'm pretty sure that experience you were talking about with Laura like that was I don't really think that was me that was just needed that's I was just open enough to be able to

receive what needed to be said in that experience for us to get what was supposed to happen and that also is huge to take the weight off it's like yes I want to influence every scenario I'm in for my desire but like whatever is meant to be is meant to be and so if I'm supposed to say something to push this forward it will happen because I'm open but that's still not up to me none of it's up to me nor is it my responsibility and so I know that sounds weird cuz it's like these

are the things I'm saying and it's coming through me but it they're the weight's off now because I'm like I have a partnership with the all God whatever yeah I can honestly relate to that so much the reason I actually started the podcast was because I was going on other people's podcasts and I would be so nervous to go on and I'd be thinking about like I don't even know what I'm going to say I have no idea what's even going to come out of my mouth and it was weird for me because I went

in so not confident and I would come out of these podcasts and I would speak to my mom or whoever and I'd be like I didn't even know that I had that in me I had no learn knew things from yourself yes that's that's why I love it that's why I do the community that's why I like I'm obviously going to start too cuz it's like this is way too fun yeah it's just and I listened back people what did you talk about and I was like I honestly cannot remember the words that came out

of my mouth and then I watch it back and I'm like wow I didn't even know I had the ability to vocalize how I felt or what I knew in that way and that's the reason I ended up starting it because I loved having those convers I would come out of those podcasts and I'd be like that was so beautiful to be able to open my heart in that way exactly but in that way where you end up feeling like I loved going in not knowing what I was going to talk about I loved going

in the unknowing being okay with the unknowing lets the channeling happen so much easier as surrender planning Jesus Christ amount of time I have gotten in my own way cuz I'm just like I know what to say and God's like the [ __ ] out exactly no it's it's true and and that flow State comes and I feel whenever I whenever I think about I feel like I've I've been in that situation where I come out and I feel amazing about what's been shared and and I've opened up my heart that's happened on Jay's podcast

where he asks me a question about our relationship and I answer and he's like I didn't even know that you felt that way I'm like oh crap like oh no I'm so sorry and I actually did that on our last podcast and it was almost to a point where I was like should I get that taken off because I don't know whether that's going to come across right but I didn't but it was it that's how open when you get into a conversation and you get asked questions that that spark something in you or that

trigger something in you and you it forces you to show up I also think very something special I really learned with you and Jay was um shortly after that meeting you invited me and my friends come over here yeah for that like small gathering and so much happens when you create a space for it and I noticed that when um I'm G to bit what's your her name jov Jovie love her by the way when she plays Rise phen that was like one of my all-time favorite songs in 2020 so I was like I'm crying

it was the space that you created cre that invited the moments in the channel so like even now it's like you've created the space in which now it can come so I think you know I I make it a really I'm sure everyone does this to an extent but it's like I light incense I like candles like I make sure that I'm creating a place where Spirit like wants to come yeah where you feel at ease and at Comfort because as soon as anxiety comes over or as soon as you're too much in your head

you almost forget what you even have to offer and I get in that space lot where it's almost that something else is I'm not allowing myself to be and to accept my own self because I'm so nervous about how I'm showing up that actually the version of me that I love and that I actually want to be shared is almost suppressed because I'm I'm thinking too much about what I'm showing up as and who I am oh it's so true and that's what I've been battling with but like seeing in myself especially with you know

podcasts in general what I've what I've also seen is I actually learned this in a Summit last month forced deep talk is this same coin of small talk yeah and I can't tell you how many times I'm in a conversation where I'm like I know you're trying to get the point across that like you're spiritual and deep and like I respect that this is not authentic right and so learning to not force the vulnerability has been huge for me because you know with people wanting to monetize my story on their own platforms whatever and it's

all good it's like I invited sometimes there's been scenarios where you know when you have a vulnerability hangover and you're like that starts to feel like a script yes not who you are yes oh I had to learn that not the hard way but I learned it recently and I was like no more because I think what we're now looking for is just good conversations good conversation and everyone's deep trauma like exctly good conversations all I need but also when you end up and I heard this quote and this is something that I've always tried

to every time I feel like I move away from it I try to go towards it again it's kind of like my uh what's the word like Northern North light what's the word for it North light Northstar Northstar thank you Integrity is when your words your actions and your thoughts are all aligned and I've noticed that whenever I've heard people speak in that way and whenever I've felt something when people speak it's because those three are in are in alignment and so whenever and that's why I feel whenever I've seen you in that state whenever

I've heard people speak and it's affected me it only affects the heart when all three of those are aligned that's when you have the most power to penetrate someone else's heart to actually affect them and Inspire them deeply is when you're living it you're breathing it you're saying it and you're feeling it at the same time and it takes a lot of prep it takes a lot of practice a lot of like sorry consistency consisten of showing up like every morning I was writing in my journal the other day and I'm just like every morning

like I conquer me and my connection basically cuz it's like every morning all I want is connection and yet the little my connection yeah like the little me and me is just like no like I don't want to do it like running away from the one thing I want I'm just like this all day until I finally like sit down and I write or I finally do the thing I want or I dance or whatever it is but it's like we want connection so bad and it's so funny that we just run around circles and

like all day so having that worth ethic to show up for yourself in that way is what's created me today and and the confidence in you because it is the confidence it is because because you prove to yourself you can show up for yourself it's true and I realized that's why I didn't have faith in myself like that's why I had this habit of giving everybody else my power or believing that somebody else knew me better or could say things better than me because I was not completing things I was not every single day following

through with what I said I was going to do and so the relationship that I had with myself was so terrible and why would I believe myself just like I wouldn't believe a guy who kept telling me I'm going to be there at this time I'm going to be there at this time I'm going to show up in this way and they never show up but for some reason I keep thinking I should have a good relationship with myself without doing that work and so I've been working on that like actually getting things started like

I have this fear of starting things which I think a lot of people have podcast book all the things that I've done it's been what you said throwing myself into it making myself loud you're like oh [ __ ] exactly you finally say out loud you have people who make you accountable you create that environment where where you actually have accountability and I think a lot of the time we end up not telling people things or shying away from even if we're like oh you know even if it's something like I want to get healthy

and I want to go for a walk for 30 minutes every day telling someone or at least telling one person or telling your community that this is what I'm trying to do it makes you accountable and it helps give you that and it doesn't mean that people shouldn't give you Grace but it if you struggle with accountability to yourself it's useful being able to share that with other people so that you have at least that starts you off what I had to do then what happens is that once you get into that routine then you

can start to build trust with your intuition so you can say okay I've been so consistent with myself today I don't really feel good I'm not go on that walk today it doesn't mean that I'm not abiding to the you know this work ethic and this trust in myself it's just I'm listening to my intuition now so there's like that progression from like I trust myself now to finish things and get things done and do things and change and grow and then you you have this beautiful you know leeway where you can just be like

I'm okay today and and not have guilt because you trust yourself now and your voice gets stronger the more you actually allow the rest days can actually R you know yes and the more you end up listening to your own voice or actually trying to tune into it the louder that gets and the quieter other people's voices get and again that's something I'm trying to practice because I've quietened my own voice for so long that I am trying to tell it it's okay like it's okay for you to speak it's okay for you to to

actually voice how you're feeling because I'm here to listen to you now and it's having like everything that you have in a relationship with someone else it's just I don't know why that that coin doesn't drop I I feel like I'm getting all these phrases WR coin doesn't drop I don't know why that this is going to be like a common thing I think in the podcast where it's like getting those phrases that pin the pin not the coin H the wolf that cried boy I'm I don't know why that doesn't drop earlier that actually

like the more you listen to yourself the the stronger your connection with yourself gets and what you were saying about your intuition it's hard to know what is intuition and what's what's not if you aren't spending that time in that relationship exactly like this that concept of intuitive eating I didn't understand it forever because I didn't trust myself nor did I have a relationship with my intuition so you have to build that trust and respect and then you can trust the intuition and then you can move with the current of your life as opposed to

moving against it because you build the current that you're moving in but you have to build it for a very long time and then I think there's so many different SE just like how we have seasons on you know Earth and stuff it's the same way with us like we have seasons where we're hibernating and going through deeper darker work or sometimes we're you know flying on top of the world and it's for me it's learning to actually accept where I am as opposed to being like I'm working so much God I wish I was

in bed I'm in bed I wish I was working like that I hate and I I've really made it a priority to not swing with the pendulum and actually become the pendulum and truly just be like I'm here embrace it embra 100% embrace it and like you know how we were speaking we were going to go to New York next week um separately but hey we can just science together together um like that is starting to be a very packed week and it's like now I'm so I'm enjoying this week of like I get to

go home and have dinner you know and just relax and trusting that I'm gonna show up at the right time because I think also too my sister Ally went through this last week where she was like I'm tired today like I shouldn't be tired today and I was like but you have nothing to do today so I think your body is saying it's safe to just rest so stop thinking that you have to always be on and trust that when you need to be on you will yes and so that will just that will release

everything and so now when I feel tired when I have tired days I'm like okay like it's great it's kind of like a woman's period it's like she's never betrayed me I'm always terrified when she's going to come but she's never betrayed me so far so we're good but it's like it's that it's just trusting that it's happening now because it can yes and then when you need to show up in a different way you will and separating that has been huge because it's taken once again that guilt yes of like I shouldn't be tired

right now what's wrong should I power through this like where's the Caffe and they do say that it's when you're in tune with your body your body knows when you're about to take a break or even if your mind knows that this is when a holiday is coming up or vacation's coming up or there's time to breathe that's actually when a lot of people get illnesses or they end up getting colds and coughs because they're in the state of their mind knows finally I'm able to rest finally I'm able to feel yeah but obviously it's

not convenient because you're on vacation and you're ill but a lot of people do get that people have found that when they end up actually relaxing their body that's when their body feels like it's okay for me to show you what's wrong I think that too like when you get more um self Weare and introspective and and grounded into your body I have you know friends who are like I'm just so sensitive now and I was like that's good that's a good sign and accept that sensitivity because we're so used to you know to an

extent like being numb as the goal as opposed to swinging and be being the pendulum I love what you said about that because I you can sometimes fall into that trap of of oh I've got a lot going on and there's so much that I have to do versus being like I'm so grateful that I have and it actually touches on something that I heard you say I think it was on the we are warriors's page and it was about when you get opportunities in your life that come to you that you've been wanting even

if they don't end up happening instead of you saying I didn't get that or this didn't happen in my life you say I'm so grateful that life even showed me this was possible I didn't even know it was possible and I think it's that whole concept of being ready to be ready just being happy and being ready I think I I think especially with girls you know when they when you you're about to go on a vacation here's something everyone can really to and you're like I can get my hair done I'll get my nails

done before it's that preparation that's so fun the getting ready before the event like all of that is also a reflection of manifestation in life and so when I learned that through like this one experience where I was going to get this huge campaign and I did I was like I didn't even know that they were thinking of me like that's so nice like that's so kind and maybe not this time but to now know that that's possible and then also having the deep deep belief that whatever is coming in replace of that is even

better because I have it's a hard pill to swallow there it's a really hard pill to swallow but like it's my favorite thing to believe is like life just keeps getting better how do you balance that cuz when you were saying that I was thinking I every time I get a opportunity I'm like I can't believe I got that like but how do you how do you bance I know I don't even know like how did I even get on their radar how does this person even know me wait like I are you sure they've

got the right person so how do you balance that kind of the the thought process that I'm having having versus changing it into a positive thing of like it's not because you doubted yourself that you can't believe it I feel like I doubt myself and that's why I am surprised that oh wow they even thought about me yours is like oh wow I can't believe they thought about me my belief is like I already believe in myself I already see myself and so when when people you know give me an opportunity I'm just like oh

great you see me too like that's my belief because I've worked so hard and so it's like I like I truly love myself cuz I've put through so much work and so for me it's more like oh like you see it too like cool and that sounds I guess you could a lot of people could look at that from like a negative you know maybe conceited perspective but it's it's a groundedness and an unwavering in the potential of joy that I can bring to others experiences and what gave you that U because I think this

would be really helpful for people and I would love to know like what were the few things I know consistency is something we spoke about being consistent with yourself building up confidence and trust in yourself your community is a reflection of you so like if you have friends that are just amazing yeah bu yourself in the back cuz you're a reflection of them like I have literally the coolest family like ever and they are all wanting to become Legends in life because why not you know like that's always what I lean towards it's just like

why not why not like be the top level in this video game you know why not like it's like we're going to be you know we're saying goodbye either way so you might as well give 100% And then also like learning that it's a paradox where it's like I'm giving 100% but I'm also practicing non-attachment yes paradoxical once again paradoxes yeah all truths are but half truths and so like it's definitely the the work ethic that you have and that doesn't have to be in work like for me my trust in myself comes from my

ability to use my body I wouldn't know how deeply I can invest myself into something if it wasn't for me being a ballerina for the last 20 years you know a lot of commitment a lot of commy and maybe it might not be more of a physical work ethic it still proves to me that I can do something 100% so whatever it is find something you can do 100% just show yourself that you can do something 100% it kind of seep into everything SE into everything else because everything is every it's all connect it's it's

all true you know either everything is sacred or none of it is and I just I decided that all of it is so if I can find things that I want to give 100% of myself into things that are worth 100% of myself come to me yes yeah come to me come to me um no that's so true I I do think that when you end up in picking one area of your life like okay let's say your whole life is shambles let's say every part of your life right now let's just say every single

part of your life right now you do not feel is going well I have this say called a hit rock bottom as fast as possible one of the girls in my community said that and I think that's so genius cuz I'm like once you're down on your knees [ __ ] stay there stay there but then there also only upwards that you can go exactly that's why I'm like hit rock bottom fast cuz it's only up from there like just go like stop trying to hold on to something that's not in flow I think people

are so scared of pain when they're experiencing more pain from trying not to be in pain than actually just hit you know what I mean yeah just fool so we can get back up just fall exactly just go yeah I think even if you just pick one area of your life like pick one one thing in your life like you said to be consistent with to commit to to Value to really put your all into show yourself you can do that body it could be Health whatever it is I've noticed that even with working I

was like okay when I decided every single morning every single day I need movement in my life and I've committed to that movement I've realized now I can't live without it but it's also helped me realize like other people say to me wow you're so like committed to having that in your life and I think yes if I can be committed to having that in my life I know I can channel that same energy into this and in this and in this it's just whether I have made the choice and the and made it a

priority in my life to do so because the the vibration is the same Vibra like it's just you know when we realize that nothing's solid everything's just vibrating at different rates everything has a rhythm then you realize that if you just get yourself into a certain vibration it's going to link into everything else in your life that also took weight off of my life there was a a huge belief that I have for a very long time which is like you have to struggle and work hard to be successful yes that belief not fun don't

believe it anymore but there's a difference between hard work and working hard and for me that was huge when I realized like I actually really enjoy giving 100% of myself but I don't like hard work you know distinguishing that to and then knowing where you would like to work hard in your life like really dedicate yourself once again maybe the part of your life that you were trying so hard to put the pieces together just needed you to change your perspective completely because it's not about trying to sh shift your thoughts it's about shifting completely

away from it like that's what manifestation talks about so much it's like you're not don't deny what is like transmute it into something higher like alchemize it you know I mean I love when you talk about manifestation as well it also helps you detach from things from the results of things because when you receive it you understand that it's given to you from a place right like to be able to receive and again I feel like i' I've had goods and bads of feeling like a person watching into my life being that person who's like

this doesn't feel like my life because it also makes me feel so detached from what I receive and what I don't get and what I get fully like enjoying any of it yeah I feel like I appreciate it but I then am also very aware of like and I think also and I'm sure you can relate to this when you end up having being around people who have had extreme success in different parts of their life or have in what other people's eyes is everything that you could possibly ever want you then also see that

being at that place doesn't bring that joy and contentment that you that you actually are looking for unless you are channeling it in that way and unless you are detaching from the perception of it and the fruits of it you're actually choosing to live through like the essence of what you're receiving from it like what is it actually doing for my spirit for my heart how am I being able to channel that and use that in my in my offering to other people and so I think I've seen that so much where you can get

everything materially and still be so deficient internally that I am very aware of that to the point where I try to always remember that every single day where i'm like yes I love living here and I love the luxuries that I've eventually managed to get in my life but if those things go away is it going to affect my heart or my spirit no it's not in any way and so it's actually you can appreciate you can have so much deep gratitude for everything that you have but understand there's a place for each thing like

know that material things will bring you material benefits know that the spiritual things that you do will actually Fuel and nourish your heart know that love can fuel your heart but the material things will only bring material benefits exactly and there there's it's you have to learn that those things that can be temporary in life those are fantastic too we they are the material manifestation fantastic but they're temporary and so you're looking for permanent happiness with things that are temporary and that's where we end up kind of losing our losing our way of putting energy

into the wrong things or or putting yeah our energy and focus into the wrong things and expecting the wrong thing in return exactly it's like bad expectations in relationships yeah exactly exactly there's this quote that my godsister told me um Ally I'm not sure where it's from but way she's she's wonderful pity the the Rich and Famous is they have nothing to um but their head against and I think to an extent it's like that is true like when you quote unquote have everything there's nothing to go up against and so then you start creating

these things to go up against that it's what we call drama and these things that don't really and so I'm just grateful and I think that's why you know when you build that work ethic with yourself you get to learn how to overcome and like rise and that Rising is the best high in life I've ever experienced like that and thinking new thoughts love that but that that rise is to me the epitome of success I just want to feeling that and then so letting go of the idea of awards or these you know different

levels in soci like all of that is wonderful because I think they're good gauges on on things and it's and it's fun to have but that that is a benefit of the rising and I do find though that the more that you end up getting and this is a notion that I've heard through all my friends who as they are gaining more abundance in their life you have more of a fear of losing it and that's what I've been dealing with recently yeah you have this like and and I know even my sister or or

my my friends who feel like oh my gosh my life I've got everything that I want in my life I have my husband I have my children I have this life that feels almost too perfect something's going to go wrong like I feel the and I've had conversations with people where they're literally crying like this feels too good this feels too good to be true and I am so scared for my like that something is going to go wrong I'm so scared of what I'm going to lose and it's true you do the more that

you get in your life and especially when it comes to relationships when you feel like you've you've got you know the children that you've always dreamt of let's say or the partner that you've always dreamt of the situation that if you've come from nothing and you end up manifesting all the things that you want in life how do you detach from that fear of what if it all goes away what if it all leaves me I think like that's where really becoming at peace with death because you can't really live unless you face death and

there's this beautiful quote and it's like the idea is to stay in a constant departure while always arriving and it's pretty it's pretty profound but it's basically saying like as soon as we get we lose like that's the that's the the Rhythm of Life and it's scary very scary and it's what I'm seeing in my own life too where I'm like I've now accumulated such a beautiful relationship beautiful career and beautiful team and I'm like this is so good to be so amazing so now once again my goal is getting out of my own way

and showing up every single day cuz it always just goes back to that I think that's what's so beautiful of having an artist heart of like living in the moments where you're already nostalgic for them like being presently nostalgic I think is one of the most beautiful feelings I've ever had in my life and as much as it's scary just like hate and love are but of the same coin just a different degree same with fear and love like it's it's showing that you care you know it's just the other side of love because really

like the idea of what I think Society thinks of is hate is actually just complete absence like mind of you're just not you don't even exist that to me is the most accurate form of like what we think hate is like for me hate is still a very fiery version of love and so and same with fear it's like it's showing that you care and so once again that's where I always go back to like documentation writing like I love hearing my own thoughts like I love writing like I love recording things I think we

are tainted in this world today because everything's being documented but are the right things being documented I know and journaling can actually do and I wanted to speak about something else that you said but when it comes to journaling I feel it takes a while to actually show up and strip back who like that person that you are writing as as just in you know if you're writing is someone who thinks just in case someone sees this what am I writing just in case this is readed one day perance remember that perance and so if

you are writing from a place of performance you will never see your true self but like stripping that back it can be so scary to see what has been hiding in your heart and inside your mind and to really come to face with that I think that's the only time when you get to that point that's when you're actually starting like that is the point that you're starting and what you were saying about fear and and losing and about showing up I think whenever I I think about that way cuz well you're one of the

few people that I have been able to talk about death within that way me and you have had this conversation before every single day since I have left home before that I would have never I never used to even think about death I maybe thought about it when my granddad passed away that was when I was young away feels so feels like something that I can't even relate to and then when I started studying the Vaders and then when I moved away from home it was that that point which by the way was over 7

years ago every single day since that time I moved I've thought about death the moment that I wake up because I'm so far away from people because of my my the only reason I actually look at my phone is I'm like let me just make sure everything's okay because I'm not still exactly let me check I haven't got any messages like there is all that I have had and there has not been one day and I tell people that and they're like that's a bit morbid and I'm like no it has been at the most

freeing thing because we don't prepare for the things that are the most inevitable in life there are four things death disease birth and something else which I'll find out creation or creativity or maybe something something along the lines of that but definitely death death is the one thing definitely death death is one of the things which is so certain right but we shy away from it it's the only certain thing it's the only certain thing yes it's the only certain thing that's going to happen but we're like h no it's true it's it is the

only certain thing in life but it is something that we try and move away from and it has been the biggest blessing to have that in my mind because now when things are happening with my family when things are happening in my life that are unexpected or that I don't know whether I'm going to be there for I detached from it so much thinking you know what there is nothing I can do I'm this side of the world there is nothing I can do there's no physical way that I will know to be able to

be there when anything happens and the weird thing is when I let go of that attachment and that fear I have been there for every single thing I needed to be there for somehow when I wasn't even supposed to be there I ended up there whenever anybody in my family went through something whenever somehow I've ended up there and that was when I had fully realized that I just have no control over this and when I and the thought of death remember when I realized that yeah right like I literally cannot control this in any

way and I surrendered to that and by the way that took me pretty much crying every single week thinking about it it took me going through a lot of emotions every single week of thinking about the possibilities of what could happen cuz my mind can run away like that a lot and actually going through that I remember me and Jay have SP spoken about this a lot where every time I think about certain things in my life I am very emotional I cry hence a good cry um I cry a lot and every time I

think about the possibilities or how I'm going to feel in those situations I try and stop myself from thinking about it and Jay would be like the only way we're going to we're going to be able to be okay at the point that these things happen is if we kind of live it through every single day slowly in our mind like to keep again consistency in practice if we start training our mind to understand that this is the natural part of life this is what happens it's just as beautiful it's not the end if you

believe that it's not the end and so constantly thinking about the people in your life leaving the people in your life may not be there forever you know do you remember the land before time no I don't it's the dinosaur movie I don't know if you guys there was this one scene and it's where like little foot like loses his mom and the uncle or whatever is like that's the thing with life we don't all end up but in the end together and I was like once again how heartbreaking that is but also how beautiful

that is no it is so beautiful it's so beautiful and the fear that you were talking about of you know when you said you just end up showing up and when we talking about losing things the only way I've been able to manage that fear is by giving my all to everybody that I love so deeply like to know that I have given my all to my mom to my dad to my grandma whoever it is that I'm feeling those like the uncertainties about I'm like well let me go 100% into those relationships let me

make every single year the best better and better with our relationship and so I think that's actually how I've lost the fear by knowing that I will have no guilt after they leave by knowing that I have had that best interaction with them the best possible years that I could have with them to like yeah to to have that to be able to nourish that and know that stops my fear and of course it still brings sadness but the the fear aspect is something which I think is debilitating whereas sadness is something which I don't

find sadness debilitating in myself I feel like it's something that is an emotion I can release but fear is something that can actually stop you from being or doing and I think fear of even death can stop you from getting close to someone fear of losing someone can stop you from harnessing a relationship with someone cuz you like just don't want to face it you don't want to face the death not them but the death the death and I used to not call my at the beginning when I used to miss my family and this

is such a minor example but just to give you context like when I used to miss my parents or I used to miss someone and I was upset about something I wouldn't I wouldn't call them because I didn't want I I almost wanted to distance myself from it to like you could prepare so I could prepare but also so I could like pretend like it wasn't a thing and I didn't want them to know I was upset I didn't want to address the fact that it was something I was dealing with and so distancing myself

from them I thought made the pain easier but it obviously doesn't it's it's but I think the addressing the showing up is really what helped me get over that fear yeah and then you know once you really start to think about death you start to see it everywhere you know like every day there's a rebirth and a death like that's the beautiful thing about life we see it in nature we see it in our animals we see it in relationships even we see it from a spiritual sense too so I think when you're not afraid

of it you can see that it has such a profound purpose and that we need it in order to create what we've created here to really have that like I feel like YOLO is the term that's used way too much but to honestly never thought I would hear you no but I I find it I find it such a like it's a term which we use very Loosely but it's something which actually if you think about it that means you show up you show up 100% every single day my friend he was at a party

never thought I he you say Yol yeah I know but like the essence of it you know it's something with I know so my friend he he was at a party and he was um talking to this guy and he was he was telling me about this story and he was basically saying you know I felt guilty you know in those moments where you're just kind of like saying nothing to fill the air and you're just like I don't even want to listen to me right now like why am I speaking and you know they

finally end the conversation and then a week later that that guy dies in a motorcycle crash oh my God and he was like if I would have known that like I was taking up some of his last moments on Earth I would have [ __ ] SLA myself silly and like made sure have either an authentic connection with him or like let him go and do that with someone else but it really does like once again death is the biggest perspective shift of ever I've ever experienced in my life like I wouldn't be who I

am today if I didn't experience death in a sad way it's not that's why I think I think I just want to like add this it's suddenly gone to like we're talking about we're talking about death but but sadness isn't sad it's beautiful like I I am so in love with with sadness in the sense where it's like it shows how much We Care yeah and it's so beautiful you know I've had to Lear to embrace that so much and again this is part of why I wanted to do this is because I feel things

so deeply and I am very emotional with how I feel them but I feel I feel from a young age I suppressed it a lot and so when I started understanding myself better and when I started feeling more comfortable in my own skin it slowly started showing up in places I wasn't expecting me to so I would end up crying when I when I really didn't want to or stub your toe like I don't know if this is from stubbing my toe yeah what is that yeah and the more I felt I was connected to

myself the more I was in tune with my emotions and the more I was able to feel and control them too andol yes yes yeah it's never fun like having that anxiety attack like right before you're supposed to show up cuz you know you're like oh no there I go and you're like trying to reel yourself and like you're fishing that's never fun as well that's why like when it comes up if you can feel it feel it you know that's why I Love's your waye breath work 100% like is if you to say doing

the most so it's what I need the most breath work it is I mean there's a lot of variations of it and I fear when people after they hear this they're going to Google and some girl's GNA go like and do like some weird breath it's have you done the primma breath work or the I I got trained by this guy it's very simple it's just breathing 70% into the lowest part of your belly 30% to your chest and release and you can go as fast and Intense or as slow as you want and what's

really cool is it's similar to meditation like you get to a point where you know sometimes you already feel amazing and you're going into breath work and you're just you barely do it because you're just like I feel grounded right now and that was the whole purpose of it so I'm going to listen to this music and Just Vibe or you're going into it just being like I got to do it whatever it's an active meditation that's why I liked it because it gives me something to do with my body which I love and prefer

and I'll have this crazy cathartic experience and I'll start crying and yeah so much comes out and I'm just like well that was a Tuesday I did not expect but like I guess that was supposed to happen and I think that's that's what's so also beautiful weirdly enough with trauma where it's like it comes out in these moments and it feels so good when you accept that it's coming cuz you're like I'm alive like this feels so good I care this feels so good I loved this feels so good yes and I think you're right

when we end up trying to we end up trying to feel so numb that we try not to feel at all like we end there's so much in life because of everything get that so do I because there's so much to feel you hear negative things all the time you're hearing so much pain in the world and so it's easier to be numb but it's but you can't grow being numb you have to feel to be able to move and again like I love the thing of emotions being energy in motion it's like you're meant

to be releasing you're meant to be moving through and breath is if you think about breath is life and breath is also the way that you control your emotions if you think about when you get sad or angry or anything your breath changes with it and in the same way when you're able to control your breath or you use your breath in the right way it can help you to either suppress or release emotion I learned that actually in acting because I had a scene TMI but it was not a scene that I survived in

literally and so I had to go through that process of dying and you know I'm doing the the short breaths and I started to go into a panic attack and I was like it is so crazy how the body is in so much more control than we realized in that sense where like the breath can really completely change your emotional state it is a profound so even just taking three deep breaths every time I think about how I'm feeling or if I'm getting overwhelmed I'm like take three deep breaths and it changes my entire day

by doing those three breaths it's so simple that you're just like every day you're just like dum dum like remind is that you need every single day right okay so you are a breath work person do you cry a lot or is that not you do crying well okay the thing was is like I didn't and then I was proud of that cuz I was like I don't feel cry I don't know and then I started to get jealous of like my friends who were so in tune with everything I could just cry at like

watching their friend perform or just we're just watching a children's movie wait does this mean I don't care as much because I'm pouring my eyes out yeah so then I it surprisingly like the the tools like breath work or like yoga or meditation or writing that's what started to open my vessel up and so now I make it weirdly enough a priority like anytime I feel like I'm about to cry I'm like bring it you know bring it like I'm ready I'm here I'm going to Let's I'll place that music for you I'm I'm going

to invoke this in you yeah I want it because you know selfishly as an actress like I want to be able to access that but also it's like you see that with children you know then they feel like crying they're like they just pull out they just go and and I envy that and I'm like I want to be able to do that so when I need to show up I can and I don't I don't have this fear of the worst parts of myself showing at the wrong time because we are ruled by what's

buried and remaining in Us in the deepest core and so bringing those up in a space that's on your own time and safe is the key to really being in power of yourself and like controlling your mind instead of it controlling you yeah meditation was definitely that space for me that's probably where I first started feeling most comfortable crying because you're on your own you're getting into a deeper Space by yourself and also I mean listening to janvi I I there's a part of her and giving context to everyone janvi is one of my closest

friends but she's also meditation singer she is a gift to life her voice will just and again because I personally feel feel the reason her voice hits so deeply is because she is in alignment she works to be in alignment all the time and so her voice you hear one Note coming out and it hits your heart to the deepest part where you are just pouring out all the things that you have kept suppressed for so long that one lyric like um I don't want to go around anymore I was like I feel this so

much no more I don't want to go around no more like I'm good exactly and when you end up sitting by yourself like I feel like that's another for anyone who finds it ult to release emotion spend 15 minutes just sitting by yourself and listening to what's happening in your body just spend 15 minutes spend 10 minutes a day doing that 15 minutes is good enough to be honest especially with the people in like LA and the B cities and whatever but it's like that's really all you need like start there if you're finding yourself

difficult finding it difficult to release that emotion spend 10 minutes with yourself every day with no one else around and see what comes up yeah what I found too is a really a way I trick myself is I stopped timing Myself and I just as soon as I wake up I go out to the balcony and I just sit in almost that like dream sleepy State and so I don't even know it's perfect because there's no timer so I'm not trying to like complete an x amount of time so it could be a 9 minutes

I'm there I could be there for 30 minutes I have no idea and that is like a really good trick for me because as soon as I get my coffee and I start moving it's it's game over I'm going to have to do like a breath work to be a get back bra changes into a different mode a different mode but right when you wake up it's just like get yourself just sit down do nothing like that's it that's that's it cuz trying to go from doing stuff doing something to doing nothing is really hard

but when you're in that waking moments of life it's the perfect it's perfect to trick yourself just oh my God I could talk to you about so much stuff but I feel like I've taken up so much of your time already but wait I wanted to ask you so basically I've categorized criers into like I think like six categories so I want you to tell me I want you to tell me what kind of crier you are and ideally give us your best version of your cry okay so there's one which is the loud ugly

crier which is then there's the breathless which is the I just don't know that's my sister okay then there's the sniffler and snotty the one who's kind of like just blubbery and like all over the place there's like water coming from the eyes from the nose every part hole every hole is just weeping then there's the high pitch you know when you suddenly like go five pitch I just don't know where I so there's the high pitch there's that I'm not crying you're crying I have something in my eye crier and then the last one

is the silent crier in a bathroom nobody knows you come out the eyes are puffed but still nothing has happened that's I'm the last one are you the last one well not in like a weird I just I'm not loud I like I have like the one dramatic tiar go and then everything starts coming out but see I'm I'm ridiculous cuz I'm like oh that's good you know I'm conscious I'm like that's that's good for being an actor that one dramatic like I'm so so self-aware that I'm like you're such a little [ __ ]

but um I'm yeah like it starts out as silent like I I just I love the feeling of the tears coming down my face he feels like it's washing things away so I just I love to just sit there and then like I love to just sit there she's like the and I'm just like you're okay I thought you would be a pretty crier that's so annoying about you honestly Oh no you're like that just patting them away little cheeks no I mean I I definitely cry but it's it's not like snotty or anything it

sounds ridic I'm ridiculous just so everybody knows Alexis is the the silent beautiful crier that you would always expect her to be I guess I I talk through it yeah yeah no but that makes a difference I'm like but the physical you still look cute doing it basically I think I'm a pretty good in that sense like I don't know I don't know pretty cute cry see this is this is the downside of like being aware of like everything as a tool like every emotion as a tool you must even have to look in the

mirror when you're crying to be like okay this is is that right exactly like when I laugh like is that an authentic laugh what's that like how did how did I get here assess yourself actually yeah well when I first went to an acting class I was like I've been learning about this [ __ ] for years guys like did you just make us meditate like what are we doing right now self-awareness like I got this in the bag like it was just more so the meming the lines that I was just not excited for

wait when was the last time that you cried when was it oh is that embarrassing if I said on the way here I found this like song I had just one tiar though I was like I can't there's this song I have no idea what it's who it's from it's from like some Indian tribe I don't know but you know the movie Brave the redhead where she's like riding on her horse it's kind of like that where it's like and I was driving through the canyon like oh I want a tambourine like a SK right

now it's a good time to have cried I'm so happy that you cried on the way here wonderful it's I just I love like feeling those like Beautiful Moments to the extreme you know and I and that's I think what the what I love so much about sadness is the most beautiful moments of my life have sadness in them so it's like wow you know well nothing in this world is fully anything right like there's always a what you're saying a ju the position of there's extreme goodness and extreme whatever I don't even like to

say Badness or bad but there's that it's like hot and cold like how can you define where cold ends you can't you can't Define it it's just uh a different degree of the same thing and not and I think the important thing about that is not labeling it as being something that is bad or good like having what you said like crying is beautiful sadness is beautiful all those things that we have been trained and conditioned to believe are not good things are actually the things that we really need to to come into our own

yeah and of course like once you start when you first start on that Journey it feels out of control and I think that's what a lot of people feel they're like I don't understand because when I first started to actually acknowledge everything and feel my emotions I was just I was terrified that this was what I was going to be for the rest of my life but you then have this wonderful relationship with your emotions I didn't even know it was possible yeah I'm just like this is wonderful I want to because it's once again

I want to feel proof that I care and I want to care and I think that's the connection there is like you know like I feel because I want to care because I want to see growth and evolution in our society and so to to not feel would be the biggest crime in my opinion but it's also hard and and I think there is a place for all of it what compartmentalization disassociation I think there's places for all of those things because those are tactics has to be balanced yeah and like that was also a

way of your body protecting yourself there was a time and a I agree you need protection from that I think about that too like I figured out mechanisms of when I don't feel safe to actually cry or when I don't feel like it's the right environment or when you just have to be a boss and you need to cry and get on with life like you there is a time and place to do that but then knowing that there's something in you that you need to process for later like putting a bookmark there to think

okay this is what triggered me let's get into it later but right now we need to get this done exactly and then that's like you having a beautiful relationship with your child self and your adult self being like okay baby like I got you we'll handle this later CU clearly that triggered the hell out of you but we have to go and show up for X Y and Z today and then when we come home we can process it and usually even the second that you have that conversation it'll show up when it needs to

because then like your inner child isn't screaming at you that you're ignoring her she trusts that you're going to show up so it's like all the different version exactly you don't suddenly have Outburst because no cuz it's like oh I hear you I think once again like parent advice is life advice it's also personal like self self-awareness it's growth like how we raise kids I think is a reflection of also just like how we self teach ourselves and how we self-regulate ourselves and so I've always been fascinated with like parenting and techniques and that because

it's you have to do that for yourself and for your friends like sometimes I'm the mom sometimes my dad's the mom like we trade off sometimes I'm the dad like we don't know and so being able to put on different shoes I think really is adaptability is the greatest skill on this planet adaptability and being able to like once again what we were talking about in the beginning like being able to healthfully not from like um a position of like need be able to insert ourselves in a way that lifts The Experience up not like

molding to the people pleaser mentality but it's like what part of myself can can complete this moment we have infinite parts of our literally infinite which is fantastic to know because then you know with you know things like podcast and stuff I don't fear that you know I also there is something I've learned too is like if you don't keep giving out the information God's going to stop giving it to you so you have to like keep the momentum going every time I learn something I'm like I don't even know if I'm worthy to say

this but I'm going throw it out there anyways just because it's like come to me I'm not afraid that that's the only thing I get I I'm I'm able to teach and then that's where you like empty your your cup and you get filled again yeah and I think sometimes we get scared of I know for me I'm like but wait what if I don't have any more to give there's that feeling you know that feeling of what if I don't have any more to share so these are my things and this is what I've

learned and then you and then in but then it is it is all ego you end up collecting all these things that you believe are yours but none of it was yours in the first place and then it becomes stagnant and then the the motion I think with the same with our bodies momentum creates momentum it's the same with our wisdom and information and like everything moves and and fluxes and Chang and so letting that be the way you receive and give information and knowledge and wisdom is ultimately once again how you paradoxically learn how

to be the teacher and the student the student all at the same time all at the same time I think if you if you are a teacher you are never giving up being a student and actually when you give up being a student you stop being a teacher teacher yeah Paradox exactly oh well I have learned so much from you and I'm so grateful that you came on thank you so much I'm so happy you made it happen and you're just amazing and I'm so excited that you all got to hear from Alexis it makes

me really happy to share her with you all and thank you so much all for listening if you made it this far I mean I'm not surprised because she's amazing but thanks for putting up with me I feel like there wasn't a breath in between there was just I felt like we were Gilmore Girls just going back and forth really fast and that's so nice that's why I want to have I always like I'm I'm planning to only have friends on conversations not interviews yes to just have genuine meaningful conversations talk about things that we

find difficult bring out whatever it is that we need to cry laugh do everything and um yeah thank you all for listening see you next week [Music]