I Backslid from God, but Then this Happened 🥺... (Testimony)

I happen to go to a church service and on a Sunday I was sitting in the back and I'll never forget it there's this pastor his name is Joey and uh he was preaching out of Psalms chapter one and if you read Psalm chapter one it uh it says this and it goes oh the joy of those who are righteous oh the joy of those who are what the Lord's pretty much and he was preaching on it and it says but the Wicked the wicked to hang out with other Wicked people they sit with them

they stand they talk and then he was talking about how aren't you missing your father and I just remember as Pastor Julia as he was praying I was sitting in the back and the best way that I could describe it is I just started missing God I really just started to miss him and then the pastor comes and he makes a beeline to me and he grabs me and he goes RJ how are you doing and I was like oh it's going good fire I'm totally lying he said how you doing and I was like

I'm I'm good you know I'm good and then he asked me a third time and he said RJ how are you doing and then I just broke down when I was about one years old my mom and dad they were actually about to get a divorce my dad he was raised in church but during the season in his life he would even tell you that he was lukewarm and him and my mom my mom was not raised in church so they ended up getting married they had me and already at uh when I was about

one years old they wanted to get a divorce and they were going to call it quits and right around this time my dad's youth pastor and his wife heard about how they were going to get a divorce and so this youth pastor drives over to my parents house their one bedroom apartment knocks on the door and my dad answers the door and he he comes in and he said hey I heard you guys are going to get a divorce my dad's like yeah and the pastor goes well where's the divorce papers and he had matches

and he said you know what you're not going to call it quits we're going to light these divorce papers on on fire because I believe Roy uh my dad he said I believe Roy God still has a plan for you and for Kelly and also not only you but your son right here and God's not done with you I'm so thankful because my parents they they listen to that Pastor I'm thankful for that Pastor and his wife and now to this day my mom and dad have been serving Jesus for 32 years through children's pastors

reaching hundreds of kids every single week my dad runs paintball camps and he's a amazing man of God and now I'm the oldest of five my brother Tyler Ashland Madison John they wouldn't have even been born and so I'm so thankful but yeah that's that's the household that I was I was raised in all I knew was Jesus we went to church every single week uh Sundays Wednesdays I went to church camps um I watched VeggieTales if you're if you're a church kid you know about VeggieTales Bible man super book I I like super book

before Superbook was even cool right and uh and Pharaoh Pharaoh so so that was me and all I knew was Jesus a lot of people talk about how maybe when they uh they were raised in church that they just kind of went because their parents made them but but it was actually the opposite for me like I remember being four years old in my earliest memory of Jesus actually asking my mom we were at my grand my grandpa's house and asked my mom mom I want to give my life to Jesus and it wasn't something

that she was saying or anything I just I just had it in my heart and my mom was like here Grandpa's oh okay and so she took me into the bathroom that was the only private place and I remember kneeling down and my mom praying and me asking Jesus to come to my life as a kid as a kid I was also on a worship team and and I was uh given a role of like leadership even in even in kids church and I'd be able to pray for people and sometimes I'd be able to

speak and I was on this worship team to where we would travel up and down California speaking at camps and worshiping at camps and I remember when I was about 12 years old being at one of these camps and this I'll never forget this um I was at a camp it was in Santa Cruz California the mountains of Santa Cruz California and the pastor was preaching and it was it was a night it was just powerful I don't know if you've ever sensed like the weighty presence of God in the service but it was so

powerful to where at the altar call kids were crying kids were manifesting I believe kids were demons were were getting cast out it was just it was wild at a kids camp and it was one of those moments when God's presence was so thick to where it was almost kind of scary and I remember that the pastor got on the mic his name was Jason and over the mic he calls and he said RJ where where's RJ someone someone get me RJ I need him and um he didn't know this but at the time I

was actually all the way hiding in the back of the of the auditorium is at a summer camp it was at night and I made sure I looked around no one saw me and I was underneath the pew and at that same moment I was calling out to God and I felt like he was calling me into full-time Ministry when I was about 12. and I was having this moment and I was like God I want to be a pastor I want to tell people about you I really felt like he was calling me well

right as I got that out of my mouth right or even as I was just uttering it that's when Pastor Jason was saying Hey where's RJ I need him and so me being on the worship team and going to camps you know going up and down and kind of serving even as a kid I thought that he wanted like water or something I thought he was up there praying for kids at the altar and so I got up and I ran up to the front and I was like yeah what do you need and he

grabbed me by my head and he said God told me to pray for you right now and that he's calling you and um and so that is when I was 12 years old I always knew and I was walking with the Lord and I had this sweet communion with Jesus it wasn't fake right and um I think that's why it made it uh so much harder when I backslid or when I uh when I walk away from them so 12 years old I'm solid I'm like this why I'm here I know this is my calling

and God set me apart he marked me on that day um then junior high was good high school observing the Lord still ministering me and my buddies we go to movies sometimes and uh I would even after the movies we'd try to witness the people and I do like this whole way of the master thing I don't know if you know what that is but and uh and God was blessing it I would see people cry and I'd tell them about Jesus and God was using me but then I went to it was actually it's

ironic a Christian High School the devil's after Christians right and then my freshman year I was solid with Jesus but right about my sophomore year and my junior year things started to change I was playing football and I was hanging out with this crowd that um that I usually wouldn't hang out with and I actually it doesn't look like it now but I started to get good at football I started getting noticed I was fast um and I believe that and brought some pride into my life um I also started doing Rodeo I started hanging

out with some bull riding friends I started to bull ride and then before I knew it I started to chew tobacco I got this like bravado I'm like oh I'm a running back I'm fast I'm gonna go to college and play football and then also during this time I got into a relationship with a girl and this is where things you like you've ever heard of like you give the devil an inch he'll take a mile I remember getting into this relationship with a girl who is not a Believer didn't have the same morals as

me didn't know Jesus the way I knew Jesus and uh fell into sexual sin what that did was it didn't just open up a door for me to be addicted to sexual sin and pornography but it also I started rebelling against my parents my parents who loved me I started rebelling I remember a pastor one time I had some great pastors great youth pastors and children I remember a pastor actually looking at me going what are you doing you know and I just I started to become numb and rebelling leaving the house I started drinking

I mean it was just crazy it just switched and I remember at this time in my life that I like after watching pornography or actually mess after messing around with the girl I felt so much conviction and shame and I remember crying I remember maybe if if you're there you know it's like man God how could I do this you've been so good to me and I felt shame and guilt but then I do it again and I do it again and I do it again and it got to the point to where my senior

year I messed up my shoulder playing football my grades were horrible I barely graduated called it or excuse me high school I barely graduated I lost any thought about playing football scholarships I got my heart broken from all these girls and I was listening to horrible music all I was I was a worship leader as a kid and now I'm listening to this filthy music now looking back I'm like I can't even believe some of the things I was listening to but then I got to this point to where after I graduated high school this

I knew that it was wrong but I started to turn my back it was almost like a Jonah moment for me I knew that I was called to be a minister I was Mark this and that but I decided I wanted to become a firefighter now listen if you're on fire service I tell people this fire the fire service is amazing if you're called to do it but for me I know for a fact that I was running from God so after graduating high school I focused just on the fire service I graduated from fire

academy I became an EMT and this I would say was was probably the worst time in my life on the outside it looked good people thought you know oh he's going to be a firefighter he's going to do something with his life but deep down inside I was I was drinking I moved in with another firefighter we were partying partying on the weekends inviting all these people over messing around with girls doing things I even started experimenting with steroids and just doing all this crazy stuff and it was in this moment the worst of my

life and this is how you know it was bad too so that when I was always had got convicted or I was feeling numb at this time in my life when I was sinning and doing all these things turning my back on God I I was numb I I didn't have any conviction and that was probably the scariest part for me because I went from being so close to the Holy Spirit to where I feel like I grieved him so much to where now I couldn't even hear him and it was scary but I say

all that it's the exciting part this is exactly where the Lord met me and it's exactly where he chose to really bring me back and so I happened to go to a church service on a weekend uh when I was firefighting and I went and on a Sunday I was sitting in the back and I'll never forget it there's this pastor his name is Joey and uh he was preaching out of Psalms chapter one and if you read Psalm chapter one it uh it says this and it goes oh the joy of those who are

righteous oh the joy of those who are what the Lord's pretty much and he was preaching on it and it says but the Wicked the wicked to hang out with other Wicked people they sit with them they stand they talk and then he was talking about how aren't you uh missing your father and he was talking about and I just remember as Pastor Julia as he was praying I was sitting in the back and the best way that I could describe it is I just started missing God I really just started to miss him and

I started having like these flashbacks of like man I was called God I loved you I had this sweet presence with you and now I've just blown it I've become Wicked I've become lukewarm I don't even feel your presence anymore and I remember having these thoughts in my head and then I just felt like God was just drawing me and just trying to pull me in so the pastor gave the altar call and I remember I I got up and I was kind of sitting in the back there was a bunch of people at the

altar and I was kind of just standing in the back and then the pastor comes and he makes a beeline to me and he grabs me and he goes RJ how are you doing and I was like ah it's going good fire I'm totally lying I'm all firefighting is going good everything you know and he goes he's all how you doing and I was like I'm I'm good you know I'm good fire and then he asked me a third time and he said RJ how are you doing and then I just broke down and I

was crying and it was in that moment to where it's like if you've ever heard of The Prodigal Son story and Luke Jesus said that when the son came to his senses there was a son who was raised in in the family but he squandered his inheritance he went out and he spent it on on wild living and on women and then finally one day he looks down and he's eating with the pigs that he came to his senses and that was honestly that moment that day in that church for me where I finally was

just like what am I doing God and I came to my senses and the thing that rocks me the most about this moment and I told people this all the time is that when when I walked up to that altar I was like expecting God to like spank me I was expecting my father to have like a lightning bolt right and be like RJ you idiot like you knew better it's one thing for uh unbelievers to be out there then come to the lord it's a whole nother thing I I felt like personally when when

I was in it to where I Spit On Jesus I ran from him I knew better I was raised in church I went to a Christian High School like God how can you forgive me you know and then I remember the um in that moment when the pastor is praying for me all I felt was no punishment no anger all I felt was just an overwhelming love of God and he really was he was like my son you were lost but who cares about that you're found now you're here and what's so crazy about God

is I mean just that week I was probably screwing around with a girl who knows what I was doing just that that week I was probably drinking partying and instantly God forgave me and he didn't just forgive me he reinstated me reinstated me he gave me my calling back and my purpose back and I doubted it I remember I don't know what it is with me encountering God in bathrooms but I remember I was in a bathroom and it was like right after this happened at the church and God forgave me and I felt this

love and I was like God are you calling me back into Ministry because I felt like he was I was excited and I was like I want to be a pastor in this but I felt so much shame and guilt and I remember being like God are you sure and there's a verse in the Bible it says a gift and callings of God or without repentance right so right when I came back he forgaby healed me delivered me gave me a calling and I remember I happened to be have a Bible in the bathroom and

it was open I didn't even like realize where it was and uh honest honest to God truth I said God are you really restoring me do you really want me to go into the ministry am I do I set up a calling and I happen to look down I don't advise you just opening up your Bible and looking at verse but this time it actually happened I I looked down and it was in Jeremiah and this is what it said it said this is what the Lord says and I was like oh that gets my

attention it says if you truly returned to me if you return to me I will restore you and if you speak good words rather than worthless words I'll make you my spokesman and I was like man and it just rocked me I'm like God you've called me and so now I'm still not I'm still in the fire service I had it in with this Chief and now I'm trying to go back to my shifts right and this is what God did to me and so I'm trying to go back and like how am I going

to get out of fire service and all of a sudden the desire of being a firefighter was just gone I worked so hard to do it and become an EMT all this and and I climbed all these ladders I had it in with the chief and all of a sudden just gone I didn't want to do it anymore and I remember going to shifts and I heard on the radio I think it was on Caleb or something that's like do the 30-day challenge just listen to worship music so that's all I'm doing I'm crying in

the car going to my shifts and I remember sitting at my shifts and I was having a hard time focused probably not good when you're a firefight no I was focusing I was doing the good now I was doing my work but I remember when I was alone just reading a Bible and just crying and just having these encounters with God just even at my station and a long story short I was able to end up leaving the fire service that was a miracle in itself how God set it up but I ended up leaving

and the pastor that was preaching that Sunday he's like hey RJ would you ever want to work at a gym the church owned a gym and I was like yeah so I ended up God opened up a door and so now I got to work at this gym listen to worship music every single every single day open it up it was it was great how God did it but then I started to minister to everyone who was coming into the doors of the gym and I started a Bible study right away and I realized wow

God you're using me I was just here in the world and now you forgave me and right away you're using me I remember praying for people getting words and knowledge for people here's another thing that's really interesting about the Lord is like I became so hungry for the Bible I was never when I was a kid I love reading it but I became so hungry to where I was just devouring it and things started to make sense I remember waking up in the middle of night I call this a Supernatural season a big Supernatural season

in my life I remember waking up in the middle night and I'd be preaching I'd be preaching or I'd get sermons I never like spoke in front of a church at this time and I remember writing down all these sermons and I would I would start a Bible study at the gym people are getting saved grown men were coming crying telling me their marital problems I'm like let's I don't know but let's pray people started to manifest demons and um and during this time I remember going to some pastors and being like this is happening

and they're like oh that's cool it's really excited but I was also during this time getting attacked by demons and so God became very real the supernatural God reinstated me all this but also the Demonic was getting really ticked off and I was like whoa something's very mad I remember I remember um so I was addicted to pornography and all this and I remember there was a season where I decided that I wasn't gonna sleep with with my girlfriend or ex-girlfriend I wasn't going to look at things and I remember one night I had this

dream and in the dream there was this girl that I used to do things with right and she came to me in the dream and she was pulling my hand trying to get me to sleep with her and I'll never forget this she was she was pulling pulling and I I ended up yanking my arm and I said no and as soon as I said no and pulled away from her I woke up and I was like half asleep halfway and I remember seeing this nine foot dark figure in my room it was I really

saw it and it was there and at first I thought it was like my dad standing on the couch in the two o'clock in the morning I'm like what are you doing but then I went to say something and I couldn't speak and I couldn't move and right then and there I was like this is a demonic encounter and the thing and the best way I could explain it is it looked like the Grim Reaper or if you watch ever watch The Lord of the Rings that looked like a ring wraith looking thing and so

it was there and it screamed at me and then it vanished and I remember at that moment I just remember thinking like the devil is so ticked off that I came back to Jesus and that was the dumbest thing that the devil ever did was allow me to see a demon because it just made me crazier for Jesus and so now I'm going to the gym I'm preaching I I ended up inviting a bunch of friends to my house my old party animal friends I'm preaching it in my parents house I started to get these

dreams of Africa now I'm I was raised in church but I never have gone on a mission trip and I didn't really want to I didn't that was like a missionary calm like whatever but I remember having these dreams of Africa and these kids in Africa and so I started to pray I was like God are you telling me calling me uh am I supposed to go to on a mission trip to Africa and I remember so crazy so Supernatural this is all the same a couple of months just Supernatural things were happening I remember

I went to Starbucks and my mom was there and she had a friend and it was her sister happened to be in town and I was like oh what do you do well she was a missionary to Tanzania and it was like that very next week and she goes hey would you ever want to go to Tanzania and intern and so before I knew it I was living in Tanzania for about two and a half months and I just that's really when I was in Africa that's really where God solidified a lot of things in

my life I got some really great men men and women of God that were uh spiritual parents to me prophesied over me I remember being at a school in Africa at Children's School and hearing screaming going on in the principal's office and here I am in Tanzania and I'm like what in the world is that and I asked someone and they're like oh that's the principal they're casting a demon out of a kid and I was like what I'm like I'm like oh yeah it's just normal it's not normal for you in America and so

during the season when I was in Africa I almost got started to get upset with myself with family with friends and even the American church and with Pastors in America and to be honest I remember praying I had an opportunity to live in Tanzania RJ was about to never come back to America right I had an opportunity to actually be a missionary there and I remember praying I'm like God that's what I want to do but I really felt like the Lord was not going to let you do that you need to come back to

America and I'm like God I don't want to come back to America America's asleep for years I was asleep you know and I was lukewarm so so many Americans were like me and grew up in church and went to a Christian school private school and and they're lukewarm that they're not really you know even serious about the Lord and they're asleep but over here in a third world country you know they're they're awake they see demons they say all they care about is Jesus and so I remember the Lord's telling me RJ you need to

go back to America because I'm gonna wake up my church I'm gonna wake up the American church and I want you to be a missionary there and so I end up coming back to America kind of reluctantly and right away I was like all right God let's wake up your church and so again I started opening up my it was at my parents house we started opening up their house and I remember there's this guy Shane came now now he's an evangelist and my brother-in-law Jaden now he's a youth pastor I remember them coming getting

saved delivered we started having all these people fill up my parents house and people getting healed and it was amazing and we actually called it the Awakening and so I would go around from to my part party animal friends Mel wants to be like hey the Lord said and when I was in Africa that he's waking up the church that he's going to wake up the church so come we called it the Awakening and we were seeing a lot of people wake up and to this day there's so much fruit from it to this day

they're still awake or they're serving the lord amazing well there's this one day this lady Laura came from our church she said RJ have you ever heard of The Awakening in Manteca California and I said I honestly I've never heard of it never heard of it never heard of Isaiah Saldivar she goes you need to meet this kid because God is waking up people over in Manteca too and it's in happening with hundreds and hundred thousands of people and so I ended up going to the Awakening the Revival was on Castle Road and I remember

meeting maybe some of you know Isaiah salivar for the first time and I remember crying and seeing so many people getting killed delivered and I was like wow God what you told me in Africa I'm actually saying you're waking up the remnant you're waking up the church and so that was oh my goodness that was years ago I ended up at this time I was already ordained I was a pastor Minister when I came back from Africa and I joined the Awakening team as a leader I met my wife Cassandra there my wife she has

a radical testimony she got saved there delivered there her family got saved my family was set on fire and then for the next I would say eight nine years we saw thousands hundreds and thousands of people get saved set free delivered we my wife and I we got married in 2013 we just had our nine year anniversary we just had our fourth baby God has been so faithful to us and um it's been Awakening ever since the best thing that ever happened to me was me coming back to Jesus you know and um he really

did it reinstated me and to this day that's what we're still doing we're still seeing it we're still pastoring ministering seeing so many people come to the Lord and have their own Encounter With Jesus so I'm so thankful that God took me back not really for for people who are watching right now and have been called to pastor and maybe they're watching right now and and they're in that place that that you found yourself in where you were running away what can you say to those people who are watching right now who are running away

who know somebody who's running away what can you say to them watching I could say one thing is um Don't Run Away you can't we know that from the Bible even with Jonah he tried um the biggest thing that you could do is just close put close your ears to it and uh and do your own thing but God loves you um your heavenly father it is it's going to be like The Prodigal Son story when you come back to him he's not there with the lightning bolt he's not there to punish you he just

wants to love you he wants to heal you he wants to put a robe on your finger or excuse me a robe on your back a ring on your finger reinstate you and he wants to save my uh my lost daughter my lost son now you're found now you're found to come back to him run back run back while you have time yeah who is Jesus to you oh man Jesus he's not just some Jewish man uh that people think about he's not this uh the Savior the lamb he's everything he's he's life he's transformed

my life he's my love he's the reason why I'm here he's the reason why I wake up in the morning is the reason why my I have kids I had this fear I remember I was actually being delivered one time and or casting demons out of me in my past and I remember I had this horrible fear that I wasn't going to be able to have kids it was just demonic and I remember not telling anyone that and in the Deliverance it was actually Isaiah and he's like hey I have this feeling like I feel

like the Holy Spirit told me that you're afraid that you're not going to have kids but that's a lie from the devil you're gonna have kids and now we have four you know what I mean and um I'm just so thankful Jesus is really transformed my life he's taken me from the glory to glory it's only going to get better he's touched my wife and and so many of my friends and my family and I'm just so thankful he's my everything Rory any last words for people who are watching your testimony right now yeah um

I really feel like in this season of my life God uh as a pastor as as leaders in the church our number one job is to equip to encourage to correct Paul told Timothy cracked rebuke feed feed your flock and so if I can give you any advice from God the ultimate Shepherd is that he loves you he wants to protect you but I also believe time is short I'm not a doomsday preacher but uh the early church said that they were in the last day so I do believe that we are in the last

seconds but we don't have to be afraid of it but if you're running from God if you are asleep like I was man come back to him let him wake you up it's the best decision I have ever made come serve Jesus and he will use you he will use you and I also want to say this too it's not just pastors and leaders in the church that are called every single one of you have a calling over your life your God has a plan a purpose for you you're a piece of the body of

Christ and so come let Jesus love on you and let him use you foreign