Drifting Away from People: The Dark Side of Solitude

In the novel The Stranger by absurdist philosopher  Albert Camus, the main character Meursault finds himself, in a way, apart from the world around  him. He’s not following conventions, doesn’t really mingle with his environment, and has a  unique way of responding to events. For example, when his mother dies, his indifference leads  those around him to perceive him as heartless, even possibly a psychopath.

And after  shooting and killing a thug who attacks him, he displays no remorse. But later on in the  story, we learn that Meursault isn’t a person with bad intentions who purposefully does evil  deeds. He’s just different, the odd one out, as he’s detached from accepted conduct.

Although often different from Meursault, many experience estrangement from the  world. These people have drifted away from others. They became disentangled.

This  estrangement could have a particular cause, such as a bad experience with people. Or  maybe, like Meursault, one’s personality doesn’t quite jive with the rest, making one  socially incompatible to a certain extent. Whatever the reason, this (often)  self-imposed seclusion isn’t always without dangers.

As a lover of solitude, I  think it’s useful to look at the dark sides behind turning our backs on society.  This video explores why we drift away from people, the resulting loneliness and  estrangement, and the associated dangers. If you want to help keep us going, support us on Patreon.

You’ll get access  to ALL Einzelgänger videos ad-free. Drfting away from people can happen slowly  and gradually but also quite quickly. We find ourselves communicating less with people,  whether it’s our family or friends.

Maybe the connection is gone, conversations feel empty, and  interests have shifted. Or perhaps we’re always too tired or never have time to meet, as our busy  schedules hardly allow us to have a social life. But it could also be that, like Meursault, we  have trouble resonating with the conventional, you know, the white picket fence, the 2.

3  kids, the 9-5, watching sports on the weekends, or asking people “How are you! ” without  actually being interested in the answer. We lose interest in engaging with other  people for many reasons.

In a positive sense, we might deeply enjoy solitude; for example, it  allows us to find wisdom and experience personal growth we usually don’t find in the company of  others. In a negative sense, we seek solitude out of hate or fear. We just don’t like being around  people.

Maybe it’s because of how they judge us, the sense of being under the scrutinizing gaze  whenever in the presence of others. Existentialist philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre stated that “Hell  is other people” as we begin to see ourselves through their eyes in their presence. Whether we  like it or not, in most cases, the presence of other people changes our experience of ourselves  and the world.

For example, we may be home alone, enjoying whatever we’re doing, but when someone  enters, there’s suddenly a different game going on. Most likely, there’s a shift in our behavior;  we put on a mask, even if it’s just a subtle one. We do this because we consider what other people  think about us and may not even be conscious we’re doing it.

Pessimist philosopher Schopenhauer  mentioned that we can only be truly ourselves when alone. In a way, that’s what Sartre also  implies: when alone, we are free from other people’s influence, free to be ourselves.  That’s why solitude feels so liberating, as we’re away from other people’s gaze.

Another reason we drift away could be disappointment in the world around us.  We may be disappointed in our direct environment and how family and friends treat  us (or treat each other, for that matter). We could have been victims of an unfortunate  string of bad relationships, which led us to the conclusion that people, generally, are a bunch  of toxic bastards, better to be avoided.

Just look at any ‘lone wolf’ type of villain, and we’ll  find traces of abuse by others in their past, turning them into these secluded misanthropes. However, the disappointment that causes people to drift away could also direct itself toward a  broader scope, which is quite common nowadays. For example, take people’s discontent with specific  political policies.

They feel overlooked, marginalized, or mistreated. Due to the copious  amounts of negative news, people often develop the distorted view that the world is entirely  doom and gloom and that the best way to defend oneself against this is by stacking two hundred  cans of tuna and living in a bunker. Others may experience such disgust by our very species that  they wish to distance themselves from humanity.

This dissatisfaction with the current state  of affairs, the pervasive Weltschmerz looming over our existence like a dark cloud, may  drive people to withdraw and observe the perceived collapse from a distance, in solitude. Some experience drifting away from people as a blessing, while others suffer in isolation.  Some grow exponentially in solitude, others hide and self-destruct.

So, as we drift away from  people, are we floating toward heaven or hell? Drfting away from people isn’t all bad, though.  For some, the disentanglement from the herd, so to speak, is a blessing.

Consider the freedom from  conventions and the peace of mind that comes with not dealing with others. Is there anything better  than sitting alone by the river with a fishing rod, somewhere in nature, far away from the hustle  and bustle of society? Think of the Taoist sage, becoming one with the Tao, residing in a blissful  solitude.

Or how about the mountain hermits of China? They estrange themselves from the general  public to seek things like self-cultivation, harmony with nature, and spiritual  enlightenment. Solitude isn’t inherently harmful; it’s how we use it that matters.

Estrangement and loneliness can be just as hellish as being around people. In our solitude, we may  be free from the judgmental gaze of others; we are now alone with our thoughts. And the quality  of our thoughts decides our experience in that solitude rather than the circumstances.

We could  live in the most beautiful environment, somewhere in nature; if cynical thoughts constantly  plague our minds, we won’t have a good time. The same goes for those who carry hatred toward  the people they’ve drifted away from. Take, for example, people of both sexes who have decided to  remain single forever.

Whether or not that’s the best choice in their particular situation aside,  we often see such radical decisions go together  with resentment. The same could be said about  people embracing particular, extreme world views, which often happens in seclusion, tumbling  down some ideological rabbit hole into an echo chamber of like-minded souls on the internet,  which exposes them to highly warped views of reality. Research shows that, specifically,  ‘moral echo chambers’ can boost radicalization.

One study examined over 900,000 posts in an  online community on Reddit known as ‘incels,’ which stands for ‘involuntary celibates. ’ Lead  author of this study, Dr Mohammad Atari, states: “In our research, we find that the more people  are in morally homogeneous environments, the more likely they are to resort to radical  means to defend themselves and their values. ” End quote.

Sometimes, people’s ‘drifting away’ is colored  by anger and hostility toward a whole group, sometimes the entire human species. Without a  doubt, they had once decided that by secluding themselves, perhaps for a while, they’d do  themselves a favor, which could have been valid to an extent. However, when wallowing in  hatred and fear toward whatever, regardless of how much they believe it’s justified, can  they claim they’re better off in solitude?

Imagine you’re a guy in your forties, somewhere  in, let’s say, the UK, spending his days scrolling on some racial purist websites while actively  loathing the cesspool Western civilization has become, as the Jews are carrying out their plans  to eradicate the white race by flooding the continent with immigrants. It’s all going down.  Muslims are taking over, which has always been their secret goal while moving to Europe under the  guise of labor migration, those sneaky bastards.

In isolation, often operating in these echo  chambers, people become susceptible to some very questionable theories. Of course, the idea  that some of their beliefs are pretty ridiculous, while others may contain some kernel  of truth but lack significant nuance, doesn’t cross their mind anymore, as the only  ‘truth’ they expose themselves to is brought by some Neo-Nazi from Harrison, Arkansas,  preaching to his internet choir all day. Don’t get me wrong: choosing to be indoctrinated  every Friday afternoon by your local extremist isn’t any better.

It’s just that estrangement from  people and self-imposed isolation can lead some to dark pathways. I mean, what’s life like focusing  on all this bleakness 24/7? How does that actually make you feel?

“Well, reality doesn’t care about  feelings,” you say. That’s true, but how reliable is your ‘reality’ when you’re secluded from and  out of touch with your environment, and your only gateway to what’s happening in the world are  the screens of your devices? Dr Atari states: “What I am more convinced of is that putting  yourself in an extremely homogeneous environment wherein nobody disagrees with your  values, or cheers ‘hell yeah!

’, is not a great environment to be in,  and it might even radicalize you. ” Consider the ‘regular’ people we’ve  been drifting away from, you know, those we might come across when touching  grass: the majority, the ‘normies,’ some call them (not from a place of kindness, by the  way). You may not like these people.

Nonetheless, they function as an essential sounding board  for what’s happening on a grassroots level. And, I’d say, observing them in real life, experiencing  life with them and through their eyes, is most likely a much more objective lens of perceiving  society than what the Neo-Nazi from Arkansas, or a radicalized imam, or Andrew  Tate has to say about it. Sure, the normies are oblivious to some things  going on, but they also, at the same time, represent the gist of what’s going on.

How can we  know the supposed “truth” about them if we don’t associate with them, don’t live among them,  don’t speak with them, or hang out with them, and the only information about these normies comes  from members of our little, closed-off bubbles, who declare their ideas as absolute facts? We lose touch with society when estranged from those who form the lion’s share. I don’t  claim losing touch with society is a bad thing per se.

Most likely, not even all echo chambers  are harmful. However, suppose, in our seclusion, we are simultaneously susceptive to other voices  trying to shape reality for us, and these voices are entirely out of whack with reality and seek  to recruit followers for a particular ideology or theory built on these out-of-whack ideas. In  that case, we escape people we perceive as harmful but let ourselves be sucked in by others  preying on our estrangement along the way.

Of course, embracing extremist voices is  just one part of the story. Loneliness and estrangement entail other nasty side effects  as well, such as mental health issues like depression and anxiety. I might talk about those  and my personal experiences in another video.

As mentioned, solitude or drifting away from  people isn’t inherently wrong. Aloneness can be a blessing, depending on how we use it. But  suppose we find ourselves becoming increasingly miserable and resentful in our estrangement. 

Suppose we’re becoming forces for destruction, tumbling deeper and deeper into some rabbit  hole where everyone agrees with each other and reinforces questionable ideas, some of which are  entirely out of touch with reality. In that case, we might want to change our course,  i. e.

, drift into another direction. Thank you for watching.