The Key To Understanding Men's Needs In Relationships | Past Present Future Podcast

nine years marriage three kids two boys one girl and uh it ended up uh with a divorce 2016 and it was very painful for me um I always blamed her not myself I lost my kids and when I say I lost my kids because she took custody not me and I I couldn't see them quite often as I used to go back home every day and see them so this emotional part was uh destroying me so two years I stayed without uh marriage she I heard that she got uh married and for me I was

like okay move on with your life let's let's continue so I met my current wife we were friends at the gym and we started dating starting going out until I kind of felt like my behavior is the reason that could Lo made me lose the current wife that I have and this is something which is strange because they're two different women from two different backgrounds two different uh cultures mindsets how come they're identical there's something similar but they're yet totally different then I started s thinking about is it me because I used to hear this

from my ex like I'm your mirror of your behavior and I never really thought about this uh word so I was like really is it me I mean women say that the man is I mean we are the mirror of a man so let me try because I didn't want to fail again I hate failing again you you fail one time that's fine but again no there's something wrong with you so I I I took the I swallowed my pride and my ego for a second as a man to become that person that this woman

wants I started seeing differences in the behavior which is exactly what I want I have already stress I don't want more stress I need peace of mind I need a peaceful life I need a happy life so I started changing and adapting experiment after experiment one after another I started seeing good results amazing results a person who's in front of me is more supportive give me an example of one of these experiments I can't think of an example but I I said it it's swallowing your pride and your ego as a man that when we

are talking right now me and you we think different I mean we think alike and we talk alike and whatever I would say you would understand me but when it comes to a woman you're dealing with emotions it's different I always thought that a woman is like a friend a guy friend so my logic my one two3 is one two three for her but it it's not it's ABC could be 32 six you never know the pattern is different there so to be honest with you what taught me the the real thing that taught me

is my daughter from my ex so two boys and one girl uh I I stayed with her only for a year and a half almost or less um I I noticed that she started behaving like an old woman and she cries and falls down and I tell her no this is not right and then she you know spreads her lips down and like gives me these angry looks and start no no no bad you and she doesn't want to talk to me so her behavior was like a small woman that I was like okay this

is my daughter I'm not going to let her be upset even though I shouted at her or told her off to do no this is not you're going to hurt yourself doing that and she started crying the moment she started using her emotions as as a small kid and She's mine I'm not I don't want anyone to hurt my daughter I pick her up I kiss her I'll make her uh happy and then she's fine sometimes she doesn't accept straight away takes some time until but when she does she's in my arms she's happy so

I was like wait a second can I apply this technique on an older version of a woman and I did and it worked so the similarity is there some some women in the comments attacked me by when when I said said this but we're not the same we're no emotionally a man needs to understand because this is something this is a language that we men we understand it's not let's leave the women aside women stay aside when I'm saying this I'm talking to the men and only men who have daughters understand what I'm saying because

a daughter for a man is a totally different story um boys yeah they're they're good they're fine they're beautiful they're amazing you know they're going to carry your name they're going to be men in the future but a daughter is totally different it teaches you so much and uh the love the first love of a man is his daughter and the first love of a daughter is the father very true so that is from the aspect of talking to the men from your experiences and from what you've seen and learned as in sorry the the

the killing of the ego or the lowering of the ego and the Pride for a man what advice does it would you give to a woman from her to a woman to a woman men are very simple very very simple and very very easy two things give to a man and you can have that man as a ring in your finger respect appreciation that's it these two things respect his decision respect the way that he wants to lead things the way that he thinks the way that he does things and then just give him show

him that respect and then if you like oppose to what he's doing you can sit down and talk to him but make him feel respected for this this is something the the other part is the uh appreciation we don't hear appreciation that much as men but it's very very touchy for us it's very very important it it reaches our soul the moment you say thank you for something that we do the moment and and it's a way that a woman teaches a man that's do more of this I want you to do it more when

you tell me thank you when you tell me like wow you're working so hard we really appreciate that know when I go back home and my wife tells me this the next day tomorrow is my off day I'm ready to go back to work and conquer the world just because she said this to me this is appreciation it makes us go 10 times stronger and fight outside another thing that I just want to go back to and it's very very important that I have to say this uh message here to all the men the Beast

that we were training a while ago and I was I was telling you to train and feed and get him ready this guy if you cannot contain him and expose him to your wife or girlfriend he's going to destroy your marriage leave him outside let her know that he is there outside the house make her know he she has to know she has to see that beast but outside not with her when you're with her you're a small little puppy that's it amazing now these things do you feel like these advices that You' given to

both sides do you feel like they are within human instincts or there something we have to be taught and the reason I ask is because now maybe it's been going on forever but it does feel like a lot of marriages a lot of relationships are either toxic or ending do you feel why why are people not doing what you're talking about soft life and um the the bond between a husband and a wife is very very important in raising new generations uh most of the families have been destroyed and the effect is the new kids

and how they grow up there are people who are divorced and they have good terms in raising their kids and priority for them is raising their kids thank God I me me and my ex she's doing an amazing job with my kids the last time I've saw them they're they're very well raised um and me as a father I'm trying to do my best to keep up with what she's doing and as my part so it's very very important in terms of uh raising the kids but it's a man's responsibility most of the divorces is

a man's responsibility men are soft men are weak when I say men are soft and men are weak I'm not saying physically I'm saying mentally their ego is higher their Beast could be probably all over them if he's fed he's he could be just hungry he's not Fe he's not fed in the right way so you see the the the analogy that I'm trying to say like the Beast is the aggression in the man okay learning how to contain and master that and and and pet him you are only raising up you not downgrading yourself

by hiding that Beast you have a beast how strong are you to have a pet Beast who are you to contain in Chains a pet Beast walk with a lion in the streets everyone will fear you more than the lion because you learned how to contain that lion and I'm talking a different level of a lion a beast inside you so when you think that you're strong as a man by letting that aggression outside in public with your friends with your family with your partner you're not a man you're a boy a man who knows

how to contain that beast and show him when when it's time to show not to your woman not to your child shouting or beating your your child learn how to emotionally treat your wife right and then if need did show The Other Guys the beast when it's ready so for the future is there any projects you're working on is there anything uh that you're kind of moving towards now towards uh raising uh men to raising boys to be men okay um because I feel responsible uh in this Society to help people because I was one

of the victims of uh being a boy for a long time m and only realizing after a long time how to become a man and how to raise as a man and people call it maturity I call it becoming a man like an an Optimum level of a man so um it's it's very very important it takes a lot of Pride uh swallowing for for the boys to to understand what I'm trying to say but if people are ready if they are ready to fix themselves and there are a lot who are Awakening and want

to be because they're at the edge of losing a partner losing a job or losing something uh very precious for them and this I I would call call it like a a factory of men that um uh this is the new project and is this an online project is this it is an online and one toone also project very interesting safe thank you so much for your time today thank you very much Chris app apprciate it