How to FORGIVE (when you don’t really want to)

anything bad that people try to do to you God is going to flip it on its head because when God has a plan for your life that plan is going to come to pass you can't mess with God's anointed hello everyone welcome or welcome back to 828 with Kate I'm your host Kate Taylor and two weeks ago there were a thousand of you following the podast and now there are over 11,000 of you I cannot believe how much you guys blew up the last episode but I'm just so glad that it resonated with that many

of you and really grateful that God allowed our paths to cross so thank you if you are a new subscriber or listener wherever you may be tuning in and I just pray that this podcast is a blessing to you and that you continue to get something useful out of it this week I have a message about forgiveness if there is someone in your life that you know you need to forgive but you just don't know how this is for you maybe you even know that you would feel so much better if you could could let

go of all of that bitterness and resentment that you've been holding on to but you're mad and you almost don't want to let go of of all of that because then you would feel like they're getting away with it this is exactly how I was feeling in my early 20s I went through a situation where someone wronged me immensely I mean I was lied to and betrayed by this person on an insane level I knew I had to forgive so I was watching countless sermons online I was Googling articles about forgiveness and everyone basically said

the same thing they all said God forgave you so he wants you to forgive others and I thought I knew that but no one is telling me how how do I actually bring myself or get myself to that point of forgiveness I was staying with my dad at the time and I remember one day just marching around the perimeter of his garden crying to God just saying God I know that you want me to forgive but I don't know how and eventually God gave me a revelation about forgiveness which has been life-changing for me and

I pray that it's about to be lifechanging for you too he revealed this to me through what has become my all-time favorite Bible story the story of Joseph so I'm going to recap the story for you and then I'll give you three truths that are hopefully going to help you be able to finally forgive in Genesis chapter 37 we learn about a 17-year-old boy named Joseph who is the favorite Child in his family it says his father Jacob loved Joseph more than any of his other Sons because he had been born to him in his

old age and he made an ornate robe for him when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him honestly fair enough I'm sure I would feel the same then one day Joseph tells his brothers that he had a dream that they are going to bow down to him and his brother said do you intend to Reign Over Us will you actually rule us and they hated him all the more because of his dream and and what he had said

well the story goes on and the brothers end up being so filled with hatred that they plot to kill Joseph they say to each other come now let's kill him and throw him in one of these syst and say that a ferocious animal devoured him then we'll see what comes of his dreams so they throw Joseph in this syst but then they end up seeing some men passing by on their way to Egypt and they decide they're not really going to benefit from killing Joseph so they're going to sell him to these men instead it

says they pulled Joseph up out of the syy and sold him for 20 shekels of silver to the ishmaelites who took him to Egypt by the way does anyone know how much 20 shekels equates to in today's money because I tried to Google this and I got all kinds of answers but can you imagine these are his own Brothers literally selling him human trafficking him and a lot of us have suffered most at the hands of our family or at the hands of the people who were meant to protect us and Joseph was no different

the Bible says then his brothers took Joseph's special Road Rob they dipped it in animal blood and then they took it back to their father to convince him that Joseph was dead meanwhile Joseph has been taken to Egypt where he has been purchased from these men by one of Pharaoh's officials a man named portier and he's been made to be a slave in Piper's house now listen to this the Lord was with Joseph so that he prospered and he lived in the house of his Egyptian Master when his master saw that the Lord was with

him and that the lord gave him success in everything he did Joseph found favor in his eyes and became his attendant Piper put him in charge of his household and he entrusted to his care everything he owned now Joseph was wellb built and hand and after a while his master's wife took notice of Joseph and said come to bed with me you guys the Bible has more drama than any reality show but Joseph thankfully refused he was a good man a man of integrity he did not want to betray his master like that but this

woman continues to try and seduce him and he continues to say no well she does not take that rejection very well at all so she sets him up to make him look like he's done something that he shouldn't have done and now his master is livid he is so angry that he ends up throwing Joseph into prison poor Joseph is trying to do right by everyone only for them to spit it back in his face but while Joseph was there in the prison the Lord was with him he showed him kindness and granted him favor

in the eyes of the prison warden so the warden put Joseph in charge of all those held in the prison and he was made responsible for all that was done there the warden paid no attention to anything under Joseph's care because the Lord was with Joseph and gave him success in whatever he did long story short Joseph through a series of events ends up finding favor with Pharaoh himself Pharaoh has a couple of dreams that he doesn't know what they mean so he calls on Joseph to interpret them for him Joseph says that it means

there's going to be a famine in the land and Pharaoh recognizing the spirit of God in Joseph appoints him as ruler over all of Egypt because of Joseph they were able to be prepared for the famine and store up huge quantities of grain when the famine had spread over the whole country Joseph opened all the storehouses and sold grain to the Egyptians for the famine was severe throughout Egypt and all the world came to Egypt to buy Grain from Joseph because the famine was severe everywhere now guess who ends up needing to come all the

way to Egypt to buy Grain from Joseph his brothers at this point 13 years have passed Joseph is now 30 years old and it says Joseph was the governor of the land the person who sold grain to all its people so when Joseph's brothers arrived they bowed down to him with their faces to the ground just as Joseph had dreamt all those years ago tell me what would you do these are your brothers who have left you for dead separated you from your father for 13 years they have robbed you of your youth you have

been sold into slavery put in prison and now you are in a position of power you could make them your slaves you could do to them exactly what they did to to you and Joseph's brothers are afraid of this rightfully so they say to each other what if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him but do you know what Joseph does he says to them don't be afraid am I in the place of God and he reassures them and speaks kindly to them he gives

them free grain prepares a huge feast for them invites them to come and eat with him and then He blesses them with a place to stay for all their family and all their flock to be provided for until the famine is over he kisses his brothers and weeps over them and he says I am your brother Joseph the one you sold into Egypt and now do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you for 2 years now

there has been famine in the land and for the next 5 years there will be no plowing and reaping but God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a Remnant on Earth and to save your lives by a great Deliverance so then it was not you who sent me here but God he made me father to Pharaoh Lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt this is what God revealed to me about forgiveness the reason Joseph could forgive his brothers and the reason we can forgive those who have hurt us is

because in some ways what they did doesn't really matter now please don't get triggered and turn off this episode because you misunderstand what I'm saying when I say what they did doesn't matter I do not mean that it did not have an impact or that it didn't leave lasting damage this is coming from a person who has been through abuse I know what it's like for someone to do something wrong and you have to live with the repercussions every single day while they seemingly go about their lives I know how that feels and it breaks

God's heart that someone used their free will to cause you harm not one of your tears has gone unnoticed Psalm 568 says he keeps track of all your Sorrows he has collected all your tears in his bottle he has recorded each one in his book I do not want to minimize your pain it matters to God it matters so much to him that he will not let that be the end of your story and maybe some of the things people did to you were pure evil but listen to what Joseph said to his brothers next

he said you meant evil against me but God meant it all for good he brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people anything bad that people try to do to you God is going to flip it on it head when I say what they did doesn't matter I mean Romans 8:31 if God is for me who can be against me what can me Immortals do to me they can try Joseph's brothers tried but the Lord was with Joseph even in the system even in slavery even in the prison for

everything he went through for those 13 years the Lord was with him because you can't mess with God's anointed some people will choose to do evil things with their free will but Joseph recognized that God was still in control his brothers didn't like him and they didn't like his dream and they tried to stop it but did it work no because when God has a plan for your life that plan is going to come to pass anything that other people do to try and stop it will only backfire on them acts 539 says but if

it is from God you will not be able to stop these men you will only find yourselves fighting against God when God is with you no human can come against you that weapon may be formed it shall not prosper and every tongue which Rises against you in judgment God shall condemn this is the heritage of the Servants of the Lord Dr Tony Evans said we often give people too much credit what Joseph's brothers did was horribly wrong but even through their sinful actions God was orchestrating something bigger than they were Joseph recognized The Detour of

his life were part of God's providential plan how could he possibly respond in Anger when God had used their terrible acts to deliver him to such a lofty position God used what Joseph went through to bring him to a position where he could save the lives of other people God has used what I have been through to help you through this ministry and he will use what you have been through to help someone else too because God turns evil for good maybe you can't see that yet maybe like Joseph it's going to take years for

you to really see God flip things so in the meantime you have to trust God because that is what forgiveness ultimately is this is point number two forgiveness is an act of trusting God see you think forgiveness is about you and the person who wronged you it's not forgiveness is between you and God it's a command he gave you and you forgiving them is an obedience to him it's an act of trust because you are saying God I trust that you are just I trust that you wouldn't tell me to forgive that person if it

was going to be to my detriment I trust that you love me I trust that you only want good things for my life so if you are telling me forgive and I will be forgiven if you are telling me to love my enemies and pray for those who persecute me I'm going to obbey you Joseph knew that an unforgiving heart is a disobedient heart and he wasn't willing to let what his brothers did to him mess up his fellowship with God espe esally when God's hand was on him causing him to have success in whatever

he did the blessing of the Lord was upon Joseph so he found favor and prospered no matter what situation human beings put him in I wonder if that would have been the case if Joseph had an unforgiving heart I wonder if God would have raised him up like that if he was filled with bitterness and resentment would God have trusted trusted him with a position of that much power if he knew that Joseph would abuse it but Joseph recognized his rank he said am I in the place of God he knew it was not his

place to judge his brothers because we have a judge and it's not us Psalm 140 ver 12 I know that the Lord will maintain the cause of The Afflicted and will Ex cute Justice for the needy Romans 2:6 says God will repay each person according to what they have done it was not Joseph's place to seek revenge nor is it ours Romans 12:19 says never take your own Revenge beloved but leave room for the wrath of God for it is written vengeance is mine I will repay says the Lord that's another reason I think we

are often hesitant to forgive is because we want that person to repay us for what they have done we want them to pay us back for all of the hurt that they have caused and to make things right again but the reality is and this is point number three my last Point even if they tried they can't repay you but God can Joseph's brothers couldn't repay him but God God did in fact the Bible says Joseph even named his firstborn son manasse which means to forget and he said it is because the Lord has made

me forget all my trouble and all my father's household God blessed Joseph so abundantly that he forgot everything he had been through and the people who had caused him harm then Joseph named his second son Ephraim which means fruitful and said it is because the Lord has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering God promises to restore what you lost Joel 2:25 I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten and not only does he promise to repay you in full he promises to repay you double Zachariah 9:12 return to your

Fortress you prisoners of Hope even now now I announce that I will restore twice as much to you this verse means so much to me because I have seen God do this in my life I grew up not meeting my dad for 22 years that's how old I was the first time I saw my dad in person and people always ask me how I forgave him for not being there for so many years the truth is when I made that decision to forgive I accepted that as remorseful as my dad was there was nothing he

could do to pay me back for what I had lost my childhood years are gone he will never teach me how to ride a bike or drop me off at my first day of school he will never comfort me through my first heartbreak but what I did not expect when I made the choice to forgive anyway was how much God would give me back double Isaiah 617 says because you got a double dose of trouble and more than your share of contempt your inheritance in the land will be doubled and your joy go on forever

it has only been 6 years since my dad and I met and we will both tell you that we barely remember life before we met each other we have a closer body Bond I would say than some of my friends who have grown up their whole lives with their parents and so much of that bond is because of everything we went through my entire life demonstrates the truth of Romans 828 which is the verse that inspired this podcast it says and we know that God causes all things not just some things to work together for

good to those who love God to those who are called according to his purpose Joseph's life demonstrates this as well and it can be the story of your life too but it takes surrendering your pain and your purpose to God it takes Faith to believe that what they did at some point won't really matter and that may be here on Earth or it may be in light of Eternity but what we do know is that God is not a man that he should lie his word will not return void and all his promises come to

pass So What then shall we say in response to these things if God is for us who can be against us I hope this episode was helpful if it was please consider maybe leaving a comment I love reading through them all I'm doing my best to reply to all of the ones on the last episode but I do read all of the comments so I appreciate you guys so much for watching or listening wherever you're tuning in I will talk to you again in a couple of weeks not next Wednesday but the Wednesday after until

next time God bless you guys