heya Playa have you been sending text messages to someone that you'd like and you haven't really been getting a response from them chances are you falling into the boring text trap and today my goal is to help you figure out how to get out of it for those of you that are new here my name is Josh and every single week I make videos sharing tips ideas and stories teaching you how to be your best self so if you want to learn and grow hit the subscribe button and make sure to click on the notification
bell so let me break it down like this the boring text wrap is a cycle that people fall into where they just send bad text messages over and over they'd either kill the conversation make it boring or just make that person so uninterested in you that they ignore your messages outright and the oddest part about is that there are five simple things that you could be doing right now to get yourself out of it so let's walk through them number one don't send the same greetings every single day this is a mistake a lot of
people make because they don't really know how to start a conversation but they know that they want to talk to their crush every single day so they feel like just introducing themselves saying hi asking how their day is is a good way to start but that is wrong every single conversation you start with someone should have a purpose simply just saying hey or how's your day going doesn't really have a purpose yeah your kick-starting a conversation by getting them to talk but you're really putting it on them to come up with a conversation topic once
you say hi what are they supposed to say hey back and then you're back to square one plus it could be super annoying and just come off completely uncreate if just to send variations of the same message every single day for example hey hi how's it going howdy how you doing what's up what are you doing what are you up to what are you doing today and I know you're thinking well if I don't start with a greeting then how do I open up conversations and that leads into mistake number two alternate between asking questions
and telling stories doing this is gonna breathe life into your conversations it's gonna give that conversation that you're starting with them a purpose so what does that look like exactly well the type of questions you should be asking our open-ended ones open-ended questions are ways for them to share their opinion on something you're asking them something direct and that way it's easier for them to give you a direct response back in fact I've listed a few open-ended questions you can ask right here and when it comes to telling stories think about the crazy experiences you've
had the weird people you've run into on the street or the crazy things that have happened to you in your life for example one story that I might start a conversation with someone about is hey I'm thinking about making a video on this specific topic what do you think do you think that this is something that people would care about and I know to some degree you might be thinking well my life is pretty boring nothing exciting happens but just like a comedian can find small little pockets of humor and things going on in their
lives and turn it into comedy routines you can do the exact same thing and that's kind of what I mean by starting off the conversation with something interesting asking someone something like hey random question what's your favorite animal or you won't believe what happened to me when I got home from school today is a good way to kind of inject a little bit of curiosity on their part into that conversation and it totally beats out the boring and simple hey how you doing today the third way to avoid that boring text rap is something that
you personally may not be too skilled in but it's important for you to try to do anyway and that's to tease them and to flirt with them let me break that down a little bit when I say to tease someone I mean to find something that the two of you both understand about each other and they're okay with you making fun of for example going back to the favorite animal question I mentioned before let's say that they love kangaroos they're just obsessed with kangaroos you might want to call them kangaroo girl as an inside joke
something that they can understand you're teasing them for that they're not gonna actually get super offended by now one thing you want to make sure of is that that teasing doesn't eventually lead into bullying if you see them getting upset or annoyed by you doing it I would say stop it outright but if they end up coming up with a nickname for you or they end up laughing and off or rolling their eyes at it then I think you've created something you've added a little thing to include in your text message just to spice them
up to make them a little bit more fun to have and when I talk about flirting basically any kind of appreciation or acknowledgement for what they do what they say how they dress how they act anything like that is gonna make them feel special that's the whole point of flirting in general you want to show that person that you're acknowledging them for who they are now one thing you want to make sure of is that you're not saying same compliments all the time if you're constantly telling them that they're beautiful that they're attractive or that
they're amazing that they're perfect yeah that's gonna get boring pretty quickly instead try to attach your flirting remarks to something tangible something that that person can actually relate to for example say something like this wow I never really noticed how beautiful your hair was until you wore it down like that the other day or the joke you told that lunch was so funny it had me thinking about you all day long comments like this will break up boring text patterns because it brings that person back to a time where they felt good and the fact
that you're complimenting on top of that is gonna make them feel extra good and even more involved in your conversation number four it's easy to fall into this mistake because it's so comforting texting back and forth but you definitely want to make sure that the two of you don't text forever you want to start shifting eventually into making plans to hang out one-on-one now texting is always going to be a part of how the two of you talk to each other but if it's the only way that you communicate with them eventually it's gonna get
boring you can only do so much and say so much over text you need to start transitioning to in-person interactions think about it like this this chart explains how the texting cycle works people get super excited when they reach the pinnacle of texting where the two of you are going back and forth responding as soon as possible to each other's messages but if it doesn't transition into hanging out then it's gonna start to pitfall you're gonna start to see they respond less and less or the messages they give you back or just boring uninterested ones
and that's the last thing you want to receive so how long is too long well let's say for example you've been texting this person here and there maybe a few times a day or a few times a week for the last few months or even a year when should you ask them out well I think you have to ask yourself this are you at a point with that person where they're actually interested in responding to you or are they just responding out of courtesy are they responding because you sent them a message if you're in
that beginning stage you definitely want to follow the beginning tips that I shared to avoid the boring text wrap but if you're at the point where they are responding frequently they are joking with you you too have built that type of connection this is the moment to act trust me on this I made this mistake tons of times there were so many girls in the past that I used to text that I was afraid to ask out because I was afraid they were gonna say no so I stayed in the comfort of just messaging them
I felt like that was easy at least then I got a response from them but eventually what happened was I hit the dip of that curve and they stopped being interested probably on there and they thought this guy isn't asking me out this isn't really going anywhere I have a million other people I can talk to why should i invest time into him and when I say asking them to hang out I don't mean going on this huge elaborate date where it's dinner and a movie and all these fun things I mean something simple like
hey let's get together around lunchtime or let's get together after school one day and just go get something to eat something small something simple something where you can take time to get to know them in person and the fifth way to avoid that boring text trap is to make sure you don't breathe down their neck give them time to respond so many people become impatient and excited waiting and wanting that person to respond that they start to over message them they start to get worried and nervous and start to sabotage their own chances just because
they're impatient if a person doesn't respond to your message as soon as you send it give them some time to respond people have busy lives they have things going on after school they have other conversations going on with other people or they may just not be ready to respond just yet be patient be understanding and don't worry about it and look there are some people that just suck at responding to text messages sometimes they'll respond immediately sometimes they'll respond days later if that's the case that just goes to show that they're not as involved with
you yet on that platform they may act differently with other close friends but you need to work on building that closeness with them and if texting is not working on if you're just not building it through texting then you're gonna have to take the alternative route which is to talk to them in person more frequently this is something I find myself telling people all the time if that person isn't responding over text don't ask them why they aren't responding over text don't keep badgering them there just find an alternate way to talk to them maybe
they're with a group of friends you want to approach the friends and talk to the whole collective or maybe you see them in school and you want to strike up a conversation with them don't ever put pressure on people and ask why they're not responding to you because they're gonna come up with some made-up reason why oh they were busy or this so that happened at the end of the day what you want to do is build a close relationship with that person and the only way you're gonna do that is by showing them that
you're willing to be understanding of the boundaries that they've set for themselves plus if you're texting that person every single day all the time you're eventually gonna run out of things to talk about conversations you're just gonna flatline on their own because there's nothing new to bring to the table so you want to kind of leave a little bit of time and space in between so you guys can live your lives and then come back together and share them with each other you don't have to fall into the boring tax trap if you follow the
five tips that I've shared today you're definitely gonna help bring yourself out of it and even revitalize the conversation you're having with that person but what I think you should do now is check out the video over here we're break down more text and tips how to prevent yourself from having boring conversations with that person that video would be super helpful for you so I recommend checking him out and I know guys I'll catch you next time as always love and peace