How To Unconditionally Love Yourself - Lao Tzu (Taoism)

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Philosophies for Life
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This video is sponsored by Brilliant. org. Brilliant is a website and app that offers a variety of maths, science and engineering courses for everyone - no matter their age or knowledge level!
We will talk more about Brilliant at the end of the video but for now let's get on with how to love yourself from the philosophy of Lao Tzu. Lao Tzu, an ancient Chinese philosopher and the founder of Taoism, offers profound insights into various aspects of life, including self-love and self-acceptance. Taoism is a philosophical and spiritual tradition that emphasises living in harmony with the Tao, the natural way of the universe.
According to Lao Tzu, self-love goes beyond external factors such as achievements, possessions, or circumstances. It originates from a deep connection with one's inner essence and a profound acceptance of oneself as an integral part of the interconnected web of existence. In this video, we’re going to explore five ways to love yourself inspired by the wisdom of Lao Tzu.
1. Embrace your natural state Lao Tzu says "Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner. ” Imagine a serene river gracefully flowing through a vast landscape, untouched by external influences or the desire to alter its course.
This river effortlessly follows its own path, embodying the natural flow of life, undisturbed by judgments or expectations. In this powerful metaphor, the river symbolises your authentic self and the natural state that Lao Tzu encourages you to embrace. Like the river, you are meant to navigate life with ease, guided by your inner wisdom.
Embracing your natural state means releasing the need to control or resist the currents of existence. Just as the river adapts to obstacles and challenges along its journey, accepting your natural state empowers you to develop resilience and adaptability. You learn to navigate life's twists and turns with grace and inner strength.
Moreover, the river's flow isn’t rigid or fixed. It effortlessly adapts to the changing landscape, just as accepting your natural state means remaining open to growth and transformation. Change becomes an opportunity for self-discovery and evolution.
By aligning yourself with the flow of the river, you tap into the wisdom of the Tao and experience a profound sense of interconnectedness. Your acceptance of your natural state contributes to the harmony and well-being of the universe, just as the river nourishes the land it passes through. Imagine you, a person who has always been drawn to the arts.
Since a young age, you have had a deep love for painting, writing, and exploring various creative outlets. However, as you grew older, societal expectations and external pressures began to influence those choices. You found yourself pursuing a career in a field considered more "practical" and financially stable.
Although you achieved success in your chosen profession, you felt a constant inner restlessness and a lack of fulfilment. Deep down, you knew you were suppressing your true passion and denying your natural state. Inspired by the teachings of Lao Tzu, you realised that you had been resisting the flow of your own authenticity.
You recognised that, like a river, you needed to adapt and shift your course to align with your true nature. With newfound clarity, you made the courageous decision to embrace your love of the arts and make a change in your life. You enrolled in art classes, reignited your creativity, and connected with a community of like-minded individuals who shared your passion.
You allowed yourself to grow and transform, acknowledging that change was not only natural but necessary for your own well-being. As you began to wholeheartedly accept your natural state, you experienced a profound sense of liberation. You no longer felt confined by societal expectations or the need for external validation.
Your artwork blossomed with authenticity and depth, reflecting your inner journey of self-acceptance. You recognized that your creativity was an integral part of your being, and by nurturing that aspect of yourself, you learned to value and appreciate your unique gifts and talents. By aligning with the river's flow, you embraced the wisdom of the Tao and felt deeply connected.
Recognizing your integral role in the greater whole, you nourished harmony and well-being. Your authenticity and alignment radiated positive energy, inspiring others with your natural state. Through the metaphor of the river, Lao Tzu reminds us that when we let go of judgments, expectations, and societal pressures, we create space for self-acceptance and allow ourselves to thrive in our true nature.
By embracing our authentic self, we find not only fulfilment in our creative endeavours but also a deeper connection to oneself and the world around us. 2. Let go of self-judgement According to Lao Tzu "Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others.
Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her. ” Lao Tzu compares our minds to a clear mirror, suggesting that we should strive to keep our minds free from distortions and judgments.
Just as a mirror reflects whatever is placed before it without adding any personal interpretation, we can practice letting go of self-judgement by cultivating a mind that observes without labelling or attaching value. One can allow thoughts, emotions, and experiences to arise and pass through our awareness without getting caught up in the web of self-criticism. This practice requires developing mindfulness and non-attachment.
When self-judgement arises, we can simply observe it as a passing reflection in the mirror of our mind, without getting entangled in its storyline. Instead of attaching ourselves to these judgments, we recognize them as transient and impermanent. In doing so, we create a spaciousness within ourselves—a space that allows for self-acceptance, compassion, and understanding.
We become more aware of the habitual patterns of self-judgement and gradually release the grip they have on our well-being. In our modern world, where comparison and self-evaluation are prevalent, practicing the metaphor of the clear mirror can have transformative effects. Imagine you're at a social gathering, surrounded by people who seem accomplished and confident.
Instead of falling into the trap of self-judgement, you bring to mind the image of a clear mirror. You remind yourself that just as the mirror reflects without adding interpretation, you can observe the qualities and achievements of others without comparing or devaluing yourself. You cultivate a non-judgmental mindset by recognizing that everyone has their unique path and strengths.
Rather than perceiving others' successes as a measure of your own worth, you appreciate their achievements and see them as sources of inspiration or learning. Throughout the gathering, you continue to observe your thoughts and emotions without attachment or judgement. You allow them to arise and fade away, without allowing self-critical thoughts to overshadow your experience.
By doing so, you maintain clarity and a sense of inner peace. This way you embrace a mindset of self-acceptance, cultivating compassion and kindness towards yourself and others. You begin to appreciate the beauty of your own unique reflection, free from distortions and limitations.
3. Live in the present Lao Tzu considers “If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future.
If you are at peace, you are living in the present. ” Lao Tzu encourages us to embrace the present moment, comparing it to a flowing river that continuously moves forward without dwelling on the past or rushing towards the future. This metaphor reminds us of the importance of living in the here and now, rather than getting caught up in regrets about what has passed, or anxieties about what is yet to come.
When we are trapped in regrets and dwell on the past, we hinder our capacity for self-acceptance. The past may be filled with experiences that evoke shame, guilt, or disappointment. However, by clinging to these negative emotions, we deny ourselves the opportunity to grow and evolve.
Lao Tzu encourages us to let go of self-judgement and accept that the past is unchangeable. By accepting our past experiences as valuable lessons and reframing them as stepping stones to our present state, we can cultivate self-acceptance and learn to love ourselves unconditionally. Likewise, anxiously rushing towards the future creates unease and prevents us from fully appreciating the present.
We may become consumed by worries, uncertainties, and fears about what lies ahead. However, Lao Tzu reminds us that the future is unpredictable, and excessive focus on it robs us of the joy and peace available in the present moment. By redirecting our attention to the here and now, we can cultivate a deeper sense of self-acceptance and self-love.
Practicing living in the present moment requires conscious awareness. It involves anchoring our attention to the present, observing our thoughts and emotions without judgement, and fully engaging with our current experiences. By bringing our awareness to the present, we can develop a deeper connection with ourselves, our surroundings, and the richness of each moment.
Imagine that you often find yourself caught up in regrets about missed opportunities from the past. You constantly berate yourself, thinking you could have done better or made different choices. This self-criticism creates a barrier to self-acceptance and hampers your ability to love yourself unconditionally.
To change this, you need to incorporate mindfulness practices into your daily life. Learn to observe your thoughts without judgement, acknowledging that the past is beyond your control. Instead of dwelling on what you can’t change, learn to shift your focus to the present moment.
As you practice living in the present, you start to recognize your inherent worth and value, independent of past experiences or future expectations. You discover that self-acceptance is not conditional on achievements or external validation. By embracing the present moment, you learn to appreciate your unique qualities and strengths, fostering a deep sense of self-acceptance and self-love.
Living in the present moment also allows you to nurture a greater sense of gratitude for life's simple joys. You become aware of the beauty in everyday experiences, finding solace in moments of stillness, nature's wonders, and meaningful connections with others. Through this newfound presence and appreciation, your self-love blossoms, and you begin to recognize your interconnectedness with the world and the inherent value you bring to it.
4. Trust the unfolding of the Tao In the words of Lao Tzu “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow.
Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. ” Lao Tzu's teachings revolve around the concept of the Tao, emphasising the natural order and rhythm that permeates the universe.
By aligning oneself with the Tao and trusting in its unfolding, one can cultivate a deep sense of self-acceptance. This transformative process involves relinquishing the desire for excessive control and allowing life to flow in its natural course, embracing both the moments of joy and the challenges that come your way. The Tao, as described by Lao Tzu, embodies the innate harmony and balance that exists within the universe.
It encompasses everything, from the visible to the unseen, to the known to the unknown. By aligning ourselves with this universal force, we tap into a wellspring of wisdom and guidance that can lead us towards self-acceptance and a more meaningful existence. To trust in the unfolding of the Tao is to surrender to the inherent wisdom of life itself.
It requires letting go of the need for excessive control and allowing events to naturally unfold without resistance. When we embrace this mindset, we open ourselves to the flow of life, both its joys and challenges, and find greater peace within ourselves. For example, let's consider a situation where you have been diligently working towards a specific career goal.
Despite your efforts, things don't seem to be progressing as quickly as you had hoped. In this moment, you can practice trusting the unfolding of the Tao. Instead of becoming frustrated or trying to force the outcome, you step back and remind yourself to surrender to the natural flow of life.
You trust that the universe has its own timing and that there may be unforeseen factors at play. Rather than resisting the present circumstances, you choose to have faith in the process. By trusting the unfolding of the Tao, you release the burden of control and find inner stillness amidst uncertainty.
You let go of attachment to a specific outcome and remain open to the possibilities that may arise. This mindset shift allows you to be more present and receptive, enabling you to make the most of the opportunities that come your way. In this state of trust and surrender, you are able to navigate challenges with greater resilience and adaptability.
You embrace the lessons and growth that can emerge from unexpected turns of events. Rather than viewing setbacks as failures, you see them as opportunities for self-discovery and personal development. Trusting in the unfolding of the Tao requires embracing the understanding that not everything is within our control.
It entails acknowledging the interconnectedness of all things and recognizing that life operates on its own rhythm and timetable. By relinquishing our need for excessive control, we open up space for spontaneity, creativity, and serendipity to manifest in our lives. This practice enables us to cultivate profound trust, resilience, and inner stillness, empowering us to gracefully navigate the ups and downs of life with harmony and grace.
5. Cultivate inner stillness In our final quote from Lao Tzu for this video, he says “To a mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders. ” Lao Tzu emphasises the significance of cultivating inner stillness as a means to connect with our true nature and find peace within ourselves.
He compares the mind to a calm and still lake, reflecting the world around it without disturbances. Imagine yourself in the midst of a bustling city, surrounded by noise, distractions, and constant activity. It can be challenging to find a moment of peace amidst the chaos.
However, by following Lao Tzu's teachings, you decide to seek inner stillness and connect with your true self, despite the external noise. You find a serene park and settle on a bench, taking a few deep breaths to centre yourself. You consciously let go of the external distractions and shift your focus inward.
As you gently close your eyes, you become aware of your breath, feeling the gentle rise and fall of your chest. You allow any thoughts or worries to pass through your mind like clouds, without attaching them or getting caught up in their narratives. In this practice, your intention is to quiet the chatter of the mind and enter a state of deep stillness.
You become fully present in the moment, fully aware of your surroundings, yet not absorbed by them. You immerse yourself in the sensations of the present, whether it's feeling the breeze on your skin, hearing the birds chirp, or smelling the scent of flowers in the air. As you continue to cultivate inner stillness, you begin to notice a sense of calm and clarity emerging from within you.
Your mind becomes less cluttered, and a profound sense of peace settles in. In this state, you connect with your true nature, experiencing a deep sense of harmony and alignment with the world around you. Practicing inner stillness regularly allows you to access this state even amidst the demands and challenges of daily life.
It becomes a tool for finding solace and regaining balance whenever you feel overwhelmed or disconnected. , enhancing self-awareness, clarity of thought, and a deeper understanding of your own needs and desires. Furthermore, incorporating a daily meditation ritual into your routine can deepen the practice of cultivating inner stillness.
Meditation not only helps you cultivate self-love but also enhances your overall wellbeing. It promotes clarity of mind, self-awareness, and a deeper connection with your inner wisdom. Dedicate time each day to quieting the mind and nurturing self-love, creating a strong foundation for personal growth, inner peace, and a more fulfilling relationship with yourself.
Remember that the journey of self-love is a continuous process, and meditation serves as a valuable tool to support you along the way. Be patient and gentle with yourself as you cultivate inner stillness and nurture self-love through your daily meditation practice. By quietening the mind, we can align ourselves with the natural flow of the universe and experience profound self-acceptance.
Through the practice of cultivating inner stillness, we can tap into our true essence, embracing the present moment and connecting with the wisdom of the Tao. As we mentioned at the beginning, this video is sponsored by Brilliant. org.
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