Stepdaughter Chose To Support Her Dad Even After He had An Affair Bcuz at End Of The Day He's Her...

Stepdaughter chose to support her dad even after he had an affair because, at the end of the day, he's her real family. So, I showed the same energy by stopping to pay for her college. I married my husband, David, 12 years ago.

David and I first met completely by chance at a coffee shop; we struck up a conversation, and I was immediately drawn to him. There was something about his charm, his easy smile, and the way he carried himself that caught my attention. He was cute, sure, but there was more to it—an underlying warmth that made me want to know him better.

As we began to spend more time together, I found myself really enjoying his company. We went on several dates, maybe five or six, and each time I felt like I was getting to know someone truly special. But then, during one of our dates, David revealed something that he had kept hidden until then: he was a single father.

I was completely taken aback. Up until that moment, there had been no indication, no clue that he had a child. I was confused and a bit taken aback; I wondered why he hadn't told me earlier, why he hadn't felt comfortable sharing such an important part of his life.

He explained that he had been hesitant to bring it up because, in the past, whenever he did, women would often walk out on him before giving him a chance. They couldn't handle the idea of dating a man with a child, and so he had started to keep that part of his life a secret, at least until he felt the time was right. I couldn't help but feel offended by this; to me, being a parent was nothing to be ashamed of, and hiding something so significant felt wrong.

I told him how I felt—that he had no right to keep something so vital from me and that it wasn't fair to either of us. I wanted to know who he really was, and that included knowing about his daughter. David apologized, and I could see that he genuinely regretted not telling me sooner.

It was clear that this was something he had struggled with, and I appreciated his honesty at that moment. Eventually, he introduced me to his daughter, Carrie. Before meeting David, I had never dated a single father before, and to be honest, I didn't particularly like kids, so I was a bit nervous about meeting his daughter.

It wasn't that I disliked children, but I had just never really connected with them or spent much time around them. But when I met Carrie, I was pleasantly surprised. There was a purity in her that was impossible to ignore, and as I got to know her, I found myself caring for her in a way I hadn't expected.

Carrie's mother had left when she was quite young, and ever since, David had been raising her all on his own. It was clear to me from the beginning how much he loved her and how dedicated he was to being both a father and a mother to her. He had done everything he could to fill both roles, but I could also see that there was a part of Carrie that was missing—something, a female figure, in her life.

Carrie was immediately intrigued by me. I could tell that she was curious, maybe even hopeful about what role I might play in her life. Despite my initial nerves, Carrie was such a sweet and open-hearted child, and it was hard not to be drawn in by her warmth and innocence.

I was nervous, though; forming a connection with Carrie felt like a big and more permanent step, and I didn't want to rush into anything, especially since my relationship with David was still relatively new. But David, sensing my hesitation, was incredibly understanding. He assured me that there was no pressure and that we could take things at our own pace.

He wanted me to feel comfortable, and he also wanted to make sure that Carrie felt secure and happy. Fortunately, everything worked out better than I could have hoped. As our relationship continued, I began to see that I wasn't just dating David; I was becoming part of their family.

The three of us just fit together in a way that felt natural and right. It all just happened organically. We started spending more and more time together, and before I knew it, our one-on-one dates had transformed into family dates.

The three of us would go out for dinner, visit parks, or just spend cozy evenings at home watching a movie. What surprised me most was that I didn't really miss the traditional couple time because I genuinely loved spending time with Carrie. She added something special to our relationship, and it just felt more fulfilling.

A year after dating, David and I decided to take the next big step and move in together. We had already grown so close, and the idea of sharing a home felt right for us. I was very clear from the beginning about how I wanted to handle our finances: I would contribute my share of the rent and bills, while David would take care of his portion, along with all of Carrie's expenses.

This arrangement felt fair and allowed us both to manage our responsibilities without adding any unnecessary pressure. Once we moved in together, we naturally fell into a routine that worked well for all of us. The house quickly began to feel like a home, with the three of us settling into our new roles.

During this time, David's work sometimes required him to put in extra hours. Before I moved in, he would have to hire a babysitter for Carrie, which, of course, added to his expenses. But now that I was living with them, I was able to step in and take care of Carrie whenever he needed to work late.

Care of Carrie, whenever David had to work late, which not only saved him money but also allowed Carrie and me to spend even more time together. As time went on, things between David and me continued to go wonderfully, so when David proposed to me, I didn't hesitate for a second before saying yes. I knew in my heart that this was exactly where I was meant to be; I had found a family with David and Carrie, and I genuinely believed that we were building something that would last forever.

Both of our families were overjoyed when David and I announced our engagement. However, David's mother, Sheila, reached out to me a few days before our wedding, asking to have a private conversation with me. I agreed, thinking it might be a bonding moment or perhaps some last-minute advice before I officially became part of their family, but the conversation didn't go quite as I expected.

Sheila began by telling me how happy she was for David and Carrie, but then she explained that now that I was going to become a wife, it was important for me to understand my new role. According to her, a good wife should always put her husband's and child's needs before her own. She emphasized that this was a key part of her culture and that it was essential for a successful marriage.

I was taken aback by her words. While I respected her perspective and understood that different cultures have different views on marriage, I also felt strongly about the partnership David and I had built. We had spent a lot of time discussing our roles and expectations, and we both believed in a marriage that was based on equality, mutual respect, and shared responsibilities.

I felt it was important to stand up for what I believed in, so I told Sheila that these were modern times and that David and I had already had plenty of conversations about how we wanted to navigate our marriage. I assured her that she didn't have anything to worry about because we were on the same page. Unfortunately, my response didn't sit well with Sheila.

She seemed to take offense at what I said and asked me not to talk back to her since she was now going to become my mother-in-law. Sheila firmly told me that I should respect her wisdom and experience, insisting that she knew what was best for her son and her grandchild. I could see that the conversation wasn't going anywhere productive, so I tried to remain polite, but inside I was feeling a mix of frustration and disappointment.

Later that day, I told David what had happened. I wasn't sure how he would react, but he became furious. He felt that his mother had clearly overstepped her boundaries by trying to impose her beliefs on me, especially right before our wedding.

Without hesitation, he called his mother and confronted her about the conversation. Sheila tried to downplay the situation, saying that she was just concerned and wanted to make sure everything would be okay since I didn't come from their culture. But David wasn't having any of it; he made it clear that he and I were the ones deciding how our marriage would work, and he warned her to stay out of it.

I could tell that this exchange likely angered Sheila even more. She had been clearly trying to assert her authority and influence over our relationship, and now David was firmly pushing back. While I appreciated David standing up for me and for our relationship, I couldn't shake the feeling that this might have deepened the divide between Sheila and me.

The last thing I wanted was to cause tension within David's family, especially so close to our wedding. During the wedding, it became painfully clear that Sheila still held a grudge against us. While most of our guests were full of joy and congratulations, Sheila didn't offer any congratulations, and when it came time for the photographer to capture the family photos, she outright refused to participate.

David, however, seemed unfazed by his mother's behavior. I suppose he had grown accustomed to her occasional tantrums and had learned to ignore them. Throughout the day, he didn't let her mood affect him, and he focused on enjoying our special day.

I admired his ability to stay calm and keep his focus on what really mattered, but I couldn't help but feel a bit bad for Sheila. Despite everything, she was David's mother, and I knew this day was significant for her too, even if she wasn't showing it in the way we might have hoped. At one point, I decided to approach Sheila and try to smooth things over.

I didn't want this lingering tension to cast a shadow over our relationship, but when I approached her, hoping for at least a civil conversation, she immediately shut me down. She told me in no uncertain terms that this situation was my fault, accusing me of creating a rift between her and David. Her words were harsh and left little room for reconciliation.

At that moment, I realized that there was nothing more I could do. I had tried to extend an olive branch, but she wasn't ready to accept it, so I left it at that. Despite Sheila's behavior, the rest of the wedding went incredibly well.

One of the most beautiful moments of the day was seeing Carrie take part in our celebration. She was our flower girl, and she was absolutely radiant as she walked down the aisle, scattering petals with a bright smile on her face. For the past 12 years since I married David, I've been as much of a parent to my stepdaughter, Carrie, as he has.

I've been there for her in every way a parent could be, from attending her school events to inviting her friends over for a sleepover. Since getting married, I've. .

. Never thought twice about contributing financially to her upbringing either, whether it was paying for her school expenses or funding our family vacations, like our yearly trips to Disney or other places we've traveled together. Given that I earned significantly more than David, it just made sense for me to take on these responsibilities, and I did so gladly because I saw Carrie as my own.

However, life changed when, two years ago, David lost his job suddenly when his company laid off a significant number of workers. It was a tough blow for him, and he was understandably upset. As his partner, I wanted to support him through this difficult time.

I assured him that we were in this together and that he didn't have to worry about our finances. I took over all our household expenses, including the mortgage, bills, groceries, and everything else, while David focused on finding a new job. At first, David threw himself into the job search, but with every rejection, his frustration and feelings of defeat grew.

It was painful to watch him struggle, and I did my best to be there for him, offering encouragement and reminding him that setbacks were a part of life. However, as the rejections piled up, David began to withdraw more and more. He started spending a lot of time in our basement, which he had converted into his man cave.

What initially seemed like a way for him to unwind and distract himself from the stress of job hunting soon turned into something more concerning. David began spending night after night playing video games, sometimes until the early hours of the morning. He wasn't helping with chores, and more worryingly, he seemed to distance himself from Carrie.

He stopped checking in on her, something that had always been so important to him as a father. During the day, David would sleep in late, often until the afternoon, and when he was awake, he was either gaming or simply seemed detached from everything happening around him. The vibrant, active partner and father I had known was fading away, replaced by someone who seemed lost in his own world.

It was heartbreaking to see this change in him. I tried talking to David about my concerns, expressing how much I missed the way things used to be and how worried I was about him. I reminded him that we were a team and that I needed him to be present, not just for me, but for Carrie too.

However, these conversations didn't seem to have much of an impact. He would often dismiss my concerns or promise to change, but nothing ever really improved. It was a challenging time for me, balancing my full-time job, managing the household, and trying to be there for Carrie, all while feeling increasingly isolated in my marriage.

I still loved David deeply, but I couldn't ignore the strain his behavior was putting on our family. I kept hoping that things would get better, that he would find a job or at least regain some of his old self, but as the days turned into months, that hope began to wane. Despite everything, I tried to stay strong for Carrie's sake.

She deserved a stable, loving home, and I was determined to provide that for her, even if it meant shouldering more of the burden myself. I foolishly thought life would go back to normal as soon as David found a job. So imagine my shock when I accidentally discovered that my husband had been having an affair for the past one and a half years.

It all began when I asked David to take Carrie to her dentist appointment. She was soon going to be moving out to college, so she wanted to get her teeth checked because of her braces. Normally, I took her to all her appointments, but this day I was already feeling unwell and had spent the entire day cleaning the house, washing dishes, and cooking for all of us.

I was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. However, David immediately threw a fit, complaining and telling me to take her instead. I put my foot down, insisting that he needed to get his ass off the couch and take his daughter to the appointment.

After a lot of back and forth, he begrudgingly agreed, but not before calling me a nagger, since, according to him, I was always bothering him about everything. His words stung, but I tried to stay calm, not wanting to escalate the situation any further. After they left, I decided to make use of the quiet time by cleaning up the basement, which had been neglected for months.

David rarely allowed me to go down there, always saying that it was his space and that he would clean it up himself. But given how things had been, I knew the basement would be a mess, and I figured it was long overdue for a good cleaning. As I started tidying up, I suddenly heard a phone ring.

I hadn't realized that David had left his phone behind. It was strange because he never went anywhere without it and always kept it in his pocket. I ignored the first call, assuming it wasn't important, but then the phone rang again.

Curious, I picked it up and saw that the caller was a woman whose name I didn't recognize. My heart skipped a beat; David didn't have any female friends that I knew of, especially since he had been jobless for a while. A part of me tried to rationalize it, thinking maybe it was a call about a job application, but then the phone stopped ringing, and his phone started receiving text messages from this woman.

The first one read, "Hey, are you up? " My blood ran cold as I stared at the screen, trying to process what I was seeing. Then another message came through: "Babe, can you send me.

. . " $150 for my nail appointment.

At that moment, everything came crashing down around me. The messages left no room for misinterpretation; my husband was clearly involved with this woman. Otherwise, she would not have called him "babe" or asked him to send money.

I felt as though the ground had been ripped out from under me. My mind raced as I tried to piece together all the signs I had missed: his increased irritability, the long hours he spent in the basement, his detachment from me and Carrie. It all started to make sense.

The man I had loved and supported for years, the man I had stood by through thick and thin, had been betraying me behind my back. I had sacrificed so much for our family—working extra hours, managing all the household expenses, and caring for Carrie—only to find out that he had been living a double life. I didn't know what to do next.

Should I confront him right away? Should I wait and gather more evidence? Should I call someone for support?

As I was standing there in the basement, still reeling from the shock of discovering those text messages, I suddenly heard the front door open. My heart raced as I realized David had come back, and I knew I needed to act fast. Without thinking, I quickly put his phone back exactly where I had found it and tried to compose myself.

I forced myself to continue cleaning, pretending nothing was wrong, though inside I was barely holding it together. David came running down the stairs, looking surprised to see me there. His eyes narrowed slightly as he asked, "What are you doing down here?

" I could feel his suspicion, but I managed to keep my voice steady as I casually replied that I was just cleaning up since the place was pretty messy. I tried to sound as nonchalant as possible. For a moment, he looked at me closely, as if trying to gauge whether I knew something, but I kept my expression neutral so he didn't suspect anything.

He told me he had forgotten his phone and had to rush back home to grab it before taking Carrie to her appointment. He then hurried back upstairs without another word. I waited in silence, listening to his footsteps as he made his way out of the house.

I waited with bated breath until I heard the front door closing behind him before I burst out crying onto the basement floor. The realization that David had driven all the way back home just so he could continue hiding his affair from me was too much to bear. I cried for everything I had lost in that moment: the trust I had in my husband, the belief that we were a team, and the love that I thought was unbreakable.

It was clear now that David knew exactly what he was doing, and he was going to great lengths to keep his secret hidden from me. I couldn't believe how foolishly I had stood by him all these years, taking care of him and his daughter while he was happily sending money to his affair partner. I had sacrificed so much for our family, and here he was using the money I earned to support someone else.

The realization of how deeply he had betrayed me—not just emotionally, but financially as well—fueled a burning anger inside me. The next morning, I woke up feeling determined. I wasn't going to let David continue to take advantage of me; he needed to face the consequences of his actions.

I decided to reach out to my close friend, who happens to be a lawyer. I told her everything: how I had accidentally discovered the affair, how long it had been going on, and how he had been secretly supporting this other woman while neglecting his responsibilities at home. My friend was both shocked and sympathetic.

She advised me that the first thing I needed to do was gather solid evidence of the affair. This evidence would be crucial if I decided to move forward with a divorce, especially since I had been the primary breadwinner and had taken on most of the financial responsibilities. With this evidence, I could protect myself and ensure that David wouldn't get away with what he had done.

For the next few days, I tried to get my hands on his phone again, but David seemed more careful now. He kept it close, never leaving it unattended. Frustrated, I started thinking of other ways to gather the evidence I needed.

That's when I remembered his laptop. David had an iCloud account, and I realized that his text messages would be synced there as well. Since he rarely used his laptop anymore, it was likely he wouldn't think twice about me using it.

I decided to make up an excuse. I told David that my laptop wasn't working properly and that I needed to borrow his for some urgent work. I was nervous as I made the request, but to my relief, he didn't seem suspicious—perhaps he didn't realize how much information was stored on his laptop, or maybe he was just too comfortable in his deception to think I would investigate anything on his laptop.

Either way, he agreed and handed over the laptop without much hesitation. With his laptop, I knew this was my chance to uncover the full extent of his affair. Thankfully, he was still logged into his iCloud account; hence, I could read all his messages.

Now my heart pounded as I read through the conversations between David and his affair partner. Their messages were filled with endearments, inappropriate pictures, and, most infuriatingly, proof of the money David had been sending her. She'd been asking for money for things like nail appointments, gifts, and even a vacation, and David had been giving it to her, using money that should have been for.

. . Our family.

The more I read, the angrier I became. I saved all the messages, taking screenshots and storing them on my phone. I knew this evidence would be crucial when the time came to confront him and, ultimately, to take legal action.

The very next day, armed with all the evidence I had gathered, I went to my friend. She reviewed everything, and after going through it all, she confirmed that the evidence was solid. With that assurance, she told me that I was in a strong position to move forward with my plan to divorce David.

My heart ached for Carrie, knowing how much this decision would affect her. My friend, however, reminded me that the truth was important, especially for Carrie. I had been a significant part of her life for so many years, and she deserved to know the truth about her father's actions.

That night during dinner, as we all sat around the table, I confronted David. I laid out all the evidence I had gathered: the text messages, the screenshots, the records of the money transfers. His face went pale as he realized the extent of what I knew.

At first, he tried to gaslight me, denying everything and accusing me of misinterpreting the situation, but with the irrefutable proof in front of him, there was no escape. Carrie looked completely shocked by this revelation. She turned to her father and asked him directly if it was true.

That was when David broke down and accepted the affair. He started apologizing, saying it was just a slip of the moment and that he didn't mean for any of it to happen, and begged me to forgive him. I pointed out how he had the nerve to send money to this woman and treat her like a sugar baby while he hadn't been contributing anything to our household for the past two years.

I was the one paying the bills, taking care of Carrie, managing the house, and supporting him through his job loss—all while he was shamelessly having fun with this woman. David tried to justify his actions, saying that since he was out of work, I had made him feel emasculated and claimed that he never felt like a man around the house anymore. I couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of his accusation.

I told him that he needed to stop blaming his insecurities on me. His affair was a choice; he had chosen to get involved with this woman. I informed him that I was done supporting a loser like him and that I would be leaving him.

The look of shock on his face was almost pitiful. It was clear that he hadn't expected me to actually divorce him. Perhaps he had assumed that I would forgive him and we would somehow move on.

He begged me to give him another chance and promised me that he would end everything with the other woman. However, I just didn't care any longer. Long story short, I've since moved out and already hired a reputable divorce lawyer recommended by my friend.

His family has reached out to me multiple times during this time, asking me to forgive him. I've been indifferent to their pleas until recently, when I had a conversation with Carrie. I thought she was calling me because she missed me; however, she told me how disappointed she was in me for giving up on her and her dad so quickly.

I was taken aback and told her that it was her dad who gave up on our marriage when he decided to cheat, and that I couldn't stay with him any longer. I reassured her that I would always be in her life regardless of our divorce, as I consider her like my own child. However, Carrie responded coldly, saying that if I went through with my decision to divorce, then she would cut me off because she wanted to support her dad since he was her real family.

This has really pissed me off. **Update One:** Hi everyone, thank you for all your responses. I want to clarify that I never expected Carrie to choose sides.

I assumed that since I had raised her for so long, she would want me to remain a part of her life even after the divorce. Clearly, I was mistaken. I've sacrificed enough for this family already; it's time for me to focus on myself now.

I'm moving forward with the divorce proceedings as planned. **Update Two:** It's been a few weeks since I last updated. After Carrie made it clear that she would cut me off if I divorced her dad, I decided not to argue with her any further.

I instructed my lawyer to inform David's lawyer that since I had already paid for the first semester of his daughter's college, he should consider it a final gift from me for being part of her life. For the remaining semesters, he shouldn't expect any further financial support from me. I know very well that David will not be able to afford the expenses, so I am hoping he helps out his daughter by applying for a loan as soon as possible.

However, since then, both David and his mother, Sheila, have been sending me messages, calling me names and accusing me of being selfish for cutting off Carrie's college expenses. They claimed that this wasn't Carrie's fault, so I should not punish her by cutting off her college. They argued that I should show some sympathy by continuing to pay for her education until she graduates.

Sheila even went as far as to tell me how she always knew that I was never good enough for her son since a good wife would have chosen to forgive instead of leaving her husband for such a silly mistake. She also claimed that this was. .

. The reason why I could never fully be a part of the family is that no other woman would have walked out of her marriage so quickly. As much as their messages infuriate me, I have chosen not to respond to them, as advised by my lawyer.

Update 3: It’s been 8 months since I last updated. I wanted to let everyone know that I finally finalized my divorce from David. Since we didn't have kids or shared property, the proceedings were relatively straightforward.

David was ordered to pay me alimony due to his affair. I haven't spoken to Carrie in the past few months. While it saddens me to even think about her, I understand that she needs to support her dad right now.