How To Reprogram NEGATIVE THOUGHTS and Emotions | GAME CHANGING podcast with Peter Crone | AMP

to the degree that you want something is the degree you're afraid of not having yeah god i wish i started when i was younger i go yeah but you didn't so shut the [ __ ] up let's keep going nobody changes until they change their energy and when you change your energy you change your life because it's not till then that it's really real it's like oh this is way worse than i thought oh yeah it's way way worse than you thought yeah but luckily there's more to you than you think [Music] peter chrome my

man we're back we are [ __ ] back setting the record for frequency in a podcast because man it's just so good to talk to you well thank you sir it's the three-peat i feel like we're like the 98 bulls we're like the the last stance it's the then we get to do another one and come back no that was the but that would be the 93 is it 93 yeah i think it's 93 we're the 93 bulls now we're in the 96 but we're gonna we're gonna take this championship home oh no six seven

eight you're right yeah that's the beginning wait no no no star wars star wars is what's worse fellowship of the ring right right we're there i'm not going to comment on this this is the worst start to a three-quarter that we've ever had but we're going to get right into it man because what i want to talk to you about is when you really look out in the world i think one of the challenges that people have is they think that there's only pleasure and there's only a good feeling associated with the positive things that

people associate in their mind so love feels good and you know compassion feels good and all these things feel good and people are very identified with these positive emotions but if the other stuff didn't have some dark twisted pleasure yeah the feeling of oppressing somebody it has a certain signature of pleasure to the ego the feeling of being angry at something at someone like the buddhists call that the initial urge that hook the shempah this rise of emotion this feeling and there's this kind of ejaculatory release that comes from destruction and anger and all of

these negative emotions and that's not just projected out to other people there is this kind of twisted pleasure to actually desecrating the self and i think people are really unaware that a lot of times we're choosing these things because in some twisted way like it feels good to do these bad things it feels good to oppress ourselves it feels good to hurt ourselves in a weird interesting way that's been being supported by the universal polarity of that kind of dark destructive energy that's out in the world and also within us yeah you lost me at

ejaculatory pleasure and that was on the back of the fellowship of the ring so i mean i'm not sure why i'm here today but i feel like i'm being set up um could you ask the question again no i mean listen there is there's the gamut of emotions there's a gamut of experiences and we could say that there is a certain addiction to all of it but i would say that the if there is a correlation between having some sense of um association with more of the negative feelings it's just the justification of one's perspective

that's all it is right so if somebody is drawn to enjoying we could say those darker emotions all i hear in that is that they get to be right about their own view of themselves so that so the pleasure in that is that they're reinforcing some aspect of rightness about and justification for why they're doing it yeah it's not so much the attachment to the emotion because that vibratory state isn't necessarily pleasurable like objectively but it is the payoff and the justification that i how i see myself and how i define myself just got uh

sort of it was reinforced yeah yeah so it's it's just that it's it's so basic when you look at it but the ego's primary goal is just to be right about its own perspective so this is where you know when people will say things like i knew that would happen or that always happens to me that's no longer like an objective analysis of the unfolding of life that's a subjective narrative that is constantly reinforcing its own perspective that's all it is yeah and that's and therein therein lies that kernel of pleasure the pleasure of the

ego being right the pleasure of the ones serving what one believes to be justice this this person is unworthy so they deserve to be oppressed because i'm right and it creates that superiority it's not the actual doing it or i'm right about this thing i'm the one who's punishing myself and i deserve this punishment yeah and so it's it's not the feeling of punishment because ostensibly yes that is a shitty feeling but somewhere woven in is this little thread of the ego being able to say aha yeah yeah the way i can the way i

categorize it is you know i use a lot of quotes and distinctions i say you know being right is the poor man's version of self-worth yeah right so if you really get that it's like recognizing wow i might not get what i want but i'm right about it so i'll watch my life go to [ __ ] and i'll sabotage and it's all these deleterious events that are unfolding but nonetheless i can stand in my self-righteousness which is where i have the ultimate sense of power and control even in the face of my own demise

which is just that's how you see how mad like when i've done this for three decades now that was the one thing that i was like constantly blown away by is that people would rather absolutely sabotage their lives but be right about it what yeah what an amazing draw to be right like how deeply ingrained is that in the human psyche this desire to be right like where do you where do you track that foundation why is it that the ego so desperately craves to be right that they're willing to subject self and others to

a veritable hell in order to be right well because what happens to it if it's not right well then you have your own reevaluation of who you are i suppose yeah which we could call what oh i'm turning the tables i like this yeah well all right so in that re-evaluation it's a loss of identity it's a loss so because you're smart like so beyond loss of identity what's the late way of saying that it's a loss of lack of self-love based upon the predication of being right it being you know the necessity for being

worthy of love and having worth like you're saying yeah but again like let's keep it real basic in the absence or the loss of identity what is that what's actually occurring the loss of something what's another word for that and it's a topic of conversation right now around the world yeah and in a way that's when so if you look at that like the ego is a fixed structure it doesn't just change it must die and then the new one must be born it's the it's the phoenix so it's not i guess it's then looking

at this isn't just a modification you're not just saying oh my self has shifted slightly that fixed understanding of self dies death and then something new has to emerge and we don't have faith that will that the new thing that will emerge is is going to emerge or it's the part of us that is in that fixed identity that just is desperately clinging to the life of the construct that we've created yeah and so so again to come full you know circle to why you ask your question of why it has to be right because

by its nature it's fictitious it's illusory so without having any sort of evidence or self-reaffirming kind of conversation which is that self-righteousness then it dissipates and so who wants to die right but this is the beauty i mean we've gone right into the depth of my work here which is the annihilation or the disintegration the dissolution of the idea of ourselves which is emancipation and liberation but that's the old adage of how do you pick yourself up by your bootstraps like the eye that's looking for enlightenment is the very obstacle to enlightenment right yeah so

the eye that is wanting to be right about its own identity is by design based in inadequacy insecurity scarcity that's its structure but it's always right about it so then it's always perpetuating its own existence because it has to because it's illusory yeah it's the ultimate smoking mirror but people don't understand that what they want in their life is to be found on the other side of the constraints of their own idea of themselves yeah that's a really good way to understand this actually because you know recently myself and my lovely wife we had a

trivial disagreement that we both decided through our own unconscious processes we were going to drag out into a day-long affair in which we took some space and yeah you know we're both pretending that we didn't want to be right because that was our identity of ourself well i'm not the one that wants to be right i don't care about that but nonetheless we were still trying to be right in our own in our own ways and we drug this out and at the end of it you know we were laughing and saying what is it

do we have just a hell fetish do we have a fetish to put ourselves in this hell yeah but really it perhaps wasn't a hell fetish we weren't attracted to you know these feelings of separation these negative feelings what we were attracted what we were fighting for was the construct of our self which we believed was right which we did not want to sacrifice to the altar of the truth and let it die so that the new one could emerge yeah which is why most relationships don't work because people aren't in a relationship with the

other person they're in a relationship with their own idea of themselves and it's a self-preserving mechanism so as long as you behave in the way that i like you to behave then we get along fine if you don't then this relationship is on the rocks which is really i if you really get it is it actually not a relationship with anyone else but your own fictitious idea of yourself which is why most people can be married or in a relationship yet they still feel lonely yeah because you're not actually related to other people or life

itself because you're looking through a lens that is all about adaptation to survival and so in that like trivial i thought it was very politely just trivial but like you know whatever the disagreement was there's really what's happening if we call it what it is it's just two children who are sulking yeah absolutely that's all that's happening absolutely you're both hurt and it's okay you need a timeout you know you didn't get the toy you've wanted this ice cream and daddy said no and you know and that's what happened right that's just calling what it

is you know and so you've got two adults who love each other but they're being driven by these inner children who just got butt hurt yeah we're back to the fellowship of the ring how did the fellowship of the ring become a euphemism for sodomy i don't know how that like so that's all that's ever that's ever transpiring in a relationship that's not working or is dysfunctional is the part of me that is on the precipice of being hurt at any given moment if you don't behave in accordance with my the world according to me

you know that's that's the trigger but that is also the the access to liberation because if you can look at okay do i want to be right or do i want to love my wife and at that time you wanted to be right which is fine but it's a very powerless place to be and self-defeating radically self-defeating yeah that's the self-sabotage i was talking about earlier it's like well that's super inspiring you were right about whatever inadequacy and we just totally thrust ourselves into hell yeah and then ultimately realized how foolish we both were the

whole time but it just took a long time so but this is very this is very much at the forefront of people's resistance to change at all change for the bet it's not just it's not just acknowledging when we're wrong causing the death but it could be even growth on the positive sense still requires a death of the self that exists the construct that exists in the ego self if that's going to change for the positive you still have to be willing to die and if you're identified with the eye that's at this fixed plane

even if you're going to an elevated plane and an evolution upwards even still that part has to die and that part is going to be resistant to death just like every single organism on the planet pushes against death yeah and because the primordial intention of any organism is to survive so that's why there's so much resistance but that resistance is the precursor to dis-ease right the holding you can feel it right the holding in that moment you were not talking to the person you love perhaps arguably the most or that's your declaration and yet you

are in this isolation chamber where you you are resisting what is actually trying to be born here which is forgiveness and apology you know your humanity it's okay like it's not like you're supposed to be walking around like with white light coming through your genitals because this person is in constant peace you know but can you make space for the part of you that gets hurt can you make space for the part of you that's scared it's okay so that primordial urge to be right to survive is ironically that is the death of possibility and

so really my work speaks to the constant dying of one's idea of oneself such that you can actually be born anew yeah it's no different to the snake that sheds its skin it's no different to our physiology i mean we've been sitting here for 15 minutes we both have different bodies but we don't look at it like that right because cells are dying thank god you know and the new ones are being born but if we can take that same physical understanding the principle of expansion and evolution itself and apply it to the idea of

myself now you're i mean that's a powerful trajectory to be on yeah it requires a shift of identification there's a quote from heraclitus no man steps in the same river for he's not the same man and it's not the same river exactly yeah so if we understand that we're this we're this being that's in flux rather than the fixed identity of which the ego wants to cling to like that's the shift in identity and then at that point there's even that other escalation of that shift to being the unborn undying essence of consciousness that's embodied

in a form that's constantly changing if we identify with that these deaths and rebirths are actually fluid and smooth and all the corners that were jagged and and sharp become rounded and smooth and it becomes an actual flow yeah did you notice what just happened i felt better no well i just died in front of you i just wasn't sure if you're aware of it but i'm back it's okay yeah yeah and then i'll probably keep doing it a few times yeah but even in that even in the expression of it it feels it feels

like yeah like that's it yeah that's relief it's like in in uh hindu um scriptures they they describe death as like taking off a tight shoe right like so every woman can speak to that you know at the end of a big night where she's wearing a heels like the relief of that constraint it's like ah and so that really is just this ongoing opportunity if you're willing to reconcile and mitigate all of these beliefs of who you are to step into a different iteration of yourself that is more expanded that's a that to me

is a life worth living yeah it seems as you know many people on the journey as they get older the longer they've stayed in a fixed identity the more resist it's like the more energy has accumulated towards and around the fixed self like the fixed self has attracted more volume more gravity more mass more construct it's actually more alive yeah you know in a fixed state and so they're even more resistant to change more you know worried about a psychedelic journey that might you know cause a death or even a reevaluation of ideas or you

know re-evaluating their political opinions or any other any id anything they really push against because they have so much gravity and energy associated with the fixed self of the ego there's so much uh invest invested right yeah there's so much evidence and that's hard to give up i mean i see this when i work with my athletes who are in transition from being a pro performing athlete who's under the lights to somebody who's retiring and quote unquote a relative no name nothing's actually happened in the actual the physics of a human being performing over here

and then maybe being more of a stay-at-home dad but in the psychology of how he or she views themselves as no longer of the same worth or the same value that's i mean that's devastating to the the ego that desperately is holding on to an image of like past success and this is what we see also i think with menopause and you know tends to be around that age where a lot of the kids leave the nest and the mother has lost her sense of worth she hasn't actually lost it it's perceived you know because

there was this i had a position of service that gave me some value and now it's like what do i do with myself and there can be this depression because there isn't this sense of contribution to something which we're all designed to want to have so it's i mean this this topic i didn't know this is where we're gonna go today but it's just i love it like i love death i mean it's one of my favorite topics to speak to because it is inextricably connected to aliveness you know and yet right now everybody's desperately

trying to avoid it and as you were saying earlier those who hold on the most furiously to their identity become the most rigid in life both physiologically emotionally and psychologically we see this as people grow old they become sort of very stuck in their ways like physically and then they become very stubborn in their opinions all that is is just the callousing of a narrative that was first of all unconsciously created as a reaction to any sort of external fears and threats that then was a mechanism to try and preserve oneself and they're still in

the bunker of their own narrative wondering why they don't feel vitality and joy and love and intimacy with people so it's like uh you know those old etch-a-sketches with the little knobs that create a little thing it feels like the more time we spend on the little knobs creating our little creation before there because there comes a shake which shakes it and allows us to recreate ourselves yeah you know the more attached we are to our little you know geometric design we created making little right and left turns and building this thing yeah what is

what is your mechanism besides just downloading the advice like do you have a mechanism for helping people just [ __ ] shake the edges that's what i do i get them to stand up and wiggle take the [ __ ] out of them you just see all these pixels fall down i'm like how are you feeling they're like oh my god i don't know who i am but i feel so free um i no i mean there is a mechanism and to what degree it's just intuited now i mean i just listened to somebody's story

we i mean we've done it a couple of times with you you know on air which has been beautiful where i just listened to someone's story so i can hear what someone's telling me and i know it's not who they are because i know who they are right so i just i'm listening for the pretense i'm listening for the illusory idea of myself and the story of woe that belongs to their their vision of who they are so if i can just very gently you know with some sort of white gloves on carefully take them

back to the idea of themselves it has them believe that they have a problem the symptom of woe and then just investigate the validity of that idea then they're like oh wait a minute no i'm not like not good enough or no i'm not like uh not loved but i've got the evidence for when my dad said this or my mom did this or whatever so once we uncover that subconscious dialogue see it for what it is which is it's it's a falsehood then whatever they thought was their problem which only exists by virtue of

that narrative that just dissolves so instead of trying to solve anxiety i don't deal with anxiety i don't deal with depression i don't deal with addiction i don't deal with financial relationship problems these are all symptomatic these are all access points for me to be able to go oh hang on a minute if you have x problem then what that reveals for me in the way that i listen is that you must have a deeper conversation about how you view yourself and that's where you're confined people go through life as prisoners of their mind the

only prison the only prison anyone lives in is their own perspective their own point of view and if you can crack that there is no greater gift there's no greater sense of liberation and freedom than to be able to help somebody see the prison they live within that they superimpose on to circumstance but really as a reflection of the conversation they've had inside of them usually for decades and to break that apart that's recoding that really is the ultimate emancipation of suffering absolutely so we're talking about one of the pr like primitive drives of an

entity an organism survive yeah there's another one that i've been tracking and can see it in self as well and that is to grow right like any plant you know there's a drive to grow there's a reason that the grass wants to push up from the soil the tree wants to spread its branches yeah the human wants to acquire more wealth more followers more platform more influence more like there's this drive to grow and with the human psyche when we're starting to measure that and chart that and we also like the acceleration of growth i

think that's something else we're attacked attracted to but there's going to be periods of of entropy periods where things are not going to be growing things things are going to be actually shrinking and that can be difficult for you know the the organism to handle the human to handle and i've noticed that myself like everything feels good when it's on a nice bottom left of the graph to top right of the graph chart but when you know my business you know sales were growing year after year and then we had a we had a dip

one year and i was like oh [ __ ] we're not growing anymore or that'll happen on a podcast or any other thing any other metric by which i'm measuring by yeah and i think it certainly happens to the perception of beauty or attractiveness it's like i'm getting hotter and hotter and hotter oh no i think i peaked and here goes my hair and now here goes oh here it comes like my six-pack is in there and i can't lift my so how do you help people deal with grace with that with these kind of

lulls and and even maybe even speak to that attraction to growth and then the the grace to deal with things when they're not glowing or perhaps on the decline yeah i mean i think i would use i think words is you know words are very important obviously it's the the medium i traffic in so even when you're talking about growth i would i would speak more to expansion so growth you know in ayurveda there's six stages to disease which is part of my work right the ayurvedic healing methods and so growth the first stage of

disease is accumulation so we could say a tumor grows you know because you're sort of implying that growth is good but it depends on what context so growth to me i hear is a manifest expression of something right whether it's you know your bank account oh that's good or it's a tumor that's not so good but the energy of growth is still present in both so beyond anything that's happening in the external manifest world i would look at what's occurring internally in terms of my ability to expand so that's the growth of consciousness that's the

growth of awareness that's the growth of love that's the growth of presence so it's a different form of growth that is not based on anything that by design is physical in nature so then as you see your company grow and then you see this dip and you said uh oh well that reveals you not what's going on out there right that reveals fear concern this is bad right maybe you know it's relative to what like who knows right so this is staying in that i don't know mind versus the i know mind the no is

grabbing it's holding it's stuck the i don't know is pure possibility so the more that i can step into that space of uncertainty continually is the degree to which i'm in a place of expansion and then life is just unfolding bank account goes up goes down like okay whoopty do right that can only be a concern if i have the concern it's not out there it's not it's got nothing to do with the actual numbers in you know my account it's got to do with my response to it how do i dance with that how

do i relate to that which is the revelatory nature of life you know that to me is why we're here in this paradigm it's not to make more money or you know get more status or to keep the six-pack or to keep the hair or like that it's just to what degree to all of those transactions reveal something about your own sense of fear and inadequacy that's the lie yeah it seems like and i think that really points to the key here is that we get attached to these you know fickle external metrics as a

measurement of quote growth whereas what you're talking about what's the expansion of your consciousness what's the expansion of your awareness what's the expansion of your love your heart you know your intellect all of these things which actually can and should expand barring some kind of physical injury or some you know age-related cognitive decline that's beyond your control they know that's another thing to deal with but that's not what i'm particularly talking about what i'm talking about is how we get attached to these external things which we then use as mirrors to reflect upon our own

validation when really we're looking again at the wrong thing we're not looking at the intangible essence expansion we're looking at the metric growth of something that we have attributed some value to which doesn't belong there yeah well and it it's again it's like all it is really coming back to the kids comment about the two of you it's just a security blanket you know what is that ego because one of the one of the tenants of the ego's existence is insecurity so if who i am in the way that i relate to myself is feeling

that essence of insecurity then by design a behavioral adaptation something that i pursue has got to be some security and we find security in all sorts of ways right predominantly through finance through some relativity to a person like if we have a partner if we have a company we find some sense of security but it's it's transitory it's illusory and ultimately it will dissipate so real security true security is when i can sit in the absence of needing security that's the real secure essence of who i am in the absence of anything that would would

pertain to human security because that is always going to be you know at best transitory so that is real expansion is when i when i become associated with my true nature it's no longer dependent on anything that is outside of me that's that is for me the quintessential expression of success is i'm at peace regardless of circumstance i am not at the effect of circumstance i am cause in the way that i experience myself in life regardless of what's happening around me yeah and it's a it's an absolute self-defeating prophecy because we are so good

at just assimilating and creating a tolerance and an expectation even if we are growing and let's say we're growing and growing again and we've also kind of uh you know diverted that paradigm into something more productive but even still just to show how futile this is if you're growing at a certain pace at a certain while you just expect that pace of growth so even if you're still growing but it's not at the same pace and i think we measure it in exponential terms so if you start with a thousand dollars yeah and then you

make you know get up to ten thousand dollars well that's a nine thousand dollar actual arithmetic increase but it was a 10x of your former amount of money so then it requires another 10x for you to get that same feeling so then you have to get to 100 000 and then it requires another 10x you got to get to a million and then we're talking growing by 900 000 instead of 9000 to get the same feeling yeah that you formerly had and and we get attached to this and then if that doesn't happen we we

feel this sense of disappointment because it but it's sicifian it's an and it's absolutely it's going to end at some point we're never going to be able to grow at that same exponential pace because there's a finite amount of resources if we're measuring in the finite there's a finite amount of resources in the universe at a certain point you know kanye west can't get seven billion followers you know he might get a billion but at a certain point he's gonna [ __ ] run out yeah you know and if he's attached to that rate yeah

he's [ __ ] yeah the one word i hear and i feel in the way you describe that is exhaustion yeah this is why most people are exhausted their adrenals are shot the hashimoto's all of the things that people struggle with the anxieties that the sort of deleterious effects on their physiology where they're just sort of in this process of degeneration because people are chasing the proverbial carrot in whatever form represents you know success security for them so whether he gets 7 billion or 1 billion my question would be could you be totally free and

at peace whether you had one or you know none it doesn't really matter that that again it's like we're so ingrained as human beings to think that life and success and security are all outside of us and so it's only logical that if how i feel is a byproduct of my circumstance that in order to feel good i'm under the impression that i have to control circumstance right that's just a logical extension i feel good when circumstances are good i feel bad when circumstances are bad wow well let me solve this problem i just got

to constantly control circumstance but that's why i said the word that comes to mind is exhaustion you know like that that is so tiring it's it's the metaphor or the analogy i use with all my clients is imagine you're in the middle of phoenix and it's july or it's the middle of the summer and you're in phoenix it's 120 degrees out you're driving a car it's a nice car it's got a good ac and you're under the impression that in order for you to feel comfortable you have to crank the air conditioning with the windows

rolled down because in order for me to be okay i have to make everything outside of me okay you start to see the futility of that like i'm trying to cool down the whole of arizona in order to be comfortable right right how's that working out yeah whereas i'm like encouraging people roll up the windows put on a nice little bit of like you know whatever your tuned ajour is and stick your 68 69 and life is good so that you know people it's a it's an example right it's not about oh well that's so

selfish you know but you could also invite people into your space you become a source of aspiration and inspiration right to continue the metaphor so that to me is what people are doing is they're desperately trying to control circumstances under the impression that if i get everything perfect and the way i want it then i will finally be at peace and this is why we have this one day illusion right like this isn't my life right now but wait you know i'm getting there which then creates this psychological time everything that we think we want

is out there somewhere right in the future i mean have you ever been in your future you know it's like how's that like what a ridiculous idea like no i'm going to be really happy in the future i would go okay when were you last there i mean right it's just it's nuts right so can you find the sense of like true affinity for the circumstances of your life now and recognize this is it this this this is where i'm at and the degree to which i resist that is the degree to which i suffer

and the degree to which i suffer is the degree to which i create desire which creates time and now i'm under the impression that in order to mitigate my suffering i have to be out there somewhere in the future when i get everything in order i mean talk to your doctor and have another cocktail right i mean it's like you run away people always trying to escape stuff it's like can you just be where you are and recognize you're not under threat now i'm not obviously belittling that some people truly have situations that warrant some

kind of survival right like whether it be shelter or food like that definitely exists in the world i'm speaking to most people who are at least getting food on the table they have some sort of roof over their head it doesn't have to be like the ritz and it doesn't have to be like nobu sushi you know or even or even somebody like yeah i got in a [ __ ] nasty car wreck and there was some days there where my face was on fire you know and like i of course it will feel better

in in two weeks and actually the external will affect my will affect my physical pain threshold and that will happen to any of us but yeah what we're talking about is the everyday existence in this place where we place our salvation in the external world and think that that's going to influence the internal and it's it's not the case like what what you're what you're teaching what i'm supporting what you know joe dispenza who i talked to yesterday what we're all talking about is the sovereignty of our internal landscape and reclaiming it's the same thing

that victor frankl was talking about yeah you know 70 80 years ago right you know the last of the human freedoms is the ability to control one's internal circumstances yeah right yeah and it's and again this is where there's a lot of compassion because until you're aware of those mechanisms people talk about choice and oh it's up to you it's how you react well you know did you have choice in this trivial disagreement you know with your wife i mean there's figurative choice and there's literal choice i would say at that moment you had no

choice you were just being driven by the mechanisms of the narratives that drive you and the way that you try to preserve your own identity and be right about it like that but that warrants compassion and forgiveness now post-trivial disagreement you can start to have a conversation and a dialogue about and go wow what was that i got hurt because of whatever she did or said and vice versa where does that come from what was what was i actually in interpreting that event or those words to mean about my own preservation because it's always a

perceived threat that's all it is it's a perceived threat to what to your identity that is desperately trying to hold on to whatever it thinks is right about life and how she should or life should act right so that's post but when you're in it that it does warrant compassion and forgiveness because you're being driven by a pattern it's not a it's not a powerful choice no one's going oh like in five minutes i can't wait to get anxious yeah you know that would be somewhat conscious like anxiety arises because you have a dance and

an interaction with the way that life is unfolding that is unconscious and for that reason we want to bring i feel the eternal maternal energy of love to hold someone when you fall over and you have a boo-boo you got her in this argument you know what you're really looking for is to be held to be cradle it's okay come here honey it's okay then we can sort of bring in the paternal and like okay well what actually happened there like you didn't get stabbed like but you kind of acted like you did you know

yeah right the metaphor of a brick in a house like i talk about you throw you know brick into the ocean you're gonna get precisely based on the laws of physics the splash and the sound that is totally in correlation with the size and the speed and the weight of the brick you throw a house into the ocean equally the same principles of physics apply right the same it'll be a bigger splash or be a bigger sound most people react to life like a brick comes at them but they react like it's a house right

so now you have no longer you you're you've lost your relationship to the actual unfolding objectively of life and you're actually revealing where am i under some sort of duress because i feel my identity is under threat that's where the work of liberation and to go back to my point about expansion that's where it lies somebody who's very very tight psychologically it doesn't take much to piss them off because they don't have any threshold right and that's why one of my questions is can i be with this is an expression i use for myself what

is happening what did they say what news did i get can i be with this what does that mean can i stay centered and at peace regardless now i'm still human i'm still a work in progress there might be certain things that trigger but to me i don't see it as something to be defensive about i see it as an opportunity for more awareness oh wow why why was that something that i got a little bit triggered by that's the opportunity and it's a different reframe instead of trying to control that make them wrong tell

them to go [ __ ] themselves or whatever it is that we do when we feel threatened it's like okay why in the the infinite power of my true essence do i feel so scared in this situation because that's not me that's a lie thinking that i'm not okay with what happened or i'm not gonna be okay meaning it's a threat to my existence that's a lie so there's the opportunity is okay thank you life for revealing somewhere within me that i'm still holding on to something that is self-preserving in nature which does not serve

me yeah right the uh one of the interesting phenomenon phenomena is is this kind of necessity for time because we don't like to acknowledge that we're wrong immediately because we're still so in the identity of the one who wants to be right at that point but given enough time we can go back and say oh yes that was the me of seven hours ago and the me of seven hours ago was a bit foolish but the me of now is wise yeah right but we have this illusion of time that's necessary and i know i

know i'm thinking of one friend in particular where he's very comfortable acknowledging where he was wrong a month ago six months ago a year ago oh yeah you know back in those days but he has to have a large expanse of time not even a day not even an hour but like a really large expanse of time so he's put enough distance in his own mind yeah to justify oh i'm different now so i can totally acknowledge that i'm wrong then but if you try to call him out on something that he's wrong about now

it's just resistance to the you know he'll [ __ ] bring all the swords out and fight to the death to preserve his rightness in the moment yeah you know and then you come to him six months later and be like oh yeah you know i was that was me then though i wasn't as conscious as i am now right and it's this trick we play and it's a trick with time and i think the the elegance of of actually being able to admit moment by moment and realize every single moment is an opportunity to

be different we don't need to wait a perceived amount of time to put distance to allow our own mental construct of the amount of time it takes to be a new person it could happen like this awareness can happen five seconds yeah after you said some stupid [ __ ] to your partner to somebody and be like oh wow that was dumb yeah and you can be a totally different person right then there is no time associated with these you know constructs that we make up in our mind because they're not linked to the physical

body yeah the physical body may take 40 days or however long it takes for cells to turn over or seven years i don't know i've heard a bunch of different things but ultimately like our psyche can change in a in a snap if we're willing and just understand that oh yeah okay that was me of five seconds ago and i am now the me now yeah and i forgive that me of five seconds ago and please you know i ask your forgiveness for the me of five seconds ago i'm really sorry right right and we

can do that quick we can if we get the right sort of excess uh ex sketch shaking that like you know and this is why sometimes it takes a guy to have a heart attack even though for five ten years he's been told by his doctors and his family that you know he should stay off the saturated fats and the junk food but it took something significant for him to go you know what i've got to revisit my my um diet my lifestyle you know the high cholesterol results wasn't sufficient so that's where it can

happen an instant um but it just depends to what degree there's that readiness for maturation you know your friend by the sounds of it like a quote i use i say they're none so self-righteous as the newly converted right now if you really get that like so and that's very slippery because what i hear without knowing him and it's no judgment is that once he recognizes it through the lens of how he wants to process it he's just gotten right about the fact that he knew what was going on so it's still a it's the

perpetuation of his self-righteousness and again and that's automated it's unconscious so there's no judgment but it nonetheless leaves him unavailable to life it doesn't allow him to have true affinity with people right because he's too busy trying to be right and then if we were to look back at his childhood you know we've been my guess there would have been periods where he felt like berated or that he was a bad boy and so he's learned to avoid the hurt of feeling that he had any indiscretion in the eyes of his parents who are the

ultimate care providers for whom he sought love the way to actually garner acceptance was to always be robust and right but that actually is now the obstacle to having the intimacy that he so desperately craves which is the madness of relationships we present our ambassador with all of these facets that are glorious you know in ways of trying to get love but it's not until such time that you actually drop that that you get to experience love that's the irony and you get to experience it by virtue of the fact that you develop sufficient love

for self in all of your flaws and imperfections you hold those that you actually make space for another human being who's going to be flawed by design that's when you can have true intimacy but as long as you're perpetuating the idea of yourself as some sort of mildly perfect human then actually you are the most lonely person on the planet again one of my quotes would say please never become perfect you'll have no one to relate to right so it's really to what degree can we actually embody love that is itself the space within which

imperfections are welcome yeah one of the other traps that i think we can fall in in a moment-to-moment basis is the trap of expectations uh-huh you know how we can have an expectation of an event which will rob us of the actual appreciation of anything that happens and when we have expectations when we turn that inward it can lead to a really deleterious cycle where we continually fail to meet our expectations and then we lose self-confidence and we lose the the ambition to dare because we're always being disappointed based upon this idea and it seems

to me that we are expectation creating machines at all times we're creating an expectation of what our partners should do or what we should do or how we should be what this food should taste like what the weather should be like what you know oh i'm getting married it's supposed to be sunny you know like we have expectations about all these things that are just setting us up for a kind of perpetual state of disappointment and then because even if the expectations are fully met it's not even like we celebrate to the extent that we're

disappointed it's like oh we expected it in general do you coach people on how to manage this the the faculty of our minds to be constantly creating expectations for sure i mean but it's my process is dissolution not solution right so like expectation is an extension of the part of us that is under the impression that there's something that we want outside of now right goes back to what i was saying earlier we're generating psychological time under the illusion that where we are is not where we're meant to be or where we want to be

the idea of becoming is you know it's exhausting because it's like i'm getting there which now creates time which is this the essence of expectation desire or wanting is going to create suffering because it's not so much that there's anything wrong with wanting it's fine but if it's coming from the essence of there's something missing then you're in the energy of lack so that's the suffering already then if you don't get what you're expecting which you thought was going to offset your feeling of lack right now you've got a double whammy because i'm already in

the energy of lack it doesn't matter what i am trying to garner or get in life if my if i don't understand that beyond the the narrative of inadequacy beyond the dialogue of scarcity lies the abundance of everything then i'm always associated with those feelings of limitation for which reason i am going to generate expectation so for me it's not about trying to deal with expectation i'm dissolving the idea that there's anything missing in the first place now it becomes a process of creation versus reaction it becomes a process of exploration versus searching i'm not

missing anything you think of a kid who's playing like cowboys and indians with his friends he's out there in the garden and maybe they've got a little bit of a you know they're on the edge of a forest and so they they forage in there and they find a stick and to him that stick is the greatest gun or it's the greatest arrow for his bow or whatever it is and so his friends and he are purely in the process of imagination whereas you think of an adult mind in that situation to what degree you

are really dependent on your presentation of perfectionism you know you have to before you play cowboys and indians you've got to subscribe to cowboys and indians magazine every month and you've got to make sure that you get the right gun you know because so-and-so is coming and all that really hot chick's going to be there too so i've got to make sure that i'm wearing the like the right you know buckle for my sheriff's outfit you know it just becomes so exhausting whereas the kids are just playing they don't have a sense of there's anything

missing whereas in adults we develop over time this idea of scarcity and adequacy and security and now it's a compensation game how can i compensate for that which i am perpetually believing in which itself is illusory that's why it's exhausting because you're lying to yourself and now i'm just trying to compensate it's an adaptation right so that's the difference is i don't live in the world of expectation i live in the world of uncertainty which is itself mystical it's magical it's surprising i don't need to know what's going to happen because there's nothing missing in

the first place and now i could have personal preference sometimes i'd like things to go a certain way and sometimes i'd like them not to go a certain way but guess what i'm last i checked i'm not in charge of the frickin universe i didn't get that memo you know it's like by the way peter crone has got everybody's marching orders you know it's like no i mean it's just it is what it is and i feel a beneficiary of life and whatever's unfolding if there's a little bit of mild irritation that's exciting because i

get to develop more freedom if there is an irritation it's just i'm i'm enjoying the journey of life as it's unfolding where's their expectation expectation is a psychological extension of something that i feel from an ego's perspective is what i want or don't want it's shame or pride it's all the facets of the ego looking to protect or to ghana that's all it is and in the absence of all of that there's just life unfolding yeah what about in those circumstances where there is a actual physical and not a psychologically derived but there is a

physical state of pain or a physical state of pleasure associated even in in the contrast of that um like we're in an illness or an injury in the fear that we have for this future event which will carry a physical pain and of course we layer all kinds of suffering along the way in in that but knowing that there are realities there are future realities that that do necessitate a certain level of pain what do you what do you tell the people how do you help people deal with a future reality in which pain is

in some ways an inevitability can you get it out of concept and talk about something real so let's say um a fear of getting sick in some way like i watched my uncle die of uh you know lymphoma okay and he there was an immense amount of physical pain and he kept his spirits really high he said you know he really just looked forward to that that one cup of coffee he could have in the morning and how it tasted and it actually turned him into in some ways a very mystical place but i could

also feel like the deep pain yeah as the cancer kind of took his body and took a you know a tennis pro and a guy who took me out shooting is the first person to teach me how to shoot a gun and someone who was like really viral in his expression of all life and it just withered him away in the physical actual attributes of that and i think it imprinted in me uh an innate fear of that reality yeah that actually oppresses my enjoyment of the present to some degree out of this fear of

this alternate reality which i find you know would be incredibly challenging yeah yeah so it's it's beautiful first of all you know i distinguish between pain and suffering right pain is unavoidable we're physical sentient beings we have these this meat suit that is predisposed to experience what it experiences by virtue of our central nervous system you're going to feel things you know it's like if this was too hot and i took a step it's like oh [ __ ] that's hot like there's you know i'm going to feel so pain is sort of it's inextricably

connected to the fact that we have a physical body suffering however is is something that that's what i'm helping to actually eradicate so what you're speaking to relative to yourself is suffering right fear is where you're the aspect of you that is concerned with death or that you might travel down some similar journey that your uncle did that's you're actually being hurt by your own perception your own dialogue right just as the kid can see a stick and to him that's the best gun on the planet you know it's not but it gives him an

experience of joy of fun of play and so you thinking that you might end up in similar shoes to your uncle what's actually hurting you is the conversation as i said people are prisoners of their own perspective not of life and so this suffering you're experiencing is a byproduct of the lens you're looking through not because in 5 10 50 years from now you end up with lymphoma right so you're actually that's the irony is where people are living in a state of suffering over something that hasn't even happened yet and usually doesn't happen right

right so like constantly so yeah but that's the part of us again that is resistant to death but this is why to die whilst you're alive is the greatest thing that can ever happen to you right so this is to me the ultimate sense of liberation is oh wow there's no me to be concerned about dying because the me that i'm concerned about dying is a conversation right where's aubry like i mean there's a meat suit you know i get it like and you have some experiences and you've got knowledge and you've got beautiful wife

and your life and yeah i get it but like the part of you that's concerned for death is itself just a narrative and when you really get that who are you beyond the conversation like if i'm the world's greatest fortune teller which you know between you and i am so like if i told you that you're going to live for another 60 years and you are absolutely cancer-free for all of that in fact you go in the most graceful almost like like a raft on the nile type of like magical like transition in just in

your in your bed like pristine still got a six-pack you know life is good 110 i don't know how old you are but like so you're just if that were your future if that's that is your journey that is your destiny and the way that you transition out of this paradigm is you know you're gonna have some bumps you know you're gonna hurt your knee you occasionally have these like little little disagreements with the misses you know that's okay but as it relates to your physical body you are relatively quote-unquote disease-free you don't have any

cancer and you transition beautifully and peacefully and life is good if that's your future how do you feel sitting in this chat you know that's that's what we want we want to scramble to a future that's known right so we all want to be the only fortune tellers that can that can actually have a known reality it's the surrender to the unknown that's the hard part so now answer the question though well i i wonder why your relationship doesn't work oh my god you know i'm here [Laughter] ultimately i i have resistance to adopting the

hypothetical i know that's why you didn't answer the question so this is why this is great right because what we're revealing is the fact that you're attached to something yeah which is beautiful because that's where you're stuck so again if in the next 60 years there is you are quote-unquote relatively disease-free apart from toothache a bit of stomachache maybe get the runs periodically like whatever it is but you don't have cancer you transition out of this life pain-free in your sleep beautiful everybody's there oh my god aubry amazing guy beautiful eulogies you know it's like

it's gorgeous like if that is the next 60-plus years of your life sitting with me now answering my question how would that feel there's i i the resistance is what's interesting because i won't i i still won't let myself feel and i've had you know we've sat in this chair where i've really felt it and i've felt the release happen i won't let that happen right now because i'm all my logical mind is questioning the hypothesis well this is just a hypothetical but it's deeper than that and the deeper part of that is my attachment

to the idea of the fear of that and like i won't let myself release into into this belief into this faith that everything is going to go all right probably because i'm scared of the disappointment gap if it doesn't happen like that like if i'm always constantly suffering a little bit in the anticipation of the possibility then if it happens well i kind of expect it and maybe that makes me a little bit right or maybe that just prevents the slap of the disappointment of me expecting something that was positive and then having it not

come to fruition so i'm like no no no don't even go there not even in this hypothetical example sitting here on this podcast don't even let yourself [ __ ] feel it because it's dangerous yeah yeah beautiful i appreciate as always the vulnerability so you want to hear something really funny yeah your image that you have of the way it's going to go guess what that is hypothetical yeah totally totally but i mean like i'm sitting here and go you're like oh i don't want to go to the hypothetical i'm like you're completely defined by

the hypothetical yeah it's just your hypothetical like when i worked with i shared this i think on the first podcast like an nba guy who was really struggling from the free throw line worst shooting average 37 league average was like 76 i'm sitting in his kitchen and i said you know you step up to the line and how do you feel like i dude i'm just like i don't want to miss i'm embarrassed like i'm anxious my hands are sweaty all of the things you'd expect from a future of like despair that you're trying to

avoid right similar to you and and he's like you know so now i hear the crowd and like my teammates and like blah blah blah right all you get the whole world of his concern and i said to him he was way better at this game than you are but i said i said what if i told you for the rest of the season you shoot just league average we don't even have to get fancy just league average i mean his face lit up he's like dude that'd be [ __ ] awesome i was like

well what i just presented to you is as real as the future you're concerned about i'm still sitting in your kitchen you know it's like right and and from that moment forth he got it and he that night he shot 68 he went on and blah blah blah was part of the us olympic team and right so he recognized that it's his own mechanism of imagination and superimposition that is creating his resistance now so that's why i'm laughing with you because i love you but you're saying oh no i don't want i'm i'm too logical

i don't want to go into the hypothetical i'm like dude you're just completely living in the hypothetical right it reminds me of uh you know william james was asked whether he believed in free will he's a you know great philosopher for those who don't know him and he said i don't know if there's free will or not but my life is better when i believe there is right my life is better when i believe there is my life is unequivocally better whether i get cancer or not my life is unequivocally better if i live my

life in the faith and the freedom of believing that i am going to thrive and be healthy and have a life filled of pleasure and joy and love and freedom and peace like that reality if i adopt and internalize that reality it's better no matter what right and that's the that's the fallacy of of what my own construct has created i'm trying to prevent myself from the disappointment but i'm creating a constant state of suffering with almost no payoff because if it happens i'll [ __ ] deal with it anyways i'll still have to deal

with it doesn't make any difference anyway so right i'm just incurring a massive load of suffering for some perceived benefit of an incidence that may or may not happen yeah and it's it's it is a it is a madness yeah but it's again this is where the forgiveness and the compassion comes in because that's very human because the primordial intention as i said is to survive but the part of you that's trying to survive is the part of you that's already living in the hypothetical that this is what's going to happen what i'm introducing to

you even if you can't go to where i set which is a created future where you're like oh i'm going to live i'm going to thrive i'm going to be abundant i'm going to be vital i get that's a leap relative to what you've been accustomed to how long ago did your uncle die ten years so okay great so you got a decade of like living into this fear it's got a lot of gravity to it so even if you can't meet me in this world of like just an extraordinary future with this beautiful transition

and amazing family and all of the things you want to have unfold in your life can you at least meet me in the truth today which is do you know categorically and you can only answer yes or no do you know if you're going to die of cancer i think i'm not that's you're just a terrible listener no i don't know right perfect right so now can you sit with you don't know what's gonna happen absolutely okay so if you went from okay it's not gonna look good at least i get to be right about

the disappointment but now meet me here today with i don't know what what does that at least give you as a crack in terms of how you could feel it's a it's a stepping stone towards the place where i want to go i want to go to the place where i have that radical faith i don't want to go halfway i want to go all the way and yeah and i think the the intermediate step that you're offering is that place of i don't know yeah and then the next step which is going to bring

the greatest benefit into my life and the greatest release that feeling where everything just ah there's that deep sigh of yeah that's the place of it's a really a choice it's a choice for faith it's a choice to believe that this reality and everything we know about the way that our beliefs signal our bodies and signal our genes that actual belief is actually going to more likely manifest that reality anyways so it's doing myself from a physiological standpoint the best thing it's doing myself from the mental standpoint the best thing so this is just one

of those little things it's like a stick that got stuck in the bicycle wheel of my brain and it's now time for me to pull that [ __ ] out yeah and what i really hear in this and it's beautiful that you're seeing it like what i hear more than anything is that it's less about your concern for the fear of death you're a strong dude you know we're we're close now we've hung out you know it's like i get who you are you're a big spirit what i really still am present to is a

little boy who loves and misses his uncle that's what i really hear right like that's where you're stuck in time it's less about your future and it's the fact that you lost in your mind somebody who meant so much to you and that's where the hurt actually is yeah right he meant so much to you and in a way he was almost immortal in your eyes and so there's a bit of an aberration in a way that you see this big man it's like how could that happen and as a little boy how could you

ever be as big as him and so if it can happen to him then for sure somebody who's as mortal as you can never match his grandiose presence for you right but see that's what's beautiful for me is less concern about your future more just really embodying the love and we've had this conversation in different forms right how much you cared about that game and when you were pulled out as a 17 year old and like you know what's really beautiful is how big your heart is but don't shackle it like feel it feel it

express how much that man tell stories about him you know i love that he was the guy that first told you how to use a gun like that's beautiful that's got value you know don't use his death as an excuse to worry about your own use his death as the obstacle the opportunity to see how loving you are yeah how much you care and that to me is the precursor to then living a life that has got way more way more significance than a little guy who's scared of dying of cancer that's so beneath you

right i get it you're human but if he can be a role model for you in the way that he is a catalyst to inspire the release of how much love you have don't be stingy with that love if you have one more day on this planet or you have 60 as i proposed don't hold back love just because you're scared yeah that's not the poet's way that's not the warrior poet's way it's not anything any of the stories that i ever see that inspire me that's that's not how any of them would live no

you know they live fully every single moment yeah and uh and it's it's interesting i can have that ideal and but not even realize where there's something some piece that's been holding me back some way in which i'm resisting that idea because of my love and my loss that i've experienced and it's it's affected me in ways that i didn't even realize because when you said it i mean i would have never predicted that if you said that if you told me when we were down in the kitchen just you know bullshitting around that you

know this was going to happen and i would have this emotional reaction and be like no way i'm over that i've grieved him and yeah apparently not no but it's beautiful and you know i i feel grateful that you know we seem to have this every time every damn time occupational hazard of sitting with peter crone you're gonna let go of a bunch of [ __ ] so that to me is the beauty of like recognizing that when we get hurt we become protective and when we're protective we become fearful so really if we can

get back to the hurt which is really an expression of love that you just love your uncle and more than you love your uncle i really want you to get this you love you have not been loving and i'm again general statement of course you're loving but the capacity with which you have to love has been thwarted by the fact that a little boy got hurt and now he's sort of like on tender hooks looking out a little bit for his own preservation yeah which is a denial of your capacity to show up for people

which really is what your uncle would want anyway no doubt he admired the crap out of you he adored you it was reciprocal yeah right and so this is where i find energy from the fact that my mom dies when i'm seven my dad dies when i'm 17 and everybody had this sort of sob story for me of like oh my god that's terrible and i'm like you don't understand how much love i was given dem it was demonstrative from my parents that allowed me to see what does love look like until such time that

of course i had to go through my own romantic woes and some you know painful separations but each time it just revealed the expansiveness of my capacity to love and then in any way that i suppress that i suffer in any way that i limit my capacity to love i'm in pain and if you really get that because you and i are like brothers that way like you have such a big heart you know but there is this little bit of like self-guarded self-protective nature because you got heart which is fine you're human but let's

break that let's just love whether you're on this planet as i said for another week or another 60 days i want you to experience the depth of your capacity to love and express joy that is the embodiment of just being loving yeah okay that's it man that's it yeah that's different right that's it yeah that's it where's the edge for you man where's the edge where's like you know you've you've solved so many problems and you're continually you know creating ways in which you can break down these false constructs that hold people back is there

is there is it more challenging to do it with self or do you do that with the same kind of um clarity and and you know kind of impartiality that you can do for others and where's the edge and where's this where's where do you stumble when it when it turns inward um it's definitely not i would say it's not as clear i mean it's obviously much easier to look at other people when i get caught in my own narratives like i've gotten to a point now where i've learned to listen and this is why

you know i've been hard on you because i just hold you to a high standard but like if you could listen a little bit more acutely to what's actually happening listening is a it's an essence it's not necessarily the words i'm saying it's like listening is a form of relationship right like being with life so i would say that's one of my superpowers is listening so that also then translates into my own conversation so i become a good listener of the thoughts which can still be you know at times sort of a little bit derogatory

or fear-based if something's happening that i don't like but then i listen and then what does that what does that conversation call for right so if i'm feeling a little scared what's that called for it's asking for reassurance and then i bring that you know if there's a bit of uncertainty what they're looking for is looking for some sort of security and i'll bring that so um i i'm a work in progress you know i'm not walking on water just yet you know it's like there's a way to go so and and and honestly i

feel so grateful because it's like people like yourself and clients that i work with and groups that i speak to where i didn't know what we're going to talk about today i really didn't know that we're going to talk about your uncle and that there's going to be this beautiful emotional release like so i'm a beneficiary of the unfolding of life itself where i get to reinforce my own distinctions my own revelations my own insights just through the the courage and the vulnerability and the authenticity of people sharing what they're going through so um that's

where i get most of my work done is really just being a space of love and presence for people and seeing in them the little child in me that also could have that same tendency towards being scared or lonely it's okay you know it's okay i've just made more space for all of my little idiosyncrasies right you know one of the the monarchy the moniker you carry is architect and you know in that there's a certain mathematical element and it reminds me of a mathematician that has a big problem like a big puzzle that they're

looking to solve something that's on the chalkboard that they're looking to find the right formula for is there anything that you're pondering and trying to understand now a benefit to self or others or your clients is there anything that's like on the edge that you really or recent discovery or something that's still on the chalkboard where you got the formula but you haven't quite solved it yeah is there anything that you can think of that's like that is covert actually real um that's a great question i think i'm always in the process of analysis is

a strong word it sounds tiring and it's not tiring for me it's really joyous it's like i'm a mad scientist in terms of exploration so there's no one specific thing i just really am fascinated by this dimension this paradigm that we're all in and the way i look at it as i said it's really revelatory meaning that we come here because we have our baggage we have our fears we have our constraints and so the formula that i feel is the most powerful that i've ever seen is that life is going to present you with

people and circumstances to reveal where you're not free is my quote that you know is now one of the most readily used out there which is you know that's that's certainly lovely to see people sharing it but that to me is the formula for awakening it's like okay where can i discover some sense of unrest or dis-ease where i get triggered i get upset and then rather than trying to control circumstances mitigate or dismiss or withdraw or the different ways that we survive that can i dive right into it go wow let's be let's be

fascinated by the fact that i've got upset by something because that is in direct juxtaposition to my ability to truly be powerful and free regardless of circumstance that that's that sweet spot right there is okay rather than trying to deny experience or try to control circumstance where can i actually reveal internal constraint and be the architect of my own liberation right so yeah that's that's my constant edge with others and when it rises within myself obviously uh i've done a ton of work to get me to where i'm at but like that's not to say

that things start you know going to show up in my quote-unquote future that i can't predict that might be going oh like you know i got like upset surprised a new a new corner of the world and yeah free yeah and that's where again why i'm so happy that you could at least embrace me taking you from knowing hypothetically what's going to happen to no you don't know you don't know i mean i don't want to be like like my car but like you might not make it for ten you might be in a freaking

car accident you know it's like we don't know but if you lived in that fear you'd you'd have a lot more concern right like oh you're only going to live for three three more years or whatever it is like the what's the consistent you got a conversation in your head that's giving you an experience and it's all hypothetical which is why the i don't mind don't know mine and i think i told that story the thing that got me to where i am today is those three words of i don't know i just don't know

which is amazing that people pay me a fortune to work with me and i'm just i don't know they're like wow this guy's great you know it's so freeing joyous joyous self-reflection is one of your one of your your great practices what are the other personal practices that you engage in is there a meditation practice is there uh you know some kind of spiritual practice or another practice that you use to support yourself yeah through your process i think most of my practices are really just to do with taking care of my equipment you know

so the the traditional like sleep exercise good sunlight you know uh good quality food supplementation where required i think yeah if we go back to the metaphor of the car i was using like if you want to have a good ride in life you know you've got to take care of your tire pressure and your oil right and so it's like taking care of my equipment i my former career was more in physical transformation as a trainer and a yoga instructor and pilates instructor so i've got that fortune as a foundation upon which i can

pull to like just take care of like my gear you know and i think anybody can relate to if i haven't slept very well i'm not going to have the same degree of articulation i'm going to have the same degree of precision so like take care of the basics make sure that the equipment is all you know it's done it's annual and it's all good and then then you have a a much stronger chance of like having a a a mental and emotional immunity to life right i think there's physical immunity that's obviously topic du

jour right now but i think there's something to be said for psychological immunity there's something to be said for the fact that i am immune to circumstance in the way that i don't get dis-eased by what's going on out there right so the two to me are inseparable mind-body connection it's not really my body connection it's just different forms of density and so one informs the other if i feel inspired mentally or emotionally because i've fallen in love or i got a good opportunity you're generally going to have a lot more energy in your body

and you're going to feel more vital if i equally have a great workout or i got some good sleep or i ate some great food then that equally is going to imprint on the psychology so i think taking care of equipment on both sides so that's my practices just to and actually i'm working on a program for to help people with that more on the physical too yeah no doubt i mean uh when you're sick or when you're tired or yeah and it's it's one of the reasons why i wrote own the day is the

first book like the foundation is the body and it's actually quite a bit simpler in many ways than the than the mind you know because it's a it's a somewhat the density is is there so it's slower in some ways like yeah it takes a long time to lose you know 100 pounds or whatever you want to do but you can change your mind in a moment like i changed my mind today i'm not saying a lot of weight exactly that can happen in the psyche fast in the body but it's also it's very you

know there's a formula that's that's that makes a lot of sense for the body uh so yeah that's really good advice i think uh you know one of the last things i want to ask you is yeah what are your thoughts on you know a journaling practice you know is this something that you really recommend is it something you do yourself and what are like the productive ways to go through this you know self-reflection through writing versus thought and like journaling prompts that can help people get you know access to some of the some of

the questions and conversations that they may be blind to i think it's very beneficial especially when people don't have access to like a peter crone or somebody who can reflect for them right so to have self-reflection i think anything that creates space right so meaning if you're in a conversation in your head about something that's you know disturbing you creating some sort of anxiety then if you can articulate it onto paper it's almost like through the version of like being a third-party observer of your own conversation you get some sort of perspective right so i

think journaling i think it's twofold one it creates space and two journaling is very self-expressive and by that i mean it's like prayer right when i was looking at the energy of prayer and really like meditating on that why is prayer powerful it's not so much that you know whether there is some response on the other side or it does elicit some sort of like goodwill because you're asking for guidance that may well happen and that's in the realm of whatever you want to believe but it does to me speak to the freedom to express

what's really there and that's love right because if you think about it in everyday life when you're in front of your wife your husband your father your mother your boss you know invariably depending on the quality of the relationship and as i said most relationships struggle a little bit because people aren't free but you are in some degree inhibited in your self-expression right because you don't want to upset someone whether it's sort of more philanthropic oh i don't want to upset them or it's more i don't want to upset them because i don't want to

get in trouble which is more self-preservation either way i'm not just fully self-expressed like a kid will go up to someone at a party and go why are you fat right like the kid doesn't know yet that's an inappropriate thing to say or you know oh you're ugly right that's just this beautiful thing about a child that it's it's actually it is it elicits the response we're having because it's it's it's liberating it's joyous like that you can just be that [ __ ] honest right so i think the energy of journaling and prayer are

synonymous in that regard because you're in your own conversation where you don't feel inhibited in the ability to talk about what's close to the heart and so that itself is uh it's a form of liberation just by the fact that you're acknowledging what's really going on and i think people are just so thwarted in their self-expression they're so intimidated they want to be right they want to be polite they don't want to offend they don't want inconvenience oh no no no no no no or even when someone gives you a compliment right like how many

people like deny that they disliked it yeah and so i think the more we can get good at just being comfortable on our own skin and yeah like i feel this way and that's what's like it's love holding the humanity that i am and so journaling and prayer i think it just exercises in that ultimately i would love and i help people get to the place where you can have that with a partner you can have it with a loved one ideally you can even have it in a corporate environment if it's done under the

right guys of like you know we we honor self-expression here um so that that's powerful that's intimacy that's affinity to me that's where i'm truly you know that's the expression of namaste right like it's like the the divine in me sees the divine in you and in the midst of that is our humanity and we make space for it and to be mindful of the the dramaturgy that we might be playing out in our journals or in our prayers if we're praying to be the pious one and reflecting back to self oh this is me

being pious and i'm going to pray in this certain way because it makes me feel this way about myself that's worthless yeah you know that doesn't help anything that's you know self-righteousness right and then same in the journal if you're journaling to reaffirm your rightness or reaffirm your or any other reason other than just the radical open self-expression like these are sacred places sacred spaces in your mind your commune with the divine however you want it or in your journal as a sacred space as well and which is why you know one of the great

violations that you know someone can do is when a parent goes and dad goes and reads his daughter's journal yeah you know like you don't understand the violation of that because now every time she's in that journal she's wondering do i need to censor my thoughts just in case my dad breaks into my room and busts open this journal you've just actually severed the communication between her truest deepest self and that's something that for everybody there whether you're in partnership or whether you know no matter how much that draws you towards it because of your

curiosity or your desire to control whatever [ __ ] you know thing you got going on like respecting the sanctity of that within self and within others like that's uh it's a sacred place yeah it's it's again i just use the word love because it's you know it's allowing it's granting beingness which might be a weird expression like i'm granting the space for me to be what i'm being and it's okay like that to me is the quintessential parent is who makes space and sadly there's not that many you know we're all works in progress

and i can't speak to parenting i know it's difficult but the quintessential parent is granting beingness to their child the child's doing their best if they you know if i went to go and hug you and i knocked the mug over and you're the parent who gets upset you didn't allow the fact that this kid is still developing like the awareness of their central nervous system and how their limbs move in space like to get upset only now creates more tension in that child the absence of feeling accepted for who they are in the process

of their own evolution so if we can bring that to ourselves to others that's a totally different planet where we allow people to just be works in progress you know no one's perfect myself included we are all developing hopefully but within the context of love that development is is unthwarted it's not in any way built around a brick wall of shame or guilt or fear um that that's that's my commitment is bring more love so that people can f up and be who they are and it's okay we love you exactly the way you are

and if you're committed to something else i'll support you in that too amen to that the trilogy has concluded my friend the three p we [ __ ] did it riley has a trademark on three pete we might owe him something for using that i think he's all right so i got just to wrap it up just to be powerful i got four maybe five questions but they're short okay um did you love your encore yes yeah i get that so the love's still there right so in the absence of him does that mean that

love has to go no great the way your uncle passed could it and it's a yes or no answer could it have been any different no can you today with me accept that that's exactly how he passed yes beautiful do you know how you're gonna die no can you be okay with that for now yes awesome a bit more freedom a lot more freedom you know thank you so much and just to go through the part where also i just learned something when you ask could it have been any different that was the one there

there was still some energy in there because yeah i could analyze and you know talk to my mom and talk to his other siblings and kind of see where there was some repression in him and i oh uncle if you would have just been able to express that thing that you were holding you know of cancer has been described to me by some great health practitioners as disease of repression and if you would have just let that out maybe you wouldn't but he he couldn't no they couldn't have been any different and that's like and

that's the things and it's uh there was that was also beautiful to actually verbalize and say and just realize like no it couldn't have been any different you did the [ __ ] best you could uncle craig and i love you and even more profound and the question was very specific for that reason this is my first rodeo and it's certainly not my first rodeo with you right because you had it that your 17 year old self could have done it differently and told the coach you didn't want to be pulled out of the game

from our first interview right yeah and then you really saw no it couldn't have been different so there's something beautiful for you to get which is the surrender to the fact that life is unfolding the way it's unfolding which is why i have the quote that what happened happened and couldn't have happened any other way because it didn't and if you really get that there's so much freedom in that all i get is that that's what happened and you loved the [ __ ] out of your uncle that's got nothing to do with how things

unfolded that's true man i'm gonna need some integration time after this one thank you so much brother there's anything you want to uh point out to people anything you got going on um i mean depending on when this comes out like we might be uh close to christmas so i'm gonna relaunch my free your mind course which i'm very excited about um which speaks to all of these things you see this actually happened with four people i'd never met before at a much even i don't know we did we went pretty deep today but it's

in the same degree of like excavation of limitations that everyone can relate to so um and then some exciting things for next year so you know sign up send your email follow the instagram peter crone official whatever it is that you want to do to do the things stay informed about the world of freedom and possibility baby [ __ ] out of love do the damn things yeah i love you brother thank you so much love you too my friend love you guys as well peace thanks for checking out this video for more like it

please subscribe to my channel and of course the aubrey marcus podcast with new episodes every single week and follow me on instagram aubry marcus thank you so much