the great stoic philosopher epicurus once said associate with those who Elevate you individuals whose presence draws out your finest qualities you've probably heard the saying you're the average of The Five People You spend the most time with well today we're going to explore that idea through a stoic lens we will discuss the 10 types of people who can derail your progress in stoic philosophy and why it's crucial to to reconsider your friendships with them before we begin I would appreciate it if you would like the video to help me continue spreading the stoic philosophy if
you are not subscribed I recommend you subscribe and activate the Bell so you don't miss any videos here are 10 types of people you need to avoid the first type of person that is complainer we all have that friend family member or coworker who seems to find fault in everything whether it's the weather their job or even the food at a popular restaurant they never miss an opportunity to express their dissatisfaction now you might wonder why should this concern me I can just ignore them well that's easier said than done consistent exposure to such negativity
has a draining effect on your mental well-being it's akin to a leaky forcet slowly depleting your reservoir of emotional energy stoicism teaches us to focus on actionable Solutions instead of dwelling on problems imagine you're collaborating on a project with someone who is a Perpetual complainer each meeting turns into an exhausting session of complaint without any constructive dialogue the impact on the team's morale declines and your your sidetracked from finding actionable Solutions you'll likely find yourself increasingly disenchanted with the project and possibly even life in general to make it easier to visualize let's assume you are
working on an important project at your company and you have a colleague let's call him Alex who constantly complains about everything Whenever there is a meeting Alex tends to speak up about the negative aspects of the project from the pressure of the work schedule to organizational issues initially you may try to listen to Alex and attempt to encourage him however over time Alex's Relentless negativity begins to affect the morale of the entire team meetings become tense and ineffective and everyone feels drained after each work session from a stoic philosophy perspective you can apply some principles
to deal with this situation first focus on what you can control you cannot control Alex's thoughts or actions but you can control your own reactions and thoughts concentrate on improving your own work performance instead of letting the situation deteriorate because of Alex next challenge negative thoughts Alex's negative thoughts may not reflect reality or May not be significant challenge those thoughts and try to look at the positive aspects of the project finally create a positive environment by embodying stoic thinking and a positive attitude you can influence the work group and help create a more encouraging work
environment remember that stoic philosophy is not about changing others but about managing and reacting to the situations around you in this case it helps you maintain a positive attitude and focus on Solutions rather than getting caught up in someone else's negativity so how does stoicism help us deal with a complainer there are several strategies you can employ first limit your exposure to this individual whenever you can if that's not possible perhaps because they're a family member or colleague then your second opt option is to mentally distance yourself during their diet tribe think of their complaints
as a passing storm loud and unsettling but ultimately temporary and Powerless against the unmovable Mountain that is your own inner Tranquility your third option is to steer the conversation towards Solutions or to change the subject to something more constructive to quote Marcus arus you have power over your mind not outside events realize this and you will find strength this Timeless stoic wisdom encourages us to guard our mental peace diligently ensuring that the negativity from chronic complainers doesn't deviate us from our Inner Path of resilience and virtue the second type of person is the drama magnet
imagine you're navigating your life as if it were a ship sailing through calm Waters but then you encounter the whirlpool known as the drama magnet this individual seems to have an unending series of crises conflicts or controversies and like a Whirlpool they have an unsettling ability to suck you into their Vortex of chaos you might initially find yourself attracted to the drama magnet's energy mistaking it for passion or excitement however you'll soon realize that being in their sphere is like navigating a ship through a storm exhausting and dangerous what makes dealing with drama from obstructive
individuals challenging is that their urgent situations often make you feel as if they're your own their chaos can spread and you may even find yourself drawn into conflicts that you initially had no part in consider a specific example you have a friend who frequently gets into conflicts with with others in your Social Circle let's imagine you have a friend named Sarah in your group recently Sarah engaged in a heated debate about some issue within the group The Argument escalated into a serious conflict between Sarah and several others in the group Sarah appeared very angry and
dissatisfied with the others in the group for not agreeing with her point of view she often criticizes and complains about the other members of the group and seems very frustrated with the situation at this point you've started to feel pressure and tension as you continue to be part of this group Sarah often brings these conflict situations into conversations and the main topics of group meetings and there's no sign that she'll stop you've tried talking to Sarah attempting to resolve conflicts and offering advice but it hasn't helped in resolving the situation and you failed to change
Sarah's perspective or ease the tension in this situation to apply stoic principles and avoid being drawn into Sarah's negative emotions you can employ a technique called reflective listening instead of trying to persuade Sarah or engaging in the conflict you can reflect back what she says in a non-judgmental manner for example when Sarah complains about others not agreeing with her you can say so you feel frustrated with their disagreement right this way you don't engage in the argument and don't escalate the tension but you still let Sarah know that you're listening and empathetic to her emotions
however if Sarah continues to maintain the conflict situation and you feel that participating in this group is no longer in line with your mood and goals you can also apply the final strategy mentioned in the passage which is become selectively unavailable this may involve temporarily distancing yourself from the group or seeking out activities and relationships that better align with your State of Mind stoicism reminds us to value our time highly and sometimes that means being unavailable for other people's crises especially if they're recurring without resolution turn off your phone during certain hours create Focus periods
where you concentrate solely on your work or personal development and let it be known that during these times you're not to be disturbed to paraphrase senica true happiness is to enjoy the present without anxious dependence upon the future this can be particularly helpful when dealing with drama magnets instead of anxiously wondering what crisis will happen next concentrate on the present moment where you have control enjoy your life and don't let it be disrupted by someone else's trauma make it a point to sail your ship calmly steering clear of whirlpools that threaten your Voyage towards personal
growth and Tranquility the third type of person to avoid is the unfavorable person picture this you're an artist painting a canvas each brush stroke adds C color depth and Life to your vision enter the naysayer they walk into your studio glance at your work and immediately begin to critique it are you sure about that color that doesn't look realistic you know most artists never make it their words like Strokes of gray paint start to dull your vibrant canvas this isn't your standard constructive criticism instead it's a persistent Aura of doubt and negativity for example imagine
you are excited about pursuing a new career path you've done your research talked to experts in the field and may have even taken some introductory courses when you share your excitement with others they quickly list all the reasons why it might not succeed the market is too competitive do you have the necessary skills what if you fail soon enough their doubts start to feel like your own and your once confident Vision begins to waver but don't let their negative words defeat you or erode your confidence instead of embracing doubt and agreeing with them take a
different approach ask yourself questions like why is the market so competitive can I improve my skills to face this challenge if I encounter difficulties can I learn from my mistakes and fail failures to become stronger in this way you can shift their concern towards seeking Solutions and considering ways to overcome challenges instead of just focusing on the negative aspects the key is to maintain belief in your own abilities and not let others doubts diminish your determination to achieve your goals so how do you deal with a naysayer especially when they might be someone one close
to you one unconventional but effective method is to ask them for advice rather than just sharing your plans or aspirations when people are put in an advisory role they're less likely to attack your ideas outright and may offer more constructive feedback another method involves flipping the script through a technique called positive confrontation instead of absorbing their negativity challenge them to think of solutions if they say you'll never be able to switch careers at this stage counter with an interesting perspective how do you think someone could successfully make a career change this not only deflects the
negativity but also encourages a more constructive form of conversation remember the words of the stoic philosopher epicus we have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as as much as we speak listening doesn't mean absorbing everyone's negativity it means Discerning valuable input from Mere noise when the naysayers start to Cloud your canvas with their shades of Doubt take a step back the fourth type of person to avoid is the toxic positivist you know this person the one who always exudes Sunshine rainbows and endless streams of emojis they're the ones telling you
to just be happy when you're going through a difficult period dismissing your feelings and experiences with a flippant wave of glittery optimism imagine your life as a garden there are flowers but there are also weeds and pests a toxic positivist however insists on ignoring anything that isn't a blooming rose got aphids on your leaves just focus on the flow flowers they'd say while it sounds uplifting their approach can make you feel invalidated and disconnected from reality let's imagine you're going through a difficult breakup you're feeling sad confused and seeking emotional balance a breakup can be
one of the most challenging experiences anyone can go through in life you may feel pain heartache and even lost in life after the breakup during such times advice from a toxic positivist can be extremely frustrating and unreasonable on a wide sea there are many fish just smile and be happy this statement might have a meaningful context and can be true in a broader sense but it fails to acknowledge the pain and difficulties you're currently experiencing a breakup can make you feel like you've lost a part of yourself and simply smiling and living happily isn't always
helpful advice this kind of excessive positivity overlooks the complexity of human emotions and the realities of life life is not always filled with happiness and sometimes we need to confront negative emotions such as sadness grief and disappointment these are natural and unavoidable aspects of life and self- condemnation for feeling these emotions only adds to the pain instead of suppressing all negative emotions and focusing solely on the positive we can learn to confront them accept them and consider how they can help us grow and learn the key is to maintain a balance between the positive and
the negative to experience life in a more realistic and balanced way how do you cultivate your garden without letting the toxic positivists trample it with their indiscriminate sprinkling of Good Vibes only one strategy is to engage them in a discussion that Embraces both light and Shadow if they say look on the bright side at least you have your health you could respond with yes I'm grateful for my health but it's also okay for me to feel upset about this specific issue both can coexist you can also employ what psychologists call emotional granularity the ability to
feel and differentiate between a wide range of emotions both positive and negative when the toxic positivist pushes you to just be happy take a moment to acknowledge and label your nuanced feelings I'm feeling a bit melancholic today due to reason and that's okay can be a liberating affirmation in reference to stoic thought senica once said true happiness is to understand our duties toward God and man to enjoy the present without anxious dependence upon the future notice the balance understanding duties which aren't always Pleasant and enjoying the present a stoic approach isn't about focusing solely on
the positive or the negative it's about embracing life's complexity with Equanimity so the next time the toxic positivist sprinkles their confetti on your carefully tended Garden take a step back remember that a garden needs both sunshine and Rain to flourish and embrace your full emotional Spectrum keep nurturing your garden with the richness and complexity it deserves the fifth type of person to avoid is the victim imagine Life as a game of chess with each player having the same set of chess pieces and the same common goal to put the opponent's king in Checkmate you strategically
make your moves make sacrifices and sometimes accept risks however the victim blames the chessboard the pieces or even their opponent for every poor move they make in their eyes they are constantly in checkmate not because of their choice but due to an external Force working against them their story is an endless tale of suffering with themselves cast as the helpless protagonist in life this analogy helps us better understand how each of us faces challenges and makes decisions in this game everyone begins with the same set of pieces and a shared objective we must think strategically
and carefully plan our moves just like moving chess pieces on a board sometimes we must make sacrifices and take calculated risks to achieve our goals however what sets apart those who succeed from the victims is how they respond to failures and difficulties the victim constantly seeks to assign blame to external factors such as the chessboard the pieces or even their opponent whenever they encounter challenges or failures instead of taking responsibility for their actions or decisions they believe that an external force is always working against them consequently they perceive themselves as constantly being checkmates the victim's
life often becomes an unending Narrative of suffering with themselves cast as the helpless main character they fail to recognize that they have choices and the power to control their own destiny in contrast those who succeed understand that life may present challenges and uncontrollable factors but how they respond and decide their next moves in the game of Life ultimately determines their fate the important thing is to recognize that in life everyone has to face difficulties and failures and there are external factors that can affect us however the difference lies in how we deal with and learn
from these situations we can't always control everything but how we react and decide the next move in The Game of Life ultimately determines Our Fate while it's crucial to acknowledge that some people face genuine hardships and systemic issues the victim we're discussing uses their predicament as a permanent excuse refusing to take any responsibility for their actions or lack thereof you might find yourself entangled in their storyline perhaps as the supporting character who constantly needs to rescue them let's say you've spent countless hours listening to a friend blame their endless string of failed relationships entirely on
their ex Partners not only does this consume your time but it can also subtly encourage you to adopt a similar victim mindset in your own life so what's your move when dealing with a victim especially when they might be someone close to you one unconventional but effective method is to ask them open-ended questions that encourage them to reflect on their situation instead of offering Solutions or becoming their Perpetual Problem Solver try questions like what do you think you could do differently in this situation or how do you see yourself taking control of this aspect of
your life another approach is to show empathy and kindness but don't try to rescue them from situations they need to navigate themselves offer a listening ear but refrain from becoming their Perpetual Problem Solver remember the words of the stoic philosopher epicurus the best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the Injustice if you find yourself getting sucked into the victim's narrative resist the urge to become one yourself self- take control of your own game board make your moves and remember that in the chess game of life being perpetually in Checkmate is often a choice
not a fate keep your pieces moving forward make strategic sacrifices when necessary and play not for revenge or pity but for growth and wisdom the sixth type of person is the time Vampire Empire imagine your daily routine as a carefully crafted Symphony each instrument represents a task or commitment and when played together they create a harmonious balance but then the time Vampire joins in screeching off key drowning out the melody and disrupting the flow of your life's composition time vampires are individuals who constantly demand your time and attention often without providing much value in return
you may have a friend who habitually calls you for lengthy Meandering conversations that leave you drained and behind schedule or a colleague who consistently interrupts your work with trivial matters causing you to miss deadlines time vampires don't just consume your time they disrupt your focus productivity and peace of mind to deal with time vampires it's essential to set clear boundaries communicate your availability and limits firmly but politely and let them know when you're available for calls or meetings and when you need focused uninterrupted work time encourage them to respect your schedule as you respect theirs
another strategy is to redirect their demands toward more productive Ive or efficient communication methods for example if a friend tends to engage in Long aimless phone calls suggest switching to Shorter Focus text messages or emails for quick updates or questions by doing this you can regain control over your time and prevent it from being sucked away expanding upon the specific example of dealing with a friend who often makes long and indefinite phone calls we can can better understand how to apply a strategy to manage time and maintain Effectiveness in our daily lives by suggesting a
switch to Shorter more concise text messages or emails as a more efficient means of communication you not only save time but also create a more convenient communication environment for both parties changing the way you communicate can bring several benefits firstly it allows you to have more control over your time by enabling interactions at your convenience you are not constrained by lengthy and indefinite phone calls that you may not want to or cannot answer immediately instead you can read and respond to text messages or emails when you are ready secondly using text messages or emails as
a means of communication can result in more powerful and effective exchanges you can organize your thoughts into concise and to Theo messages aiding the recipient in understanding and responding promptly this optimizes information exchange and reduces the time wastage often associated with long Meandering conversations thirdly adopting this form of communication can create a more conducive environment for discussing and resolving in specific issues you can focus on core questions and requests and the recipient can provide accurate responses without the need for prolonged discussions this helps maximize the time of both parties and ensures that tasks are carried
out more efficiently by implementing this strategy you can assert control over your time and maintain Effectiveness in your daily life by diplomatically and rationally proposing an improvement in communication you are creating a positive and convenient environment for both yourself and your contacts in stoic philosophy there's a focus on understanding what is within your control and what isn't time vampires often try to seize control of your schedule and attention but you can assert your control by setting boundaries and managing ing your time intentionally remember the words of the stoic philosopher Sena it is not that we
have a short space of time but that we waste much of it associating with people who uplift you and align with stoic principles is crucial for your progress in stoic philosophy and personal growth the seventh type of person to avoid is the manipulator picture your life as a movie script you're the main character and you have an idea of how your story should unfold where the twists are who your allies and mentors are and what your final Act looks like enter the manipulator the shadowy producer who subtly rewrites your script without you even realizing it
until one day you find your story line has veered off course the manipulator is skilled in the art of emotional or psychological maneuvering they might use flattery guilt trips or even deceit to steer you in a direction that benefits them you might have a friend who always manages to get you to pay for dinner by saying something like you know I've been having a rough month and you're so successful it wouldn't mean much to you but it would make my day better over time you find that your generosity has been taken advantage of but calling
them out feels uncomfortable because they they framed it as a favor to a friend in need handling a manipulator can be a tricky business one method to counteract their tactics is what some experts call fugging this technique involves agreeing with any truth in the manipulators statements but refusing to be moved by emotional coercion if they say you're so successful you should cover dinner you could respond with you're right that I've been doing well but let's split the bill as we usually do another approach is to set clear boundaries and enforce them if the manipulator wants
you to lend the money or commit to tasks you're uncomfortable with learn to say no assertively keep your tone calm and your words clear I can't lend money but I'm here to offer emotional support sets a boundary while maintaining the Friendship draw in inspiration from stoic thought epic tetus warned us we cannot choose our external circumstances but we can always choose how we respond to them the manipulator thrives on your predictable reactions they manipulate your kindness your guilt or your desire for approval by choosing to respond differently you're taking control of your script again so
if you find a manipulator lurking in your life remember remember that you're the one holding the pen your story line is yours to write and while the cast may include a variety of characters the protagonist's journey your journey should always be guided by your values and decisions reclaim your script and don't let anyone manipulate your life's narrative the eighth type of person to avoid is someone who enjoys indulging in excess consumption moderation is one of the principles of stoic philosophy and for many their accumulation does not solve their issues it merely changes them as senica
put it people who enjoy excessive eating and consumption are always seeking pleasure often to their detriment be it in material possessions food or any other Indulgence their lack of self-control can create an unstable Whirlwind let's consider the example of Jack someone who enjoys indulging in excess consumption he frequently indulges in extravagant shopping attends lavish parties regularly and dines at upscale restaurants often Jack constantly seeks pleasure and happiness through shopping and savoring delicious food he has spent too much money on unnecessary items and frequently stays up late to engage in extravagant activities in this example Jack
is a person who enjoys indulging in excess consumption the kind of person stoic philosophy warns against he seeks pleasure and happiness in hoarding and consuming many things often material possessions or extravagant experiences this leads to a lack of self-control in managing his finances time and energy stoic philosophy emphasizes balance moderation and a focus on spiritual values rather than material ones they believe that true contentment comes from understanding our limitations and living a life based on ethics and self-control in Jack's case he can learn to focus on spiritual Joys and control his greed and excessive consumption
helping his achieve true balance and happiness stoic philosophy understands that true contentment does not come from excess but from balance it is about engaging with the world mindfully cherishing Joys and limiting excess consumption they seek satisfaction in moderation and self-control rather than hoarding or indulging recklessly to achieve a stable and virtuous state of mind they know that this process requires self-management and the ability to cope with personal desires effectively and efficiently the ninth type of person to avoid is the gossip in today's modern world with the ease and speed of communication gossip has become prevalent
these individuals spread stories with little regard for truth or the negative impact they may have associating with them is akin to sewing seeds of mistrust and misunderstanding in your life as Marcus Aurelius once said don't waste time on arguing about what a good man should be be one being a stoic means striving for virtue and Truth engaging in Gossip takes you off that path it's not only important to avoid engaging in gossip but also to avoid those who do not respect these values in summary be cautious of those who share unverified information and stories and
do not place your trust in those who do not uphold morality and Truth imagine you work in a competitive and sensitive work environment you've completed a challenging and important project and you're proud of the results however after a short while you hear from a colleague that there are negative rumors about you and your work circulating within the company in this case the role of the gossip is played by your colleague they've created a tense environment and fostered misunderstandings about you and your work by spreading inaccurate and disrespectful information by participating in this negative gossip the
gossip has harmed not only your work morale but also the overall work environment in such a situation you can apply stoic Philosophy by maintaining your integrity and not letting gossip tarnish your character or morality instead continue to work with virtue and produce high quality work to let your truth and values shine brighter than uncertain rumors the final person to avoid is the Lord of pessimism some people may argue that a gloomy sky has its own Beauty but pessimists only see the promise of rain their minds are like dark rooms with no windows for light to
enter they focus exclusively on negative aspects and are blinded to the opportunity ities that challenges often bring Marcus aelius reminds us reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears let this be a testament to the power of perspective optimism or at least a balanced mindset is considered important in stoic philosophy in stoicism it's not the external events but how we evaluate them that causes disruption stay away from those who constantly wear the cloak of negativity throughout the journey called life our social relationships shape our path I mean who wants someone to dampen the
spirits during Peak moments or lead into a negative mood during challenging times now A quick test for you among these characters have you recently encountered anyone or does someone in your life often have to deal with them leave a comment below I'm genuinely Curious by recognizing and avoiding these 10 types of individuals you need to stay away you can protect your mental peace focus on what truly matters and navigate your stoic Journey with resilience and virtue thank you for watching and if you found this video valuable please like And subscribe to support our ongoing exploration
of stoic philosophy your engagement and commitment to stoic principles contribute to a community of individuals striving for wisdom courage and a life well- lived
