EU MAIOR (Higher Self)

There is a question that has been with us. . .

throughout human history. The big question, which is absolutely abstract. .

. but profound, is: "Why is there something, instead of nothing? " (PHILOSOPHER) Four disciplines have tried to address this question.

Science, Art, Philosophy and Religion. These disciplines have tried to explain. .

. why do we exist, why do things exist. .

. with one major difference: Science was interested in how things work. .

. whereas Philosophy, Art and Religion. .

. were interested in why. Both approaches are necessary.

. . not at the same time, and not the same way.

But both the "how" and the "why" are necessary. The big question: "Does God exist? What is it?

Where is it? What are we doing here? What is life for?

Who am I? Why are we born and die? Is there a meaning to it all?

What is it for? Is it all for nothing? " Who am I?

What am I? (SPIRITUAL LEADER) Am I the person on my ID card? My name is there, and my parents'.

But that's not who I am. The question is: "What are you, human being? " How does a human being function?

Body, mind, and spirit. Are they separated? Are they divided?

Is there something floating separately? Or isn't it all integrated? Lately, I've become very interested.

. . in how much we can learn about the world.

One way to illustrate it. . .

(SCIENTIST) metaphorically, is to think. . .

(SCIENTIST) everything we know is in an island. And this island is surrounded by the unknown. As our knowledge grows.

. . and new tools and theories are developed.

. . this island grows.

But as it grows. . .

so does the border. . .

of the island with the unknown. In other words, the more we know about things. .

. . .

. the more questions arise. .

. which makes us wonder: "How much can we actually learn about the world? " The point being that.

. . this ocean of unknowns.

. . in principle, it is infinite.

Even if our knowledge increases over time. . .

we'll never be able to learn everything about the world. So, we have to live with the realization that. .

. we'll never fully understand the world. .

. which doesn't make us any less human. On the contrary, it makes us more human and less godlike.

Any therapist. . .

who is making progress. . .

with his patient. . .

(HUMANITARIAN LEADER) soon enough this patient. . .

will want to go beyond. . .

the material phenomenon. As he gets comfortable. .

. professionally, emotionally. .

. as he becomes socially integrated. .

. he'll begin to ask questions. "Who am I?

What am I doing here? Where am I going to? My outer purpose in life.

. . is it in harmony with my inner purpose?

" "Who am I? " (THEOSOPHER) That's the big question. (THEOSOPHER) We peel the "layers".

. . and we are constantly surprised.

And even if when we reach the "light". . .

we wonder: "How did I lose it again? " Because this "light". .

. it can easily slip through the fingers. Who says you'll be able to hold on to it?

Some say there is a stage when that happens. I myself have not reached it. In fact, the other day, after a lecture.

. . people were praising me.

I said: "My wife doesn't share your opinions about me. I wish she admired me as much as you do! " In my life, my sport.

. . is a very important tool of self-knowledge.

. . first, because.

. . to be a good professional.

. . you need to know yourself both physically and mentally.

Secondly. . .

because of geography. (SURFER) My sport is deeply connected to nature. .

. (SURFER) which is healthy. You also get to travel.

. . leaving behind.

. . your "cocoon", to understand the world.

. . and see the world in new ways.

Big-wave surfing. . .

is how I see life. I like challenges, you know? If you face a challange, unprepared, you die.

. . but if you are prepared, you learn from it.

My whole life I've tried to understand myself. And I'll spend the rest of it looking. .

. for even more insights. .

. so that I can get somewhere. .

. I haven't reached yet. The search goes on.

It's endless. It's usual for people to look for satisfaction. But it's also usual to find out.

. . that nothing brings me satisfaction forever.

(VEDANTA TEACHER) Nothing truly satisfies me. Everything is insufficient. So, we search: "What will give me fulfillment?

What will give me complete satisfaction? " This search is common, too. But it is important to understand the problem.

. . and analyze the situation, and find out: "What I am suffering from?

Is it because I don't have things that other people do? And if I had them, would I continue to suffer? " Understanding the problem.

. . before looking for the solution, is critical.

We don't always understand the problem. . .

but look for a solution anyway. A solution, for what? You don't know what the problem is!

You won't even know where to look for it. As to the origin of the universe. .

. 15 billion years. .

. and one second ago. .

. there was nothing, according to the most recent. .

. and widely accepted scientific theory. 15 billion years ago the Big Bang happened.

. . "The Big Explosion.

" (NUCLEAR ENGINEER) So, think of this explosion as concentric waves. When you throw a stone into a pond of still water. .

. you get concentric waves. So, let's think about evolution.

. . as concentric waves.

. . like a process unfolding itself.

The first wave was matter. The first thing to emerge after the Big Bang was matter. Matter ermeged.

. . as energy, then subatomic particles.

. . forming atoms, molecules, galaxies.

. . suns, etc.

Subsequently, 5 billion years ago. . .

the Earth was formed, during this first wave. 3. 5 billion years ago.

. . the second big wave came about.

It's when life emerged on Earth. And life began with single-celled organisms. .

. on to a phylogenetic chain of plants and animals. .

. on to the more evolved animals, the mammals. And then, about 1 million years ago.

. . not 1 billion, but 1 million.

. . the third wave came about.

. . which we call "the wave of the mind".

So, there is an expansion of consciousness going on. Traditional science stops here, it doesn't go further. But you must agree with me that.

. . this process is likely to continue.

So, there is a fourth level, spiritually-oriented. . .

that transcends our current level. . .

which is focused on the "ego". . .

and in which we perceive ourselves as individuals. We'll be more than that. We'll be individuals, plus something else.

This concept is known as "the Great Nest of Being". It comes from ancient wisdom traditions. .

. and can be reinterpreted. .

. with the knowledge that evolution has given us. Once a student asked me for an interview.

He came to my house and asked me: (WRITER) "How did you prepare yourself? (WRITER) How did you plan your life. .

. to get where you are? " I noticed he admired me.

. . and wanted to follow in my footsteps.

So I told him: "I got where I am. . .

because everything I planned went wrong. " And that's the truth! So, I'm a writer by accident.

I've been other things: a philosophy teacher, a theologian, a pastor. Now. .

. I'm just an old man. The human being is not his body.

He has a body, moves with it, and takes care of it. . .

(YOGA TEACHER) but he is not the body. So, yoga. .

. is a lifestyle. It's a lifestyle.

. . that nurtures the body and also the mind.

. . works with the energies.

The great yogis did not work their bodies. Have you ever seen an image. .

. of the great yogi Jesus Christ. .

. doing a head stand? Nobody saw it.

Nobody saw the asanas. . .

of the devout St. Theresa. Nobody saw them.

It's a fact. . .

You don't stop practicing yoga. . .

when you can't use your body. I'm old. .

. 89 years old. I still practice yoga.

. . but not with the body.

It's simplistic to think of yoga. . .

as physical exercise. There's a saying. .

. which is very personal. .

. It's been with me for a long time: (DOCTOR) "One day, everything will become nothing. (DOCTOR) And this 'nothing' will be the 'everything'.

. . that we tried so hard to find.

" I don't know where it came from, but it's been with me. . .

for decades. I'm still trying to understand it! But it stuck with me.

We keep talking about health, and self-care. . .

and not just passively asking the doctor: "Give me the drugs! Give me the vitamins! Show me the wonderful therapist.

. . who will touch me and change my life!

". . .

choosing instead self-care. . .

daily care, with what you eat. . .

with how you breathe, and express yourself. A more conscious look at your actions. And that's not simple.

. . because the patient comes to you asking for the usual: "Get me out of this situation now!

I want immediate change! " But what you give him is a path. .

. and you help him on that path. So it's not a change.

. . that will happen right away.

I think the meaning of life is self expression. "Who am I? Where is my self expression?

" And trying to live up to it. . .

however big or small it may be. I think. .

. there is a moment when. .

. "being" is more important than just "doing". The "doing" helps the "being".

. . but the "being" is the basis of the process.

It's a quest for self-transformation, self-knowledge. We learn that we are here on Earth. .

. with a specific purpose. .

. related to our evolution. If I were asked: "What are we doing on Earth?

" We are here to evolve. . .

(SPIRITUALIST AUTHOR) to overcome our limitations. . .

(SPIRITUALIST AUTHOR) and difficulties with relationships. To grow spiritually, morally, intellectually. So, the purpose of life, or it's meaning, would be.

. . the effort to keep evolving.

Guys, I'm really shy. I'm trying so hard! -Would you like some water?

(ASTROLOGER) Never mind, let's go! Wait! I'll have some water.

-Do you wanna eat something? I'll get a cereal bar. In Big Brother, people walk around with this gadget.

How do they shower with it? The meaning of life changes through our lives. The meaning of life for me once was.

. . to fight for a cause, then it was to love a man.

. . then it was.

. . to take care of my daughters.

At times, all of these together. . .

at other times, something taking precedence. But today. .

. the meaning of life is. .

. life. .

. has meaning on its own. I see it differently today.

Today I think. . .

to be alive is the meaning. I read a quote from a French thinker. .

. who was interviewed by a Brazilian newspaper. .

. (PSYCHIATRIST) and he said: "Life has no meaning. .

. but it's not forbidden to give it one. " This view may be.

. . libertarian.

. . but it takes life seriously.

So, life is an individual project. And in saying so, I may sound more anarchist. .

. than someone associated with a particular doctrine. Life is an individual project.

. . .

in which you try to create a story for yourself. A story which, in my opinion. .

. is guided by moral values. I'm very zealous about this aspect.

. . of the human condition.

And the story must also include. . .

some sense of personal growth. So, the meaning of life is to leave this life. .

. better than when we got here. This one is K2, the second highest mountain in the world.

. . (ALPINIST) and the hardest to climb.

(ALPINIST) This is the summit of K2. It's 8611 meters tall. These are the last 600 meters.

It's a huge mountain. It's more striking. .

. and difficult than Mount Everest itself. Given the number of tragedies.

. . K2 is called the "mountain of death".

In terms of successful climbs and deaths. . .

it has the highest mortality rates. It's very difficult and treacherous. I reached the summit on my third attempt.

And I vowed never to return to K2. It's a beautiful mountain. .

. and it deserves respect. (1ST SUMMIT ATTEMPT) But it's also very difficult.

We didn't lack technique. It wasn't our fault. This year the conditions at K2 are extreme.

. . they are very difficult.

We got up to 8000 meters. . .

found a lot of snow. . .

and sadly had to give up the climb. (3RD SUMMIT ATTEMPT) The mountain. I had to go to it to find myself.

. . to see myself in a mirror.

Climbing a mountain. . .

under physical stress, and often taking risks. . .

is very insightful. You start to think about your whole life. .

. at that moment. It's amazing how my mind wonders.

. . when I'm on the mountain.

You get to know yourself. . .

you begin to solve problems within. . .

and gain strength to face the world, people. . .

and situations. So, there's an evolution. I feel that I evolve.

. . when I go to the mountain and come back to the city.

People have asked me: "Where are your trophies? " I don't win a trophy, or a medal. .

. for reaching a summit. One of the greatest rewards is that wonderful view.

. . because it gives me a moment of contemplation.

In that moment I find myself. In that moment I commune with God. One of our challenges as human beings.

. . is to know ourselves.

St. Augustine himself. .

. did everything he did, trying to answer: (THEOLOGIAN) "Who am I, after all? " We ask ourselves that question.

And I believe it to be an unanswerable question. Because the human being is a project in the making. He is a hub of relationships facing all directions.

Inward, outward. . .

to nature, to the universe. . .

to the absolutely transcendent, which is God. And he finds fulfillment when he engages these relationships. Therefore, the more he connects with others.

. . the richer he becomes.

. . and the more possibilites he finds within himself.

So, he's not a closed system. He's an open system. Surely, every question.

. . requires an answer.

But that answer raises a new question. So, we move from one question to the next. .

. and we still don't know who we are. We're always searching.

. . We find mirrors of ourselves everywhere.

. . yet we can't relate to any of them.

As they say in the East: "The prison is Maya, the illusion. " Not knowing who I am, where I come from, where I'm going. (PSYCHOLOGIST) And as the good sailors say: (PSYCHOLOGIST) "No wind is favorable.

. . if you don't know your destination.

" So, being free means becoming aware. . .

and taking charge of your own existence. Taking ownership of your own existence. It is not an easy task.

. . but we have to do it.

This will bring us happiness. Right now. .

. well. .

. I feel happy. My creative matrix.

. . my view of the universe.

. . my understanding of the world.

. . emerged as I walked.

Walking and walking. . .

into the Cerrado. . .

into the Caatinga and the forests. (PHOTOGRAPHER) Soon, I found my life's purpose. .

. which is to spread beauty around. To make people think.

To incite. That's it! That sums up my work.

The revelation takes place. . .

in a fleeting moment. It's an experience. .

. of meeting God and beauty. It's a memory.

. . that may or may not be captured.

It doesn't need to be photographed. It's very personal. You don't take photographs for other people.

You do it for yourself. Only then, you share! It's always difficult to talk about our own qualities.

Mainly because. . .

when you talk about yourself. . .

(POLITICAL LEADER) that person is not really you. It is who you want others to think you are. It's a trap.

. . because.

. . you can measure people's qualities.

. . not when they talk about themselves.

. . but when they talk about others.

Right? I know you want something else. You're thinking I'm avoiding the question.

But. . .

one quality. . .

that we must cherish. . .

and I'm not suggesting that I have it. . .

but, rather, that I'd like to have it. . .

it is to realize that I'm fragile. I'm incomplete. I'm imperfect.

It's the realization that I depend. . .

on others, who complete me. . .

who sooth me, and trouble me. I live in the backlands of Pernambuco. .

. in a rural community called Jatiúca. .

. district of Santa Cruz da Baixa Verde. In my experience.

. . women were silenced.

. . by their fathers, husbands and brothers.

I had to help them. . .

rebuild their self-esteem. Why is self-esteem so important. .

. to a person, to a farm woman? (EDUCATOR) When I care about myself.

. . (EDUCATOR) When I respect and value myself.

. . I don't let anyone disrespect me.

. . hit me, or make me feel unworthy.

We reach out to the women. . .

using different exercises. During body exercises, we asked them: "Who owns your body? " They said: "It's my husband's, my children's".

The body was never theirs. That gave us the opportunity to begin the transformation: "My body belongs to me. Not to the church, the government, or men.

My body belongs to me! " Let's greet each other. .

. appreciating our bodies. .

. which allow us to live, walk, and greet each other. Be sure to change partners.

Let's greet each other with our feet! Our beautiful and wonderful feet! They take us to the farm, and everywhere else.

Our beautiful feet! I was in a meeting. .

. and there was a lady there, age sixty or so. She wouldn't stop crying.

I didn't want to ask: "Why are you crying? " in front of everyone. So I waited for a private moment.

. . and I asked her: "Why are you crying?

" She said: "Oh, Vanete. . .

you're saying so many beautiful things so many important things. . .

but I can't change my life anymore. That's why I'm crying. I have a sexist husband.

. . who thinks he knows everything.

How can I change that, now that I have children and grandchildren? " I said: "Don't cry. You can change!

" -"How so? ! " "You can share your experience.

You can teach the others. . .

the younger women, your granddaughters. . .

to live differently. They can change their lives now. Can you think of a greater contribution?

" Her face just glowed! When someone asks: "Would you change something in yourself? " I say: "Gladly!

" In fact, it would bother me. . .

to meet an old acquaintance, and hear: "Cortella, you're still the same! " Can you imagine. .

. in a world that is constantly changing, to remain frozen? I hate the idea of having a frozen life.

. . with frozen corpses.

To use an old phrase. . .

"I'm not ashamed of the men I've been. " But I keep in mind that I've had many lives. .

. that reinvented themselves. Contrary to what many people think.

. . we're not born ready, and wear out.

We are born unready, and make ourselves up. I wasn't born ready in 1954, and got worn out since. I was born unready, and made myself up.

Stoves, shoes, fridges. . .

They get worn out! So, yes, I want to change. I want to change my aesthetic sensibility.

I want to improve my ability to listen. . .

to see, to enjoy flavors. I want to change my behavior. .

. towards people I live with. .

. and make it better. And that's good!

Being the same person. . .

persistently, is not a sign of coherence. . .

it's a sign of stubbornness. Im a filmmaker, which means I work with lies. .

. and at the same time, with the sheer truth. When I was 18.

. . (FILMMAKER) I studied with Antunes Filho.

. . at the Center for Theater Research.

. . and we had to recite phrases.

. . for acting exercises.

And I liked to recite a short poem. . .

by Fernando Pessoa: "The poet likes to pretend. He pretends so well. .

. that the pain he pretends to feel, is actually real. " So.

. . all the time, because I work.

. . with reinventing the world.

. . Even in a documentary, you're reinventing.

You set forth your vision. . .

choosing which segments stay on the film. . .

and which ones are left out. So, this is something I'm always thinking about. I recall a crisis I had.

. . when I was directing a film.

It was the first week of production. I was still getting used to the film, the actors, and the crew. Things were not flowing yet.

I remember one morning, 5:30 am. . .

going to the set, I was leaving home. . .

and I just froze, I couldn't move. . .

and I had this. . .

sort of existential crisis: "Why did I choose a profession. . .

that makes me reinvent life? Who am I to say what life is? " It's a crazy profession.

. . and I see no point in it.

It's more important for me to live life. . .

and have the experiences myself. . .

instead of saying how life should be. At that point, my husband and screenwriter. .

. noticing that I was stuck, he said. .

. "Enough! There's a van waiting for you outside.

We'll talk about this later! " He snapped me out of it. In that moment, I was really questioning: "Why invest so much to reinvent the truth?

" In every work of art there's an element of pain. We create beauty to fight against tragedy. Nietzche makes that point in his book.

. . "The Birth of Tragedy".

. . from a music point of view.

The Greeks. . .

had a keen sense of tragedy. For the Christians, there's always a happy ending. Tragedy may strike, but you'll go to heaven, and be happy.

Not the Greeks! To them, tragedy was tragedy. Hence the question: "If they were so overwhelmed.

. . by the spirit of tragedy, why didn't they kill themselves?

" Nietzche suggests that. . .

they didn't kill themselves. . .

because they cherished beauty. Beauty allowed them. .

. to look at tragedy face to face. I'm self-taught.

I learned to paint by myself. In my journey, I always keep in mind. .

. the evolution of my spirit. I, as a spirit.

. . and not just the Tatiana I am today.

Of course, I'm Tatiana, too. This is my journey. .

. (PAINTER) and my art helps me with it. (PAINTER) Because.

. . it's a continuous process of self-knowledge.

I'm constantly dealing with myself. . .

with issues inside, so. . .

my art helps me a lot. I never leave my job unscathed. I become a channel.

. . and get connected to a certain humanity.

. . to life itself.

(ACTRESS) You get connected to a volcano inside of you. . .

(ACTRESS) and let it all out. My experience in acting, and my preparation. .

. begins with emptying myself, and opening up space. .

. so that this inspiration can come and use me. In some jobs I'm more successful at this.

If given enough time. . .

the ritual. . .

becomes more meticulous. You empty yourself and the inspiration just flows. You are constantly surprised with what shows up.

It's as if. . .

your ego becomes absent. And that's pretty cool! However crazy the inspiration may be.

. . it's like opening yourself to the subconscious.

What you once experienced in dreams. . .

now you experience in life, art, and acting. That freedom that exists in the dreams, you know? The stage gives you that opportunity.

. . whereas normal daily activities.

. . do not.

The work of the actor and the clown. . .

are equally rich in self-knowledge. (ACTOR) If you want them to be. You have to explore.

. . deeply.

. . your love, if you want to play Romeo.

But if you can't love. . .

you won't be able to play Romeo. How can you play him. .

. if you can't love your own wife? !

The circus defies our natural laws. People fly, walk on ropes. .

. they juggle objects. .

. make things disappear. They have perfect bodies.

So, why is the clown there? Well, he's the one who falls! The clown makes mistakes.

He's there to say: "You are human! OK? Watch out for gravity!

" Why is the clown so clumsy? Why does he bump his head, and fall into a hole? Think of who you are: I'm that, over there.

But people want me to be. . .

this, over here, so. . .

I run into the microphone. This is the clown. This is what the clown does.

Again, my dream is over there. . .

but something caught my attention here. So, I bump into the waiter. Making mistakes!

Making mistakes is the noble art of the clown! Imperfection. The acceptance of your own inadequacy.

I'm inadequate, so what? Are you going to feel depressed about it? Or should you laugh?

! I read this quote once: "Sometimes we are condemned to be happy. " (MUSICIAN) I like this quote.

(MUSICIAN) It explains a lot of things. -What does it explain? For example.

. . I didn't start playing the piano early.

I decided to learn the piano. . .

a little later. . .

when I was 18. That's when I decided to be a pianist. And.

. . once I realized that.

. . I had no choice, but to be a pianist.

It's as if I had been condemned to it. Back then, I wasn't sure if I would play the piano well. Yet I knew that if I didn't, I would be very unhappy.

So. . .

gradually, I realized that. . .

sometimes, life itself. . .

gives you a challenge. . .

and you have no choice, but to face it. That's the reason. If happiness had a sound.

. . it would be the sound of silence.

But also. . .

the music of Bach. . .

excerpts from the 9th Symphony. . .

excerpts from Mendelssohn's Octet for Strings. . .

excerpts of music. . .

from around the world. . .

the sound of a newborn child. . .

among other things. Happiness, to me, is peace of mind. If you have inner peace, you're happy.

If you don't have that inner peace. . .

you're not happy. Happiness is feeling good about yourself. .

. and those around you. Simply put, that's what it is.

It's also where you are. To be happy I have to be. .

. in the woods, with Nature. Often times happiness is.

. . the feeling of being in the right place, at the right time.

Regardless of what's going on around you. It's about just "being". You stop trying to manipulate life.

You don't worry about the "doing". . .

all the time. It's to be free from the desire to get somewhere. .

. and the feeling that something is missing. Something which may be beyond my awareness.

. . or beyond my reach.

My happiness depends on the happiness of others. It depends on the happiness of my husband. .

. my family, my friends. It's very difficult to be happy.

. . without food or shelter.

. . if you are sick and helpless.

It's very difficult. There are basic things you just gotta have. -Why are there so many views on happiness?

Because each person is happy in a different way. We are individuals. We are unique.

And equal! And the beauty. .

. of the human condition. .

. is that we can be. .

. completely original and completely equal. It's a paradox.

That's why people will give you different answers. . .

regarding happiness. Life, through nature. .

. is constantly manifesting happiness. You'll notice that people are always happier.

. . (EDUCATOR) when they seek the sun.

. . (EDUCATOR) the beach, a waterfall.

. . when they seat around a fire, under a full moon.

You have this pulse of of energy and joy. Happiness does not require money. It does not require social status.

. . to manifest itself.

Happiness does not require offerings. It does not require an MBA degree. .

. or any kind of schooling. Just tune into it.

So my answer is obvious: happiness is a state of mind. Happiness is in everything. .

. and everywhere. (WRITER) I like the image.

. . of a goldfish, swimming in a vast sea.

. . and asking another fish: "Where is this ocean everyone talks about?

" I think that happiness. . .

may be known as an interior experience. . .

but I think it's also everywhere. Our natural state is one of happiness. However, life.

. . as we perceive it.

. . reality, as we know it.

. . creates a series of phenomenons.

. . which impress us.

. . more than happiness itself.

So we pay more attention. . .

to the phenomenons around us. . .

and forget that happiness. . .

is always offering itself to us. So, if we removed the veils. .

. of the phenomenons around us. .

. I think we'd live in a field of happiness. Once I was.

. . in my country house in Petrópolis.

. . and I was doing a relaxation exercise.

We have a pool there, with spring water. (MUSICIAN) The water comes in and out. .

. (MUSICIAN) without any chemicals. It's a rudimentary pool that uses natural water.

I like to seat next to it. . .

to do breathing exercises, meditation. . .

and during one of these exercises. . .

pranayama, as the Hindus call it. . .

I had a feeling of being deep inside. . .

in a part of me that was pure light. . .

. totally indifferent to the world around me. That's how it happened.

I wasn't trying to get in touch with my higher self! I was just doing an exercise. .

. as I do almost every day. .

. specially up there, where the air is fresher. .

. when I was surprised by this. .

. epiphany, this insight. .

. that will stay with me forever. A happy moment in my life.

. . was a moment of "metaphysical transcendence", so to speak.

It's funny hear a scientist say this, but it's true. When I was 15, my older brother took me to an island. He used to go there often.

. . he was a bit of a hippie.

Getting there, he made me seat at "Whale Rock". It was a huge granite rock, 5 meters high, with a leader. "Seat here.

Think about the world. Meditate. We'll talk later!

" So, I sat there. . .

and there was a blooming tree above me. . .

and that magnificent ocean. . .

and I saw a school of fish jumping. At that moment, I felt I wasn't me anymore. .

. I was all those things. It was a very spiritual moment for me.

And I felt. . .

I felt part of something bigger. Perhaps that was the moment. .

. when I realized that my life's quest. .

. was to understand this world. I consider myself happy.

. . and quite restless.

When I'm in the forest. . .

sometimes I get into a trance. . .

sometimes I remain in complete silence. I have many moments of happiness. Obviously, if we were happy all the time.

. . we wouldn't know what happiness is.

and possibly wouldn't appreciate it as much. I have 5 granddaughters. .

. and now a grandson was born. Holding that baby in my arms.

. . smiling at me.

. . it makes me so happy.

And. . .

discussing it with my son, he said. . .

he was so happy, that he was afraid! And I said, "Me, too! " Because when the happiness is intense.

. . we fear that something bad might happen.

It may seem paradoxical. . .

but we are very much afraid of happiness. It's as if an impending tragedy would approach us. .

. every time we felt very happy. Evidently, we are actually afraid of losing our happiness.

But it feels like the odds of that happening increase. . .

when we are very happy. All religious traditions say. .

. "You have to cross the dark night, the great desert. " Once I climbed Mount Fuji, which is a volcano.

It's wonderful. You go up the mountain. .

. and it's beautiful. You see flowers, and beautiful grass.

. . but gradually the vegetation vanishes.

. . and the climb gets steeper, and more difficult.

Spiritual practice is like that! But many people want to stay where it's green. The base of the mountain is pretty and confortable.

"I see it! " You go up a little bit, and have a glimpse. .

. of yourself, the world, and your life. And you say: "That's good enough!

" Further on, "I'll get tired. " Is that enough? For some, it is.

And that's fine. But for others, that isn't enough. To see the bigger picture, we have to climb higher.

Yeah, this ending is cool. I truly believe that our greatest self discoveries. .

. do not require. .

. a large telescope. .

. a microscope. .

. or a cave in a mountain. .

. (MUSICIAN) for us to find ourselves. It has to be simpler!

If our educational system stimulated this process. . .

it would be easier for all of us to succeed. A magic moment! Inside and out!

Very good. (IN 2000 MARCELO WAS SHOT DURING A ROBBERY ATTEMPT) The damage to the arm was not neurological. It was a muscle injury.

Now. . .

I had a punctured lung and. . .

some of the bullets. . .

affected my spinal cord. They didn't actually touch the spinal cord. .

. but the heat and vibration were enough to damage it. So.

. . my injury was T4.

. . which is about here.

. . but over time it moved down, after the spinal shock, the injury moved down.

Still, I can't walk. . .

and since the spine wasn't severed. . .

I feel a lot of pain. For 7 years of my life. .

. I had no plans. I lived one day at a time.

My focus. . .

from the moment I woke up until I went to bed. . .

was keeping some kind of balance. . .

for that day. There's a quote by Gandhi that says. .

. "Our anger can move the world. " I think that.

. . by "anger", it means.

. . using those feelings that aren't so noble.

. . and channelling them.

Making a windmill. Transforming that inner storm into a different kind of energy. For me, the greatest catalyst is not pain.

It's crisis. Because crisis refines, and it purifies. Crisis.

. . dissolves the resistances.

They melt and we are left with the essence. Of course, there is pain and disappointment. But the pain.

. . it serves.

. . or belongs to a much broader process.

Doubt, crisis. . .

and even depression to some extent. . .

they are welcomed for making us think: "I don't know, I'm not sure. What I have here doesn't suit me anymore. Where will I go?

I don't know! " So, I keep looking: "Ok! I'll go this way now!

" Life is both light and darkness, isn't it? People. .

. who are afraid of thunder, suffer when it rains. But if thunder is not a problem.

. . rain is OK, right?

And if you're in the countryside, rain is actually welcomed. It's all relative. Grief is a natural and important emotion.

. . because it helps us to mourn.

. . and to let die.

. . so that there may be a rebirth.

You can only be reborn if you are willing to "die". Emotions exist to be experienced! If you're sad, accept it.

Cry! "I'm sad. " "Why?

" "Because of so and so. " "I need to cry a little. " You cried.

Feel better? Great. Let's go out and have a beer!

You know. . .

we pay too much attention. . .

to our emotions. Everything is temporary. Our emotions are swift!

They're instantaneous. The rest is memory. .

. . .

. which we keep recalling. We love recalling memories, especially the unpleasant ones.

There is a story about two monks crossing the river. One of them helps a young woman to cross. Monks are not supposed to touch women, right?

So the other monk says, angrily: "You carried that girl! " "Yes, but I left her there. And you're still carrying her!

" Hardships are normal. Let them go! Letting go is hard.

. . but it is a lesson we must learn.

When we open our hands, they can hold the entire universe. When we clinch to something, we limit ourselves. Sometimes we clinch.

. . to pain, to suffering.

"I'm suffering. . .

more than you are! You don't understand my pain". Of course I do!

Suffering is not exclusive. . .

to the evil and wicked ones. Good people suffer, too! We must learn the lesson that suffering brings.

See. . .

This is yoga! Looking for a clearer, more beautiful view. .

. of everything. You've touched on it before.

. . but please comment on this quote: "Life is too short to be small.

" One day, Benjamin Disraeli. . .

who was a great politician and thinker in the 19th century. . .

from Britain. . .

he served as prime minister for Queen Victoria. . .

Benjamin Disraeli said: "Life is too short to be small. " Life being short as it is. .

. we shouldn't make it small. And what is a small life?

It's a life that is superficial, banal, futile. . .

a life that is, above all. . .

small, tiny. Life is an opportunity to improve myself, and others. As I always say.

. . one day I will pass away.

Afterall, I'm mortal. Humans are mortal. All other animals are immortal.

. . because, unlike us, they don't know they will die.

Your dog is sound asleep right now. and your cat has no worries. You and I, we know that we will die.

From this standpoint. . .

death is not relevant, because it is a fact. What matters is what I accomplish before I die. .

. so that my life is not banal, superficial, futile, small. When I die, I want people to miss me.

When I'm gone - and I will be gone - I want to be missed. That doesn't mean being famous. It means being important.

There is a difference between being famous and important. Many people are not famous and are very important. To import is to take inside.

To be important is to be taken inside. I want to be important. For that reason, I can't afford to have a small life.

And life becomes small when. . .

it is isolated, and self-absorbed. I need to overflow. .

. to go beyond my borders. I need to communicate.

I need to join and share. My life, which is bound to be short. .

. I don't want it to be small. Maybe the reason we suffer so much.

. . is because we're born without an instructional manual.

Not knowing how we function, we suffer. The source of our suffering is ignorance. So, nothing can be more important.

. . than something that will liberate us.

Without self-knowledge, how can we be free. . .

if we cause our own suffering, due to ignorance? Erasmo Silveira Neto is my real name. .

. my Christian name. (LGBT ACTIVIST) And he is a boy.

. . (LGBT ACTIVIST) who lives in my heart.

A boy who was well-raised. . .

who went to school. . .

and was loved by his whole family. He was a happy boy. That's why Greta misses him so.

My family was hurt. . .

some people felt betrayed. . .

so I decided to spare them. I left home. .

. and went to live with friends, in different places. Some of these places were good, others weren't.

After a while I heard my sister was looking for me. . .

my family was looking for me, my godfather. So, eventually. .

. I decided to face them. I returned home.

. . and things got.

. . calmer.

Ironically, we never sat down. . .

to settle this. I just came back. .

. my parents took me in. .

. and the three of us sat on the couch. .

. without saying a word. I just asked them if I could stay.

And I stayed. For me, self-knowledge was a liberating process. And it still is.

I'm fifty-five years old. . .

but I still can't categorize myself as a transgender. . .

transvestite or homosexual. When people ask me. .

. I never know how to answer. All I can say is that I'm a human being.

. . and I feel normal, in my opinion.

Of course, there are people who think differently. I've felt their prejudice. .

. and seen the obstacles along the way. Still, I don't categorize myself.

Ever since I can remember. . .

my quest has been. . .

to unravel the mysteries of the universe. As a 7-year-old child. .

. I would ask: "Mother, who created the world? " "It was God.

" "But who made God? " "Don't think about it, or you'll go crazy! " That fueled my curiosity.

I realized that was my life's mission. I'm passionate about not knowing. To me, doubt is a good thing.

So, do we need to know everything? No, we don't! We just need to know.

. . and keep learning.

The desire to learn is more important. . .

than having all the answers. This difference is essential. At the entrance of the Oracle of Delphi, it reads: "Man, know thyself.

" And all the great traditions say that. . .

the most important thing is to know. . .

who you are, and learn about yourself. We want to help all beings. .

. choose the right path, and find the truth. At the same time.

. . the more you try to push people through the door.

. . the more they will turn away from it.

So, there's nothing we can do. We think there is, because of our ego. There's nothing we can do, except show the way: "There is a door.

There is a way. " But everyone must walk his or her path. People are waiting for something to happen to finally be happy.

When I grow up, graduate, get married. . .

when I have kids. . .

when I have money, property, health. . .

People keep postponing being happy. . .

and never are. I like this saying: "Happiness is not a destination; it's way of traveling. " We need to focus on the path.

I started to believe. . .

that I might be happy in a wheelchair. . .

when I gave up happiness as a goal. . .

and decided instead to hang on to. . .

the path that might take me there. The path to happiness. Will I get there?

I don't know. . .

but I have a path. . .

which is better than sitting still. The satisfaction goes beyond reaching the top of the mountain. The knowledge you acquire.

. . looking around during the climb.

The climb is not reaching the summit. . .

but the path to get there. Life is a perpetual farewell, isn't it? You leave the womb.

. . and start walking with your own legs.

When my daughter was 2 years old. . .

she began to walk. . .

and I gave her a small backpack. . .

and Luiz said: "A backpack already! " It's so symbolic. .

. of hitting the road, right? "But 2 is too young to have a backpack!

" But it's true. Life is an endless backpack. Grab yours and go!

My big question is: "What is waiting for us on the other side? " "When I close my eyes, what will I see? " "What does God look like?

" And. . .

finally, "Who is this Mystery? " That is the question that haunts me. .

. day and night. What is my essence?

Who am I? That's the big question. I doubt there is a bigger one.

. . because all others revolve around it.

Suppose it was: "Who is God? " Perhaps these two questions are one and the same. Perhaps our essence is God.

Who am I? Who am I?