discovering your authentic self is like becoming a magnet that attracts everything you desire being you after all is the only thing you'll ever be best at the problem is you don't know who the [ __ ] you are and it's holding you back there's a saying that pain introduces a man to himself and that's what this video is about the pain a man must go through to find himself and uncover his core 3 years ago I decided I was done with a normal life I want want to live life on my terms I broke up
with my girlfriend I said I would never leave you and you never will but I've got a job to do too where I'm going you can't follow what I've got to do you can't be any part of and I booked a oneway ticket to Thailand I didn't know it at the time but that decision to throw away normal and go on an adventure would change my life forever as with all good stories that Adventure has consisted of success and failure parties alcohol sobriety and everything in between in the same time I've managed to earn a
couple million dollars doing what I love and this video is a guide on how you can do this thing unlock who you truly are and the success that comes with it I genuinely think the hardest thing in the world is to be yourself and the problem is the less yourself you are the less success you have the only times I've had success in my life the only times life started to give me things that I wanted was by becoming who I was rather than what everybody else had told me to be so this video is
for those of you that feel lost for anyone that feels lost as I did 5 years ago I was an alcoholic and a drug addict 3 years ago I had a 9 to-5 and now I'm sitting in Dubai with multiple online businesses and a personal brand so although I'm not 100% sure even who I am I've got part of the way there and I'm going to share with you what I've learned on that Journey over 5 years and my system for getting closer to who you truly are how you can unlock the power of being
yourself and how to discover it what pain need to go through as a man to try and discover those things so without further Ado let's begin every good story and every good life I believe starts with a journey the hero has to go on a journey and the journey is to find himself to uncover his true power and that's why I believe the first thing you should do is leave the nest leave your hometown when you're in a HomeTown it provides you with a lot of comfort it's where you know it's where you've grown up
and the problem with Comfort is it doesn't force you to grow and the people around you already know a current version of you so when I left the UK I went on a mission alone the reason why is because when I got to Thailand I could become the person that I wanted to be that my friends is my past to Freedom I'm [ __ ] Mr worldwide now when I was in the UK I was known as a bit of a party animal I had a 9 to-5 drob I was a sales guy and people
kind of like that personality the friends that you have obviously like those parts of you they like hanging out with you they like partying with you your family like the way that you are and often people find it inauthentic when you go and try and become who you truly want to be and that's just because it no longer serves them and their life so the best way to break that is to move away from home as I did I moved to Thailand halfway across the world and I went there alone without knowing anybody and a
strange thing happened as soon as I got to Thailand I found myself becoming this person that I'd had a dream about in my mind I found myself not limited by inhibitions anymore and able to go after what I truly wanted and start making content day two we're out here we're in Bangkok nice pull out there Flo today at 4:50 out to H Samui which I'm very excited about and when I met people I would tell them I was a content creator even when I'd had no success yet and I started to live that version of
me and when that started to happen money started to flow to me the journey I took has been around 3 years now since I left home and I feel like I've had 30 years of growth in 3 years the power of these new experiences causes you to level up at such a rate that I now feel and I kind of act way above my age which is just 25 and I've achieved things far past the average for my age and I strongly think that's down to being able to go away and have an adventure I'm
going on an adventure life should really be an adventure and that Adventure will challenge you it will be painful and that's what causes you to look inside when there there's no support around you and find out who you truly are now the next lesson I've learned so far that's helped me really uncover myself was not to fear heartbreak I've had heartbreak many times in my life from when I was young with relationships to heartbreak with friends and family being away from them and heartbreak has always led to growth because it can be a huge source
of pain heartbreak is like nitroglycerin fuel and it can blow you up [Music] it can destroy you I've seen many friends I've seen family members be crushed by heartbreak but for those Among Us that learn to use heartbreak to their advantage heartbreak gives you a chance to look inwards a lot of people will go and find love and the reason they find it is because they don't feel fulfilled inside themselves they don't feel happy with the way that their life is going so they look for love now love is just a mask because you can
project onto somebody else and use somebody else to make you feel good to make you feel success to make you feel loved but it's just a facade because you always need that drug I think of Love Like Drugs you always need that drug and you always need more and more until the pressure on the the relationship of you needing more and more love causes it to explode now if you don't fear that if you stop fearing that and you understand that it's okay to full love and it's also okay to have your heartbroken because every
heartbreak will lead you closer to who you truly are because heartbreak for a man can be taken in two ways you can go off the cliff and you can self-destruct or you can go the other way and you can use that power to self-develop to self-improve so every heartbreak I've had every mistake I've made with women every time I felt like this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me has allowed me to grow because I've taken that anger and that fuel and I've pushed into my training into my body and I've gone on
periods of self-discovery when I'm alone and I spend time on my own and I start looking at who I truly am and what I want to be in the mistakes that I've made and in the end you grow wiser now lesson number three is about alcohol drugs and sobriety because I've had extended periods of of using alcohol of using drugs and then extended periods of sobriety the thing about sobriety and this is something I got from a book called turning pro by Steven pressfield a fantastic book very short read if you want to if you
want to get into it Steven pressfield says the artist and the addict are essentially the same and they're dealing with the problem that we all face and that's the pain of The Human Experience and trying to deal with with that the artist uses the pain of The Human Experience to create art to create videos to act to create a business he uses that pain to push him forwards and change his reality however the addict feels that same pain and instead of finding a productive Outlet he uses that pain to destroy himself he finds his fake
high and I've done both of these things I've used creativity to get rid of that pain and I've also used drugs and alcohol to get rid of that pain the problem is with creativity you're not harming yourself yourself you're actually creating something beautiful and it builds your life and you feel fulfilled from it and alcohol and drugs are temporary that's I'm I'm not going to pass judgment on you if you if you use that stuff but understand that it's a facade it's all a fugazi you know what a fugazi is fugazi it's a fake yeah
fugazi fugazi it's a Wy it's a woozy it's a fairy dust it doesn't exist it's never landed it is no matter it's not on the elemental chart it it's not [ __ ] real a temporary fix and it's Tak can you further away from your personality and the only true way to become happy as a man is to find who you are sober and create the book that I used to get sober for the first time was the easy way to control alcohol by Alan Carr that really helped give me a mindset shift to controlling
alcohol not letting it control me when I took away that crutch of alcohol and drugs it gave me the pain I needed to make change all of my best periods of life and the times I'm most proud of myself have come from those periods of sobriety because it's you stick to your goals and you find who you truly are and the thing that fulfills you lesson number four was that the human memory is shockingly bad and the way I discovered this was by journaling every day I'd write a journal at the end of the day
I'd just have a journal page on notion and I would write in how I was feeling for the day and the problem with the human memory is you forget so quickly your previous problems from the past but when you have a journal there you can keep track of these problems and you can go back a month and see oh [ __ ] I'm doing the same things over and over again I'm always self-destruct ing in this certain way and that was a massive game Cher for me because I actually realized something when I looked through
my journal when I was having the same problems come up and I was trying to get to know myself I realized that I was getting a lack of sleep a lack of sleep led to a lack of discipline a lack of discipline led to not completing the tasks I set myself which led to no feeling of fulfillment or happiness then I would find happiness with alcohol and drugs then life would get worse I would have a crisis and a lot of pain that I had to deal with with that would lead to discipline discipline would
lead to better sleep better productivity and a happy life that equaled success success equal partying that led to a lack of sleep which led to a lack of discipline and that was the Perpetual cycle of my life and and still can be sometimes though I I understand it of I've identified it and try to control it that's really what I try to protect if you protect your sleep if you protect the basics of your life your self-discipline which will'll go into in this video If you protect your self discipline and the basics of your life
everything else runs freely lesson number five Blood Sweat and Tears I've found that only in the darkest hours can a man uncover his true character I've spent periods of my life avoiding pain avoiding struggle running towards comfort and never felt fulfilled and then I've been so pleasantly surprised by giving myself challenges by signing up for martial arts by signing up for competitive fights which I've won and I've lost but every time I've done that period of discipline every time I've pushed myself further than I possibly could when I've had the darkest days The Darkest Hours
the biggest problems in my life there's a seed of hope that I've found inside of those hours that gives you all the Fulfillment that you need when you look at yourself in the mirror and you've dealt with something hard the right way even though it was painful and you start to walk a little bit taller you start to be a little bit prouder so if you want to find yourself you need challenge you need to go on an adventure and you need to push yourself to the Limit and I think the easiest way to do
that as a man is to sign up for a competitive fight because fights are not about the physical they are about controlling the mental they are about understanding if you are the person that you say you are and this can become a very difficult thing to deal with for me as you will have seen in the intro this video and I can show you again now I lost a fight that I put my all into in my training up to that fight my first professional fight I I live streamed it I had it go out
to my whole audience and I lost that fight and I had to deal with the fact that I was not as good as I thought I was and it allowed me to learn more about myself and it allowed me to deal with a new set of problems and become stronger inside and show that I could deal with a loss and that tested my character it tested who I was and it actually made me more fulfilled and I will come back and have another fight hopefully before the end of this year but we'll see what happens
there and I've also won fights before I had a fight an MMA fight which I can bring up now that I won by submission rein naked choke in a second round and the feelings from that you you then have this huge surge of confidence that you can use to take steps in other areas of your life and these are both very important lessons so if you have not done it so far and you want to understand yourself and you want to become authentic to be yourself and be authentic you have to have the ability to
protect yourself because you have to be able to protect your opinions and your values and your views towards other people lesson number six in finding yourself is Solitude you cannot find find yourself surrounded by the noise and clutter of other people you have to find yourself alone I say to people if you find yourself never being able to stay alone that's when you need it most and if you find yourself never wanting to meet other people that's probably when you should go and see your friends because there's introverted and extroverted personalities so the extrovert needs
more time alone that he naturally won't get because he always wants to be around other people and the introvert actually needs to see other people for new ideas and fresh inspiration as long as says they're the right guys when you take Solitude there's a few ways you have to do this you can't look at your phone you can't have entertainment that's not Solitude that's distraction you can't have music I would recommend you spend an hour alone in your room with no distractions no phone you spend an hour thinking just thinking and seeing what comes into
your mind and you write some things down on a piece of paper and you start to discover what you really want what your mind wanders to when you are left alone and Solitude for me is is one of the most beautiful things I think men that want to create something you have to take time away from the people around you you have to find your core you have to find who you truly are before you can build a team around you you have to become very solid at knowing what you actually want lesson number seven
is something that I've leared over time by becoming progressively crazier and crazier and posting more content and just doing my thing and realizing that nobody gives a [ __ ] what you do nobody cares because we all are inherently selfish and we just think about ourselves the majority of the time so I used to get very very concerned when I was first going out into the social media world that everyone was going to judge me or what my friends going to think and the thing is people do not care anywhere near as much as you
think some people view that as a bad thing and for me personally I find that very liberating because I know I could do pretty much anything and everyone forget about it in a week's time life if you look at it is incredibly short and to spend any time not going after what you truly want I believe is a waste because you really can do anything you put your mind to if another human could do it then you could also do it and that that's what I think maybe I'm crazy but for me it has served
me very well and that started by just letting go of judgment by understanding people don't care and testing the things you want to test and running towards fear being scared and having fear the things I was scared of most through my journey through my life so far have always been been the things that have turned into the most beautiful moments in my life that have led to growth so if you're worried right now about being your authentic self just remember that nobody really cares and when you try and be someone else people can tell I'm
not afraid to be who I am I'm not afraid to talk about my past I'm not afraid that occasionally I'm a degenerate and I don't need to be perfect because none of us are and anyone that says that they are is is lying to you and they're they're covering things up and I think we can all tell that so when you find someone authentic when they just live how they want to live and they don't pass judgments on others I I find it to be a very endearing thing so just make sure whatever quirks you
have enjoy them because when I became the person that I am today and I started talking how I wanted to talk and I didn't copy anyone else and I got inspiration from others about their discipline and things that they do but I just became who I was and interested in what I do and the more I lean into that the more successful I become and the more people like me and the more I try and be somebody else the more at about five in my face so I think that's really all you need to know
in terms of becoming comfortable in yourself is that it's your biggest superpower the quirks that you have personally will take you all the way if you can just learn to express them lesson number eight is to find a purpose to find a craft to hone to find something to put your time into something that you can productively work on day in and day out and allow some of your creativity to bleed through to trust the Eternal Creator to trust what you're given when you write down on a piece of paper and something comes out of
your mind to trust that it is the right thing to do one of the best ways I found to do this I read a book called The Artist Way by Julia Cameron and she recommends three pages of morning writing every day as Stephen King had a fa favorite line he used to say was that I only write when inspiration strikes luckily it strikes at 9:00 a.m. every morning and that's what these three pages are they're three pages of creative flow of any blabble that wants to come out of your mouth or out of your mind
and onto paper and what you find by just doing that consistently is that you start to find your inner artist now what I would recommend is you have a skill or some sort of craft a creative Endeavor it could even be a hobby a YouTube video like this one this was a creative Endeavor for me this is something I've really enjoyed making and building I build it all myself I've done all the editing all the all the shots with a bit of help from my team and we put this thing together with the music we
wanted and that was just an inner expression of what I want to say and what I want to do and honing my craft and I find that to be incredibly powerful because you have to listen to yourself and you have to know who you are to get that creativity out and it helps you get closer to your core and it's just all about trusting that maybe you will have a good idea that ideas the good ones don't come from you anyway I believe in Universal intelligence that your ideas come from the cosmos and that you
just wire into them that you are infinitely more intelligent than you think you are because you can access information that you don't even know about and you'll find that often with writers they can write about experiences that they haven't had they can write characters that are smarter than them and that's because we can draw creative inspiration far more powerful than ourselves and I believe everything truly comes down to Art uh what humans like and the reason we buy products and the reasons we like people and the thing that really speaks to our soul is Art
and art is an expression of The Human Experience of the pain that we all feel and showing that to people across any realm whether it be a blog or an email list that you write or some text on your website or a video that you make dialing into your art is a massive part of discovering who you are and it's one of the most beautiful Journeys in my opinion and will help you in business and lesson number nine which is actually my final lesson that I've learned so far is that the true Freedom comes from
discipline that we don't actually want to be able to do whatever we want all the time and discipline is the key to our soul the happiest times in my life have been times of extreme discipline times when I look back and think wow how the hell did I make it through that how did I stick to that schedule and you become proud of yourself and when you become proud of yourself you start to listen to yourself more you start to treat yourself better you start to understand who you truly are so I would recommend just
as a starter you wake up at the same time every day you train really [ __ ] hard you go and do martial arts and you create something on a daily basis whether it's in your business whether it's a sales call a blog post or an email or Instagram story you work hard you set a schedule and you stick to it over a long enough period of time to feel self-growth and there's a great quote again from turning pro by Steven pressfield when he talks about going from amateur to Pro the majority of people in
life are amateurs they never take anything seriously they can never stick to a plan and they never achieve their dreams and he talks about what it was like for him when he turned Pro and turning pro is just taking life ser serously essentially that year made me a pro it gave me the first time in my life an uninterrupted stretch of month after month that was mine alone that nobody knew about but me when I was truly productive truly facing my demons and truly working my [ __ ] that year has stuck with me the
hero wanders the hero suffers the hero returns you are that hero [Music]