Casually Explained: Moving Out

moving out is one of the most exciting milestones of any young person's life if you define young as roughly under 30 and from the moment you start looking for your own place right up until you start living off microwave noodles and Lucky Charms the entire process is filled with unexpected things that no one has ever told you about what they really should have so the first thing that happens obviously is deciding to move out because in this day and age if your parents decide to kick you out it's honestly like throwing a baby bird out

of the nest when it's still an egg we're like releasing a domestic rabbit straight into the wok of a Chinese restaurant so then assuming you're personally ready to take the leap the next thing you say to yourself is alright do I want a roommate or not and of course you don't but check with your savings account because it's the one that calls all the shots in this relationship now once you deal with that hurdle we start getting to the exciting part which is looking at places to move to so open up Craigslist and using their

interactive map that shows you nearby listings you can start looking at places in the most expensive parts of town and then gradually lower your standards as you come to grips with reality then when you finally find a place that you'll settle for it you have to send a message to the owners and hope they'll also settle for you now a lot of people see a place they really like but tell themselves there's no way I'd qualify it's probably gone already it's too expensive and the owners would never lower the rent for me so they aim

too low and end up dissatisfied so when it comes to contacting different owners or landlords you really need to think of the whole situation like dating and just like when you're into someone but are too afraid to ask them out remind yourself that you're never going to see that person again and you have nothing to lose except all your self-esteem now an important thing to keep in mind if you get interviewed or have to fill in a detailed application is not to overthink the dumb questions do you play drums just say no do you have

many parties just say no do you have a lot of loud sex down ones self-evident the questions are as blunt as you think they are it's not some personality quiz you should treat it like a part of the customs form at the airport that asks you have you been involved with a terrorist organization in the last seven years don't start thinking well technically it's only been six years and eight months it's a trick just put no this all ties back to my golden rule if you're a terrorist don't say you are so if you do

get lucky enough that they're still interested in you despite your lack of the property owners they're gonna ask for a letter of recommendation from your previous landlord so tell them no problem I'll ask my mom they're gonna love that and then they might also ask for a reference from your employer so I like to link my YouTube channel and hope for the best so far the best has never happened now assuming the landlord has for some reason chosen you is the most qualified person for their unit it's time to sign on the dotted line and

as you struggle to write your name cursive Li for the first time you can quietly reassure yourself that you're an adult as we flash forward a couple weeks later when it comes time to move in if you have roommates that's great because they can help you move all your stuff as in your computer so once you stock up on the essentials and it's actually liveable after only a few days you'll notice there are million things that are going to happen that you didn't expect like getting calls from your parents where they sound suspiciously happy there's

also a ton of things you have to learn that they never taught you in school like how to stop the government from taking away your electricity and avoiding starvation if you live with a roommate you have to constantly deal with their [ __ ] them not doing the dishes not putting away their clothes internet usage spikes at 1:00 a.m. or whenever they take a shower for some reason you pretend to not understand and of course having to deal with neighbors who get way more sex than you but on the other hand if you live by

yourself you have to constantly deal with your own self sabotage because no one can hold you accountable for anything like when you first move in you're thinking oh man I'm gonna keep this place spick-and-span have my friends over every weekend host a cocktail night for my family learn to cook take an hour every evening before bed to read and relax but three months later you'll be lying on an uncovered mattress of three again listening to your neighbors try to save their marriage and wondering how long it would take for someone to notice if you didn't

wake up finally a month or two later you'll get hit with your first bills water heat electricity internet phone Netflix and more rent this is the price you pay for growing up but don't worry we all regret it the good news is you only have to deal with it for around 60 more years and by then maybe you'll even have your own kids who will still live with you [Music] you